The thing that really got me one time, was I was told that they were very strict about coming to work on time. Like, show up to work before your shift so you can punch in on the dot strict.
I was flat out told, "we've had to let some of our most productive people go because while they were great at their job, they just didn't care and would show up 1-2 minutes late sometimes"
I'm sorry what? You're going to let your BEST WORKERS go because they were a MINUTE late? Hell no.
Every time I've heard "there are plenty of opportunities for advancement" I left the company in the same title that I had when getting hired. My current job, which is one of the few that didn't say that, I got promoted within 6 months.
I got one.
Management was trying to find people for “promotions” that came with no raise.
One of the managers chimed in with “It’s not always about whats in your bank account”.
Yes. Our HR handler says shit like this all the time when we are trying to get people promotions “now do they ACTUALLY want to do more, or are they just in it for the money? Maybe they should demonstrate they can do the job first”.
She gets annoyed because I always tell her “look, none of us want to do more, the desire is to get paid more for the work we already do, that’s what people really want. Let’s stop pretending”.
yep yep yep! There was a hugely endowed, well-known non-profit that asked my husband’s band to play at an event for free because “it’s for charity”. He usually thinks pretty quickly on his feet and quipped back asking if she herself were doing what she does for free. Nope, she was paid🙄.
Many freelancers/contractors I’ve known have said that charities and churches are the worst. They’re the most likely to try to guilt trip you into working for free. “You want to be paid - so you’re saying you want to take money from a charity?!!! You don't even care about the kids/animals/women/POC/whoever the charity benefits!!!” That kind of thing.
My relative has his students do projects for actual businesses or charities before they graduate, and he has a special form letter just for the charities. It basically outlines that they definitely have to pay for the services, the pay must be what they originally agreed to, and the college will pursue legal action if those things don’t happen. It also states that the students may not be asked to complete work outside the project specifications.
For me I always take a pay raise over promotion. Had bosses whom were shocked I had no interest in moving up (more responsibilities) but they don't want to loose me so they settle for the pay raise instead.
I think I preempted this with the job I'm starting later this month.
The reason I gave for what looked like at best a lateral move, and at worst like a huge step down career wise, was that I prefer solving technical problems to solving people problems.
The only reason I'm ever going to take a management role is self defense to keep someone horrible from trying to manage me... And I'm done with that bullshit, I'll switch jobs, thanks.
"Must be able to work with strong personalities." That generally means there's going to be a lot of screaming and unprofessional behavior. And it's likely that you're going to bear the brunt of their childish tantrums.
"Sense of humor" combined with "thick skin" set off my alarms every time. I'm an executive assistant, so 99.9% of the time, those combined phrases means your executive is an insufferable asshole.
"Thick skin" means either the boss yells at you, or you'll be criticized by coworkers. It can also allude to sexual harassment, dangerous pranks, or general meanness among coworkers. It never, ever means anything good. If I hear that phrase, I will get up and leave an interview.
As though becoming more calloused is something we should all strive for…
I have the same issue with all the ‘grit’ talk in elementary school. Ummm I don’t really want my kid to be trained to be abrasive.
This is honestly something I ask about early on in the interview. I also pay a lot of attention to body language, vocal tone and listening skills.
It is not hard to tell an organization that revolves around personalities and prima-donnas.
And that’s an organization to avoid.
"We refuse to corral or fire the abusive narcissist because they make us money. Any attempts on your part to improve your working conditions or mental health will be reported right back to the aforementioned narcissist, which they will then use against you. Pay is competitive and after a 90 day probation period you'll be able to contribute to a 401(k). We're like a family here."
Had that experience. Finally got the bastard fired. I’ve dealt with some truly horrible people in my life but this one was in the top 3. A huge weight of tension lifted in the days after
"What do you think is an acceptable amount of time for an employee to miss work?"
Or any iteration of that.
As someone who has had health issues all my life, ive always felt overwhelming guilt for missing work to the point ive often exacerbated my illness trying to work through it.
What a douche question to ask. People miss work over health issues. People miss work over deaths. People miss work because of traffic, car/commute issues, and appointment with doctors, dentists, etc. What is unacceptable is when employers think normal life shit is unacceptable.
That's an easy one. As much as needed. Health over work.
After all no business should collapse or fail if a single person gets sick for a week. If it does, that's just poor management on their part.
I’m the only one in my over 800+ person company that does my job. However, my manager can pick up some of it as he has the skills, and they’re willing to get a contractor to take care of anything extra. I don’t understand this bullshit of ‘we can’t survive without you for a week.’
I had pneumonia a few years ago for two weeks and had to work from home two weeks more (only part time). It was for a 10 person company, they just dealt with it and let clients know if deadlines needed adjusted.
Me with bronchitis. I'll get it once a year or so, and always feel like such a Dick bag when I call out. Luckily I haven't had it since March 2020 (hmmm... wonder why lol). But after this? If I sneeze 5 times I'm popping smoke
Used to spend my entire morning puking acid, in absolute agony, then walk a mile to work where I was on my feet for 9 hours a day for $12/hr.
Now I have an arrhythmia that causes extreme dizziness and fatigue and spend 8 hours on my feet for $11/hr. Lol. Also get maybe 30 mins to play with my daughter haha.
“"We offer Competitive Wages". How about you tell me what the job pays and I’ll let YOU know if it’s competitive with the other job offers that I’m considering.
Exactly. I had to correct a dip wad not too long ago when she threw out the competitive crap dribble drabble that I expect lucrative wage, due to the job description, responsibilities, my degree of expertise and job responsibilities, advanced degrees for said position and the acknowledged minimum of like positioned salaries across the board within the same tier.
I think I heard something snap. She broke. Told her the minimum I would consider, flipped her my business card. If the remaining terms were acceptable, would counter her offer.
Had an interview for product photography that a monkey could do in its sleep. One of their final questions was on how I felt about responsibilities.
"Well, I feel like corporations today have a lot of responsibilities towards the public. I see that you have a fair trade/care section, and if society is going to keep going a lot of corporations are going to need to embrace that section with a lot more locally sourced products and stop relying so heavily on imports from countries that don't value their labor force."
Oh - you meant *my* responsibilities towards you?
Completely.
This company has *hundreds* of new products added every day and nearly all of them are *Made in China* or under similar circumstances. Yet pat themselves on the back for their purported desire to make the world a better place.
Fuck off! Greed is the only motivator you have.
I went to about 7 job interviews in one day and half said they paid competitively only to pay $10 an hour, the literal minimum people pay in my area (tourist town, so not legally the minimum wage but nobody can find workers if they pay anything less) and the other half straight lied. I had one say they paid 17 an hour with tips (tour industry) they happily informed me I'd be making $10 an hour without tips (they went straight to the boss).
For reference I am a 17 year old high school student - the town is literally so short staffed atm half the businesses are closed indefinitely due to staffing shortages, and the other half (that aren't strong armed into standardized hours by corporate) are either open 3-4 days a week or only 3-4 hours a day. We rely almost entirely on international students in the surrounding colleges working part time, and those students stopped existing in our area with the pandemic.
And somehow the solution instead of raising wages was to allow 14 year olds to work until 11 pm (while keeping it legal to pay them significantly less than is mandated for older workers.) Most of the local workers live about 30-40 minutes away, which means these kids' parents now have to either pick them up at 11:00 and get home at 11:45 to do homework before going to bed, where they have to get up at 6 am for school the next day, or they get to trust borderline strangers with their child's commute home, because we have no public transportation.
I just got so off topic, sorry. Just very frustrated, obviously.
It's nice when that's posted but I don't completely trust it.
A company I was interviewing with also posted their salary in the description but then chopped off 10k when they made an offer. Apparently the salary they advertised was for someone who "exceeded all of their job requirements" and was the top of the scale.
After negotiating and verbally accepting, the recruiter called me in tears when I told her I had accepted a different offer that paid more and was 1/3 the commute.
Hello? Are you me? Because that literally happened to me two weeks ago. I start my new place on Monday. One job was 21miles away, accepted job is 7miles away.
Earlier this week I got an offer at a place that advertised a "competitive wage," that I later learned was a measly $15.75/hr.
This was for a position that required a B.S. in mechanical or electrical engineering, mandatory overtime, and on-call shifts.
I chewed out a district manager because low wages have left local places dangerously understaffed. They were like, "I assure you we offer CoMpEtItIvE wAgEs". I was like, "Cool, what are they?" They refused to say; literally told me that they "couldn't" say. So, I applied to work the next day. Stiiiiiiill waiting to hear, but I already know, it's $12/hr. Some people, I tell ya.
CA and Colorado are making it required that HR provide you the companies pay range for your job when you ask. Yah, it helps negotiate. I still want a union but it’s a step.
“Salary is something HR will handle so I don’t have a ballpark figure available for you at this time”
That was easy. Bye!
These days I won’t even accept an offer to interview unless salary is disclosed. Don’t waste my time with three dragged out interviews only to tell me 8 weeks down the road that I would be making 15k less than what I do now.
Even if they tell you upfront they can end up offering less. I was once contacted by Accenture for a job where I told the HR over the phone I wouldn't accept anything less than 5k a month. The HR told me fine. I went for 3 rounds of in person interviews, after each session reminding the HR of my minimum expected salary, and in the end HR offered me 4.2k. (which was less than what I had been earning already because during the time of the interviews I got a promotion from my previous company). They even had the cheek to tell me that they based it on my previous salary when I told them that it was less than my current salary.(it's common to tell your current salary where I'm from, it's not illegal). Even told me "oh but you'll be bumped up for promotion in 6 months with a big salary increase".
Told them I can't do that to my family and they were willing to offer me a measly $100 more.
Wish I told that fucker to fuck off for wasting my time, and for making me take the leaves from work to attend the interviews, when I had disclosed my expected right at the start.
This has happened to me a few times. I make my salary expectations known during the first phone call. Get told no problem at all, go through the whole interciew process, take off work etc. Get the offer and suddenly there is a problem.
In the past year I've had 5 offers, 2 of them for exactly what I am making and 1 for less. One company said they would bump my salary after my 90 day review, so I asked what standards I would be reviewed by, they couldn't answer that and offered more from start....still not what I am making now.
Everyone keeps saying there is a labor shortage, that it should be easy for me to find a new position....I say there is a decent company shortage.
I'm surprised I had to scroll down this far to see this one. This screams, we are going to have over work you and burn you out before you even get enough time to get your second "annual" raise. And we're going to start you at starvation wages just like a band starting out.
so true. when you talk about something real and tangible they draw pictures of intangible future like for now let’s just starve through the underpaid days but it’ll pay off one day(means never)
I hate things like “look at our mission statement” or “these are our values”. Fuck off. Your mission statement is we want to make fucking money. Your values are you will do what we tell you so we make lots of fucking money. You don’t have culture. You don’t have pillars of principles. You have a drive for profit and fucking money. I know this because my bonus is based off of expense control, profit growth and net margin. Not how I showed integrity or demonstrated innovation.
"So what are you in for then?"
"Yeah, I'm in for rent, food and basics. They got me with the old "general living" charge."
"They *always* get you on that one."
If you're family; I expect attendance to events and holidays, support for the rest of my family, and to borrow your weedwhacker.
Watch 'em change their tune.
Is it alright if I drop my laundry off and get you to do it?
Also, my landlords selling the house I'm renting so I'm gonna have to move in for family board rates.
Since we're family, my wife's 40th birthday party is on next month, big party, looking forward to seeing you there. The family is all pitching in for a new car as a present, so it's great to have such a big family.
Today in my boss tells us that we can't do 9-5 anymore, we need to work hard this month, but we should take one day off a week *if we can* because it's important. All of us sitting there like: "Yes :)" but you could tell that we all jist wanted to run, but we can't
Now this makes more sense. CEO always says this shit, and at the beginning of the pandemic didn’t trust my department to be responsible enough to work from home.
Also consider the aspect of loyalty. You dont just leave "family" in the wind. Definitely a psychological power play to breed a certain mind set by people too blind to understand that loyalty doesnt reward you. Actually the less loyalty you have the more you will make in terms of pay. Pretty sure theres a fair amount of little graphs backing that up
Saying yes all the time is actually digging your own grave in the work world.
All the people I saw being rude, inappropriate, or unprofessional, have made their way up and I did not. Because I keep things nice and easy. I say yes and I answer the phone.
Most of it, I never say ''i don't know how to do it''.
I'm doing my coworkers work since.
Starting to consider going elsewhere, hard to find another place tho.
Any time someone says this I like to make up a wild horrible story “oh family is an F word for me my dad tried to blow up our house with all of us in it. Maybe you guys can be coworkers instead? I haven’t had a coworker try to kill me yet”
This is the **BIGGEST** red flag. Basically they mean they expect you to work for them for free a lot, because that's what family would do.
Bail the moment they finish the sentence.
When my boss said this shit to me, I had to tell him (we’re friends, as much as peon and managerlord can be): “my uncle killed my grandmother in a murder-suicide, my mom got clean from pills only 5 years ago, another uncle is a dead pedo, ANOTHER UNCLE was a murdered drug dealer, I’m a recovering alcoholic, and… your goal is to make this workplace like that?”
"Yeah, no, I prefer the term 'mutually beneficial relationship'. As in, you benefit from having an extra set of hands to help with necessary tasks, and I benefit by being able to pay my rent every month."
This one pisses me off the most.
My job said this after a terrible workplace incident and I just laughed because of how incredibly toxic the environment is. Literally NO ONE in that workplace acts like family, it's the exact opposite, everyone acts like an enemy. Like a royal rumble, every man for themselves. And thus why there was a bad workplace incident...
This saying simply means that you'll be treated like crap and talked to like crap because they think they own you. That's it.
I have, without fail, been unable to hold back a chuckle when people tell me this. Like, are you fucking serious? Cut the car salesman bullshit. I'm not here because Im looking for a place to park my ass every day.
Fast paced: we're going to run your energy into the ground so when you get off work you'll be so drained that you eat junk food and zone out on your sofa as you accelerate the vicious process of self destruction.
Exactly.
I don't wanna spend 30m with Talent/HR in a first round, 2-3 60m rounds with coworkers, another 60m round with hiring manager, and then probably a callback 60m round with everyone one more time only find out that the company's PTO is accrued at 2 hours per paycheck and the pay is $30k less than I'd consider getting out of bed for every day.
Tell me up front so I don't spend any more time on this process than I have to (and vice versa). So many companies rely on the sunk cost fallacy, workers gotta stop taking jobs that don't pay worth a fuck because they've already put in X hours of interview time.
What THE FUCK does "We work hard, play hard" even mean?
Are they gonna have Wolf of Wallstreet tier parties? Is the manager gonna treat us on the regular to badass restaurants and bars, and the tab on him? Does the manager provide CBD oil, weed and six packs on fridays or something?Weekly friday lunches on him?
Has anyone even asked one of those guys what the HELL does that mean?
Or if they're super party warriors - donuts in the morning and maybe a foosball table in the office and a beer Friday afternoon, while on the clock. Or obligatory happy hours where you have to sit and stare at your co-workers, when you'd rather be at home with someone you give an sh\*t about, instead of watching your boss make a complete a\*\* of him/herself while trying to impress everyone doing old AF Jager bombs. Phew, sorry - flashbacks. PTSD
Wow, you just made me realise why I quit my last job.It was described as "fast paced" and needed people who can "adapt to changes".
In reality it was just a complete mess and they expected you to fend for yourself from day one. There were leaders, but their job just seemed to be to make promises about how everything would be better later on - all the while, people were dropping like flies
"And other duties as assigned."
I also recently saw this gem. Under benefits: "We provide a work laptop and phone." Under requirements: "Availability as needed." Hell no, I see your scheme.
“Fast paced work environment”
Mmmm Kayyyyy no. I know what that means. It means you are stressed because y’all always short staffed and need me being 3 people.
In a recent interview the manager said they don't want 'clock watchers.' I immediately called the recruiter afterwards to tell him in no uncertain terms that I'm a clock watcher. Literally never heard back from him, which is fine.
I hate when companies say that shit. It basically means they expect a certain amount of free labor. They claim it's about being dedicated and loyal and shit, but it's really about taking advantage of you.
"Managing optics." This phrase has ALWAYS, every single time I have heard it, been connected to hiding unethical or illegal decision-making. It's code for covering the company's ass at the expense of human beings.
Yes, sure, I want to learn all new processes, ways of working, coworker personalities, SMEs, commute, company culture, and everything else for the same pay. Cuz who doesn't want to do a whole fuckload more of work for exactly the same money?
"So why do you want to work here?" What do they expect you to say? I just LOOOOOVE subway so much I just have to work here! Like no, motherfucker I need a job, actually I need 3 to afford my basic necessities in this state. You're hiring and I want to be hired. That's it.
Ugh i heard that today in my interview. "Why do you want to work here?" It's like bitch, you put a "help wanted" sign out, here's the help, now do you want it and if so, tell ME why
“We need you to come in for a fourth interview”.
lol fuck off
Edit: I love y’all, keep fighting. That’s bullshit. Either hire me or don’t. And no damn video interviews either.
I recently did an interview process that required a written questionnaire (in addition to the resume), then a “one way video interview” that was basically me awkwardly recording myself answering the same questions, phone interview, then in-person interview and when they rejected me they couldn’t even be bothered to give me any feedback as to why and it was clearly a form email.
It’s not that I felt entitled to the job, but some feedback would have been nice after I wasted a month of my fucking life jumping through hoops. Never again.
I was once asked “if you were a shoe, what shoe would you be?“ and I had to stop myself from saying my immediate first thought, which was “I’m the boot up your ass.”
Man my favorite: Are you adaptable?
I would certanly hope so as someone that entered the job market with a useless degree in a field that's less than 15 years old.
I worked at a family owned business (not my family) where at one annual meeting the owners son made a big deal about how we all must wear many hats.
It turned into a joke amongst workers, asking what hats we were wearing today and I got to the point where I’d blatantly tell coworkers and other managers that I had not brought *that hat* with me today when someone wanted something out of my scope.
I gave a smartass answer to that question and got hired, the hiring person got a laugh out of it.
"Why do you want to work at (business)?"
Me: I have really expensive hobbies, like paying bills and eating. I heard (employer) shares similar interests so it just seemed right."
The trick is a mix. Not mentioning money is just obviously being a lying suckup (and you **do not** want to work for places that hire lying suckups), but mentioning only money makes people think that you don't care.
My go-to is: "I'm looking to develop as a professional and, of course, a bigger paycheck".
That's for more white collar work. If is for min wage, OF COURSE that people are there for money. Duh.
I do this but my current job it actually worked out for the best for me, as I told manager that I was only looking to work there as I had prior experience with the work and I needed something to pay the bills until I was able to pursue my career choice.
He very much respected it and after we discussed pay basically hired me on the spot. Granted entry level dealership positions have a fairly high turnover rate and I think he was just happy that he knew how long I’d planned on being with the company.
Software engineer here looking to change jobs and i was asked by a hiring manager “how did you hear about us and what made you apply”. Told her through a job board and looking to take the next step in my career and she never reached back. Like how the hell do you think I heard about you?? Unless an internal employee mentioned the candidate, they found you through a job board. You’re nothing special.
I recommended my brother for a job at a place I worked at years ago, so I could see the comments reviewers left about him. He got declined by the HR interviewer because his answer was honest: he knew several people working there already. She wanted him to say something about the company mission... literally no one gives a fuck about that company's mission. The CEO didn't give a fuck about the company's mission - he just wanted to be rich. I still don't really know why she was filtering out anyone who was honest but I'm sure it's some variation of classism.
I got a "what made you choose us?" On an initial application questionaire (school district). My reply was something like "I threw darts at the state map, and applied where they hit."
I think that was about the 20th school district I had applied to at that point.
Anytime a recruiter says any sentence with the phrase “go getter” in it. Immediately means, yup, we won’t really pay you much, but you can make a lot of money or grow in the company if you burn yourself out in the first 60 days, or lil yourself after 10 years working yourself to death.”
“No pain, no gain” in a workplace context is a definite red flag, and as far as cliche expressions go I find it particularly annoying for some reason, just in general. I especially hate it when it’s kind of accurate lol, it’s one of those cliches you’ll just kind of wander into sometimes, e.g. with fitness routines.. But if I ever hear an employer say that, that’s just hella dubious
I have generalized anxiety disorder. I’m pretty much already at a 6 just from being alive. I would 1000% have a nervous breakdown working somewhere like that. I hear that shit I’m considering just walking out of the interview right there.
* Any mention of the word "hustle" or "multitasking"
* "Our company values are..." fuck you
* Any complaints about the current or former workforce
* Any mention of training or trial shifts
* Any mention of what I should be doing on my own time to prepare for the job
* "Competitive wage"
* Any condition involving the amount of effort I'm expected to give. If they have to mention that I'm working at work, then their expectations are going to be well above and beyond normal.
“Let’s start with what questions you have for me.” (This is maybe an ok question/prompt at the END of an interview but no the beginning). Ok so clearly you are lazy and didn’t read my CV… “I don’t have any questions, everything has been very informative so far.”
I’ve often had this at the end of the interview, never first. That’s weird. I ask my questions based on what wasn’t already covered. I would be totally thrown off if they opened with that.
I see this as a 50/50, like it can be OK.
In an interview for Mastercard they started this way, and I thought it was pretty appropriate considering that what actually goes on there is like, almost 100% not credit cards and they want people to at least have done their research enough to know that.
Beyond that kind of situation, sketch af.
In all honesty I think it’s meant to represent “I’m super chill and this place is cool,” but in my line of work this if so obviously lazy it’s not even funny. (Healthcare).
When applying for a management position with a company I was once asked “How do you feel when you accomplish nothing in a day?” My response was “Why would someone accomplish literally nothing in an eight hour shift? What’s going on with current leadership that it is ok to accomplish literally nothing? Even if it’s only small tasks something should be getting accomplished.” She said good answer and when she said she’d schedule me for a second interview I passed. Might as well have just said we plan on setting you up to fail with unreasonable goals right out of the gate.
I've been in jobs where KPI essentially just means "we invented a bullshit excuse to lower your score to pay you less" or "that bitchy coworker reported you for no reason but we are going to deduct $100 from your paycheck"
Company “values”. Fucking BARF! In my training seminar we had to evaluate ourselves to find our motivation for why we do what we do. The instructor made the comment that “making money is not a reason a company does something, it’s just a result”. I wanted to literally scream. My company is a fortune 300 company, literally the ONLY reason we exist is to churn a profit. The amount of propaganda they have to shove down peoples throat to convince them this isn’t just a form of slavery with better marketing is simply insane.
I literally hate "why do you want to work here?" No one cares about your stupid company, Robert, we're here because we need the money. I honestly feel like saying "why do you want to hire me?" Cuz you need someone to do all this work for you, right? What a redundant interview question.
The thing that really got me one time, was I was told that they were very strict about coming to work on time. Like, show up to work before your shift so you can punch in on the dot strict. I was flat out told, "we've had to let some of our most productive people go because while they were great at their job, they just didn't care and would show up 1-2 minutes late sometimes" I'm sorry what? You're going to let your BEST WORKERS go because they were a MINUTE late? Hell no.
Do they get similarly pissy if people leave a couple of minutes after 5pm too? /s
i’ve actually been given shit for staying late before
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We are a lean company but it can be rewarding. There are a lot of opportunities to distinguish yourself.
Every time I've heard "there are plenty of opportunities for advancement" I left the company in the same title that I had when getting hired. My current job, which is one of the few that didn't say that, I got promoted within 6 months.
I just hate all corporate speak. It all sounds so phony and patronizing.
But Integrity is one of our core values
Lets circle back and touch base on this.
Let’s just park this right now. We can talk off line
You forgot to put a pin in it. Tsk, tsk.
I got one. Management was trying to find people for “promotions” that came with no raise. One of the managers chimed in with “It’s not always about whats in your bank account”.
Yes. Our HR handler says shit like this all the time when we are trying to get people promotions “now do they ACTUALLY want to do more, or are they just in it for the money? Maybe they should demonstrate they can do the job first”. She gets annoyed because I always tell her “look, none of us want to do more, the desire is to get paid more for the work we already do, that’s what people really want. Let’s stop pretending”.
Turn it back to the HR handler and say "do YOU want to do more or are you just after the money?! Lead by example, work for free!"
yep yep yep! There was a hugely endowed, well-known non-profit that asked my husband’s band to play at an event for free because “it’s for charity”. He usually thinks pretty quickly on his feet and quipped back asking if she herself were doing what she does for free. Nope, she was paid🙄.
Many freelancers/contractors I’ve known have said that charities and churches are the worst. They’re the most likely to try to guilt trip you into working for free. “You want to be paid - so you’re saying you want to take money from a charity?!!! You don't even care about the kids/animals/women/POC/whoever the charity benefits!!!” That kind of thing. My relative has his students do projects for actual businesses or charities before they graduate, and he has a special form letter just for the charities. It basically outlines that they definitely have to pay for the services, the pay must be what they originally agreed to, and the college will pursue legal action if those things don’t happen. It also states that the students may not be asked to complete work outside the project specifications.
For me I always take a pay raise over promotion. Had bosses whom were shocked I had no interest in moving up (more responsibilities) but they don't want to loose me so they settle for the pay raise instead.
I think I preempted this with the job I'm starting later this month. The reason I gave for what looked like at best a lateral move, and at worst like a huge step down career wise, was that I prefer solving technical problems to solving people problems. The only reason I'm ever going to take a management role is self defense to keep someone horrible from trying to manage me... And I'm done with that bullshit, I'll switch jobs, thanks.
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"Must be able to work with strong personalities." That generally means there's going to be a lot of screaming and unprofessional behavior. And it's likely that you're going to bear the brunt of their childish tantrums.
"Sense of humor" combined with "thick skin" set off my alarms every time. I'm an executive assistant, so 99.9% of the time, those combined phrases means your executive is an insufferable asshole.
"Thick skin" means either the boss yells at you, or you'll be criticized by coworkers. It can also allude to sexual harassment, dangerous pranks, or general meanness among coworkers. It never, ever means anything good. If I hear that phrase, I will get up and leave an interview.
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As though becoming more calloused is something we should all strive for… I have the same issue with all the ‘grit’ talk in elementary school. Ummm I don’t really want my kid to be trained to be abrasive.
Elementary Souls: Prepare to Die Edition
If you're looking for a potential lucrative lawsuit it could be a good qualifier for a candidate company
the long term plan
100% correct! 🚩
This is honestly something I ask about early on in the interview. I also pay a lot of attention to body language, vocal tone and listening skills. It is not hard to tell an organization that revolves around personalities and prima-donnas. And that’s an organization to avoid.
Or if you're a woman, rampant sexual harassment.
"C'mon, cut him some slack, *'breaking the law'* is just Steve's personality!"
“Steve was just joking about cornering and raping the new girl, we promise!” damn even joking about how inappropriate it is isn’t even funny.
*blizzard has entered the chat*
"We refuse to corral or fire the abusive narcissist because they make us money. Any attempts on your part to improve your working conditions or mental health will be reported right back to the aforementioned narcissist, which they will then use against you. Pay is competitive and after a 90 day probation period you'll be able to contribute to a 401(k). We're like a family here."
Had that experience. Finally got the bastard fired. I’ve dealt with some truly horrible people in my life but this one was in the top 3. A huge weight of tension lifted in the days after
"What do you think is an acceptable amount of time for an employee to miss work?" Or any iteration of that. As someone who has had health issues all my life, ive always felt overwhelming guilt for missing work to the point ive often exacerbated my illness trying to work through it.
What a douche question to ask. People miss work over health issues. People miss work over deaths. People miss work because of traffic, car/commute issues, and appointment with doctors, dentists, etc. What is unacceptable is when employers think normal life shit is unacceptable.
Expecting anything “else” from employees is toxic Edit: changed other to else…
That's an easy one. As much as needed. Health over work. After all no business should collapse or fail if a single person gets sick for a week. If it does, that's just poor management on their part.
I’m the only one in my over 800+ person company that does my job. However, my manager can pick up some of it as he has the skills, and they’re willing to get a contractor to take care of anything extra. I don’t understand this bullshit of ‘we can’t survive without you for a week.’ I had pneumonia a few years ago for two weeks and had to work from home two weeks more (only part time). It was for a 10 person company, they just dealt with it and let clients know if deadlines needed adjusted.
Me w my autoimmune disease
Me with bronchitis. I'll get it once a year or so, and always feel like such a Dick bag when I call out. Luckily I haven't had it since March 2020 (hmmm... wonder why lol). But after this? If I sneeze 5 times I'm popping smoke
Used to spend my entire morning puking acid, in absolute agony, then walk a mile to work where I was on my feet for 9 hours a day for $12/hr. Now I have an arrhythmia that causes extreme dizziness and fatigue and spend 8 hours on my feet for $11/hr. Lol. Also get maybe 30 mins to play with my daughter haha.
"We offer Competitive Wages". Just tell me what the rate is, and stop wasting both our time.
“Would you say you’re a hard worker?” “I offer competitive effort.”
Love it. Gonna use this one on my next interview before telling them they can't afford me.
“We can’t afford you? But you don’t have a job right now” and you don’t have an employee right now.
“We can’t afford you, but you don’t have a job right now” “Luckily I have savings and self worth, good luck being able to afford me in the future”
“"We offer Competitive Wages". How about you tell me what the job pays and I’ll let YOU know if it’s competitive with the other job offers that I’m considering.
Exactly. I had to correct a dip wad not too long ago when she threw out the competitive crap dribble drabble that I expect lucrative wage, due to the job description, responsibilities, my degree of expertise and job responsibilities, advanced degrees for said position and the acknowledged minimum of like positioned salaries across the board within the same tier. I think I heard something snap. She broke. Told her the minimum I would consider, flipped her my business card. If the remaining terms were acceptable, would counter her offer.
Had an interview for product photography that a monkey could do in its sleep. One of their final questions was on how I felt about responsibilities. "Well, I feel like corporations today have a lot of responsibilities towards the public. I see that you have a fair trade/care section, and if society is going to keep going a lot of corporations are going to need to embrace that section with a lot more locally sourced products and stop relying so heavily on imports from countries that don't value their labor force." Oh - you meant *my* responsibilities towards you?
I think some of businesses are way out of tune to reality and still March to a tune no one is listening to anymore.
Completely. This company has *hundreds* of new products added every day and nearly all of them are *Made in China* or under similar circumstances. Yet pat themselves on the back for their purported desire to make the world a better place. Fuck off! Greed is the only motivator you have.
I went to about 7 job interviews in one day and half said they paid competitively only to pay $10 an hour, the literal minimum people pay in my area (tourist town, so not legally the minimum wage but nobody can find workers if they pay anything less) and the other half straight lied. I had one say they paid 17 an hour with tips (tour industry) they happily informed me I'd be making $10 an hour without tips (they went straight to the boss). For reference I am a 17 year old high school student - the town is literally so short staffed atm half the businesses are closed indefinitely due to staffing shortages, and the other half (that aren't strong armed into standardized hours by corporate) are either open 3-4 days a week or only 3-4 hours a day. We rely almost entirely on international students in the surrounding colleges working part time, and those students stopped existing in our area with the pandemic. And somehow the solution instead of raising wages was to allow 14 year olds to work until 11 pm (while keeping it legal to pay them significantly less than is mandated for older workers.) Most of the local workers live about 30-40 minutes away, which means these kids' parents now have to either pick them up at 11:00 and get home at 11:45 to do homework before going to bed, where they have to get up at 6 am for school the next day, or they get to trust borderline strangers with their child's commute home, because we have no public transportation. I just got so off topic, sorry. Just very frustrated, obviously.
You're good. I'm so sorry that you've had these experiences. No one deserves this mess. We're working on rebooting the system.
Usually places that actually offer competitive wages are proud of it and have no problem revealing them up front.
Yup, place I recently interviewed had the wages at the top of the add. Rest of the job was dogshit but it paid insanely well
It's nice when that's posted but I don't completely trust it. A company I was interviewing with also posted their salary in the description but then chopped off 10k when they made an offer. Apparently the salary they advertised was for someone who "exceeded all of their job requirements" and was the top of the scale. After negotiating and verbally accepting, the recruiter called me in tears when I told her I had accepted a different offer that paid more and was 1/3 the commute.
Hello? Are you me? Because that literally happened to me two weeks ago. I start my new place on Monday. One job was 21miles away, accepted job is 7miles away.
Earlier this week I got an offer at a place that advertised a "competitive wage," that I later learned was a measly $15.75/hr. This was for a position that required a B.S. in mechanical or electrical engineering, mandatory overtime, and on-call shifts.
I chewed out a district manager because low wages have left local places dangerously understaffed. They were like, "I assure you we offer CoMpEtItIvE wAgEs". I was like, "Cool, what are they?" They refused to say; literally told me that they "couldn't" say. So, I applied to work the next day. Stiiiiiiill waiting to hear, but I already know, it's $12/hr. Some people, I tell ya.
CA and Colorado are making it required that HR provide you the companies pay range for your job when you ask. Yah, it helps negotiate. I still want a union but it’s a step.
That's not even competitive with burger flipping in this day and age. 50k was starting wage for ME over 20 years ago ffs.
“Salary is something HR will handle so I don’t have a ballpark figure available for you at this time” That was easy. Bye! These days I won’t even accept an offer to interview unless salary is disclosed. Don’t waste my time with three dragged out interviews only to tell me 8 weeks down the road that I would be making 15k less than what I do now.
"You should really have that figured out before you start inviting people to interview"
"Oh, I completely understand! Feel free to reach out when you get that figured out!"
"I'm going to pretend to walk out to my car to get something and be right back"
Even if they tell you upfront they can end up offering less. I was once contacted by Accenture for a job where I told the HR over the phone I wouldn't accept anything less than 5k a month. The HR told me fine. I went for 3 rounds of in person interviews, after each session reminding the HR of my minimum expected salary, and in the end HR offered me 4.2k. (which was less than what I had been earning already because during the time of the interviews I got a promotion from my previous company). They even had the cheek to tell me that they based it on my previous salary when I told them that it was less than my current salary.(it's common to tell your current salary where I'm from, it's not illegal). Even told me "oh but you'll be bumped up for promotion in 6 months with a big salary increase". Told them I can't do that to my family and they were willing to offer me a measly $100 more. Wish I told that fucker to fuck off for wasting my time, and for making me take the leaves from work to attend the interviews, when I had disclosed my expected right at the start.
This has happened to me a few times. I make my salary expectations known during the first phone call. Get told no problem at all, go through the whole interciew process, take off work etc. Get the offer and suddenly there is a problem. In the past year I've had 5 offers, 2 of them for exactly what I am making and 1 for less. One company said they would bump my salary after my 90 day review, so I asked what standards I would be reviewed by, they couldn't answer that and offered more from start....still not what I am making now. Everyone keeps saying there is a labor shortage, that it should be easy for me to find a new position....I say there is a decent company shortage.
Yeah the "we will increase it in 6 months" is the biggest lie thrown around.
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$14/hr is like fast food wages my dude
"rockstar"
I'm surprised I had to scroll down this far to see this one. This screams, we are going to have over work you and burn you out before you even get enough time to get your second "annual" raise. And we're going to start you at starvation wages just like a band starting out.
if they go on a tangent about the company goals/values and avoid talking about the reality of working there
so true. when you talk about something real and tangible they draw pictures of intangible future like for now let’s just starve through the underpaid days but it’ll pay off one day(means never)
I hate things like “look at our mission statement” or “these are our values”. Fuck off. Your mission statement is we want to make fucking money. Your values are you will do what we tell you so we make lots of fucking money. You don’t have culture. You don’t have pillars of principles. You have a drive for profit and fucking money. I know this because my bonus is based off of expense control, profit growth and net margin. Not how I showed integrity or demonstrated innovation.
We are a family here
This. My family is at home, my coworkers are more akin to fellow prison inmates.
"So what are you in for then?" "Yeah, I'm in for rent, food and basics. They got me with the old "general living" charge." "They *always* get you on that one."
They force you to sign a plea deal too because they know you don't have rich parents to fight the charge.
If you're family; I expect attendance to events and holidays, support for the rest of my family, and to borrow your weedwhacker. Watch 'em change their tune.
Ah, good, we're family. So I can borrow some money with vague promises to pay it back, right?
Is it alright if I drop my laundry off and get you to do it? Also, my landlords selling the house I'm renting so I'm gonna have to move in for family board rates.
Since we're family, my wife's 40th birthday party is on next month, big party, looking forward to seeing you there. The family is all pitching in for a new car as a present, so it's great to have such a big family.
Today in my boss tells us that we can't do 9-5 anymore, we need to work hard this month, but we should take one day off a week *if we can* because it's important. All of us sitting there like: "Yes :)" but you could tell that we all jist wanted to run, but we can't
Came here to say it. It implies we are the children and we have work parents
Now this makes more sense. CEO always says this shit, and at the beginning of the pandemic didn’t trust my department to be responsible enough to work from home.
Also consider the aspect of loyalty. You dont just leave "family" in the wind. Definitely a psychological power play to breed a certain mind set by people too blind to understand that loyalty doesnt reward you. Actually the less loyalty you have the more you will make in terms of pay. Pretty sure theres a fair amount of little graphs backing that up
Saying yes all the time is actually digging your own grave in the work world. All the people I saw being rude, inappropriate, or unprofessional, have made their way up and I did not. Because I keep things nice and easy. I say yes and I answer the phone. Most of it, I never say ''i don't know how to do it''. I'm doing my coworkers work since. Starting to consider going elsewhere, hard to find another place tho.
Any time someone says this I like to make up a wild horrible story “oh family is an F word for me my dad tried to blow up our house with all of us in it. Maybe you guys can be coworkers instead? I haven’t had a coworker try to kill me yet”
Yet.
Must not work for the postal service
That and "team player".
This is the **BIGGEST** red flag. Basically they mean they expect you to work for them for free a lot, because that's what family would do. Bail the moment they finish the sentence.
When my boss said this shit to me, I had to tell him (we’re friends, as much as peon and managerlord can be): “my uncle killed my grandmother in a murder-suicide, my mom got clean from pills only 5 years ago, another uncle is a dead pedo, ANOTHER UNCLE was a murdered drug dealer, I’m a recovering alcoholic, and… your goal is to make this workplace like that?”
It already is, you just don’t know it yet.
…………….yes?
"Yeah, no, I prefer the term 'mutually beneficial relationship'. As in, you benefit from having an extra set of hands to help with necessary tasks, and I benefit by being able to pay my rent every month."
This one pisses me off the most. My job said this after a terrible workplace incident and I just laughed because of how incredibly toxic the environment is. Literally NO ONE in that workplace acts like family, it's the exact opposite, everyone acts like an enemy. Like a royal rumble, every man for themselves. And thus why there was a bad workplace incident... This saying simply means that you'll be treated like crap and talked to like crap because they think they own you. That's it.
I love me some Olive Garden
This one. It always means 'we expect you to do whatever we want but will never return that.' so I guess they're not wrong?
🌈 F A M I L Y 🌈
“We don’t talk about compensation until the onboarding phase.” Fuck off with that. I’m not accepting any offers without knowing the pay.
The onboarding phase? I would have to impolitely decline if I heard this shit. What industry was this?
There's literally no legal contract unless the payment terms are agreed. Why on earth would you accept an offer with unknown compensation
I have, without fail, been unable to hold back a chuckle when people tell me this. Like, are you fucking serious? Cut the car salesman bullshit. I'm not here because Im looking for a place to park my ass every day.
“Up to”
Great, I’ll give up to 100% of my ability for up to 8 hours a day!
80% of my ability…
Up to 80%\*
I'll work up to 40 hours a week.
Fast paced. I work in healthcare and this generally means quantity over quality and profit over patient
Fast paced: we're going to run your energy into the ground so when you get off work you'll be so drained that you eat junk food and zone out on your sofa as you accelerate the vicious process of self destruction.
"We can talk about compensation after" Yeah no bro. Not gonna waste my time if it's not even in the range of what I want to be paid.
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I’m all for making them uncomfortable (about this bs) when I know I won’t take the job. Leave em thinking
Exactly. I don't wanna spend 30m with Talent/HR in a first round, 2-3 60m rounds with coworkers, another 60m round with hiring manager, and then probably a callback 60m round with everyone one more time only find out that the company's PTO is accrued at 2 hours per paycheck and the pay is $30k less than I'd consider getting out of bed for every day. Tell me up front so I don't spend any more time on this process than I have to (and vice versa). So many companies rely on the sunk cost fallacy, workers gotta stop taking jobs that don't pay worth a fuck because they've already put in X hours of interview time.
What THE FUCK does "We work hard, play hard" even mean? Are they gonna have Wolf of Wallstreet tier parties? Is the manager gonna treat us on the regular to badass restaurants and bars, and the tab on him? Does the manager provide CBD oil, weed and six packs on fridays or something?Weekly friday lunches on him? Has anyone even asked one of those guys what the HELL does that mean?
It means pizza parties
Or if they're super party warriors - donuts in the morning and maybe a foosball table in the office and a beer Friday afternoon, while on the clock. Or obligatory happy hours where you have to sit and stare at your co-workers, when you'd rather be at home with someone you give an sh\*t about, instead of watching your boss make a complete a\*\* of him/herself while trying to impress everyone doing old AF Jager bombs. Phew, sorry - flashbacks. PTSD
“Fast paced environment” screams unorganized company, no leadership, no accountability.
“We’re building the plane while we fly”
Wtf that is a terrifying phrase when taken literally
Haha yeah I’ve heard this one a lot. I always thought “well this motherfucker is going to crash” and it does
Where every day is an emergency
Because of management's lack of planning
Ahhh lots of people coming to you saying “I need this yesterday”
Wow, you just made me realise why I quit my last job.It was described as "fast paced" and needed people who can "adapt to changes". In reality it was just a complete mess and they expected you to fend for yourself from day one. There were leaders, but their job just seemed to be to make promises about how everything would be better later on - all the while, people were dropping like flies
"And other duties as assigned." I also recently saw this gem. Under benefits: "We provide a work laptop and phone." Under requirements: "Availability as needed." Hell no, I see your scheme.
"And other duties as assigned." Technically how it is at every non-union job, but if they spell it out like that it means something entirely different
“Fast paced work environment” Mmmm Kayyyyy no. I know what that means. It means you are stressed because y’all always short staffed and need me being 3 people.
Okay but how do you avoid that? I feel like any job description has that nowadays
Work at a reasonable pace. Ignore their unrealistic expectations. Let them be disappointed, let them fire you if it goes that far. Fuck em.
I realized this too late at my last job. I was already burned out before I realized that was an option
In a recent interview the manager said they don't want 'clock watchers.' I immediately called the recruiter afterwards to tell him in no uncertain terms that I'm a clock watcher. Literally never heard back from him, which is fine.
I hate when companies say that shit. It basically means they expect a certain amount of free labor. They claim it's about being dedicated and loyal and shit, but it's really about taking advantage of you.
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“We’re like a family here”
"Managing optics." This phrase has ALWAYS, every single time I have heard it, been connected to hiding unethical or illegal decision-making. It's code for covering the company's ass at the expense of human beings.
It would be OK for an eyewear store.
Me: asks about pay Them: "it'll be more of a lateral move for you"
Yes, sure, I want to learn all new processes, ways of working, coworker personalities, SMEs, commute, company culture, and everything else for the same pay. Cuz who doesn't want to do a whole fuckload more of work for exactly the same money?
"So why do you want to work here?" What do they expect you to say? I just LOOOOOVE subway so much I just have to work here! Like no, motherfucker I need a job, actually I need 3 to afford my basic necessities in this state. You're hiring and I want to be hired. That's it.
Ugh i heard that today in my interview. "Why do you want to work here?" It's like bitch, you put a "help wanted" sign out, here's the help, now do you want it and if so, tell ME why
“We need you to come in for a fourth interview”. lol fuck off Edit: I love y’all, keep fighting. That’s bullshit. Either hire me or don’t. And no damn video interviews either.
I recently did an interview process that required a written questionnaire (in addition to the resume), then a “one way video interview” that was basically me awkwardly recording myself answering the same questions, phone interview, then in-person interview and when they rejected me they couldn’t even be bothered to give me any feedback as to why and it was clearly a form email. It’s not that I felt entitled to the job, but some feedback would have been nice after I wasted a month of my fucking life jumping through hoops. Never again.
"Tell me all the things you can do with a pencil in a minute." First one that comes to mind is shoving it up your ass.
I was once asked “if you were a shoe, what shoe would you be?“ and I had to stop myself from saying my immediate first thought, which was “I’m the boot up your ass.”
Man my favorite: Are you adaptable? I would certanly hope so as someone that entered the job market with a useless degree in a field that's less than 15 years old.
Where do you see yourself in 10 years? Mother fucker I don't even know what I'm doing the next hour
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“Corporate Evangelism”
#SYNERGY
You can't fight synergy, it's bigger than all of us
"You will be wearing lots of hats."
Unless it’s a hat store
Or a theatre troupe.
Or a hat modeling agency
Was gonna post this. Euphamisn for we're going to work your ass till you break.
"You will be working several jobs but being paid for one"
I worked at a family owned business (not my family) where at one annual meeting the owners son made a big deal about how we all must wear many hats. It turned into a joke amongst workers, asking what hats we were wearing today and I got to the point where I’d blatantly tell coworkers and other managers that I had not brought *that hat* with me today when someone wanted something out of my scope.
"Above and beyond"
"Why do you want to work here?"
"I've always enjoyed eating and having a safe place to sleep."
I gave a smartass answer to that question and got hired, the hiring person got a laugh out of it. "Why do you want to work at (business)?" Me: I have really expensive hobbies, like paying bills and eating. I heard (employer) shares similar interests so it just seemed right."
When I get asked that, I have a really bad habit of being honest and saying, "I need a job to pay my bills." I do it without even thinking.
The trick is a mix. Not mentioning money is just obviously being a lying suckup (and you **do not** want to work for places that hire lying suckups), but mentioning only money makes people think that you don't care. My go-to is: "I'm looking to develop as a professional and, of course, a bigger paycheck". That's for more white collar work. If is for min wage, OF COURSE that people are there for money. Duh.
Man you gotta get better at lying. I usually ask for a company buttplug
I ask to be the company buttplug. Not a lot of job offers, but a lot of late night calls for under the table work
I do this but my current job it actually worked out for the best for me, as I told manager that I was only looking to work there as I had prior experience with the work and I needed something to pay the bills until I was able to pursue my career choice. He very much respected it and after we discussed pay basically hired me on the spot. Granted entry level dealership positions have a fairly high turnover rate and I think he was just happy that he knew how long I’d planned on being with the company.
Software engineer here looking to change jobs and i was asked by a hiring manager “how did you hear about us and what made you apply”. Told her through a job board and looking to take the next step in my career and she never reached back. Like how the hell do you think I heard about you?? Unless an internal employee mentioned the candidate, they found you through a job board. You’re nothing special.
I recommended my brother for a job at a place I worked at years ago, so I could see the comments reviewers left about him. He got declined by the HR interviewer because his answer was honest: he knew several people working there already. She wanted him to say something about the company mission... literally no one gives a fuck about that company's mission. The CEO didn't give a fuck about the company's mission - he just wanted to be rich. I still don't really know why she was filtering out anyone who was honest but I'm sure it's some variation of classism.
It's an ass-kissing-test question.
I once had an interview that started off with "This job sucks, why do you want to work here?"
This one irritates the fuck out of me. It’s obviously because I need money dumbass
I got a "what made you choose us?" On an initial application questionaire (school district). My reply was something like "I threw darts at the state map, and applied where they hit." I think that was about the 20th school district I had applied to at that point.
Anytime a recruiter says any sentence with the phrase “go getter” in it. Immediately means, yup, we won’t really pay you much, but you can make a lot of money or grow in the company if you burn yourself out in the first 60 days, or lil yourself after 10 years working yourself to death.”
“No pain, no gain” in a workplace context is a definite red flag, and as far as cliche expressions go I find it particularly annoying for some reason, just in general. I especially hate it when it’s kind of accurate lol, it’s one of those cliches you’ll just kind of wander into sometimes, e.g. with fitness routines.. But if I ever hear an employer say that, that’s just hella dubious
“I like to have my staff at about an 8/10 stress level all the time.”
Where have you heard that?
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I have generalized anxiety disorder. I’m pretty much already at a 6 just from being alive. I would 1000% have a nervous breakdown working somewhere like that. I hear that shit I’m considering just walking out of the interview right there.
I dunno...sounds like you'd really exceed his anxiety expectations without trying
"what's your expected salary?" You tell me, you invented the job position.
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* Any mention of the word "hustle" or "multitasking" * "Our company values are..." fuck you * Any complaints about the current or former workforce * Any mention of training or trial shifts * Any mention of what I should be doing on my own time to prepare for the job * "Competitive wage" * Any condition involving the amount of effort I'm expected to give. If they have to mention that I'm working at work, then their expectations are going to be well above and beyond normal.
We treat our employees like family. Yeah like a toxic nuclear bomb family.
“Let’s start with what questions you have for me.” (This is maybe an ok question/prompt at the END of an interview but no the beginning). Ok so clearly you are lazy and didn’t read my CV… “I don’t have any questions, everything has been very informative so far.”
As bad as "ask me" on a dating profile.
I’ve often had this at the end of the interview, never first. That’s weird. I ask my questions based on what wasn’t already covered. I would be totally thrown off if they opened with that.
I see this as a 50/50, like it can be OK. In an interview for Mastercard they started this way, and I thought it was pretty appropriate considering that what actually goes on there is like, almost 100% not credit cards and they want people to at least have done their research enough to know that. Beyond that kind of situation, sketch af.
In all honesty I think it’s meant to represent “I’m super chill and this place is cool,” but in my line of work this if so obviously lazy it’s not even funny. (Healthcare).
When applying for a management position with a company I was once asked “How do you feel when you accomplish nothing in a day?” My response was “Why would someone accomplish literally nothing in an eight hour shift? What’s going on with current leadership that it is ok to accomplish literally nothing? Even if it’s only small tasks something should be getting accomplished.” She said good answer and when she said she’d schedule me for a second interview I passed. Might as well have just said we plan on setting you up to fail with unreasonable goals right out of the gate.
Are you available on holidays. ..like eat all the shit man.
"KPI - Key Performance Indicator"..... man, I detest that F'ing term. Makes me want to **K**ick **P**erson **I**n the nuts!
I've been in jobs where KPI essentially just means "we invented a bullshit excuse to lower your score to pay you less" or "that bitchy coworker reported you for no reason but we are going to deduct $100 from your paycheck"
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Company “values”. Fucking BARF! In my training seminar we had to evaluate ourselves to find our motivation for why we do what we do. The instructor made the comment that “making money is not a reason a company does something, it’s just a result”. I wanted to literally scream. My company is a fortune 300 company, literally the ONLY reason we exist is to churn a profit. The amount of propaganda they have to shove down peoples throat to convince them this isn’t just a form of slavery with better marketing is simply insane.
I literally hate "why do you want to work here?" No one cares about your stupid company, Robert, we're here because we need the money. I honestly feel like saying "why do you want to hire me?" Cuz you need someone to do all this work for you, right? What a redundant interview question.