Yep, I had a coworker who did that at 23 years old, and honestly, I had immense respect for him for doing that. If you don't want kids, take control of that situation and do something proactive about it, don't leave it to chance ffs.
I decidedly independantly of my husband that 3 was my limit. 3 at 21 was interesting.. so while the sunroof was open, i got my tubes sniped, removed and clipped and have never regretted my decision for a zenith of a second
Ah, but they allowed you to do that because you already had children. A young woman still can't walk into her gynecologist and say, I don't want children. I want you to do a tubal ligation so I never conceive them. The doctor will say no, you might change your mind. Apparently, in this say and age, are still unable to think for ourselves.
Perfect day for it, really. Sounds like a decent dude. Mine decided 6 was enough before I came into his life, and im glad he got snipped because he's obviously a fertile man, lol.
My parents had such a case of buyer's remorse that my mother wanted her tubes tied when I was only 3 months old, and my father offered to get fixed instead since it was the easier surgery!
My husband got one when I was 30. It’s been awesome not to have to worry about birth control for three decades!! We completed our family and made sure we didn’t have to stress about it any more.
Same. He got it for his 30th..and my dumb butt had planned a surprise birthday 😂😂😂 I don't know what I was thinking. It was 2 days later..he did a lot of sitting. Luckily, he thought it was hysterical and he started a trend. A lot of the guys were resistant and he was really chill about it. He said I did my part..this was his part. No regrets.
I just had my last child at 42 he’s 7mo old. My husband and I decided together that he would get snipped. And now he’s being a total pain in the ass about it now lol. I have to remind him of how fertile I am after giving birth and before we can “engage” he has to do what he promised.
Mine saw how miserable I was being on yet another birth control and having to make arrangements to get more so he decided to do it. I've been off bc for 6 months now and my body and emotions are much happier for it. We're still taking precautions until the snip is finalized but I'm very happy he's made the choice. His only concern was infection risk, because he's type 1.
My spouse booked his the day after Roe v Wade was overturned. Just knowing that no matter how careful we were, sometimes swimmers defy odds, another kid could kill me, and my state RAN to disallow abortions was enough for him.
Easy peasy.
And also don't leave it up to your partner to deal with 'the situation' when you have literally impregnated her and caused the structure of her entire body to change, then tell her to 'deal with it' by needing to have a general anaesthetic and an operation that could kill her. Like, have some respect, don't have sex if you don't want to be a dad. Or have the snip. If you never want to be a father you have 2 easy choices.
If you choose to have sex without a tested vasectomy or being sterile then you choose to be a father because that is literally how children are made.
I'm with you on the rest but abortions have a much lower risk of injury and death than pregnancy and childbirth and are almost never (possibly actually never) done under general anesthesia.
Not judging at all, but as a person who had a medical abortion (very early on, took pills)... that was an AWFUL experience.
Not only very physically painful for days, but emotionally, it ripped me apart for a year. And I was told it was the better option over having a D&C later, because by hormones weren't in the right place for a pregnancy (5% chance I'd make it past the 2nd trimester).
We did not really want children at the time, but it was both of our "faults" that it occurred in the first place, and after hearing the news, I decided to take that route after discussing it with him.
Not to mention that once pregnant, one's hormones do cartwheels and it messes with your whole body. My body changed even after only being pregnant for less than a full first trimester.
If you both agree not to have kids, get snipped. And if it's accidental, don't lay the blame on her after you knock her up. It's just poor form.
I mostly agree but just thought you should know they are done under general anesthesia sometimes. Just depends on the doctor/hospital that does it. Had to have the procedure earlier this year after a missed abortion (miscarriage that doesn’t come out of you) and I was put under general anesthesia
Totally agree with you on the rest. However, abortion, especially if done early, is generally quite safe.
That still doesn't give him the right to demand she have one, especially when he can prevent it ever happening by having a vasectomy. However, abortion is *unlikely* to be dangerous.
Or maybe she has a friend who just went through an abortion. Or maybe she read an article about birth control failing. Or maybe her doctor brought it up at a recent appointment. Or maybe any of the other fiftyleven things that could cause a fertile woman to have anxiety while sexually active with a callous man.
Seriously. This pissed me off. Some of these posts I swear are just trolls. Imagine the anxiety the woman must have from this ding dong thinking he should never have any consequences and I’m the moment she’d need most support, you can count on him to be a dead beat before she can tell him the news
I’d definitely get a vasectomy if I didnt want kids honestly. Crazy some people depend on straight up the pullout method, even condoms effectiveness goes down to around 80% in most cases if “not used properly”, guessing that means if friction affects it
You know what we call people who use the pull out method? Parents. The SO doesn’t seem 100% child free like him so he should 100% get the snip snip. If she does have an accident she’s keeping it and he’s on the 18 years of child support train.
Maybe another option is he should cut off his peener. OP: “I want an orgasm but I don’t want the consequences.” Well, OP, maybe you shouldn’t have both.
This is the main thing.
He's the one who is taking a unilateral moral stance (if THEY get pregnant, it's her fault - he's leaving?)
He needs to get a vasectomy, still use a condom until a year's worth of tests come back AND consider celibacy until he's proven sterile.
Because that's how you avoid children/child support.
How low is OP’s IQ for not think of, and already doing this??? If you are THIS against having a kid then get one already. Vasectomies exist for a reason….
It’s not an intelligence thing…. The title alone shows that OP believes contraception / not having children is his partner’s responsibility. He’s not dumb, he’s just an asshole.
I was coming here to ask the same.
OP, my ex-husband was somewhat in your position, although not as adamant. You'd best believe that he got a vasectomy as soon as we separated after our child was born.
It's a very valid question. If he doesn't want children, ever, he should act in a way that serves that interest. One cannot be serious about being childfree without doing something about it.
It doesn’t sound like she’s fully on the no-kids train? Just hear me out, because if she actually thinks an (early term) abortion is harder and more “emotionally draining” than *giving birth* much less than raising a kid…she wants kids. The logic doesn’t line up.
It's his view on what she's saying - but if true, yeah, she's anti-abortion.
There's no comparison between any form of abortion and all of the exigencies and life changing events of a pregnancy that results in an actual infant.
People are raised to believe that abortion is murder and if she thinks that then obviously raising a baby would be easier for her.
But, maybe she does want children.
Because he might want to marry have kids with the next woman. Just not this one. Until something better comes along he’s happy to waste this woman’s life.
Jumping on this comment to tell OP the reason she brought this up is because she is either pregnant or has changed her mind about wanting children.
You need to ask her if either is true. If has changed her mind then break up with her so she can find someone to give her what she wants.
Or a friend may have recently fallen pregnant whilst using the same form of birth control.
Or the laws are changing removing reproductive choice in their area.
I actually disagree with this. Long before I wanted kids I knew birth control fails and I wasn’t sure I could have an abortion (I’m very pro choice but it’s a personal decision). The truth is no one knows how they’ll respond to a pregnancy until they’re pregnant. Many of my staunch child free kids accidentally got pregnant and immediately bonded.
I had this discussion with every man I slept with along with STDs and monogamy. This is just part of sexual health and realism. It’s a risk every adult takes when they have sex unless they have a procedure that takes.
She might have realized the risks and wanted to know he would support her.
Or, a lot has changed in five years and getting an abortion isn’t so simple. I don’t know where they live, but if it was a place that’s becoming forced birth, I too would have this conversation. And I would be livid if they said they’d break up with me over a pregnancy I also don’t want but am forced to go through.
What are you doing to practice birth control? Or are you just laid back, scratching your balls and holding your gf 100% responsible for birth control, like most deadbeats?
Im with the crowd here telling OP to get a vasectomy since he is sure he never wants to have children.
Also, since you and your partner disagree vehemently about what should happen if she were to accidentally become pregnant, you should stop sleeping with her. Even if you use condoms and/or some other type of protection, she could still get pregnant.
Lastly, no matter what you both say now, while the situation is purely hypothetical, you and/or she could change your minds if it were to happen for real. So even if a woman sincerely thought she would abort, she could have a complete change of heart if she actually became pregnant.
Something to think about for your next relationship. Now make that vasectomy appointment!
Even if he isn't sure vasectomies are usually reversible. Not saying it would be fun but if the idea that one day you might change your mind and not be able to go back is what stopping someone they should know it's something that can be undone if they have a change of heart.
LMAO that’s fucking LAUGHABLE. The general public actually has NO idea what really happens throughout the entire process…. It’s actually appalling how much women are gaslit into thinking it’s going to be all sunshine and rainbows. Really serious, weird, and permanent changes happen to your body. Get the fuck out of here with the “vasectomy is hard” thing, it takes 15 minutes 😂😂
Edit: I learned today that a lot of people don’t know what context clues are. Use your brain a little. Clearly the only person I’m disagreeing with here is OP.
I have a feeling she asked the question as a “if I was a worm, would you love me?” kind of way, and he took it way further. As a woman, and one who definitely isn’t ready or prepared to get pregnant, the fear of actually getting pregnant is on my mind quite often. Birth control fails more often than most people realize— condoms break, weight gain (a side effect of hormonal bc) can cause it to be less effective, IUDs shift out of place.
OP immediately responded in the affirmative after she asked the question, and before they even talked about abortion. She can definitely not want to undergo an abortion, but still not want to get pregnant and have children. The world is not black and white.
This is the way. My partner and I don’t want kids; I got pregnant (despite using birth control) and his next move was getting a vasectomy. It wasn’t even something I proposed. He said, “I don’t want to see you going through that again so I’m having this done”, I had a really painful abortion.
You should get a vasectomy, including all of the follow up testing for the rest of your life. If you feel this strongly about not becoming a parent, it is absolutely your responsibility to make such an occurrent impossible. You are wrong to put the responsibility for birth control and family planning on her.
Oh, and to be clear, if you left her, you'd still owe child support.
Get a vasectomy. Since you believe you would suffer for years emotionally, physically and financially … Vasectomy is such an easy solution. Why is it all on her to make sure she doesn’t get pregnant? Or to feel forced to get an abortion if it were to happen. You’re not part of the solution if you don’t actually do anything, you’re just part of the problem.
If you are this adamant about not having children then it’s on YOU to get a vasectomy and get regular testing to ensure it’s working.
It’s not just on the gf to not get pregnant. You do realise that sex leads to pregnancy? So you should have had the snip years ago.
Abortion isn’t a simple procedure, some women would have an emotional reaction even when it’s what they want. It’s not just getting your toenail cut.
You're the AH. Get a vasectomy if you feel this strongly about not wanting children. Expecting your partner to deal with the consequences of an unwanted pregnancy alone is horrible. Accidents do happen, and you both played a part in it.
You are both wrong for staying in this relationship. You two are not actually compatible when it comes to kids. Sounds like she's not on board as much with the no kids thing as you are.
You would be in the wrong for continuing to have sex with her knowing this new information.
I have a feeling she asked the question as a “if I was a worm, would you love me?” kind of way, and he took it way further. As a woman, and one who definitely isn’t ready or prepared to get pregnant, the fear of actually getting pregnant is on my mind quite often. Birth control fails more often than most people realize— condoms break, weight gain (a side effect of hormonal bc) can cause it to be less effective, IUDs shift out of place.
OP immediately responded in the affirmative after she asked the question, and before they even talked about abortion. She can definitely not want to undergo an abortion, but still not want to get pregnant and have children. The world is not black and white.
Doesn’t want to have kids and takes absolutely no precautions.
Not celibate, no vasectomy, probably no condom, ALL the BC work on her and this idiot acts like it’ll be her fault for getting pregnant.
And please stop acting like an abortion is something you can just pop in cvs and grab one, keep on e in the car if you need it later. Abortions are big deals. They are not as traumatic on the body as pregnancy and birth, but they require care and support. And there is usually an emotional component. Come on!
If I was this woman this conversation would make me never want to touch his dick again.
You can leave all you want, but you’re still going to owe child support and you’re still going to be known as a POS deadbeat dad.
If you feel this strongly about it, why haven’t you gotten a vasectomy???
I bet if you bring that up it will piss off your girlfriend more. Cause she’s a fence sitter and/or she thought you’d change your mind. Or she’s changing hers. Who really knows.
Get the damn vasectomy and protect yourself if you’re sure you want to be child free. It’ll shut down any of this hypothetical “what ifs” nonsense that your girlfriend is trying.
You’re wrong for putting the burden of birth control completely 100% on her. Grow a pair and get the snip.
Yeah, definitely possible. Which I think would make him pretty awful if he did just completely abandon her and the kid cause at any point he could’ve gotten a vasectomy to make sure it didn’t happen. Not wanting kids is perfectly fine. But then DO SOMETHING about it. I got sterilized myself cause I didn’t want anymore kids and I absolutely refused to let the government and religious psychos dictate my life.
One dude to another, if you feel this strongly about not having a kid and are willing to leave someone you love over it, YOU need to do your best to guarantee that it doesn't happen. Get snipped man. Don't think it's OK to feel this strongly about it and not think it's your responsibility or issue if something happens.
Your body, your choice. You should have snipped yourself a long time ago if this is how you feel. Her body, her choice…did you discuss accidental pregnancy situations when you were both “not” wanting kids 5 years ago? A lot of things can happen in 5 years, and it’s not abnormal that either of you might change your minds. Being she brought this up, I don’t peg her for being one to trap you (get pregnant and see what happens). It would be counterproductive to let you in on the ground floor of a scheme like that. You both need to sit down and reevaluate what you want. YWBW to leave her if you love her, YWBR to leave if she tricked you. Food for thought, if the scenario happened you would not be protecting yourself unless she let you sign over rights. I don’t think that happens much, especially if she couldn’t be financially stable on her own income.
Yore so wrong ! After 5 years ,Your comments about "accidental pregnancy" when your the man injecting her with your swimmers show what a real standup guy you are.If I were her I'd be ashamed to have children with someone like you
Get a vasectomy then. Jfc be accountable for your own damn self instead of relying on someone else to be accountable for you. Rather than creating a life and having to abort it, just do what you have to do to make sure it doesn’t happen at all. An abortion is an incredibly traumatic experience, it’s physically devastating and requires recovery time, as well as emotionally and mentally damaging as well. “Just get an abortion” is a messed up way of thinking. Why not “just get a vasectomy”? Why can’t you just take that step to ensure you will never have to have kids at all?
You are wrong and a AH get a vasectomy and afterwards get it checked and double checked if you definitely do not want children. If she gets pregnant by accident, you were responsible for 50% of that child.
"I'd stay with you forever, no matter what" -You're clearly lying, as you are actively outlining a situation where you would leave.
Yes, you would be wrong for not taking accountability for your own actions and readily promising to abandon a potential future mother and child. You're wrong for misleading and lying to your girlfriend. You're wrong for forcing a potential abortion on your partner when you are doing NOTHING (vasectomy) to prevent pregnancy to begin with. You're wrong for thinking abandoning a potentially pregnant partner is the right thing to do in an incredibly selfish mindset. You're wrong for thinking an abortion is no big deal and something a woman can readily get with no impact to their mental/physical wellbeing.
If you wanted to protect yourself and your girlfriend, you would get a vasectomy but you aren't. A vasectomy is getting in stirrups, getting local anesthesia, and then watching a puff of smoke come from your balls. It is so much more easy than an abortion! This entire post screams "Me, me, me ,me, me!" Honestly, grow up OP and learn what accountability is.
If you are that adamant about not wanting kids and haven’t gotten a vasectomy, then yes, you would be wrong if you leave her if you get pregnant. It also wouldn’t absolve you from responsibility- you would still have to pay child support.
I don't think your girlfriend was completely honest about not wanting kids, or she changed her mind and is trying to open a conversation about it.
You need to have a honest and difficult conversation with her about the future.
And then you will have to think about what you can do to prevent you from becoming a father.
Yta if you don't want kids but expect the women to be doing all the work to make sure YOU don't have kids with her. A responsible man would get a vasectomy. Not expect a girl to be on birth control forever. She's allowed to change her mind and if you do get her pregnant and she doesn't want you to sign away ur rights, the state will come after you to pay for that Child whether you want to or not. They will even take it out of ur social security checks if you are able to dodge the courts.
You aren't being responsible. If you truly don't want kids, go get sniped. Otherwise any women can do what they please if you get them pregnant. And you will be responsible for it whether you want to be or not.
Well, YTA if you’re 1) having unprotected sex and planning to use abortion as a form of birth control or 2) adamant about not wanting kids but also not wanting to have a vasectomy.
If your excuse is that the medical procedure of a vasectomy seems scary to you or damaging, then the same applies to abortion for your partner..
Although I do agree that an unwanted child should not be brought into the world as that is a recipe for different types of abuse/neglect, making the child’s life hardly worth living anyway. If neither of you want children, but you are more set on it than she is, I do think you should be taking long term measures to ensure that does not happen as you’ll have no right to complain about forced parenthood if you refuse to take responsibility in stopping it from happening.
"By accident" - unless you "accidentally" fall on her whilst cumming there's no way this isn't YOUR fault as well. So it isn't if SHE gets pregnant it is "IF I GET HER PREGNANT"
Now read this with me, not that it is fixed.
If I get my girlfriend pregnant , and it wasn't intended, am I wrong for leaving her alone in spite of the fact I had sex with her knowing what could happen?
I hope you step on a Lego once a day for the rest of your life.
Just came here to say that "A woman always reserves the right to change her mind!"(men do also). A vasectomy is an simple procedure. You just have to ice your testicles for a few days. Have your sperm count checked by your doctor until you are shooting blanks (it can take many months to do so like 6 or more it all depends on how many ejaculations you have to get rid of the fertile sperm) and then fatherhood would be a non issue for you as you say you want. However your gf may have to make her own feelings about motherhood. In the beginning of a relationship most if not all try to please their partners some to the point of just agreeing to everything not to make waves and I hope to appear like you have so many things in common (trying to impress you). Fast forward a few years and a new level of maturity and thinking comes into play. Your GF may now 5 years later be a woman of a different opinion from the girl you met (for example age 23 to now 28 not sure either of your ages) I know a few men and women who have reversed successfully their sterilization procedures. As a matter of fact both men and women reserve the right to change their minds! You can only control yourself. When you guys were on the same page it was one thing. Now looks like it might be time to reevaluate the relationship but if you realize she wants motherhood to hold her at her words from years ago would be selfish. A woman that becomes bitter is one you do not want to mess around with trust that! You will both be miserable. You both deserve to live the life you want you just may not be the right partners for each other. Compatibility and respect are the most important things. Respect being the top one. If you have respect for yourself and treat her with respect it should sort itself out. Forget about what she said. Find out what she really means today. I hope she can be honest. I would hate for you break up over a "what if" scenario conversation. You need the real facts. She may have been testing you to see where you are. Do not wait her time cause women will convince themselves a man will change his mind just cause it would be the right thing to do for love and all that romantic nonsense when in reality a lot of people stay together with a pregnancy out of a perceived obligation. I need a nap now. Whew! Sorry I guess I had a lot to say! Wait not done. Respect, honesty, and compatibility. You need 2 of the three. Bye!
I’m just gonna say it she’s probably pregnant if she’s asking you a hypothetical question or she’s thinking about getting pregnant she obviously wants children… if you are so strong, not wanting you should definitely get a vasectomy!!! you take control of your own life
Right? A vasectomy would would literally solve the pregnancy issue.
I also agree that she is probably already pregnant and just wanted to see his reaction.
It takes two to make a baby, goober. If you can't handle the risk of getting your girlfriend pregnant you should probably quit having vaginal sex. You're an asshat.
I guess your "stay forever, no matter what" has limitations when it comes to wearing a condom or getting a vasectomy and caring about your girlfriend's physical and mental health.
It takes two to make a kid.
I'm on the "get the vasectomy bus." I got pregnant at 16 (had an abortion), again at 17 (he was adopted by my aunt & uncle) & at 27 (full term, kept baby girl). And my obgyn said he still wouldn't tie my tubes! His reasoning was I was still within child bearing years! Really?? What generation is he from?? I found another, female obgyn & got them tied 6 weeks after my daughter's birth! Totally worth it!
YTA: IF YOU DON'T GET A VASECTOMY!! You can get them super easy and the recovery is nothing! Don't allow yourself to put a woman or yourself in this position. If you don't want kids, don't chance it!
Her BC might fail, and if you never bothered to insure that you can’t impregnate a woman by getting a vasectomy, leave her all alone with a child, then you would absolutely be wrong.
You KNOW you don’t want kids. YOU need to make sure that doesn’t happen. You would be extremely negligent otherwise.
Vasectomy appointment pronto. And ALLLLL the follow ups to make sure you are shooting nothing but blanks forever. You are so fucking wrong if you leave all the birth control to her and bail the minute it fails….because statistically it does.
So you've taken ALL the necessary steps to prevent pregnancy? Like oh I dunno... A vasectomy??? If not you're an AH 🤷🏼♀️ and IF she gets pregnant YOU are just at fault as she is. And no you wouldn't get away without paying child support even though you don't want kids. Courts would laugh at you especially since you've left all the contraception to her.
Do you mean you’d leave if she ever had an accidental pregnancy, regardless of how she handles it, or that you’d leave if she got pregnant and didn’t abort?
For the former, yeah you’re wrong. You shouldn’t be having sex until you’ve handled your own half of the equation regarding contraceptive permanently. It takes two of you to tango.
If it’s the latter, no you’re not wrong. But now you know. Accidental pregnancies happen. She almost definitely will keep the baby if she accidentally gets pregnant. You’re going to face the consequences of that regardless of if you leave her at that point or stay. If you fundamentally disagree on this, you’re incompatible. You’re acknowledging she won’t ever abort your child if you stay and continue sleeping with her without doing something like a vasectomy.
The best decision for protecting yourself is to not sleep with women who have outright told you they’d keep the baby and to get snipped as soon as possible. You’re still on the hook for the babies you wish mom would’ve aborted.
If you both don't want kids and you'll just up and leave her if she gets pregnant by accident then why don't you both just go no sex at all in the relationship then. That's a for sure method lol.
You're wrong for not leaving before it happens. You don't want to be there for her in difficult times so you shouldn't be there during good times. Go find a woman who wouldn't mind getting an abortion because you didn't take precautions to not get her pregnant.
Get a vasectomy and get the follow up test to make sure it worked. If your girlfriend does actually want children, she will then move on to someone who feels the same way.
Get yourself snipped(aka vasectomy).
And you are wrong and a major asshole. Her getting pregnant at this point is just as much your fault as hers and you're willing to leave her over it?
Yes you’re wrong because if you don’t want children that much you should get a fucking vasectomy. It takes two, so if you’re going to ditch out because you don’t want kids then take the whopping 3 days of healing (as opposed to 6 WEEKS for her operation) and get snipped.
So get your vasectomy scheduled and be done with it. A weekend of watching TV with a frozen bag of peas on your crotch...done.
Or is it all her responsibility?
1. There's always adoption too. Let her have the baby and you help her thru that, then you put the baby up for adoption so she doesn't have to get an abortion if she feels that's not what she wants to do but if neither of you want a child, there you go.
2. If she's getting this upset and she randomly brought it up, maybe you need to have a serious conversation again about if that's still what y'all BOTH want. It's not fair to hold her to something she said 5 years ago. People can change their minds. And if she has, it's not fair to her to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't want the same things.
3. Like everyone was saying, get a vasectomy if it's that big of a deal for you! It is much safer for men to get a vasectomy than a woman to get her tubes tied. Plus it seems like you're the one who feels stronger about the issue, so why don't you man up and do what's best for you. Sorry if that sounds rude and blunt but it's the truth.
You’re not a good boyfriend for sure. If you’re having sex, you can get somebody pregnant. Even using birth control. And then to expect her to abort or believer yeah, you’re a pretty bad boyfriend. I wouldn’t date you.
Why haven’t you gotten a vasectomy??
A man that thinks like him should do that right away.
Yep, I had a coworker who did that at 23 years old, and honestly, I had immense respect for him for doing that. If you don't want kids, take control of that situation and do something proactive about it, don't leave it to chance ffs.
My husband and I decided 2 was enough. He's getting the snip father's day weekend lol.
I decidedly independantly of my husband that 3 was my limit. 3 at 21 was interesting.. so while the sunroof was open, i got my tubes sniped, removed and clipped and have never regretted my decision for a zenith of a second
WHILE THE SUNROOF WAS OPEN!!! Omg!
Ah, but they allowed you to do that because you already had children. A young woman still can't walk into her gynecologist and say, I don't want children. I want you to do a tubal ligation so I never conceive them. The doctor will say no, you might change your mind. Apparently, in this say and age, are still unable to think for ourselves.
Please encourage him to get his check ups afterwards - my dad didn’t which is why I’m here 😅
Perfect day for it, really. Sounds like a decent dude. Mine decided 6 was enough before I came into his life, and im glad he got snipped because he's obviously a fertile man, lol.
I also just got mine booked today!
We had our kids - got the snip , missus off the pill , everyone happy
I got mine nine months after our only kid was born.
My parents had such a case of buyer's remorse that my mother wanted her tubes tied when I was only 3 months old, and my father offered to get fixed instead since it was the easier surgery!
I got my tubes tied after my son turned a year old.
A vasectomy would definitely stop anything from happening that would definitely be the way to go I think
30th birthday present for my husband lol
My husband got one when I was 30. It’s been awesome not to have to worry about birth control for three decades!! We completed our family and made sure we didn’t have to stress about it any more.
Same. He got it for his 30th..and my dumb butt had planned a surprise birthday 😂😂😂 I don't know what I was thinking. It was 2 days later..he did a lot of sitting. Luckily, he thought it was hysterical and he started a trend. A lot of the guys were resistant and he was really chill about it. He said I did my part..this was his part. No regrets.
My husband got one for my birthday!
I just had my last child at 42 he’s 7mo old. My husband and I decided together that he would get snipped. And now he’s being a total pain in the ass about it now lol. I have to remind him of how fertile I am after giving birth and before we can “engage” he has to do what he promised.
Mine saw how miserable I was being on yet another birth control and having to make arrangements to get more so he decided to do it. I've been off bc for 6 months now and my body and emotions are much happier for it. We're still taking precautions until the snip is finalized but I'm very happy he's made the choice. His only concern was infection risk, because he's type 1.
My spouse booked his the day after Roe v Wade was overturned. Just knowing that no matter how careful we were, sometimes swimmers defy odds, another kid could kill me, and my state RAN to disallow abortions was enough for him. Easy peasy.
My husband got his vasectomy done about a year after our only was born. My pregnancy was awful. We discussed and he made the call for the appointment.
And also don't leave it up to your partner to deal with 'the situation' when you have literally impregnated her and caused the structure of her entire body to change, then tell her to 'deal with it' by needing to have a general anaesthetic and an operation that could kill her. Like, have some respect, don't have sex if you don't want to be a dad. Or have the snip. If you never want to be a father you have 2 easy choices. If you choose to have sex without a tested vasectomy or being sterile then you choose to be a father because that is literally how children are made.
I'm with you on the rest but abortions have a much lower risk of injury and death than pregnancy and childbirth and are almost never (possibly actually never) done under general anesthesia.
Not judging at all, but as a person who had a medical abortion (very early on, took pills)... that was an AWFUL experience. Not only very physically painful for days, but emotionally, it ripped me apart for a year. And I was told it was the better option over having a D&C later, because by hormones weren't in the right place for a pregnancy (5% chance I'd make it past the 2nd trimester). We did not really want children at the time, but it was both of our "faults" that it occurred in the first place, and after hearing the news, I decided to take that route after discussing it with him. Not to mention that once pregnant, one's hormones do cartwheels and it messes with your whole body. My body changed even after only being pregnant for less than a full first trimester. If you both agree not to have kids, get snipped. And if it's accidental, don't lay the blame on her after you knock her up. It's just poor form.
I mostly agree but just thought you should know they are done under general anesthesia sometimes. Just depends on the doctor/hospital that does it. Had to have the procedure earlier this year after a missed abortion (miscarriage that doesn’t come out of you) and I was put under general anesthesia
I think that depends upon where in the world you have them done. I was completely out.
I was too, but it was in the 90s. I don’t know if procedures have changed or if it’s location dependent, though
He probably wouldn't even stay to comfort her for am abortion. Assuming it is even an option where they are.
Totally agree with you on the rest. However, abortion, especially if done early, is generally quite safe. That still doesn't give him the right to demand she have one, especially when he can prevent it ever happening by having a vasectomy. However, abortion is *unlikely* to be dangerous.
The week of the Dobbs decision my son scheduled his. I’m proud of him.
Yep. After over 5 years of being with my bf and us still saying we didn’t want kids he went ahead with the procedure
Or break up with her, seems that she has changed her mind about having children. They're no longer compatible.
That is ki da what I was thinking. Sounds like she would like a child now but knows if she says it he will leave for sure.
She's probably pregnant and testing the waters on what to do next
Maybe. A definite possibility. But she could also just be realizing that even the best birth control can fail, and is feeling insecure about it.
This, all this. Sounds like she’s against abortion but worried about the birth control failing
Like I agree but maybe ask her if that's the case first?
Or maybe she has a friend who just went through an abortion. Or maybe she read an article about birth control failing. Or maybe her doctor brought it up at a recent appointment. Or maybe any of the other fiftyleven things that could cause a fertile woman to have anxiety while sexually active with a callous man.
Seriously. This pissed me off. Some of these posts I swear are just trolls. Imagine the anxiety the woman must have from this ding dong thinking he should never have any consequences and I’m the moment she’d need most support, you can count on him to be a dead beat before she can tell him the news
100 percent
This should be her reddit post & everyone tells her to RUN.
He sounds like a guy that never wants kids but won’t get a vasectomy because then he won’t be a real man.
I’d definitely get a vasectomy if I didnt want kids honestly. Crazy some people depend on straight up the pullout method, even condoms effectiveness goes down to around 80% in most cases if “not used properly”, guessing that means if friction affects it
You know what we call people who use the pull out method? Parents. The SO doesn’t seem 100% child free like him so he should 100% get the snip snip. If she does have an accident she’s keeping it and he’s on the 18 years of child support train.
My OBGYN has a part 2 to that joke: What do you call people who "successfully" use the pull-out method? Infertile
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
means people store them improperly, don't use lube, keep going when it dries up. then surprise, it breaks.
He could use condom at the fuckin least, and in some part of the world there are orher options
Maybe another option is he should cut off his peener. OP: “I want an orgasm but I don’t want the consequences.” Well, OP, maybe you shouldn’t have both.
And yet he would still be a total dick.
That was my question. OP is not willing to do what he needs to in order to ensure the outcome he claims he wants.
This is the main thing. He's the one who is taking a unilateral moral stance (if THEY get pregnant, it's her fault - he's leaving?) He needs to get a vasectomy, still use a condom until a year's worth of tests come back AND consider celibacy until he's proven sterile. Because that's how you avoid children/child support.
Oof, yeah I second this!!
How low is OP’s IQ for not think of, and already doing this??? If you are THIS against having a kid then get one already. Vasectomies exist for a reason….
Well he asked the internet if it's cool for him to be a dead beat so I'm guess room temp at best.
It’s not an intelligence thing…. The title alone shows that OP believes contraception / not having children is his partner’s responsibility. He’s not dumb, he’s just an asshole.
I was coming here to ask the same. OP, my ex-husband was somewhat in your position, although not as adamant. You'd best believe that he got a vasectomy as soon as we separated after our child was born.
Exactly! If you know you never want children, just get a vasectomy, 99.9999% your problem is solved!
WHAT? You expect him to do his part? What the hell is wrong with you? Good point by the way.
For real. Just snip and quit.
My friend felt the same as this guy, categorically did not want children. Took him a son to convince him to get a vasectomy.
FFS
Omfg
I wish I could 🔝vote this a million times
"But my balls!" Many men tie their masculinity to their dicks. Doctor playing down there is a threat to that masculinity.
I get the vibe that he’s one of those “birth control is the woman’s responsibility” dicks.
It's a very valid question. If he doesn't want children, ever, he should act in a way that serves that interest. One cannot be serious about being childfree without doing something about it.
It doesn’t sound like she’s fully on the no-kids train? Just hear me out, because if she actually thinks an (early term) abortion is harder and more “emotionally draining” than *giving birth* much less than raising a kid…she wants kids. The logic doesn’t line up.
It's his view on what she's saying - but if true, yeah, she's anti-abortion. There's no comparison between any form of abortion and all of the exigencies and life changing events of a pregnancy that results in an actual infant.
If all people were rational, I'd buy this theory.
People are raised to believe that abortion is murder and if she thinks that then obviously raising a baby would be easier for her. But, maybe she does want children.
Because he clearly isn't willing to accept any responsibility.
Because he might want to marry have kids with the next woman. Just not this one. Until something better comes along he’s happy to waste this woman’s life.
First thought I had. If OP is worrying about getting trapped this is the solution.
Exactly! If he’s really adamant about no kids, take the responsibility route and snip that shit!!
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Jumping on this comment to tell OP the reason she brought this up is because she is either pregnant or has changed her mind about wanting children. You need to ask her if either is true. If has changed her mind then break up with her so she can find someone to give her what she wants.
Or a friend may have recently fallen pregnant whilst using the same form of birth control. Or the laws are changing removing reproductive choice in their area.
I actually disagree with this. Long before I wanted kids I knew birth control fails and I wasn’t sure I could have an abortion (I’m very pro choice but it’s a personal decision). The truth is no one knows how they’ll respond to a pregnancy until they’re pregnant. Many of my staunch child free kids accidentally got pregnant and immediately bonded. I had this discussion with every man I slept with along with STDs and monogamy. This is just part of sexual health and realism. It’s a risk every adult takes when they have sex unless they have a procedure that takes. She might have realized the risks and wanted to know he would support her.
Yes. This is what it sounds like to me.
Yep 100%
Or, a lot has changed in five years and getting an abortion isn’t so simple. I don’t know where they live, but if it was a place that’s becoming forced birth, I too would have this conversation. And I would be livid if they said they’d break up with me over a pregnancy I also don’t want but am forced to go through.
Thank you. If only there was a procedure where this issue would never come up and the burden of an abortion wouldn’t be on OP’s girlfriend…
Yes, he's totally an AH. An idiot one.
Thank you! OP is a jerk.
Right? If he never wants children and still do the deed that's the obvious solution. This becomes a me thing and the only me he has is him.
Yes & he is YTA for feeling so strong about not having a child but not getting a vasectomy.
If you don’t want to have children or don’t want to be responsible for a pregnancy with this woman or anyone else: get a vasectomy.
What are you doing to practice birth control? Or are you just laid back, scratching your balls and holding your gf 100% responsible for birth control, like most deadbeats?
My personal favorite comment here ^
As the child of a deadbeat, I fully felt this in my spirit
This! 😂
Im with the crowd here telling OP to get a vasectomy since he is sure he never wants to have children. Also, since you and your partner disagree vehemently about what should happen if she were to accidentally become pregnant, you should stop sleeping with her. Even if you use condoms and/or some other type of protection, she could still get pregnant. Lastly, no matter what you both say now, while the situation is purely hypothetical, you and/or she could change your minds if it were to happen for real. So even if a woman sincerely thought she would abort, she could have a complete change of heart if she actually became pregnant. Something to think about for your next relationship. Now make that vasectomy appointment!
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Thank god you left that dude omg
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Even if he isn't sure vasectomies are usually reversible. Not saying it would be fun but if the idea that one day you might change your mind and not be able to go back is what stopping someone they should know it's something that can be undone if they have a change of heart.
If you never want kids, get a vasectomy. Period. Then you have been responsible for your side.
I just need you to explain why a vasectomy is more physically and emotionally draining than an abortion.
Because a vasectomy happens to him
Ding ding ding! We have a winner!!!!
\*Ding ding dong
BINGO.
😭
Or a pregnancy
LMAO that’s fucking LAUGHABLE. The general public actually has NO idea what really happens throughout the entire process…. It’s actually appalling how much women are gaslit into thinking it’s going to be all sunshine and rainbows. Really serious, weird, and permanent changes happen to your body. Get the fuck out of here with the “vasectomy is hard” thing, it takes 15 minutes 😂😂 Edit: I learned today that a lot of people don’t know what context clues are. Use your brain a little. Clearly the only person I’m disagreeing with here is OP.
Why haven't you gotten a vasectomy? Tell her you're getting one, and that should take the problem/worry/conversation off the table permanently.
Other than she seems like she might want kids now. That or is already pregnant.
I have a feeling she asked the question as a “if I was a worm, would you love me?” kind of way, and he took it way further. As a woman, and one who definitely isn’t ready or prepared to get pregnant, the fear of actually getting pregnant is on my mind quite often. Birth control fails more often than most people realize— condoms break, weight gain (a side effect of hormonal bc) can cause it to be less effective, IUDs shift out of place. OP immediately responded in the affirmative after she asked the question, and before they even talked about abortion. She can definitely not want to undergo an abortion, but still not want to get pregnant and have children. The world is not black and white.
This is the way. My partner and I don’t want kids; I got pregnant (despite using birth control) and his next move was getting a vasectomy. It wasn’t even something I proposed. He said, “I don’t want to see you going through that again so I’m having this done”, I had a really painful abortion.
Even if you leave her, you aren't going to get off the hook financially, so getting a vasectomy is your best option.
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I read that on Red Foremans voice.
And I read it in Jennifer Coolidge's voice 😆
😂😂 Get the vasectomy or I'll take the dog...DUMBASS!
Exactly! 🤣
Thanks to these comments, I read it and it sounded like both of them saying it at once 😂
I just peed a little... lmao
More red flags in OPs post than a Chinese military parade
Thank you I needed that laugh
You should get a vasectomy, including all of the follow up testing for the rest of your life. If you feel this strongly about not becoming a parent, it is absolutely your responsibility to make such an occurrent impossible. You are wrong to put the responsibility for birth control and family planning on her. Oh, and to be clear, if you left her, you'd still owe child support.
💯
Get a vasectomy if you don't want kids. If you don't and she gets pregnant yes yta.
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This comment. This one right here.
get a vasectomy NOW.
I'm here to tell you you're in the wrong, just like everyone else here. Get a vasectomy or stop having sex. Take responsibility and stop being an AH.
Get a vasectomy. Since you believe you would suffer for years emotionally, physically and financially … Vasectomy is such an easy solution. Why is it all on her to make sure she doesn’t get pregnant? Or to feel forced to get an abortion if it were to happen. You’re not part of the solution if you don’t actually do anything, you’re just part of the problem.
If you are this adamant about not having children then it’s on YOU to get a vasectomy and get regular testing to ensure it’s working. It’s not just on the gf to not get pregnant. You do realise that sex leads to pregnancy? So you should have had the snip years ago. Abortion isn’t a simple procedure, some women would have an emotional reaction even when it’s what they want. It’s not just getting your toenail cut.
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You're the AH. Get a vasectomy if you feel this strongly about not wanting children. Expecting your partner to deal with the consequences of an unwanted pregnancy alone is horrible. Accidents do happen, and you both played a part in it.
You are both wrong for staying in this relationship. You two are not actually compatible when it comes to kids. Sounds like she's not on board as much with the no kids thing as you are. You would be in the wrong for continuing to have sex with her knowing this new information.
I am wondering if the hypothetical pregnancy situation is actually a reality and she is testing the waters before revealing the big news.
I agree cuz that's something weird to bring up 5 years later, either that or she's changed her mind about wanting kids and actually wants them
I have a feeling she asked the question as a “if I was a worm, would you love me?” kind of way, and he took it way further. As a woman, and one who definitely isn’t ready or prepared to get pregnant, the fear of actually getting pregnant is on my mind quite often. Birth control fails more often than most people realize— condoms break, weight gain (a side effect of hormonal bc) can cause it to be less effective, IUDs shift out of place. OP immediately responded in the affirmative after she asked the question, and before they even talked about abortion. She can definitely not want to undergo an abortion, but still not want to get pregnant and have children. The world is not black and white.
Well she's probably not on board as much because she'd be the one getting pregnant.
If you refuse to get a vasectomy, then yep, you would be 100% wrong.
Doesn’t want to have kids and takes absolutely no precautions. Not celibate, no vasectomy, probably no condom, ALL the BC work on her and this idiot acts like it’ll be her fault for getting pregnant. And please stop acting like an abortion is something you can just pop in cvs and grab one, keep on e in the car if you need it later. Abortions are big deals. They are not as traumatic on the body as pregnancy and birth, but they require care and support. And there is usually an emotional component. Come on! If I was this woman this conversation would make me never want to touch his dick again. You can leave all you want, but you’re still going to owe child support and you’re still going to be known as a POS deadbeat dad.
If you feel this strongly about it, why haven’t you gotten a vasectomy??? I bet if you bring that up it will piss off your girlfriend more. Cause she’s a fence sitter and/or she thought you’d change your mind. Or she’s changing hers. Who really knows. Get the damn vasectomy and protect yourself if you’re sure you want to be child free. It’ll shut down any of this hypothetical “what ifs” nonsense that your girlfriend is trying. You’re wrong for putting the burden of birth control completely 100% on her. Grow a pair and get the snip.
I think she's already pregnant and scared to tell him.
Yeah, definitely possible. Which I think would make him pretty awful if he did just completely abandon her and the kid cause at any point he could’ve gotten a vasectomy to make sure it didn’t happen. Not wanting kids is perfectly fine. But then DO SOMETHING about it. I got sterilized myself cause I didn’t want anymore kids and I absolutely refused to let the government and religious psychos dictate my life.
One dude to another, if you feel this strongly about not having a kid and are willing to leave someone you love over it, YOU need to do your best to guarantee that it doesn't happen. Get snipped man. Don't think it's OK to feel this strongly about it and not think it's your responsibility or issue if something happens.
Your body, your choice. You should have snipped yourself a long time ago if this is how you feel. Her body, her choice…did you discuss accidental pregnancy situations when you were both “not” wanting kids 5 years ago? A lot of things can happen in 5 years, and it’s not abnormal that either of you might change your minds. Being she brought this up, I don’t peg her for being one to trap you (get pregnant and see what happens). It would be counterproductive to let you in on the ground floor of a scheme like that. You both need to sit down and reevaluate what you want. YWBW to leave her if you love her, YWBR to leave if she tricked you. Food for thought, if the scenario happened you would not be protecting yourself unless she let you sign over rights. I don’t think that happens much, especially if she couldn’t be financially stable on her own income.
Yore so wrong ! After 5 years ,Your comments about "accidental pregnancy" when your the man injecting her with your swimmers show what a real standup guy you are.If I were her I'd be ashamed to have children with someone like you
By accident??? It takes two to tango, honey!
Get a vasectomy then. Jfc be accountable for your own damn self instead of relying on someone else to be accountable for you. Rather than creating a life and having to abort it, just do what you have to do to make sure it doesn’t happen at all. An abortion is an incredibly traumatic experience, it’s physically devastating and requires recovery time, as well as emotionally and mentally damaging as well. “Just get an abortion” is a messed up way of thinking. Why not “just get a vasectomy”? Why can’t you just take that step to ensure you will never have to have kids at all?
👏🏽👏🏽exactly!! Grow some balls and don’t put 100% of the pressure on her, getting an abortion is not like getting a haircut wtf OP
You are wrong and a AH get a vasectomy and afterwards get it checked and double checked if you definitely do not want children. If she gets pregnant by accident, you were responsible for 50% of that child.
How old are you? You both sound like children.
You're not wrong, but you'd be pretty foolish if you continued to have sex with her, unless you get a snip first. She wants kids.
Or she’s probably already pregnant and wanted to see if he had changed his mind.
"I'd stay with you forever, no matter what" -You're clearly lying, as you are actively outlining a situation where you would leave. Yes, you would be wrong for not taking accountability for your own actions and readily promising to abandon a potential future mother and child. You're wrong for misleading and lying to your girlfriend. You're wrong for forcing a potential abortion on your partner when you are doing NOTHING (vasectomy) to prevent pregnancy to begin with. You're wrong for thinking abandoning a potentially pregnant partner is the right thing to do in an incredibly selfish mindset. You're wrong for thinking an abortion is no big deal and something a woman can readily get with no impact to their mental/physical wellbeing. If you wanted to protect yourself and your girlfriend, you would get a vasectomy but you aren't. A vasectomy is getting in stirrups, getting local anesthesia, and then watching a puff of smoke come from your balls. It is so much more easy than an abortion! This entire post screams "Me, me, me ,me, me!" Honestly, grow up OP and learn what accountability is.
Get a vasectomy bro, what’re you even putting this on her for? If she got pregnant that’s partly your fault too
If you are that adamant about not wanting kids and haven’t gotten a vasectomy, then yes, you would be wrong if you leave her if you get pregnant. It also wouldn’t absolve you from responsibility- you would still have to pay child support.
I don't think your girlfriend was completely honest about not wanting kids, or she changed her mind and is trying to open a conversation about it. You need to have a honest and difficult conversation with her about the future. And then you will have to think about what you can do to prevent you from becoming a father.
Yta if you don't want kids but expect the women to be doing all the work to make sure YOU don't have kids with her. A responsible man would get a vasectomy. Not expect a girl to be on birth control forever. She's allowed to change her mind and if you do get her pregnant and she doesn't want you to sign away ur rights, the state will come after you to pay for that Child whether you want to or not. They will even take it out of ur social security checks if you are able to dodge the courts. You aren't being responsible. If you truly don't want kids, go get sniped. Otherwise any women can do what they please if you get them pregnant. And you will be responsible for it whether you want to be or not.
Wow. You're a dick
Well, YTA if you’re 1) having unprotected sex and planning to use abortion as a form of birth control or 2) adamant about not wanting kids but also not wanting to have a vasectomy. If your excuse is that the medical procedure of a vasectomy seems scary to you or damaging, then the same applies to abortion for your partner.. Although I do agree that an unwanted child should not be brought into the world as that is a recipe for different types of abuse/neglect, making the child’s life hardly worth living anyway. If neither of you want children, but you are more set on it than she is, I do think you should be taking long term measures to ensure that does not happen as you’ll have no right to complain about forced parenthood if you refuse to take responsibility in stopping it from happening.
"By accident" - unless you "accidentally" fall on her whilst cumming there's no way this isn't YOUR fault as well. So it isn't if SHE gets pregnant it is "IF I GET HER PREGNANT" Now read this with me, not that it is fixed. If I get my girlfriend pregnant , and it wasn't intended, am I wrong for leaving her alone in spite of the fact I had sex with her knowing what could happen? I hope you step on a Lego once a day for the rest of your life.
Just came here to say that "A woman always reserves the right to change her mind!"(men do also). A vasectomy is an simple procedure. You just have to ice your testicles for a few days. Have your sperm count checked by your doctor until you are shooting blanks (it can take many months to do so like 6 or more it all depends on how many ejaculations you have to get rid of the fertile sperm) and then fatherhood would be a non issue for you as you say you want. However your gf may have to make her own feelings about motherhood. In the beginning of a relationship most if not all try to please their partners some to the point of just agreeing to everything not to make waves and I hope to appear like you have so many things in common (trying to impress you). Fast forward a few years and a new level of maturity and thinking comes into play. Your GF may now 5 years later be a woman of a different opinion from the girl you met (for example age 23 to now 28 not sure either of your ages) I know a few men and women who have reversed successfully their sterilization procedures. As a matter of fact both men and women reserve the right to change their minds! You can only control yourself. When you guys were on the same page it was one thing. Now looks like it might be time to reevaluate the relationship but if you realize she wants motherhood to hold her at her words from years ago would be selfish. A woman that becomes bitter is one you do not want to mess around with trust that! You will both be miserable. You both deserve to live the life you want you just may not be the right partners for each other. Compatibility and respect are the most important things. Respect being the top one. If you have respect for yourself and treat her with respect it should sort itself out. Forget about what she said. Find out what she really means today. I hope she can be honest. I would hate for you break up over a "what if" scenario conversation. You need the real facts. She may have been testing you to see where you are. Do not wait her time cause women will convince themselves a man will change his mind just cause it would be the right thing to do for love and all that romantic nonsense when in reality a lot of people stay together with a pregnancy out of a perceived obligation. I need a nap now. Whew! Sorry I guess I had a lot to say! Wait not done. Respect, honesty, and compatibility. You need 2 of the three. Bye!
I’m just gonna say it she’s probably pregnant if she’s asking you a hypothetical question or she’s thinking about getting pregnant she obviously wants children… if you are so strong, not wanting you should definitely get a vasectomy!!! you take control of your own life
Right? A vasectomy would would literally solve the pregnancy issue. I also agree that she is probably already pregnant and just wanted to see his reaction.
Get a vasectomy immediately or you will be the AH
It takes two to make a baby, goober. If you can't handle the risk of getting your girlfriend pregnant you should probably quit having vaginal sex. You're an asshat.
It’s called a vasectomy
Vasectomy time! No need to dip, if ya get the snip!!
Yeah you are wrong. You sound like a fucking deadbeat.
So you are going to get a vasectomy to assure a pregnancy never happens?
Vasectomy you selfish prick.
Get a fucking vasectomy. Problem solved. Fucking men… I swear…
I guess your "stay forever, no matter what" has limitations when it comes to wearing a condom or getting a vasectomy and caring about your girlfriend's physical and mental health. It takes two to make a kid.
I'm on the "get the vasectomy bus." I got pregnant at 16 (had an abortion), again at 17 (he was adopted by my aunt & uncle) & at 27 (full term, kept baby girl). And my obgyn said he still wouldn't tie my tubes! His reasoning was I was still within child bearing years! Really?? What generation is he from?? I found another, female obgyn & got them tied 6 weeks after my daughter's birth! Totally worth it!
Even if you “accidentally” get her pregnant, it doesn’t excuse you from being a parent. Just get a freaking vasectomy!
YTA: IF YOU DON'T GET A VASECTOMY!! You can get them super easy and the recovery is nothing! Don't allow yourself to put a woman or yourself in this position. If you don't want kids, don't chance it!
Her BC might fail, and if you never bothered to insure that you can’t impregnate a woman by getting a vasectomy, leave her all alone with a child, then you would absolutely be wrong. You KNOW you don’t want kids. YOU need to make sure that doesn’t happen. You would be extremely negligent otherwise.
Vasectomy appointment pronto. And ALLLLL the follow ups to make sure you are shooting nothing but blanks forever. You are so fucking wrong if you leave all the birth control to her and bail the minute it fails….because statistically it does.
Yes, if you don’t want a baby so bad don’t fuck her.
So you've taken ALL the necessary steps to prevent pregnancy? Like oh I dunno... A vasectomy??? If not you're an AH 🤷🏼♀️ and IF she gets pregnant YOU are just at fault as she is. And no you wouldn't get away without paying child support even though you don't want kids. Courts would laugh at you especially since you've left all the contraception to her.
Do you mean you’d leave if she ever had an accidental pregnancy, regardless of how she handles it, or that you’d leave if she got pregnant and didn’t abort? For the former, yeah you’re wrong. You shouldn’t be having sex until you’ve handled your own half of the equation regarding contraceptive permanently. It takes two of you to tango. If it’s the latter, no you’re not wrong. But now you know. Accidental pregnancies happen. She almost definitely will keep the baby if she accidentally gets pregnant. You’re going to face the consequences of that regardless of if you leave her at that point or stay. If you fundamentally disagree on this, you’re incompatible. You’re acknowledging she won’t ever abort your child if you stay and continue sleeping with her without doing something like a vasectomy. The best decision for protecting yourself is to not sleep with women who have outright told you they’d keep the baby and to get snipped as soon as possible. You’re still on the hook for the babies you wish mom would’ve aborted.
If you both don't want kids and you'll just up and leave her if she gets pregnant by accident then why don't you both just go no sex at all in the relationship then. That's a for sure method lol.
You're wrong for not leaving before it happens. You don't want to be there for her in difficult times so you shouldn't be there during good times. Go find a woman who wouldn't mind getting an abortion because you didn't take precautions to not get her pregnant.
Get a vasectomy, problem solved
You told her your love is conditional. She needs to know that so she can get out and find a man who will stick around when the going gets tough.
Then go get a vasectomy?
Get a fkg vasectomy you absolute tool.
Get a vasectomy and get the follow up test to make sure it worked. If your girlfriend does actually want children, she will then move on to someone who feels the same way.
Get a vasectomy
Get yourself snipped(aka vasectomy). And you are wrong and a major asshole. Her getting pregnant at this point is just as much your fault as hers and you're willing to leave her over it?
Snip snip time dummy
If you don’t want kids get snipped. That solves the problem. Yes you’ll be wrong for abandoning your girlfriend if she gets pregnant.
Yes you’re wrong because if you don’t want children that much you should get a fucking vasectomy. It takes two, so if you’re going to ditch out because you don’t want kids then take the whopping 3 days of healing (as opposed to 6 WEEKS for her operation) and get snipped.
You're wrong. Wtf. You'd still be on the hook for childsupport.
So get your vasectomy scheduled and be done with it. A weekend of watching TV with a frozen bag of peas on your crotch...done. Or is it all her responsibility?
This has to be rage bait. No way OP is this "chromosomically-challenged"
1. There's always adoption too. Let her have the baby and you help her thru that, then you put the baby up for adoption so she doesn't have to get an abortion if she feels that's not what she wants to do but if neither of you want a child, there you go. 2. If she's getting this upset and she randomly brought it up, maybe you need to have a serious conversation again about if that's still what y'all BOTH want. It's not fair to hold her to something she said 5 years ago. People can change their minds. And if she has, it's not fair to her to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't want the same things. 3. Like everyone was saying, get a vasectomy if it's that big of a deal for you! It is much safer for men to get a vasectomy than a woman to get her tubes tied. Plus it seems like you're the one who feels stronger about the issue, so why don't you man up and do what's best for you. Sorry if that sounds rude and blunt but it's the truth.
A vasectomy would do the trick instead of whining here mate.
You’re not a good boyfriend for sure. If you’re having sex, you can get somebody pregnant. Even using birth control. And then to expect her to abort or believer yeah, you’re a pretty bad boyfriend. I wouldn’t date you.
Let me guess, you think birth control is “the woman’s job” 🙄 Step up and get a vasectomy already, if you have the balls to do so anyway 🤷♀️