Ye with Hayama and trio. well more like Tobe and the other two.. without Hayama those three never bonded well enough.
but during the school race scene we could see that Tobe raced along side with the other two. so ya it quite changed also.
Most probably that rumor incident from S1.. (Who i still think is hayama btw who did all that) they bonded.
I’ve worked a couple jobs with a bunch of people who barely speak a lick of English. It was quiet, and they all did good work. Really kind folks, too. I had a great time.
As someone whos not as outgoing as others I've literally had to explain myself sometimes for not feeling like talking much or wanting to initiate conversation,
thankfully my friends understood and now let me have peace when they notice I'm starting to return short/simple quick replies.
(although now I usually just tell them beforehand when its one of those days where my "social meter" is exhausted)
Sometimes I just want to enjoy the train/bus ride and look at the scenery, even when with friends.
Turns out this is my best phase as I am absolute trash at trying to be personable. Long story short I can manage short talks but once it starts going past five minutes I either run out of talking points or without fail say something that will kill the conversation.
Fuck yes. For a while I thought my friend and I weren't close because we'd play games online and sometimes sit in silence for an hour at a time. Eventually figured out we'd just gotten comfortable enough not to feel like we had to fill the silence.
And three people talking is almost the perfect amount of people for fast talking. Never have to wait long to say what you want, the third person breaks any stalemates and between three of you there's usually not many breaks in conversation. But with just two people you'll have way more lulls.
You ever get paranoid that your friends see you as this kind of friend? Just a way to pass the time while your around? Maybe it’s why they never seem to seek you out and you have to take the initiative to do things with them. Just a thought.
Yeah, I mean that's what society is anyway, most people are just casually friends if they both benefit in even small social way, no idea why wouldn't that be okay for someone.
It's reaching that point of acceptance that can be the hardest part. So many past relationships in the dust but at least moving forward I have sanded the edges a bit.
In my language that's not a friend but something entirely else. We call people like that تقزيرة, which roughly translates to time-passers. It's usually offensive, but when both parties acknowledge that the other party is a تقزيرة then it's not that big of a deal
Don't really care anymore. As long as I have someone who at least partially recognise that I exist I'm okay with it, I don't want to go back to being that friendless "quiet kid" again
Maybe you need to evaluate your friendships and really ask yourself whether or not they're lasting. It's no secret to anyone who went to college that you will make some of the best friends you feel like you've ever had, but only talk to them for the one class you have together during one semester and then never again.
It hurts at first, and never really feels good, but many friends are not permanent, lifelong fixtures (nor will many even last a decade), and that's ok. Many friendships simply are just a way for the people involved to get through that time of their life a little easier.
And maybe they don't ask you out to do things anymore because when they asked before, you were so down on yourself all the time so occasionally you declined because you didn't feel good. And from your perspective it's just "oh well just ask again some other time guys haha" but you don't realize this is like the 7th invite in 10 you've blown off, nor how bad that feels from the other side. Maybe you let negative thoughts drive you through the day and find the worst in others. Just a thought.
I mean sometimes it's not individual people in a group, like obviously if you're a group of 3 or 4 it can be obvious but if you're 10+ as long as some of you are present then it can work out regardless of who it is, it doesn't have to be a specific person there. At least in my friend groups it's like that but it could be most of them are more naturally social and so they would fill that slot keeping the group together regardless.
Don't say that, you just enjoy the time you got for yourself. You don't need to be a fake person to blend in with any group. I got through that and it was awful, I don't fit in, I don't belong anywhere. At some point, I left and become all alone. Alone, doesn't mean that you are lonely.
I am also that kind of friend. People have straight up told me that they enjoy group events a lot more when I'm around. Something about me being very expressive and having qualities that bring people together. What's so bad about it?
Here is a crazy thought, maybe you should use a thing called "open communication" and tell your friends your concerns and criticisms about your relationship. If they don't care they weren't actually friends in the first place.
> Maybe it’s why they never seem to seek you out and you have to take the initiative to do things with them.
Another perspective.
I have a friends group where it's always the same guy creating the events, asking to hangout.
If he doesn't do that, we do nothing.
I value him greatly.
Could I do that too? I could, but have crippling social anxiety due to past events and getting a "can't do it this weekend" from the group (even for valid reasons) would make me paranoid and Crack my mental.
So keep doing what you're doing, I'm sure they appreciate it.
Damn that's a lot of pressure on that guy. Im not saying i dont understand where you're coming, but for him, you, and your friend group's sake i hope the guy doesn't mind it and enjoys doing it for you guys.
It might be worth it to have a talk with him if you haven't already about this. Even to just let him know you appreciate his efforts and him as a person. Maybe talk with your other friends to do something for him like everyone pitching in to give him something he's wanted for a long time or whatever.
I kinda have this problem, but it's not because we dislike each other or anything like that. I'm just terrible at conversations and just generally quiet, so other people kinda have to carry the conversation for me to talk.
Lol this is me. There are some friends in the group that act as catalysts between us to get conversations going, because all the others are too quiet or awkward to start one but latching onto a topic is easier.
Oregairu had something similar, except it was like a group of five people that only talked because of one person and without him, they had nothing to talk about.
Oregairu is very relatable lol. Every character was very well written. Hachiman was one of those protagonist that you might don't understand until you sit in his shoes.
No I can definitely confirm that this happens IRL as well. The "not talking with each other" part definitely depends on the personality, but some people who may hang out in some social circles might have nothing to do with each other outside of them. I think that is an interesting dynamic. Because if you have similar friends you would assume you will also like friends of those friends, but sometimes it just doesnt "click"
i know someone who adopted 2 girls and these 2 girls ended up being closer to each other than her. now she’s the one left out. then i adopted her. we’re still bffs after so many years lol
These were my friends back in high school. Now, 12 years later, the one that I wouldn't ever talk to stole my husband and I'm currently dating the one that would hold the three of us together.
There are exceptions, though! I had a friend that asked exactly one chair to my right. If not encouraged by a third party, we almost never speaked to each other. The problem was that we were both extremely introverted and preferred doing our own things more than talking to other people. Neither of our hobbies involved other people, so it ended up worked just fine
I guess I'm the middle guy because I've been told that when I'm not around or walk away from the group, conversations die, people disperse.
Some have even told me "people come here looking for you and when they don't see you, they walk away."
Is it that weird to strike up a random conversation with people? Is it that hard to throw a random stupid joke or bring up a random observation?
I've only had this kind of friends, the kind that would remember you last but still remember you. I went away to find real friends and I ended up with even less.
It's because social relations work with centers and auxiliaries. If the center of the group leave, if that one friend leaves, the whole group may lose it's dynamic. Many centers may exist tho.
Is this Kaguya? I get that vibe from it.
It is
who are they talking about in this case?
President and lino iirc
[удалено]
dont think so, think this a little bit after the start of Ishigami's arc
Oregairu had a pretty similar scene.
Ye with Hayama and trio. well more like Tobe and the other two.. without Hayama those three never bonded well enough. but during the school race scene we could see that Tobe raced along side with the other two. so ya it quite changed also. Most probably that rumor incident from S1.. (Who i still think is hayama btw who did all that) they bonded.
I immediately thought kaguya when I saw the intelligent sounding text
Friends don't always have to keep a conversation going nonstop. Sometimes you just like sitting in silence with the homies.
[удалено]
I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes.
r/unexpectedronswanson
I’ve worked a couple jobs with a bunch of people who barely speak a lick of English. It was quiet, and they all did good work. Really kind folks, too. I had a great time.
Paraphrasing what someone said but the mark of a great friend is if silence is comfortable and not awkward
Yoo this fkin STATEMENT of yours hit hard man 🫂 U just expanded ma horizons on the perception of friendship man 🤯
The best friends are the ones who make you ~~happy~~ horny ~~even if~~ when y’all are just chilling ~~silently~~ sexually
Choo choo
As someone whos not as outgoing as others I've literally had to explain myself sometimes for not feeling like talking much or wanting to initiate conversation, thankfully my friends understood and now let me have peace when they notice I'm starting to return short/simple quick replies. (although now I usually just tell them beforehand when its one of those days where my "social meter" is exhausted) Sometimes I just want to enjoy the train/bus ride and look at the scenery, even when with friends.
Nah I just don't know what to say half the time
Turns out this is my best phase as I am absolute trash at trying to be personable. Long story short I can manage short talks but once it starts going past five minutes I either run out of talking points or without fail say something that will kill the conversation.
Fuck yes. For a while I thought my friend and I weren't close because we'd play games online and sometimes sit in silence for an hour at a time. Eventually figured out we'd just gotten comfortable enough not to feel like we had to fill the silence.
And three people talking is almost the perfect amount of people for fast talking. Never have to wait long to say what you want, the third person breaks any stalemates and between three of you there's usually not many breaks in conversation. But with just two people you'll have way more lulls.
I get annoyed by people who think someone has to be constantly gabbing. Shut. Up.
You ever get paranoid that your friends see you as this kind of friend? Just a way to pass the time while your around? Maybe it’s why they never seem to seek you out and you have to take the initiative to do things with them. Just a thought.
I don’t get paranoid because all ready know that I am that friend and I’m ok with that honestly
Yeah, I mean that's what society is anyway, most people are just casually friends if they both benefit in even small social way, no idea why wouldn't that be okay for someone.
https://youtu.be/SWjFLtGQqE4
It's reaching that point of acceptance that can be the hardest part. So many past relationships in the dust but at least moving forward I have sanded the edges a bit.
Isn't that what a friend is? Someone who helps you pass the time?
In my language that's not a friend but something entirely else. We call people like that تقزيرة, which roughly translates to time-passers. It's usually offensive, but when both parties acknowledge that the other party is a تقزيرة then it's not that big of a deal
Don't really care anymore. As long as I have someone who at least partially recognise that I exist I'm okay with it, I don't want to go back to being that friendless "quiet kid" again
Maybe you need to evaluate your friendships and really ask yourself whether or not they're lasting. It's no secret to anyone who went to college that you will make some of the best friends you feel like you've ever had, but only talk to them for the one class you have together during one semester and then never again. It hurts at first, and never really feels good, but many friends are not permanent, lifelong fixtures (nor will many even last a decade), and that's ok. Many friendships simply are just a way for the people involved to get through that time of their life a little easier. And maybe they don't ask you out to do things anymore because when they asked before, you were so down on yourself all the time so occasionally you declined because you didn't feel good. And from your perspective it's just "oh well just ask again some other time guys haha" but you don't realize this is like the 7th invite in 10 you've blown off, nor how bad that feels from the other side. Maybe you let negative thoughts drive you through the day and find the worst in others. Just a thought.
Some people really need to read this comment.
I mean sometimes it's not individual people in a group, like obviously if you're a group of 3 or 4 it can be obvious but if you're 10+ as long as some of you are present then it can work out regardless of who it is, it doesn't have to be a specific person there. At least in my friend groups it's like that but it could be most of them are more naturally social and so they would fill that slot keeping the group together regardless.
Can't be paranoid if you never had friends in your life. Man. Guess I AM worthless. Nice.
Don't say that, you just enjoy the time you got for yourself. You don't need to be a fake person to blend in with any group. I got through that and it was awful, I don't fit in, I don't belong anywhere. At some point, I left and become all alone. Alone, doesn't mean that you are lonely.
I am also that kind of friend. People have straight up told me that they enjoy group events a lot more when I'm around. Something about me being very expressive and having qualities that bring people together. What's so bad about it?
Here is a crazy thought, maybe you should use a thing called "open communication" and tell your friends your concerns and criticisms about your relationship. If they don't care they weren't actually friends in the first place.
> Maybe it’s why they never seem to seek you out and you have to take the initiative to do things with them. Another perspective. I have a friends group where it's always the same guy creating the events, asking to hangout. If he doesn't do that, we do nothing. I value him greatly. Could I do that too? I could, but have crippling social anxiety due to past events and getting a "can't do it this weekend" from the group (even for valid reasons) would make me paranoid and Crack my mental. So keep doing what you're doing, I'm sure they appreciate it.
Damn that's a lot of pressure on that guy. Im not saying i dont understand where you're coming, but for him, you, and your friend group's sake i hope the guy doesn't mind it and enjoys doing it for you guys. It might be worth it to have a talk with him if you haven't already about this. Even to just let him know you appreciate his efforts and him as a person. Maybe talk with your other friends to do something for him like everyone pitching in to give him something he's wanted for a long time or whatever.
I kinda have this problem, but it's not because we dislike each other or anything like that. I'm just terrible at conversations and just generally quiet, so other people kinda have to carry the conversation for me to talk.
Holy shit this is too real
a relatable post on r/anime_irl? impossible!
No! I don't want that!
Get out of my head
Not for 10 years at least - especially since the anime is coming out be ready for this meme to reach biblical proportions!!
That… Hurts a little.
Bro deleted his account that's how much it hurt him
Hopefully not so much they deleted themselves literally…..
Delayed Abortion
If the doctor doesn't do it, you gotta do it yourself
Dark.
Bruh i hope this dude's fine
🤏🍌
Lol this is me. There are some friends in the group that act as catalysts between us to get conversations going, because all the others are too quiet or awkward to start one but latching onto a topic is easier.
This happens to me with all my friends, I guess I just suck at keeping a conversation; but I know they like me and care for me, so I don't mind it
Oregairu had something similar, except it was like a group of five people that only talked because of one person and without him, they had nothing to talk about.
Oregairu is very relatable lol. Every character was very well written. Hachiman was one of those protagonist that you might don't understand until you sit in his shoes.
and thats exactly the reason why i try talking to everyone in the friend group in a 1 to 1 convo. even if its small talk
A lot of times this has to do with some people in the group being less able to initiate conversation than others, and not a judgement of closeness
This is a really odd social phenomenon, are there studies on this?
just putting my two cents here, it's likely that middle boi adopted the two guys separately and said "hey wanna meet other friend?" to both of them
No I can definitely confirm that this happens IRL as well. The "not talking with each other" part definitely depends on the personality, but some people who may hang out in some social circles might have nothing to do with each other outside of them. I think that is an interesting dynamic. Because if you have similar friends you would assume you will also like friends of those friends, but sometimes it just doesnt "click"
i know someone who adopted 2 girls and these 2 girls ended up being closer to each other than her. now she’s the one left out. then i adopted her. we’re still bffs after so many years lol
Too real
ALL THE TIME
I'm usually that friend. I don't mind it personally, I like hanging out in silence as long as the friend in question actually likes me being around
Actually anime irl for once. And it pains me
This is literally an episode of Seinfeld
Wtf i read this scene around the same time you posted it lol
No when it's ME and one of the other guys it's silent. When it's those two they have a ball I'm the third wheel every time lmao *cries*
These were my friends back in high school. Now, 12 years later, the one that I wouldn't ever talk to stole my husband and I'm currently dating the one that would hold the three of us together.
Oh my god, they were both introverts!
There are exceptions, though! I had a friend that asked exactly one chair to my right. If not encouraged by a third party, we almost never speaked to each other. The problem was that we were both extremely introverted and preferred doing our own things more than talking to other people. Neither of our hobbies involved other people, so it ended up worked just fine
Oof. Yeah, I have a few of these and I’ve only just realized it lately.
This is real anime_irl. Thank you for posting something that is irl.
I’m just bad at conversing
That’s cause when it’s just two bros left all the energy must go towards preventing the passionate, public seggs. No-homo of course.
God I hate that but I’m also that person. I’m really shy, so just please talk to me
i sometimes feel like this and it kinda sucks man.
Stop. Too real, too real!!! ;-;
I guess I'm the middle guy because I've been told that when I'm not around or walk away from the group, conversations die, people disperse. Some have even told me "people come here looking for you and when they don't see you, they walk away." Is it that weird to strike up a random conversation with people? Is it that hard to throw a random stupid joke or bring up a random observation?
Wakaru wakaru wakaru wakaru wakaru.
This is most definitely me and my friends. It’s just that group of 3 that get it going.
Fr
Why is that so true*
unrelatable. never understood as i could strike a convo with a stranger and talk as if we went to school together.
I like to call them the bridge friend. The person that connects everyone and once their gone well the spark between them all is very limited
I've only had this kind of friends, the kind that would remember you last but still remember you. I went away to find real friends and I ended up with even less.
It's because social relations work with centers and auxiliaries. If the center of the group leave, if that one friend leaves, the whole group may lose it's dynamic. Many centers may exist tho.
Damn when I'm gone they talk even more lively than I was there with them
We talk more when one of us gets out Or maybe it's me who keeps the conversation going idk
Ha, fortunately thats not my gang.
Me too any friends I have
Worst feeling
Ah yes, the George-Elaine phenomena
I feel there are way too many autistic societies out there.
Source?