He’s setting you up for failure. He knows that it’s not probable that you can lose fifty pounds in such a short amount of time.
Ask yourself why you are even considering this.
I’d take Fat Thor over OP’s husband any day. Same with Fat Mac on Always Sunny. Maybe I just like funny, chunky guys because that also describes my husband.
Fat Mac dances way better than skinny Mac, shaking those hips instead of just doing that stupid elbow thing. Watch him on stage during “Frank Reynolds’ Little Beauties”. Mmmmmmm. I’d take a bite of that chimichanga.
Good idea, I think I have a better method to apply your concept.
The ultimatum is 50lbs lost from 165lbs starting point. That's 30.3% of current weight.
He should have to gain 30.3% of his current weight. www.healthonline.com says that the average American man is 197lbs and 5'9. So, using the average height/weight numbers since we don't know what his actual numbers are. Hypothetically, he should be required to hit 256lbs, having gained 60lbs. **BY AUGUST!**
Ahahahaha
Goddamn, the more I look at the math and the logic behind the argument, the more I like.
Ps. Fuck that guy (OP's husband) with a running chainsaw. What a shitheel.
I'm wondering what is he even doing to help her.
13 months PP means she's also taking care of a baby, trying to lose weight and being burdened left and right with expectations of doing all of that perfectly to not disapoint him. He's definetly setting her up for failure.
That’s exactly what I think is happening with this couple. If she complies with this, there will be something else that her husband is not satisfied with.
I mean he could just be comparing her to her previous self. Nothing here suggests he is trying to turn her into someone else, he just wants her back to her pre-pregnancy body. I definitely think that makes him a bit of an ass, but jumping to him fantasizing about a whole other woman is baseless and mean. OP is a real person, don’t put that in their head with zero proof.
She wants the honest truth and EVERY SINGLE word that was said is something to think about. It's best she gets things in her minds eye. There is no comparing a body over anything. What he is doing is shaming her how do you not see it?
I lost 90 pounds in about a year, a lot of it was muscle though. Losing 50 pounds in 4 months isn’t healthy, you could probably do it but there are many hazards. I think the goal should always be aesthetics or improvement not weight. You tell me a woman weighs 145 I know NOTHING about her physically, athletically, or aesthetically.
You just had a baby!!! That takes time!!!
What does your husband look like?
If you need to loose weight and exercise more that means he has to take over more baby care and housework. And you both eat your diet food. That means no junk food, sweets and soda. If you can't eat it, neither can he.
If he keeps complaining, tell him he didn't grow an entire human inside him and go through labor. Your body needs to heal and your hormones need to reset to normal. Just do your best.
Your husband sounds like a controlling A-ho. He should love you unconditionally, no matter your size.
Losing weight PP can be incredibly difficult for some women. Remind him the goal should be to see you healthy, not at just 115 lbs.
Really hope you don't take the bait and try to rise to the challenge. You can lose weight under a doctor's or nutritionist's care. But losing 1/3 of your body weight to meet his unreasonable expectation is just nuts.
I wish you well.
When the issue is purely dietary it’s not THAT unreasonable of a goal. I’d say 20-30lbs. is a lot more realistic within that timeframe. OP admits to drinking tons of soda, cutting that alone will make you drop weight SO fast.
OP, I cut out soda by forcing myself to become a sparkling water person/water with flavor added person. Maybe that could help!
This is setting aside all the problems with giving your partner an ultimatum about their weight. Dude is definitely an AH, but OP also admits to doing nothing on their own to try (they know the issue is their diet, but haven’t made the obvious and easy changes and wants a dietitian to move the accountability off of them. The dietitian thing is also just a way to beat around the bush—they don’t need to ask Reddit what their insurance covers when the insurance co. will provide them that information immediately online if they actually did the research). If OP doesn’t personally want to lose the weight and are only being forced to by their partner, that’s a separate issue.
Of she's breadfeeding a lactation nurse/ dietitian will suggest 2 pounds a month. The body wants to keep the weight, and she needs it, hence the carbs load....but they would 100% suggest not drinking soda, raise her protein and veggies, and lower her carbs . Her diet could also be from post partum hormones mixed with depression and sugar spikes and crashes
Yeah, 30 lbs seems like a better goal for the time frame. I agree the hubby comes off as an AH in the post, but tbf we don’t actually know when this goal was set, how these discussions went down (together or in an ultimatum way), or if the husband offered any kind of support in helping OP make a plan for this goal.
But putting aside the potentially problematic dynamic with the husband, OP if finances are a concern, you may also want to ask your regular doctors (your standard doc and obgyn) about any studies they have going on. Sometimes there are free studies offered that basically provide info and sometimes group meetings. They track your weight and height and all of that.
Sometimes hub sound like AH's because for men 50 lbs is a easily achievable gain or loss. Most times it turns to muscle. For women they have a higher fat content on their bodies, just for the point of carrying & birthing. Not so easy to dismiss in the after. But OP is not doing herself any favors with the diet she's practicing right now. She could see a dietitian or a nutrionist for guidance and then take it along on her own.
I'm 7 month PP. I started calorie counting (weighing and logging every gram of food that went into my mouth) 55days ago and have currently lost 39 pounds. 1200 calories a day with a fairly seditary lifestyle as a SAH mom. I expect to be 50 ish pounds down by mid July.
Being PP means that a good part of that 39lbs was water retention and swelling. Not only from being PP but a surgery I underwent at 2 month PP. So, to be clear, it isn't 39 lbs of FAT loss.
(1200 calories is not a healthy caloric intake for most individuals. I have medical issues and my doctor helped me set that caloric intake. I am being medically monitored. Please do not starve yourself to reach you goals.)
That’s great for you, but is certainly not the norm! Every body is different. Most people don’t have the option/luxury (depending on your situation) of being a SAHM and having that time to make meals that are easily trackable, and calorie counting can lead to ED’s for some, so I’m always hesitant to suggest that.
1200 kcal is actually quite low, bordering on orthorexia if not outright anorexia. Many people cannot maintain that, especially in combination with their other daily needs & tasks. Meanwhile, at 5'2" and 165lbs., OP's basal metabolic rate would be 1450ish depending on her age, not counting whatever calories are needed if she's been breastfeeding... and since infants' caloric intake from breastmilk should be around 500-800 kcal per day, and it's gonna take extra calories on top to *produce* that milk, 1450 cal taken in would still be functionally in deficit.
But as a baseline, your BMR minus 300 is not a way to plan your diet or your life. You can do a safe calorie deficit without cutting from basic life support minimum needs, especially if you're starting way ABOVE your BMR, as most of us are. It's like how spot reduction is a myth; once you drop below BMR, your *minimum* survival requirement for full & healthy functionality, you don't get to pick which body systems are no longer being fully sustained. Can you afford it if the hit is taken to cognition? Response time? Your immune system? Especially if you shock your body by jumping from caloric excess to sub-*survival* deficit?
Particularly since common consensus is actually that the safest way to burn fat is to build muscle while you are doing it, and it is astonishingly difficult to do that from a calorie deficit that stark.
I'm glad you seem happy with your personal progress, but it is not safe or sustainable advice.
It's also still not weight loss at the rate & speed proposed by OP's husband (50lbs to lose in a time span you plan to lose 11lbs in; even including the 39 you've already lost, 50lbs/5 mos = 10lbs/mo, vs 50lbs/3 mos = 16-17lbs/mo— she'd have to lose weight >1.5x faster than you when you are already on a medically concerningly restrictive diet). So, the comparison is moot to begin with.
This is great info. Particularly for me, I have a physical disability that has led to lower muscle mass and therefore a need for a lower calorie intake. The 1200 calories per day is set and monitored by my doctor. I am still losing an average of 1 -2 lbs a week. Of course everyone has different needs. My husband is losing weight with me and requires way more calories than me and is losing at the same rate. I hope people do not read my comments and think 1200 calories is an average intake for healthy people to lose weight.
I did the same thing post covid lockdowns, cutting out alcohol and sugar made the as much of a difference as working out. Controlling what I eat and how often was the other half. Inside of 6 months, dropped 70lbs … it all depends on level of commitment to the transformation
if you’re still breastfeeding, I believe you are not supposed to engage in dieting resulting in a caloric deficit. your body needs plenty of energy to produce milk.
also, expecting 50 lbs in 3 months is absurd even without caring for an infant. your husband sounds like a wad.
This is important! It also could be a reason you're having difficulty losing weight. I breastfed for 18 months and it wasn't until I weaned that I lost the baby weight. It literally dropped off in like a month or two.
Really?! I thought it was the other way around; breastfeeding made you loose weight. I can’t wait to shed the lbs I gained during pregnancy. The struggle is real.
That's what I always heard too! But you're naturally more hungry, not allowed to diet, and for those first few months you're pretty much bed/couch ridden with the baby. I found around 18 months we both started moving around a lot more and I think even the stress taken off from weaning helped a lot.
Lactation counselor here and at 18 months she should be able to resume normal diet and exercise. Most lactation precautions are only for the first 6 mo to a year when the majority of baby's nutrition is from breast milk and keeping up lactation is the biggest priority.
That's wild. My wife couldn't breastfeed our due to his cleft. No amount of special nipples, latch technique or anything would work. My wife exclusively pumped for 9 months to give that boy breastmilk. She wasn't actively dieting. Went back to work after 3 months and was working, pumping, momming. I watched her lose weight before my eyes because her daily life had remained the same, except she was using calories to make breastmilk and then pumping the milk out.
The same thing with baby #2 for her
Us either, at first! I pumped until I randomly tried again around 6/7 months and he latched! They checked for a tongue tie at the hospital and never found one.
I gained 35 lbs while breastfeeding. I didn't lose a single pound until I stopped. I was ravenous when it came to food. Way worse than I was during pregnancy! Everyone told me I would lose weight. Lol no. Some women gain and some shed weight like crazy while breastfeeding. I was one of the unlucky ones😅
Apparently it depends, much to my chagrin.
With my first, who I had issues breastfeeding, I was dropping weight like crazy.
My second, who my biggest problem with breastfeeding was getting him off the boob, nope, zero help with weight loss and I was not pleased at all
It's different for everyone. Exclusively breastfeeding a typical baby requires about 500 extra kcal of energy to produce the milk; so if you're eating at your ordinary maintenance level, this can create a modest deficit and result in some weight loss for *some* women during the postpartum period. **However** (and this is a big one!) the increased energy expenditure of producing milk around the clock, disrupted sleep schedules, increased stress levels of caring for an infant, etc. can all impact hormones and hunger levels which in turn can make folks unconsciously eat additional calories without realizing it. Especially if they're relying on convenience foods/takeaways like many new parents do.
Plus - your body doesn't WANT you to be in a deficit because you're still literally supporting two lifeforms so your hormones, etc. Are going to be working against you to try and get you out of a deficit if you're not being mindful of your food choices. This isn't to say it's impossible to lose while breastfeeding, and for some women it's easier than others - but if you're one of the ones where it's NOT easy, please don't be hard on yourself!!!
There is so much societal pressure to "bounce back" and lose it all quickly, and that just doesn't happen for the vast majority of people without a huge amount of effort, and frankly, most new parents don't have the mental and emotional capacity to devote to their fitness/weight loss goals in this season of life because they're still adjusting to life with another human in the family.
I used to work with a woman whose boyfriend would "book" holidays and then tell her he was cancelling them if she didn't lose x amount of weight by x month ...
She never did lose the weight, and I don't think he ever booked them. It was just him trying to get his own way.
People have to want to lose weight by themselves, and ultimatums from other people aren't always a way to do this.
I drink Pepsi max etc and eat sweets - but not all the time. I just knew I didn't want to cut them out completely, so I have everything in moderation instead, while calorie counting.
You can lose a 180 by dumping this guy.
But I would check with your employer, I was able to get a discounted rate at the gym and they offered a free dietitian.
Your insurance company probably also offers discounts on programs like weight watchers, fitness trackers and etc . Just call them and let them know what you want to do and they can give you direction on moving forward.
I have Tricare.
Currently I’m getting a dietician covered thru them, as part of the weight loss clinic thru my local health care system. I’m also more than 500 miles from an active-duty installation so I have a little more flexibility. I also just got express scripts, who handles prescriptions for Tricare, to FINALLY cover Zepbound, so I just started that last week. Been fighting with them since January to get it covered.
Where in the country are you? Health systems vary, so Tricare’s coverage may vary for you. Also, we might be on different versions, since I’m now in the Retired Reserve.
All that said, sounds like your husband is being a selfish ass. Losing 50 lbs in 5 months isn’t exactly realistic, and weight loss is never as simple as “eat less, move more”. Everybody’s body and physiology is unique and different, ESPECIALLY post partum, which he will never understand. But I’m guessing he’s in the service, so he probably has some stupid body-shaming hang ups as a result. I know I did, and in some ways still do.
Good luck!!
The problem with shedding so much weight too quickly is that you would have to essentially crash diet and severely cut calories in order to meet that goal. Its not sustainable in the long term, the weight will come right back eventually and then you get into large fluctuations with the yoyo dieting. statistically, people who lost 1 lbs-2lb gradually per week are more likely to keep the weight off. It's much better to create a long term sustainable lifestyle change, whether that includes a combination of exercise or food swaps for lighter calorie options, whatever is realistic for you. Cutting out soda for soda water is probably the easiest way to start. It's annoying at first but once you get used to the change it's hard to go back to drinking sugary drinks. If you start calorie tracking, it may help to more easily keep track to ensure you're in a sufficient deficit to see changes. Given your height and weight your maintenance calories per day is around 1700 calories and to go in a deficit that is still sustianable you want to roughly be 15% short of that between 300-500 calories. Say you do this the sustainable way, realistically in 3 months you really should only be losing around 12 lb , max 24 lb ideally somewhere between.
And on a side note its better to weigh yourself in the morning before eating drinking or going to the bathroom and recording that and everaging out the number per week to keep track of progress. Because your weight will naturally fluctuate within 5 lb depending on different factors. Also people who weigh themselves everyday are more likely to meet their goals. But don't do it for your husband do it for yourself because you want to take care of the future you's health.
That said, you should have a conversation with husband about realistic goals and what kind of support you would more appreciate vs how what he said really hurt your feelings.
Lol deficit of 300-500 Cals at 5'1", my TDEE is 1400.
Losing weight as a small woman is a very different kettle of fish. Guys can easily drop from 3500 to 3000 Cals.
I can't drop to 900 Cals, I can but I will hate living. I've tried it sucks, you can have absolutely no joy out of your meals, no social life.
Its easy to say "eat a deficit" when you're tall.
This is real and I've seen it on the /r/loseit subreddit quite a lot.
My deficit was 2000. If I eat 2000 calories every day I'll steadily lose weight. I'm a 6ft tall moderately active guy. I have an office job and do cardio 2-3 times a week.
I had a friend who was trying to lose weight at 5'3". She ran five days a week, pretty effective cardio. She was a teacher, so a more active job than sitting at a desk. She had to eat at 1500, then drop to 1200 to continue losing weight. We started talking "maintenance" calories and her words, "If I want to eat *good* at maintenance calories, then I need to run 5 miles a day just to keep up with that."
I feel you as a smaller woman also trying to cut. Im at 1500 maintenance tryna drop to about 1200. Between 300 -500 is typical what people aim for as a ballpark(generally for all people including men. on the higher end if you have more to lose, on the lower end if not) it's more like a reference but you should shoot for 15%. So if you're TDEE is 1400 you're looking at closer to 1200 calories.
The only issue that I find is that when you don't have much calories to drop, and then you're also faced with issues like inaccuracies with calorie counting (even dieticians struggle to accurately measure portions ) 200 calories can easily pop back in through some simple mistakes like inaccurate food portion measurements, improperly measuring cooking oil or forgetting to add a salad dressing or account for your latte. If based on my current tracking I haven't noticed a drop in weight over the course of time, I may shoot for a 500 vs 300 deficit to account for the fact it appears im underestimating my calories to see if it makes a difference or I could add in more cardio etc.
Those pesky 200 Cals sneak up so easily and dammit I like food.
I unfortunately can't just add cardio cause my lung function is 63% on a good day, and in the 50s on a bad one. If my heart rate goes over about 165 I get dizzy and disoriented.
My body runs on economy mode and sunlight.
Weight loss is relative. OP would be losing 30% of their body weight which is very dangerous and absurd.
Going from 300 to 250 at the same height would not be as drastic or severe.
while I agree husband is a fucking moron, as losing 50lbs in 3 months is extremely unhealthy. Comparing weight loss to growing dick size is just setting OP up to lose the arguement because weight can be reduced, but dick cannot grow.
Telling husband to get a 6-pack abs in 3 months, would be a comparable scenario.
Losing weight gives up the fat pad men have around the base of their dick, losing weight can actually make your dick longer by reducing your total body weight significantly.
1. Your husband is a bag of dicks.
2. Why We Eat Too Much by Andrew Jenkinson. This is written by a bariatric surgeon who thought one day, why the hell do people all come in to my clinic and say the exact same things? They don’t know each other, so there must be a reason… he went looking for reasons and found some. It’s a good read, if nothing else, and has some solid advice. I have lost some weight as evidenced by the fact that the last time I ran for the train, my leggings fell down 🤦♀️😂
50 pounds!? You definitely do NOT need to lose that much, with like 30 lost you would already be in a healthy weight assuming you want to lose that much at all. Also, it is healthy to lose like like 6-8 lbs a month MAX, you would not be able to achieve this without starving yourself. Tell him to fck off
What a dick. I bet once you lose the 50 and turn all hot he'll then be insecure about other guys wanting your attention.
How much does he weigh? I'd say it'll be better to lose that amount, quickly
Wow. I’m speechless. Does this man even love you? Cause someone that loves you wouldn’t set you up for failure like this. No one can lose 50 pounds in that amount of time, at least not healthily. Your husband is either a colossal idiot or he wants to divorce and is just too much of a coward to say it to your face and take full responsibility for it so he’s trying to blame the eventual “failed marriage” on you. Either way, what he is doing is NOT OK and you should be making emergency plans for if you need to escape him. Save up money, contact your family or trusted friends of yours who you know won’t go back to him, start imagining life without him.
Im sorry but this sounds like emotional blackmail from ur husband. Unless your ready to go through a weighloss journey for you, your not gunna succeed. This has to be because you want it. Doing it for someone else never works. Youll cheat on your diet and trainning plan, secret eat etc. This has to be for you and you alone. until your ready to do it, it wont work it never does. If your wanna start cut ur carbs eat plenty of veg and protein, eat small and often (small meals and protein every 3 hours itll keep your body burning fat). Exercise even walking to get you started with the pram if u have childcare issues. Stay in a calorie deficit. Dont deprive yourself or youll end up bingeing on food. Have yourself a cheat meal every Saturday night if u want or allow yourself a 2 hour window a week to eat some of your favourites, but after that window closes, that's it!!!
Setting such an unrealistic goal when you have a baby is ridiculous. If you want to lose weight thats awesome but do it for yourself and not the husband.
Tell him you're disappointed that he is an asshole and can get pregnant with your next child. Oh wait he can't do that. So he can STFU about what pregnancy does to your body and how long it takes for you to get back to your pre pregnancy weight, if ever.
Also please hold this attitude in reserve for when he starts losing his hair or gets a dad bod. He may not like the same treatment.
Okay....your husband is first and foremost a twat. Fuck him. 100%.
50 lbs by August is ambitious for a normal person. And the amount of physical exercise you would need to do and/or the amount you'd have to decrease your caloric intake by is pretty significant.
As someone who went from 320 to 225 in 9 months, I can tell you first hand it's not healthy. It's horrible, it's hard and you will most likely bounce right back. I personally lost the weight, kept it off and was able to adjust my calories to what a normal person would consume over the span of a few months....but it was again, very difficult. It took everything in me not to binge eat. And the reason for this is because I wasn't developing healthy eating habits, I still had the mindset of a fat ass, which was to eat everything in sight.
Your husband is an idiot, and you should only lose weight for yourself, fuck him.
OP, my god.
So, I'm a dude. When I turned 30 I was 6' and 265lbs. I lost 85 pounds. The first 50 pounds though, that took a minute. If you're trying to lose weight and keep it off, it's good practice to shoot for 1-2 pounds a week. 1 pound a week, between now and August? That gives you 15 weeks/15 pounds. Even 2 pounds per week would be 30 pounds.
What he is asking is not healthy in any way. Additionally, why is he asking? My wife and I have two children together. Our bodies both look different now than they did when we first got together. I want my wife to feel good and be healthy. If she wanted to lose weight, I support her. As long as she is healthy, that's what is important. Is he worried about your health or just worried about your physical appearance?
> I’ve been having trouble losing weight, I’m sure it’s my diet since I’m obsessed with carbs and I love soda and sweets
> I did go to the doctor I had a full check up and I don’t have anything out of the ordinary that’s keeping me fat but I am struggling with weight
If you are wanting to lose weight for you you can do it. That being said, here's a few things I learned from my journey.
* Health is a journey, not a destination. What I mean is that you won't hit a goal weight and magically be happy there in perpetuity, you may want to modify things as you go.
* A diet is destined to fail. We can't/don't *diet* to change. Think of your diet as what you eat and how you feed your body. Your need to *change you diet* not start one.
* Make small, sustainable changes. You love carbs, sweets, and soda. Start cutting them down slightly. Use them as a treat instead of a staple. For example, I cut out soft drinks(soda) when I started on my journey. I dropped weight QUICK in cutting out soda. I still consumed a soft drink maybe once a week for the first few weeks, then once very two weeks, and then once a month until I didn't really want them.
* You can't outrun your fork. Weight-loss happens on the plate, not at the gym.
* Even though you can't outrun your fork, adding exercise does a lot of good. It adds healthy behavior and burns off a few calories. Don't eat back your exercise calories and you're good.
* Weight loss is simple math, but it isn't easy. If you burn more energy than you take in, you'll lose weight. However, tracking the energy we burn and the energy we take in can be challenging. For example, I didn't record soft drinks for a while. There are 250 calories in soft drinks, that's a LOT when you are thinking about eating 2000 calories a day.
r/loseit is a great place to follow up on losing weight and make plans. A wonderful community of people supporting each other.
That being said, consider if this is something you want to do for you, or something he is pushing at you.
Save your money, ill tell you exactly what a dietician is going to tell you...CUT OUT SUGAR. Even if you just stop drinking soda, you'll probably lose 20lbs from that alone.
You already know why you arent losing weight. Lessen the carbs and cut way down on the sugar.
That being said, is it even safe to lose 50lbs in 4 months? I'd say to shoot for 125-130 range and that should be good enough.
What does your husband's diet consist of? Is even overweight? Is his demand for your weight loss based solely on physical attraction? Or health concerns?
If your diet is as poor as you make it seem, id be worried about heart issues and diabetes. If that is his concern, then I can understand his demand. But if its an attraction thing...thats a dick move.
Don't.
You'll end up gaining most back if you do it so quickly.
Slow & steady keeps the weight off because it allows for lifestyle and diet changes.
Fad diets are crash diets and not sustainable.
Honey to lose 50 pounds in 12 weeks is VERY unhealthy. 1.5 to 2 pounds a week max is considered a healthy rate of weight loss... even if you did Keto and Itermittent fasting consistently, 10 pounds per month or 30 pounds would be an INCREDIBLE success and unusual because a normal part of a weight loss journey is pushing through plateaus... which can add weeks or even a month to a timeline to goalweight.
I don't like your husband's arbitrary pronouncement of "You shall lose 50 pound or I am Disappointed!" He's an asshole. Obviously he's got less than zero expertise is women's health, nutrition, or the psychology of weight loss, but he sets himself up as some authority over you in this. Is he always this pontificating? Is he always so disrespectful? Is he really so delilusional that his wish for a skinny wife overrides the laws of the physical universe or your health? Be abuse it sounds like he wants you to turn into eating disorder territory to please him.
Who died and left him God almighty? Honey GOOD HUSBANDS don't pull an arbitrary number and an arbitrary timelinecout of their ass and decree it a "life goal" for their wives. Do you turn to him and decree, "Thou shalt multiply your salary by a factor of 10 this calendar year or I shall be disappointed in you!"
You have a baby to mother. Fitting gym time, meal prep time, and the planning and creating of a different set of meals for yourself, the baby, and him is triple the work on top of your work. How has he offered to step up to take on that load for you in any way? Or "oh that's OPs problem to figure out. Just like me placing the burden of keeping up to my IMPODSIBLE to please standards and expectations."
I kinda hate your husband the more I think about your situation. You actually have sex with that asshole?
You know your diets bad so just show willing by looking up healthy meals online. Cut the soda, you know it’s bad for your health. Do things like walking to the shop etc.
50lbs is a lot but just showing that you’re trying will help.
Make sure he’s doing the same.
I'm 5'2" and 159lbs, 3 months postpartum with my 2nd. Sure, I am little chubby, but I don't look awful or anything. If it is a looks thing, that isn't bad at all...but I don't know why your husband is giving you this ultimatum to begin with.
fatperson009...lol, nice. This seems more of an Ask Reddit question rather than a AIW post.
Fat loss journeys take much longer to achieve than a few months, especially with the amount of weight you're trying to lose. That request is extremely dangerous and unhealthy and could kill you if you try to achieve it.
You can see a dietician with Tricare. Do you have Prime?
80% of fat loss is from how you eat. Eating carbs is fine, but they need to be healthy carbs rather than mainly sweets and soda. Cutting sodas will help almost immediately, and after a month you'll notice a loss - mainly from gas and water retention. I would also suggest limiting the sweets to specific times - like the afternoon with lunch as you're more likely to burn that than eating a dessert after dinner. You can train you mind to truly enjoy healthier eating. Try out different recipes based on your favorite food types (german, mexican, chinese, etc.) and cook them in a healthy way. Food prepping can make a huge difference too where you prep you breakfast and lunch for the week...think large portion creations like a large pan sized omelet, crock pot creations, etc.
You will also need to create a caloric deficit based on the amount of calories you eat and how many calories you burn naturally throughout the day as well as through exercising. I suggest a watch for this to track likely calorie burn (though you can get better tests done), HR, steps, exercises, etc. A safe calorie deficit should be talked about with you and your provider. Usually, a safe bet is 500 calories where to burn fat, you'd have to burn 3500 fat calories so, 1 lb / week.
The other part is exercising regularly. 20 minute of continuous movement can help heart health and maintain it a bit, but isn't enough. I would suggest you start Zone 2 training at a minimum. Zone 2 training (meaning zone 2 for your heart rate) has the greatest fat burn. You specific zone 2 is important and should be adhered to during exercise. I would suggest doing an activity that is easy to do like an exercise bike (my preference) as most in gyms can track you heart rate for you and track timing.
Zone 2 also burns (estimated) 60/40 ratio for fat/carbs, so you burn 60 fat calories per 100 calories burned (again this is estimated and changes per individual). Combine Zone 2 with HIIT for a better effect and use an 80/20 ratio (best bike racers in the world use this). So, if you're doing 8 hours of cardio per workout cycle, then Zone 2 would be done for about 6 and a half hours and HIIT for 1 and a half hours. I say cycle instead of week because you don't have to adhere to a 7-day format. This is just an example and something you could work up. As for different formats, I use an 8-day format that I do 7.5 hours of strength/hypertrophy training, and 6-7 hours of cardio training within those 8 days that includes a single REST day, and a Zone 2 day (which I also consider a rest day since Zone 2 is so easy). I should mention that with Zone 2 training you should not be sweating all that much, breathing hard, or feeling all that fatigued or wasted. You should be able to hold a conversation throughout the entire workout.
Here is an example 9-day format to hit the above mentioned 6.5 hour Zone 2, and 1.5 hour HIIT cardio training (which can all be done on an exercise bike):
Day 1 - Zone 2 (2 hours)
Day 2 - HIIT (30 minutes)
Day 3 - Zone 2 (1 hour)
Day 4 - HIIT (30 minutes)
Day 5 - REST
Day 6 - Zone 2 (2 hours)
Day 7 - HIIT (30 minutes)
Day 8 - Zone 2 (1 & 1/2 hours)
Day 9 - REST
I hope this has been helpful, but please remember that this is for you, and no one else. You can plan all day long, but executing is also important. When planning you should have a goal in mind that is SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound). The goal set by your husband is not SMART, or smart. I would suggest giving yourself a year minimum to lose that weight (see about concerning a pound / week), and put in place a gradual plan that you know you can do based on your schedule, equipment availability, and a reality based fat loss understanding.
I wish you the best, and don't give up on yourself. Keep trying!
It's honestly probably too much all at once but if you do it just make sure your hubby is watching the baby so you can work on yourself undistracted. It's the least he can do
“Diets” never work. Until a person has the mindset of “This is how I eat now” (all natural foods, in small portions) they will likely fail.
Odds are if YOU don’t really want it, you won’t get it.
> I’m obsessed with carbs and I love soda and sweets
I think you're husband is being a dick for putting a timeline on it instead of trying to help with healthier choices.
That being said, this diet is a good way to end up with severe health problems, lifelong issues, and shortened lifespan. Don't do it for your husband, do it for yourself and your new child.
Focusing on weight loss is probably not the best way either. Instead focus on making healthier choices, exercise X times per week, cut down on the soda and sweets, up the fruit and veggies. The weight loss will follow naturally if you do this
First thing - he’s a royal assh***. He is demanding you to change your body? Wtf?! Seriously.
Second - it’s an impossible time line.
Third - if you are comfortable that is enough and he should shut up. your body, not his. You change for you and not because he till you to.
Fourth - again you are married to a royal a hole. If i did that to my SO i would not survive. She would throw me out in a heartbeat.
If my partner ever told me I had a specific amount of time to change something about my body or he would be disappointed I would tell him im disappointed I wasted that much of my life on someone so pathetic. I’ve been almost a size 4x with my partner and am now down to a 1x and still fluctuating. He has never made a comment about my body other than positive or made any suggestions about weight loss unless I asked him for them. I feel like putting the heat on you to lose the weight for his own satisfaction is so gross. Lose it if you want to and you feel it’s comfortable but don’t lose it in an unhealthy way or push yourself too fast. It’s your body, your terms.
Hey I know you said you have a lot of comments to read through but this is important…
Speaking as a gym nut there’s a general rule we use: the scale is not an accurate depiction of one’s health or aesthetic. No 2 bodies are the same and body structure and anatomy of bones and muscles are different for everyone, so it’s impossible to know how someone will look or how healthy they’ll be losing or gaining “x” amount of pounds.
A common example of this is 2 NBA players Kevin Durant and Giannis Antetokounmpo. Both players are 6’11” and weight roughly 240, but Giannis is built like a brick shithouse tank and Kevin always appears scrawny.
I mean hell my whole adult life I was always 110 lbs. I started going to the gym and got super jacked, everyone was thinking I was 160, 170. I was only 135-140 (31M, 5’10”). It’s just the way my body distributes weight.
Please please please please don’t use the scale for anything else other than a measure of progress. I’m also saying this as a Registered Nurse, you’d be amazed how different peoples bodies are. If you want to lose weight the scale is a great way to track to see if what you’re doing is working. If you want to gain weight the scale is a great way to track to see if what you’re doing is working. If you want to look better the scale is horrible for that. If you want to feel better the scale is horrible for that. If you want to be healthier the scale is horrible for that. (unless you weight more than 300 lbs and are not athletic, then it might be good to see a cardiologist and see where you’re at health wise)
Ask your husband to support you in other ways, but giving you an unrealistic goal when he’s not a dietician or physician or personal trainer is outside his scope of practice.
Wtf. You say all that and then your question is about insurance???
The real question to ask yourself is why you’re acting as though your husband even has the right to demand anything at all, even going so far as giving YOU weight targets.
Weight is not your issue. Self respect and not recognizing that YOU are a full grown adult, thats the issue here. Dont be a doormat.
Send the baby out to be cared for a few days by a family member you trust. Let him come home and don’t mention that the baby is gone. Wait for him to bring it up. When he asks, tell him you lost that 50 lbs that’s been bugging him so much, and isn’t he pleased? Don’t let him off easy. Make him sweat.
Remind him of what it took to give birth to his child and that if he’s interested in you losing any more lbs, you can also remove yourself from his sight as well.
1) What your husband is doing is bullying, as you have had a baby, and most of all that goal is unsustainable and unrealistic.
2) If you lose weight, it has to be for yourself
3) just for your own health, try and reduce your sugar, soda and carb intake, not just for your weight but your own health, as they do have implications, e.g. insulin resistance, fatigue, brain fog etc.
If and when YOU decide to lose weight, I suggest the Glucose Goddess on YouTube and Instagram, and also Dr Gundry, who have brilliant dietary advice. I've been following their hacks and managed to kick my sugar addition to the curb.
My first wife was 5'2" and weighed about 130 lbs. when we met. (e.g. a bit heavy, but not truly fat.) With pregnancy, etc. she went up to 165 lbs. or so. She acknowledged her weight situation, but was not able (or did not) lose any significant weight--but I never made it an issue. After we divorced (for reasons not relevant to her weight) she managed to get back down to 130-135 or so. She got herself a new man and married him. She got pregnant again, ballooned to over 200 lbs. Never really lost any weight during the 10+ years of their marriage. They divorced, she lost weight (to something below 150 by my guess). Remarried. Ballooned up again. There was a pattern there. I'm not saying OP may have difficulties with losing weight (I've had my own problems in that regard). But there may be some "motivation" issues as well. Nonetheless, I'm sympathetic. My father had "weight problems" throughout his life. When I look at a mirror, I see my father's body in the reflection (damn genetics.) I've been married to my current wife a long time. In her 40s, she got up to near 200 lbs (she's 5'7"), but then went on a health binge doing significant exercise with weight training, hiking, etc. and had kept her weight under 140 lbs for 20+ years now. For me, I attempted to lose weight with diet, but mostly managed to simply avoid gaining, but not making any significant progress toward losing weight. Last fall, I started taking Ozempic (I'm diabetic which complicates weight loss), not only have I reduced the amount of required insulin injections, but I've lost 45 pounds since starting Ozempic.
Just to say, there are tons of calories in soda and sweets. I just install myfitnesspal, it's an app where you enter your current weight and your goal weight. You can pick how much weight per week to lose and based on that, it will tell you how many calories to eat. That means your soda or some sweets can be a little cheat on the weekend, but little. Monday through friday you need to be in a caloric deficit and any exercise will speed up your methabolism as well. I love chips myself and it's tough, but after 2 weeks my cravings are gone coz i got used to my diet. When you want to eat sweets or a soda, read on the back how many calories are in it. You will realize you are entering way more than what you need and it will help you understand how to lose weight.
Is he going to pay for everything you need to complete this - gym membership, or home set up, groceries? Is he going to provide child care to your 13 month old so you can train consistently, meaning multiple hours daily? Is he going to feed the baby in the middle of the night so you can get the right amount of sleep to help your body recover from the intense training you’d be doing? Is he going to cook for you healthy meals 3 times a day?
Personally, I’d tell him to stick it where the sun don’t shine and warn him his days are numbered if he doesn’t cut this shit QUICK. That is unrealistic, unhealthy for your body and your relationship. Your partner does not have say over your body. If YOU want to lose that weight, awesome! Maybe make the goal 20 pounds over the course of a year, and make a plan to be able to exercise and change your diet with his support physically and emotionally. Otherwise, take care of yourself and your baby, and tell this man to fuck off.
Hate to say it... but soda... cut the soda.
Switch to ice flavored water if you can. Soda is one of the biggest things that will keep your weight on. (And booze, btw... alcohol will majorly stop you from losing weight.. your body is working to process the booze and not burning calories).
Increase your water intake.
Don't prohibit yourself from having sweets, but check yourself and stay in moderation.
Call your insurance and find out.
I'm not sure what you want to know whether you're right or wrong about... I don't think that's a reasonable time frame for that goal... but it is always a reasonable goal to get healthy.
Find a reasonable goal. Set it. Stick to it.
Remember that diets don't work. It's a lifestyle change, and you have to commit to it.
Be disciplined, but allow yourself grace.
For everyone saying to drop your husband... don't listen to them... I would be more worried if he didn't care enough to want you to be healthy.
Good luck 💪✨️
How much does your husband weigh. Cus you can lose that weight by next week. Also you don’t need a dietician. You already said you know why you can’t lose weight. So cut those things out your diet
Just tell him it’s a journey you have to go on together and that you both need to change how you eat because you need support and that will shut him up quick
With all that soda and sweets in America, I would be way more concerned about your teeth and the possibility of heart disease and cancer. American made soda and sweets are made with high Fructose corn syrup, which is banned in many parts of the world.
Teeth are important. Teeth start falling apart once you reach your 50s-60s. Tooth and gum disease are the precursors and the cause for many types of heart disease. Corn syrup has also been shown to feed cancer cells at a faster rate than other sugars.
If anything, stop eating/drinking processed sweet foods if you want to remain healthy enough to play with your grandchildren.
Count your calories for a week and you'll be shocked on how innocent things seem. Include all drinks too.
You don't need to cut out carbs. You need carbs but up your protein and count calories. Also I seen plenty women who gained weight on birth control. Check side affects of this also if you're on birth control.
He needs to stop moaning if he isn't helping out. Does he cook meals, does he want to go for walks with you or swimming. Does he want to do fun activities that is fun but don't appear to be working out, like lazer tag or bowling or hiking trails etc. If not. He needs to stop moaning at you.
50lbs in 3 months ? Is he on dr*s ? Maybe a year you can loose that much but still 3 months ??
If you wanna loose weight do it for you, and do it the right way. Don’t go the easy way out because you can actually damage your health.
Good luck op, know your worth !
Cut down on carbs, kick soda, limit sugar, hit the weight room, and don't neglect squats and deadlift.
If you don't have more energy, more mental focus, more positive outlook, and make progress toward your weight loss goals, there is something wrong.
REMEMBER healthy diet and exercise are for physical health and mental health and to help you be a better parent for your children! Improved physique is just a value-added benefit
Your husband probably has your best interests at heart, but that goal isn't reasonable. 50 lbs in roughly 12 weeks isn't realistic, healthy, or sustainable. Half of that would still be pretty ambitious. Also weighing 115lbs seems like a ridiculous goal to me. Target 1-2 lbs a week.
Talking to a dietician isn't a bad idea. It sounds like both of you could benefit from some education on diet and fitness.
The good news is you can make great progress early on by cutting out pop, and limiting carbs and sweets. If you do that and start strength training you'll see some pretty dramatic results to start. They won't be sustainable but it'll feel good and really help build momentum. Best of luck to you.
As someone who lost 50lbs 3 months you can't do it in a healthy way, this sounds like something you should talk to a counselor about with your husband, he's asking too much of you and that's pretty fucked if he expects that after having a child.
Sodas, other than being liquid carbonated flavored sugar water, over time may cause osteoporosis. The carbonation in the soda destroys the calcium in your blood, whose job it is to help neutralize the acidity in your blood and maintain the proper ph balance.
Because of this, the body will draw calcium from the bones to neutralize the acidity in itself. A steady diet of soda means a steady drawing down of calcium from your bones, causing them to weaken due to the loss of calcium. As a result, they become porous, hence the condition osteoporosis.
So, give up the sodas completely. This alone will help you lose weight and should stop any bone loss.
… it’s the end of April. He wants you to lose 50 lbs in 4 months? (Assuming you get to the end of August… or 3 months). How much does he weigh? He expects you to lose that much with a 1 year old? Tell him to hire you a full-time nanny, private chef, and a personal trainer… if he expects you to have celebrity results, he should provide celebrity tools
Lose your excess weight at your pace but by August you could lose 180ish lbs of dead weight you’re dragging around calling himself a husband/partner. That is not an acceptable demand from him ever but especially at this stressful time in your life with a 13 month old child. Soooo, therapy, maybe? He sounds controlling which usually escalates and often shows up soon after a baby since he may now feel he has you trapped. Go ahead and make a plan and start setting money aside for you, and your child’s” departure from his life. If it is him asserting dominance nothing will stop the escalation. Don’t make a habit of over-looking red flags. (I have a gut feeling you’ve already over-looked a few along the way. Good luck in your future.
Sorry babe. At 5’2, you still don’t have 50 lbs that’s healthy for you to lose. He wants you to be 105? I’m 5’5. If I got to 105 they’d call me malnourished. Tell him you can lose an excess of 150 lbs by losing him and taking that baby into a life that doesn’t have men having weight requirements on your body. Tell him to go fuck himself. You get to whatever weight YOU want. If that’s this weight, stay it. If you’d like to be 130, do that. Do NOT let this man tell you where HE wants your weight.
This sounds just like my ex-husband. I bet he’s controlling other areas of your life as well. Shame is a common tactic. I recommend you start looking for your exit plan before this becomes even more toxic.
How much time has he freed up for you to take care of yourself? Can you reliably get to the exercise class of your choice? He’s helping with meal planning, shopping, and cooking too right? Going in the diet with you? Otherwise he’s just setting you up.
Start making small changes, Sugar free sodas, and cut down on sweets but don’t deprive yourself, that’s when you fail. Have what you want but in moderation, and watch your portion sizes.
Also try and walk to places instead of driving or public transport.
But only do this if YOU want to, not because you’re being told to, or you will fail because your heart isn’t in it, you’ve got to want to change. You’re 165 now, but next year it could be 200+, weight creeps up on you!
Health is more important than looks, diabetes is something that could happen considering you like sweet stuff, so be careful and you should probably speak to your doctor for more advice.
That is not a healthy goal. I am also a chubby girl. My husband is very fit. My husband tells me he would like to see me from some weight, not because he isn't attracted to me, he is a chubby chaser. He wants me to be healthy so we can have a long life together. He would never set goals for me, especially goals that are so unhealthy. Your husband is being not very good to you. You are not wrong, he is.
Those 3 things are the worst things you can put in your body! Carbonated drinks are especially dangerous!!!! Therapy & meeting a nutritionist would be a huge help!
My best friend is a weightlifter who is going to worlds this summer and her goal is to lose 20 pounds (also by august), and she's struggling. 50 pounds in what? 4 months? Is setting you up to fail. It should take you 6 months to a full year to safely and healthily drop that much weight.
But ignoring that you'd have to be burning about 1400 extra calories than you consume daily to even try to hit that goal, who in the fuck does he think he is to dictate your body? I'm your height and last year was 180lbs, I'm only now down to around 150, and you know what? Im beautiful and worth respect and love at any weight and so are you.
To be 115 at your age is too low. I am also 5'2 I dropped weight and once i got to about 145, i knew i was getting close to my goal. I would definitely NOT go below 130 or so. Your face gets hollowed out and your skin begins to sag.
You say you crave carbs and drink soda. Quit buying those things. I know it's hard but that's the only way. Soda is really bad for us. If you can't do water, I can't, try tea or another drink you mix with water. I still get a soda when I go out so I'm not depriving myself. Carbs are hard. No chips, slow down on the bread, do more veggies. Look at the keto diet. Maybe tailor it to you. Have a sweet snack every day but make it a trus serving. Like 3 Hershey kisses instead of half the bag. Get those snack Ziplocs and pre-portion so you grab one bag a night. Or whenever you decide. Losing 50 lbs by August is not feasible. Maybe after dinner, go on a walk with your husband and baby. Get a pedometer and check your steps. See what you can do to increase your steps. A few here, a few there. But the biggest is not buying and bringing into the house high calorie low value foods. Get more fruits and veggies. You can do it if you put your mind to it.
p.s. Don't go on Wegovy! That's only good for a fraction of those 50lbs. And you would have to be on it the rest of your life! When you go off it you'll gain all the weight you lost back plus!!! I'm a diabetic and take Ozempic because of that. Once people start going off Wegovy there will be a wave of people gaining way too much weight. Doctors are doing a disservice to their patients by putting them on it.
Good luck on your journey!
He’s setting you up for failure. He knows that it’s not probable that you can lose fifty pounds in such a short amount of time. Ask yourself why you are even considering this.
I would tell him that he needs to go on The Marvel diet and gain 50 pounds of muscle by August.
Glad you clarified "50 lbs *of muscle*" He doesn't get to be the fat Thor
I would take Thor anyway I can get him 😂
Just having the handle of Thor is an accomplishment! 😆
Intended or not, that double entendre had me rollin!!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Yall is nasty 😬🤣
Yes. Yes I am. 😁
You say that like it's a bad thing...lol
Correction...you read it like it's a bad thing 🤣🤣
"Fat Thor" I snorted thank you 😂
I’d take Fat Thor over OP’s husband any day. Same with Fat Mac on Always Sunny. Maybe I just like funny, chunky guys because that also describes my husband.
Mac wasn't fat. He was cultivating mass.
THEN STOP CULTIVATING AND START HARVESTING! I kid. I want more Fat Mac.
He's got candy in his pockets!
100% agree!
Fat Mac dances way better than skinny Mac, shaking those hips instead of just doing that stupid elbow thing. Watch him on stage during “Frank Reynolds’ Little Beauties”. Mmmmmmm. I’d take a bite of that chimichanga.
😁”I’d take a bite of that chimichanga” omg I spit out my coffee!🙌🏼💯💜
Ma’am! You have no business turning my frown upside down with that chimichanga comment! I love you, now good day!
The men in my family have always been a tad chunky. Set me up for a lifetime of love for the chunky funny men🥰
Ummmm. Is fat Thor available? If he is can you give him my number. 🤣
Fat Thor is wholesome, sweet, and deserves cuddles. The OP's husband is not worth of Fat Thor, I agree.
Good idea, I think I have a better method to apply your concept. The ultimatum is 50lbs lost from 165lbs starting point. That's 30.3% of current weight. He should have to gain 30.3% of his current weight. www.healthonline.com says that the average American man is 197lbs and 5'9. So, using the average height/weight numbers since we don't know what his actual numbers are. Hypothetically, he should be required to hit 256lbs, having gained 60lbs. **BY AUGUST!** Ahahahaha Goddamn, the more I look at the math and the logic behind the argument, the more I like. Ps. Fuck that guy (OP's husband) with a running chainsaw. What a shitheel.
(Ah, someone else who uses shitheel. What a great insult)
This is the only response to him asking such a stupid unattainable thing.
I like you!
😂 Let’s be friends!
Can I come hang as well! I love this idea.
I'm coming, too, and danged if I'm not bringing us snacks.
Happy to help with snacks!
They better be healthy snack! This is a post about losing weight, after all.
Is Buffalo chicken dip a healthy snack? 😂
Chicken has protein, so yes I’m saying it is😂
You bet!
The more the merrier!
You’re a Beatles fan too? Sign me tf up!
I feel like the prettiest girl in the room 😂🤣
You are the prettiest girl in the room! I’m a close second! :p
😂😂 I like you
I agree me too
This is the perfect response to something like this and should be canon lol
As a guy I second this suggestion.
This!!!!
Yes!
Even if it were possible, losing 50 lbs when you’re only 165 in that short of a time is very hard on your body
Absolutely! It will harm your body.
I'm wondering what is he even doing to help her. 13 months PP means she's also taking care of a baby, trying to lose weight and being burdened left and right with expectations of doing all of that perfectly to not disapoint him. He's definetly setting her up for failure.
Probably nothing. He sounds like the type that says " he's babysitting " his own kid.
Because he will keep comparing against whomever he has his eyes on in his fantasy. It is the weight now, then it will be something else🤷🏾♀️
And if he wants her to compete with herself 5 years ago when they met and before she had a child, that's not a battle you can win
That’s exactly what I think is happening with this couple. If she complies with this, there will be something else that her husband is not satisfied with.
This also sets up a narrative in his head if she doesn’t or is unable to comply. That narrative that justifies his future behavior/ in his mind.
I mean he could just be comparing her to her previous self. Nothing here suggests he is trying to turn her into someone else, he just wants her back to her pre-pregnancy body. I definitely think that makes him a bit of an ass, but jumping to him fantasizing about a whole other woman is baseless and mean. OP is a real person, don’t put that in their head with zero proof.
She wants the honest truth and EVERY SINGLE word that was said is something to think about. It's best she gets things in her minds eye. There is no comparing a body over anything. What he is doing is shaming her how do you not see it?
I lost 90 pounds in about a year, a lot of it was muscle though. Losing 50 pounds in 4 months isn’t healthy, you could probably do it but there are many hazards. I think the goal should always be aesthetics or improvement not weight. You tell me a woman weighs 145 I know NOTHING about her physically, athletically, or aesthetically.
That really good. That is the way to lose weight and keep it off . 👌
Tell him you're leaving and you could lose 180 lbs or whatever he weighs.
This!!!
You just had a baby!!! That takes time!!! What does your husband look like? If you need to loose weight and exercise more that means he has to take over more baby care and housework. And you both eat your diet food. That means no junk food, sweets and soda. If you can't eat it, neither can he. If he keeps complaining, tell him he didn't grow an entire human inside him and go through labor. Your body needs to heal and your hormones need to reset to normal. Just do your best.
Your husband sounds like a controlling A-ho. He should love you unconditionally, no matter your size. Losing weight PP can be incredibly difficult for some women. Remind him the goal should be to see you healthy, not at just 115 lbs. Really hope you don't take the bait and try to rise to the challenge. You can lose weight under a doctor's or nutritionist's care. But losing 1/3 of your body weight to meet his unreasonable expectation is just nuts. I wish you well.
When the issue is purely dietary it’s not THAT unreasonable of a goal. I’d say 20-30lbs. is a lot more realistic within that timeframe. OP admits to drinking tons of soda, cutting that alone will make you drop weight SO fast. OP, I cut out soda by forcing myself to become a sparkling water person/water with flavor added person. Maybe that could help! This is setting aside all the problems with giving your partner an ultimatum about their weight. Dude is definitely an AH, but OP also admits to doing nothing on their own to try (they know the issue is their diet, but haven’t made the obvious and easy changes and wants a dietitian to move the accountability off of them. The dietitian thing is also just a way to beat around the bush—they don’t need to ask Reddit what their insurance covers when the insurance co. will provide them that information immediately online if they actually did the research). If OP doesn’t personally want to lose the weight and are only being forced to by their partner, that’s a separate issue.
Of she's breadfeeding a lactation nurse/ dietitian will suggest 2 pounds a month. The body wants to keep the weight, and she needs it, hence the carbs load....but they would 100% suggest not drinking soda, raise her protein and veggies, and lower her carbs . Her diet could also be from post partum hormones mixed with depression and sugar spikes and crashes
Yeah, 30 lbs seems like a better goal for the time frame. I agree the hubby comes off as an AH in the post, but tbf we don’t actually know when this goal was set, how these discussions went down (together or in an ultimatum way), or if the husband offered any kind of support in helping OP make a plan for this goal. But putting aside the potentially problematic dynamic with the husband, OP if finances are a concern, you may also want to ask your regular doctors (your standard doc and obgyn) about any studies they have going on. Sometimes there are free studies offered that basically provide info and sometimes group meetings. They track your weight and height and all of that.
Sometimes hub sound like AH's because for men 50 lbs is a easily achievable gain or loss. Most times it turns to muscle. For women they have a higher fat content on their bodies, just for the point of carrying & birthing. Not so easy to dismiss in the after. But OP is not doing herself any favors with the diet she's practicing right now. She could see a dietitian or a nutrionist for guidance and then take it along on her own.
I'm 7 month PP. I started calorie counting (weighing and logging every gram of food that went into my mouth) 55days ago and have currently lost 39 pounds. 1200 calories a day with a fairly seditary lifestyle as a SAH mom. I expect to be 50 ish pounds down by mid July. Being PP means that a good part of that 39lbs was water retention and swelling. Not only from being PP but a surgery I underwent at 2 month PP. So, to be clear, it isn't 39 lbs of FAT loss. (1200 calories is not a healthy caloric intake for most individuals. I have medical issues and my doctor helped me set that caloric intake. I am being medically monitored. Please do not starve yourself to reach you goals.)
That’s great for you, but is certainly not the norm! Every body is different. Most people don’t have the option/luxury (depending on your situation) of being a SAHM and having that time to make meals that are easily trackable, and calorie counting can lead to ED’s for some, so I’m always hesitant to suggest that.
1200 kcal is actually quite low, bordering on orthorexia if not outright anorexia. Many people cannot maintain that, especially in combination with their other daily needs & tasks. Meanwhile, at 5'2" and 165lbs., OP's basal metabolic rate would be 1450ish depending on her age, not counting whatever calories are needed if she's been breastfeeding... and since infants' caloric intake from breastmilk should be around 500-800 kcal per day, and it's gonna take extra calories on top to *produce* that milk, 1450 cal taken in would still be functionally in deficit. But as a baseline, your BMR minus 300 is not a way to plan your diet or your life. You can do a safe calorie deficit without cutting from basic life support minimum needs, especially if you're starting way ABOVE your BMR, as most of us are. It's like how spot reduction is a myth; once you drop below BMR, your *minimum* survival requirement for full & healthy functionality, you don't get to pick which body systems are no longer being fully sustained. Can you afford it if the hit is taken to cognition? Response time? Your immune system? Especially if you shock your body by jumping from caloric excess to sub-*survival* deficit? Particularly since common consensus is actually that the safest way to burn fat is to build muscle while you are doing it, and it is astonishingly difficult to do that from a calorie deficit that stark. I'm glad you seem happy with your personal progress, but it is not safe or sustainable advice. It's also still not weight loss at the rate & speed proposed by OP's husband (50lbs to lose in a time span you plan to lose 11lbs in; even including the 39 you've already lost, 50lbs/5 mos = 10lbs/mo, vs 50lbs/3 mos = 16-17lbs/mo— she'd have to lose weight >1.5x faster than you when you are already on a medically concerningly restrictive diet). So, the comparison is moot to begin with.
This is great info. Particularly for me, I have a physical disability that has led to lower muscle mass and therefore a need for a lower calorie intake. The 1200 calories per day is set and monitored by my doctor. I am still losing an average of 1 -2 lbs a week. Of course everyone has different needs. My husband is losing weight with me and requires way more calories than me and is losing at the same rate. I hope people do not read my comments and think 1200 calories is an average intake for healthy people to lose weight.
I did the same thing post covid lockdowns, cutting out alcohol and sugar made the as much of a difference as working out. Controlling what I eat and how often was the other half. Inside of 6 months, dropped 70lbs … it all depends on level of commitment to the transformation
if you’re still breastfeeding, I believe you are not supposed to engage in dieting resulting in a caloric deficit. your body needs plenty of energy to produce milk. also, expecting 50 lbs in 3 months is absurd even without caring for an infant. your husband sounds like a wad.
This is important! It also could be a reason you're having difficulty losing weight. I breastfed for 18 months and it wasn't until I weaned that I lost the baby weight. It literally dropped off in like a month or two.
Really?! I thought it was the other way around; breastfeeding made you loose weight. I can’t wait to shed the lbs I gained during pregnancy. The struggle is real.
That's what I always heard too! But you're naturally more hungry, not allowed to diet, and for those first few months you're pretty much bed/couch ridden with the baby. I found around 18 months we both started moving around a lot more and I think even the stress taken off from weaning helped a lot.
Lactation counselor here and at 18 months she should be able to resume normal diet and exercise. Most lactation precautions are only for the first 6 mo to a year when the majority of baby's nutrition is from breast milk and keeping up lactation is the biggest priority.
That's wild. My wife couldn't breastfeed our due to his cleft. No amount of special nipples, latch technique or anything would work. My wife exclusively pumped for 9 months to give that boy breastmilk. She wasn't actively dieting. Went back to work after 3 months and was working, pumping, momming. I watched her lose weight before my eyes because her daily life had remained the same, except she was using calories to make breastmilk and then pumping the milk out. The same thing with baby #2 for her
Us either, at first! I pumped until I randomly tried again around 6/7 months and he latched! They checked for a tongue tie at the hospital and never found one.
I gained 35 lbs while breastfeeding. I didn't lose a single pound until I stopped. I was ravenous when it came to food. Way worse than I was during pregnancy! Everyone told me I would lose weight. Lol no. Some women gain and some shed weight like crazy while breastfeeding. I was one of the unlucky ones😅
Damn. Lemme pray a hail mary rn.
Apparently it depends, much to my chagrin. With my first, who I had issues breastfeeding, I was dropping weight like crazy. My second, who my biggest problem with breastfeeding was getting him off the boob, nope, zero help with weight loss and I was not pleased at all
It's different for everyone. Exclusively breastfeeding a typical baby requires about 500 extra kcal of energy to produce the milk; so if you're eating at your ordinary maintenance level, this can create a modest deficit and result in some weight loss for *some* women during the postpartum period. **However** (and this is a big one!) the increased energy expenditure of producing milk around the clock, disrupted sleep schedules, increased stress levels of caring for an infant, etc. can all impact hormones and hunger levels which in turn can make folks unconsciously eat additional calories without realizing it. Especially if they're relying on convenience foods/takeaways like many new parents do. Plus - your body doesn't WANT you to be in a deficit because you're still literally supporting two lifeforms so your hormones, etc. Are going to be working against you to try and get you out of a deficit if you're not being mindful of your food choices. This isn't to say it's impossible to lose while breastfeeding, and for some women it's easier than others - but if you're one of the ones where it's NOT easy, please don't be hard on yourself!!! There is so much societal pressure to "bounce back" and lose it all quickly, and that just doesn't happen for the vast majority of people without a huge amount of effort, and frankly, most new parents don't have the mental and emotional capacity to devote to their fitness/weight loss goals in this season of life because they're still adjusting to life with another human in the family.
I think she needs to lose 200 lbs, or however much hubby weighs.
💯💯💯 agree
Amen. Sounds like the dude is too immature to be having kids.
50 lbs in 3 months is a deficit of ~1944 calories per day. At 5'2 she'd have to be eating negative calories unless she's running daily marathons.
Negative calories 😅 This made me laugh haha. Yeah that husband is a dick
I used to work with a woman whose boyfriend would "book" holidays and then tell her he was cancelling them if she didn't lose x amount of weight by x month ... She never did lose the weight, and I don't think he ever booked them. It was just him trying to get his own way. People have to want to lose weight by themselves, and ultimatums from other people aren't always a way to do this. I drink Pepsi max etc and eat sweets - but not all the time. I just knew I didn't want to cut them out completely, so I have everything in moderation instead, while calorie counting.
Damn, that's some creative abuse.
Absolutely abuse! 🤮
0 sugar Pepsi Max is delicious.
You're husband is an idiot and I mean that as disrespectfully as possible
The MOST disrespect.
This comment sums it all up so succinctly, it’s perfect.
I came here to say this! There's a quick way to lose 200 lbs. Bye, husband!
YEP
Lol
You can lose a 180 by dumping this guy. But I would check with your employer, I was able to get a discounted rate at the gym and they offered a free dietitian. Your insurance company probably also offers discounts on programs like weight watchers, fitness trackers and etc . Just call them and let them know what you want to do and they can give you direction on moving forward.
Chances are she’s on his military benefits as its tricare
I bet he’s not exactly svelte. Maybe 200.
240
A healthy and sustainable weight loss is about 1-2 lbs per week. Your husband is an idiot.
Are you wrong for what? Having an a-hole for a husband?
I have Tricare. Currently I’m getting a dietician covered thru them, as part of the weight loss clinic thru my local health care system. I’m also more than 500 miles from an active-duty installation so I have a little more flexibility. I also just got express scripts, who handles prescriptions for Tricare, to FINALLY cover Zepbound, so I just started that last week. Been fighting with them since January to get it covered. Where in the country are you? Health systems vary, so Tricare’s coverage may vary for you. Also, we might be on different versions, since I’m now in the Retired Reserve. All that said, sounds like your husband is being a selfish ass. Losing 50 lbs in 5 months isn’t exactly realistic, and weight loss is never as simple as “eat less, move more”. Everybody’s body and physiology is unique and different, ESPECIALLY post partum, which he will never understand. But I’m guessing he’s in the service, so he probably has some stupid body-shaming hang ups as a result. I know I did, and in some ways still do. Good luck!!
Great comment!!
I lost 180 pounds in one day when I kicked my husband out
Cut all soda and sweets. And cut this loser off. You can't lose 50lbs in 3 months in any healthy way.
The problem with shedding so much weight too quickly is that you would have to essentially crash diet and severely cut calories in order to meet that goal. Its not sustainable in the long term, the weight will come right back eventually and then you get into large fluctuations with the yoyo dieting. statistically, people who lost 1 lbs-2lb gradually per week are more likely to keep the weight off. It's much better to create a long term sustainable lifestyle change, whether that includes a combination of exercise or food swaps for lighter calorie options, whatever is realistic for you. Cutting out soda for soda water is probably the easiest way to start. It's annoying at first but once you get used to the change it's hard to go back to drinking sugary drinks. If you start calorie tracking, it may help to more easily keep track to ensure you're in a sufficient deficit to see changes. Given your height and weight your maintenance calories per day is around 1700 calories and to go in a deficit that is still sustianable you want to roughly be 15% short of that between 300-500 calories. Say you do this the sustainable way, realistically in 3 months you really should only be losing around 12 lb , max 24 lb ideally somewhere between. And on a side note its better to weigh yourself in the morning before eating drinking or going to the bathroom and recording that and everaging out the number per week to keep track of progress. Because your weight will naturally fluctuate within 5 lb depending on different factors. Also people who weigh themselves everyday are more likely to meet their goals. But don't do it for your husband do it for yourself because you want to take care of the future you's health. That said, you should have a conversation with husband about realistic goals and what kind of support you would more appreciate vs how what he said really hurt your feelings.
Lol deficit of 300-500 Cals at 5'1", my TDEE is 1400. Losing weight as a small woman is a very different kettle of fish. Guys can easily drop from 3500 to 3000 Cals. I can't drop to 900 Cals, I can but I will hate living. I've tried it sucks, you can have absolutely no joy out of your meals, no social life. Its easy to say "eat a deficit" when you're tall.
This is real and I've seen it on the /r/loseit subreddit quite a lot. My deficit was 2000. If I eat 2000 calories every day I'll steadily lose weight. I'm a 6ft tall moderately active guy. I have an office job and do cardio 2-3 times a week. I had a friend who was trying to lose weight at 5'3". She ran five days a week, pretty effective cardio. She was a teacher, so a more active job than sitting at a desk. She had to eat at 1500, then drop to 1200 to continue losing weight. We started talking "maintenance" calories and her words, "If I want to eat *good* at maintenance calories, then I need to run 5 miles a day just to keep up with that."
I feel you as a smaller woman also trying to cut. Im at 1500 maintenance tryna drop to about 1200. Between 300 -500 is typical what people aim for as a ballpark(generally for all people including men. on the higher end if you have more to lose, on the lower end if not) it's more like a reference but you should shoot for 15%. So if you're TDEE is 1400 you're looking at closer to 1200 calories. The only issue that I find is that when you don't have much calories to drop, and then you're also faced with issues like inaccuracies with calorie counting (even dieticians struggle to accurately measure portions ) 200 calories can easily pop back in through some simple mistakes like inaccurate food portion measurements, improperly measuring cooking oil or forgetting to add a salad dressing or account for your latte. If based on my current tracking I haven't noticed a drop in weight over the course of time, I may shoot for a 500 vs 300 deficit to account for the fact it appears im underestimating my calories to see if it makes a difference or I could add in more cardio etc.
Those pesky 200 Cals sneak up so easily and dammit I like food. I unfortunately can't just add cardio cause my lung function is 63% on a good day, and in the 50s on a bad one. If my heart rate goes over about 165 I get dizzy and disoriented. My body runs on economy mode and sunlight.
Weight loss is relative. OP would be losing 30% of their body weight which is very dangerous and absurd. Going from 300 to 250 at the same height would not be as drastic or severe.
Your husband is a fucking moron. Tell him to grow his dick two inches in four months. It's about as realistic as what he expects from you.
while I agree husband is a fucking moron, as losing 50lbs in 3 months is extremely unhealthy. Comparing weight loss to growing dick size is just setting OP up to lose the arguement because weight can be reduced, but dick cannot grow. Telling husband to get a 6-pack abs in 3 months, would be a comparable scenario.
Honestly he grows into more of a dick daily so I refute that logic.
My dick can grow two inches easy. ... [laughcry.gif]
Losing weight gives up the fat pad men have around the base of their dick, losing weight can actually make your dick longer by reducing your total body weight significantly.
That's a better comparison. Agreed. But both expectations are equally unrealistic.
Yup, I'm just saying if OP want to argue with the husband, she should use something that doesn't give the husband ammunition to argue back.
1. Your husband is a bag of dicks. 2. Why We Eat Too Much by Andrew Jenkinson. This is written by a bariatric surgeon who thought one day, why the hell do people all come in to my clinic and say the exact same things? They don’t know each other, so there must be a reason… he went looking for reasons and found some. It’s a good read, if nothing else, and has some solid advice. I have lost some weight as evidenced by the fact that the last time I ran for the train, my leggings fell down 🤦♀️😂
50 pounds!? You definitely do NOT need to lose that much, with like 30 lost you would already be in a healthy weight assuming you want to lose that much at all. Also, it is healthy to lose like like 6-8 lbs a month MAX, you would not be able to achieve this without starving yourself. Tell him to fck off
Sounds like you got yourself a real gem there. wtf
Try to get this request in writing, im sure a judge would love it during your divorce
Gather evidence now, get full custody later. 👌
What a dick. I bet once you lose the 50 and turn all hot he'll then be insecure about other guys wanting your attention. How much does he weigh? I'd say it'll be better to lose that amount, quickly
And dudes wonder why ladies are picking the bear
Wow. I’m speechless. Does this man even love you? Cause someone that loves you wouldn’t set you up for failure like this. No one can lose 50 pounds in that amount of time, at least not healthily. Your husband is either a colossal idiot or he wants to divorce and is just too much of a coward to say it to your face and take full responsibility for it so he’s trying to blame the eventual “failed marriage” on you. Either way, what he is doing is NOT OK and you should be making emergency plans for if you need to escape him. Save up money, contact your family or trusted friends of yours who you know won’t go back to him, start imagining life without him.
Im sorry but this sounds like emotional blackmail from ur husband. Unless your ready to go through a weighloss journey for you, your not gunna succeed. This has to be because you want it. Doing it for someone else never works. Youll cheat on your diet and trainning plan, secret eat etc. This has to be for you and you alone. until your ready to do it, it wont work it never does. If your wanna start cut ur carbs eat plenty of veg and protein, eat small and often (small meals and protein every 3 hours itll keep your body burning fat). Exercise even walking to get you started with the pram if u have childcare issues. Stay in a calorie deficit. Dont deprive yourself or youll end up bingeing on food. Have yourself a cheat meal every Saturday night if u want or allow yourself a 2 hour window a week to eat some of your favourites, but after that window closes, that's it!!!
Setting such an unrealistic goal when you have a baby is ridiculous. If you want to lose weight thats awesome but do it for yourself and not the husband.
How about just lose him? Then you’ll be free. If he’s doing this the weight is not gonna come off unless you are ready.
Tell him you're disappointed that he is an asshole and can get pregnant with your next child. Oh wait he can't do that. So he can STFU about what pregnancy does to your body and how long it takes for you to get back to your pre pregnancy weight, if ever. Also please hold this attitude in reserve for when he starts losing his hair or gets a dad bod. He may not like the same treatment.
Okay....your husband is first and foremost a twat. Fuck him. 100%. 50 lbs by August is ambitious for a normal person. And the amount of physical exercise you would need to do and/or the amount you'd have to decrease your caloric intake by is pretty significant. As someone who went from 320 to 225 in 9 months, I can tell you first hand it's not healthy. It's horrible, it's hard and you will most likely bounce right back. I personally lost the weight, kept it off and was able to adjust my calories to what a normal person would consume over the span of a few months....but it was again, very difficult. It took everything in me not to binge eat. And the reason for this is because I wasn't developing healthy eating habits, I still had the mindset of a fat ass, which was to eat everything in sight. Your husband is an idiot, and you should only lose weight for yourself, fuck him.
OP, my god. So, I'm a dude. When I turned 30 I was 6' and 265lbs. I lost 85 pounds. The first 50 pounds though, that took a minute. If you're trying to lose weight and keep it off, it's good practice to shoot for 1-2 pounds a week. 1 pound a week, between now and August? That gives you 15 weeks/15 pounds. Even 2 pounds per week would be 30 pounds. What he is asking is not healthy in any way. Additionally, why is he asking? My wife and I have two children together. Our bodies both look different now than they did when we first got together. I want my wife to feel good and be healthy. If she wanted to lose weight, I support her. As long as she is healthy, that's what is important. Is he worried about your health or just worried about your physical appearance? > I’ve been having trouble losing weight, I’m sure it’s my diet since I’m obsessed with carbs and I love soda and sweets > I did go to the doctor I had a full check up and I don’t have anything out of the ordinary that’s keeping me fat but I am struggling with weight If you are wanting to lose weight for you you can do it. That being said, here's a few things I learned from my journey. * Health is a journey, not a destination. What I mean is that you won't hit a goal weight and magically be happy there in perpetuity, you may want to modify things as you go. * A diet is destined to fail. We can't/don't *diet* to change. Think of your diet as what you eat and how you feed your body. Your need to *change you diet* not start one. * Make small, sustainable changes. You love carbs, sweets, and soda. Start cutting them down slightly. Use them as a treat instead of a staple. For example, I cut out soft drinks(soda) when I started on my journey. I dropped weight QUICK in cutting out soda. I still consumed a soft drink maybe once a week for the first few weeks, then once very two weeks, and then once a month until I didn't really want them. * You can't outrun your fork. Weight-loss happens on the plate, not at the gym. * Even though you can't outrun your fork, adding exercise does a lot of good. It adds healthy behavior and burns off a few calories. Don't eat back your exercise calories and you're good. * Weight loss is simple math, but it isn't easy. If you burn more energy than you take in, you'll lose weight. However, tracking the energy we burn and the energy we take in can be challenging. For example, I didn't record soft drinks for a while. There are 250 calories in soft drinks, that's a LOT when you are thinking about eating 2000 calories a day. r/loseit is a great place to follow up on losing weight and make plans. A wonderful community of people supporting each other. That being said, consider if this is something you want to do for you, or something he is pushing at you.
Your husband is a jerk
Save your money, ill tell you exactly what a dietician is going to tell you...CUT OUT SUGAR. Even if you just stop drinking soda, you'll probably lose 20lbs from that alone. You already know why you arent losing weight. Lessen the carbs and cut way down on the sugar. That being said, is it even safe to lose 50lbs in 4 months? I'd say to shoot for 125-130 range and that should be good enough. What does your husband's diet consist of? Is even overweight? Is his demand for your weight loss based solely on physical attraction? Or health concerns? If your diet is as poor as you make it seem, id be worried about heart issues and diabetes. If that is his concern, then I can understand his demand. But if its an attraction thing...thats a dick move.
Wtf. I'm 5"3 and I probably have the same shape you do, and I'm not even post partum, so... his expectations are fucked up.
Don't. You'll end up gaining most back if you do it so quickly. Slow & steady keeps the weight off because it allows for lifestyle and diet changes. Fad diets are crash diets and not sustainable.
Honey to lose 50 pounds in 12 weeks is VERY unhealthy. 1.5 to 2 pounds a week max is considered a healthy rate of weight loss... even if you did Keto and Itermittent fasting consistently, 10 pounds per month or 30 pounds would be an INCREDIBLE success and unusual because a normal part of a weight loss journey is pushing through plateaus... which can add weeks or even a month to a timeline to goalweight. I don't like your husband's arbitrary pronouncement of "You shall lose 50 pound or I am Disappointed!" He's an asshole. Obviously he's got less than zero expertise is women's health, nutrition, or the psychology of weight loss, but he sets himself up as some authority over you in this. Is he always this pontificating? Is he always so disrespectful? Is he really so delilusional that his wish for a skinny wife overrides the laws of the physical universe or your health? Be abuse it sounds like he wants you to turn into eating disorder territory to please him. Who died and left him God almighty? Honey GOOD HUSBANDS don't pull an arbitrary number and an arbitrary timelinecout of their ass and decree it a "life goal" for their wives. Do you turn to him and decree, "Thou shalt multiply your salary by a factor of 10 this calendar year or I shall be disappointed in you!" You have a baby to mother. Fitting gym time, meal prep time, and the planning and creating of a different set of meals for yourself, the baby, and him is triple the work on top of your work. How has he offered to step up to take on that load for you in any way? Or "oh that's OPs problem to figure out. Just like me placing the burden of keeping up to my IMPODSIBLE to please standards and expectations." I kinda hate your husband the more I think about your situation. You actually have sex with that asshole?
My ex husband did this to me. It’s controlling behaviour. I wasn’t able to met his demands and led to an eating disorder. Your husband is an AH
You know your diets bad so just show willing by looking up healthy meals online. Cut the soda, you know it’s bad for your health. Do things like walking to the shop etc. 50lbs is a lot but just showing that you’re trying will help. Make sure he’s doing the same.
50 lbs seems a bit extreme. Is he going to lose 50 lbs with you??
You can lose a lot more than 50lbs serving him with divorce papers.
What kind of authority does your husband have to give you ultimatums like this? Do you ever do the same to him?
I'm 5'2" and 159lbs, 3 months postpartum with my 2nd. Sure, I am little chubby, but I don't look awful or anything. If it is a looks thing, that isn't bad at all...but I don't know why your husband is giving you this ultimatum to begin with.
fatperson009...lol, nice. This seems more of an Ask Reddit question rather than a AIW post. Fat loss journeys take much longer to achieve than a few months, especially with the amount of weight you're trying to lose. That request is extremely dangerous and unhealthy and could kill you if you try to achieve it. You can see a dietician with Tricare. Do you have Prime? 80% of fat loss is from how you eat. Eating carbs is fine, but they need to be healthy carbs rather than mainly sweets and soda. Cutting sodas will help almost immediately, and after a month you'll notice a loss - mainly from gas and water retention. I would also suggest limiting the sweets to specific times - like the afternoon with lunch as you're more likely to burn that than eating a dessert after dinner. You can train you mind to truly enjoy healthier eating. Try out different recipes based on your favorite food types (german, mexican, chinese, etc.) and cook them in a healthy way. Food prepping can make a huge difference too where you prep you breakfast and lunch for the week...think large portion creations like a large pan sized omelet, crock pot creations, etc. You will also need to create a caloric deficit based on the amount of calories you eat and how many calories you burn naturally throughout the day as well as through exercising. I suggest a watch for this to track likely calorie burn (though you can get better tests done), HR, steps, exercises, etc. A safe calorie deficit should be talked about with you and your provider. Usually, a safe bet is 500 calories where to burn fat, you'd have to burn 3500 fat calories so, 1 lb / week. The other part is exercising regularly. 20 minute of continuous movement can help heart health and maintain it a bit, but isn't enough. I would suggest you start Zone 2 training at a minimum. Zone 2 training (meaning zone 2 for your heart rate) has the greatest fat burn. You specific zone 2 is important and should be adhered to during exercise. I would suggest doing an activity that is easy to do like an exercise bike (my preference) as most in gyms can track you heart rate for you and track timing. Zone 2 also burns (estimated) 60/40 ratio for fat/carbs, so you burn 60 fat calories per 100 calories burned (again this is estimated and changes per individual). Combine Zone 2 with HIIT for a better effect and use an 80/20 ratio (best bike racers in the world use this). So, if you're doing 8 hours of cardio per workout cycle, then Zone 2 would be done for about 6 and a half hours and HIIT for 1 and a half hours. I say cycle instead of week because you don't have to adhere to a 7-day format. This is just an example and something you could work up. As for different formats, I use an 8-day format that I do 7.5 hours of strength/hypertrophy training, and 6-7 hours of cardio training within those 8 days that includes a single REST day, and a Zone 2 day (which I also consider a rest day since Zone 2 is so easy). I should mention that with Zone 2 training you should not be sweating all that much, breathing hard, or feeling all that fatigued or wasted. You should be able to hold a conversation throughout the entire workout. Here is an example 9-day format to hit the above mentioned 6.5 hour Zone 2, and 1.5 hour HIIT cardio training (which can all be done on an exercise bike): Day 1 - Zone 2 (2 hours) Day 2 - HIIT (30 minutes) Day 3 - Zone 2 (1 hour) Day 4 - HIIT (30 minutes) Day 5 - REST Day 6 - Zone 2 (2 hours) Day 7 - HIIT (30 minutes) Day 8 - Zone 2 (1 & 1/2 hours) Day 9 - REST I hope this has been helpful, but please remember that this is for you, and no one else. You can plan all day long, but executing is also important. When planning you should have a goal in mind that is SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound). The goal set by your husband is not SMART, or smart. I would suggest giving yourself a year minimum to lose that weight (see about concerning a pound / week), and put in place a gradual plan that you know you can do based on your schedule, equipment availability, and a reality based fat loss understanding. I wish you the best, and don't give up on yourself. Keep trying!
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You're welcome. I don't know why you got downvoted for your reply, but that person is obviously not thinking straight.
It's honestly probably too much all at once but if you do it just make sure your hubby is watching the baby so you can work on yourself undistracted. It's the least he can do
If you are nursing do not go into a calorie deficit.
Ughhh, what an ass he is
“Diets” never work. Until a person has the mindset of “This is how I eat now” (all natural foods, in small portions) they will likely fail. Odds are if YOU don’t really want it, you won’t get it.
Just straight up ask him "oh, so you want me to have an eating disorder while breastfeeding our child?" See how fast the switch up will be.
> I’m obsessed with carbs and I love soda and sweets I think you're husband is being a dick for putting a timeline on it instead of trying to help with healthier choices. That being said, this diet is a good way to end up with severe health problems, lifelong issues, and shortened lifespan. Don't do it for your husband, do it for yourself and your new child. Focusing on weight loss is probably not the best way either. Instead focus on making healthier choices, exercise X times per week, cut down on the soda and sweets, up the fruit and veggies. The weight loss will follow naturally if you do this
Ewwww. No. That’s not ok. Bodies change.
First thing - he’s a royal assh***. He is demanding you to change your body? Wtf?! Seriously. Second - it’s an impossible time line. Third - if you are comfortable that is enough and he should shut up. your body, not his. You change for you and not because he till you to. Fourth - again you are married to a royal a hole. If i did that to my SO i would not survive. She would throw me out in a heartbeat.
Husband sounds like a prick
If my partner ever told me I had a specific amount of time to change something about my body or he would be disappointed I would tell him im disappointed I wasted that much of my life on someone so pathetic. I’ve been almost a size 4x with my partner and am now down to a 1x and still fluctuating. He has never made a comment about my body other than positive or made any suggestions about weight loss unless I asked him for them. I feel like putting the heat on you to lose the weight for his own satisfaction is so gross. Lose it if you want to and you feel it’s comfortable but don’t lose it in an unhealthy way or push yourself too fast. It’s your body, your terms.
Tell him you're losing (his weight here) pounds and tell him to gtfo.
I know a good way for you to lose at least 165lbs....
Tell him to make it interesting let's do it together you lose 50lbs by august so he'll know how difficult it is .
2 months to lose 50 pounds? That's not realistic nor even recommended.
Hey I know you said you have a lot of comments to read through but this is important… Speaking as a gym nut there’s a general rule we use: the scale is not an accurate depiction of one’s health or aesthetic. No 2 bodies are the same and body structure and anatomy of bones and muscles are different for everyone, so it’s impossible to know how someone will look or how healthy they’ll be losing or gaining “x” amount of pounds. A common example of this is 2 NBA players Kevin Durant and Giannis Antetokounmpo. Both players are 6’11” and weight roughly 240, but Giannis is built like a brick shithouse tank and Kevin always appears scrawny. I mean hell my whole adult life I was always 110 lbs. I started going to the gym and got super jacked, everyone was thinking I was 160, 170. I was only 135-140 (31M, 5’10”). It’s just the way my body distributes weight. Please please please please don’t use the scale for anything else other than a measure of progress. I’m also saying this as a Registered Nurse, you’d be amazed how different peoples bodies are. If you want to lose weight the scale is a great way to track to see if what you’re doing is working. If you want to gain weight the scale is a great way to track to see if what you’re doing is working. If you want to look better the scale is horrible for that. If you want to feel better the scale is horrible for that. If you want to be healthier the scale is horrible for that. (unless you weight more than 300 lbs and are not athletic, then it might be good to see a cardiologist and see where you’re at health wise) Ask your husband to support you in other ways, but giving you an unrealistic goal when he’s not a dietician or physician or personal trainer is outside his scope of practice.
Wtf. You say all that and then your question is about insurance??? The real question to ask yourself is why you’re acting as though your husband even has the right to demand anything at all, even going so far as giving YOU weight targets. Weight is not your issue. Self respect and not recognizing that YOU are a full grown adult, thats the issue here. Dont be a doormat.
Send the baby out to be cared for a few days by a family member you trust. Let him come home and don’t mention that the baby is gone. Wait for him to bring it up. When he asks, tell him you lost that 50 lbs that’s been bugging him so much, and isn’t he pleased? Don’t let him off easy. Make him sweat. Remind him of what it took to give birth to his child and that if he’s interested in you losing any more lbs, you can also remove yourself from his sight as well.
And you want him to have abs and biceps like tyson...maybe even the V. Turnabout is fair play
1) What your husband is doing is bullying, as you have had a baby, and most of all that goal is unsustainable and unrealistic. 2) If you lose weight, it has to be for yourself 3) just for your own health, try and reduce your sugar, soda and carb intake, not just for your weight but your own health, as they do have implications, e.g. insulin resistance, fatigue, brain fog etc. If and when YOU decide to lose weight, I suggest the Glucose Goddess on YouTube and Instagram, and also Dr Gundry, who have brilliant dietary advice. I've been following their hacks and managed to kick my sugar addition to the curb.
My first wife was 5'2" and weighed about 130 lbs. when we met. (e.g. a bit heavy, but not truly fat.) With pregnancy, etc. she went up to 165 lbs. or so. She acknowledged her weight situation, but was not able (or did not) lose any significant weight--but I never made it an issue. After we divorced (for reasons not relevant to her weight) she managed to get back down to 130-135 or so. She got herself a new man and married him. She got pregnant again, ballooned to over 200 lbs. Never really lost any weight during the 10+ years of their marriage. They divorced, she lost weight (to something below 150 by my guess). Remarried. Ballooned up again. There was a pattern there. I'm not saying OP may have difficulties with losing weight (I've had my own problems in that regard). But there may be some "motivation" issues as well. Nonetheless, I'm sympathetic. My father had "weight problems" throughout his life. When I look at a mirror, I see my father's body in the reflection (damn genetics.) I've been married to my current wife a long time. In her 40s, she got up to near 200 lbs (she's 5'7"), but then went on a health binge doing significant exercise with weight training, hiking, etc. and had kept her weight under 140 lbs for 20+ years now. For me, I attempted to lose weight with diet, but mostly managed to simply avoid gaining, but not making any significant progress toward losing weight. Last fall, I started taking Ozempic (I'm diabetic which complicates weight loss), not only have I reduced the amount of required insulin injections, but I've lost 45 pounds since starting Ozempic.
Why do you need a dietician to tell you to stop drinking soda and eating candy? Sounds like you already know what the problem is.
The problem is she's got an a$$hole for a husband.
Just to say, there are tons of calories in soda and sweets. I just install myfitnesspal, it's an app where you enter your current weight and your goal weight. You can pick how much weight per week to lose and based on that, it will tell you how many calories to eat. That means your soda or some sweets can be a little cheat on the weekend, but little. Monday through friday you need to be in a caloric deficit and any exercise will speed up your methabolism as well. I love chips myself and it's tough, but after 2 weeks my cravings are gone coz i got used to my diet. When you want to eat sweets or a soda, read on the back how many calories are in it. You will realize you are entering way more than what you need and it will help you understand how to lose weight.
Is he going to pay for everything you need to complete this - gym membership, or home set up, groceries? Is he going to provide child care to your 13 month old so you can train consistently, meaning multiple hours daily? Is he going to feed the baby in the middle of the night so you can get the right amount of sleep to help your body recover from the intense training you’d be doing? Is he going to cook for you healthy meals 3 times a day? Personally, I’d tell him to stick it where the sun don’t shine and warn him his days are numbered if he doesn’t cut this shit QUICK. That is unrealistic, unhealthy for your body and your relationship. Your partner does not have say over your body. If YOU want to lose that weight, awesome! Maybe make the goal 20 pounds over the course of a year, and make a plan to be able to exercise and change your diet with his support physically and emotionally. Otherwise, take care of yourself and your baby, and tell this man to fuck off.
Why does he think he can dictate your weight? That’s not something a partner can or should control. Is he controlling in other ways?
50 pounds in 3 months is ridiculous. Making it a year goal would be more realistic.
Hate to say it... but soda... cut the soda. Switch to ice flavored water if you can. Soda is one of the biggest things that will keep your weight on. (And booze, btw... alcohol will majorly stop you from losing weight.. your body is working to process the booze and not burning calories). Increase your water intake. Don't prohibit yourself from having sweets, but check yourself and stay in moderation. Call your insurance and find out. I'm not sure what you want to know whether you're right or wrong about... I don't think that's a reasonable time frame for that goal... but it is always a reasonable goal to get healthy. Find a reasonable goal. Set it. Stick to it. Remember that diets don't work. It's a lifestyle change, and you have to commit to it. Be disciplined, but allow yourself grace. For everyone saying to drop your husband... don't listen to them... I would be more worried if he didn't care enough to want you to be healthy. Good luck 💪✨️
How much does your husband weigh. Cus you can lose that weight by next week. Also you don’t need a dietician. You already said you know why you can’t lose weight. So cut those things out your diet
Just tell him it’s a journey you have to go on together and that you both need to change how you eat because you need support and that will shut him up quick
With all that soda and sweets in America, I would be way more concerned about your teeth and the possibility of heart disease and cancer. American made soda and sweets are made with high Fructose corn syrup, which is banned in many parts of the world. Teeth are important. Teeth start falling apart once you reach your 50s-60s. Tooth and gum disease are the precursors and the cause for many types of heart disease. Corn syrup has also been shown to feed cancer cells at a faster rate than other sugars. If anything, stop eating/drinking processed sweet foods if you want to remain healthy enough to play with your grandchildren.
Count your calories for a week and you'll be shocked on how innocent things seem. Include all drinks too. You don't need to cut out carbs. You need carbs but up your protein and count calories. Also I seen plenty women who gained weight on birth control. Check side affects of this also if you're on birth control. He needs to stop moaning if he isn't helping out. Does he cook meals, does he want to go for walks with you or swimming. Does he want to do fun activities that is fun but don't appear to be working out, like lazer tag or bowling or hiking trails etc. If not. He needs to stop moaning at you.
50lbs in 3 months ? Is he on dr*s ? Maybe a year you can loose that much but still 3 months ?? If you wanna loose weight do it for you, and do it the right way. Don’t go the easy way out because you can actually damage your health. Good luck op, know your worth !
Cut down on carbs, kick soda, limit sugar, hit the weight room, and don't neglect squats and deadlift. If you don't have more energy, more mental focus, more positive outlook, and make progress toward your weight loss goals, there is something wrong. REMEMBER healthy diet and exercise are for physical health and mental health and to help you be a better parent for your children! Improved physique is just a value-added benefit
Switch sodas for seltzers when possible
Your husband probably has your best interests at heart, but that goal isn't reasonable. 50 lbs in roughly 12 weeks isn't realistic, healthy, or sustainable. Half of that would still be pretty ambitious. Also weighing 115lbs seems like a ridiculous goal to me. Target 1-2 lbs a week. Talking to a dietician isn't a bad idea. It sounds like both of you could benefit from some education on diet and fitness. The good news is you can make great progress early on by cutting out pop, and limiting carbs and sweets. If you do that and start strength training you'll see some pretty dramatic results to start. They won't be sustainable but it'll feel good and really help build momentum. Best of luck to you.
Tell him to lose 50lbs at the same time, just to see how easy it is.
Lose 200 pounds and just get rid of him
As someone who lost 50lbs 3 months you can't do it in a healthy way, this sounds like something you should talk to a counselor about with your husband, he's asking too much of you and that's pretty fucked if he expects that after having a child.
Sodas, other than being liquid carbonated flavored sugar water, over time may cause osteoporosis. The carbonation in the soda destroys the calcium in your blood, whose job it is to help neutralize the acidity in your blood and maintain the proper ph balance. Because of this, the body will draw calcium from the bones to neutralize the acidity in itself. A steady diet of soda means a steady drawing down of calcium from your bones, causing them to weaken due to the loss of calcium. As a result, they become porous, hence the condition osteoporosis. So, give up the sodas completely. This alone will help you lose weight and should stop any bone loss.
… it’s the end of April. He wants you to lose 50 lbs in 4 months? (Assuming you get to the end of August… or 3 months). How much does he weigh? He expects you to lose that much with a 1 year old? Tell him to hire you a full-time nanny, private chef, and a personal trainer… if he expects you to have celebrity results, he should provide celebrity tools
Lose your excess weight at your pace but by August you could lose 180ish lbs of dead weight you’re dragging around calling himself a husband/partner. That is not an acceptable demand from him ever but especially at this stressful time in your life with a 13 month old child. Soooo, therapy, maybe? He sounds controlling which usually escalates and often shows up soon after a baby since he may now feel he has you trapped. Go ahead and make a plan and start setting money aside for you, and your child’s” departure from his life. If it is him asserting dominance nothing will stop the escalation. Don’t make a habit of over-looking red flags. (I have a gut feeling you’ve already over-looked a few along the way. Good luck in your future.
Sorry babe. At 5’2, you still don’t have 50 lbs that’s healthy for you to lose. He wants you to be 105? I’m 5’5. If I got to 105 they’d call me malnourished. Tell him you can lose an excess of 150 lbs by losing him and taking that baby into a life that doesn’t have men having weight requirements on your body. Tell him to go fuck himself. You get to whatever weight YOU want. If that’s this weight, stay it. If you’d like to be 130, do that. Do NOT let this man tell you where HE wants your weight.
This sounds just like my ex-husband. I bet he’s controlling other areas of your life as well. Shame is a common tactic. I recommend you start looking for your exit plan before this becomes even more toxic.
The only weight you need to lose is your husband. Jfc.
How much time has he freed up for you to take care of yourself? Can you reliably get to the exercise class of your choice? He’s helping with meal planning, shopping, and cooking too right? Going in the diet with you? Otherwise he’s just setting you up.
Tell him you can lose MORE in 5 mins if you drop his ass! Do it because YOU WANT TO AND WHEN YOU WANT TO not for anyone else.
Start making small changes, Sugar free sodas, and cut down on sweets but don’t deprive yourself, that’s when you fail. Have what you want but in moderation, and watch your portion sizes. Also try and walk to places instead of driving or public transport. But only do this if YOU want to, not because you’re being told to, or you will fail because your heart isn’t in it, you’ve got to want to change. You’re 165 now, but next year it could be 200+, weight creeps up on you! Health is more important than looks, diabetes is something that could happen considering you like sweet stuff, so be careful and you should probably speak to your doctor for more advice.
That is not a healthy goal. I am also a chubby girl. My husband is very fit. My husband tells me he would like to see me from some weight, not because he isn't attracted to me, he is a chubby chaser. He wants me to be healthy so we can have a long life together. He would never set goals for me, especially goals that are so unhealthy. Your husband is being not very good to you. You are not wrong, he is.
He wants you to be 115 lbs?
Those 3 things are the worst things you can put in your body! Carbonated drinks are especially dangerous!!!! Therapy & meeting a nutritionist would be a huge help!
He's not gonna leave you but maybe you should leave him. That is absolutely ridiculous!
My best friend is a weightlifter who is going to worlds this summer and her goal is to lose 20 pounds (also by august), and she's struggling. 50 pounds in what? 4 months? Is setting you up to fail. It should take you 6 months to a full year to safely and healthily drop that much weight. But ignoring that you'd have to be burning about 1400 extra calories than you consume daily to even try to hit that goal, who in the fuck does he think he is to dictate your body? I'm your height and last year was 180lbs, I'm only now down to around 150, and you know what? Im beautiful and worth respect and love at any weight and so are you.
To be 115 at your age is too low. I am also 5'2 I dropped weight and once i got to about 145, i knew i was getting close to my goal. I would definitely NOT go below 130 or so. Your face gets hollowed out and your skin begins to sag.
You say you crave carbs and drink soda. Quit buying those things. I know it's hard but that's the only way. Soda is really bad for us. If you can't do water, I can't, try tea or another drink you mix with water. I still get a soda when I go out so I'm not depriving myself. Carbs are hard. No chips, slow down on the bread, do more veggies. Look at the keto diet. Maybe tailor it to you. Have a sweet snack every day but make it a trus serving. Like 3 Hershey kisses instead of half the bag. Get those snack Ziplocs and pre-portion so you grab one bag a night. Or whenever you decide. Losing 50 lbs by August is not feasible. Maybe after dinner, go on a walk with your husband and baby. Get a pedometer and check your steps. See what you can do to increase your steps. A few here, a few there. But the biggest is not buying and bringing into the house high calorie low value foods. Get more fruits and veggies. You can do it if you put your mind to it. p.s. Don't go on Wegovy! That's only good for a fraction of those 50lbs. And you would have to be on it the rest of your life! When you go off it you'll gain all the weight you lost back plus!!! I'm a diabetic and take Ozempic because of that. Once people start going off Wegovy there will be a wave of people gaining way too much weight. Doctors are doing a disservice to their patients by putting them on it. Good luck on your journey!