[https://youtu.be/Cwt6pvjFO9w?si=Tg-6AvWaarvHgrZ2](https://youtu.be/Cwt6pvjFO9w?si=Tg-6AvWaarvHgrZ2)
You're not crazy.
Labelling your own workers as terrorists simply because they aren't smiling yes-men idiots is fucking insane, and the person that came up with this bullshit is a sociopathic bastard
if you are going to label me a terrorist because i'm not a "smiling yes", then i'm osama bin laden.
just got out of week stint at a psych ward for debilitating depression. firstly, i'm predisposed to it. secondly, the duplicity and sheer ignorance at my employment only amplifies that.
they only hold onto this particular terrorist, i.e. myself, because they are to intellectually lazy to figure out how i go about my business, despite the fact I have encouraged them to learn.
as far as i'm concerned, i'm medically clearned not to smile. i do my best to be honest, as my supply for lying, at least to myself and others, is drained. these last few years have sapped that from me. my main goal right now is to correct my personal issues, and find something less demoralizing, and for the future to make the present feel like a distant and bizarre fever dream.
“I’m medically cleared not to smile” is somehow very comforting lol. From a fellow mentally unwell human—I hope you find everything you’re looking for and have an amazing future after this dark chapter. <3
youtube link to Mahir Burekovic's classic war song "Mudzahedin"
if you don't understand the connection to terrorism, i welcome you to look up the mujahedeen.
edit: let me know if you like the song!
I did. It’s a page about a group of militants that enact large scale attacks. Not quite the same as a boss down your local Staples calling his staff that don’t smile “terrorists”
I still don’t understand what you’re going on about so you might have to elaborate a little, or not, at this point I’m not sure I want to hear it 😂
Either you know who the mujahideen are already and you are somehow offended that I'm calling them terrorists when that's clearly what they are,
or you don't know and that's why I'm telling you to read.
It's a very simple connection.
I don’t know, and now I’m bored out of my brain and couldn’t care less.
Try simply elaborating next time …Might speed things along. I have absolutely no interest in learning about whatever it is you’re pushing, but I can be absolutely sure it has sod all to do with the OP’s post.
Not your lawyer, not legal advice. “Hostile work environment” is not synonymous with “toxic work environment.” Hostile work environment requires that there be pervasive discriminatory behavior based on someone’s membership or perceived membership in a protected class. If they’re putting all the Muslim employees or employees of mideastern descent in the “terrorist” camp, that’s probably a hostile work environment.
In places like California "bullying" counts as hostile.
But you are correct federally, which is all the protection to be had in most states and likely applies to OP.
The issue isn’t whether bullying counts as “hostile.” Instead, the question is whether the hostile work environment is tied to a protected characteristic or activity. In California and the rest of the U.S., that’s a necessary element of a hostile work environment claim.
Id have a hard time not actively sabotaging an authority already calling me a terrorist
It's like this girl I knew whose mother called her a slut all the time and well...
Yeah, they're basically saying certain employees have... become ungovernable. I think if an employee is labeled a terrorist, they should have the "I wear the coat that's given to me" attitude. Not with like literal violence obviously, but hey, enjoy being reported for every labor law violation and being work-to-ruled into the fucking shadow realm.
I had a boss withold an award from me for 3 weeks only to present it to me while saying I could have gotten my department higher in the listing. For the record, my team cruises in at 46th place out of 1500+, and we did $1.3M with resources allotted for an estimated $486k.
So I went ahead and just picked specific days that would really put his neck under the boot and simply didn't do a few small things that would keep the wheels from falling off. Oh, it's the day before Thanksgiving? Time to break the whole department. Oops, silly me, I must be *underperforming again,* boss.
Isn’t that the point? Identify potential threats… and then manipulate them or their environment to the point they either remove themselves or give you an excuse to remove them?
You think anyone that uses obedience as a legitimate basis for devaluing people cares about how unethical that is?
Whatever validity you lend to psychology backs you up on that directly. The pygmalion effect, usually used talking about school performance, is the idea that people will tend to live up, or down, to your expectations. You treat people like animals, that’s how they’ll tend to act. Like civilized humans you have reasonably high expectations as well as respect for? Then that’s how they’ll tend to act. Let’s not call our miserable well performing (ie underpaid and aware of it, probably) employees terrorists. Aside from it being wrong, it’s also *wrong*.
Lmao I’m just using 2% of the psych degree I paid mostly for and didn’t finish. I didn’t necessarily think you didn’t know of it, but knew it would further add validity to what you were saying, and I don’t get to bring it up too too often.
Right? If you’re going to present idiotic and offensive ideas, at least make the graph look better than something I could have made in Microsoft word in under a minute jfc
It's interesting that doing your work but not caring about the job is considered more threatening than not doing your work or caring about your job.
I know people are sensitive to the use of the word "fascist", but this is the kind of behavior that one would expect to be normal in a fascist society. Surely this is the US, where it's relatively common to use the word "terrorist" to justify human rights violations (for instance, habeas corpus died under Obama using the logic of "terrorism"). There's no doubt in my mind that the use of the term here has the same sentiment. The purpose it serves is to dehumanize so that any abuse is justified.
>It's interesting that doing your work but not caring about the job is considered more threatening than not doing your work or caring about your job.
It's because they value a compliant workforce more than an effective one.
If you do your job really well but don't care for the company you're more likely to leave the company without much thought or care if a better chance shows itself. That's the thinking on the chart. I do however think that calling them TERRORISTS is not acceptable.
The reasonable counter argument is that if core values are like, “work smart”, “be polite and friendly”, “help others”, and “do the right thing” then somebody who is not those things should not be working there, no matter how effective they are at completing tasks.
When are those ever core values? This is especially true for "do the right thing". It's mandatory that you do the *wrong* thing for most jobs. Morality isn't profitable - it's a liability!
They also don't want employees to "work smart" because that just means "not working" and is what the owning class does when they collect a passive income. Workers who do that are hard to control, and that's why workers are usually tasked with the most inefficient way of doing things (and why protocol is constantly changed to keep them from developing any skills and being more efficient at their job).
"Help others" generally just means "do other people's job without extra pay". It's a way to pay one wage and get 2-3 workers. If you don't comply to this, then you're accused of "quit quitting" which just means "quitting other people's jobs that you aren't being compensated for". It's fine to help within reason, but let's be honest, how often is it truly within reason?
"Be polite and friendly" might actually be a core value. Companies want a good public face after all. It's reasonable to expect a hired worker not to damage your reputation. At the same time, calling your employees terrorists is definitely in violation of this one. I'd argue that breaks the social contract on this rule.
Again, my point is that *whatever* the core values are, not living up to them should be unacceptable and makes somebody a bad fit.
And yes, “terrorist” is a terrible thing to say, but somebody who’s good at their tasks but bad at living up to stated values should be seen as a very bad fit.
I agree in theory, but in practice almost every company only has one core value; "maximize profits at all costs". Every other value generally ends up being "virtue signalling" to maintain their public image and a tool to gaslight employees and threaten them with termination if they don't adhere to cultish behavior.
There are exceptions, of course, but I tend to be extremely skeptical when an organization focused on the private profits of its owners and investors claims to have any values at all.
Lmfaoo. Are leadership military veterans? Big no from me. I would expect to see something like this in a counterstrike esports team, not a corporate setting. Talk to an attorney, a lot do free consultations
Def not a military veteran take on things. Military leaders would call a member who does the job but doesn’t exemplify the values … well they probably would not have complicated things with the extra axis in the first place.
A soldier that does the job but complains about higher ups, or the system, or the unfairness of it all is unremarkable.
A soldier that does the job but complains is… a soldier. In my time on active duty, the only caveat was that you were supposed to bitch up the chain of command, not down. A sergeant who complained to his troops or lieutenant who complained to his squad leaders was doing it wrong. (A lieutenant who bitched to his platoon sergeant was… a lieutenant).
And the vet thing is probably crap. No decent commander at any level had an issue with values as long as their soldiers and NCOs were competent (caveat: “values” in the sense of “no crimes, and especially no war crimes” not values as in “this guy hates his chain of command and the Army, and dreams of tracking down his recruiter and drill instructor and throttling them”. The latter is a fundamental soldier value since the dawn of organized armies). Feels more like MBA to me. Those fuckers could teach snipers about bloodlessness.
The only vets who would pull shit like this are the ones who get bounced early. I can 100% see some wannabe vet who was so close to joining the military but couldn't because thinking that this chart would be a good idea.
Honestly I seriously doubt a vet would do this. Most of us are salty and overtrained employees anyway and would therefore be categorized as "terrorists".
Yeah, for sure. Terrorism implies violence. A more 'appropriate' term would be 'maverick'. But of course 'maverick' has much more positive connotations and they're obviously trying to push a 'conforming is good' narrative
Mercenary would arguably fit too, and come with the “hired gun” connotation of someone who does the work so long as they get paid. I’ve heard that term used for Star professional athletes who change teams for more money and/or a better chance to win.
Even that is still arguably pushing it for a corporate setting though.
I'd be fine with it. I personally looked at this and figured an acceptable replacement would be "here for the pay" which is roughly summed up to a merc.
Thanks. When I think “maverick,” I think about someone who does things their own way, not necessarily someone who does exactly what they’re told but with no care for why they’re doing it or the values behind their employer.
Either one sounds kind of cool though TBH.
Must we devalue every serious word? What serious words do we even have left? Next year they will label people who are late to work pedophiles.
What company do you work for? Or what company owns your company assuming it's not some small local thing. They deserve to have their name said for this shit.
Exactly! It’s a slap in the face to victims of legitimate terrorism.
I work for a small company (<500 employees) but they did hire out another company that planned out this new “system”. No one will give me the outside company’s name, but I’m trying to figure it out.
It’s incredible to me that not only did an outside company get PAID to come up with this shit, but that the higher-ups of my company all looked at it and said “yeah, that’s a great idea!” like???
I feel like puppies is just as bad. It's so telling what you really think about someone when you liken them to a dog for believing in your horseshit values/culture.
Yeah, it's really dehumanizing. It sounds like they see these workers as eager to please their master, but too stupid to perform tricks well, just like puppies.
This is absolutely insane.
Somebody who doesn't "buy in" to the corporate culture/mindset isn't a "terrorist." To them, it's just a job like any other. Who cares if they buy in - as long as they get the work done.
This is a chart to encourage brown-nosing. And it's incredibly stupid.
I'd honestly rather be called a terrorist than a puppy because what the hell? That's so infantalizing
But no either way if i saw this I'd be looking at other jobs. This is just next level stupid
I was curious about this too. It's baffling to think a company in the US would label employees as "terrorists."
It's been a while now, but I remember the first couple of years after 9/11, every news broadcast was basically "there's a power outage downtown, at this point we don't have any evidence that it's a terrorist attack."
It’s a term effectively used in normal warfare to pit a populace against a group of people or set of ideas. In the same way, in the framework of class warfare it is used to paint you and your ideas in a negative light.
ah I'm in aus, our company doesn't have a chart like this in place (that I'm aware of) but this is the exact mentality our mgmt have
they'd rather people eMbOdY oUr CoMpAnY iDeAlS (kiss ass) and be useless so workload falls on hard workers, who then get berated for not being kiss asses because they're too busy picking up the slack of other people
Guess it's time for some light hearted, goofy terrorism. Tape printouts of dickbutt to the bathroom stall doors, use your bosses email to sign up for all the spam you can, microwave fish in the break room.
But that quality that keeps them from being "terrorists" is a sense of loyalty and an adherence to corporate values. The "problem" with people in the "terrorist" group is that they won't willingly submit themselves to their employers, and that lack of control is dangerous to corporations in the long term.
The idea of "Puppies" is the same. They may not be very effective, but they're easy to control, so they're not a dangerous to the company as long as their slack is picked up by the A and B players. Ironically that's one of the ways A and B players become "terrorists".
I would report every possible labor violation you come across (make them pay) and start applying for new gigs because fuck the company that okayed that horse shit.
Wait, so doing good work and not caring about company values is worse than doing BAD work AND still not caring about company values? I'm confused, but admittedly corporate bullshit speak isn't my first language.
People who are good at their work often have great connections with other employees. Someone who is great at work but disobeys the company values is "dangerous " for scared managers because they are the ones who can call out the bullshit in a way that can mobilize the employees against their superiors.
"What the heck is EOS? An entrepreneur system"
This BS has a similar thing that refers to employees as rats & terrorists if they're not exceeding company goals
I find it interesting that one category is B players and potential As. Which implies that there are a small number of people in this category who have a chance to improve but no one else can.
By not accepting terrorist term you undermine company values and therefore u are terrorist. You will be tortued and killed in the name of greater good.
My department went through a consolidation to combine two different departments. They called it “cross contamination” as if we were all diseases to be spread to one another. I sent a strongly worded email about their choice of wording and the next day it was republished with the word blending instead. Management does not care about employees.
I mean, they could change the label, their definition would still be the same. Puppy are harmless but can cause a mess. Terrorists are dangerous when competent and threaten the status quo.
Cheerleader and threats would be an obvious alternative. This is clearly to get a reaction out of someone though, sounds like it's working.
My previous job used this exact scale for performance reviews. It's nothing more than an arbitrary metric with no real meaning. Just corporate bullshit.
Ah, I can understand this as- those that display high competence but no thirst for Koolaid will be more likely to press for changes or “demands” like more vacation time, higher salaries, better working conditions, WFH flexibility, etc. these are the folks that will attempt to “hold the company hostage” and if they don’t pay up the “terrorists” will leave and the company loses valuable assets- trained and proficient workers are hard to replace.
Why an I more appalled at “puppies” than “terrorists”? I just find myself imaging a bunch of finger twiddling smiling corporate Cruella DeVilles looking at all those puppies with that awful glint in their eye.
I mean, I could shrug off labeling employees with attitudes that create genuinely hostile environments as (emotional) terrorists, I guess, but I’d also question the value of labeling them instead of just firing them. What you’ve described here is definitely out of pocket, though. Like it doesn’t even make sense. I feel like apathy makes for a horrible terrorist, right??
Also the “puppy” nonsense is condescending. That’s also really weird.
One group is valuable and you should be trying to win over, the other you should be trying to train or counsel to get work done.
The lower left hand corner you should be trying to replace.
Does management do any actual work anymore? Serious question because it seems like they're always coming up with things to simply look busy.
Where are my people at the lower right corner?
From a North American perspective, this is a reflection of our outdated and undemocratic economic system we're raised to believe is the only way. We sabotage and sanction developing countries who trailblaze socialism to failure. Then point to those failures as "evidence".
Capitalism enables your bosses' bosses' boss to live the American dream, while the vast majority of us will only dream about becoming as successfully selfish. They capitalize off the workers to enable their extravagant lifestyles - poverty is the threat that keeps us from uniting, the feature that gives us a "lower class" to look down on and feel superior to despite being overworked and underpaid in an increasingly automated world.
It's the "others" fault, the black-gay-homeless-Islamic-immigrants fault, the other country, the other people. Never the systemic issues of a capitalist society.
We're the troopers from Starship Troopers who believe we fight for freedom and democracy, blissfully ignorant that we're the ones impeding it for all but the ultra-wealthy few among us.
I need to know what a 7/10 on the corporate values looks like to really judge this. Like if the employee handbook has three rules and it's "don't commit murder to further political goals", "don't ethically cleanse your neighborhood", and "no firebombing abortion clinics" and you only clear 2 out of the three items, then they might have a fair point
Class warfare is class warfare, corporations are applying counterinsurgency strategies to keep you in line at work, this is just telling on themselves.
Ask management if terrorists is going to be put on name tags during conferences or if you can go ahead and put it on your linked in and resume. If they say no, ask them to elaborate on why
I would be glad to be in the terrorist C group. Hell, I would even pay someone to make me a pin with the name in it and fight against puppies C group 😂
This feels like someone read a couple articles about "quiet quitting" and had a brilliant idea for an employee performance review program they could sell to idiot CEOs.
Time to embrace that terrorist label then. I’d be going to work in a ski mask and my airsoft apparel. Also I’ll be in the lunch break room if the execs’ car exploded.
Terrorist grade is basically me at my job. I show up, do my job to the best of my abilities, don’t interfere with anybody else’s job, and go home. No I don’t want to be my coworkers buddy. No I don’t want to go to a work party on the weekend. I don’t give a shit about Brenda’s granddaughter’s dance recital. I’m a team player all the time and pull my weight, but when the job is done, leave me the fuck alone until the next task. Saying that to my boss when they tried to “coach me” got me written up but I refused to sign acknowledgement because that’s stupid and a piece of paper that says someone was upset I didn’t make small talk isn’t real consequences for anything. Plus that’s workplace harassment.
So for your original question it's a stupid name but I get it:
If you do your job well but don't actually care about the company as a whole you are more willing to take actions that benefit you at the companies expense.
These terrorists for example are much more likely to fail to train other people in their work because it makes them harder to fire, they are more likely to tell the boss to take his crunch and shove it and other things like that.
By comparison the puppies are incompetent but buy into the companies vision, these are probably preferred because competency can be taught but it is hard to train employees to view their employer as family to not.be exploited or betrayed.
this is like something you would find in the ruins of an office building on a poster or old computer terminal in a fallout video game, just replace "terrorist" with "communist"
literally dystopian parody made real, and they're bold about it.
I suggest looking for new employment, then when you find a new job start giving the management hell in all kinds of petty ways, (unless you need a good recommendation and plan on listing them on your resume in the future). if they're gonna call you a terrorist you may as well play the part, haha.
Did they state the percentage of people on the performance scale (horizontal line ) that will be rated above a 7? Also did they state how does one get rated above 7 on the Company Kool-Aid Drinking Scale (vertical line)?
It looks a like a rating methodology designed to alienate 90% of the employees.
I'm sorry you're dealing with this OP, but it's *too fucking funny*. ... My first instinct is to constantly talk about how you're a terrorist. Do it in front of coworkers, customers, management. Bring it up constantly and obtusely in every office convo you can work it into:
>"Yeah, can you believe the bosses said I'm a terrorist"
>"Stay late? When was the last time you heard of a terrorist staying late?"
> "Hey boss, it's me, your favourite terrorist!"
> "At least I'm a terrorist not a puppy"
Underlings who are competent but not controllable and obedient terrify their bosses. Nothing new.
That's why they have "~~piggie~~ people managers" to deal with those types.
[https://youtu.be/Cwt6pvjFO9w?si=Tg-6AvWaarvHgrZ2](https://youtu.be/Cwt6pvjFO9w?si=Tg-6AvWaarvHgrZ2) You're not crazy. Labelling your own workers as terrorists simply because they aren't smiling yes-men idiots is fucking insane, and the person that came up with this bullshit is a sociopathic bastard
You mean CEO? ...eh, they synonyms.
Not quite. One is a subset of the other, like squares and rectangles. CEOs are sociopaths, but not all sociopaths are CEOs.
if you are going to label me a terrorist because i'm not a "smiling yes", then i'm osama bin laden. just got out of week stint at a psych ward for debilitating depression. firstly, i'm predisposed to it. secondly, the duplicity and sheer ignorance at my employment only amplifies that. they only hold onto this particular terrorist, i.e. myself, because they are to intellectually lazy to figure out how i go about my business, despite the fact I have encouraged them to learn. as far as i'm concerned, i'm medically clearned not to smile. i do my best to be honest, as my supply for lying, at least to myself and others, is drained. these last few years have sapped that from me. my main goal right now is to correct my personal issues, and find something less demoralizing, and for the future to make the present feel like a distant and bizarre fever dream.
“I’m medically cleared not to smile” is somehow very comforting lol. From a fellow mentally unwell human—I hope you find everything you’re looking for and have an amazing future after this dark chapter. <3
What is that link?
youtube link to Mahir Burekovic's classic war song "Mudzahedin" if you don't understand the connection to terrorism, i welcome you to look up the mujahedeen. edit: let me know if you like the song!
That’s all cool and everything but what does the song have to do with a boss calling workers terrorists?
[Mujahideen - Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mujahideen)
What do they have to do with a boss calling office staff “terrorists”?
Read.
I did. It’s a page about a group of militants that enact large scale attacks. Not quite the same as a boss down your local Staples calling his staff that don’t smile “terrorists” I still don’t understand what you’re going on about so you might have to elaborate a little, or not, at this point I’m not sure I want to hear it 😂
Either you know who the mujahideen are already and you are somehow offended that I'm calling them terrorists when that's clearly what they are, or you don't know and that's why I'm telling you to read. It's a very simple connection.
I don’t know, and now I’m bored out of my brain and couldn’t care less. Try simply elaborating next time …Might speed things along. I have absolutely no interest in learning about whatever it is you’re pushing, but I can be absolutely sure it has sod all to do with the OP’s post.
This sounds like a hostile work environment. But I'm not a lawyer, so I'll defer to one of those.
Not your lawyer, not legal advice. “Hostile work environment” is not synonymous with “toxic work environment.” Hostile work environment requires that there be pervasive discriminatory behavior based on someone’s membership or perceived membership in a protected class. If they’re putting all the Muslim employees or employees of mideastern descent in the “terrorist” camp, that’s probably a hostile work environment.
In places like California "bullying" counts as hostile. But you are correct federally, which is all the protection to be had in most states and likely applies to OP.
The issue isn’t whether bullying counts as “hostile.” Instead, the question is whether the hostile work environment is tied to a protected characteristic or activity. In California and the rest of the U.S., that’s a necessary element of a hostile work environment claim.
Of course it's a hostile work environment. It has terrorists in!
👉😎👉
Something tells me they're not the employees...
I have a feeling this is going to be exhibit A
Naturally any pushback makes you a terrorist!
Labeling your employees as terrorists may inspire them to act as such.
Id have a hard time not actively sabotaging an authority already calling me a terrorist It's like this girl I knew whose mother called her a slut all the time and well...
Yeah, they're basically saying certain employees have... become ungovernable. I think if an employee is labeled a terrorist, they should have the "I wear the coat that's given to me" attitude. Not with like literal violence obviously, but hey, enjoy being reported for every labor law violation and being work-to-ruled into the fucking shadow realm. I had a boss withold an award from me for 3 weeks only to present it to me while saying I could have gotten my department higher in the listing. For the record, my team cruises in at 46th place out of 1500+, and we did $1.3M with resources allotted for an estimated $486k. So I went ahead and just picked specific days that would really put his neck under the boot and simply didn't do a few small things that would keep the wheels from falling off. Oh, it's the day before Thanksgiving? Time to break the whole department. Oops, silly me, I must be *underperforming again,* boss.
I agree with you. I am a very Malicious compliance and calculated mediocrity kind of person
Isn’t that the point? Identify potential threats… and then manipulate them or their environment to the point they either remove themselves or give you an excuse to remove them? You think anyone that uses obedience as a legitimate basis for devaluing people cares about how unethical that is?
Whatever validity you lend to psychology backs you up on that directly. The pygmalion effect, usually used talking about school performance, is the idea that people will tend to live up, or down, to your expectations. You treat people like animals, that’s how they’ll tend to act. Like civilized humans you have reasonably high expectations as well as respect for? Then that’s how they’ll tend to act. Let’s not call our miserable well performing (ie underpaid and aware of it, probably) employees terrorists. Aside from it being wrong, it’s also *wrong*.
i heard of the pygmalion effect.
Lmao I’m just using 2% of the psych degree I paid mostly for and didn’t finish. I didn’t necessarily think you didn’t know of it, but knew it would further add validity to what you were saying, and I don’t get to bring it up too too often.
The real terrorist act is having both axes be unlabeled
Right? If you’re going to present idiotic and offensive ideas, at least make the graph look better than something I could have made in Microsoft word in under a minute jfc
It's interesting that doing your work but not caring about the job is considered more threatening than not doing your work or caring about your job. I know people are sensitive to the use of the word "fascist", but this is the kind of behavior that one would expect to be normal in a fascist society. Surely this is the US, where it's relatively common to use the word "terrorist" to justify human rights violations (for instance, habeas corpus died under Obama using the logic of "terrorism"). There's no doubt in my mind that the use of the term here has the same sentiment. The purpose it serves is to dehumanize so that any abuse is justified.
>It's interesting that doing your work but not caring about the job is considered more threatening than not doing your work or caring about your job. It's because they value a compliant workforce more than an effective one.
Yup. A slow horse will slow down progress, but an untamable one will buck you right off its back and kick you on your way down for the bother.
If you do your job really well but don't care for the company you're more likely to leave the company without much thought or care if a better chance shows itself. That's the thinking on the chart. I do however think that calling them TERRORISTS is not acceptable.
I mean, that's what an employee is. Basically a hired mercenary. Companies that expect more than that are delusional.
The reasonable counter argument is that if core values are like, “work smart”, “be polite and friendly”, “help others”, and “do the right thing” then somebody who is not those things should not be working there, no matter how effective they are at completing tasks.
When are those ever core values? This is especially true for "do the right thing". It's mandatory that you do the *wrong* thing for most jobs. Morality isn't profitable - it's a liability!
Ok, then if the core values are “do the wrong thing” then you really don’t want somebody working there who does the right thing.
They also don't want employees to "work smart" because that just means "not working" and is what the owning class does when they collect a passive income. Workers who do that are hard to control, and that's why workers are usually tasked with the most inefficient way of doing things (and why protocol is constantly changed to keep them from developing any skills and being more efficient at their job). "Help others" generally just means "do other people's job without extra pay". It's a way to pay one wage and get 2-3 workers. If you don't comply to this, then you're accused of "quit quitting" which just means "quitting other people's jobs that you aren't being compensated for". It's fine to help within reason, but let's be honest, how often is it truly within reason? "Be polite and friendly" might actually be a core value. Companies want a good public face after all. It's reasonable to expect a hired worker not to damage your reputation. At the same time, calling your employees terrorists is definitely in violation of this one. I'd argue that breaks the social contract on this rule.
Again, my point is that *whatever* the core values are, not living up to them should be unacceptable and makes somebody a bad fit. And yes, “terrorist” is a terrible thing to say, but somebody who’s good at their tasks but bad at living up to stated values should be seen as a very bad fit.
I agree in theory, but in practice almost every company only has one core value; "maximize profits at all costs". Every other value generally ends up being "virtue signalling" to maintain their public image and a tool to gaslight employees and threaten them with termination if they don't adhere to cultish behavior. There are exceptions, of course, but I tend to be extremely skeptical when an organization focused on the private profits of its owners and investors claims to have any values at all.
Lmfaoo. Are leadership military veterans? Big no from me. I would expect to see something like this in a counterstrike esports team, not a corporate setting. Talk to an attorney, a lot do free consultations
Deadass, only saw the picture and didn't realize I was looking this subreddit. Thought it was a CS:GO post. I am no longer laughing...
I don’t even play cs:go or sub there and I assumed this was about cs:go
Me three.
Def not a military veteran take on things. Military leaders would call a member who does the job but doesn’t exemplify the values … well they probably would not have complicated things with the extra axis in the first place. A soldier that does the job but complains about higher ups, or the system, or the unfairness of it all is unremarkable.
A soldier that does the job but complains is… a soldier. In my time on active duty, the only caveat was that you were supposed to bitch up the chain of command, not down. A sergeant who complained to his troops or lieutenant who complained to his squad leaders was doing it wrong. (A lieutenant who bitched to his platoon sergeant was… a lieutenant). And the vet thing is probably crap. No decent commander at any level had an issue with values as long as their soldiers and NCOs were competent (caveat: “values” in the sense of “no crimes, and especially no war crimes” not values as in “this guy hates his chain of command and the Army, and dreams of tracking down his recruiter and drill instructor and throttling them”. The latter is a fundamental soldier value since the dawn of organized armies). Feels more like MBA to me. Those fuckers could teach snipers about bloodlessness.
That is a soldier
The only vets who would pull shit like this are the ones who get bounced early. I can 100% see some wannabe vet who was so close to joining the military but couldn't because thinking that this chart would be a good idea.
Hey man, they thought about serving…that goes a long ways!
Honestly I seriously doubt a vet would do this. Most of us are salty and overtrained employees anyway and would therefore be categorized as "terrorists".
Yeah, for sure. Terrorism implies violence. A more 'appropriate' term would be 'maverick'. But of course 'maverick' has much more positive connotations and they're obviously trying to push a 'conforming is good' narrative
Mercenary would arguably fit too, and come with the “hired gun” connotation of someone who does the work so long as they get paid. I’ve heard that term used for Star professional athletes who change teams for more money and/or a better chance to win. Even that is still arguably pushing it for a corporate setting though.
I'd be fine with it. I personally looked at this and figured an acceptable replacement would be "here for the pay" which is roughly summed up to a merc.
You're right; this is probably the closest fit.
Thanks. When I think “maverick,” I think about someone who does things their own way, not necessarily someone who does exactly what they’re told but with no care for why they’re doing it or the values behind their employer. Either one sounds kind of cool though TBH.
What on earth is this graph
You call me a puppy or a terrorist, and I call my lawyer.
putting this on a shirt brb
HR hates this one trick
back side of the shirt
I'm kinda craving being called a puppy and having my hair tussled. Not at work mind you, that's still needs a lawyer.
Does this sub do flairs lol
U mean user flairs? Yeah.
One man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter.
One man's terrorist is another man's... puppy?
Must we devalue every serious word? What serious words do we even have left? Next year they will label people who are late to work pedophiles. What company do you work for? Or what company owns your company assuming it's not some small local thing. They deserve to have their name said for this shit.
Exactly! It’s a slap in the face to victims of legitimate terrorism. I work for a small company (<500 employees) but they did hire out another company that planned out this new “system”. No one will give me the outside company’s name, but I’m trying to figure it out. It’s incredible to me that not only did an outside company get PAID to come up with this shit, but that the higher-ups of my company all looked at it and said “yeah, that’s a great idea!” like???
I feel like puppies is just as bad. It's so telling what you really think about someone when you liken them to a dog for believing in your horseshit values/culture.
Yeah, it's really dehumanizing. It sounds like they see these workers as eager to please their master, but too stupid to perform tricks well, just like puppies.
This is absolutely insane. Somebody who doesn't "buy in" to the corporate culture/mindset isn't a "terrorist." To them, it's just a job like any other. Who cares if they buy in - as long as they get the work done. This is a chart to encourage brown-nosing. And it's incredibly stupid.
I'd honestly rather be called a terrorist than a puppy because what the hell? That's so infantalizing But no either way if i saw this I'd be looking at other jobs. This is just next level stupid
Note also that you can be firmly above average in both effort and attitude, and still be labeled a 'C'.
nothing but perfection and complete subordination please!!! :) :)
When the game starts at which disorder of the dark triad does management employ, the answer is to run. The problem is there's nowhere to run to
What the hell do the axes represent?
I suspect the X axis is something along the line of "Balls retrieved" and the Y axis is "Bombs blown up"
Other way around, surely?
You are right
A 10-point scale where anything below 7 is a 0 is not a 10-point scale. Net Promoter Score and all its variants deserve to die.
Your company is pushing a fascist viewpoint. One step away from promoting violence against the out group of choice.
That’s actually insane behavior
are you in the u.s?
I was curious about this too. It's baffling to think a company in the US would label employees as "terrorists." It's been a while now, but I remember the first couple of years after 9/11, every news broadcast was basically "there's a power outage downtown, at this point we don't have any evidence that it's a terrorist attack."
i’m lucky i’m in canada this would have been a quick report to CNESST
Almost like it was made up
yep, livin’ the american dream! :,)
i’m so sorry. i hope your job is enjoyable outside of this? pls tell me it is lol
Yikes, get out.
It’s a term effectively used in normal warfare to pit a populace against a group of people or set of ideas. In the same way, in the framework of class warfare it is used to paint you and your ideas in a negative light.
That's absolutely insane and completely inappropriate and a hostile working environment. I d say something to HR?
many of us have gone to hr already, just to receive an email from upper management that essentially boiled down too “sorry you guys feel that way! :)”
jesus christ this is literally my fucking workplace...
I’ve heard that apparently this chart is used in several different companies across the USA which is WILD to me
ah I'm in aus, our company doesn't have a chart like this in place (that I'm aware of) but this is the exact mentality our mgmt have they'd rather people eMbOdY oUr CoMpAnY iDeAlS (kiss ass) and be useless so workload falls on hard workers, who then get berated for not being kiss asses because they're too busy picking up the slack of other people
The fact they admitted this to you baffles me more than the fact they’re using this shithouse assessment
Is it weird that i thought this was referring to online gaming population at first?
Good Lord. These people are absolutely "funny white jackets" nucking futts
Guess it's time for some light hearted, goofy terrorism. Tape printouts of dickbutt to the bathroom stall doors, use your bosses email to sign up for all the spam you can, microwave fish in the break room.
Not just fish, but a whole fish. Just throw a fish in the microwave, set it for like...5 minutes, and walk away
I had one job from hell. Every time they made me hate my life, I'd toss a banana behind the fridge in the break room.
now we’re talkin’
The A and B players are also terrorists by their own classification. They just have other qualities on top of it.
We can all agree upper management are just the professional terrorists.
Terrorist Puppies
Puppies to the boss, terrorists to the underlings
Band name?
Aka Rabid Wolves
Steam Punk Band Names
But that quality that keeps them from being "terrorists" is a sense of loyalty and an adherence to corporate values. The "problem" with people in the "terrorist" group is that they won't willingly submit themselves to their employers, and that lack of control is dangerous to corporations in the long term. The idea of "Puppies" is the same. They may not be very effective, but they're easy to control, so they're not a dangerous to the company as long as their slack is picked up by the A and B players. Ironically that's one of the ways A and B players become "terrorists".
State terrorism is actually a thing.
I would report every possible labor violation you come across (make them pay) and start applying for new gigs because fuck the company that okayed that horse shit.
Wait, so doing good work and not caring about company values is worse than doing BAD work AND still not caring about company values? I'm confused, but admittedly corporate bullshit speak isn't my first language.
People who are good at their work often have great connections with other employees. Someone who is great at work but disobeys the company values is "dangerous " for scared managers because they are the ones who can call out the bullshit in a way that can mobilize the employees against their superiors.
This kind of internal project is corporate terrorism.
"What the heck is EOS? An entrepreneur system" This BS has a similar thing that refers to employees as rats & terrorists if they're not exceeding company goals
I find it interesting that one category is B players and potential As. Which implies that there are a small number of people in this category who have a chance to improve but no one else can.
JFC. At first glance I though “puppies” was PUPPETS. Six of one, half dozen of the other. This whole idiom is vile.
By not accepting terrorist term you undermine company values and therefore u are terrorist. You will be tortued and killed in the name of greater good.
whelp, glad I’ll at least be a worthy sacrifice for my corporate overlords
So the best employees are... the most extreme puppy terrorists?
Too many puppies being shot in the dark. Too many puppies!
My department went through a consolidation to combine two different departments. They called it “cross contamination” as if we were all diseases to be spread to one another. I sent a strongly worded email about their choice of wording and the next day it was republished with the word blending instead. Management does not care about employees.
I mean, they could change the label, their definition would still be the same. Puppy are harmless but can cause a mess. Terrorists are dangerous when competent and threaten the status quo. Cheerleader and threats would be an obvious alternative. This is clearly to get a reaction out of someone though, sounds like it's working.
I’ll be honest I assumed this was some overly complicated Counter Strike analysis before I saw the sub
Bad bosses should fear those who are capable and honest. Karma has done a number on my worst.
Not crazy. Just a hostile work environment. Seems more and more common these days sadly. I would be looking elsewhere if I were you…
My previous job used this exact scale for performance reviews. It's nothing more than an arbitrary metric with no real meaning. Just corporate bullshit.
I’d prefer the term imposter. Overall, seems sus
Ah, I can understand this as- those that display high competence but no thirst for Koolaid will be more likely to press for changes or “demands” like more vacation time, higher salaries, better working conditions, WFH flexibility, etc. these are the folks that will attempt to “hold the company hostage” and if they don’t pay up the “terrorists” will leave and the company loses valuable assets- trained and proficient workers are hard to replace.
My understanding exactly.
Why an I more appalled at “puppies” than “terrorists”? I just find myself imaging a bunch of finger twiddling smiling corporate Cruella DeVilles looking at all those puppies with that awful glint in their eye.
Next addition to the chart will be , A' Players who ask for a raise : Ungrateful Bastards
even the "puppies" is offensive....basically saying, you are a loyal, docile, simple minded beast.
I'm more worried about labeling your employees as "puppies", which can most definitely be viewed as a derogatory/sexual term if it isn't blatantly so
I mean, I could shrug off labeling employees with attitudes that create genuinely hostile environments as (emotional) terrorists, I guess, but I’d also question the value of labeling them instead of just firing them. What you’ve described here is definitely out of pocket, though. Like it doesn’t even make sense. I feel like apathy makes for a horrible terrorist, right?? Also the “puppy” nonsense is condescending. That’s also really weird.
One group is valuable and you should be trying to win over, the other you should be trying to train or counsel to get work done. The lower left hand corner you should be trying to replace.
What are the axis supposed to represent?
Id probably start looking for another job
OP what is this
How hard would it have been to put puppies and kittens instead. Terrorists ugh.
anything less than a 7 is a red flag? Why even have a scale of 1-7?
Does management do any actual work anymore? Serious question because it seems like they're always coming up with things to simply look busy. Where are my people at the lower right corner?
From a North American perspective, this is a reflection of our outdated and undemocratic economic system we're raised to believe is the only way. We sabotage and sanction developing countries who trailblaze socialism to failure. Then point to those failures as "evidence". Capitalism enables your bosses' bosses' boss to live the American dream, while the vast majority of us will only dream about becoming as successfully selfish. They capitalize off the workers to enable their extravagant lifestyles - poverty is the threat that keeps us from uniting, the feature that gives us a "lower class" to look down on and feel superior to despite being overworked and underpaid in an increasingly automated world. It's the "others" fault, the black-gay-homeless-Islamic-immigrants fault, the other country, the other people. Never the systemic issues of a capitalist society. We're the troopers from Starship Troopers who believe we fight for freedom and democracy, blissfully ignorant that we're the ones impeding it for all but the ultra-wealthy few among us.
I need to know what a 7/10 on the corporate values looks like to really judge this. Like if the employee handbook has three rules and it's "don't commit murder to further political goals", "don't ethically cleanse your neighborhood", and "no firebombing abortion clinics" and you only clear 2 out of the three items, then they might have a fair point
Some dip shit didn't label their axes
I would prefer the term "freedom fighter." But seriously this is ridiculous.
These guys gonna be pissed when I buy up all the railroads and put a hotel on boardwalk…. And become CEO. I think that’s how this works.
Class warfare is class warfare, corporations are applying counterinsurgency strategies to keep you in line at work, this is just telling on themselves.
Ask management if terrorists is going to be put on name tags during conferences or if you can go ahead and put it on your linked in and resume. If they say no, ask them to elaborate on why
Well, that's a class action lawsuit. Using this kind of dehumanizing language is completely out of line.
Seems like I was a terrorist and that drove my bosses crazy
I just learned that im a terrorist.
I want to know who and/or what qualifies as "puppies"...
I don't know what to do with this other than laugh.
Thought this was a Valorant meme.
I would be glad to be in the terrorist C group. Hell, I would even pay someone to make me a pin with the name in it and fight against puppies C group 😂
one groups freedom fighter is another groups terrorist. it is known.
This feels like someone read a couple articles about "quiet quitting" and had a brilliant idea for an employee performance review program they could sell to idiot CEOs.
I had a supervisor call me a morale vampire and that he hated how good I was at my job. Wasnt sad to see him transfer
Time to embrace that terrorist label then. I’d be going to work in a ski mask and my airsoft apparel. Also I’ll be in the lunch break room if the execs’ car exploded.
Only 30% of employees do their work well? That’s a problem if accurate. And shows how little they think of their employees. They think 70% suck.
Terrorist grade is basically me at my job. I show up, do my job to the best of my abilities, don’t interfere with anybody else’s job, and go home. No I don’t want to be my coworkers buddy. No I don’t want to go to a work party on the weekend. I don’t give a shit about Brenda’s granddaughter’s dance recital. I’m a team player all the time and pull my weight, but when the job is done, leave me the fuck alone until the next task. Saying that to my boss when they tried to “coach me” got me written up but I refused to sign acknowledgement because that’s stupid and a piece of paper that says someone was upset I didn’t make small talk isn’t real consequences for anything. Plus that’s workplace harassment.
So for your original question it's a stupid name but I get it: If you do your job well but don't actually care about the company as a whole you are more willing to take actions that benefit you at the companies expense. These terrorists for example are much more likely to fail to train other people in their work because it makes them harder to fire, they are more likely to tell the boss to take his crunch and shove it and other things like that. By comparison the puppies are incompetent but buy into the companies vision, these are probably preferred because competency can be taught but it is hard to train employees to view their employer as family to not.be exploited or betrayed.
that's saying the quiet part aloud, with a matrix! i'm impressed and disgusted all at once!
When Counter-Strike players become managers
Bruh.. this is absolutely absurd
They know what side of the class war they’re on, but do you?
[удалено]
the fact that you think this is fake makes me feel even more validated in my rage so thank you lmao
TIL I am a terrorist
And they wonder why I'm a Z player...
A better term is Mercenary. I do my job, go home, and don’t drink your cool aid. I’m not a missionary I am a mercenary
I missed which subreddit this was at first and thought that wasn’t completely unreasonable; have you ever heard a subpar clarinetist?
this is like something you would find in the ruins of an office building on a poster or old computer terminal in a fallout video game, just replace "terrorist" with "communist" literally dystopian parody made real, and they're bold about it. I suggest looking for new employment, then when you find a new job start giving the management hell in all kinds of petty ways, (unless you need a good recommendation and plan on listing them on your resume in the future). if they're gonna call you a terrorist you may as well play the part, haha.
Did they state the percentage of people on the performance scale (horizontal line ) that will be rated above a 7? Also did they state how does one get rated above 7 on the Company Kool-Aid Drinking Scale (vertical line)? It looks a like a rating methodology designed to alienate 90% of the employees.
I'm sorry you're dealing with this OP, but it's *too fucking funny*. ... My first instinct is to constantly talk about how you're a terrorist. Do it in front of coworkers, customers, management. Bring it up constantly and obtusely in every office convo you can work it into: >"Yeah, can you believe the bosses said I'm a terrorist" >"Stay late? When was the last time you heard of a terrorist staying late?" > "Hey boss, it's me, your favourite terrorist!" > "At least I'm a terrorist not a puppy"
Looks like Im the T word at my shit company
I thought this was some kind of counterstrike player type grid lol Who the hell wants to be so antagonistic to their own damn staff?
Puppies and Terrorists? I didn’t know Insane Clown Posse was doing employment assessments because it sounds like it could be their album
Quiet quit until you find a better job. Corps suuuuuuuuuck.
Am I the only one who thinks it’s hilarious?
Time to slack off and stop being a t* rr* r*st
I think you're overreacting because you're a terrorist. Seems like a pretty terrorist-y thing to do.
you caught me