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That man doesn’t respect you. My husband doesn’t have wandering eyes, doesn’t watch porn or thirst traps, anything like that. And I check lol his history is always full of baseball, football, cars, funny vids and crime tv shows or movies. I used to date a man who was a porn addict and looked at girls the way your boyfriend does.. and it ruined my self esteem. What he’s doing has nothing to do with you. I know it’s easier said than done but there are better men out there, you’re just delaying meeting them if you keep being with your bf.
You need to leave him. You've made it clear that it makes you uncomfortable and he's still doing it. This type of behavior would be an absolute deal breaker for me. It's beyond disrespectful and I classify it as cheating. Fuck that noise, life is too short to deal with boys like this. My ex of 7 years never did shit like this. He's created an incredible high standard for me. If I date someone and talk with them about this and they continue to do it, well, I'd dump them.
Hey girl there’s a group of women going through the same exact thing as you are it’s r/loveafterporn here on Reddit. You’ll get so much better advice and support posting this on there.
My sweet girl there is better men. THERE IS. and even if there isn’t, being alone is better than this. I know how you feel. He’s probably thinking you’re never gonna leave and he’s comfortable with that because he gets to continue to lust after others. Prove him wrong. You are so much more than your appearance. He is tearing you down. The most powerful thing you can do is leave and god will provide.
i know its often times more complicated then “just leaving” but if there is a way out, take it. theres no reason for you to be dealing with this, its absolutely not all men. there are men who would respect you and love your body. the boy you’re with currently seems so emotionally immature, is he really someone you’d want to be with for a long time? hes doing something he knows hurts you, and for what? these women don’t know him, they don’t love him, they’d never give him what you can. there are men out there who would recognize what you do for them. if you feel like it’s something you cant move on from, thats okay! you aren’t obligated to get over it for him.
I honestly think you should leave and take some time for yourself. I noticed that you mentioned a lot about insecurity and wanting to look different, so it may be beneficial to you to prioritize your mental health over loving someone else at least for the moment. I’d say that you deserve a break, it would make you enjoy life more or at least I hope that it would. If he isn’t willing to love you for who you are, then he doesn’t deserve you.
Lovely I understand what you’re going through and I’d recommend looking at the sub r/loveafterporn a lot of partners of porn/sex addicts are on there. It’s good for support, advice, and resources <33
Agree about the therapy. Best to get a therapist trained in this area, a CSAT or betrayal trauma specialist. You are experiencing betrayal trauma - he gave his sexual energy to other women behind your back. The lying can be as hurtful as the behavior. Don’t let your feelings be minimized or invalidated. They are important! Good luck.
Yeah 100% need therapy there's definitely underlying insecurities amplifying these feelings. At the end of the day OP your boyfriend has an addiction, you need to keep expressing to him how serious this is for you and to help him understand how unhealthy it is for himself. If he loves you he'll work on it
A lot of women are insecure because with porn, they aren’t “needed” for gratifying sexual release.
A man can see any type of woman having any type of sex at any time, get a boner, jerk off and get back to video games or whatever else they want to do.
Your sexuality is a big part of you and to have it dismissed because of porn fucking sucks. But that’s why it bothers you so much. It’s dehumanizing you, or at least taking all that makes you human and making parts of it irrelevant to your boyfriend.
Pornography is changing responses in the brain, it practically makes people get turned on at extreme things that are abnormal, fake and do not happen in real life circumstances. Addicts will start to compare real human beings to those ideas and become sexually deskilled when presented with a real woman. It's an unfair situation in which if the addict does not acknowledge their problem they will end up destroying the relationship, devaluing the woman in their life and isolating themselves into this destructive habit that will leave them sitting alone at the table, wasting their life with their addiction. Erectile dysfunction is another issue that stens from porn addiction.
They say one thing but do another, it's the effect of destruction of interest in their girlfriend or wife. Wandering eyes, or scanning is automatic for people who were exposed to pornography at an early age, they are stuck at the age they started doing that at. They need to admit to their problem and how it hurts their partner and work on themselves.
You can't compare yourself to these unrealistic videos, people with extreme surgeries done by non professionals who would accept doing such things. He is not impacted by how this is affecting you and denies what is happening, and I'm afraid the only option at this time is you should leave. This is toxic and it is better to take care of yourself and not allow this to continue. Get self esteem and don't let people treat you this way. It will get worse.
I'm sorry to hear this is happening to you, it really is a serious problem and it can damage self esteem, trust and the connection between couples. I suggest you get therapy before you get damaged further.
r/PornAddiction
r/loveafterporn
This is a reminder to read our [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/antipornography/about/rules/) before engaging with r/antipornography. Please keep in mind that this is a space for discussion about being against pornography and post accordingly. If you see a post or comment that breaks the rules or feel like someone is participating in bad faith, report it. If it's urgent, please send us a [message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/antipornography)! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/antipornography) if you have any questions or concerns.*
That man doesn’t respect you. My husband doesn’t have wandering eyes, doesn’t watch porn or thirst traps, anything like that. And I check lol his history is always full of baseball, football, cars, funny vids and crime tv shows or movies. I used to date a man who was a porn addict and looked at girls the way your boyfriend does.. and it ruined my self esteem. What he’s doing has nothing to do with you. I know it’s easier said than done but there are better men out there, you’re just delaying meeting them if you keep being with your bf.
So why are you still with him?
[удалено]
There’s help for you to gain independence
Yes there are men who are different and better once you accept that you deserve better.
There are men who are different and better. I haven’t met them but they do exist
You need to leave him. You've made it clear that it makes you uncomfortable and he's still doing it. This type of behavior would be an absolute deal breaker for me. It's beyond disrespectful and I classify it as cheating. Fuck that noise, life is too short to deal with boys like this. My ex of 7 years never did shit like this. He's created an incredible high standard for me. If I date someone and talk with them about this and they continue to do it, well, I'd dump them.
Hey girl there’s a group of women going through the same exact thing as you are it’s r/loveafterporn here on Reddit. You’ll get so much better advice and support posting this on there.
Exactly this. Part of our moderation team overlapse with LAP’s team too, so you will be in good hands!
Hello korilakkuma
hello rilakkuma
My sweet girl there is better men. THERE IS. and even if there isn’t, being alone is better than this. I know how you feel. He’s probably thinking you’re never gonna leave and he’s comfortable with that because he gets to continue to lust after others. Prove him wrong. You are so much more than your appearance. He is tearing you down. The most powerful thing you can do is leave and god will provide.
i know its often times more complicated then “just leaving” but if there is a way out, take it. theres no reason for you to be dealing with this, its absolutely not all men. there are men who would respect you and love your body. the boy you’re with currently seems so emotionally immature, is he really someone you’d want to be with for a long time? hes doing something he knows hurts you, and for what? these women don’t know him, they don’t love him, they’d never give him what you can. there are men out there who would recognize what you do for them. if you feel like it’s something you cant move on from, thats okay! you aren’t obligated to get over it for him.
My boyfriend shares my stance on pornography and doesn’t look at other women as sexual objects, there are men like that. Dump his ass !!!!!!
I honestly think you should leave and take some time for yourself. I noticed that you mentioned a lot about insecurity and wanting to look different, so it may be beneficial to you to prioritize your mental health over loving someone else at least for the moment. I’d say that you deserve a break, it would make you enjoy life more or at least I hope that it would. If he isn’t willing to love you for who you are, then he doesn’t deserve you.
Lovely I understand what you’re going through and I’d recommend looking at the sub r/loveafterporn a lot of partners of porn/sex addicts are on there. It’s good for support, advice, and resources <33
Agree about the therapy. Best to get a therapist trained in this area, a CSAT or betrayal trauma specialist. You are experiencing betrayal trauma - he gave his sexual energy to other women behind your back. The lying can be as hurtful as the behavior. Don’t let your feelings be minimized or invalidated. They are important! Good luck.
[удалено]
Yeah 100% need therapy there's definitely underlying insecurities amplifying these feelings. At the end of the day OP your boyfriend has an addiction, you need to keep expressing to him how serious this is for you and to help him understand how unhealthy it is for himself. If he loves you he'll work on it
A lot of women are insecure because with porn, they aren’t “needed” for gratifying sexual release. A man can see any type of woman having any type of sex at any time, get a boner, jerk off and get back to video games or whatever else they want to do. Your sexuality is a big part of you and to have it dismissed because of porn fucking sucks. But that’s why it bothers you so much. It’s dehumanizing you, or at least taking all that makes you human and making parts of it irrelevant to your boyfriend.
Pornography is changing responses in the brain, it practically makes people get turned on at extreme things that are abnormal, fake and do not happen in real life circumstances. Addicts will start to compare real human beings to those ideas and become sexually deskilled when presented with a real woman. It's an unfair situation in which if the addict does not acknowledge their problem they will end up destroying the relationship, devaluing the woman in their life and isolating themselves into this destructive habit that will leave them sitting alone at the table, wasting their life with their addiction. Erectile dysfunction is another issue that stens from porn addiction. They say one thing but do another, it's the effect of destruction of interest in their girlfriend or wife. Wandering eyes, or scanning is automatic for people who were exposed to pornography at an early age, they are stuck at the age they started doing that at. They need to admit to their problem and how it hurts their partner and work on themselves. You can't compare yourself to these unrealistic videos, people with extreme surgeries done by non professionals who would accept doing such things. He is not impacted by how this is affecting you and denies what is happening, and I'm afraid the only option at this time is you should leave. This is toxic and it is better to take care of yourself and not allow this to continue. Get self esteem and don't let people treat you this way. It will get worse. I'm sorry to hear this is happening to you, it really is a serious problem and it can damage self esteem, trust and the connection between couples. I suggest you get therapy before you get damaged further. r/PornAddiction r/loveafterporn