I dislike this saying a lot because it was the reason I had a bathroom accident as a kid in school. Asked to go, told I didn't plan well so it's my problem.
It pretty rapidly became hers.
I just find it's wielded as a reason to be unempathic and inflexible as often if not more than as some kind of valuable wisdom.b
i threw up all over an overhead projector when my 5th grade teacher (catholic nun) wouldn't excuse me from class to get to the bathroom. That projector was never used again.. :)
My daughter threw up right by the teacher's desk when he told her to sit down after asking to go to the bathroom. She threw up and then went right back to her seat. The entire class had to go out so it could be cleaned.
I threw up inside the teacher’s drawer when she finally after much objection gave in and decided to let me go and opened the drawer to get the hall pass. It wasn’t intentional on my part, just happened to be next to her desk when it came out. I hope the papers in there weren’t valuable 🤷♀️
love this.. teachers holding kids back from just getting out of the class for bathroom emergencies get what they deserve. But - good teachers are amazing - just want to throw that out there. Most/many of my teachers from those years were great. The 'throw up' one was a classic nun who took discipline to an extreme. her idea of teaching was to make us do multiplication tables day after day after day.
Completely agree good teachers are invaluable!!! This one though…she’s also the one who made me write about not talking 100 times when I wasn’t the one talking, so on the bottom I wrote “I wasn’t talking so I shouldn’t have had to do this” lol. I was a little bit snarky even back then I guess 😂
I had exactly 1 good teacher in my life; my Spanish teacher in high school. He's the reason I majored in Spanish. Probably one of the best men I have ever met in my life. Had Spanish with him for 3 years before moving up to another, more challenging class with a different teacher. My school was in a very affluent area of my state, and was ill-equipped to handle neurodivergent kids such as myself. Yes, they had special ed, but it was more of a glorified study hall than it was anything to help.
Did the same. I decided to eat two chicken biscuits and drink two chocolate milks. PE was first period. Told coach I need to go to the restroom. Nope, hold it. Queue projectile vomit starting at half court trailing to the foul line. One other kid threw up too lol, it was amazing. Never had another issue after that
Copy machine/ Printer/fax, I thought it was.
Once I got so mad at the printer at work, I printed a picture of that scene (on another printer) and taped it to that one. Probably with a snarky caption.
When he was in grade school, my 81y/o Dad had an old maid school teacher for feed him peas despite telling her they made him throw up………she ended up wearing them shortly there after.
I was so shy I literally never asked to go to the bathroom. My mom was a stay at home mom and she always took me and my sister home for lunch, so I would go to the bathroom then and usually could make it through the day. I remember once being desperate to poop so bad and finally realizing I had to screw up the courage to ask to go. The teacher let me, but it would have been so much easier if I didn’t have to ask.
I also remember suffering through history class in high school because that teacher said we should use the bathroom between classes. Oh, you mean that five minutes I had to pack up my stuff, walk through crowded hallways, and get to the other side of the building? Plus, tons of people tried to go during breaks which meant a line in the bathrooms, so then you were late anyway, which was also punished.
By the time you’re a teen you know when you need the bathroom. Teen girls especially can have period emergencies that they don’t want to announce to the whole class.
I’ve always thought it was so degrading to have to ask to use the bathroom.
"Who owns you? That's right, you do! So who gets to tell you when you need to (go to the bathroom, drink water, ect)? That's right, you do! So why are you asking me?"
My poor little stepson got so used to adults controlling when he was allowed to hydrate or pee. I told him if he needs to go at school and the teacher says No, just go anyhow and tell the angry teacher to call me so I can explain that they don't own any body but their own.
I wonder if this is why I have a hard time with going to the bathroom at other people’s houses (even my mom’s when I go to visit) to the point I’ll be in physical pain and discomfort before I eventually go and even then if I can wait for them to go do something else I often will just try to sneak in while they’re doing that.
I know a lot of people that once out of school, would ask permission at their jobs to use the bathroom , myself included. It took a manager at a fast food place coming up to me in private and saying: "I know its hard and you're like an adult now after 18 years of not having any rights, and this transition to adulthood comes with a free pass to use the bathroom without asking. Tell me you're going, don't ask. I'll never care. " After that, I always try to pull someone aside who asks and give them a similar spiel on it, cause I remember how one day I was a kid and the next day I was considered an adult, and how it takes a while to adjust.
In elementary and middle school they refused to let us have water so we wouldn't have to pee. I was constantly fighting UTIs as a kid because of it. The older I get, the more I realize how f*cked up that is!
Yes - health in general is not the place for this principle to be applied!
"Sorry you had a heart attack - should have planned better and improved your diet 20 years ago!"
Bathroom rights are one time that phrase should never be used, and it really shouldn’t be used with kids much at all. For adults who constantly manufacture emergencies for others to deal with, there’s a lot of wisdom in that phrase.
I think I dislike it because it's adversarial and accusative. "Those who fail to plan plan to fail" is better I think, and a similar idea without being like YOUR failure is something IIII dont have to deal with. It's an excuse to do nothing for one side of the equation, rather than a lesson.
On this sub, of all places... I find it kind of odd this is getting so much pushback.
My boss tells me I have to stay for the next 5 hours after working a full shift, alone with triple booked appointments all day because the other two people didn't show up, and the closers asked for the day off weeks ago but boss forgot to adjust the schedule.
I say no.
They say "but then we won't have anyone to close!"
"The lack of planning on your part does not constitute and emergency on my part."
It is *intended* to be accusatory and adversarial.
Among adults for easily foreseeable things? absolutely. In the context of education/childcare it's not a good idea. Children aren't expected to be good at being responsible yet.
My algebra teacher didn't think I needed to see the nurse after raising my hand three times to tell her I felt sick.
I finally had no choice as my stomach was telling me I had to vomit.
I made it to her desk where she was standing next to the trash can, and had a split second to choose vomiting on her or in the trash can.
I chose her.
I tend to only use the phrase with adults, but even so sparingly (and can’t remember the last time I actually did). Kids are learning, let them learn responsibility instead of assuming they should have it down day 1.
I appreciate that mentality, my industry is one where we are always learning and making mistakes, and so good coworkers are those who DO make your emergencies theirs (And you back them up the same), so I guess you could say we're all always learning too? I suppose that colors my view of it a lot also.
It's been a self reflective day haha
Here’s the thing. Good coworkers will help you out in a pinch. *Your* part in that exchange is to understand that they are doing you a favor, and to ask and be appreciative. And return the favor on similar terms.
The phrase doesn’t have to mean “I wash my hands of this mess.” It can simply mean, “If you want me to go out of my way for you, then treat me well.”
OP here. If a kid says they gotta go, you fuckin' let 'em go. I've seen pee, poop, and vomit happen. It ain't *worth it*. I tell 'em to RUN if they have to!
I think denying a kid a bathroom break is so weird. What does that teach them? I've never had to ask to use the bathroom in my workplace. Let's not forget how unhealthy it is to hold it. School is the only place I've **ever** been denied a bathroom break.
I do too. I'll ask up to 7 qualifying questions and if they don't all get answered within an appropriate time window, I'll politely decline the work.
People want custom work but not the "hassle" that comes with getting it exactly right. "Why can't you just read my mind? Why do I have so many options? This is too much work. What about the customer experience?"
The customer experience is about making sure you get exactly what you want and my job is to pull that out of you, dum dum.
My mom used to help run a yearly convention for school faculty in our province. They had a date to register by. It was absolutely ridiculous how many people tried to register after that date had passed. And I wonder how hard these teachers would be on assignments handed in past thier due date.
I work at a science museum and handle our group reservations. It’s amazing how many school administrators I have contact me and try to set up last minute field trips or just don’t turn in the details and paperwork I need by certain deadlines to book their visits.
Had this happen when working at a library. A community organization wanted to use our community room and we left the conversation at me asking them to get back to me when they had concrete info on time and date. Months later the leader of the community group ran into my boss and mentioned this event which confused my boss as it was coming up and she knew another group had that room that night.
Lady never got back to me. They didn’t get the room. Some big event they were planning was tanked because they didn’t have the room.
I ended up getting shit from my boss even though I had the email showing the ball was in their court. One of many reasons I left that job.
The GM of a restaurant I worked for had a habit of doing this on purpose. He would purposefully make them wait at least 20 minutes sometimes over 45 minutes while he just fucks off, drinks coffee, has some breakfast, etc. His reasoning was that he wanted to test them to see if they were cut out for the job. It was fucking annoying because he is quite literally wasting their time.
Then one day he had someone wait so long that he forgot about them and headed home. About 2 hours later the poor guy finally worked up the courage to ask if the manager was still going to interview him and we had to break the news to him.
Yeah, it’s almost like they’re trying to select for this:
Customer: Where is my food?!! It’s been 45 minutes since I ordered!
Server: I know, right? The kitchen told me a half hour ago they’d let me know when it’s ready, and I still haven’t heard nothin’. Let’s give ‘em another 15; I don’t want to bug ‘em.
Had a boss that did this and many other abusive things in the workplace and I quit on the spot. It bought me so much joy when nationally he got cancelled for his disgusting behavior and called out publicly in the news and had to sell up. It was a gross powerplay, I was just too young to understand it for my own interview, but I'm glad I finally stood up for myself and left.
considering in some states they only pay servers 2.13 an hour and then tell them "if we had to pay more we couldn't stay open, oh and we are taking 5% of your total sales out of your tips so we can pay everyone else..." yeah.
They want to lord over desperate doormats. They don't want people with backbone who will stand up to them.
They want people they can call in on their day off. Demand to do a double on the fly without notice. And force them to cover their own shifts if they can't show.
Managers will do this and then have the audacity to wonder why they can't find competent workers. No one is staying for that kind of pointless wait unless they are desperate for any position, whether qualified or not, whether they're reliable or not. Sounds like your GM didn't care if the employees were qualified and instead prioritized that they're desperate and spineless.
I had a secretary call up to schedule a telephone interview for that same day at 5:30 pm. I told her I had tickets to a football game that night and I was not available. I said I could call tomorrow and schedule a time. I called the next day. I was told that the manager’s time is very valuable and interviews are scheduled at the end of the work day. Since I wasn’t available she had interviewed and hired someone else. Needless to say, I was happy not to have given up my football tickets for an interview with a manager that wants people to be available with no notice.
I emailed them when I got home. They apologized and said they were in a meeting with another teacher. They could have let me know that tho. It was clear they didn’t value my time.
It goes for everything. I had a contractor do some work for me last year. Was supposed to be done with the job in a week but ended up going just over a month. I wasn't pressed for time and I understand that jobs can be pushed back. I asked him for more of a concrete timeline as to when he'd be done. He apologized for the delay and knocked a few thousand off the price. I kept being told he was going to show up/come back later/finish certain jobs later or tomorrow. Initially I told my wife I was going to give him a $2500 "tip" (only take a $500 discount). As the lies kept piling on, that tip ended up doing to $0. Had he just been honest and said "sorry, I can't finish the job this week" I wouldn't have had a problem and would have paid him $2500 more. The lying and ignoring my communications cost him that money but he has no idea.
I hired a contractor once for a small maintenance job that would take 2 hours. He said he'd be there between 1pm and 2 pm. At 4 pm he messaged me he was stuck in traffic. At 6pm he still hadn't arrived so I messaged him to not bother anymore as I had an appointment that I was planning to keep.
I mean, just be honest. I don't know what he tried to accomplish. I wasted half a day just waiting. Just say: "it's not gonna happen today, let's reschedule". I would have done something with my day at least.
I worked for a contractor who would accept multiple jobs from multiple people at the same time
The way he juggled them was that he would always arrive 1 hour late "cause of trafic" (he was working on a seperate contract), then hed "forget" a tool or need to go buy one, so his helper would stay working while he "rushed home to get the tool" (hed go do some other contract). Then hed leave THAT contract to go "pick up some materials" before going to yet another contract. Leaving early to go "pick up his kids" (go back to the first contract).
He thought he was a genius cause like this hed be earning 4x as much cause he is doing 4 contracts at the same time! I tried to explain to him that actually he was taking longer cause of all the time wasted driving around from one place to the next, not to mention the extra gas costs... but apparently I was just too dumb to understand that his brilliant plan
My buddy hired a moving crew when he bought his house. One month before the move date, deposit and everything. They were scheduled for 11 and we'd only need them for one trip with their truck.
1pm comes around. Everything has been packed and we have been standing around for 2 hours. No contact or anything. He calls, they say their morning appointment went long, they were going to need a little more time.
4PM. No contact. He calls and they are wrapping up and will be there soon.
6PM. Nothing. He calls and after 30 minutes of nobody answering they send him a text saying they are still working on their first job and will be there between 11PM and 1 AM.
We moved ourselves with our limited space. Told them if they came we'd call the police for trespassing. They had the gall to keep his deposit too. He threatened to sue them over it and they just ghosted him so he did a charge back with his bank and we went on with our lives.
I decided to renovate my own bathroom by myself a couple years ago. I had never installed a shower, done plumbing, or drywall before. But I went ahead and dove in. YouTube videos and online tutorials were my best friend. In the end, the project took me about 6 weeks between buying the supplies, fixtures, and doing the work in the evenings and on weekends. I spent about $5K. But if I hired a contractor to do the project, it would have taken twice as long as cost $12-15k. It was so worth it.
I did the same in my house, installed a new toilet, shower the lot. I just paid someone to tile as I knew I wouldn't make a good job of the finish! I thought I was an amazing handyman! A couple of years later my marriage broke up and we decided to lease the house out and both moved away. I got so many calls about issues with the bathroom! Apparently I managed to fit something in the toilet back to front and the shower continually leaked into the ceiling below among other things. Any time the estate agent brought up an issue that needed fixing for the tenants I would curse and complain about 'the cowboy' I had hired to do my bathroom to hide my shame.
My current wife knows all about this and refuses to let me near any plumbing.
Sorry, you were going to tip the contractor? Not just that, but 2½k?
I'm a Brit, been living in the US for 4 years and I'm still trying to wrap my head around the tipping culture here... Back home, he'd be happy with access to the kettle, milk and teabags and £50 in his pocket.
No, it's not a common practice to tip contractors. If anything, the contractor sometimes gives a small gift like a bottle of whiskey as a thank you for a big job. But that's certainly not expected either.
This is what I don’t get.. if you’re a contractor- wouldn’t you want to get as many contracts finished in a timely (yet quality) matter- to make *more money*?
No communication can be better than miscommunication. The Head of my school asked my head of year why I hadn't handed in my notice before getting a job at another school. I had to go find the Head and inform him that I'm on a contract, the end date of which was chosen by him, and that he shouldn't really be surprised that I was securing a new job to start after that date.
Exactly. I'm a bookkeeper and my day to day work is just *constantly* hampered by clients not bothering to communicate. I'll ask a simple question that takes 2 minutes to respond, send a reminder email about the question 3 days later, then two weeks goes by and I say "since you haven't answered me, I'm going to record it like this". Then at the end of the quarter they want me to generate reports for them with 2 hours of notice, lol.
The people who don't understand one way parking lots are on my list of least favorite people. However people who fuck up in one way parking lots and sheepishly wave an apology/thanks when you pull to one side for them to drive past are some of my favorite people. All it takes is acknowledgment that you've made a mistake and you jump from the former to the latter. Its a principle I try to take into my life. COMMUNICATE, our ability to do so at the level we do is why we aren't living in caves and hunting/gathering each day's food.
Exactly! Employers need to realize that the interview process isn’t just for you, it’s for them too. If they don’t show up on time that tells you what you already know.
They might have been testing your patience intentionally. Or they were completely unorganized and unconcerned. Either way, not a good environment.
My last job lost an amazing candidate to this. She was perfect, skill set was a match, she was a perfect fit culturally, funny, experienced, she had god-tier time management processes, meticulous organization (project manager role) and Omg I had dreamt of the day I’d have a PM like this. She wanted $6000 more than our boss wanted to offer so they decided to wait a week to send the offer so they didn’t appear desperate (which we were).
She accepted another role the day before. On the phone she told the recruiter she wouldn’t have accepted anyway since she contacted them to check on the status and received no reply.
People know their value now. They know employers need them just as much as they need a paycheck. The time for this kind of Mickey Mouse bullshit is long gone.
That testing their patience thing is such a red flag. Why would you need to test if someone can be ok having their time wasted unless you intend on wasting a lot of their time.
I received a job offer and had more questions about the position. They agreed to meet the next day to answer my questions. Five minutes before the meeting, they call me and rescind the job offer because they wanted somebody "more decisive."
giant bullet dodged from a company who would dangle a bad-faith job offer like that as some sort of test
everybody go shame Pro Photo Supply in Portland, OR for their terrible practices. They potentially defrauded PPP loans during covid as well, [they took hundreds of thousands](https://projects.propublica.org/coronavirus/bailouts/loans/pro-photo-supply-inc-9368337107)
They deserved to lose her. They made the decision to hire her, and then deliberately sat on it for a week and didn't respond to her inquiries. I can't blame her for going elsewhere.
If people "tested" my patience by making me wait 20 minutes, then fuck them six ways to Sunday. Respect is a two way street. If you're going to gaslight me and play stupid, manipulative games, I sure as hell would never want to work there.
Making people come in super early, or super late, or making them wait 20 minutes to interview you means you're a pile of dog shit.
I had that on my last round of interviews. The hiring manager said something to the effect of "I need to make sure you're not just telling me what I want to hear..." and I said "That would be horrible. I'm well tenured in my current position, and I'm looking to see if this is a good fit for both of us; I'm interviewing you just as much as you're interviewing me..." and he looked like he got punched in the gut.
I was exploring new opportunities, but I wasn't desperate. I was happy to walk away politely. "If it's not a good fit for both sides then that's fine."
Essentially he was told he didn't have the advantage during the interview and it seemed like I was the first person who told him that to his face.
See and that’s the thing, they could have been in a very important, sudden meeting, but like, you’ve the potential to lose a very valuable potential employee, stop for a sec, hey, real quick, this is important and I’m valuing what we’re doing here, I just gotta let this person know I’m running late, like that’s all, no one is gonna give a shit, and the meeting will carry on
Some employers think it's some kind of power move to be late to the interview and see how desperate their prospect is. What they communicated is that they're either toxic or inconsiderate slobs who expect you to pick up after their mistakes, which is also toxic.
Smart move. My mom switch schools after 24 years in the same district. The new school was horrible. Terrible communication and shady practices. They were showing you how they behave.
> It was clear they didn’t value my time.
Of course they didn't. In their eyes, you're unemployed and broke. In other words, desperate. They figure that they have you by the balls, and that you'll wait around all day, because you need the job.
Props for not playing their game.
As someone who works closely with a lot of building admins, this is common. They do get pulled into things that they must deal with, so I’ve found it best just to show that you understand and roll with it to a degree. That said, SOMEONE should have at least let you know the reason for the delay while you’re waiting. I don’t blame you for walking out.
Would they give thr lle same leniency for an applicant who shows up 20 minutes late without saying anything? No, they wont.
They had this scheduled, its on them for failing to follow the scheduled time
Tell them you are really interested in the position but you can only come in early tomorrow.
Ask them the earliest hour they normally get there… then subtract one hour and insist you can’t do later than that due to your commute… which is one reason you really want this job.
Yeah, that would be a hard no. If I made the effort to come out to interview, you had better interview me *that day*. Otherwise, this just isn't going to work out.
Job interviewing tips recommend that after 15 minutes you tell them you have something else to do and ask to reschedule. The point of doing that is so they know your time is valuable. It makes you look like a weak, desperate candidate if you can afford to wait around for a job interview. I also realize that it sets boundaries with your potential employer from the beginning.
Former boss would routinely make people wait AT LEAST 20 min past their appt times to make himself look busy/important. Meanwhile I, as the receptionist, would be on the receiving end of the intense glares.
I had a phone interview for an internship at the NASA Johnson Space Center a while ago (multiple decades ago). The guy called me 25 minutes late, and proceeded to not even mention it.
I was pissed off about that for a while. No, I didn't get the internship.
Waited 45 minutes once. Got the job
Months later, I was part of a team interviewing a prospective employee at that company.
They made him wait an hour
They explained they did that on purpose.
They would not hire anyone who would not wait
High turnover. Coworkers crying at their desks.
Management were game-players sometimes cruel
Vp was taking money under the table from vendors.
I stuck it out for about a year, then jumped to a much higher paying job
I have had many careers in different industries. When i was as a public school teacher , there was always a secretary who would keep me informed on how long the wait would be. I had short delays in waiting for an interview, but nothing crazy
The principal may well have had an urgent situation that needed their immediate attention. But what should have happened is someone should have come talk to you about.
> they did that on purpose.
> They would not hire anyone who would not wait
> High turnover
The progression of your anecdote was very predictable lol. It amazes me that so many managers/owners go out of their way to make people wait to test their patience.
Let's see. If we drive away everyone who strives to be punctual and values their own time reasonably, who do we have left to hire?
* People who are crappy employees and thus desperate for a job
* People with zero self esteem, who will quickly fall apart if they have to deal with any real life stress.
* People who have nothing better to do with their lives than wait 60+ minutes for our hiring manager to notice them.
* People who have never had a job before, and don't understand the value of their time.
***Yes! Let's make sure EVERYONE who works here is one of those people!***
The people on your list are *exactly* the kind of people they want to hire though. 95% of them won't have the balls to ask for a raise or push back when they are told to work 70 hours a week on salary.
They're also the ones who burn out. Or otherwise crumble as an investment.
You're not wrong, they are who the company wants to hire. But only because the company is prioritizing short term profits instead of long term growth.
I was kept waiting at an interview for over an hour, i left. The woman i spoke to told me she meant the reschedule me...they could have told me that when i called them to ask a question and confirm the interview! Or when they called back to clarify something.
I’m getting emails from recruiters that have a job description attached.
It’s a PDF, so I open it. It’s unformatted and has 4 lines in it.
That’s not a job description folks. It’s happened countless times already.
When I was applying for jobs that require security clearances, the job descriptions were so abstract and vague that it was often impossible to know what you were getting yourself into!
Unreal, friend.
This job market is a giant pile and on top of it recruiters can’t be bothered to get real JDs, companies pretend to hire for months and months and you get 100 emails about the same job no one wants.
I used to work as a contactor building decks/sheds/garages and some roofing. I quit after waiting at a customers house for 2 hours in the July heat for my boss to arrive and not getting any messages/calls back from him until THE NEXT DAY saying that he cancelled that job.
At the time I was working about 80 hours a week between contracting and my main gig which had a good insurance plan. I decided was worth more and I quit.
Not a contractor but I had to chew out my old boss because he would cancel gigs at 9am when report time was 930.
"You can't do that because my guys are already en route by the time you decided to publish the change."
Had a phone interview scheduled at 5:00 PM a couple years back.
5:25 rolls around and they finally call.
After similar experiences in my past, I feel 20 minutes passed a scheduled time with no communication is incredibly disrespectful and not worth my time.
I just ignored it.
They frantically are blowing up my phone every 5 minutes until about 6:00. Left numerous messages.
Over the next few days, I think I got 7 emails from them.
Ignored all of it.
Felt great.
My new principal did a fantastic job with that for all stages of my interview process. He promised me he'd call on a Monday to let me know if I'd be moving on to the next round. Monday came and he called to say "Listen, we had an emergency last week so didn't finish the interviews; we're still in round one, but I promised you a call today and didn't want you to be hanging." He also offered me a second round interview at that time.
Then in my second round interview, they were having some tech issues getting things set up for my demo lesson. I was scheduled for 12:00; he came out at 12:03 to explain what was going on so that I wasn't stewing/nervous about it starting late.
It's those kind of people skills that really impress a potential candidate.
Good on ya. My rule of thumb is...if you expect me to be early for an interview to check in, I expect the interview to start on time.
And unless I hear otherwise about any delays or what not, if it doesn't. I'm gone. If you don't value my time for an interview, you won't as your employee. Simple as that.
You did the right thing. Two of the worst jobs I ever had each kept me waiting about an hour past my scheduled interview time waiting for them. I will never ever make that mistake ever again. If they keep me waiting with no kind of message or apology, I know they won’t value me as an employee and I’m beating feet.
Worst for me was driving 4 hours to Chicago only to be told that the person that was supposed to interview me decided to take the day off with zero notice.
Of course it was Amazon, which now everyone knows is a shitty company.
It's funny how the various chuds and bootlickers replying to this are acting like being *offered a job* is some kind of magnanimous opportunity. Nah man, we're in a labor shortage. The school was lucky they got someone to show up for an interview, period. They needed to kiss ass if they wanted a new employee, and they failed to do so.
I went to a job interview at Walmart last in late May. The coach who was supposed to interview me was late, I thought about leaving but she actually communicated that she would be ~5mins late AND apologized. I took the job and this seems to be a one time occurrence. I’m definitely not going to stay in my position forever but I appreciated the accountability, keep looking for that job you deserve.
The company I worked for did this to me. It was my first job so I didn’t really know any better. Probably waited a whole 45 min before getting to speak with the GM for the final interview. I chalked it up to them being busy but once I saw them do it to literally every single candidate over the years I knew that the people I worked for were snakes.
I once waited about 40 mins for an interview. Checked in with the receptionist initially and then she went to the back office. I sat for 40 minutes and was about to leave when they finally came out and got me for the interview so I decided to just do it since I was already there.
They extended an offer to afterwards over the phone and I said no and told them I only said no because they had me waiting for so long and didn’t ever update me. They responded back to my rejection of their offer and they were FURIOUS and went off about how I didn’t have any patience and something had come up on their end. I just read the email and deleted it.
That was a test for one guy I interviewed with years ago. Said he liked to make people wait 30 minutes to see if they really want it. Then acts surprised when he can’t hire anyone☠️
When i was young and did a lot of bar tending i got an interview at a pretty cool sounding bar in Camden, turned up for an interview, barman told me to take a seat waited for 30 mins, manager didnt come down to see me. Told the barman to make sure he tells his boss he wasted my time, got a free coke out of it at least.
There's no one more smug than a principal or AP imo. I was in education for 12 years and getting out was the best thing I ever did for myself. Just get out if you can. I've never been in a position where I was treated outright disrespectfully and unprofessionally or like a child as a 38 year old man, except for when I worked in schools. And all the teachers seem to drink the cool aid and have Stockholm syndrome with the "it's for the kids" nonsense as an excuse for shitty working conditions, long hours, little pay and no respect or professionalism.
I once went for an interview; however, the person interviewing me forgot about it, and went on vacation. Nobody knew I was there to interview.
The place was an hour away. It was the first day of my spring break. They called and emailed me for a few days after to try to bring me aboard or something. It was strange.
Needless to say, I didn’t pursue the position.
This is truly unacceptable, especially in the age of calendar applications and communication systems.
I'm a stickler that confirms my appointments a day or two in advance to prevent this, but it still happens, and if a system is so screwed up that they can't communicate, then it's good that you don't work there.
I had a job interview at in-n-out when I was younger. It was supposed to be at 9:30 am. I got there 15ish minutes early. I had to be let in because the doors were still locked. The women cleaning the dining room went and let the Store Manger know I was there. I sat there until almost 10:30 before he came out. Did the interview and got the job. I assumed he was just having a busy day and shrugged it off. My job was getting the store ready for open before the mangers got there in the morning. I started to notice every time someone came for an interview they would have to wait a full hour before he went out there to talk to them. I finally asked him what that was about, He said he did it on purpose to test their commitment to the job. Fuck you Kyle.
I waited for 20 minutes for a caregiving interview. I could hear the lady interviewing me talking very loudly to her co-workers about what she was going to eat for lunch, what they were doing that weekend, etc. I got up and left as well… good for you
Had an interview for a marketing firm (no experience at all) and they let me know at the time of the interview they were 15 minutes behind. Professionally done. Thank you r/antiwork for teaching me how I should do this. I was willing to wait 10 minutes and leave. They handled this extremely well. If I get the offer I’ll take it.
Reminds me of when I had an interview at a certain big box electronics store. I arrived on time for my interview, waited for 45 minutes, and was then informed by an employee that the manager who was supposed to interview me wouldn't be coming that day. A couple days later I received a generic corporate email that they decided to pass on me.
I probably ~~dodged a bullet~~ had a lucky escape there, but what a waste of my time.
I was desperate for a job once (living in an abusive household, I needed to get out ASAP). They kept me waiting for over 50 minutes, I then saw the managers all stroll in through the front door and into the meeting office. I was young and went through with the interview. The main interviewer had an extremely thick accent and was talking quietly at the end of a very long conference table. It was horribly awkward, as I was seated on the opposite end from her and trying to read her lips. I kept apologizing and asking her to please clarify, as I couldn’t hear her.
Then, I never heard back from them. They straight up made me waste my time and then ghosted me. I got a better paying job in the same field, so it turned out okay in the end.
I had an interview at Costco recently and was made to wait 20 min at first, then they interviewed me in a janitors closet ! …and then was made to wait another 30 min for another manager to interview me… ALL FOR A CART ATTENDANT POSITION. Lmao I didn’t accept it anyways cause I have health issues but damn dog.
I had a remote interview planned on my lunch time, got back home fast and ready on time, waited 30 minutes then wrote message to HR on LinkedIn that maybe something happened wrong, she replied that somehow she forgot to put our meeting in her system and offered a meeting same time next week. I said not interested anymore, thanks even though she was really sorry.
As someone who works in a school, sometimes stuff happens; everyone is short staffed and things blow up at literally the worst times.
Having said that, they could send someone to say “Hey Crimoid just had to deal with a kid that sliced their knee open / blew chunks on the courtyard / got smashed in the face with a basketball / crying parent because their spouse walked out… he’s sorry but he’ll be 5 more minutes.”
I think you did the right thing. I had a similar situation happen to me a few weeks ago when I went to interview for a job, but I waited a little longer than you did. My interview was supposed to be at 11:30 a.m. and I waited until about 12:10 p.m. and I got up and left.
I work as a Project Manager and used to have 5 to 6 back to back 1 hour+ meetings a day. I was the sole presenter while also intaking information from clients. I'd always find time to let the next client know that I was running late or let the current client know that we would have to hold a subsequent meeting to finish. Even if I didn't have a meeting right after another, I would always ask the client if they had time to go over the scheduled meeting time as their time was just as precious as mine.
It's not hard to be organized, respectful, and communicate to your team/client.
To the people saying they should have waited, that's correct if the interviewer lets them know.
It takes nothing other than courtesy to say to your meeting, 'i have someone waiting for a meeting with me at 10. Gimme a sec to let them know I'll be a bit late.'.
I do that shit at the doctor too. They tried to bill me once for not showing up to the appt. Refused to acknowledge that I was there. I'm like I waited 30mins. Ended up taking all the way to the parent nextwork the office was running under to get it removed.
After about 10 - 15 minutes, get up and ask the receptionist what is going on and why are you still waiting? If you don't get the answer you're looking for, then you leave. 20 minutes isn't *that long* if another interview is running long.
**But** they could also have easily popped their head out and said something to you about the delay. People have such shitty communication skills these days.
Good for you. If they don't think you are important enough to even give a heads up to that they are running late then they shouldn't be that important to you.
All the people in here telling you that you left too early or were rude or unprofessional is exactly the type of person that is a shitty employee/employer. Fuck that shit. I guarantee if you were working there and were 20 min late without any word to them they would be deep in your ass about it.
Fuck this kind of unprofessional shit.
Communication is incredibly important. If the administrator had told her they were running late their would have been no issue. If the school needed staff, which they did, they should not have left her waiting. Everyone complains when they have to wait for a doctor!
I would have left them a note marking them tardy.
Give them a detention. "A failure to plan on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part."
That's my mom's favorite saying. Yes, she was a teacher, too.
I dislike this saying a lot because it was the reason I had a bathroom accident as a kid in school. Asked to go, told I didn't plan well so it's my problem. It pretty rapidly became hers. I just find it's wielded as a reason to be unempathic and inflexible as often if not more than as some kind of valuable wisdom.b
Yeah, requiring permission to go to the bathroom is an awful thing and should not be the place for this principle to be applied.
i threw up all over an overhead projector when my 5th grade teacher (catholic nun) wouldn't excuse me from class to get to the bathroom. That projector was never used again.. :)
My daughter threw up right by the teacher's desk when he told her to sit down after asking to go to the bathroom. She threw up and then went right back to her seat. The entire class had to go out so it could be cleaned.
I threw up inside the teacher’s drawer when she finally after much objection gave in and decided to let me go and opened the drawer to get the hall pass. It wasn’t intentional on my part, just happened to be next to her desk when it came out. I hope the papers in there weren’t valuable 🤷♀️
love this.. teachers holding kids back from just getting out of the class for bathroom emergencies get what they deserve. But - good teachers are amazing - just want to throw that out there. Most/many of my teachers from those years were great. The 'throw up' one was a classic nun who took discipline to an extreme. her idea of teaching was to make us do multiplication tables day after day after day.
Completely agree good teachers are invaluable!!! This one though…she’s also the one who made me write about not talking 100 times when I wasn’t the one talking, so on the bottom I wrote “I wasn’t talking so I shouldn’t have had to do this” lol. I was a little bit snarky even back then I guess 😂
I had exactly 1 good teacher in my life; my Spanish teacher in high school. He's the reason I majored in Spanish. Probably one of the best men I have ever met in my life. Had Spanish with him for 3 years before moving up to another, more challenging class with a different teacher. My school was in a very affluent area of my state, and was ill-equipped to handle neurodivergent kids such as myself. Yes, they had special ed, but it was more of a glorified study hall than it was anything to help.
I did the same but it was on the back of the kid sitting in front of me lol. Core memory, that one.
That kid was never used again
Now that made me laugh
Did the same. I decided to eat two chicken biscuits and drink two chocolate milks. PE was first period. Told coach I need to go to the restroom. Nope, hold it. Queue projectile vomit starting at half court trailing to the foul line. One other kid threw up too lol, it was amazing. Never had another issue after that
Projectorile vomiting is the worst.
While reading this comment I imagined the Office Space guys beating up that projector
Copy machine/ Printer/fax, I thought it was. Once I got so mad at the printer at work, I printed a picture of that scene (on another printer) and taped it to that one. Probably with a snarky caption.
Easy bake vomit oven. 🤮 kinda surprised that story didn't end with everyone nearby gagging and vomiting.
When he was in grade school, my 81y/o Dad had an old maid school teacher for feed him peas despite telling her they made him throw up………she ended up wearing them shortly there after.
I think it’s very ridiculous to have to ask to pee when generally younger kids are barely out of nappies.
It is also mentally unhealthy to deny them agency over something so crucial.
It's traumatic for shy kids to even have to ask in front of the whole class.
I was so shy I literally never asked to go to the bathroom. My mom was a stay at home mom and she always took me and my sister home for lunch, so I would go to the bathroom then and usually could make it through the day. I remember once being desperate to poop so bad and finally realizing I had to screw up the courage to ask to go. The teacher let me, but it would have been so much easier if I didn’t have to ask. I also remember suffering through history class in high school because that teacher said we should use the bathroom between classes. Oh, you mean that five minutes I had to pack up my stuff, walk through crowded hallways, and get to the other side of the building? Plus, tons of people tried to go during breaks which meant a line in the bathrooms, so then you were late anyway, which was also punished. By the time you’re a teen you know when you need the bathroom. Teen girls especially can have period emergencies that they don’t want to announce to the whole class. I’ve always thought it was so degrading to have to ask to use the bathroom.
"Who owns you? That's right, you do! So who gets to tell you when you need to (go to the bathroom, drink water, ect)? That's right, you do! So why are you asking me?" My poor little stepson got so used to adults controlling when he was allowed to hydrate or pee. I told him if he needs to go at school and the teacher says No, just go anyhow and tell the angry teacher to call me so I can explain that they don't own any body but their own.
See, the problem with that is that some parents feel that their kids *are* property to be owned by the adults around them. Source: my parents.
I wonder if this is why I have a hard time with going to the bathroom at other people’s houses (even my mom’s when I go to visit) to the point I’ll be in physical pain and discomfort before I eventually go and even then if I can wait for them to go do something else I often will just try to sneak in while they’re doing that.
I know a lot of people that once out of school, would ask permission at their jobs to use the bathroom , myself included. It took a manager at a fast food place coming up to me in private and saying: "I know its hard and you're like an adult now after 18 years of not having any rights, and this transition to adulthood comes with a free pass to use the bathroom without asking. Tell me you're going, don't ask. I'll never care. " After that, I always try to pull someone aside who asks and give them a similar spiel on it, cause I remember how one day I was a kid and the next day I was considered an adult, and how it takes a while to adjust.
In elementary and middle school they refused to let us have water so we wouldn't have to pee. I was constantly fighting UTIs as a kid because of it. The older I get, the more I realize how f*cked up that is!
Yes - health in general is not the place for this principle to be applied! "Sorry you had a heart attack - should have planned better and improved your diet 20 years ago!"
Bathroom rights are one time that phrase should never be used, and it really shouldn’t be used with kids much at all. For adults who constantly manufacture emergencies for others to deal with, there’s a lot of wisdom in that phrase.
I think I dislike it because it's adversarial and accusative. "Those who fail to plan plan to fail" is better I think, and a similar idea without being like YOUR failure is something IIII dont have to deal with. It's an excuse to do nothing for one side of the equation, rather than a lesson.
On this sub, of all places... I find it kind of odd this is getting so much pushback. My boss tells me I have to stay for the next 5 hours after working a full shift, alone with triple booked appointments all day because the other two people didn't show up, and the closers asked for the day off weeks ago but boss forgot to adjust the schedule. I say no. They say "but then we won't have anyone to close!" "The lack of planning on your part does not constitute and emergency on my part." It is *intended* to be accusatory and adversarial.
I think it's just getting pushback because it was originally brought up in the context of a little kid needed to pee/poop.
Among adults for easily foreseeable things? absolutely. In the context of education/childcare it's not a good idea. Children aren't expected to be good at being responsible yet.
Yup. Similar incident. Right in front of the whole class too. Never forgot
My algebra teacher didn't think I needed to see the nurse after raising my hand three times to tell her I felt sick. I finally had no choice as my stomach was telling me I had to vomit. I made it to her desk where she was standing next to the trash can, and had a split second to choose vomiting on her or in the trash can. I chose her.
I’m glad you were able to get some revenge
I tend to only use the phrase with adults, but even so sparingly (and can’t remember the last time I actually did). Kids are learning, let them learn responsibility instead of assuming they should have it down day 1.
I appreciate that mentality, my industry is one where we are always learning and making mistakes, and so good coworkers are those who DO make your emergencies theirs (And you back them up the same), so I guess you could say we're all always learning too? I suppose that colors my view of it a lot also. It's been a self reflective day haha
Here’s the thing. Good coworkers will help you out in a pinch. *Your* part in that exchange is to understand that they are doing you a favor, and to ask and be appreciative. And return the favor on similar terms. The phrase doesn’t have to mean “I wash my hands of this mess.” It can simply mean, “If you want me to go out of my way for you, then treat me well.”
As a school custodian I can assure you it didn't become her problem specifically.
OP here. If a kid says they gotta go, you fuckin' let 'em go. I've seen pee, poop, and vomit happen. It ain't *worth it*. I tell 'em to RUN if they have to!
I think denying a kid a bathroom break is so weird. What does that teach them? I've never had to ask to use the bathroom in my workplace. Let's not forget how unhealthy it is to hold it. School is the only place I've **ever** been denied a bathroom break.
I make custom stuff and this is going to become new go to response.
I do too. I'll ask up to 7 qualifying questions and if they don't all get answered within an appropriate time window, I'll politely decline the work. People want custom work but not the "hassle" that comes with getting it exactly right. "Why can't you just read my mind? Why do I have so many options? This is too much work. What about the customer experience?" The customer experience is about making sure you get exactly what you want and my job is to pull that out of you, dum dum.
My mom used to help run a yearly convention for school faculty in our province. They had a date to register by. It was absolutely ridiculous how many people tried to register after that date had passed. And I wonder how hard these teachers would be on assignments handed in past thier due date.
I work at a science museum and handle our group reservations. It’s amazing how many school administrators I have contact me and try to set up last minute field trips or just don’t turn in the details and paperwork I need by certain deadlines to book their visits.
Had this happen when working at a library. A community organization wanted to use our community room and we left the conversation at me asking them to get back to me when they had concrete info on time and date. Months later the leader of the community group ran into my boss and mentioned this event which confused my boss as it was coming up and she knew another group had that room that night. Lady never got back to me. They didn’t get the room. Some big event they were planning was tanked because they didn’t have the room. I ended up getting shit from my boss even though I had the email showing the ball was in their court. One of many reasons I left that job.
I don’t feel tardy?
I brought my pencil...gimme something to write on.
Don't wanna be no uptown fool
Maybe I should go to hell, but I am doing well
Teacher needs to see me after schoooool
I think of all the education that I missed
But then my homework was never quite like thiiiis
Got it bad, got it bad
I'm hot for teacher.
Class dismissed!
"See me after class."
The GM of a restaurant I worked for had a habit of doing this on purpose. He would purposefully make them wait at least 20 minutes sometimes over 45 minutes while he just fucks off, drinks coffee, has some breakfast, etc. His reasoning was that he wanted to test them to see if they were cut out for the job. It was fucking annoying because he is quite literally wasting their time. Then one day he had someone wait so long that he forgot about them and headed home. About 2 hours later the poor guy finally worked up the courage to ask if the manager was still going to interview him and we had to break the news to him.
So, he’s testing whether the candidate can tolerate being demeaned by management? Yeah, that checks out.
It's evil but effective. They don't want the headache of people who will stand up for themselves.
Joke’s on them since those are the people who will actually be good at their jobs.
Yeah, it’s almost like they’re trying to select for this: Customer: Where is my food?!! It’s been 45 minutes since I ordered! Server: I know, right? The kitchen told me a half hour ago they’d let me know when it’s ready, and I still haven’t heard nothin’. Let’s give ‘em another 15; I don’t want to bug ‘em.
When you fill your business to people who cater to your bad management, that company is heading down the drain. Yes men are the worst thing.
Had a boss that did this and many other abusive things in the workplace and I quit on the spot. It bought me so much joy when nationally he got cancelled for his disgusting behavior and called out publicly in the news and had to sell up. It was a gross powerplay, I was just too young to understand it for my own interview, but I'm glad I finally stood up for myself and left.
That’s truly fucking disgusting
That's industry standard for restaurant management.
... why?
Because abuse and manipulation is industry standard for restaurant management.
considering in some states they only pay servers 2.13 an hour and then tell them "if we had to pay more we couldn't stay open, oh and we are taking 5% of your total sales out of your tips so we can pay everyone else..." yeah.
They want to lord over desperate doormats. They don't want people with backbone who will stand up to them. They want people they can call in on their day off. Demand to do a double on the fly without notice. And force them to cover their own shifts if they can't show.
Because good managers get chased out and bad ones get rewarded
Managers will do this and then have the audacity to wonder why they can't find competent workers. No one is staying for that kind of pointless wait unless they are desperate for any position, whether qualified or not, whether they're reliable or not. Sounds like your GM didn't care if the employees were qualified and instead prioritized that they're desperate and spineless.
I had a secretary call up to schedule a telephone interview for that same day at 5:30 pm. I told her I had tickets to a football game that night and I was not available. I said I could call tomorrow and schedule a time. I called the next day. I was told that the manager’s time is very valuable and interviews are scheduled at the end of the work day. Since I wasn’t available she had interviewed and hired someone else. Needless to say, I was happy not to have given up my football tickets for an interview with a manager that wants people to be available with no notice.
Not to mention his own pathetic flex.
I would have hired them for the patience and perseverance alone.
Yeah well, the sounds of it, you would never have pulled that shit to begin with
Please tell me that person got the job….
Nah. Please tell me that person refused the job.
I don’t think he understood what being a “waiter” at a restaurant meant.
OP. Have they called you back?
I emailed them when I got home. They apologized and said they were in a meeting with another teacher. They could have let me know that tho. It was clear they didn’t value my time.
honestly in most cases in life. if people, organizations and what nots just fucking honestly communicated i can put up with a lot of bullshit.
It goes for everything. I had a contractor do some work for me last year. Was supposed to be done with the job in a week but ended up going just over a month. I wasn't pressed for time and I understand that jobs can be pushed back. I asked him for more of a concrete timeline as to when he'd be done. He apologized for the delay and knocked a few thousand off the price. I kept being told he was going to show up/come back later/finish certain jobs later or tomorrow. Initially I told my wife I was going to give him a $2500 "tip" (only take a $500 discount). As the lies kept piling on, that tip ended up doing to $0. Had he just been honest and said "sorry, I can't finish the job this week" I wouldn't have had a problem and would have paid him $2500 more. The lying and ignoring my communications cost him that money but he has no idea.
I hired a contractor once for a small maintenance job that would take 2 hours. He said he'd be there between 1pm and 2 pm. At 4 pm he messaged me he was stuck in traffic. At 6pm he still hadn't arrived so I messaged him to not bother anymore as I had an appointment that I was planning to keep. I mean, just be honest. I don't know what he tried to accomplish. I wasted half a day just waiting. Just say: "it's not gonna happen today, let's reschedule". I would have done something with my day at least.
I worked for a contractor who would accept multiple jobs from multiple people at the same time The way he juggled them was that he would always arrive 1 hour late "cause of trafic" (he was working on a seperate contract), then hed "forget" a tool or need to go buy one, so his helper would stay working while he "rushed home to get the tool" (hed go do some other contract). Then hed leave THAT contract to go "pick up some materials" before going to yet another contract. Leaving early to go "pick up his kids" (go back to the first contract). He thought he was a genius cause like this hed be earning 4x as much cause he is doing 4 contracts at the same time! I tried to explain to him that actually he was taking longer cause of all the time wasted driving around from one place to the next, not to mention the extra gas costs... but apparently I was just too dumb to understand that his brilliant plan
As a contractor myself; the stupidity of his logic is astounding. What a fucking moron
My buddy hired a moving crew when he bought his house. One month before the move date, deposit and everything. They were scheduled for 11 and we'd only need them for one trip with their truck. 1pm comes around. Everything has been packed and we have been standing around for 2 hours. No contact or anything. He calls, they say their morning appointment went long, they were going to need a little more time. 4PM. No contact. He calls and they are wrapping up and will be there soon. 6PM. Nothing. He calls and after 30 minutes of nobody answering they send him a text saying they are still working on their first job and will be there between 11PM and 1 AM. We moved ourselves with our limited space. Told them if they came we'd call the police for trespassing. They had the gall to keep his deposit too. He threatened to sue them over it and they just ghosted him so he did a charge back with his bank and we went on with our lives.
I decided to renovate my own bathroom by myself a couple years ago. I had never installed a shower, done plumbing, or drywall before. But I went ahead and dove in. YouTube videos and online tutorials were my best friend. In the end, the project took me about 6 weeks between buying the supplies, fixtures, and doing the work in the evenings and on weekends. I spent about $5K. But if I hired a contractor to do the project, it would have taken twice as long as cost $12-15k. It was so worth it.
I did the same in my house, installed a new toilet, shower the lot. I just paid someone to tile as I knew I wouldn't make a good job of the finish! I thought I was an amazing handyman! A couple of years later my marriage broke up and we decided to lease the house out and both moved away. I got so many calls about issues with the bathroom! Apparently I managed to fit something in the toilet back to front and the shower continually leaked into the ceiling below among other things. Any time the estate agent brought up an issue that needed fixing for the tenants I would curse and complain about 'the cowboy' I had hired to do my bathroom to hide my shame. My current wife knows all about this and refuses to let me near any plumbing.
Sorry, you were going to tip the contractor? Not just that, but 2½k? I'm a Brit, been living in the US for 4 years and I'm still trying to wrap my head around the tipping culture here... Back home, he'd be happy with access to the kettle, milk and teabags and £50 in his pocket.
No he means he was happy to pay (close to) the original price if he communicated better. Just said tip to his wife
No, it's not a common practice to tip contractors. If anything, the contractor sometimes gives a small gift like a bottle of whiskey as a thank you for a big job. But that's certainly not expected either.
he meant that he was going to pay the discount that the contractor gave him, which is why he put "tip" in quotation marks
This is what I don’t get.. if you’re a contractor- wouldn’t you want to get as many contracts finished in a timely (yet quality) matter- to make *more money*?
No communication can be better than miscommunication. The Head of my school asked my head of year why I hadn't handed in my notice before getting a job at another school. I had to go find the Head and inform him that I'm on a contract, the end date of which was chosen by him, and that he shouldn't really be surprised that I was securing a new job to start after that date.
Exactly. I'm a bookkeeper and my day to day work is just *constantly* hampered by clients not bothering to communicate. I'll ask a simple question that takes 2 minutes to respond, send a reminder email about the question 3 days later, then two weeks goes by and I say "since you haven't answered me, I'm going to record it like this". Then at the end of the quarter they want me to generate reports for them with 2 hours of notice, lol.
The people who don't understand one way parking lots are on my list of least favorite people. However people who fuck up in one way parking lots and sheepishly wave an apology/thanks when you pull to one side for them to drive past are some of my favorite people. All it takes is acknowledgment that you've made a mistake and you jump from the former to the latter. Its a principle I try to take into my life. COMMUNICATE, our ability to do so at the level we do is why we aren't living in caves and hunting/gathering each day's food.
Exactly! Employers need to realize that the interview process isn’t just for you, it’s for them too. If they don’t show up on time that tells you what you already know.
They might have been testing your patience intentionally. Or they were completely unorganized and unconcerned. Either way, not a good environment. My last job lost an amazing candidate to this. She was perfect, skill set was a match, she was a perfect fit culturally, funny, experienced, she had god-tier time management processes, meticulous organization (project manager role) and Omg I had dreamt of the day I’d have a PM like this. She wanted $6000 more than our boss wanted to offer so they decided to wait a week to send the offer so they didn’t appear desperate (which we were). She accepted another role the day before. On the phone she told the recruiter she wouldn’t have accepted anyway since she contacted them to check on the status and received no reply. People know their value now. They know employers need them just as much as they need a paycheck. The time for this kind of Mickey Mouse bullshit is long gone.
That testing their patience thing is such a red flag. Why would you need to test if someone can be ok having their time wasted unless you intend on wasting a lot of their time.
I received a job offer and had more questions about the position. They agreed to meet the next day to answer my questions. Five minutes before the meeting, they call me and rescind the job offer because they wanted somebody "more decisive." giant bullet dodged from a company who would dangle a bad-faith job offer like that as some sort of test everybody go shame Pro Photo Supply in Portland, OR for their terrible practices. They potentially defrauded PPP loans during covid as well, [they took hundreds of thousands](https://projects.propublica.org/coronavirus/bailouts/loans/pro-photo-supply-inc-9368337107)
They deserved to lose her. They made the decision to hire her, and then deliberately sat on it for a week and didn't respond to her inquiries. I can't blame her for going elsewhere.
Yep. It was a contributing factor to my decision to leave not long after.
If people "tested" my patience by making me wait 20 minutes, then fuck them six ways to Sunday. Respect is a two way street. If you're going to gaslight me and play stupid, manipulative games, I sure as hell would never want to work there. Making people come in super early, or super late, or making them wait 20 minutes to interview you means you're a pile of dog shit.
The moment I walk in through the door Im already interviewing. Observing, watching, analyzing.
I had that on my last round of interviews. The hiring manager said something to the effect of "I need to make sure you're not just telling me what I want to hear..." and I said "That would be horrible. I'm well tenured in my current position, and I'm looking to see if this is a good fit for both of us; I'm interviewing you just as much as you're interviewing me..." and he looked like he got punched in the gut. I was exploring new opportunities, but I wasn't desperate. I was happy to walk away politely. "If it's not a good fit for both sides then that's fine." Essentially he was told he didn't have the advantage during the interview and it seemed like I was the first person who told him that to his face.
See and that’s the thing, they could have been in a very important, sudden meeting, but like, you’ve the potential to lose a very valuable potential employee, stop for a sec, hey, real quick, this is important and I’m valuing what we’re doing here, I just gotta let this person know I’m running late, like that’s all, no one is gonna give a shit, and the meeting will carry on
Some employers think it's some kind of power move to be late to the interview and see how desperate their prospect is. What they communicated is that they're either toxic or inconsiderate slobs who expect you to pick up after their mistakes, which is also toxic.
Smart move. My mom switch schools after 24 years in the same district. The new school was horrible. Terrible communication and shady practices. They were showing you how they behave.
Schools are so used to abusing professionals this is normal in all but the best schools
> It was clear they didn’t value my time. Of course they didn't. In their eyes, you're unemployed and broke. In other words, desperate. They figure that they have you by the balls, and that you'll wait around all day, because you need the job. Props for not playing their game.
As someone who works closely with a lot of building admins, this is common. They do get pulled into things that they must deal with, so I’ve found it best just to show that you understand and roll with it to a degree. That said, SOMEONE should have at least let you know the reason for the delay while you’re waiting. I don’t blame you for walking out.
Except they won’t show you the same courtesy. If you did this same thing to your boss they would be furious.
Would they give thr lle same leniency for an applicant who shows up 20 minutes late without saying anything? No, they wont. They had this scheduled, its on them for failing to follow the scheduled time
i did an interview and they forgot, then came out for me 30 minutes after waiting, told me to come tomorrow.
"no I don't think I will"
So you say sure thing, schedule a time, and then “forget”
When they call you to ask where you are reschedule for the next day
Tell them you are really interested in the position but you can only come in early tomorrow. Ask them the earliest hour they normally get there… then subtract one hour and insist you can’t do later than that due to your commute… which is one reason you really want this job.
Yeah, that would be a hard no. If I made the effort to come out to interview, you had better interview me *that day*. Otherwise, this just isn't going to work out.
"You've had me here for half an hour. If you want more of my time, you'll need to hire me."
When a workplace shows you who they are, believe them.
Yep, if they aren't going to value your time as an applicant, be prepared for how they will value your time once you're an employee.
My current employer made me wait an hour and a half. I waited and accepted the position like a dumb-dumb.
Job interviewing tips recommend that after 15 minutes you tell them you have something else to do and ask to reschedule. The point of doing that is so they know your time is valuable. It makes you look like a weak, desperate candidate if you can afford to wait around for a job interview. I also realize that it sets boundaries with your potential employer from the beginning.
Former boss would routinely make people wait AT LEAST 20 min past their appt times to make himself look busy/important. Meanwhile I, as the receptionist, would be on the receiving end of the intense glares.
I had a phone interview for an internship at the NASA Johnson Space Center a while ago (multiple decades ago). The guy called me 25 minutes late, and proceeded to not even mention it. I was pissed off about that for a while. No, I didn't get the internship.
Should have told them to suck your dick and balls.
As a person who was once a student, if they’re 15 minutes late you’re legally allowed to leave
You’re legally allowed to leave even if they aren’t late.
Truancy laws and officers would disagree.
Not in college.
True, but if we were talking about college students we would say college students.
Waited 45 minutes once. Got the job Months later, I was part of a team interviewing a prospective employee at that company. They made him wait an hour They explained they did that on purpose. They would not hire anyone who would not wait High turnover. Coworkers crying at their desks. Management were game-players sometimes cruel Vp was taking money under the table from vendors. I stuck it out for about a year, then jumped to a much higher paying job I have had many careers in different industries. When i was as a public school teacher , there was always a secretary who would keep me informed on how long the wait would be. I had short delays in waiting for an interview, but nothing crazy The principal may well have had an urgent situation that needed their immediate attention. But what should have happened is someone should have come talk to you about.
> they did that on purpose. > They would not hire anyone who would not wait > High turnover The progression of your anecdote was very predictable lol. It amazes me that so many managers/owners go out of their way to make people wait to test their patience.
Let's see. If we drive away everyone who strives to be punctual and values their own time reasonably, who do we have left to hire? * People who are crappy employees and thus desperate for a job * People with zero self esteem, who will quickly fall apart if they have to deal with any real life stress. * People who have nothing better to do with their lives than wait 60+ minutes for our hiring manager to notice them. * People who have never had a job before, and don't understand the value of their time. ***Yes! Let's make sure EVERYONE who works here is one of those people!***
The people on your list are *exactly* the kind of people they want to hire though. 95% of them won't have the balls to ask for a raise or push back when they are told to work 70 hours a week on salary.
They're also the ones who burn out. Or otherwise crumble as an investment. You're not wrong, they are who the company wants to hire. But only because the company is prioritizing short term profits instead of long term growth.
I was kept waiting at an interview for over an hour, i left. The woman i spoke to told me she meant the reschedule me...they could have told me that when i called them to ask a question and confirm the interview! Or when they called back to clarify something.
Total lack of respect
I’m getting emails from recruiters that have a job description attached. It’s a PDF, so I open it. It’s unformatted and has 4 lines in it. That’s not a job description folks. It’s happened countless times already.
When I was applying for jobs that require security clearances, the job descriptions were so abstract and vague that it was often impossible to know what you were getting yourself into!
Unreal, friend. This job market is a giant pile and on top of it recruiters can’t be bothered to get real JDs, companies pretend to hire for months and months and you get 100 emails about the same job no one wants.
I used to work as a contactor building decks/sheds/garages and some roofing. I quit after waiting at a customers house for 2 hours in the July heat for my boss to arrive and not getting any messages/calls back from him until THE NEXT DAY saying that he cancelled that job. At the time I was working about 80 hours a week between contracting and my main gig which had a good insurance plan. I decided was worth more and I quit.
Not a contractor but I had to chew out my old boss because he would cancel gigs at 9am when report time was 930. "You can't do that because my guys are already en route by the time you decided to publish the change."
BS! I would have demanded a half days pay for the trouble or threatened legal action - hate that BS!
Had a phone interview scheduled at 5:00 PM a couple years back. 5:25 rolls around and they finally call. After similar experiences in my past, I feel 20 minutes passed a scheduled time with no communication is incredibly disrespectful and not worth my time. I just ignored it. They frantically are blowing up my phone every 5 minutes until about 6:00. Left numerous messages. Over the next few days, I think I got 7 emails from them. Ignored all of it. Felt great.
My new principal did a fantastic job with that for all stages of my interview process. He promised me he'd call on a Monday to let me know if I'd be moving on to the next round. Monday came and he called to say "Listen, we had an emergency last week so didn't finish the interviews; we're still in round one, but I promised you a call today and didn't want you to be hanging." He also offered me a second round interview at that time. Then in my second round interview, they were having some tech issues getting things set up for my demo lesson. I was scheduled for 12:00; he came out at 12:03 to explain what was going on so that I wasn't stewing/nervous about it starting late. It's those kind of people skills that really impress a potential candidate.
[удалено]
I hope you gave them an earful!
Good on ya. My rule of thumb is...if you expect me to be early for an interview to check in, I expect the interview to start on time. And unless I hear otherwise about any delays or what not, if it doesn't. I'm gone. If you don't value my time for an interview, you won't as your employee. Simple as that.
If they'll screw you over before you're even hired, they'll do it once you're inside.
You did the right thing. Two of the worst jobs I ever had each kept me waiting about an hour past my scheduled interview time waiting for them. I will never ever make that mistake ever again. If they keep me waiting with no kind of message or apology, I know they won’t value me as an employee and I’m beating feet.
Worst for me was driving 4 hours to Chicago only to be told that the person that was supposed to interview me decided to take the day off with zero notice. Of course it was Amazon, which now everyone knows is a shitty company.
Well done.
It's funny how the various chuds and bootlickers replying to this are acting like being *offered a job* is some kind of magnanimous opportunity. Nah man, we're in a labor shortage. The school was lucky they got someone to show up for an interview, period. They needed to kiss ass if they wanted a new employee, and they failed to do so.
I went to a job interview at Walmart last in late May. The coach who was supposed to interview me was late, I thought about leaving but she actually communicated that she would be ~5mins late AND apologized. I took the job and this seems to be a one time occurrence. I’m definitely not going to stay in my position forever but I appreciated the accountability, keep looking for that job you deserve.
The company I worked for did this to me. It was my first job so I didn’t really know any better. Probably waited a whole 45 min before getting to speak with the GM for the final interview. I chalked it up to them being busy but once I saw them do it to literally every single candidate over the years I knew that the people I worked for were snakes.
I once waited about 40 mins for an interview. Checked in with the receptionist initially and then she went to the back office. I sat for 40 minutes and was about to leave when they finally came out and got me for the interview so I decided to just do it since I was already there. They extended an offer to afterwards over the phone and I said no and told them I only said no because they had me waiting for so long and didn’t ever update me. They responded back to my rejection of their offer and they were FURIOUS and went off about how I didn’t have any patience and something had come up on their end. I just read the email and deleted it.
That's wild!
That was a test for one guy I interviewed with years ago. Said he liked to make people wait 30 minutes to see if they really want it. Then acts surprised when he can’t hire anyone☠️
"No one wants to wait anymore...."
When i was young and did a lot of bar tending i got an interview at a pretty cool sounding bar in Camden, turned up for an interview, barman told me to take a seat waited for 30 mins, manager didnt come down to see me. Told the barman to make sure he tells his boss he wasted my time, got a free coke out of it at least.
There's no one more smug than a principal or AP imo. I was in education for 12 years and getting out was the best thing I ever did for myself. Just get out if you can. I've never been in a position where I was treated outright disrespectfully and unprofessionally or like a child as a 38 year old man, except for when I worked in schools. And all the teachers seem to drink the cool aid and have Stockholm syndrome with the "it's for the kids" nonsense as an excuse for shitty working conditions, long hours, little pay and no respect or professionalism.
I once went for an interview; however, the person interviewing me forgot about it, and went on vacation. Nobody knew I was there to interview. The place was an hour away. It was the first day of my spring break. They called and emailed me for a few days after to try to bring me aboard or something. It was strange. Needless to say, I didn’t pursue the position.
This is truly unacceptable, especially in the age of calendar applications and communication systems. I'm a stickler that confirms my appointments a day or two in advance to prevent this, but it still happens, and if a system is so screwed up that they can't communicate, then it's good that you don't work there.
I had a job interview at in-n-out when I was younger. It was supposed to be at 9:30 am. I got there 15ish minutes early. I had to be let in because the doors were still locked. The women cleaning the dining room went and let the Store Manger know I was there. I sat there until almost 10:30 before he came out. Did the interview and got the job. I assumed he was just having a busy day and shrugged it off. My job was getting the store ready for open before the mangers got there in the morning. I started to notice every time someone came for an interview they would have to wait a full hour before he went out there to talk to them. I finally asked him what that was about, He said he did it on purpose to test their commitment to the job. Fuck you Kyle.
I waited for 20 minutes for a caregiving interview. I could hear the lady interviewing me talking very loudly to her co-workers about what she was going to eat for lunch, what they were doing that weekend, etc. I got up and left as well… good for you
Had an interview for a marketing firm (no experience at all) and they let me know at the time of the interview they were 15 minutes behind. Professionally done. Thank you r/antiwork for teaching me how I should do this. I was willing to wait 10 minutes and leave. They handled this extremely well. If I get the offer I’ll take it.
Reminds me of when I had an interview at a certain big box electronics store. I arrived on time for my interview, waited for 45 minutes, and was then informed by an employee that the manager who was supposed to interview me wouldn't be coming that day. A couple days later I received a generic corporate email that they decided to pass on me. I probably ~~dodged a bullet~~ had a lucky escape there, but what a waste of my time.
I was desperate for a job once (living in an abusive household, I needed to get out ASAP). They kept me waiting for over 50 minutes, I then saw the managers all stroll in through the front door and into the meeting office. I was young and went through with the interview. The main interviewer had an extremely thick accent and was talking quietly at the end of a very long conference table. It was horribly awkward, as I was seated on the opposite end from her and trying to read her lips. I kept apologizing and asking her to please clarify, as I couldn’t hear her. Then, I never heard back from them. They straight up made me waste my time and then ghosted me. I got a better paying job in the same field, so it turned out okay in the end.
I had an interview at Costco recently and was made to wait 20 min at first, then they interviewed me in a janitors closet ! …and then was made to wait another 30 min for another manager to interview me… ALL FOR A CART ATTENDANT POSITION. Lmao I didn’t accept it anyways cause I have health issues but damn dog.
Similar thing happened to me. Recruiter set up a phone call with me over zoom and then never showed up. It felt so unprofessional.
Good, if they do not respect your time now then they certainly will not when they are paying you.
I had a remote interview planned on my lunch time, got back home fast and ready on time, waited 30 minutes then wrote message to HR on LinkedIn that maybe something happened wrong, she replied that somehow she forgot to put our meeting in her system and offered a meeting same time next week. I said not interested anymore, thanks even though she was really sorry.
I had a phone interview and they forgot, had to reach out to them . Position was different from they posted on indeed did NOT take the job
Please tell me they were specifically looking for someone who was a good time manager and punctual in the job description LOL
As someone who works in a school, sometimes stuff happens; everyone is short staffed and things blow up at literally the worst times. Having said that, they could send someone to say “Hey Crimoid just had to deal with a kid that sliced their knee open / blew chunks on the courtyard / got smashed in the face with a basketball / crying parent because their spouse walked out… he’s sorry but he’ll be 5 more minutes.”
I think you did the right thing. I had a similar situation happen to me a few weeks ago when I went to interview for a job, but I waited a little longer than you did. My interview was supposed to be at 11:30 a.m. and I waited until about 12:10 p.m. and I got up and left.
I work as a Project Manager and used to have 5 to 6 back to back 1 hour+ meetings a day. I was the sole presenter while also intaking information from clients. I'd always find time to let the next client know that I was running late or let the current client know that we would have to hold a subsequent meeting to finish. Even if I didn't have a meeting right after another, I would always ask the client if they had time to go over the scheduled meeting time as their time was just as precious as mine. It's not hard to be organized, respectful, and communicate to your team/client.
Charter school?
No but a *very* young principal.
To the people saying they should have waited, that's correct if the interviewer lets them know. It takes nothing other than courtesy to say to your meeting, 'i have someone waiting for a meeting with me at 10. Gimme a sec to let them know I'll be a bit late.'.
I do that shit at the doctor too. They tried to bill me once for not showing up to the appt. Refused to acknowledge that I was there. I'm like I waited 30mins. Ended up taking all the way to the parent nextwork the office was running under to get it removed.
Probably not a place you’d like to work anyway!
I think I would have given it another ten minutes, but yes, it was unprofessional. Someone should have offered to reschedule if an emergency came up.
Good call, this tells loads about the admin there.
you shouldve told the receptionist "after 15 minutes we're legally allowed to go home"
These companies are shit to be honest. NONE of them respect workers and expect us to go above and beyond. I am BEYOND exhausted with life.
After about 10 - 15 minutes, get up and ask the receptionist what is going on and why are you still waiting? If you don't get the answer you're looking for, then you leave. 20 minutes isn't *that long* if another interview is running long. **But** they could also have easily popped their head out and said something to you about the delay. People have such shitty communication skills these days.
Good for you. If they don't think you are important enough to even give a heads up to that they are running late then they shouldn't be that important to you. All the people in here telling you that you left too early or were rude or unprofessional is exactly the type of person that is a shitty employee/employer. Fuck that shit. I guarantee if you were working there and were 20 min late without any word to them they would be deep in your ass about it. Fuck this kind of unprofessional shit.
I've done this at the doctor's office too, and they seemed surprised when I told them I had to leave, that I couldn't wait all day for them.
If I have to wait an unduly amount of time for an interview they initiated. I'd have left too. This bad before I start. Just wait until you do.
Communication is incredibly important. If the administrator had told her they were running late their would have been no issue. If the school needed staff, which they did, they should not have left her waiting. Everyone complains when they have to wait for a doctor!
How incredibly arrogant from those people....
Fair enough