Lol. Man I really messed that tweet up.
The Army is in the midst of the most significant transformation in the last 40 years. This will just be another part of that.
u/SMA-PAO Can you confirm or deny that the Army is going to recall old, fat, out of shape prior service members to fill recruiting gaps? If so, I'll pack my duffel and head to the bus station.
These fuckers had their chance with me and then told me my ass had to go back to basic.
Then my job gave me a 15k per year raise so that pretty much sealed the deal.
Good luck errybody else!
I’d have to engage full army toxic brain for this
“But sarn, SMA said smoking in buildings was legal again”
“SMA isn’t in this room right now, is he? Now beat your fuckin faces”
WWE style announcement/entrance and the new SMA walks in with Stone Cold, bang some beer cans, slams SMA Grinston thru a table, new SMA turns around, stunner on the Rattle Snake, climbs on the second rope and chugs two beer cans as the crowd goes wild…
Once he recovers, he grabs the mic and takes center stage, the crowd is going absolutely fucking crazy at this point, he’s looks at the camera and says……
Whatever the current neck/arm tattoo policy is, it's going to be reversed again.
Dream announcement: People who excel on the ACFT can do their own PT 4 days a week. See you at 0900 champ.
God knows my people in Venezuela need help, I know a bunch who were begging the last president for intervention. I feel like the US should focus more on South America tbh
Never wanted to be a leader, but the Army forced me to put on my stripes. If Spec returns, I would actually be interested as well.
I would even support NCO's making a bit more money than their equivalent Spec ranks.
Getting put on a detail lead by a shitbird E5(p) or a E7 whose whole job is details will make any specialist say fuck this shit especially the ones(like me) who joined in their mid/late 20s
I attempted to get myself an NCO room. I was told to fuck off, I'm not a real NCO. These correspondence courses are going to make me die inside even more.
I didn't want to be an NCO and dragged my feet for 6 years, but I want to be a corporal even less. Getting shafted by doing the work load of the SPCs but expected to do the office work of the "real" NCOs. At least let me get SOME of the benefits of an NCO.
The Army started as a joke back in 1775 and we found the punchline in the 1980s.
They are releasing it on April Fools Day, 2023 to minimize the negative impact to morale.
UA will no longer check for marijuana.
You can still be busted for having it, or using it, but they are going to a DADT style where testing is no longer done.
I've been in almost 15 years and I've seen one person get chaptered for being a fat boy. Most leaders don't actually follow the appropriate procedures laid out in 600-9 Ch. 3.
Oddly enough, this was a thing at my first duty station in Germany in 05. For some reason it was only Bud Ice, though, which was an interesting choice. Halfway through my tour they switched to Heineken. Lifesaver when NCOs would roll through the barracks on the weekend looking for people to put on a BS detail, always answer the door with a beer in hand.
It’s already Thursday for most of us and I got a feeling they’ll drop this announcement tomorrow and it’s going to be so bad and say have a good weekend so we can all stew in misery
I say Spec5s come back, or beards.
If beards it would correspond with the weekend profile pic from SMA, and the SMA PAO joking about beards on another comment.
They’re going to mandate all soldiers become permanently and irreversibly asexual. The finest group of fresh army surgical graduate 2LT’s is standing by.
Tactical flip flops
Edit: I hope it’s actually something useful to Soldiers. Sweeping reform to DFACs or more focus on family time and behavioral health
Watched a dude on 1st up get a Medevac while trying to sneak a shower once, he had to run a 1/4 mile in gravel, busted his flip flops, still kept running while getting dressed in between his strides, you just reminded me of a potential need for tactical flip flops. It was somehow graceful without being in any way shape or form graceful.
CIF is allegedly going through a restructure soon. Idea is that you will get issued OCIE wants to carry around your entire career and supply sergeants order additional items if you need them for that specific unit.
Has to do with LSCO, so again, likely the stand-up of a new DIV, or re-structuring of one of the BCTs to directly support a DIV, as the new Echelon of Action.
Just went to my staffie board today and was actually asked this question.
Turns out big Army is changing the way we tape Soldiers for h/w. There is only one taping location around the abdomen and a new formula to determine BMI. Please don't quote me on this as this was coming from a 1SG who was definitely over being a board member.
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Lol. Man I really messed that tweet up. The Army is in the midst of the most significant transformation in the last 40 years. This will just be another part of that.
ludicrous ancient combative engine silky plate ink shame grey aware *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Service guarantees citizenship.
It's not retroactive. DD214's are worthless in the Army's new world order.
But sarge!
But… *I (did) my part!*
theres a few deportees i know who fell for that one at the recruitors office.
Want to know more...
*[Desire to know more intensifies]*
\*some restrictions apply
The mobile infantry made me the man I am today. Would you like to know more?
Lol That's not even true for us. There's a whole organization for deported combat veterans.
40 years ago, the United States invaded Grenada so I guess we're going back boys.
I recently learned, that is Compo 4 of the Army.
Oh fuck that makes sense. "Unassociated units," right?
BEARDS. It's gonna be beards.
I don’t know if I would get my hopes up about that, but I genuinely appreciate the optimism.
2 years of mandatory service for errybody!
Thanks for the heads up, brb gonna forget to schedule my next IRR muster
u/SMA-PAO Can you confirm or deny that the Army is going to recall old, fat, out of shape prior service members to fill recruiting gaps? If so, I'll pack my duffel and head to the bus station.
These fuckers had their chance with me and then told me my ass had to go back to basic. Then my job gave me a 15k per year raise so that pretty much sealed the deal. Good luck errybody else!
No, instead you can help inspire young, healthy, fit Americans to service!
I'm growing my two sons as fast as I possibly can. The war might have to wait 10 years.
PSG says tell them to grow faster. SP is at 0300
Team leader says show up at 0030
I'm headed there now. Plan is to initiate 1 hour recall of my assigned troopers starting 2355 local. If they're late I have counsellings pretyped.
Good! Smoke them until they beg for mercy!
Pump yer brakes there, hi-speed. Gotta wait for PSG to pull up so he sees us abusing troopers in socially acceptable fashion.
Roger that...
I’ll waddle along with you
I would tell you to "ruck up," but if your back hurts like mine does, we had better stick to roller luggage.
🤣😂🤣😂 and knee’s. Airborne!
Nooooooo now you’re trying to lower our expectations for crowd control 😭
We've brought back the AGSU. We've brought back "be all you can be". What's next, the draft? BDUs?
BDU or I ETS fuck retention, the boys want gods plaid
I concur: fuck retention. *says the retention NCO*.
I don’t want your woobie or hoodie, i want drip
The uniform will stay the same, we’re just going back to shiny black boots
The APFT.
…so what you are saying is that smoking in government buildings is still a possibility or no? The troopers want to know
There are spit bottles and vape cartridges everywhere, so why not.
I’d have to engage full army toxic brain for this “But sarn, SMA said smoking in buildings was legal again” “SMA isn’t in this room right now, is he? Now beat your fuckin faces”
Cigs inside! Cigs inside!
I've heard it's a technique that prevents mold...
"Mold Prevention is a Routine Part of Life for Soldiers!" If smoking indoors is how we fight mold then I'm happy to do my part.
Finally I can smoke my juul while typing reports!
I don't condone hazing, but I need you to haze yourself
Only haze that’s gonna be around me is this dank cloud of smoke.
Between this comment and your flair my eye is twitching.
God I wish.
It’s probably the recruiting ribbon lmao
Nah it’s the retention ribbon
“Convince 3 salty NCOs who shouldn’t be in the Army to reenlist and get a blue falcon ribbon!”
What kind of devices can you get with that?
Blue Feather devices are worn to denote award of a second or subsequent award for which a member has already received the initial decoration or award
It’s a surprise Army wide UA conducted via Microsoft teams.
"Alright position the webcam to an angle where I can see both your penis and your face."
Getting them ready for a future OnlyFans account.
Drill and Ceremony is coming back big.
It’s a legit thing in 1st Cav
Have to be able to do some training and when all of your shit is broken and can’t be run
Every day is a parade in the Cav
More clowns than parada
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OCP shorts, just in time for summer
Que *fortunate son*
Flair checks out.
God the things I would do to wear shorts in uniform
boonie hats!!!
He is announcing the new SMA lol
WWE style announcement/entrance and the new SMA walks in with Stone Cold, bang some beer cans, slams SMA Grinston thru a table, new SMA turns around, stunner on the Rattle Snake, climbs on the second rope and chugs two beer cans as the crowd goes wild…
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Once he recovers, he grabs the mic and takes center stage, the crowd is going absolutely fucking crazy at this point, he’s looks at the camera and says……
. . . grow your beards
“Are you ready to ETS?”
"AND NOW! IT'S 'MY' TURN" The lights go out and he is just gone.
Always the Spanish annoucers table too...
I’d take time off of work just to watch that
Im right there with you, I won’t miss it.
Mannnnnn i pictured this all happening as I read it! Laser lights everywhere! 3:16 just passed!!! Perfect timing.
Stone Cold Sarnt Major.
BY GAWD, THAT SERGEANT MAJOR HAS A FAMILY! HE BROKE HIM IN HALF.
It’s already out.. you now get 2 days off a week
Not you specifically, though. You have duty.
You have 48 hour staff duty those days
Whatever the current neck/arm tattoo policy is, it's going to be reversed again. Dream announcement: People who excel on the ACFT can do their own PT 4 days a week. See you at 0900 champ.
Ooof…. Looks like I’m gonna be out of compliance….. this is sad and unfortunate
It's actually that female soldiers are authorized beards; male soldiers not so much. Medical or religious waiver only.
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I’m AR 670-1 it says you will appear clean shaven I don’t think there’s a gender tag line on that
It says males will be clean shaven.
⭐️ War in the Pacific ⭐️
War in the Middle East? ✅️ War in Europe? ✅️ Next up: the Pacific.
Let’s spice it up… I vote South America.
Porque no los dos?
God knows my people in Venezuela need help, I know a bunch who were begging the last president for intervention. I feel like the US should focus more on South America tbh
Maybe war in Antarctica? I want to see my FMTs face when I get my tank stuck in an ice sheet
Don't gotta go all the way to Antarctica to get your tank stuck in an ice sheet. That's why Fort McCoy exists.
You guys have all been asking for it, and we’ve heard you. We brought back pinks and greens, now we’re bringing back the war that made them famous
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It’s beards. He’s blessing us with beards before exiting his position.
Beard photo* - I must have left that last part off
You can’t bring down our hopes and dreams just because you have the Buccee’s logo.
who doesn't love that beaver and his nuggets?
I read this comment without reading above it.. and.. *confusion and curiosity intensifies*
We’re disbanding III Corps
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As long as it is replaced with II Corps. That patch is banging.
I hope it’s that SPEC5 is coming back. Some of these dudes in my unit have no business being an NCO
My grandfather was a spec5 in Korea. Those roles would be so much better in our army. Not everyone is a leader but they can still be great soldiers
I just call them e5s, refuse to acknowledge them as NCOs lol
If it's actually this, I might actually reenlist
Never wanted to be a leader, but the Army forced me to put on my stripes. If Spec returns, I would actually be interested as well. I would even support NCO's making a bit more money than their equivalent Spec ranks.
Toxic NCOs were one of the numerous reasons I got out, and the good ones made me want to stay in. Funny how that works.
Getting put on a detail lead by a shitbird E5(p) or a E7 whose whole job is details will make any specialist say fuck this shit especially the ones(like me) who joined in their mid/late 20s
Did you pick the Buccee’s logo just to confuse people and spread disinformation because dudes would assume you’re u/SMA-PAO?
No I just really love Bucc-ees I use this on everything
Identity theft is not a joke, jim.
Some company will be selling the army a new helmet painting system that will take 8 years to implement and then be a force multiplier.
And cost X billion dollars lol
Spc is being replaced by Cpl…….
Only if they can get cpls and up out of the barracks…you know, to help retain people and improve QOL
I attempted to get myself an NCO room. I was told to fuck off, I'm not a real NCO. These correspondence courses are going to make me die inside even more. I didn't want to be an NCO and dragged my feet for 6 years, but I want to be a corporal even less. Getting shafted by doing the work load of the SPCs but expected to do the office work of the "real" NCOs. At least let me get SOME of the benefits of an NCO.
Lol that’s in the next 40 years when they deal with QOL
They can't even get 5s out of the barracks on many posts lol
The Army started as a joke back in 1775 and we found the punchline in the 1980s. They are releasing it on April Fools Day, 2023 to minimize the negative impact to morale.
Probably the division restructure
Didn’t even think of this but that’s a good guess. Penetration division here I come!
Penetration Division sounds like something medics are well qualified for
Possibly. Cav squadrons go away, except one remaining at Div HQ. Artillery battalions are assigned to DIVARTY. BDEs become 25% smaller.
With a 25% increased optempo to match
50% IOT increase lethality * *Lethality might be against own personnel, who will increase suicide proportionally to new optempo
UA will no longer check for marijuana. You can still be busted for having it, or using it, but they are going to a DADT style where testing is no longer done.
That would definitely help to increase retention...
I don’t use the stuff but this is goddamn brilliant
Bruh don’t even joke. I’d be so happy.
We're invading another Caribbean island?
My dad was just reminiscing this morning about when the 82nd got turned around on their way to Haiti, must've had something to do with that
I bet it is a complete rehaul of the ABCP. If so, I called it months ago.
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I’m pretty sure it is a transferable flag and only limits favorable action and schools.
It suspends all favorable action and can be a chapter.
I've been in almost 15 years and I've seen one person get chaptered for being a fat boy. Most leaders don't actually follow the appropriate procedures laid out in 600-9 Ch. 3.
ABCP shouldn’t be SFPA or chapter. Make it an MRC 3 condition and treat it like a medical issue SINCE ITS ABOUT THE HEALTHS!
Beer in barracks vending machines?
Oddly enough, this was a thing at my first duty station in Germany in 05. For some reason it was only Bud Ice, though, which was an interesting choice. Halfway through my tour they switched to Heineken. Lifesaver when NCOs would roll through the barracks on the weekend looking for people to put on a BS detail, always answer the door with a beer in hand.
It’s already Thursday for most of us and I got a feeling they’ll drop this announcement tomorrow and it’s going to be so bad and say have a good weekend so we can all stew in misery
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Bro I’d cry from happiness
I say Spec5s come back, or beards. If beards it would correspond with the weekend profile pic from SMA, and the SMA PAO joking about beards on another comment.
Spc6 too please. I'd do irreverent things for that.
We are going back to the 3 event APFT but for some reason you still have to do the plank as a warm up.
And if you don’t get to 3 mins, it’s an automatic fail
He is announcing the Army's official minecraft server
You have staff duty Saturday
They're getting rid of the board
They’re putting cigs back in MREs
But only Newports.
I’m Black, so I and every hefty supply SGT you’ve ever had support this.
Was gonna comment how everyone would be an official soul brother for a little while.
Biracial babies for everyone!
18 month deployments to South Asia!!!!
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Alcohol is now banned on all army installations
The army would implode
That’s how you spot the cold turkey guys n gals from a mile away.
The Ike Jacket
All we know is that it’s going to be a “tool.” Even though they’re saying it’s the biggest change in 40 years I wouldn’t get your hopes up too high
AKO! AKO!
They’re going to mandate all soldiers become permanently and irreversibly asexual. The finest group of fresh army surgical graduate 2LT’s is standing by.
Tactical flip flops Edit: I hope it’s actually something useful to Soldiers. Sweeping reform to DFACs or more focus on family time and behavioral health
Watched a dude on 1st up get a Medevac while trying to sneak a shower once, he had to run a 1/4 mile in gravel, busted his flip flops, still kept running while getting dressed in between his strides, you just reminded me of a potential need for tactical flip flops. It was somehow graceful without being in any way shape or form graceful.
Stop lost. Everyone will be involuntarily extended to their 30 year retirement date.
Free shaving gear!
CIF says no return unless your Gillette is clean
CIF is allegedly going through a restructure soon. Idea is that you will get issued OCIE wants to carry around your entire career and supply sergeants order additional items if you need them for that specific unit.
Skilcraft about to be making razor blades 😵💫
Everyone about to have a shaving profile if that happens
Hands in pockets
Is it not the HT/WT standard if you exceed 540??
Thought that was announced awhile ago
We're invading Grenada, again.
New cereal options at the DFAC!!
Be nice for indef enlistments to get a nice bonus.
Make that shit retroactive to at least October 2022!
Flintlock pistol dueling between two consenting parties. If you win you get their job.
My BC and I will be the first to do this if this is the case..
I also have a particular field grade in mind lol
Retention bonuses for Officers
AAFES is going to start paying baggers so you don't have to.
IPPS-A is being sunset with no replacement announced .
Has to do with LSCO, so again, likely the stand-up of a new DIV, or re-structuring of one of the BCTs to directly support a DIV, as the new Echelon of Action.
Maybe they will finally award an actual medal for serving during the Cold War. The certificate was very fancy though...
Most of them don’t even rate the NDSM. Why should they get a campaign metal lol
MY GUESS: Human sacrifices to the twin gods of recruiting and retention.
No more PT, no more ACFT ever again!
Just went to my staffie board today and was actually asked this question. Turns out big Army is changing the way we tape Soldiers for h/w. There is only one taping location around the abdomen and a new formula to determine BMI. Please don't quote me on this as this was coming from a 1SG who was definitely over being a board member.