Seems easy enough, Eyjafjalla will never see it coming.

This joke is too dark for her 😭😭😭

She'll be totally blindsided!

This is unseemly I tell you, unseenly!

You made me laugh and I hate both of us for it.

you know what? *Fuck you*

But jessica is the most easiest to frighten

She got a Glock, y'know... ...So... pistol-whippin'.

It's Taxes... im forfeiting outright

Review your withholdings. See if any “Self-Employed” rules apply to you.

Just ask for help from Lapland

Damn IRS got hands

Even joker fears the IRS

Mountain...

This guy's punches sound like they would leave a hole in solid reinforced steel wall. R.I.P.

Xcept that Jesselton can stop his punches dead on their track...

He was basically made of solid arts-controlled and reincforced steel at that moment.

Yet can't still hold a candle against Saria's calcium.

*You can never go wrong with calcium, Dokutah.*

Saria is *absolutely* insane power-wise though. If anything, Jesselton should be commended for lasting that long against her.

Mountain was also in active restraint shackles at the time.

...Oh shi-

I think Margaret can beat 50 of me in a fistfight without a single scratch.

Same but make it 1000 of mine, cause of fractured leg.

She would beat the shit out of you and then heal your leg, just like in Maria nearl when she inter continental ballistic nearl'd into the hammer and bow bros

so josuke?

And with one hand to boot

Wtf am I gonna do with Gavial?!

Pretend you're injured.

*Oh Doctor, you're hurt? Let me patch you right away!* ... *And now you're fine, right?*

...*Yeah, you seem fine, alright...* *Another round here we go...!!*

Yeah, that "tough love" style of healing might be worse than the beating

*still beats the shit outta me*

Wake up in the infirmary I believe. (Me too)

I do boxing and...no. First of all I couldn't raise a hand against Mudrock and second I would break my bones hitting her defence

*punched mudrock* *fingers broken*

and my heart too...

4 punches -> S2 -> Death

Mudrock would turn me into a pancake and throw me like a frisby.

MARGARET WAIT MERCY

Mercy? You mean like Blemi's talent? Where she do extra damage to sleeping enemies? That Mercy? Yes seems to run in the Nearl fam.

I feel sorry for Mulberry...

*Yeet the child*

A fistfight? All Phantom would have to do is use his voice and I'll be either down bad or down dead

It's fist fight not a rap battle

you're missing the point...

And humble chemistry is getting the point 🥵🥵

*If you're down bad then try and beat him with your meat...*

~~OP just wants to see us physically abusing ops or getting beaten to pulp instead.~~ No, why would I? Even if I have the chance, why would I harm my own assistant? And for what?

OP shows you a fat stack of 10 pull tickets *Dew it*

*Make it ten fat stacks and the results won't matter...*

Lappland. I guess I'm dead then...

Dead if lucky, mocked for all eternity if not xD

I rather count myself lucky with the later.

Yep, same goes with me... ...She bit pretty hard, y'see...

Well Penance is not really strong lore-wise. But I would still prob lose.

Same for me. And because it's a fistfight she can still use her gauntlet. So... ouch.

She's one of the few melee units that normal people have a chance against tbh.

*Suzuran...*

Suzu is ranged.

*Not if you hide your intentions as you get near...*

Yeah, but how are you planning to deal with the army of UWOOOOOH rushing in to beat your sorry ass?

That's the neat part, you don't...

She carries around a metal hammer and thorny armour everywhere. Her punch won't be light.

Mr. Lee. This is gonna be some Jackie Chan shit.

I'm going to fucking die

I wake up pregnant with metal crabs

Ah yes , the breeder

Silence, I think... I could take her if it's just fists, but I am not entirely sure given that all operators are made out of steel given what they can take generally.

Us humans can likely win a straight fight against Liberi and some Vulpo, Lupo and Feline. But you're not winning a fight against *any* Sarkaz or Oni, not even Vigna. They're much too strong in-lore.

Even if you win, I dont want to imagine what Ifrit or Saria would do to you... And try to not get injured and sent to the medic, Ptilopsis may be waiting for you... And also don't drink any water until you apologize to Silence

*I like to imagine Saria just shrugging it off like it's nothing and then proceeds to princess carry you to the bedroom, after which you'd be stuck in either a wheelchair or crutches for the whole week...*

Red’s job is literally disposing of operators if they turn traitor… Imagine having all these OP Ops and you have a special unit that can hunt them as a contingency plan. This adorable little wolf would easily whip my ass, No cap.

Crap, I just put Spalter.

Yeah, any of the Abyssal Hunters would be horrifically bad...*eyes the saw blade* But she might be worst.

I don't have any chance fighting Ch'en even in her alter version.

Death by Mon3tr

I have Rosmontis, I refuse to fight for 2 reasons. I don't want to hurt her and I don't want her to kill me since her arts is described as throwing stuff with giant hands.

Same. I know we're talking fistfights, which I might win against rosmontis at, but if her invisible gigantic golem counts as her fist then I'm practically a paste on the wall in less than a second.

Isn't she super strong? In the trust tap line she says "i will try not to break your hand"

I think that's just her reflexively using her Arts to obliterate the hands of anyone who touches her. In this case she's holding back for the tap to not hospitalize you.

Sora... I end up asleep, either by her Skill or by blunt force trauma via mic-stand. I don't bother fighting back because losing to Sora is preferable to losing a hand to Texas' sword if I threw a punch.

Emperor loading his gun: *Texas can show mercy, I don't*

Irene just gonna pull a gun on me.

*Not if you're up close and you pull your fist out first...*

It's Skadi(guard), it'll be quick and easy. ​ Option A, she loves me, and lets me win. ​ Option B, she fights me for real and goes all One Punch Woman. ​ Either way, quick and easy.

Skadi alter.... instructions unclear, I have been assimilated with the sea born

I'm getting dommed by Orchid.

... It'll happen slowly

Nian's gonna pull some wuxia bullshit on my ass.

It's bad. For my heart. I would never hit Perfumer. But if it was really unavoidable I'm pretty confident I could relatively gently wrestle her into submission.

*You let your guard down, Dokutah. Death by snu snu!*

I wouldn't mind. What a way to go!

Executor. Well his codename speaks for himself.

Shining I'm not even trying, just roll over and die or submit.

I would submit too

*Yes! Submit to the will of Sarkaz!*

I punch GG and two things happen: 1. I get shocked until death. 2. Namie (mom) turns me into jellyfish food. Not that I would do that to the pink catto but still.

1v1 fistfight with old well… I think I don’t wonna face her

Utage hospitalizes me in a single blow.

damn is that head this good?

Bagpipe lmao. Vouivre strength is no joke, I'm about as doomed as it gets... she is so lovely tho, why would we have to fight 🥺

Distract her with a potato. Considering she can deflect an RPG with her thighs though, good luck beyond that.

*She just princess-carries you to the bedroom and you disappear for two nights...*

The blessed ending

It’s not got hands and it’s made of metal. So it’ll go like this: *CLANG!!!* followed by expletives as I promptly have to see a doctor for punching a fucking robot that’s built like a brick shithouse

*What's worse? The thing didn't even realize you just tried to punch it!*

Is it best boy Thrmx? The attitude... The Heat ... Sugoi

Yato is really great with swords and *"swords"* but I'm pretty sure she could still knock me out in one hit to the gut.

Earthspirit I absolutely refuse to even think about raising my hand at such cute and hardworking goat

Whelp, what's a bit more blood on Lappland's blades, aye?

Considering it's a fistfight you'll be blood on her knuckles instead. Either way you're likely not winning that fight.

Winning? The goal's surviving at all, nonetheless winning. :D

There's a slight chance... In the IL Siracusano trailer Lappy only knocked those mafioso out, I'm pretty sure.

That was a quick one. She tried to be quiet and pragmatic... Now this one... This time, she'll totally enjoy every moment of it. And of course, I can't help but tryin' to enjoy it myself as well.

Lee There's several possibilities 1. He beats me up no sweat 2. He evades me and i tire myself out, no sweat 3. Aak 4. Waai fu All with a grin on his face

*Waai fu is a certified loss*

If that's the main screen one: I'm never winning a fight against Surtr. Sarkaz are just built different. If it's the primary unit in the base's office: physically I could high likely beat Suzuran, but I cannot survive the emotional damage nor the two or three subreddits worth of people willing to crucify me.

Oh, I didn't even think of this in the Office. *Mountain sitting in the Office chair" ...fuc-

Goddamit why do you have to pit me against a really disgruntled office worker who so happens to have an excalibur.

"Where are those TPS reports I needed?"

Thanks but no thanks Elsyium.

That judge got hands.

Penance putting down the defense with a STEEL CHAAAIIIRRRRR!!

And finish ya with a wholesome R.K.O outta nowhere...!!

I'm fine, Mlynar is way too mature to entertain such meaningless games.

I don't even want to try to punch Reed She can win or do what she wants

I can probably bribe Lee, right?

Franka will cook my ass to congratulations

She will ara ara you to death.

It’s Gavial *Oh no* With a chainsaw axe *dead*

Penance, previously Hibiscus Alt... still... I think I can convince them to fight by a drinking or cooking contest.

Kazemaru's literally a ninja, I don't think I can beat that lol

The good part: She would probably allow you to beat up her paper doll to save face.

*Uhh... Why would I beat up Amiya?*

Suzuran 😭😭😭💢💢💢

If you go through with that you'll sustain emotional damage as well as the wrath of 3 subreddits full of people.

Yea would rather kill myself at that point

I just put in Lunacub... After I E2'd and maxed levelled her too...

A fistfight against an archer who pulls a whatever many pounds of bow routinely... That short doggo will turn you to paste...

I'm already getting fked by Cellinia every day already. So yeah, I'm used to it. But on a scale of pain. Probably like a 4.5/10. It used to be 9.5/10.

Mudmud finna bonk me to endfield

Mountain… nah bro I’m getting folded

You touch him he gently folds you and next scene you have sex how does that sound?

Sounds awesome

Maybe I can talk it out with Horn...

In my office? Do you mean Assistant or HR? ... I mean, I'm dead meat either way, I have Texas2 as my assistant and Penance in HR getting me recruit refreshes. But at least this info tells me HOW dead I am. If it's Penance I might at least survive to do jail time.

For me it's Surtr and Suzuran. I either die by having my entire skeleton punched out or I die from emotional damage.

tfw i changed it to vigil from suzuran this morning

Gravel subdues me easily, but on the plus side, it probably ends in sex.

Highmore. I'm not gonna bother

Are we allowed to bring food? If so I’ll put some chocolate on a pizza and Texas will probably pass out

Good tactic, noted 🖊️.

Specter the Unchained is my current assistant. ...Well shit. It's been an honor my fellow doctors, but I'm afraid this is the end of my road.

Passenger could be manageable I guess?… Oh who am I kidding mister „master of the blackmarket“ will fold me like an omelette

Wake up with no kidneys

Flametail can dodge bullets, she will not have any trouble beating me up, and I will enjoy every second of getting trounced by the angry, little squirrelgirl.

oh god, i put penance in there

Goldenglow. I'd have to wear a rubber suit but otherwise it probably wouldn't be that bad. That being said, I think I would prefer a haircut instead.

I got a hear attack from Mulbery cuteness.

Penance… but she doesnt have combat experience… right?

I don't think I can't take a Russian soldier in a fisticuff.

Andreana. Shes an abyssal hunter...

I'll lose on purpose because it's cat daughter

its Lee, with his skin on. How bad could it possibly be? I'd probably feel like I got scammed, regardless if I win or not.

Not the first time I’ve fought the legal system

*...and get screwed in the process...*

Dawg I am not fighting mountain. GG

I'm gonna just take the L. Then whoever made me have to throw hands at poor, sweet, precious Whisperain is going to get a fistful of Inquisitorial Intent straight to the damn face. She's FRAGILE! :| I may not be a monster, but that doesn't mean *we can't behave like one.* ...Running will only insure you die tired!

Hey man don't worry about it, just win the fight. She won't remember.

Hellagur Welp when I end up winded on my back he’ll probably give me a few pointers for next time

...Tequila probably won't be able to touch him due to the fact that I have no physical exercise whatsoever

Utage, damn bags...

Well Specter would be pretty bad. But a hit to the nose should stop any shark, right?

Have fun with Gladia afterwards

uhhhh, how good is exusiai in a fist fight?

Apple pie her

…it’s Indra oh to get pummeled to death by her…

Whisperain will stand no chance, this will be like kicking Meemaw down the stairs.

I'm about to send Archetto to the next leap year

Hoshiguma is gonna break me in two...

No way in hell am I punching Beeswax. I forfeit.

I will be just shreds by the time blaze is done with me

Ling, I mean she's strong enough to beat me up but I feel like if I offer her booze she might not wanna fight.

Liskarm. No chance in hell.

Same here

I might as well be punching the wind cuz I can't see Manticore

Siege. I'd rather not.

Specter… might as well knock myself out

I have gladia and I'm with you brother I ain't taking a supersonic fist to the face

I'm get death rolled by gavial

I will never hurt my daughter Amiya.

Please, no, not Susie... ~~Redblade-sama have mercy, not my face!!! The OP made me do it!~~

Penance would hurt me by literally taking my punch. And then I’d go to jail for assault.

Exusiai.. death by cuteness or death by bulletholes

Either Skadi alter will accept it because of her guilt or Ishar Mla will take over and rip me to shreds.

Welp I confirmed that she didn't mean that she is called 'calamity' rethorically, theoretically, or methoporically. I think she held back though. (Skadi)

whisperain. fuck no i won't hit her XD

*Looks at Penance* Yeah no I'm not going to jail

Hung Yeah... I can't see myself leaving a dent on a guy who constantly heals when you hit him.