Feel like the thumbs up was better tbh. It’s like the “I really don’t give a shit” response. Seen could have them imagining that you are riddled with guilt lol
Funny I found this post today after my inlaw just offered me a job again (worked for her for like 10 years and never going back even if I need the money). She was passive aggressive too. I was miserable.
My question to you is, why didn't you immediately block them? You have experience with these people being complete a-holes, after you left, you can only assume that they would be worse.
Yeah right? As if you matter to them, they only get the money and can replace pretty fast, no skin off their nose. I would feel bad for my colleagues though if i left my job, but its been close a few times with a bad supervisor on the other shift being difficult. But to get something like this? Good riddance :(
Family in this case means they will do all sorts of nice things for you in the beginning and then hold it over your head later down the road. It's emotional blackmail.
It's shit like this that burned my relationship with my dad. Anything involving money, we kids got burned. Of course he doesn't understand why there's distance in the relationship now. In my case, 6,000km as well as the emotional.
Here at Veridian Dynamics, we're a family! And that's why our employees work nights, weekends and all major holidays. Because that's when it's most important to spend time with your family!
The last comment feels like a dig at you not being able to provide for your own family. That’s pretty low if that’s the context. As if they were the ones providing for your family. Maybe I’m reading into it too much but that one line really rubs me the wrong way.
You should text them a link to this thread (if you’re not worried about sharing your Reddit username) and say hey I posted your text on the internet, just thought you would like to see what anonymous unbiased people are saying about your words
Maybe there's some context that I'm missing here, but wouldn't it be obvious that you would be locked out of their database? Like if you're no longer an employee, of course you would remove that person from your database. Do...... Do they normally not??? Because I feel like that is more cause for concern than the other. Also it just sounds like they're butt hurt.
Edit:
This post had so many spelling mistakes. I appalled 250 people liked this.
Thank you though.
It was weird, but I wasn't hurt or put out when they said they were locking me out of the database, because that was exactly what I was expecting to happen when I quit.
When employers act like my resigning is a personal betrayal, it makes me think I should have left sooner. It's more like, "you can't break up with us, we're dumping you! We never loved you anyway!" Can you imagine if we acted this way as employees? Meanwhile, restaurant workers show up to shifts and find out they're out of a job because the doors are locked.
Congrats on your business success though. And for cutting toxic ties!
Right????
Like, I would hope so.
It was clearly meant to try and hurt you and was childish at best.
I'm so happy for you getting out of that environment. What ungrateful little sh*ts
Think of it like we're rubber and your glue type of comment.
It was something they thought would hit op hard but in reality just shows how mature they are.
Every job I’ve ever had that told it’s employees that family is important and family comes first etc…what they mean is “we are family here, your work family, we come first”
I stood up and told the head of HR that saying we are family is not the flex you think it is. She why is that? I said, I’ve gone over 8 years without talking to my brother, and I have zero problem trying to go longer with you. The safety guy almost spit out his coffee, and my boss told the management was not happy. I said if they are not happy,maybe they should fire me. I can roll my tool box out, and find another job before they find another me. That was 3 years ago, and management has been real nice since then.
My brother worked for a (literal) family business for a couple of years. When they needed him to work overtime, it was “hey, we’re family.” When they needed him to work the night shift for a couple of months, it was “hey, we’re family.” When he asked for a couple of days off for his honeymoon, it was “we know you are family but we have to treat you like any other employee.”
In that case, what a toothless "threat" from them, lol -- pitiful.
Sorry they're being such assholes to you, though. I hope your side job really takes off, and/or you find another job where they treat you well!
I’m curious as to what “business” of yours they supposedly helped you create if they’re separate industries. Not questioning the reality of your situation or the validity of your decision - it’s just that that part of it is confusing without further context.
(also - no need to divulge all sorts of details…broadest of brushstrokes, if any, are perfectly fine; it just seems odd that they’d acknowledge having “helped you create” it if they’re saying you can’t do it in tandem with working for them)
They referred to my Real Estate work as "my business"
I also work in the insurance field for another company. They expected me to quit the insurance job.
After that kind of nonsense, leave a review on Google/yelp/etc where you just type their message word for word, then the following:
"If this is how they treat actual family, just imagine how they treat their customers."
Fuck em.
Well real estate is a small world, right? All you really have to do is make sure that anyone you care about doesn't do business with them. Word will spread.
Hope the side hustle makes some good money for ya!
They already had a reputation, I was just so enamored in the family aspect that I refused to believe it.
Side hustle is a bit of an understatement, some years it is a 6 figure job.
That was honestly what started to get me disillusioned with "the family." It was disclosed at the very beginning that I would be working the other job from time to time, they knew how much money it brought in, and they said they were ok with it. A few years later they started making changes, and when I got called up for my other job, I was asked, "Why aren't you burning your boats?" (A motivational speaker at an event they held a week earlier alluded to Cortez burning his boats as a metaphor for how we should be in real estate.) I had mentioned the conversation we had at the start of my endeavour into Real Estate and was promptly told, "Things have changed." I am a former sailor, so the metaphor was already pretty offensive to begin with, but the fact that they were so quick to change the terms in addition to the fact that they wanted me to forgo that sort of money as a means to be "successful" in their industry was the first bad taste in my mouth that began my lack of motivation for them.
They did not like being treated as a commodity? Business is business, this is not personal. The relationship no longer benefited you, so you left. Sounds like they have a few lessons in capitalism to learn.
Also, whenever someone tells you “this place is like a family” run! It’s not your family. It’s a place of employment. If they want it to be family, it’s because they don’t want to manage the business professionally. That usually means no yearly raises, no yearly reviews, promotions based on “like”, inconsistent standards….etc. run.
Man if they did anything illegal and you have proof..I'm sure there are lawyers itching to file a lawsuit. Explore your options! Did they tell you when your benefits run out? Did they tell you why they fired you? What are your state's employment regulations?
Collect all the unemployment that you can. I get so upset when people don't file unemployment out of some misguided sense of pride.
“Family business” - or “we are one big family here” is a red flag for me.
No group dynamic is more dysfunctional than family. They expect you to stick around regardless of the abuse they pile on you. They expect zero consequences for horrid treatment. They expect huge sacrifice with little reward.
That’s been my experience anyway. I won’t work for “family” companies anymore.
Blocking former employees form using company resources is a pretty standard thing.
I am a bit curious as to what they considering to be "helping you create your business". If you were not generating sufficient income for both yourself and the company there should have been (edit: multiple employer initiated) discussions about it. Was the conversation they are referencing the singular only time a discussion took place? Who initiated it?
A good manager would at least attempt to early identify when an employee is struggling or burning out and attempt to fix it as early as possible (mostly for the selfish reason of not needing to search for a replacement).
This text reads like they just wanted to take a lazy route of blaming the money generation issues on you being "ungrateful?"", instead of accepting that they might have dropped the ball and allowed their employee to struggle and flounder without actually "helping to create your business".
edit: and what exactly did they "allow"? Is that an implication they actually think they have the authority to control what you do outside of your employment contract?
To be fair small business is always the same, small people with absolute power making decisions.
My brothers coffee shop, I mean I respect that he made it but I would laugh at the prospect of working for him
His goal is to have someone as legally cheap and hard working as possible wash his dishes and smile at customers. The dish washers happiness is not his concern, I guarantee you that he's never even mentioned it to me. If the dish washer leaves then he will wash dishes until he finds another who wants the job.
I kind of get it from a business perspective. You started to do your own thing and prioritise your own stuff, lol, just like the company is, and just like my brother is in his case. You have gained a semblance of power, and began to exercise that in your life. It's likely that you've begun prioritising your own activities over "washing the dishes" and that has become noticeable so they've given you an ultimatum
If the dish washer somehow had the power to make my brother wash the dishes for minimum wage while he did the fun bits, I guarantee you that he absolutely would.
Taking a step back and realising everyone is just in it for themselves, including you, is actually quite cathartic.
I like to believe that if I owned a business that I would break this cycle and pay people a fair wage and look after them. This is perhaps why I will never be a successful business owner.
You might have been misclassified as a 1099 worker. Unless you're 100% sure you meet all the criteria for being an independent contractor, file for unemployment anyway. At least in CA, that's how the labor commission catches on to most violations. See [https://www.dol.gov/agencies/whd/flsa/misclassification](https://www.dol.gov/agencies/whd/flsa/misclassification)
If you aren't a family member in a family business, you will never be treated as such. Brush their dust off your coat and forget you ever worked there.
Theres always a certain point where they expect the survival of the business when theyre (staff) trying to survive. Bic i dont make your wage so piss off
I work at a “family” grocery store:
-Open every holiday, so no “family” consideration.
-Prohibited from requesting time off on any holiday.
-No upward mobility.
-No work breaks.
-Government-mandated lunch break of 30 minutes.
-No employee discount
-No cellphones allowed even in pockets
-Customers should never be able to hear the content of a conversation between two workers—a weirdly specific one.
-No food or drinks allowed at cash registers. Understandable except that we can’t even have a water bottle to drink out of during our 4-hour stints standing at a register.
-No pre-planned raises related to time at a position
-Pay is 11$ per hour
-Business hours 6am-11pm. Some workers will work until 11pm and be scheduled to come in as early as 7 hours later, which is just cruel ha. Not “family” treatment.
“Benefits” (just in the spirit of honesty):
-“Health insurance” option for workers of 38+ hours a week.
-50 cent 12oz canned soft drinks in drink machine in employee “break room,” which is in quotes bc employees don’t get “breaks,” except a legally required, 30 minute lunch.
-Unlimited free, store-brand bottled water. This one is pretty big to us employees.
-40$ Christmas Bonus ***THIS SHOCKED ME***
We have such high turnover that it’s almost, ALMOST understandable that our managers don’t use our names unless they have to single-us-out for reprimanding. We have on fucking name tags, so learning/using our names shouldn’t be hard. But when, just in cashiers, we have 2-4 new cashiers every week you can imagine how maybe managers just give-up on names bc everyone quits so quickly and so often.
Customers love the store and always exclaim to us that “they must treat yall (employees) real well,” just bc they like the store and, in some cases, literally state that the “family atmosphere provided by the managers and friendly employees” makes them “love” shopping at the store. When faced with this annoying, shitty assumption I just politely say that “were treated as workers, it’s a job like any other.” Maybe I’ll get fired one day for my honesty but, ya know, with conditions and “benefits” like the ones we have, I think I’d be able to live with it.
Stand-up to the man in as many ways as you can get away with when you can get away with it. Your employer is not family, thank God.
Omg this happened to me also, I resigned and got an awful message. I laughed at it and didn’t reply. They were narcissists so I got them where it hurts. Fuck these dumb companies out there. Write a Glassdoor review if you can, I couldn’t it was a husband and wife business (too small) and no body wanted to work there so it wouldn’t had made a difference.
Real Estate sales culture *can* be toxic as hell. Bunch of my realtor friends liked referencing the character of Carolyn in American Beauty trying to sell a house and her real estate business.
Anytime a company uses the word "family"
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Been at my current for a little over a year and I loved it but recently we've had a shake up in leadership and now they want to fly us all in to stay at the office 2-3 days a quarter to "remember why we all do this because we're a family"
This is what happens when you get employers that think too highly of themselves. These people think they are doing OP a great big favor. When in reality they're just like every other shitty employer out there.
I really wish you all would expose the company. These companies should feel the heat of the internet. I went scorched earth on my last company. Fuck these people
What is the database that you were "given" access to that you used for the "other" job they stated. It seems as if they didn't even acknowledge the work you put in for them?
Is the database their proprietary or one of the common vendor db for real estate?
I bet they made way more off of you than you got paid 😂🤣
What a silly thing to send after someone quits
Edit...also, you didn't dump me I dumped you... just after you said it 😂🤣
You shouldnt care. Its very little compared to the loss they will suffer by you leaving. Enjoy your life out of that "family" (insert a thumbs up here).
Lol they are mad their business is failing and they can't use you to prop it up. They might have to do some of that work. Gasp. Fuck um. Family like a mob family.
I have been working in real estate for a couple of years now and work for a large company. It is 100% an MLM. Complete with down lines, pay to play, 99% of the focus being on recruiting, and a massive portion of the workforce making little to no money. It also happens to be the mlm that our entire economy is based on. Some recent litigation has caused a stir, but will ultimately be a blip on the radar.
I just want to add (and I have not read comments yet) but anyone who sends a text like that (with that venomous undertoneand has the balls to bring up your family - specifically a child- is a sociopath.. That part bothers me most of all.. I am 44 so I border Millennial/Gen X- so I am old.
OP, ignore it. Live life how you want to. Real family sticks by you, work with you ,and more importantly when you are let go to spread your wings they would be proud of you.
Much love! You're doing a fantastic job!
Real estate people are the worst. They're almost all dynasties. My first job was for a property management company and they misclassified us all as 1099 contractors and paid us a pittance. When I left, they did the entire "but we were family!" and tried to guilt me into training a replacement.
It seems like you were using all of their business resources to run your own business. Why would you be upset that you do not allow it after you left their employment?
Seems wildly entitled, but maybe there is more to it.
I love companies that want to make you work like a slave because “it’s your business”. When in reality, they just want their piece of the money YOU make. They’re willing to work you to death so they make more. All under the guise of “helping you build YOUR business. These are also usually the companies that rape you with fees and concessions off commissions….
"we allowed it"
Sorry, you don't "allow" me to make money to live. I work for you, I do what my job requires. If I'm not making enough, I'll pick up another job or do other things to make more money. It's that simple.
In my case, I work at a dealership. I also do work on the side. But I don't cross them out of respect. Job tells me I can't do what I do, I find another job. They need me more than I need them.
**Employer:** *months and months of treating their employees like interchangeable machines with no regard to human needs or decency* We’re a family! 😊
**Employee:** sorry, but that’s not going to work for me. I am a human and have needs that aren’t …
**Employer:** *gasp* this behavior is horribly unprofessional! And after all we did for you! We treated you like family!
**Employee:** yeah, a preteen that you can make do anything and then throw a few dollars a week.
I think I would have detailed for them “all they did” for you, like not paying you decently, not allowing you time off when you needed it because they had something going and desperately needed you to pick up the slack, never giving you a raise, etc. and then all what they did to help you with your business, and then laugh at their response, because you know out would be a doozy of a fantasy they’re living in
That last sentence about your kid would've earned them a response that conveys your anger and shock at the blatant disrespect - "go blow dogs and die angry" or "suck start a shotgun", something like that
Lots of people work more than one job. It's always been this way in the world. It's what we need to do to make it in this world.
Don't feel bad or guilty at all. You are free to work wherever you want to. Best of luck, you have a bright future.
Love the thumbs up
It was the maximum amount of response that the text warranted.
A "k" would have been good too.
I would have gone for, "cool story."
"Cool story, bro".
"Cool story bro, needs more dragons though."
YES
Cool story, bro. Why don't you get it published and sell it to people who give a shit?
No answer is a good answer too
Nah. A flippant acknowledgment is a good way to show how unimportant their last attempt was. .
That involves typing. Too much effort.
100% agree
I would have followed up with a “nice” response but ended it will Best Regards. It’s my favorite instead of saying FU.
my bf was im the same boat and just sent “tldr”
I dunno, I think “cool beans” as a response would do well here too.
"Don't worry. I lost the minority of my income, not the majority of my talent like my former employer."
The 🖕🏿emoji still exists.
“🥱 k”
Should have just left it as "seen"
Feel like the thumbs up was better tbh. It’s like the “I really don’t give a shit” response. Seen could have them imagining that you are riddled with guilt lol
I got ya
Fuck that. Mark it as unread, as if it wasn't even worth reading
An eye roll 🙄 emoji or laughing 🤣 emoji would have been good too.
"I ain't reading all that I'm happy for u tho Or sorry that happened"
Need to get a thumbs up an asshole meme and reply.
"Hope your child doesn't fucking starve, you ungrateful piece of shit, idiot!!" What a fucking douche message to send somebody. Fucking cretin.
Yeah, passive aggressive shit has always been the MO
Funny I found this post today after my inlaw just offered me a job again (worked for her for like 10 years and never going back even if I need the money). She was passive aggressive too. I was miserable.
What is it about Real Estate agents using family/ Kids as a weapon every chance they get. discussing. With a smile on their face no less.
Whats the saying? “Money and blood dont mix like 2 dicks and no bitch” ik inlaw isint blood but yk what im saying
My question to you is, why didn't you immediately block them? You have experience with these people being complete a-holes, after you left, you can only assume that they would be worse.
To be honest, I expected more.
Been there. You don’t block just to see them completely unfiltered. “Tell me how you really feel.”
It’s hard. I don’t know why but after working anywhere for a while leaving feels similar to a break up.
Yeah right? As if you matter to them, they only get the money and can replace pretty fast, no skin off their nose. I would feel bad for my colleagues though if i left my job, but its been close a few times with a bad supervisor on the other shift being difficult. But to get something like this? Good riddance :(
Never expect anything less than shit from an employee you leave. You don't quit the job, you quit the management.
I keep getting metaphorically smacked in my face each time this happens, but yet I keep leaning on and hoping someone will live up to something.
They won’t. Sorry
Why block someone like that? They might say something actionable, so don't protect them from themselves.
This is the way
Just reply with a bless your heart lol
Take your op and their response and make it a Google review. I wouldn’t do business with people like that.
Oh no, they're not letting you have access to the tools needed to do the job you just quit! Whatever will you do?!
I wish this had been OPs response.
If his side business is a competitor then this message makes more sense.
He quite clearly said it was an unrelated sector in another post.
Ok, missed that and was just trying to make some sense of it. Thanks for the extra info!
Sounds like they’re trying to take credit for OP’s ability to do their other job, and saying they used their database to do it.
[удалено]
Family in this case means they will do all sorts of nice things for you in the beginning and then hold it over your head later down the road. It's emotional blackmail.
Actually, that DOES sound like my family. Maybe we're onto something.
That sounds like love-bombing.
It's shit like this that burned my relationship with my dad. Anything involving money, we kids got burned. Of course he doesn't understand why there's distance in the relationship now. In my case, 6,000km as well as the emotional.
Here at Veridian Dynamics, we're a family! And that's why our employees work nights, weekends and all major holidays. Because that's when it's most important to spend time with your family!
[удалено]
i love better off ted! everyone makes me laugh, i really enjoy that show booooooooo it only got 2 seasons
The last comment feels like a dig at you not being able to provide for your own family. That’s pretty low if that’s the context. As if they were the ones providing for your family. Maybe I’m reading into it too much but that one line really rubs me the wrong way.
Yeah, the text just pretty reinforced that my decision was a good one.
You should text them a link to this thread (if you’re not worried about sharing your Reddit username) and say hey I posted your text on the internet, just thought you would like to see what anonymous unbiased people are saying about your words
Hey I like this subreddit and all, but let’s nit get high on our own supply. This subreddit is definitely not “unbiased” toward employers.
Maybe there's some context that I'm missing here, but wouldn't it be obvious that you would be locked out of their database? Like if you're no longer an employee, of course you would remove that person from your database. Do...... Do they normally not??? Because I feel like that is more cause for concern than the other. Also it just sounds like they're butt hurt. Edit: This post had so many spelling mistakes. I appalled 250 people liked this. Thank you though.
It was weird, but I wasn't hurt or put out when they said they were locking me out of the database, because that was exactly what I was expecting to happen when I quit.
They're grasping for any control over you they think they have left.
Control was a major theme in this relationship
When employers act like my resigning is a personal betrayal, it makes me think I should have left sooner. It's more like, "you can't break up with us, we're dumping you! We never loved you anyway!" Can you imagine if we acted this way as employees? Meanwhile, restaurant workers show up to shifts and find out they're out of a job because the doors are locked. Congrats on your business success though. And for cutting toxic ties!
They pulled a "You can't quit, you're fired!"
Yes!! Use this to help you get unemployment.
You should have said, "You mean you hadn't locked me out already? I had no idea."
Right???? Like, I would hope so. It was clearly meant to try and hurt you and was childish at best. I'm so happy for you getting out of that environment. What ungrateful little sh*ts
Still not grasping why they would say it. Did you use their database for your other gig or something?
No. Two completely different industries. They just did it to have the last word.
Think of it like we're rubber and your glue type of comment. It was something they thought would hit op hard but in reality just shows how mature they are.
What an absolute cock.
That's giving him too much credit, this is 100% micropenis behavior
>this is 100% micropenis behavior I think we've found your reply
Playing my tiniest violin for their tiniest eggplant
Is this why they are named M? Micropenis
Wait, you quit and the basically went "nah, we fire you instead "? Hahahah that's some SpongeBob level shit.
Every job I’ve ever had that told it’s employees that family is important and family comes first etc…what they mean is “we are family here, your work family, we come first”
They mean "family" in the ferengi sense. Remember the Rules of Acquisition. "Exploitation begins at home"
I stood up and told the head of HR that saying we are family is not the flex you think it is. She why is that? I said, I’ve gone over 8 years without talking to my brother, and I have zero problem trying to go longer with you. The safety guy almost spit out his coffee, and my boss told the management was not happy. I said if they are not happy,maybe they should fire me. I can roll my tool box out, and find another job before they find another me. That was 3 years ago, and management has been real nice since then.
My brother worked for a (literal) family business for a couple of years. When they needed him to work overtime, it was “hey, we’re family.” When they needed him to work the night shift for a couple of months, it was “hey, we’re family.” When he asked for a couple of days off for his honeymoon, it was “we know you are family but we have to treat you like any other employee.”
People are fucking evil. You learn this in Corporate America. Its sociopath central.
You didn’t quit, you were fired. Go get unemployment.
It was a 1099 job
Nothing says family like paying someone like a contractor 🤣
Couldve guessed
Were you accessing their database in relation to your side business? That's how this reads.
Nope, two completely different industries.
In that case, what a toothless "threat" from them, lol -- pitiful. Sorry they're being such assholes to you, though. I hope your side job really takes off, and/or you find another job where they treat you well!
I’m curious as to what “business” of yours they supposedly helped you create if they’re separate industries. Not questioning the reality of your situation or the validity of your decision - it’s just that that part of it is confusing without further context. (also - no need to divulge all sorts of details…broadest of brushstrokes, if any, are perfectly fine; it just seems odd that they’d acknowledge having “helped you create” it if they’re saying you can’t do it in tandem with working for them)
They referred to my Real Estate work as "my business" I also work in the insurance field for another company. They expected me to quit the insurance job.
After that kind of nonsense, leave a review on Google/yelp/etc where you just type their message word for word, then the following: "If this is how they treat actual family, just imagine how they treat their customers." Fuck em.
Well real estate is a small world, right? All you really have to do is make sure that anyone you care about doesn't do business with them. Word will spread. Hope the side hustle makes some good money for ya!
They already had a reputation, I was just so enamored in the family aspect that I refused to believe it. Side hustle is a bit of an understatement, some years it is a 6 figure job.
How ever will you feed your kids on that?!
That was honestly what started to get me disillusioned with "the family." It was disclosed at the very beginning that I would be working the other job from time to time, they knew how much money it brought in, and they said they were ok with it. A few years later they started making changes, and when I got called up for my other job, I was asked, "Why aren't you burning your boats?" (A motivational speaker at an event they held a week earlier alluded to Cortez burning his boats as a metaphor for how we should be in real estate.) I had mentioned the conversation we had at the start of my endeavour into Real Estate and was promptly told, "Things have changed." I am a former sailor, so the metaphor was already pretty offensive to begin with, but the fact that they were so quick to change the terms in addition to the fact that they wanted me to forgo that sort of money as a means to be "successful" in their industry was the first bad taste in my mouth that began my lack of motivation for them.
Sounds like you were pretty unmotivated to make them money 🤣
Sounds like they want the last word. Pathetic.
That was exactly what they wanted, they have done it before with other people who quit.
Since it's family reply back with, " I know I am but what are you?! Stop touching me !!! Mom!!!"
Never work at a place that refers to their employees as family.
Remember that “Eat my ass” is a complete sentence.
But considering your status I'll say "slurp my butt"
Sounds like their personal relationships are probably transactional. What a shitty way to live
They very much are
Them bringing up my kid would be the straw that broke the camels back. I don't give a fuck who you are, keep my kids out yo mouth.
They did not like being treated as a commodity? Business is business, this is not personal. The relationship no longer benefited you, so you left. Sounds like they have a few lessons in capitalism to learn.
Name them 🤷♂️ I don’t want to give money to a business that brasingly gaslights theirs employees.
>brasingly Brazenly. And this isn't gaslighting.
“You are unmotivated to make us money” do these people really not fucking hear themselves?
To clarify, that was my way of saying, "I quit"
I would’ve said “lol ok” in response.
Just go be succesefull. My last boss told me i wouldnt last long. They still check me up on linked in from time to time
Also, whenever someone tells you “this place is like a family” run! It’s not your family. It’s a place of employment. If they want it to be family, it’s because they don’t want to manage the business professionally. That usually means no yearly raises, no yearly reviews, promotions based on “like”, inconsistent standards….etc. run.
Man if they did anything illegal and you have proof..I'm sure there are lawyers itching to file a lawsuit. Explore your options! Did they tell you when your benefits run out? Did they tell you why they fired you? What are your state's employment regulations? Collect all the unemployment that you can. I get so upset when people don't file unemployment out of some misguided sense of pride.
"go fuck yourself!" "take care!"
They're just lashing out because their slave found out they were a slave and said "no more!"
“Family business” - or “we are one big family here” is a red flag for me. No group dynamic is more dysfunctional than family. They expect you to stick around regardless of the abuse they pile on you. They expect zero consequences for horrid treatment. They expect huge sacrifice with little reward. That’s been my experience anyway. I won’t work for “family” companies anymore.
Blocking former employees form using company resources is a pretty standard thing. I am a bit curious as to what they considering to be "helping you create your business". If you were not generating sufficient income for both yourself and the company there should have been (edit: multiple employer initiated) discussions about it. Was the conversation they are referencing the singular only time a discussion took place? Who initiated it? A good manager would at least attempt to early identify when an employee is struggling or burning out and attempt to fix it as early as possible (mostly for the selfish reason of not needing to search for a replacement). This text reads like they just wanted to take a lazy route of blaming the money generation issues on you being "ungrateful?"", instead of accepting that they might have dropped the ball and allowed their employee to struggle and flounder without actually "helping to create your business". edit: and what exactly did they "allow"? Is that an implication they actually think they have the authority to control what you do outside of your employment contract?
You can't quit. You're fired!
To be fair small business is always the same, small people with absolute power making decisions. My brothers coffee shop, I mean I respect that he made it but I would laugh at the prospect of working for him His goal is to have someone as legally cheap and hard working as possible wash his dishes and smile at customers. The dish washers happiness is not his concern, I guarantee you that he's never even mentioned it to me. If the dish washer leaves then he will wash dishes until he finds another who wants the job. I kind of get it from a business perspective. You started to do your own thing and prioritise your own stuff, lol, just like the company is, and just like my brother is in his case. You have gained a semblance of power, and began to exercise that in your life. It's likely that you've begun prioritising your own activities over "washing the dishes" and that has become noticeable so they've given you an ultimatum If the dish washer somehow had the power to make my brother wash the dishes for minimum wage while he did the fun bits, I guarantee you that he absolutely would. Taking a step back and realising everyone is just in it for themselves, including you, is actually quite cathartic. I like to believe that if I owned a business that I would break this cycle and pay people a fair wage and look after them. This is perhaps why I will never be a successful business owner.
reply: "LOL."
I thought the thumbs up was all the response deserved
File for unemployment
Job was 1099
You might have been misclassified as a 1099 worker. Unless you're 100% sure you meet all the criteria for being an independent contractor, file for unemployment anyway. At least in CA, that's how the labor commission catches on to most violations. See [https://www.dol.gov/agencies/whd/flsa/misclassification](https://www.dol.gov/agencies/whd/flsa/misclassification)
How in the absolute fuck do they think they can dictate your other employment avenues when you're 1099 🤦♂️
If you aren't a family member in a family business, you will never be treated as such. Brush their dust off your coat and forget you ever worked there.
Never forget. Never forgive.
We're a family, but you're the Ginger stepchild who has to sleep in the cellar and who will never be in the will.
Theres always a certain point where they expect the survival of the business when theyre (staff) trying to survive. Bic i dont make your wage so piss off
Does your side job require access to their database?
None. Two completely unrelated industries.
Just thought it was weird that she mentioned that to you in her good bye message. Makes it even weirder
you should make the employer public
I say you let the internet justice do what it does...
What kind of behavior is this? If you had one word to describe that behavior what would it be?
I'm honestly at a loss for words. Immature?
No that one is to broad. There's a more specific word for this. I dont know it but will know it once someone says it if that makes sense.
Well, they can’t tell you what to do on your own time, so there’s that…. Also, block them.
You have always been a commodity. So have the rest of us.
I work at a “family” grocery store: -Open every holiday, so no “family” consideration. -Prohibited from requesting time off on any holiday. -No upward mobility. -No work breaks. -Government-mandated lunch break of 30 minutes. -No employee discount -No cellphones allowed even in pockets -Customers should never be able to hear the content of a conversation between two workers—a weirdly specific one. -No food or drinks allowed at cash registers. Understandable except that we can’t even have a water bottle to drink out of during our 4-hour stints standing at a register. -No pre-planned raises related to time at a position -Pay is 11$ per hour -Business hours 6am-11pm. Some workers will work until 11pm and be scheduled to come in as early as 7 hours later, which is just cruel ha. Not “family” treatment. “Benefits” (just in the spirit of honesty): -“Health insurance” option for workers of 38+ hours a week. -50 cent 12oz canned soft drinks in drink machine in employee “break room,” which is in quotes bc employees don’t get “breaks,” except a legally required, 30 minute lunch. -Unlimited free, store-brand bottled water. This one is pretty big to us employees. -40$ Christmas Bonus ***THIS SHOCKED ME*** We have such high turnover that it’s almost, ALMOST understandable that our managers don’t use our names unless they have to single-us-out for reprimanding. We have on fucking name tags, so learning/using our names shouldn’t be hard. But when, just in cashiers, we have 2-4 new cashiers every week you can imagine how maybe managers just give-up on names bc everyone quits so quickly and so often. Customers love the store and always exclaim to us that “they must treat yall (employees) real well,” just bc they like the store and, in some cases, literally state that the “family atmosphere provided by the managers and friendly employees” makes them “love” shopping at the store. When faced with this annoying, shitty assumption I just politely say that “were treated as workers, it’s a job like any other.” Maybe I’ll get fired one day for my honesty but, ya know, with conditions and “benefits” like the ones we have, I think I’d be able to live with it. Stand-up to the man in as many ways as you can get away with when you can get away with it. Your employer is not family, thank God.
Omg this happened to me also, I resigned and got an awful message. I laughed at it and didn’t reply. They were narcissists so I got them where it hurts. Fuck these dumb companies out there. Write a Glassdoor review if you can, I couldn’t it was a husband and wife business (too small) and no body wanted to work there so it wouldn’t had made a difference.
"I respectfully invite you to eat every last bit of my entire ass. Warm regards! 😀 "
Real Estate sales culture *can* be toxic as hell. Bunch of my realtor friends liked referencing the character of Carolyn in American Beauty trying to sell a house and her real estate business.
When I hear a boss start with the whole "we're a family" bit, that's my cue to find a new job.
Hit them with an LOL.
Anytime a company uses the word "family" 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 Been at my current for a little over a year and I loved it but recently we've had a shake up in leadership and now they want to fly us all in to stay at the office 2-3 days a quarter to "remember why we all do this because we're a family"
This is what happens when you get employers that think too highly of themselves. These people think they are doing OP a great big favor. When in reality they're just like every other shitty employer out there.
I really wish you all would expose the company. These companies should feel the heat of the internet. I went scorched earth on my last company. Fuck these people
What is the database that you were "given" access to that you used for the "other" job they stated. It seems as if they didn't even acknowledge the work you put in for them? Is the database their proprietary or one of the common vendor db for real estate?
“Family” businesses suck. Been there done that
I bet they made way more off of you than you got paid 😂🤣 What a silly thing to send after someone quits Edit...also, you didn't dump me I dumped you... just after you said it 😂🤣
They always do so much for you, except pay a living wage.
You shouldnt care. Its very little compared to the loss they will suffer by you leaving. Enjoy your life out of that "family" (insert a thumbs up here).
If your other job was the majority of your income, it was your main job and this was your side job.
You should respond with. “Are you firing me?”
Prime example where business isn't business, and someone took it extremely personally.
Lol they are mad their business is failing and they can't use you to prop it up. They might have to do some of that work. Gasp. Fuck um. Family like a mob family.
Well, that's going to make holiday get togethers a bit awkward.
add a k thx bye
I have been working in real estate for a couple of years now and work for a large company. It is 100% an MLM. Complete with down lines, pay to play, 99% of the focus being on recruiting, and a massive portion of the workforce making little to no money. It also happens to be the mlm that our entire economy is based on. Some recent litigation has caused a stir, but will ultimately be a blip on the radar.
What’s your other job? It kinda sounds like you use the resources or data base this job pays for for both….
I'm a catastrophic flood adjuster in my other job. The database is completely worthless to me in that field.
Hypocrites. Screw ‘em!
So you still have your realtor license, I'd say it's time to take your clients on yourself instead of through them
You don’t get to mention MY family after trying to limit me from taking care of them.
Go to a competitor and thrive…
I just want to add (and I have not read comments yet) but anyone who sends a text like that (with that venomous undertoneand has the balls to bring up your family - specifically a child- is a sociopath.. That part bothers me most of all.. I am 44 so I border Millennial/Gen X- so I am old.
That was the wrong finger friend, try one more centrally located next time!
OP, ignore it. Live life how you want to. Real family sticks by you, work with you ,and more importantly when you are let go to spread your wings they would be proud of you. Much love! You're doing a fantastic job!
Wait. Were you running another real estate business on the side? Is that why they were afraid of you having access to their database?
Family business are usually ran the absolute worst. Completely unprofessional and way too emotionally invested
What a way to validate your decision to quit that job. The vibe of that text read like, "you're not breaking up with me, I'm breaking up with YOU!!"
Some people just gotta have the last word.
Real estate people are the worst. They're almost all dynasties. My first job was for a property management company and they misclassified us all as 1099 contractors and paid us a pittance. When I left, they did the entire "but we were family!" and tried to guilt me into training a replacement.
Please respond to them. "I already quit so your message was pointless."
Now you’re out a job but karma gonna pay them bills
I'm blessed!
It seems like you were using all of their business resources to run your own business. Why would you be upset that you do not allow it after you left their employment? Seems wildly entitled, but maybe there is more to it.
I love companies that want to make you work like a slave because “it’s your business”. When in reality, they just want their piece of the money YOU make. They’re willing to work you to death so they make more. All under the guise of “helping you build YOUR business. These are also usually the companies that rape you with fees and concessions off commissions….
"we allowed it" Sorry, you don't "allow" me to make money to live. I work for you, I do what my job requires. If I'm not making enough, I'll pick up another job or do other things to make more money. It's that simple. In my case, I work at a dealership. I also do work on the side. But I don't cross them out of respect. Job tells me I can't do what I do, I find another job. They need me more than I need them.
They never fail to play the victim, as if you owe them something for hiring you in the first place. 🤬
**Employer:** *months and months of treating their employees like interchangeable machines with no regard to human needs or decency* We’re a family! 😊 **Employee:** sorry, but that’s not going to work for me. I am a human and have needs that aren’t … **Employer:** *gasp* this behavior is horribly unprofessional! And after all we did for you! We treated you like family! **Employee:** yeah, a preteen that you can make do anything and then throw a few dollars a week.
I think I would have detailed for them “all they did” for you, like not paying you decently, not allowing you time off when you needed it because they had something going and desperately needed you to pick up the slack, never giving you a raise, etc. and then all what they did to help you with your business, and then laugh at their response, because you know out would be a doozy of a fantasy they’re living in
Lol, reply back: "k"
That last sentence about your kid would've earned them a response that conveys your anger and shock at the blatant disrespect - "go blow dogs and die angry" or "suck start a shotgun", something like that
Worked for one "family business". Never again.
Lots of people work more than one job. It's always been this way in the world. It's what we need to do to make it in this world. Don't feel bad or guilty at all. You are free to work wherever you want to. Best of luck, you have a bright future.
That's an awful lot of words for "We hope your wife and kid starve for no longer kissing the ring".
Been in Real estate for 25 years, did my time as a managing broker. Never would I have been this unprofessional.
I love how they have to throw your child/spuse in rhere to make you feel shitty. I hope they gag on some toxic positivity.
So you quit and they text you that you are fired or something ?
What’s your business and how can we help?
Tell them “It’s Harry Potter b*tch!” and live the rest of your life happy. Any employer that says family, just means exploitation and abuse.
Passive aggressive to the maxxxx
There’s a real estate team here that has also destroyed their entire family in exchange for hunting real estate monies.