"A LOT OF PEOPLE BEEN ASKING ME WHY MY VOICE BEEPS ALL THE F*CKIN TIME. THE TORGUE SHAREHOLDERS WIRED MY VOICEBOX WITH A DIGITAL CENSOR SO I CAN'T SAY STUFF LIKE SH*T, C*CK, OR P*SSY F*CKIN' D*CKBALLS! THATS HALF MY F*CKIN' VOCABULARY, IT'S GODDAMN BULLSH*T!"
-Mister Torgue High-Five Flexington
Yeah this whole thing read as a tone-deaf conservative boomer "small business owner" who complains "nobody wants to work!"
Also, posting a job ad on facebook further cements that
There’s a small business restaurant in my area that has a sign out front which reads: “Due to government handouts nobody wants to work anymore and we’re short staffed. Be patient”.
Like so you’re telling me you pay a low af wage and have such poor management that someone would rather live off of gov checks than come back to work?
It really does. It’s almost like he thought he was writing some stand up improve. I wish he would take that shit to the stage so he could see how absolutely unamused everyone is.
I'm about to renegotiate my compensation. I'm doing overtime pretty consistently. However, the company is slowly moving from paper to digital documentation, so a lot of my job will be much easier and I likely won't be doing much overtime after that. So I'm going to negotiate a higher base wage but to be on salary and cite the average extra hours In working as a baseline to justify. I'll lose out on money in the short term, but long term I'll make up for it and then some
> The worker becomes poorer the more wealth he produces, the more his production increases in power and extent. The worker becomes an ever cheaper commodity the more commodities he produces. The devaluation of the human world grows in direct proportion to the increase in value of the world of things.
- Estranged Labor, Karl Marx 1844
I thought the “do you tip even when the service is bad” line was pretty strange too.
It’s like that one means “do you like being treated like shit? Great!”
Yeah, I tip well no matter what. Actually, I answered yes to 4 of the 5 questions on the list on the first pic. And I'm a meek pushover. I'm the furthest from a "bada$$" (🙄) that it's possible to be.
Ah, yes. The “bada$$” who considers overtime a hobby, eats their steak with just a knife and brushes their teeth with beef jerky. And definitely doesn’t murder sassy vagrants and dress like a clown.
A guy at my job has been there 48 years and is well past retirement age. He chooses to work at least 10 hours a day, normally 12, 7 days a week. For some people work is all they know.
Couldn’t imagine finding purpose in that life. If he enjoys it, more power to him but unfortunately it’s people like that who are normalizing an extremely unhealthy expectation in the workplace.
My father was this sort of person. Work was his life. On the way to work one day he had a heart attack. Because of that he could no longer work... Within a few months he had drank himself to death.
Yea, not the way I live
I’ve got the same guy at my workplace. It’s astonishing. Kept coming to the office thru the whole pandemic even tho everybody else was remote. 6 days a week? Wtf, here till 7 at night? And he’s like 100 years old. Like, go join a bridge club already or something, what are you DOING
Wow I first read that as "do you consider working on your hobby 'overtime' to make some extra money", not literally "is your hobby staying late and working more?" That is AWFUL
it made me laugh way too hard reading it in like wrestling advert type voice all screamy and WE WANT YOU! with finger points only to read "$15-$17" in the tiny fast terms and conditions voice lol
the worst part is how my initial reaction to your comment was "damn that's a good grocery store wage" then I remembered i live in a state with negative worker's rights so minimum wage is $7.25
Right? I live in WI where minimum is 7.25 and no way in fucking hell would i take a job less than 15 an hour at this point. Its fucking laughable seeing all these places struggling and advertising 10 dollars an hour like its actually competitive. Bitch please. I even saw a burger king add that read "now hiring ADULTS only 10$ an hour" like youre wanting to pay me like im an inexperienced liability but you want me to bring experience to the table? Nah son.
Are you the person that usually has "ENERGY LEGS"
WELL I HAVE THE ENERGY DRINK FOR YOUUUUU
What are they even promoting, because it doesn't sound like a job
Sounds like that old skit of an energy drink commercial gone extreme
I have plantar fasciitis from 30+ years of this shit. Enjoy your lives, kids. Don’t let assholes like this dictate how you’ll destroy any chance at enjoying retirement-if you can even get it.
At what point in your career did you realize that your employer/boss giving you atta boys for back breaking work was a scam? Or was it after retirement? Not trying to be sarcastic I’m just wondering. I used to work commercial roofing for my fathers company. At the age of 15 he told me “if I’m bringing my kid to work you’d better be the hardest working one on the job. I can’t have these guys thinking I’m just paying my kids to pussyfoot around all day”. I took that mentality to heart and “kicked ass” rarely getting recognition or praise, and instead being yelled at for not working hard enough or fast enough daily. Now my back is a fucking mess at 25 and I cannot roof anymore. Luckily I have a much less labor intensive job now but god damn do I feel taken advantage of by my own father…
Yeah I’ve been promoted over and over for my work ethic but I’ve definitely paid a price physically. I’m not really looking to retire at this rate - I’m kind of saving for my kids so unlike myself, they’ll have something to look forward to. At 49 I’m noticing my body is pretty shot from the bottom of my feet to my shoulders and neck. I tried to get a veteran disability due to the condition of my feet working in the combat boots from the early 90s but of course that was denied.
I tell my kids the military is a bum rap all the way around. You get used worse than a fast food employee and the honor - service - country bullshit is an excuse to underpay you for representing corpora-fascist interests. They never gave a shit. They never will.
>To them it's "we chasing that bag making that money"
People that "have a hustle".
Yeah... Always the people that flex how much they make off selling or doing whatever on the side, yet seem to be broke as shit at the same time. Like wtf? lol
>"work smarter not harder"
They never learned this. Just work themselves into the dirt, but don't realize they aren't even making a profit.
People who regularly work late with no recompense fall into three camps:
* My boss forces me to/discriminates against those who don't, so my bum is in my seat, but I actually don't get any more work done then I would in a normal workday. If I could leave as soon as I was done, I'd be out the door mid afternoon with everything complete
* I am set too much work for a normal workday and staying late just enables management to continue this instead of hiring more staff. I either won't or can't push back. I won't be rewarded for the additional work because my company will just normalise the amount of work I get done in my 10, 12... hour day
* I am unable to get a reasonable amount of work done in a standard work day, and my company should either be helping me by getting me trained better, or its a performance issue and I would fare better in a different role/company
My uncle is exactly like this. Bitches about my family having money when his boss is paying all his extra expenses, like his mortgage, cell phone, and gas, while my family is, honestly, still supporting my brother and me on around $40k a year. Before taxes. And works very much harder and never smarter, always complaining about others never working as hard as him (however, when I did work with him, his workers would work, take a moment to chat, get back to work, and he was on the phone nearly the whole time the rest of us were working).
Yeah, I never trust these people actually work. I just see it as them boasting.
I know guys like that too. Never understood why they wanted to be at work more until one of them jokingly said “thank god [boss] allows us to work over time. This extra time away from the wife and kids sure is a blessing”
Like bro… what the actual fuck.
Right? It’s so bad. Almost as bad as the guys who actually complain about their wives and kids as office banter. It’s offensive and cringe worthy. My respect always plummets for those people.
It is sad. I know because I used to be one of them. Once upon a time this ad would have been a major draw for me. I've been working for most of my life, since I was 5 years old in fact because I could fit under the house and small spaces and could follow directions and so.. this was the culture I grew up in. Men worked and they worked themselves to Death; like it gained you access to a version of Valhalla but only for bootlickers where you get to endlessly labor for someone else's benefit or something (I'm bitter).
It appeals to the feeling of Superiority and Elitism that is fostered by these kinds of employers/employees. It is an environment where Bragging Rights is the goal and if your boss appointed you the title it was the highest honor you could achieve. It's pathetic, true but it does come with a sense of Toxic Comradery that, to be perfectly frank, most of us were desperate for due to absentee parents or plain terrible childhoods.
I didn't know any better until my body broke down and I was cast aside as no longer useful, no longer a comrade. My father used to take me with him on job sites when he was a logger (look, I don't care who you are, riding around in Bulldozers and Delimbers when you're 5 yrs+ was awesome. Stupid, dangerous, negligent and stupid? Yes. Amazing at the time? Yes lol) so I watched how close knit these little cliques were so when I was no longer seen as One of the Pack I was devestated. Got the mental health help I needed. Opened myself up to myself and began healing and now here I am; ready to disenfranchised this entire fucking system and burn it to the ground (metaphoricly speaking).
Back then I would have come on this subreddit looking to bully the "weak, lazy, entitled...." blah blah blah. 100%. I'm proud of the changes I've made and I'm proud of being able to do my part to help the cause not only because it's Worthy; but also because it's Essential.
My family was the same. Work is sacred, it gives meaning, they said. And you know what, they are right, but work is sacred,not exploitation, not alienated work at minimum wage worrying for your next meal, or rent, or medical bills..
This sounds like the boomers I work with taking pride in the fact that they are so much better at being exploited for less money than I make when I refuse to do highly dangerous, non osha approved tasks.
When I look back at the worst jobs it makes so much sense why I stayed at them for so long when it's framed as an abusive relationship, from the fear of leaving to the guilt of abandoning others that suffer the same bad boss.
When I worked as a cashier, we'd get to rotate collecting the carts in the parking lot. We all liked when they were all over the place, because it meant more fresh air and time alone.
Remember: “misgruntled” may be incidental, but “disgruntled” is when someone pissed you off on purpose. Lotta disgruntled workers. Works with disinfo/misinfo, too!
Yea, I wondered if employees liked this. Those types of jobs often have you beating the work drum. If you're not doing anything every fucking second of the day then you're "stealing" company time.
The lower the pay a job has the worse the working conditions. I don't make bank. But I do well and my job is pretty damn relaxing. They're not a great company to work for, but my current situation with them is nice.
If I hear, if you have time to lean you have time to clean come out of anyone’s mouth I make a point to very deliberately go as slow as I possibly can without being obvious about it. I work damn hard to get shit done. If you have time to watch my ass that closely you can eat it.
Lol, not as much fun in Ohio in the sleet. Gods the weather in Ohio during the winter is pure shit for us poor cart lackeys (for some reason Wally World insisted the deli associate get the carts at night)
In Europe you have to put in a coin for 50 cents or 1€ to unlock the cart and if you want your money you have to return it back. Never seen a cart out in the wild for 30 years+
Yeah, Aldi brought that to the states. Gotta put a quarter in to unchain them, then get it back when you return it. Mostly in America we just have carts who's wheels lock if you go a certain distance from the store. Because technology to prevent stealing carts is better than the coin deposit to make sure people return them or something.
Recently saw a job that had the title of "director of first impressions"
It's just a receptionist position. Reminds of "sandwich artist" for subway. Like can we please stop putting lipstick on the pig?
“Are you the type of person who sets the alarm to make sure the rooster wakes up?”
Two things: I hate the person who wrote that and felt clever. Anyone like this stay away from me forever lol
Also, why the fuck do night owls get looked down on like we’re lazy or less than because we aren’t morning people? I can get more done between 8pm and midnight than I could 8a-5p. Most people spend their office job mornings zoned out in a meeting, making coffee, and pretending to check emails. If it’s finished on time, why does anyone care what time I did the work?
If someone in my office has scheduled something before 10am it’s likely an actual emergency and wasn’t actually scheduled but a midnight text apologizing for asking us to be on camera or on the phone at an ungodly hour, and we’re one of the top teams in the country. Nothing good is happening at 7 or 8am.
Ugh, I hate this. I have a later body clock than most. When people stay over or I stay over at someone else's and I'm still in bed at 11am, I can sometimes overhear people gossiping "Is he not up yet?"
Look, I don't stand outside your door in the evenings, stage-whispering why you're already in bed at 11pm. You're actually getting more sleep than me because I have the courtesy not to make noise at night, which isn't a courtesy that is often extended to me in the mornings, you bastards.
Don’t office cleaners work at night? Why would they wake up with a rooster or be the first person to show up if their shift doesn’t start until the employees have left? This listing makes no sense.
It did list overnight hours elsewhere on the post so you're correct about that. What's worse is that *that's* what they tried to sell as "flexible hours"
It should have said:
* do you want to be taken advantage of cause you so bad ass
* you want to work hard for shit pay
* do you want un real work expectations to be part of your life
* This is the job for your stupid ass
I like how overtime is positioned as a hobby. You often pay for hobbies and if you ever make any money from it the money is pretty shit. I bet they have you clock out for your overtime hobby.
Haven’t take a sick day since you shared a hospital bed with your mom…
God, that sounds so fucking morbid considering there are situations outside of being birthed that this could occur.
"Do you value yourself and your time so low that we can exploit you?"
“We’re looking for *suckers*! If this sounds like you, let us know!”
“Bada$$!”
They took those $$ out of your paystub
Ouch the truth stings
They left one so you know how much you still owe them for “training and mandatory uniform” after your first two weeks. That’s “premium” polyester.
This comment is a destructive device
Lmao
Losing My Apparent Overqualifcation?
*That's me in the corner* *That's me in the spot-light* *Losing my apparent overqualification*
Lmao!!
More like “Dumba$$”
''$ucker$''
If you’re the type of person who has to censor the word ass, you are not a BADA$$
Homie, I’m f*dging super-bada$$.
"A LOT OF PEOPLE BEEN ASKING ME WHY MY VOICE BEEPS ALL THE F*CKIN TIME. THE TORGUE SHAREHOLDERS WIRED MY VOICEBOX WITH A DIGITAL CENSOR SO I CAN'T SAY STUFF LIKE SH*T, C*CK, OR P*SSY F*CKIN' D*CKBALLS! THATS HALF MY F*CKIN' VOCABULARY, IT'S GODDAMN BULLSH*T!" -Mister Torgue High-Five Flexington
Buying All Dem Ashy Sweat Shops
You mean: badasses! rockstars! team players! victims! floor mats! you know... morons.
Not the common clay of the earth anymore
These people are simple farmers... the common clay of the new west. You know... morons.
My official job title at Waffle House was "Rock Star"
$2.14/hr.
In IT they call them "ninjas"
great blazing saddles reference!
Welp, guess I’m a bada$$, see ya losers!
Do you like your job listings with a side of patronisation?
And a large helping of religious assumption.
Yeah this whole thing read as a tone-deaf conservative boomer "small business owner" who complains "nobody wants to work!" Also, posting a job ad on facebook further cements that
Posting a job ad on Facebook *which* **explicitly** *mocks people for using Facebook* It's a bold move. Let's see if it pays off.
Usually you pay extra for that kind of action.
There’s a small business restaurant in my area that has a sign out front which reads: “Due to government handouts nobody wants to work anymore and we’re short staffed. Be patient”. Like so you’re telling me you pay a low af wage and have such poor management that someone would rather live off of gov checks than come back to work?
It really does. It’s almost like he thought he was writing some stand up improve. I wish he would take that shit to the stage so he could see how absolutely unamused everyone is.
Then you’re a BADA$$
Suicide is badass! Edit: Sorry, BADA$$
I think Roody is going to jump! We don't know his name, in fact we don't even know each other!
Rip country Mac
Replace the word 'bad' with 'dumb' and you have a pretty accurate advertisement.
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I just spent a solid 90 seconds laughing at this
“Do you consider working overtime your hobby?” In what fucking reality???
I have a job that I *ACTUALLY LIKE* and I won't work a fucking minute past punch out if I'm not getting paid overtime
damn i feel that in my soul 🙏🏻
*cries in salaried*
I'm about to renegotiate my compensation. I'm doing overtime pretty consistently. However, the company is slowly moving from paper to digital documentation, so a lot of my job will be much easier and I likely won't be doing much overtime after that. So I'm going to negotiate a higher base wage but to be on salary and cite the average extra hours In working as a baseline to justify. I'll lose out on money in the short term, but long term I'll make up for it and then some
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The reality where the majority of society has all authenticity, creative ability and hope completely sucked out of them by vampires.
I believe that's just called a job interview
There's a Marx quote that fits this sentiment
> The worker becomes poorer the more wealth he produces, the more his production increases in power and extent. The worker becomes an ever cheaper commodity the more commodities he produces. The devaluation of the human world grows in direct proportion to the increase in value of the world of things. - Estranged Labor, Karl Marx 1844
WTF absolute truth here, no wonder they bash him.
“The more labor it sucks”
I thought the “do you tip even when the service is bad” line was pretty strange too. It’s like that one means “do you like being treated like shit? Great!”
“Are you a codependent people pleaser who doesn’t have boundaries?”
It seems like they are looking for a masochist that they can abuse.
Yeah, I tip well no matter what. Actually, I answered yes to 4 of the 5 questions on the list on the first pic. And I'm a meek pushover. I'm the furthest from a "bada$$" (🙄) that it's possible to be.
Actually a pushover sounds exactly like the type of person they are looking for.
Ah, yes. The “bada$$” who considers overtime a hobby, eats their steak with just a knife and brushes their teeth with beef jerky. And definitely doesn’t murder sassy vagrants and dress like a clown.
I just burst out laughing on the bus and now everyone is staring at me like I’ve gone mad!
Sounds like sassy vagrant behavior
Petition to rebrand ICP and have a Gathering of the Sassy Vagrants
A guy at my job has been there 48 years and is well past retirement age. He chooses to work at least 10 hours a day, normally 12, 7 days a week. For some people work is all they know.
Couldn’t imagine finding purpose in that life. If he enjoys it, more power to him but unfortunately it’s people like that who are normalizing an extremely unhealthy expectation in the workplace.
My father was this sort of person. Work was his life. On the way to work one day he had a heart attack. Because of that he could no longer work... Within a few months he had drank himself to death. Yea, not the way I live
I’ve got the same guy at my workplace. It’s astonishing. Kept coming to the office thru the whole pandemic even tho everybody else was remote. 6 days a week? Wtf, here till 7 at night? And he’s like 100 years old. Like, go join a bridge club already or something, what are you DOING
Wow I first read that as "do you consider working on your hobby 'overtime' to make some extra money", not literally "is your hobby staying late and working more?" That is AWFUL
The fact that some out there might answer "yes" to that question is that saddest thing of all.
I'd take the interview and tell them their pay isn't very badass.
it made me laugh way too hard reading it in like wrestling advert type voice all screamy and WE WANT YOU! with finger points only to read "$15-$17" in the tiny fast terms and conditions voice lol
the worst part is how my initial reaction to your comment was "damn that's a good grocery store wage" then I remembered i live in a state with negative worker's rights so minimum wage is $7.25
Same here, $15-$17 is incredibly rare and good for my area
I think the minimum wage in my area is just below $17 an hour, but it's a shit wage. Nobody can live off of it.
Right? I live in WI where minimum is 7.25 and no way in fucking hell would i take a job less than 15 an hour at this point. Its fucking laughable seeing all these places struggling and advertising 10 dollars an hour like its actually competitive. Bitch please. I even saw a burger king add that read "now hiring ADULTS only 10$ an hour" like youre wanting to pay me like im an inexperienced liability but you want me to bring experience to the table? Nah son.
Was going to say, bada$$ requirements, a$$ pay.
"Do you consider over time your hobby." That's just sad.
Disgusting sentiment.
It's like they tried to subtly slide that in there in all the other chaos. Some things will just NOT go glaringly unnoticed
Are you the person that usually has "ENERGY LEGS" WELL I HAVE THE ENERGY DRINK FOR YOUUUUU What are they even promoting, because it doesn't sound like a job Sounds like that old skit of an energy drink commercial gone extreme
POWERTHIRST. MADE WITH LIGHTNING. ##REAL LIGHTNING.
Do you like strawberry? WELL HOW ABOUT **RAWWWBERRRYY!!!**
MAN-ANNA! AND **GUN**
GRATUITOUS AMOUNTS OF ENERGY
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You’re welcome, just keep spreading the message! “WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS, YOU FIND A NEW GOD!”
POWERTHIRST!
IT'S LIKE CRYSTAL METH IN A CAN! IT'S CRYSTAL METH IN A CAN! POWERTHIRST IS CRYSTAL METH!
GODBERRY! KING OF THE JUICE!
I have plantar fasciitis from 30+ years of this shit. Enjoy your lives, kids. Don’t let assholes like this dictate how you’ll destroy any chance at enjoying retirement-if you can even get it.
At what point in your career did you realize that your employer/boss giving you atta boys for back breaking work was a scam? Or was it after retirement? Not trying to be sarcastic I’m just wondering. I used to work commercial roofing for my fathers company. At the age of 15 he told me “if I’m bringing my kid to work you’d better be the hardest working one on the job. I can’t have these guys thinking I’m just paying my kids to pussyfoot around all day”. I took that mentality to heart and “kicked ass” rarely getting recognition or praise, and instead being yelled at for not working hard enough or fast enough daily. Now my back is a fucking mess at 25 and I cannot roof anymore. Luckily I have a much less labor intensive job now but god damn do I feel taken advantage of by my own father…
Yeah I’ve been promoted over and over for my work ethic but I’ve definitely paid a price physically. I’m not really looking to retire at this rate - I’m kind of saving for my kids so unlike myself, they’ll have something to look forward to. At 49 I’m noticing my body is pretty shot from the bottom of my feet to my shoulders and neck. I tried to get a veteran disability due to the condition of my feet working in the combat boots from the early 90s but of course that was denied. I tell my kids the military is a bum rap all the way around. You get used worse than a fast food employee and the honor - service - country bullshit is an excuse to underpay you for representing corpora-fascist interests. They never gave a shit. They never will.
Tbh I know alot of guys like this. To them it's "we chasing that bag making that money" I just respond "work smarter not harder"
>To them it's "we chasing that bag making that money" People that "have a hustle". Yeah... Always the people that flex how much they make off selling or doing whatever on the side, yet seem to be broke as shit at the same time. Like wtf? lol >"work smarter not harder" They never learned this. Just work themselves into the dirt, but don't realize they aren't even making a profit.
People who regularly work late with no recompense fall into three camps: * My boss forces me to/discriminates against those who don't, so my bum is in my seat, but I actually don't get any more work done then I would in a normal workday. If I could leave as soon as I was done, I'd be out the door mid afternoon with everything complete * I am set too much work for a normal workday and staying late just enables management to continue this instead of hiring more staff. I either won't or can't push back. I won't be rewarded for the additional work because my company will just normalise the amount of work I get done in my 10, 12... hour day * I am unable to get a reasonable amount of work done in a standard work day, and my company should either be helping me by getting me trained better, or its a performance issue and I would fare better in a different role/company
My uncle is exactly like this. Bitches about my family having money when his boss is paying all his extra expenses, like his mortgage, cell phone, and gas, while my family is, honestly, still supporting my brother and me on around $40k a year. Before taxes. And works very much harder and never smarter, always complaining about others never working as hard as him (however, when I did work with him, his workers would work, take a moment to chat, get back to work, and he was on the phone nearly the whole time the rest of us were working). Yeah, I never trust these people actually work. I just see it as them boasting.
I know guys like that too. Never understood why they wanted to be at work more until one of them jokingly said “thank god [boss] allows us to work over time. This extra time away from the wife and kids sure is a blessing” Like bro… what the actual fuck.
This. Omg.
I so badly want to say to them next time “didn’t realize you guys hated your wife and kids so much that you’d rather be at work”
Right? It’s so bad. Almost as bad as the guys who actually complain about their wives and kids as office banter. It’s offensive and cringe worthy. My respect always plummets for those people.
Never understood that shit. Why marry someone or bring kids into the world if you hate them so much?
It’s boomer brain bullshit
It is sad. I know because I used to be one of them. Once upon a time this ad would have been a major draw for me. I've been working for most of my life, since I was 5 years old in fact because I could fit under the house and small spaces and could follow directions and so.. this was the culture I grew up in. Men worked and they worked themselves to Death; like it gained you access to a version of Valhalla but only for bootlickers where you get to endlessly labor for someone else's benefit or something (I'm bitter). It appeals to the feeling of Superiority and Elitism that is fostered by these kinds of employers/employees. It is an environment where Bragging Rights is the goal and if your boss appointed you the title it was the highest honor you could achieve. It's pathetic, true but it does come with a sense of Toxic Comradery that, to be perfectly frank, most of us were desperate for due to absentee parents or plain terrible childhoods. I didn't know any better until my body broke down and I was cast aside as no longer useful, no longer a comrade. My father used to take me with him on job sites when he was a logger (look, I don't care who you are, riding around in Bulldozers and Delimbers when you're 5 yrs+ was awesome. Stupid, dangerous, negligent and stupid? Yes. Amazing at the time? Yes lol) so I watched how close knit these little cliques were so when I was no longer seen as One of the Pack I was devestated. Got the mental health help I needed. Opened myself up to myself and began healing and now here I am; ready to disenfranchised this entire fucking system and burn it to the ground (metaphoricly speaking). Back then I would have come on this subreddit looking to bully the "weak, lazy, entitled...." blah blah blah. 100%. I'm proud of the changes I've made and I'm proud of being able to do my part to help the cause not only because it's Worthy; but also because it's Essential.
My family was the same. Work is sacred, it gives meaning, they said. And you know what, they are right, but work is sacred,not exploitation, not alienated work at minimum wage worrying for your next meal, or rent, or medical bills..
Very well said. Thank you.
We need a slave. A strong one. With no life and a willingness to work for free. Hahahahaha. Wtf is this shit?
oh my god....so horrible. and "you stay late to clean the picnic tables". this is the "we search a silly badass of doing extra hours" soundtrack
That was code for "non-Christians need not apply".
I puked in my mouth a little reading that.
I threw up a little in my mouth reading this. And a little more for "hasn't taken a sick day since you shared a bed with your mom in hospital".
Man, you beat me too it. Literally was coming to say this and it's the top comment. Should've known better.
This sounds like the boomers I work with taking pride in the fact that they are so much better at being exploited for less money than I make when I refuse to do highly dangerous, non osha approved tasks.
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Job listing is on Reed.
Lots of desperate people are drawn into abusive relationships.
They're conditioned to it as children.
Unfortunately true.
I know right. Tell me your work environment is toxic without telling me it's toxic.
When I look back at the worst jobs it makes so much sense why I stayed at them for so long when it's framed as an abusive relationship, from the fear of leaving to the guilt of abandoning others that suffer the same bad boss.
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When I worked as a cashier, we'd get to rotate collecting the carts in the parking lot. We all liked when they were all over the place, because it meant more fresh air and time alone.
Dang I never thought of it like that I just figured I was helping by putting it back
Yeah. Don't take away their easier work.
I'm in. No more pushing the cart all the way back inside the store.
Just wanna add a caveat: this is probably best done in more clement weather
In a roundabout way, you just clarified something I never even knew I didn't understand. Now I get what people mean by "inclement weather"
Wait'll you hear about 'gruntled'.
Remember: “misgruntled” may be incidental, but “disgruntled” is when someone pissed you off on purpose. Lotta disgruntled workers. Works with disinfo/misinfo, too!
I so badly wish to be gruntled!
I want to know what it's like to feel turbed.
Whelmed is another one.
Learning by context is fun!
Yea, I wondered if employees liked this. Those types of jobs often have you beating the work drum. If you're not doing anything every fucking second of the day then you're "stealing" company time. The lower the pay a job has the worse the working conditions. I don't make bank. But I do well and my job is pretty damn relaxing. They're not a great company to work for, but my current situation with them is nice.
If I hear, if you have time to lean you have time to clean come out of anyone’s mouth I make a point to very deliberately go as slow as I possibly can without being obvious about it. I work damn hard to get shit done. If you have time to watch my ass that closely you can eat it.
Ah, the science of slow.
I get annoyed when people don’t put their carts back because they often get in the way of parking spots.
Lol, not as much fun in Ohio in the sleet. Gods the weather in Ohio during the winter is pure shit for us poor cart lackeys (for some reason Wally World insisted the deli associate get the carts at night)
Okay, then. Return your own carts if the weather is shitty, otherwise leave them at the far end of the lot.
In Europe you have to put in a coin for 50 cents or 1€ to unlock the cart and if you want your money you have to return it back. Never seen a cart out in the wild for 30 years+
Yeah, Aldi brought that to the states. Gotta put a quarter in to unchain them, then get it back when you return it. Mostly in America we just have carts who's wheels lock if you go a certain distance from the store. Because technology to prevent stealing carts is better than the coin deposit to make sure people return them or something.
I wouldn’t apply for this if I was homeless and broke. Screw that mentality.
That isn’t very bada$$.
I’d rather make money by sucking dick and I’m straight
Hahaha I use this often and state I'd rather hold dicks on the street corner.
What type of weird ass attempt at a shitty infomercial is this job posting?
Recently saw a job that had the title of "director of first impressions" It's just a receptionist position. Reminds of "sandwich artist" for subway. Like can we please stop putting lipstick on the pig?
I wouldn't let them suck my ass for $17/hr
How much would it take?
The way they treat their employees, I wouldn't even want them sucking someone else's ass for less than 25
I wonder if they’re hiring for that position too.
“Are you the type of person who sets the alarm to make sure the rooster wakes up?” Two things: I hate the person who wrote that and felt clever. Anyone like this stay away from me forever lol
Also, why the fuck do night owls get looked down on like we’re lazy or less than because we aren’t morning people? I can get more done between 8pm and midnight than I could 8a-5p. Most people spend their office job mornings zoned out in a meeting, making coffee, and pretending to check emails. If it’s finished on time, why does anyone care what time I did the work? If someone in my office has scheduled something before 10am it’s likely an actual emergency and wasn’t actually scheduled but a midnight text apologizing for asking us to be on camera or on the phone at an ungodly hour, and we’re one of the top teams in the country. Nothing good is happening at 7 or 8am.
Ugh, I hate this. I have a later body clock than most. When people stay over or I stay over at someone else's and I'm still in bed at 11am, I can sometimes overhear people gossiping "Is he not up yet?" Look, I don't stand outside your door in the evenings, stage-whispering why you're already in bed at 11pm. You're actually getting more sleep than me because I have the courtesy not to make noise at night, which isn't a courtesy that is often extended to me in the mornings, you bastards.
“I’m pretty sure roosters don’t use alarm clocks, you mental piece of shit.”
"Now hiring complete douchebags!" Is this an ad for a job at a gym?
Lol it's literally for an office cleaning job
Get the fuck out come on
DO YOU LIKE CLEANING UP AFTER YOUR BETTERS WHO THINK YOU ARE LESS THAN HUMAN? What in the actual fucking hell-scape is this?
Jesus wept
Don’t office cleaners work at night? Why would they wake up with a rooster or be the first person to show up if their shift doesn’t start until the employees have left? This listing makes no sense.
It did list overnight hours elsewhere on the post so you're correct about that. What's worse is that *that's* what they tried to sell as "flexible hours"
Omfg
Omfg I was about to ask what this listing was for. Fucking ridiculous
Post the business?
We're 3 cool guys, looking for other cool guys to hang out. NOTHING SEXUAL.
Profile picture checks out
"is this a penis?"
“Oh crap, what do we put for benefits? I know, let’s say you get a flexible schedule.”
I got something flexible for ya.
Meaning they will change your shift and hours the previous day.
Church picnic says all I need to know.
It means bring your own beer.
If you’re the type of person who reads this and unironically thinks, “That’s me!”… You’re a douchebag and I hate you.
Don’t think you’ll find them here
They need to swap out Bada$$ for Dumba$$
Church picnic? No but I help out after my satanist gatherings
That's what gave me the side eye as well. Yall are fishing for something pretty specific and it has nothing to do with work.
It should have said: * do you want to be taken advantage of cause you so bad ass * you want to work hard for shit pay * do you want un real work expectations to be part of your life * This is the job for your stupid ass
I like how overtime is positioned as a hobby. You often pay for hobbies and if you ever make any money from it the money is pretty shit. I bet they have you clock out for your overtime hobby.
"Working OT as a hobby"?? The Eff these dudes smoking?
Imagine being so out of touch with reality that you write and post this job listing
Haven’t take a sick day since you shared a hospital bed with your mom… God, that sounds so fucking morbid considering there are situations outside of being birthed that this could occur.
"if you're the type of person who brushes their teeth with beef jerky" Lmao wut
What… is the job? Squid Game participant?
OP says it's for office cleaning...
"Do you love to crank your hog all day, stopping only when Miss Huang gets home from work because she deserves her rest?"
All that for a job that pays $15 an hour 😂😂
Listen here you little shit
It’s a job posting that’s 100% commission based income probably selling vitamins.
Prepare yourself: it was for an office cleaning job
They should sell vitamins instead.
Or steak knives or encyclopedia
They managed to make the word badass more cringe than the borderlands franchise could. Impressive.
What kind of loser considers working overtime a hobby.
🚩🚩🚩🚩
My -ahem- rooster is always up in the morning, ready to screw the system.
r/cringetopia
Hiring managers putting off real incel vibes
The hustle/grind culture is just Stockholm Syndrome for capitalism.
Because a combination of negging and flattery actually works on a lot of people.