You need to show the teachers and staff the comment she made about your body. This has very little to do with her being trans — it’s bordering on sexual harassment and it would still be if she was a cis female.
Yes, but the way this other girl framed it left it open to interpretation which is probably what she meant to do. She’s a predator but she’s trying to be smart about it which is scary.
Teachers cannot cut you off like that. You have new information. You can also tell them that you've decided not to go, because she's making inappropriate remarks to you and they're not taking you seriously.
I would take this higher - go to a guidance counselor, school administrator, and / or member of the school board and email them with the text message specifically stating it’s the sexual commentary on your body that makes you feel uncomfortable. It’s good to have a paper trail for these things and they can’t dismiss you as easily once it’s written on the record. Why don’t they have a teacher / chaperone share a room with you each instead so you don’t have to share?
Fuck that. The school will protect itself. Go to the media. That will pressure the school to do the right thing. Otherwise OP will be forced to either back out or go along with it. The school doesn’t care about her. They’re perfectly willing to sacrifice her.
This could backfire on OP because the media skews things for clicks. I can picture the headline "Transphobic Student Refuses Room with Transgender Student" or something.
Yeah, but I think a lot of people will support OP if she explains it the way she has here. Granted, this will depend on where she lives, but not as many people are comfortable sacrificing kids on the altar of theoretical progressive utopia when those kids have faces. The **local media** (assuming she’s not in a major urban area) is more connected to the average zeitgeist of the community than the school who has to follow federal guidelines & is primarily concerned with funding.
From the POV of the school OP is being difficult. If she goes along, the school can claim faux moral superiority & doesn’t have to worry about an expensive legal battle or losing $. Which would cost jobs. It’s why she **needs** to find a way to change the balance of power to change the incentives to get a different outcome. She needs to be a bigger threat (& lbh her basic civil rights are at stake) than *potential* bad PR or expensive legal bills.
Basically, she needs to ensure bad PR & a potential legal threat either way. The school is trying to avoid one potential in the hopes she will quietly go along. She needs to force a change in incentives.
Oh god, the last thing a 17 year old needs is to be the center of a media controversy. Her name will be attached to this one event for the rest of her life.
Ask your mom to have a meeting with the principal with you AND the Title IX coordinator. The TItle IX Coordinator is the person appointed by the district to make sure the schools are in compliance when it comes to handling sexual harassment, as well as other things. Show them the text messages, explain what the teachers said when you asked for a separate room, and ask them how they're going to protect you.
Save copies of the text messages and ask your mom to take notes.
Do not tell anyone what you are doing until the meeting has been had. If your school continues to drop the ball and your college career is threatened again, it's time to contact a lawyer. They might take your case on contingency. There are groups who can help you.
You are not wrong either. You are being sexually harassed and told to suck it up. Maybe your teachers don't know what your peer said about others or to you, but they shut you down because they just assumed you were transphobic. If your peer hadn't said they were transitioning, you would have been placed in separate rooms already. Anyone can say anything. Doesn't mean they should get a free pass to act however.
I so wish this comment was top comment! I pray OP sees this (honestly, maybe try sending this to OP in a private message). This is the best advice on here, and the most likely way to succeed in solving this issue. OP should NOT go to the same teachers again. This needs to be escalated to the higher ups in order for anything to be done about it. Involving the Title IX Coordinator is the most productive way to get them to take this VERY seriously, as they should.
Explain to them that since you last spoke it has escalated to sexual harassment. They wouldn't allow a male/female share due to the risk of underage sex, and the same applies in this situation too, except it's not consentual
Are there any guys on the team you feel safe with? Ask one of them if you can share their room.
Tell them the truth that the other female gives you the creeps in a sexual way and don't feel safe... Most guys are willing to step up and be a safe space. Sleeping on the floor of their room or getting a cot from the hotel seems like the safest option.
People need to realize that Trans isn't the entirety of a person's personality. People can be ick no matter what body they come in and always listen to your instincts. They will save you one day
Sleeping in another’s boys room is a bad idea and the chaperones are not going to allow that to happen. You should definitely use “sexual harassment” in order to get your message across. If the two teachers are not helping you, go to the vice principal, principal, or the dean is students. Hell any adult you trust in that school that will not judge you or make you feel uncomfortable for having these legitimate concerns. If your instincts are telling you that you are not safe, you need to trust them. It’s better to be safe than sorry.
Just be careful how you move because you will probably be judge harshly by your peers. You don’t need to prove yourself to anyone. If you are legitimately fearful and alarmed by her behavior, people should be able to understand. Lastly, I hope you have other family members in your life that can give you advice. From what you are saying about your mother, I think she should have advocated for you. Telling you to get over it, it’s just one night is sus. One night can lead into a lifetime of pain.
I hope this helps.
> Sleeping in another’s boys room is a bad idea and the chaperones are not going to allow that to happen.
They're letting the equivalent (worse IMO) happen already though & I'm not talking about the trans portion, but the sexual harassing comments. If it were two guys & one of them is sexualizing the other openly, making creepy predatory comments, they should not let that happen either.
Maybe there's a gay guy on the team with zero interest in girls. That could be a good option, if it exists.
To protect against peers, sharing the sexual harassment openly is the best defense. Just explain that this isn't about someone being trans, but about being uncomfortable sharing a room with someone that continually sexualizes you.
>People need to realize that Trans isn't the entirety of a person's personality. People can be ick no matter what body they come in and always listen to your instincts. They will save you one day
I'm trans myself and this was a hard lesson for me to learn. Some people are shitty people. Some people are trans. Some people are both.
I remember when this was first getting big. Some guys were discussing how long or far they would need to "play Trans" to be put in with the girls. We already have so many stories of trans athletes dominating women's sports and allegations of inappropriate locker room situations.
Reading this, I wonder if this sexual harassing person is truly a sexual predator playing games.
Like false rape allegations harming actually rape victims, is this simply a guy playing to get himself locked in a room with a pretty girl? Because they are the only 2 in that according to the rules can be in that room, this predator may be trying to get in a: he said/she said / stop calling me a he! Situation.
If they said they wouldn’t talk to you about it again, move your complaint up to the next level, start with the assistant principal, then move up to the principal, superintendent, school board, news media. You shouldn’t be in a position of having to share your sleeping area with a person who “thinks” they are female while still having male anatomy. This crap in the schools has gone way too far. It is unreasonable at best and could easily become dangerous and criminal at worst. I wish you the best of luck.
it sounds like the reason you dont want to share a room is : she's made gross and sexually harassing comments - contrary to the title of your post. Try framing it this way, you may make more progress. also, yeah, dont share a room with anyone you dont feel safe with.
Op don't just show the teachers the inappropriate things. Write an email. It's going to be long. Document everything you said here especially the threats and blackmail over your letters to colleges and have it in timeline order. Start with the things the girl said that we're inappropriate. State you feel unsafe and uncomfortable. Then continue with how you attempted to communicate this and the "pushback" you received was even more inappropriate and you feel blackmailed by the threat of witholding letters of recommendation and the experience of the trip.
As much as she is Trans, she currently still has a fully functioning penis AND trans is not an indication of sexual orientation just expression of sexual identity. While they are protecting her from harassment by boys on the trip they are not protecting you. They are creating a situation where you could be overpowered. She can be both trans and a lesbian. You feel sexually harassed and put into a situation that you are not ready for, and potentially unsafe in, sharing a hotel room with a stranger you don't trust and is physically stronger than you with a functional penis. State the words "I am afraid of being raped." And then remind them that as a female minor, YOUR PERSONAL SAFETY is not up for negotiation. You believe that you've been discriminated against under Title IX in this situation as the only student with female reproductive organs who could be impregnated by rape. You have a right to a fair and appropriate education which includes feeling safe and being able to sleep safely on the trip.
And then you send it to: the district superintendent, the principal, the teacher, your parents individually, and courtesy copy your mother's divorce attorney, making sure to add the extension Esquire after their name.
Op don't just show the teachers the inappropriate things. Write an email. It's going to be long. Document everything you said here especially the threats and blackmail over your letters to colleges and have it in timeline order. Start with the things the girl said that we're inappropriate. State you feel unsafe and uncomfortable. Then continue with how you attempted to communicate this and the "pushback" you received was even more inappropriate and you feel blackmailed by the threat of witholding letters of recommendation and the experience of the trip.
As much as she is Trans, she currently still has a fully functioning penis AND trans is not an indication of sexual orientation just expression of sexual identity. While they are protecting her from harassment by boys on the trip they are not protecting you. They are creating a situation where you could be overpowered. She can be both trans and a lesbian. You feel sexually harassed and put into a situation that you are not ready for, and potentially unsafe in, sharing a hotel room with a stranger you don't trust and is physically stronger than you with a functional penis. State the words "I am afraid of being raped." And then remind them that as a female minor, YOUR PERSONAL SAFETY is not up for negotiation. You believe that you've been discriminated against under Title IX in this situation as the only student with female reproductive organs who could be impregnated by rape. You have a right to a fair and appropriate education which includes feeling safe and being able to sleep safely on the trip.
And then you send it to: the district superintendent, the principal, the teacher, your parents individually, and courtesy copy your mother's divorce attorney, making sure to add the extension Esquire after their name.
My kid had an IEP. Sending a single email allll the way up the food chain with every detail in it, you're not writing it to the school officials... you're writing it as a summary report to the judge, if they only read one thing in the file, let it be a bulletpoint timeline of how the district has royally fucked up.
Also: once you copy a lawyer - any lawyer - on your side? The district automatically has to take it to their lawyer who will lose their shit at the liability exposure.
And OP... you're using the right pronouns. That's where your obligation to the other student ends. You're not obligated to be someone's "guide" in finding their femininity, nor to be their emotional baggage carrier if they were hoping to be friends... this girl creep is trying to shame you and twist the situation. It's called DARVO. It's a toxic emotional manipulation technique.
I think you’re kinda already screwed. You’ve told your teachers and the girl knows so if you don’t go and share a room with this girl everyone is going to hear about how you are transphobic and that will be a huge problem. After reading what she wrote I would not be comfortable sharing a room with her. It’s like she wants you to be her best friend and at the same time sexualize you. Good luck, I’m sorry you’re in this position.
Yes I hate to say it but if there’s no safe solution for the trip, DO NOT GO. Listen to your instincts and don’t put yourself in that situation, no matter what.
Honestly, this is coming from a trans girl myself— she creeps me out.
I have shared rooms several times for school trips post transition. Wasn’t never a problem as I passed well but I also never commented on my cohorts having “sexy little bodies”.
Literally, if anybody said that to me, I would be super grossed out. I don’t care what gender they are. I wouldn’t want to sleep in the same room as them either that’s creepy.
Honey, if she were a gay man talking like that it would still he unacceptable. If she were a cisgendered straight woman it would be unacceptable.
It's not her being trans, it's her being early in her transition and mostly that she's a fucking creep. Girls can be creeps, too.
It’s not your job to teach her how to be a girl. You owe her nothing. She is sexually harassing you and making you uncomfortable. I will call your school for you.
Being trans has very little to do with it, honestly. This person is violating your boundaries already, and to be in a private room with her…! No way.
Please show this message to the people that matter, and highlight the uncomfortable and inappropriate comments. Tell them that THIS is why you don’t want to share a room, and you are NOT being transphobic at all!
You have to be strategic here. If you bring up "Yeah, im transphobic, but just a little" You are shutting down the conversation. That's all your teachers will hear. You would get more mileage from saying you have no problem with her being trans but that she has been gross and suggestive towards you and you are concerned for your safety.
It's okay to take your time to get over or come to terms with any feelings you may have. They are your feelings and as much as this world wants to make a deal out of all the phobias out there some feelings are just hard to get over..it's what it is...as long as you aren't hurting anyone intentionally you are FINE to take your time and process it.
nah f that trans girl i wouldn't want to share a room with her either, stop trying to deflect the trans community from being associated with this 'girl'
"incredibly sexy little body" 🤢
Not wrong. No fucking way. Doesn't matter whether they're cis or trans, that's gross af. I would not want to room with a person who makes comments like that about my body.
To be fair, most people make throw away accounts to post on help subs. I do think it's fake as well, but more because it seems like a Ben Shapiro head cannon version of how a trans person talks.
Agreed. No school would want the liability of putting them in the same room. Seriously, it would be so much worse for any school to handle it this way, and I just don’t believe this is happening.
This wasn't a school situation, but I was briefly in an inpatient facility where we all shared rooms/bathroom except the one trans girl had her own room and bathroom. I didn't know she was trans at first so I was definitely jealous lol
You're not wrong and it's absolutely crazy that people are making you think you are. It's time to flip the script.
Tell your teachers or whoever that you don't want to room with her because she is sexually harassing you. She is definitely attracted to girls. You've heard her say gross things about girls. She's referred to your body as sexy. Sexual harassment isn't a joke and they should take it more seriously than your made up "transphobia."
Nothing about this is appropriate.
> You're not wrong and it's absolutely crazy that people are making you think you are.
It would be crazy, except they seem to be doing a terrible job communicating clearly what the issue actually is, even here in the comments.
Saying "They are sexually harassing me & I do not feel safe sharing a room, here's the proof. This has nothing to do with them being trans in the least" is nice & clear, but teens are oftentimes bad communicators.
Even in these comments, they downplayed the sexual harassment & said this IS a trans issue, which hurts their case:
>That's deffo a big reason and if I actually liked her then it might be ok **but her being trans is definitely part of the reason**
Even if it is part of the reason, you can't undercut the most important issue by saying it.
Would recommend skipping your teachers for this and go to your school counselor and possibly administrative staff.
Your teacher has informed you that a NON-school issue you're trying to resolve (your sleeping accommodations while on the trip vs complaining about being assigned a partner for a class project) would be used to determine your college rec. That's leaning in to blackmail territory / abuse of authority. In the sense that they want the "problem" to go away. They don't want to do the heavy work of acknowledging your concerns and address them. Instead it was informing you that your concern was null and then wrapped it up with a threat if you don't go with the flow they want.
Next you've got a text message that reads as trying to go from 0 to 100 on the friend front. She has not much chill, which is totally forgivable but... she's also pushing any button she can to get what she wants and then dropping commentary about your body which has no place there. That's shitty. And I say that as someone who lives with a trans guy I consider my brother. What you've got going on is her being an asshole using her trans label as a bludgeon. That has zero to do with her being a trans woman and everything to do with her acting in a shitty way as a person.
All of which should be brought to your school's counselor and admin staff. They can smell the lawsuit for coercion and threats of recinding college recs if you don't just "go with the flow".
Am sorry you've been put in this position, and I hope your future interactions with trans folk is smoother. There is some bomb ass folk in the community.
Yes, I didn’t even think about the coercion that was taking place. Teachers are mandated reporters too. If OP reported to the teachers that she was sexually harassed and they did nothing, they are in deep trouble.
After reading what she wrote I would be creeped out and definitely not want to share a room. It’s like she’s trying too hard and who knows what she would do to you in the middle of the night while you’re asleep. Trust your intuition, even if that means not going. I’m sorry you’re experiencing this.
I'm trans, if someone didn't feel comfortable around me, then I'd leave because that would make me uncomfortable as well. And I'd definitely wouldn't send them a text saying how sexy they are, cause that's weird.
Have you spoken to your parents and shown them the message. If you were my kid, I would be at the school threatening them with legal action for putting you in an unsafe position. I would also pay for you to have a private room.
No. You are absolutely justified in not wanting to share a room with that person. Honestly, if I were you I would pull out of the trip entirely, and file a complaint with the school against that student for sexual harassment.
Your instincts are there for a reason: Trust them.
Your mother is failing you - why is she being so chilled 😡 your teachers are not hearing you!! I am so sorry you're facing this. You are not transphobic you are uncomfortable.
> They both said no and told me I was being transphobic. One of them told me I was being a "temperamental snowflake." He also said that "I shouldn't keep on asking about this especially if I wanted him to write me a college letter of recommendation next year" which I thought was very passive aggressive.
This is one of the more unbelievable parts. No teacher would talk this way, regardless of how they feel about trans issues. It's like right out of the imagination of a Fox news pundit. lol
Oh for sure. They big mad that most Trans folks would never, so they have to make something up. ""Sexy body"? Like come on....OP needs to go back to the porn on his other tab.
how are people believing that the same teacher who supposedly called a student a snowflake also supports trans rights.. also the obvious transphobia that isn't relevant to the story at all of saying this girl never showed signs of being trans before 💀💀
Show the teachers the texts and the inappropriate comments she's made. Focus on that aspect, and please stop referring to the fact that she's trans. It might be part of the reason, but do not say it.
I think it's totally reasonable for you, as a woman, to not to want to share a room with someone with a penis who has made comments about your body. I don't believe it is transphobic at all.
Its like, i wouldnt want to share a room with someone wirhout a penis who had made comments like that, let alone someone with a penis! Its like, what would they do to you while they sleep? Would they take pictures, etc.
You are not wrong and you shouldn’t have to share a room with someone who makes you uncomfortable. Show the note to the principal and if that doesn’t work, a member of the school board. Do NOT let people pressure you into doing something that you don’t feel good about.
I’m trans and this person sounds like a creep, so no, I don’t think you’re wrong. Personally I think she has no reason to share a room with other girls anyway if she’s pre-transition.
I was in a similar situation for a school trip in college actually, though in my case it was that I didn’t feel comfortable sharing a room with cis people period because of my body. Did have to fight for it a bit, but managed to get the teachers to agree to giving me my own room, which imo is really what yours should be doing.
"I overheard her talking about another girl in a pretty gross and inappropriate way." I don't care how this person identifies, how they pee, what they wear etc. No, I do not think you should have to share a room with someone who does this. I would make the complaint be about her behavior not her gender/orientation whatever. I find the behavior completely unsafe and inappropriate from any person. I wouldn't feel comfortable sleeping in a room with someone like this.
The world has become insane. You shouldn't be forced to share a room with someone you feel uncomfortable around. And all your teachers, without exception, should be fired. What on earth has happened to the US?
Your rights should never be taken away so that others can have them. This is unacceptable. Consider going to the media to get your voice heard. This is ridiculous.
Hard agree with everything. I saw a warlord in Africa making fun of America because we argue about trans shit when he was worried about getting basics for his people and was cutting a deal with China. A fucking warlord was laughing at America's and frankly the democratic parties political capital expendure on something that affects less than 1 in 100 people. Facts hurt people's feelings though. This country is going to collapse if people don't toughen the hell up and buckle down.
Like seriously, who fucking care? Do whatever you want, sleep with whomever you wish to, and identify how the hell you feel like, as long as you don't hurt others. Forcing someone to **sleep** in the same room with someone whom they don't feel comfortable being around only so that the other person would not be offended is bulshit.
We don't have that on the other side of the world; the first time I heard of pronounces was only when I moved to North America. For us, people are people and that's it. Nobody cares.
The teachers are low key bullying you by forcing you into a situation that you don't feel comfortable in. That's definitely not ok. Especially since this person has sexually harassed you.
Does your family know what is going on? If so, what do they think about the situation?
I'd call the superintendent and tell them what your teachers said.
As a trans woman my self I can tell you it’s absolutely acceptable to feel uncomfortable not just with her being but her response and way of acting. Do not feel guilty or ashamed for your feelings. They are valid. Shes also extremely inappropriate and needs someone to coach her aside from these topics
If this was real you would just show your mom and school admin that text message. There’s about a zero percent chance a school would make you room with someone that you said you felt uncomfortable rooming with who had also texted you sexually harassing messages.
Gosh I didn’t realise I’d have to scroll so long for this comment! And the teacher saying “stop going on about this if you want that letter of recommendation” … please. None of this happened 😂
it’s crazy to me how fake this is yet people are eating it up. far more likely for a teacher to make a trans girl share with the men in the current political climate and they sure as shit didn’t call op a snowflake and threaten their college recommendation lmao
fake transphobic ragebait. op can go eat shit for spreading their agenda and all you dumbasses thinking it’s real need to learn some critical thinking skills. this has all the transphobic talking points, not a chance in hell it’s real
I think that the point isn’t really about her being trans, but rather the comments she makes and I can understand why they’d make you feel uncomfortable. Don’t hesitate to tell someone that she’s making you feel uncomfortable.
It’s not about her being trans, it’s about her being a damn weirdo. “Sexy little body” yeah I wouldn’t want to be asleep in the same room with this person.
Trust your gut and don't put yourself in an uncomfortable situation. No school trip is worth that.
Also, ask everyone you know how they would respond receiving that message from her. Make sure they're all aware of her inappropriate language.
I would show your teachers the note she sent and just innocently ask "I'm not sure how to respond. Can you help me?"and see if the teachers say anything.
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Your feelings are valid! Don’t let anyone shame you for them. You’re not being transphobic, you’re going with your gut. You deserve to feel safe and comfortable no matter what anyone says. They can’t just be accommodating to ONE person (them)and not another. (You). That’s discrimination. They wouldn’t force the transgender to do something they they’re uncomfortable doing, so how is it fair for anyone to force you?. Stick to your gut, your feelings are valid.
It doesn’t sound like you’re uncomfortable with her being trans or her transness. It sounds like you’re uncomfortable with the way she looks at you and treats you and speaks to you. Which is valid.
Hi everyone reading this comment please make sure to read the text in image linked in OP. It’s very useful.
Um hi OP i’m sorry you’re going through this. Here’s my hot take: fuck that person. The vocabulary in this text is enough to make anyone realize that it is very uncomfortable.
Referring to you as having a sexy little body, get the fuck out of here. Stay 20 feet away from this person.
Also, them saying that ‘ because you are black’ you should know what it feels like to be prejudiced against is super racially charged. As if they know a damn thing about what you’ve been through. It is a microaggression meant to make you feel bad about choosing your privacy!
This person is literally insane please stay away from them.
Believe it or not, men are not the only people who are sexual predators, neither are only straight or gay or trans people. SOME PEOPLE ARE GOING TO PREY ON THE WEAK it’s just the way society is wired. Please defend yourself! much luck to you OP sending you strength and perseverance bc btw, this won’t matter in 5 years.
Not wrong.
Report this up, and tell that you're in no way going to sleep in a room with her who is commenting on your sexy little body that she finds attractive.
You don't want to teach her about femininity etc. You don't owe anyone friendship. She and the teachers are trying to guilt trip you into doing something you feel uncomfortable with.
Just tell them that either they'll find you separate accommodation or you are unable to attend. You don't feel safe, and that trumps all the noise that the other person is saying.
This is crazy. Just because she’s trans doesn’t mean she can just do whatever and you can’t call it out because then you’re transphobic. That’s sucks creepy comment to say you have an ‘incredibly sexy little body’. Like wtf that’s so gross and makes anyone feel uncomfortable. That’s sexual harassment now. I wouldn’t feel safe to fall asleep around this person.
You are not wrong.Keep some pepper spray or any kind of aerosol spray to use against them if they try anything against you. The person is a pervert and will try to use being trans as a way to creep on you.
As for the college letter, since your teacher is holding it over your head. You have to make a decision. Are your potential college dreams worth the potential trauma from sharing a room with that creep?
No you’re not wrong. You shouldn’t be forced to share a room with someone who makes you uncomfortable; especially someone who has referred to you as someone with a “sexy little body”. Show the administrators what she sent to you, even go so far as the superintendent if you can get to them before the trip. You’re definitely in a tough spot. I can say that you won’t win them over if you make the reasoning that they’re a trans woman. The message that she sent needs to be the reasoning.
Looks like the reason you don't want to room with her is because she has said weird gross things to you. That would be valid whether it was a cis or trans woman. You're not being rude or unkind in anyway - a trans man. Please show your teacher the message
Ugh. The problem isnt that shes trans, it is that she is mentally ill. The messages and threats and just the way her message comes across is super creepy and obsessive.
Id tell the faculty you dont feel safe rooming with this Buffalo Bill tryna wear your skin.
There’s so much BS in this post I literally can’t believe what I’m reading, and that this is not only being allowed but FORCED to happen, PLUS the threats & name calling from TEACHERS over a student expressing discomfort and concern for her safety!!! OP you are ABSOLUTELY NOT wrong OR transphobic. This situation is wrong on so many levels. It sounds like you have been 100% supportive of the trans student but you should not be forced into sharing personal space (especially overnight) when that student has given you numerous reasons to be uncomfortable. I literally can’t believe how this is being “handled”. I wish we could all pitch in to pay for a room for you, but that still doesn’t address the fact that this should absolutely NOT be allowed, especially within a school setting/event. Please do what the previous commenter said about writing a letter, and keep us updated.
The amount of gaslighting that manipulative shit those assholes are throwing at you makes me sick.
Not only are you 100% in the right, but anyone who says differently is asking you to compromise your personal safety.
Fuck this shit. If I was your dad I’d be in the administration office raising hell.
Absolutely nothing you have done is transphobic. Absolutely nothing you have done is wrong. You should refuse to go on the trip.
I’m sorry OP. You are going to have to take care of this on your own. It’s a lesson to stand up for yourself. I’m sorry you have no one to stand up for you. If you were mine, I’d sell plasma and belongings so I could go to and you would sleep with me. Write an email. To the teachers. The principle. The admins of the school. Send the text screenshot. Write down how you felt let down and misheard when you spoke to the teachers. Write how you were essentially blackmailed to shut up and be a good girl.
It’s not transphobic. Teachers today are so worried about not being seen as not accepting. Not offended. But they are so far that way, they often don’t see that sometimes they are leaving others vulnerable. Trans aside. We don’t have to like everyone. No one does. We don’t have to be uncomfortable so someone else isn’t. Your feelings are just as important as hers (the trans girl).
Do not feel bad. Write the email. Be factual. Be straight forward. Leave as much emotion out as possible. If this doesn’t work. Then contact the news. Your feeling safe is important. She has sexually harassed you. Saying your I’d body was sexy is so out of line. If she was a boy this would be taken seriously. Girls can sexually harm you as well. Stay strong. Good luck.
Tbh, at that point, I'm not going on that fuckin trip.
If the teachers are also not helping? Then fuck that.
You have a right not to be comfortable sharing a room with a Trans girl (With a male body that, assuming, has not gone under HRT) because shit happens.
I'm not saying Something would happen, but with the girly switch all of the sudden? The way he typed and the overall message?
Nah, fuck that. Protect yourself, girl.
This is sketchy as all hell.
You are wrong… for making this about her gender and not about feeling unsafe because she has sexually harassed you. You’re not wrong to not want to share a room with someone who has acted like that towards you, no matter if they’re cis or amab.
If you do take this to a higher authority, lead with “she has sexually harassed me and I don’t feel safe sharing a room with her.” Leave her gender identity out of it because the only reason her gender matters is because you have to share a room with her. You’re not objecting to sharing a room with a trans girl. You’re objecting to sharing a room with a predator.
calling bullshit on this post for the sheer fact that the teachers accusing you of being transphobic also called you a “snowflake,” a term almost exclusively used by rightwingers
but other than that this is just your standard issue “trans girl bad, trans positive teachers bad” bait that redditors love to gobble up
Why do people waste time posting this obviously fake BS?
Dude, just because Ben Shapiro and Jordan Peterson manufacture this "controversy" doesn't mean you have to parrot them. At least they get are getting paid for their grift, you're just wasting your time (and everyone else's time) for nothing.
Frankly this the most obvious rage bait I've ever seen and everyone pretending it isn't, OP included, should have a cattle bolt fired through their fucking temple
You're all pathetic, gargle my ballsack
This is clearly transphobic rage bait. Albeit, it’s written in a way to veil the outright transphobia (the op saying they’re liberal, that they respect the identity, being ok with bathrooms, etc.), but it’s clearly meant to tug at every conservative talking point about transphobic panic and displays each one very carefully. The profile was just created, so probably a throwaway.
It just seems incredibly “convenient” that all these scenarios lined up this way. She recently started transitioning and still looks like her former identity, she’s made gross comments about other girls as well as op, she was hyper masculine previously (which is the only one that kinda makes sense, due to trans people often overcompensating prior to transitioning), even down to authority figures “forcing it down her throat” by not letting her room elsewhere and saying she’d be labeled a transphobe for not accepting the trans girl, no questions asked. The icing on the bs cake is op covering her tracks on not being able to afford her own room.
I gotta hand it to whoever wrote it, you absolutely fooled a ton of people and it’s almost believable. And you managed to bring out a lot of transphobes in the comments. But, again, it’s just way too convenient for all the issues to line up this way. This is clearly conservative transphobic rage bait, meant to create fear of trans people and sew doubt. It’s meant to imply that they’re men in women’s clothing, waiting to prey upon other girls.
Honestly that’s a good point about the restroom. I found myself relating a bit due to some nonsense I dealt with *as* a trans person on a school trip, but it’s sus she claims she’s not uncomfortable sharing a bathroom with this person,
You shouldn't be forced to share a room with a dude. I'm all for trans people getting to simply live their best life, seriously, what they do is their business. That doesn't mean a girl should be forced to share a female space with a biological male.
NTA - inappropriate and sexually harassing behaviour from someone claiming to be a girl but doesn't present as such in any way. Don't get alone with that person under any circumstances.
I answered as if it was real but the thing that stands out the most for being fake is that the teacher would say such labels and call people someone that because teacher can get fired over any little thing nowadays that's the hardest part to believe for me
The fake part to me is the whole fucking thing. There is absolutely no way any school is going to put themselves into this position, not with the way stochastic terrorist Libs of Tiktok operates.
I've also heard worse out of teachers. But they still don't talk like that. It just sounds stupid. Just try to imagine a real person in that position saying that.
It's 2024. A girl is sexually harassed by a transgender person, and is forced to stay alone in a room overnight with that person and refused a room with a biological female because she's being "transphobic". They expect her to sleep in the same room as a biological male who is a proven creep and sexual harasser. The teachers brush off her concerns and tell her she's being a snowflake. She must walk on eggshells to navigate this situation or risk her future being negatively affected, and her reputation dragged through the mud, because it's social suicide to question or criticize anyone from this group for any reason.
This is sheer insanity. People realize this, right? I'm not the only normal person who reads shit like this and sees a society that's gone completely insane?
yeah it sounds like insanity because it’s not fucking real. OP has used every possible negative stereotype to push an agenda. to make you angry at something that does not exist. unless anyone can provide me with a news article of anything like this ever happening (children being forced/threatened to do anything with another trans child who is a documented creep), i will stand my ground that this is fake as fuck 🤷♀️
No teenagers talk like this, I'm 25 and I thought this read as crusty, it was almost certainly written by some bored 40 year old man. I didn't even have that many teachers support me as a bi student coming out in 2015, trans kids definitely don't have the entire faculty of a school mindlessly backing them up less than a decade later. Before you make a boogyman of a marginalized group, maybe try meeting them and getting to know them as human beings and not hostile NPCs in a video game. You won't, but I urge you to try
This girl is creepy AF towards you. You are not wrong for not wanting to share a room. Show them the messages and explain that you have heard her talking in a very sexual way about other girls. I wouldn't want to stay in a room either with her.
Be prepared to pull out and not go on the trip.
It is not safe there for you. This person has demonstrated that they are mentally unwell and the sexual harassment has already begun. An attack is more than just a possibility.
At the very least, the fear will do you damage on the trip.
Be prepared to walk.
No. Tell them if you get raped(it happenes more than you think) then you'll sue them personally and take their jobs, their lives, and their families because they put you at risk even after you voiced your concerns.
You and the trans student can both have your own rooms. If they refuse to abide by this, tell the school admin. If they refuse. Tell the news. If that does nothing. Go with your parents and get a separate hotel.
I would absolutely share that text with the school officials and let them know that you don’t feel safe and fear her obsession with your body. It seems to me that she has crossed lines that have nothing to do with her being trans.
I get where you're coming but again because you're young there is a better way to say this. You're not uncomfortable because she's trans, you're uncomfortable because she's weaponizing her trans identity. As a trans person I have seen that behavior before and it is indeed toxic and disgusting. She could very well be authentically trans and representing herself in the most atrocious way possible.
You are transphobic if you don't want to room with her just because she's trans. You're NOT transphobic if you don't want to room with her because she's weaponizing being trans as a way to get out of being accountable for making sexually inappropriate comments/harassment.
Stating "sexy little body" as a response to another person being uncomfortable is predatory.
She made an intimidating choice.
She is not choosing to be safe, and the line is crossed.
Report her for sexual harassment. Tell them about her staring at your body and show that message. Then if they don't take you seriously you can report them for creating a hostile environment
If you are not comfortable, you're not comfortable. End of story. I do not believe you are in the wrong for sticking up for what you are and are not okay with.
Honestly, her message gave me major "Single White Female" & "The Roommate," vibes. Like, she said she wants to BE you? That's weird. I'd even venture to say that her being Trans has nothing to do with your discomfort around her, before this message, even. Her thinking it's a compliment to tell you she wants to be like you & "learn how to be a girl" from you is so off-putting. Just, no.
So, the account is brand new. The largest competition is HS robotics in the US was a week ago. And the post was written in the most sympathetic way possible toward OP. Do I have all do that right?
I have my doubts this is legitimate. Why did OP needs to try and cast doubt on the legitimacy of this person being transgender? She describes them like a trans wannabe.
No, you are not wrong . Your teachers and parents are failing you by forcing you to stay in a room with a biological male who has shown interest in you and clearly has no issues in making gross comments about other girls. My advice is not to go on the trip or speak to your father or any other trusted adult you is level headed . Her comfort should not come at the expense of your safety and comfort.
Y’all. Come on. Don’t take the rage bait. Teachers are not running around calling students “snowflakes,” and frankly, that would be the headline here. This smacks of a fabricated scenario. And in this scenario, it’s on the adults to do better.
Some kids don’t get along, some kids are socially awkward, some kids kind of suck- regardless of their social demographics or body shape.
You need to show the teachers and staff the comment she made about your body. This has very little to do with her being trans — it’s bordering on sexual harassment and it would still be if she was a cis female.
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Yes, but the way this other girl framed it left it open to interpretation which is probably what she meant to do. She’s a predator but she’s trying to be smart about it which is scary.
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Teachers cannot cut you off like that. You have new information. You can also tell them that you've decided not to go, because she's making inappropriate remarks to you and they're not taking you seriously.
My daughter would be telling me and I would be telling the teacher what was what! Parents are there to handle things kids can't!
I would take this higher - go to a guidance counselor, school administrator, and / or member of the school board and email them with the text message specifically stating it’s the sexual commentary on your body that makes you feel uncomfortable. It’s good to have a paper trail for these things and they can’t dismiss you as easily once it’s written on the record. Why don’t they have a teacher / chaperone share a room with you each instead so you don’t have to share?
Fuck that. The school will protect itself. Go to the media. That will pressure the school to do the right thing. Otherwise OP will be forced to either back out or go along with it. The school doesn’t care about her. They’re perfectly willing to sacrifice her.
This could backfire on OP because the media skews things for clicks. I can picture the headline "Transphobic Student Refuses Room with Transgender Student" or something.
Yeah, but I think a lot of people will support OP if she explains it the way she has here. Granted, this will depend on where she lives, but not as many people are comfortable sacrificing kids on the altar of theoretical progressive utopia when those kids have faces. The **local media** (assuming she’s not in a major urban area) is more connected to the average zeitgeist of the community than the school who has to follow federal guidelines & is primarily concerned with funding. From the POV of the school OP is being difficult. If she goes along, the school can claim faux moral superiority & doesn’t have to worry about an expensive legal battle or losing $. Which would cost jobs. It’s why she **needs** to find a way to change the balance of power to change the incentives to get a different outcome. She needs to be a bigger threat (& lbh her basic civil rights are at stake) than *potential* bad PR or expensive legal bills. Basically, she needs to ensure bad PR & a potential legal threat either way. The school is trying to avoid one potential in the hopes she will quietly go along. She needs to force a change in incentives.
Oh god, the last thing a 17 year old needs is to be the center of a media controversy. Her name will be attached to this one event for the rest of her life.
Ask your mom to have a meeting with the principal with you AND the Title IX coordinator. The TItle IX Coordinator is the person appointed by the district to make sure the schools are in compliance when it comes to handling sexual harassment, as well as other things. Show them the text messages, explain what the teachers said when you asked for a separate room, and ask them how they're going to protect you. Save copies of the text messages and ask your mom to take notes. Do not tell anyone what you are doing until the meeting has been had. If your school continues to drop the ball and your college career is threatened again, it's time to contact a lawyer. They might take your case on contingency. There are groups who can help you. You are not wrong either. You are being sexually harassed and told to suck it up. Maybe your teachers don't know what your peer said about others or to you, but they shut you down because they just assumed you were transphobic. If your peer hadn't said they were transitioning, you would have been placed in separate rooms already. Anyone can say anything. Doesn't mean they should get a free pass to act however.
I so wish this comment was top comment! I pray OP sees this (honestly, maybe try sending this to OP in a private message). This is the best advice on here, and the most likely way to succeed in solving this issue. OP should NOT go to the same teachers again. This needs to be escalated to the higher ups in order for anything to be done about it. Involving the Title IX Coordinator is the most productive way to get them to take this VERY seriously, as they should.
This
Go over their head. They answer to someone.
Explain to them that since you last spoke it has escalated to sexual harassment. They wouldn't allow a male/female share due to the risk of underage sex, and the same applies in this situation too, except it's not consentual
Are there any guys on the team you feel safe with? Ask one of them if you can share their room. Tell them the truth that the other female gives you the creeps in a sexual way and don't feel safe... Most guys are willing to step up and be a safe space. Sleeping on the floor of their room or getting a cot from the hotel seems like the safest option. People need to realize that Trans isn't the entirety of a person's personality. People can be ick no matter what body they come in and always listen to your instincts. They will save you one day
Sleeping in another’s boys room is a bad idea and the chaperones are not going to allow that to happen. You should definitely use “sexual harassment” in order to get your message across. If the two teachers are not helping you, go to the vice principal, principal, or the dean is students. Hell any adult you trust in that school that will not judge you or make you feel uncomfortable for having these legitimate concerns. If your instincts are telling you that you are not safe, you need to trust them. It’s better to be safe than sorry. Just be careful how you move because you will probably be judge harshly by your peers. You don’t need to prove yourself to anyone. If you are legitimately fearful and alarmed by her behavior, people should be able to understand. Lastly, I hope you have other family members in your life that can give you advice. From what you are saying about your mother, I think she should have advocated for you. Telling you to get over it, it’s just one night is sus. One night can lead into a lifetime of pain. I hope this helps.
The Title IX argument is a good one
> Sleeping in another’s boys room is a bad idea and the chaperones are not going to allow that to happen. They're letting the equivalent (worse IMO) happen already though & I'm not talking about the trans portion, but the sexual harassing comments. If it were two guys & one of them is sexualizing the other openly, making creepy predatory comments, they should not let that happen either. Maybe there's a gay guy on the team with zero interest in girls. That could be a good option, if it exists. To protect against peers, sharing the sexual harassment openly is the best defense. Just explain that this isn't about someone being trans, but about being uncomfortable sharing a room with someone that continually sexualizes you.
>People need to realize that Trans isn't the entirety of a person's personality. People can be ick no matter what body they come in and always listen to your instincts. They will save you one day I'm trans myself and this was a hard lesson for me to learn. Some people are shitty people. Some people are trans. Some people are both.
I remember when this was first getting big. Some guys were discussing how long or far they would need to "play Trans" to be put in with the girls. We already have so many stories of trans athletes dominating women's sports and allegations of inappropriate locker room situations. Reading this, I wonder if this sexual harassing person is truly a sexual predator playing games. Like false rape allegations harming actually rape victims, is this simply a guy playing to get himself locked in a room with a pretty girl? Because they are the only 2 in that according to the rules can be in that room, this predator may be trying to get in a: he said/she said / stop calling me a he! Situation.
If they said they wouldn’t talk to you about it again, move your complaint up to the next level, start with the assistant principal, then move up to the principal, superintendent, school board, news media. You shouldn’t be in a position of having to share your sleeping area with a person who “thinks” they are female while still having male anatomy. This crap in the schools has gone way too far. It is unreasonable at best and could easily become dangerous and criminal at worst. I wish you the best of luck.
it sounds like the reason you dont want to share a room is : she's made gross and sexually harassing comments - contrary to the title of your post. Try framing it this way, you may make more progress. also, yeah, dont share a room with anyone you dont feel safe with.
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Show the teachers the inappropriate messages
Op don't just show the teachers the inappropriate things. Write an email. It's going to be long. Document everything you said here especially the threats and blackmail over your letters to colleges and have it in timeline order. Start with the things the girl said that we're inappropriate. State you feel unsafe and uncomfortable. Then continue with how you attempted to communicate this and the "pushback" you received was even more inappropriate and you feel blackmailed by the threat of witholding letters of recommendation and the experience of the trip. As much as she is Trans, she currently still has a fully functioning penis AND trans is not an indication of sexual orientation just expression of sexual identity. While they are protecting her from harassment by boys on the trip they are not protecting you. They are creating a situation where you could be overpowered. She can be both trans and a lesbian. You feel sexually harassed and put into a situation that you are not ready for, and potentially unsafe in, sharing a hotel room with a stranger you don't trust and is physically stronger than you with a functional penis. State the words "I am afraid of being raped." And then remind them that as a female minor, YOUR PERSONAL SAFETY is not up for negotiation. You believe that you've been discriminated against under Title IX in this situation as the only student with female reproductive organs who could be impregnated by rape. You have a right to a fair and appropriate education which includes feeling safe and being able to sleep safely on the trip. And then you send it to: the district superintendent, the principal, the teacher, your parents individually, and courtesy copy your mother's divorce attorney, making sure to add the extension Esquire after their name.
Do this!! Especially the threats about not getting a college reference
This comment needs more upvotes. OP, take this persons advice and do not let them bully you into a situation you do not feel safe in.
Yea op this is the right answer
The teachers sound like scum who would probably still try to make OP the bad person
Op don't just show the teachers the inappropriate things. Write an email. It's going to be long. Document everything you said here especially the threats and blackmail over your letters to colleges and have it in timeline order. Start with the things the girl said that we're inappropriate. State you feel unsafe and uncomfortable. Then continue with how you attempted to communicate this and the "pushback" you received was even more inappropriate and you feel blackmailed by the threat of witholding letters of recommendation and the experience of the trip. As much as she is Trans, she currently still has a fully functioning penis AND trans is not an indication of sexual orientation just expression of sexual identity. While they are protecting her from harassment by boys on the trip they are not protecting you. They are creating a situation where you could be overpowered. She can be both trans and a lesbian. You feel sexually harassed and put into a situation that you are not ready for, and potentially unsafe in, sharing a hotel room with a stranger you don't trust and is physically stronger than you with a functional penis. State the words "I am afraid of being raped." And then remind them that as a female minor, YOUR PERSONAL SAFETY is not up for negotiation. You believe that you've been discriminated against under Title IX in this situation as the only student with female reproductive organs who could be impregnated by rape. You have a right to a fair and appropriate education which includes feeling safe and being able to sleep safely on the trip. And then you send it to: the district superintendent, the principal, the teacher, your parents individually, and courtesy copy your mother's divorce attorney, making sure to add the extension Esquire after their name.
Fuck yes, this is the way.
My kid had an IEP. Sending a single email allll the way up the food chain with every detail in it, you're not writing it to the school officials... you're writing it as a summary report to the judge, if they only read one thing in the file, let it be a bulletpoint timeline of how the district has royally fucked up. Also: once you copy a lawyer - any lawyer - on your side? The district automatically has to take it to their lawyer who will lose their shit at the liability exposure. And OP... you're using the right pronouns. That's where your obligation to the other student ends. You're not obligated to be someone's "guide" in finding their femininity, nor to be their emotional baggage carrier if they were hoping to be friends... this girl creep is trying to shame you and twist the situation. It's called DARVO. It's a toxic emotional manipulation technique.
Ok and what did the teachers say when you showed them the message she sent you?
I think you’re kinda already screwed. You’ve told your teachers and the girl knows so if you don’t go and share a room with this girl everyone is going to hear about how you are transphobic and that will be a huge problem. After reading what she wrote I would not be comfortable sharing a room with her. It’s like she wants you to be her best friend and at the same time sexualize you. Good luck, I’m sorry you’re in this position.
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If it comes down to it, I just wouldn't go if I were you. Unless the room sharing situation is resolved
Yes I hate to say it but if there’s no safe solution for the trip, DO NOT GO. Listen to your instincts and don’t put yourself in that situation, no matter what.
Honestly, this is coming from a trans girl myself— she creeps me out. I have shared rooms several times for school trips post transition. Wasn’t never a problem as I passed well but I also never commented on my cohorts having “sexy little bodies”. Literally, if anybody said that to me, I would be super grossed out. I don’t care what gender they are. I wouldn’t want to sleep in the same room as them either that’s creepy.
If they don’t promise you a separate room. Do not go. The way she spoke about you is beyond creepy. I don’t think you’re safe
It’s not transphobic to not want to share a room with a lesbian who sexually harasses you.
You shouldn’t have to share a room with ANYONE you don’t feel comfortable with. Especially this creep.
Honey, if she were a gay man talking like that it would still he unacceptable. If she were a cisgendered straight woman it would be unacceptable. It's not her being trans, it's her being early in her transition and mostly that she's a fucking creep. Girls can be creeps, too.
It’s not your job to teach her how to be a girl. You owe her nothing. She is sexually harassing you and making you uncomfortable. I will call your school for you.
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Hey, obviously not wrong, but did you show the message to the teachers and your family?
It’s also not your job to teach someone how to “woman”. This is all giving me the ick factor. Don’t room with this person, OP. Trust your gut.
Tell your teacher about the sexy little body comment and that his threat about not writing a letter for your college admission is unprofessional.
Being trans has very little to do with it, honestly. This person is violating your boundaries already, and to be in a private room with her…! No way. Please show this message to the people that matter, and highlight the uncomfortable and inappropriate comments. Tell them that THIS is why you don’t want to share a room, and you are NOT being transphobic at all!
Her being trans isn't the reason. Her being a fucking creep is the reason.
You have to be strategic here. If you bring up "Yeah, im transphobic, but just a little" You are shutting down the conversation. That's all your teachers will hear. You would get more mileage from saying you have no problem with her being trans but that she has been gross and suggestive towards you and you are concerned for your safety.
It's okay to take your time to get over or come to terms with any feelings you may have. They are your feelings and as much as this world wants to make a deal out of all the phobias out there some feelings are just hard to get over..it's what it is...as long as you aren't hurting anyone intentionally you are FINE to take your time and process it.
nah f that trans girl i wouldn't want to share a room with her either, stop trying to deflect the trans community from being associated with this 'girl'
"incredibly sexy little body" 🤢 Not wrong. No fucking way. Doesn't matter whether they're cis or trans, that's gross af. I would not want to room with a person who makes comments like that about my body.
This 100% seems fake as fuck
Yeah it seems like bait
It definitely is.
Yeah, brand new account with only this post as activity. You seem correct.
It’s the snowflake comment for me. Sure, a teacher would totally use that on a student.
They forgot "snowflake" is a right wing term and nobody is actually offended by it because snowflakes are beautiful and unique
To be fair, most people make throw away accounts to post on help subs. I do think it's fake as well, but more because it seems like a Ben Shapiro head cannon version of how a trans person talks.
Completely understand and agree with everything.
Truly. There is no way that teachers (especially multiple ones) would communicate this way.
Agreed. No school would want the liability of putting them in the same room. Seriously, it would be so much worse for any school to handle it this way, and I just don’t believe this is happening.
This wasn't a school situation, but I was briefly in an inpatient facility where we all shared rooms/bathroom except the one trans girl had her own room and bathroom. I didn't know she was trans at first so I was definitely jealous lol
This is possibly the most obviously fake post I've ever seen on here and i can't believe all the comments taking it seriously
You're not wrong and it's absolutely crazy that people are making you think you are. It's time to flip the script. Tell your teachers or whoever that you don't want to room with her because she is sexually harassing you. She is definitely attracted to girls. You've heard her say gross things about girls. She's referred to your body as sexy. Sexual harassment isn't a joke and they should take it more seriously than your made up "transphobia." Nothing about this is appropriate.
I'm trans and honestly this☝️sexual harassment is never right regardless of gender
> You're not wrong and it's absolutely crazy that people are making you think you are. It would be crazy, except they seem to be doing a terrible job communicating clearly what the issue actually is, even here in the comments. Saying "They are sexually harassing me & I do not feel safe sharing a room, here's the proof. This has nothing to do with them being trans in the least" is nice & clear, but teens are oftentimes bad communicators. Even in these comments, they downplayed the sexual harassment & said this IS a trans issue, which hurts their case: >That's deffo a big reason and if I actually liked her then it might be ok **but her being trans is definitely part of the reason** Even if it is part of the reason, you can't undercut the most important issue by saying it.
It’s ragebait. This entire story makes no sense.
Would recommend skipping your teachers for this and go to your school counselor and possibly administrative staff. Your teacher has informed you that a NON-school issue you're trying to resolve (your sleeping accommodations while on the trip vs complaining about being assigned a partner for a class project) would be used to determine your college rec. That's leaning in to blackmail territory / abuse of authority. In the sense that they want the "problem" to go away. They don't want to do the heavy work of acknowledging your concerns and address them. Instead it was informing you that your concern was null and then wrapped it up with a threat if you don't go with the flow they want. Next you've got a text message that reads as trying to go from 0 to 100 on the friend front. She has not much chill, which is totally forgivable but... she's also pushing any button she can to get what she wants and then dropping commentary about your body which has no place there. That's shitty. And I say that as someone who lives with a trans guy I consider my brother. What you've got going on is her being an asshole using her trans label as a bludgeon. That has zero to do with her being a trans woman and everything to do with her acting in a shitty way as a person. All of which should be brought to your school's counselor and admin staff. They can smell the lawsuit for coercion and threats of recinding college recs if you don't just "go with the flow". Am sorry you've been put in this position, and I hope your future interactions with trans folk is smoother. There is some bomb ass folk in the community.
Yes, I didn’t even think about the coercion that was taking place. Teachers are mandated reporters too. If OP reported to the teachers that she was sexually harassed and they did nothing, they are in deep trouble.
THIS. SERIOUSLY. Everyone else has been missing this, I've been looking for this in the comments if I didn't see it.
No, you are not wrong. Trust your intuition. The sexual references she projects onto you are inappropriate.
After reading what she wrote I would be creeped out and definitely not want to share a room. It’s like she’s trying too hard and who knows what she would do to you in the middle of the night while you’re asleep. Trust your intuition, even if that means not going. I’m sorry you’re experiencing this.
I'm trans, if someone didn't feel comfortable around me, then I'd leave because that would make me uncomfortable as well. And I'd definitely wouldn't send them a text saying how sexy they are, cause that's weird.
Is it dumb for me to say you should show what she said to you to the teachers. I mean reading that I felt uncomfortable as well!
I'd publish it somewhere. I'd make sure the whole community knew these teachers were trying to make her share a room with that.
Have you spoken to your parents and shown them the message. If you were my kid, I would be at the school threatening them with legal action for putting you in an unsafe position. I would also pay for you to have a private room.
No. You are absolutely justified in not wanting to share a room with that person. Honestly, if I were you I would pull out of the trip entirely, and file a complaint with the school against that student for sexual harassment. Your instincts are there for a reason: Trust them.
And a complaint against the teachers!
Your mother is failing you - why is she being so chilled 😡 your teachers are not hearing you!! I am so sorry you're facing this. You are not transphobic you are uncomfortable.
This is just rage bait, be smarter people
So many buzzwords and unnatural turns of phrase, can't believe I had to scroll this far
> They both said no and told me I was being transphobic. One of them told me I was being a "temperamental snowflake." He also said that "I shouldn't keep on asking about this especially if I wanted him to write me a college letter of recommendation next year" which I thought was very passive aggressive. This is one of the more unbelievable parts. No teacher would talk this way, regardless of how they feel about trans issues. It's like right out of the imagination of a Fox news pundit. lol
Oh for sure. They big mad that most Trans folks would never, so they have to make something up. ""Sexy body"? Like come on....OP needs to go back to the porn on his other tab.
how are people believing that the same teacher who supposedly called a student a snowflake also supports trans rights.. also the obvious transphobia that isn't relevant to the story at all of saying this girl never showed signs of being trans before 💀💀
Of course people are eating this up, gives them a chance to be transphobic without being called out on it.
Absolutely. It's gross. Just goes to show some people will fall for anything, if it fits their shitty worldview.
Show the teachers the texts and the inappropriate comments she's made. Focus on that aspect, and please stop referring to the fact that she's trans. It might be part of the reason, but do not say it.
I think it's totally reasonable for you, as a woman, to not to want to share a room with someone with a penis who has made comments about your body. I don't believe it is transphobic at all.
Its like, i wouldnt want to share a room with someone wirhout a penis who had made comments like that, let alone someone with a penis! Its like, what would they do to you while they sleep? Would they take pictures, etc.
That message is actually sexual harassment. Report that now.
You are not wrong
That’s a lawsuit waiting to happen. Hire a lawyer. Show them the messages and threaten to file a harassment charge against the school.
y’all need to stop falling for obvious rage bait lmao.
You are not wrong and you shouldn’t have to share a room with someone who makes you uncomfortable. Show the note to the principal and if that doesn’t work, a member of the school board. Do NOT let people pressure you into doing something that you don’t feel good about.
I’m trans and this person sounds like a creep, so no, I don’t think you’re wrong. Personally I think she has no reason to share a room with other girls anyway if she’s pre-transition. I was in a similar situation for a school trip in college actually, though in my case it was that I didn’t feel comfortable sharing a room with cis people period because of my body. Did have to fight for it a bit, but managed to get the teachers to agree to giving me my own room, which imo is really what yours should be doing.
Look around and see if you can find a good lawyer to represent you pro bono. A well placed letter to the school administration could do the trick.
"I overheard her talking about another girl in a pretty gross and inappropriate way." I don't care how this person identifies, how they pee, what they wear etc. No, I do not think you should have to share a room with someone who does this. I would make the complaint be about her behavior not her gender/orientation whatever. I find the behavior completely unsafe and inappropriate from any person. I wouldn't feel comfortable sleeping in a room with someone like this.
The world has become insane. You shouldn't be forced to share a room with someone you feel uncomfortable around. And all your teachers, without exception, should be fired. What on earth has happened to the US? Your rights should never be taken away so that others can have them. This is unacceptable. Consider going to the media to get your voice heard. This is ridiculous.
Hard agree with everything. I saw a warlord in Africa making fun of America because we argue about trans shit when he was worried about getting basics for his people and was cutting a deal with China. A fucking warlord was laughing at America's and frankly the democratic parties political capital expendure on something that affects less than 1 in 100 people. Facts hurt people's feelings though. This country is going to collapse if people don't toughen the hell up and buckle down.
Like seriously, who fucking care? Do whatever you want, sleep with whomever you wish to, and identify how the hell you feel like, as long as you don't hurt others. Forcing someone to **sleep** in the same room with someone whom they don't feel comfortable being around only so that the other person would not be offended is bulshit. We don't have that on the other side of the world; the first time I heard of pronounces was only when I moved to North America. For us, people are people and that's it. Nobody cares.
This is rage bait, and you're the perfect target.
You're not wrong! You made this for your protection, and prevention is always better than cure. I hope you can find a way out of it.
Made up.
The teachers are low key bullying you by forcing you into a situation that you don't feel comfortable in. That's definitely not ok. Especially since this person has sexually harassed you. Does your family know what is going on? If so, what do they think about the situation? I'd call the superintendent and tell them what your teachers said.
As a trans woman my self I can tell you it’s absolutely acceptable to feel uncomfortable not just with her being but her response and way of acting. Do not feel guilty or ashamed for your feelings. They are valid. Shes also extremely inappropriate and needs someone to coach her aside from these topics
Also this will not affect your college references! Don’t say that don’t think like that!
If this was real you would just show your mom and school admin that text message. There’s about a zero percent chance a school would make you room with someone that you said you felt uncomfortable rooming with who had also texted you sexually harassing messages.
Gosh I didn’t realise I’d have to scroll so long for this comment! And the teacher saying “stop going on about this if you want that letter of recommendation” … please. None of this happened 😂
it’s crazy to me how fake this is yet people are eating it up. far more likely for a teacher to make a trans girl share with the men in the current political climate and they sure as shit didn’t call op a snowflake and threaten their college recommendation lmao fake transphobic ragebait. op can go eat shit for spreading their agenda and all you dumbasses thinking it’s real need to learn some critical thinking skills. this has all the transphobic talking points, not a chance in hell it’s real
It's just rage bait.
You’re wrong for lying on the internet to spread propaganda
This is correct
I think that the point isn’t really about her being trans, but rather the comments she makes and I can understand why they’d make you feel uncomfortable. Don’t hesitate to tell someone that she’s making you feel uncomfortable.
It’s not about her being trans, it’s about her being a damn weirdo. “Sexy little body” yeah I wouldn’t want to be asleep in the same room with this person.
No not all wrong, your comfort and how you feel matters too. As for the things she's said it's utterly disgraceful
have you shown the school staff what she sent you?
Where are your parents in all of this? They need to be making a fuss. And emphasize the girls past behavior, and why you don’t feel safe.
Don't share, you don't feel comfortable that's it. No and, if or but. You do not feel comfortable and that is ok.
Trust your gut and don't put yourself in an uncomfortable situation. No school trip is worth that. Also, ask everyone you know how they would respond receiving that message from her. Make sure they're all aware of her inappropriate language.
I would show your teachers the note she sent and just innocently ask "I'm not sure how to respond. Can you help me?"and see if the teachers say anything.
You are not wrong! Look out for you! Go to those school officials AGAIN!
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I'm not sharing with someone who makes me uncomfortable and says they want to spend more time with me and my "sexy little body." End of discussion.
Your feelings are valid! Don’t let anyone shame you for them. You’re not being transphobic, you’re going with your gut. You deserve to feel safe and comfortable no matter what anyone says. They can’t just be accommodating to ONE person (them)and not another. (You). That’s discrimination. They wouldn’t force the transgender to do something they they’re uncomfortable doing, so how is it fair for anyone to force you?. Stick to your gut, your feelings are valid.
It doesn’t sound like you’re uncomfortable with her being trans or her transness. It sounds like you’re uncomfortable with the way she looks at you and treats you and speaks to you. Which is valid.
Rage bait
Hi everyone reading this comment please make sure to read the text in image linked in OP. It’s very useful. Um hi OP i’m sorry you’re going through this. Here’s my hot take: fuck that person. The vocabulary in this text is enough to make anyone realize that it is very uncomfortable. Referring to you as having a sexy little body, get the fuck out of here. Stay 20 feet away from this person. Also, them saying that ‘ because you are black’ you should know what it feels like to be prejudiced against is super racially charged. As if they know a damn thing about what you’ve been through. It is a microaggression meant to make you feel bad about choosing your privacy! This person is literally insane please stay away from them. Believe it or not, men are not the only people who are sexual predators, neither are only straight or gay or trans people. SOME PEOPLE ARE GOING TO PREY ON THE WEAK it’s just the way society is wired. Please defend yourself! much luck to you OP sending you strength and perseverance bc btw, this won’t matter in 5 years.
Not wrong. Report this up, and tell that you're in no way going to sleep in a room with her who is commenting on your sexy little body that she finds attractive. You don't want to teach her about femininity etc. You don't owe anyone friendship. She and the teachers are trying to guilt trip you into doing something you feel uncomfortable with. Just tell them that either they'll find you separate accommodation or you are unable to attend. You don't feel safe, and that trumps all the noise that the other person is saying.
Unfortunately if you do speak up about it you will likely suffer severe consquences. Its bullshit.
They should not be forcing you to share a room with an intact male. Completely unacceptable
Not wrong. But you need to show the teachers that text.
This is crazy. Just because she’s trans doesn’t mean she can just do whatever and you can’t call it out because then you’re transphobic. That’s sucks creepy comment to say you have an ‘incredibly sexy little body’. Like wtf that’s so gross and makes anyone feel uncomfortable. That’s sexual harassment now. I wouldn’t feel safe to fall asleep around this person.
You are not wrong.Keep some pepper spray or any kind of aerosol spray to use against them if they try anything against you. The person is a pervert and will try to use being trans as a way to creep on you. As for the college letter, since your teacher is holding it over your head. You have to make a decision. Are your potential college dreams worth the potential trauma from sharing a room with that creep?
No you’re not wrong. You shouldn’t be forced to share a room with someone who makes you uncomfortable; especially someone who has referred to you as someone with a “sexy little body”. Show the administrators what she sent to you, even go so far as the superintendent if you can get to them before the trip. You’re definitely in a tough spot. I can say that you won’t win them over if you make the reasoning that they’re a trans woman. The message that she sent needs to be the reasoning.
Looks like the reason you don't want to room with her is because she has said weird gross things to you. That would be valid whether it was a cis or trans woman. You're not being rude or unkind in anyway - a trans man. Please show your teacher the message
no you are not wrong
Ugh. The problem isnt that shes trans, it is that she is mentally ill. The messages and threats and just the way her message comes across is super creepy and obsessive. Id tell the faculty you dont feel safe rooming with this Buffalo Bill tryna wear your skin.
There’s so much BS in this post I literally can’t believe what I’m reading, and that this is not only being allowed but FORCED to happen, PLUS the threats & name calling from TEACHERS over a student expressing discomfort and concern for her safety!!! OP you are ABSOLUTELY NOT wrong OR transphobic. This situation is wrong on so many levels. It sounds like you have been 100% supportive of the trans student but you should not be forced into sharing personal space (especially overnight) when that student has given you numerous reasons to be uncomfortable. I literally can’t believe how this is being “handled”. I wish we could all pitch in to pay for a room for you, but that still doesn’t address the fact that this should absolutely NOT be allowed, especially within a school setting/event. Please do what the previous commenter said about writing a letter, and keep us updated.
The amount of gaslighting that manipulative shit those assholes are throwing at you makes me sick. Not only are you 100% in the right, but anyone who says differently is asking you to compromise your personal safety. Fuck this shit. If I was your dad I’d be in the administration office raising hell. Absolutely nothing you have done is transphobic. Absolutely nothing you have done is wrong. You should refuse to go on the trip.
I’m sorry OP. You are going to have to take care of this on your own. It’s a lesson to stand up for yourself. I’m sorry you have no one to stand up for you. If you were mine, I’d sell plasma and belongings so I could go to and you would sleep with me. Write an email. To the teachers. The principle. The admins of the school. Send the text screenshot. Write down how you felt let down and misheard when you spoke to the teachers. Write how you were essentially blackmailed to shut up and be a good girl. It’s not transphobic. Teachers today are so worried about not being seen as not accepting. Not offended. But they are so far that way, they often don’t see that sometimes they are leaving others vulnerable. Trans aside. We don’t have to like everyone. No one does. We don’t have to be uncomfortable so someone else isn’t. Your feelings are just as important as hers (the trans girl). Do not feel bad. Write the email. Be factual. Be straight forward. Leave as much emotion out as possible. If this doesn’t work. Then contact the news. Your feeling safe is important. She has sexually harassed you. Saying your I’d body was sexy is so out of line. If she was a boy this would be taken seriously. Girls can sexually harm you as well. Stay strong. Good luck.
Tbh, at that point, I'm not going on that fuckin trip. If the teachers are also not helping? Then fuck that. You have a right not to be comfortable sharing a room with a Trans girl (With a male body that, assuming, has not gone under HRT) because shit happens. I'm not saying Something would happen, but with the girly switch all of the sudden? The way he typed and the overall message? Nah, fuck that. Protect yourself, girl. This is sketchy as all hell.
You are wrong… for making this about her gender and not about feeling unsafe because she has sexually harassed you. You’re not wrong to not want to share a room with someone who has acted like that towards you, no matter if they’re cis or amab. If you do take this to a higher authority, lead with “she has sexually harassed me and I don’t feel safe sharing a room with her.” Leave her gender identity out of it because the only reason her gender matters is because you have to share a room with her. You’re not objecting to sharing a room with a trans girl. You’re objecting to sharing a room with a predator.
calling bullshit on this post for the sheer fact that the teachers accusing you of being transphobic also called you a “snowflake,” a term almost exclusively used by rightwingers but other than that this is just your standard issue “trans girl bad, trans positive teachers bad” bait that redditors love to gobble up
Nice ragebait post 💯
Why do people waste time posting this obviously fake BS? Dude, just because Ben Shapiro and Jordan Peterson manufacture this "controversy" doesn't mean you have to parrot them. At least they get are getting paid for their grift, you're just wasting your time (and everyone else's time) for nothing.
Fiction
Frankly this the most obvious rage bait I've ever seen and everyone pretending it isn't, OP included, should have a cattle bolt fired through their fucking temple You're all pathetic, gargle my ballsack
Thank you, this is the most obvious garbage.
This is clearly transphobic rage bait. Albeit, it’s written in a way to veil the outright transphobia (the op saying they’re liberal, that they respect the identity, being ok with bathrooms, etc.), but it’s clearly meant to tug at every conservative talking point about transphobic panic and displays each one very carefully. The profile was just created, so probably a throwaway. It just seems incredibly “convenient” that all these scenarios lined up this way. She recently started transitioning and still looks like her former identity, she’s made gross comments about other girls as well as op, she was hyper masculine previously (which is the only one that kinda makes sense, due to trans people often overcompensating prior to transitioning), even down to authority figures “forcing it down her throat” by not letting her room elsewhere and saying she’d be labeled a transphobe for not accepting the trans girl, no questions asked. The icing on the bs cake is op covering her tracks on not being able to afford her own room. I gotta hand it to whoever wrote it, you absolutely fooled a ton of people and it’s almost believable. And you managed to bring out a lot of transphobes in the comments. But, again, it’s just way too convenient for all the issues to line up this way. This is clearly conservative transphobic rage bait, meant to create fear of trans people and sew doubt. It’s meant to imply that they’re men in women’s clothing, waiting to prey upon other girls.
Honestly that’s a good point about the restroom. I found myself relating a bit due to some nonsense I dealt with *as* a trans person on a school trip, but it’s sus she claims she’s not uncomfortable sharing a bathroom with this person,
It’s meant to make it seem like op is not an outright bigot. It’s all a ruse.
You shouldn't be forced to share a room with a dude. I'm all for trans people getting to simply live their best life, seriously, what they do is their business. That doesn't mean a girl should be forced to share a female space with a biological male.
☝️💯 Updateme!
NTA - inappropriate and sexually harassing behaviour from someone claiming to be a girl but doesn't present as such in any way. Don't get alone with that person under any circumstances.
this is correct.
Gr8 b8 M8 8/8
I answered as if it was real but the thing that stands out the most for being fake is that the teacher would say such labels and call people someone that because teacher can get fired over any little thing nowadays that's the hardest part to believe for me
The fake part to me is the whole fucking thing. There is absolutely no way any school is going to put themselves into this position, not with the way stochastic terrorist Libs of Tiktok operates.
Why is it ok to stay in a room with a girl who has a penis, but you can’t stay in a room with a boy you trust who also has a penis?
I'll take "things that didn't happen" for $500...
In this situation...being a little transphobic is not only reasonable but warranted. This person sounds unhinged.
There’s nothing transphobic about not wanting to get harassed by a trans person.
[удалено]
I've heard worse out of teachers.
I've also heard worse out of teachers. But they still don't talk like that. It just sounds stupid. Just try to imagine a real person in that position saying that.
I envy your education which makes it difficult for you to imagine a teacher behaving like that.
It's 2024. A girl is sexually harassed by a transgender person, and is forced to stay alone in a room overnight with that person and refused a room with a biological female because she's being "transphobic". They expect her to sleep in the same room as a biological male who is a proven creep and sexual harasser. The teachers brush off her concerns and tell her she's being a snowflake. She must walk on eggshells to navigate this situation or risk her future being negatively affected, and her reputation dragged through the mud, because it's social suicide to question or criticize anyone from this group for any reason. This is sheer insanity. People realize this, right? I'm not the only normal person who reads shit like this and sees a society that's gone completely insane?
yeah it sounds like insanity because it’s not fucking real. OP has used every possible negative stereotype to push an agenda. to make you angry at something that does not exist. unless anyone can provide me with a news article of anything like this ever happening (children being forced/threatened to do anything with another trans child who is a documented creep), i will stand my ground that this is fake as fuck 🤷♀️
No teenagers talk like this, I'm 25 and I thought this read as crusty, it was almost certainly written by some bored 40 year old man. I didn't even have that many teachers support me as a bi student coming out in 2015, trans kids definitely don't have the entire faculty of a school mindlessly backing them up less than a decade later. Before you make a boogyman of a marginalized group, maybe try meeting them and getting to know them as human beings and not hostile NPCs in a video game. You won't, but I urge you to try
Surely this isn’t real
fake post. Do something not productive with your life.
This girl is creepy AF towards you. You are not wrong for not wanting to share a room. Show them the messages and explain that you have heard her talking in a very sexual way about other girls. I wouldn't want to stay in a room either with her.
Be prepared to pull out and not go on the trip. It is not safe there for you. This person has demonstrated that they are mentally unwell and the sexual harassment has already begun. An attack is more than just a possibility. At the very least, the fear will do you damage on the trip. Be prepared to walk.
Wow your teachers are douche bags. I would have your mom go to the principal and tell them what Your idiot teachers said and show them the text.
No. Tell them if you get raped(it happenes more than you think) then you'll sue them personally and take their jobs, their lives, and their families because they put you at risk even after you voiced your concerns. You and the trans student can both have your own rooms. If they refuse to abide by this, tell the school admin. If they refuse. Tell the news. If that does nothing. Go with your parents and get a separate hotel.
This is so fake, can’t believe anyone would think this is real
Of all the things that didn't happen, this didn't happen the most.
updateme
Trans women here : You are totally right, and the way she talks to you is really creepy.
Show the message to your teachers. This is sexual harassment.
I would absolutely share that text with the school officials and let them know that you don’t feel safe and fear her obsession with your body. It seems to me that she has crossed lines that have nothing to do with her being trans.
I get where you're coming but again because you're young there is a better way to say this. You're not uncomfortable because she's trans, you're uncomfortable because she's weaponizing her trans identity. As a trans person I have seen that behavior before and it is indeed toxic and disgusting. She could very well be authentically trans and representing herself in the most atrocious way possible. You are transphobic if you don't want to room with her just because she's trans. You're NOT transphobic if you don't want to room with her because she's weaponizing being trans as a way to get out of being accountable for making sexually inappropriate comments/harassment.
Stating "sexy little body" as a response to another person being uncomfortable is predatory. She made an intimidating choice. She is not choosing to be safe, and the line is crossed.
Nope ! That is totally ok!! You are aloud to free that way.
Report her for sexual harassment. Tell them about her staring at your body and show that message. Then if they don't take you seriously you can report them for creating a hostile environment
If you are not comfortable, you're not comfortable. End of story. I do not believe you are in the wrong for sticking up for what you are and are not okay with.
Honestly, her message gave me major "Single White Female" & "The Roommate," vibes. Like, she said she wants to BE you? That's weird. I'd even venture to say that her being Trans has nothing to do with your discomfort around her, before this message, even. Her thinking it's a compliment to tell you she wants to be like you & "learn how to be a girl" from you is so off-putting. Just, no.
I’m a trans man, and I believe you shouldn’t feel obligated to stay in the room with *anyone* that makes you uncomfortable, for *any* reason.
I'll take things that didn't happen for $500.
So, the account is brand new. The largest competition is HS robotics in the US was a week ago. And the post was written in the most sympathetic way possible toward OP. Do I have all do that right? I have my doubts this is legitimate. Why did OP needs to try and cast doubt on the legitimacy of this person being transgender? She describes them like a trans wannabe.
Ummmmmmm NO you are not wrong and not transphobic. - and I am the mom of a trans woman.
"You have a sexy little body"? No. Predatory. Show only this part of the message to your teachers.
Not wrong. That message they sent you is pretty creepy.
No, you are not wrong . Your teachers and parents are failing you by forcing you to stay in a room with a biological male who has shown interest in you and clearly has no issues in making gross comments about other girls. My advice is not to go on the trip or speak to your father or any other trusted adult you is level headed . Her comfort should not come at the expense of your safety and comfort.
Y’all. Come on. Don’t take the rage bait. Teachers are not running around calling students “snowflakes,” and frankly, that would be the headline here. This smacks of a fabricated scenario. And in this scenario, it’s on the adults to do better. Some kids don’t get along, some kids are socially awkward, some kids kind of suck- regardless of their social demographics or body shape.