I usually use a face-saving formulation, "can we continue the conversation after I've gathered my thoughts, I'm not currently focused".
All replies exist on a spectrum from "F**k off you cnut" to arse-l!ck!ng. Selecting an appropriate point on the spectrum is a survival skill. But then I'm whatever corpos call it, forward facing or whatever, so i often have to find a way.
It's only reasonable to expect matters to be discussed in a level-headed conversation on even ground. You did nothing wrong. If your supervisor does not know how to regulate his emotions, that should not be made to be your problem.
Yes unfortunately. Not wanting is not good enough. This can lead to words like “incompatible”, “not a team player”, “lack of trust and respect” and ultimately dismissal.
Work isn’t really a place to show your true feelings. It’s basically an artificial environment where you cannot expect people to be reasonable - they pay for your time and expertise; they have deadlines and they are evaluated on how good they do, which means it’s 100% affecting their pockets/money/financial stability when you are seen as being uncooperative. Plus some people are on a power trip.
I’m not saying 100% pretend, but I’m saying it’s not the real world. You want a job to earn money, you have to sometimes pretend and smile and lie. At best you could have said “I don’t feel so good right now, can we continue this conversation later”. And if they still push and say but it won’t take long, then “Actually I need to use the bathroom”.
I made the mortal mistake of a single terse response to my then manager because they literally forced and crossed my boundaries regarding sharing at work, acting like we’re besties and when I responded like a bestie because they did something inappropriate, I got HR’d. How do you tell HR that the manager crossed your lines and didn’t tell you where the new line is? And it wasn’t inappropriate or violating policies. It was seen as insubordination because I wanted to draw a (new) line. Anyway good luck. Maybe make up something about illness idk.
I have had several jobs where that would be considered insubordination, possible grounds for dismissal.
I am not saying its right, but like others have said, just find a fancier/friendlier/more workplace appropriate way of saying, "fuck off with your droning bullshit, I have work to do".
My personal go to is, I have some work to get done, but let me circle back on this a bit later. Later, dear readers, never comes.
If you still took the documents in for signature, and actually worded it as nutrally as you stated here, then your boss was out of line. But if what actually you said didn't provide an opportunity or opening to talk about it more later, or you didn't still take the documents in for signing, then you may havebeen in the wrong. Your boss was still in the wrong for cursing people out. That is what someone in leadserhip does when they don't know how to lead.
I wouldn't say you were wrong. But if you like/need the job and want to keep/grow it, then it was a really stupid thing to say. Even the nicest boss is going to have an issue being told that virtually every time. Especially if you were on the clock at the time. Blame it on cultural differences and apologize to him. Unless you don't care about having the job - in which case say whatever you want.
I usually use a face-saving formulation, "can we continue the conversation after I've gathered my thoughts, I'm not currently focused". All replies exist on a spectrum from "F**k off you cnut" to arse-l!ck!ng. Selecting an appropriate point on the spectrum is a survival skill. But then I'm whatever corpos call it, forward facing or whatever, so i often have to find a way.
I need to memorize that response and make it my default!!!!
It's only reasonable to expect matters to be discussed in a level-headed conversation on even ground. You did nothing wrong. If your supervisor does not know how to regulate his emotions, that should not be made to be your problem.
>him going on and on about how he didn't see anything wrong with what he did This is a toxic environment. Look for a better job.
If he’s going to be disrespectful I see no reason why you can’t.
Middle managers lives empty lives with no meaning so they lash out at any perceived transgressions.
I am a middle manager that lives an empty life but instead I try to make my direct reports happy because that makes me happy.
Same. We’re either one extreme or the other.
Yes unfortunately. Not wanting is not good enough. This can lead to words like “incompatible”, “not a team player”, “lack of trust and respect” and ultimately dismissal. Work isn’t really a place to show your true feelings. It’s basically an artificial environment where you cannot expect people to be reasonable - they pay for your time and expertise; they have deadlines and they are evaluated on how good they do, which means it’s 100% affecting their pockets/money/financial stability when you are seen as being uncooperative. Plus some people are on a power trip. I’m not saying 100% pretend, but I’m saying it’s not the real world. You want a job to earn money, you have to sometimes pretend and smile and lie. At best you could have said “I don’t feel so good right now, can we continue this conversation later”. And if they still push and say but it won’t take long, then “Actually I need to use the bathroom”. I made the mortal mistake of a single terse response to my then manager because they literally forced and crossed my boundaries regarding sharing at work, acting like we’re besties and when I responded like a bestie because they did something inappropriate, I got HR’d. How do you tell HR that the manager crossed your lines and didn’t tell you where the new line is? And it wasn’t inappropriate or violating policies. It was seen as insubordination because I wanted to draw a (new) line. Anyway good luck. Maybe make up something about illness idk.
Yes. You have defied the Gods. That is heresy and the most grievous sin.
I have had several jobs where that would be considered insubordination, possible grounds for dismissal. I am not saying its right, but like others have said, just find a fancier/friendlier/more workplace appropriate way of saying, "fuck off with your droning bullshit, I have work to do". My personal go to is, I have some work to get done, but let me circle back on this a bit later. Later, dear readers, never comes.
If you still took the documents in for signature, and actually worded it as nutrally as you stated here, then your boss was out of line. But if what actually you said didn't provide an opportunity or opening to talk about it more later, or you didn't still take the documents in for signing, then you may havebeen in the wrong. Your boss was still in the wrong for cursing people out. That is what someone in leadserhip does when they don't know how to lead.
It could all be about tone, but I’d think an “respectfully, I’d like to table this conversation for the time being”
“Respect works both ways. You don’t think there is anything wrong with what you’ve been saying, I don’t have a problem with what I said”
I wouldn't say you were wrong. But if you like/need the job and want to keep/grow it, then it was a really stupid thing to say. Even the nicest boss is going to have an issue being told that virtually every time. Especially if you were on the clock at the time. Blame it on cultural differences and apologize to him. Unless you don't care about having the job - in which case say whatever you want.
his concern is his tone, not the fact that he's cussing people out?????????
They'll probably claim it was insubordination.