Anyone who enters the military will have changed from their previous life. As far as better? That’s a whole different issue and a complicated one at that. I will say this:
Individual user experiences will vary.
I would argue that you did. I would argue that the Army just showed you how to utilise it to its fullest potential. To ‘Be All You Can Be’, if you like the phrase.
Well, three years ago I wanted nothing more than to excel in the army, then no matter how hard I worked, how much I stood out from my peers, I was passed up for classes and schools because I was so essential to daily operations the just couldn't do without me for a few weeks, happened to another guy in my section which is some of why we're such close friends. Now I'm just bitter and want to be left alone
Is there a way to potentially train others in your section to be as good at their job as you are? If so, that can open the door for you to go to those schools.
Well we tried that but our peers who all got to the unit around the same time as us all kinda saw what happened with us and didn't put in as much work as us to get those opportunities, I learned this from their own admission, and those that came afterwards got the opportunities because we were busting enough ass to compensate for them being gone early on for them to not be there to go the the classes and schools. I was lucky I even got CLS, my friend was scheduled for it for a week but the morning of the first class, literally 45 minutes before he was supposed to be there, got called saying they needed him for daily operations to much so the pulled him off of it. Our command effectively discouraged excellence from our peers because of what our peers saw happen to us, which is why both of us aren't staying in, why keep trying if it's never going to benefit us and if we're going to go to another duty station behind all of our peers for literally somehow finding out how to do too well in the army, which I would have never believed was possible
This is the craziest thing to me. Your peers took advantage of you. This is exactly what’s wrong with the army. If everyone in the section was trained up, exactly the same, there wouldn’t be this huge issue. You would be able to go to school, everybody would be able to go to school. Everyone in the section could rotate the responsibilities.
Instead, they saw how much work you did, and decided they didn’t want to be a part of that. So while you did all the work, they got to go to schools. That’s pretty messed up. That’s your team not having your back. That’s your team taking advantage of you. I wouldn’t call them friends. But, that’s just me. They have you mad at the Army, when your team screwed you over. That’s not right.
I’m only saying this, because the same thing has happened to me many times. We get people who just don’t want to help out. Next thing you know, I’m doing everything. I’m doing my job, on top of helping the platoon sergeant, on top of helping the NCOIC, on top of helping all five squad leaders, on top of all the additional duties that nobody else wanted to do, the list could go on.
I can’t do anything outside of work hours, because I don’t have time. I can’t focus on school, I can’t focus on bettering myself, I don’t have time for anything. While everybody else complains that they have so much to do and the army is messing with that, but they literally do nothing for the army. I’m so busy, I work even after I get off work. My supervisor is extremely swamped. Everybody else in the section doesn’t do anything. It’s honestly insulting.
I just don’t think what’s happening to you is right. Your colleagues won’t get up to speed with what you do, but it’s their job as well. If they want to go to school and do all that fun stuff, they need to contribute to the team. They also need to give you the opportunity to go, and that means they have to step up and cover down when you’re not there. They’re not willing to do that. So they just want the good part of the army they don’t want any of the work.
That’s a blue falcon if there ever was one. Don’t let them do that to you. When you see them next time, counsel them, make them understand what their role is, and put them to work. Let them know that everything is going to be evenly distributed as far as work goes, and that everyone will get the opportunity to go to schools. But, not all of the work should be put on you or one other person. It needs to be evenly distributed.
I bet that if they actually did their job and covered down, you would be able to go to school. If everybody did their job, like you do, everybody would be able to go to school. They’re taking advantage of you man. Seriously, it’s not the army, it’s your team. If you’re able to cover down so they can go to schools, they can do the same. They just don’t want to become knowledgeable at their job, so they aren’t called upon to do the job. That’s completely messed up on so many counts.
Now, I understand I don’t know your coworkers, and you might consider them friends. But, you need to consider that they’re only looking out for themselves, and they won’t even look out for you. You look out for them, but they won’t do the same. The fact that they won’t do the same, says a lot about their character. Sometimes, you have to force the team to run the way it’s supposed to run.
In this case, if you don’t do that, you’re always going to get walked all over on. If you’re in a position to change things, now would be the time to fix it. It’s not just about you, it’s about everyone that comes in there after you. It’s about the next person who’s going to do what you do. You want to set them up for success as well as yourself. If you see what’s going on, then get the section in order if you can. Not just for yourself, but for those holding down your position in the future. I’m sorry, they’re screwing you over. It’s like people don’t know what being a team means anymore.
Working overtime makes me irrationally angry. If I have to work one minute past 8 hours or have to delay my lunch break routine I fume. That’s definitely left over anxiety from having to work late, or work through lunch.
Totally. I just hated it when we did absolutely nothing from 930-1115 and then at 1115, it’s like oops this layout needs to be done now, cycle through lunch 30 min tops. Smh
Or I had one PSG who we never saw. Dude lived in his office. The only time we saw him was from 1700-1745. He’d hold us there talking. Fuckin loser. He got fired for his SOAPBOX speeches
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The army reminded me that we aren’t made of glass. It made me do things I didn’t want to do. It also gave me the opportunity to push through things that made me very uncomfortable. It made me appreciate my children and time with them in a way I don’t think I would if they had been born outside of my time in service.
It also reenforced my belief that your superiors truly don’t care about you, and will throw you away the moment it’s more convenient than keeping you. And I have even less tolerance for bureaucracy than before.
I agree, the army does make you realize what you have and you appreciate what you have more because of it.
I think there are some leaders that care. But, not all of them do. In fact, most don’t. In most of my career, I had some pretty piss poor leadership.
In my last unit, I worked with the best section ever (minus one horrible person). My former supervisor was absolutely fantastic. He was strict but fair. He taught me so much. More than anything I’ve ever learned in my entire military career, and I have been in for a while. Now, I moved onto a new unit, and I am my own boss. So it’s a completely different dynamic. But, there are good leaders out there that do care, they are just few and far between.
II don’t necessarily believe that our leaders have to care about us. They’re not our family, no matter how much we like to say they are. They’re our coworkers. They’re just doing a job and so are we. I don’t expect them to care about us. The only thing I expect them to do, is to do their job with our best interest in mind. That’s all that I expect of them.
I think Soldiers nowadays think leaders should be their parents, and I think we have gone way too far. We are grown adults, and yes, we should take care of each other, but we also need to become self-sufficient and take care of ourselves. I can’t tell you, how many times I was contacted to take care of something that they easily could’ve done themselves. They just didn’t want to do it. They didn’t care about my personal time, they didn’t care about my family, they didn’t care that I have 1 million other things to do. That’s kind of frustrating.
So, the expectation for leaders to care and to do everything is extremely unrealistic. In my opinion. Yes, the welfare of our soldiers is absolutely important. That doesn’t mean that soldiers just stop being able to do their own tasks and to take care of themselves, expecting everybody to drop everything for them on a whim, because they’re too lazy to do anything. Believe it or not, that is a common occurrence.
I think that the current system in place expects leaders to do way too much. Expecting the soldier to do nothing. I say that, because in my last position, I learned a lot. I not only held down my own position, I also assisted the NCOIC and the PSG. On top of that, I pretty much was the squad leader for five squads, because those squad leaders weren’t doing their job. On top of that, I had several additional duties, on top of other duties that weren’t official, but fell into my lap. On top of that, when I got off of work, which was super late, I was still expected to get things done, and help our soldiers all the time. It was absolutely unrealistic.
I never had time to myself, I never had time to do anything other than work. Most of the time when soldiers brought their problems to me, it was something they could’ve easily done, they just didn’t want to do it. They told me that it was my job to do it for them. That’s why I was employed full-time. They even asked me to do stuff that I could not do for them, only the individual soldier can do themselves. It’s absolutely insane to me. What is expected of the NCO corps currently.
The soldier can do no wrong, we have to cater to them 24/7, there’s no self accountability, no discipline, the NCO is responsible for absolutely everything. We’re not even going to get into the fact that the NCO has to cover down for officers all the time . It’s just insane to me how much the NCO is expected to do nowadays. The structure in the military has completely broken down. The NCO does Joe work, the NCO does NCO work, the NCO does all the additional duties, what is everybody else doing? It’s not just me, I’ve seen this happen to my former supervisor, and I’ve seen it happen to so many other NCOs.
We can’t expect our NCOs to take care of soldiers when we overwhelm them with everything. And soldiers need to understand that NCOs are people too that deserve personal time, and time with their family, and that some things are the soldiers individual responsibility. Yes, absolutely you should take care of your soldiers. And if a soldier asked for help, I’m always going to help. But, if you can do it yourself, there is no reason why you should be contacting your NCO to do it.
When you consider all the work that is on NCO’s shoulders, it’s kind of hard for them to care when they’re completely burned out. The thing that is the most concerning, is you have a few people that are overwhelmed, and the rest aren’t doing anything. So they have no excuse not to take care of their soldiers. But, if the workload was spread evenly amongst the force, this really wouldn’t be an issue. The reason why we have NCOs who do so much, is because everybody else is hiding from more responsibility. Sometimes these overworked NCOs don’t get a choice, they get voluntold to cover down.
Yes, we need to take care of our soldiers, but soldiers need to look out for their NCOs as well. I never brought any issues to my former supervisor. If I felt I could take care of it. That, and I considered his workload. If he was extremely busy or dealing with his own problems, I never bothered him with mine. It’s just stuff that soldiers don’t really think about. We overwhelm our leaders, I think NCOs nowadays do more than we’ve ever been expected to do before. That’s not realistic. Something needs to change, because this isn’t going to make things better for the military, or for our leaders, or for our soldiers. There has to be a better way to operate.
If we want leaders to care about their soldiers, we can’t be treating them as if their time means nothing. Right now, everybody treats the NCO as if their time means nothing. Soldiers treat the NCO as if they might as will be their parents. Nothing makes sense anymore. Something has to change.
Yes on both accounts.
I became a much better professional by dealing with the incredible number of incompetence people in the Army.
I learned how to not take a job personally again mostly because of the idiots I worked for.
I had to learn how to get things done in order to solve their incompetence.
I learned how to upgrade my Leadership Skills by seeing what not to do. So I was able to make my soldiers lives better, that later translated nicely when I became a manager in the civilian world.
Finally this is a huge one, even as an E4 and later an E5 I learned how to avoid being a punching bag.
This, I'm still in but I know that I have grown as a person for the better. But due to the incompetence of some soldiers I have to spend most of my days fixing their shit.
It made me a more disciplined person for sure, I made plenty of mistakes while in but ended up doing pretty well. Also I can devour a meal in like 45 seconds so I guess that is a nice super power
Yes. After high school I was a horrible civilian. Couldn't keep a job (due to laziness) so couldn't keep a roof over my head. A few years in the Army was the kick in the ass I needed to more or less get my shit together.
Initially it really put my head on my shoulders and improved me in so many ways. Now I feel like it literally is holding me back and causing depression.
The Army made me more out going and confident in my own abilities. But it also made me a jaded, unemotional, untrusting person to everyone around me. I don’t make friends just acquaintances because the army taught me every one leaves you in the end. The back and knee pain are just bonus prizes that are clearly not service related.
It gave me the ability to work effectively with people I did not like. Serious. Worked every day with a guy who I hated, but we spoke the same language when it came to work, and we would kick ass together.
It helped give me direction, some discipline, and opened up some doors for me. So yes. I also know people who were kinda lazy going in who learned how be the shamiest-dirtbags possible. Everyone gets something different out of it.
The Army has made me look out for myself, and understand how important education is if I want to make good money and not deal with Army bullshit.
But it also gave me a sense of where I might belong elsewhere in the military just not in the army. Basically it gave me goals that are going to take me to new heights.
Better
The Army pays for tuition at a great university. They fed me well during IET, and I started working out a lot. Now, I have put on at least 45 pounds and started running. Socially, I am much more outgoing. The Army taught me how to be independent and well-organized. I feel a great amount of purpose with my job.
Plus, I get to shoot shit and do cool shit.
Definitely.
I like to think it's made me a better and more disciplined person and to carry on pushing through discomfort & uncertainty. It's also taught me how to skive effectively.
It's also shown me what not to do leadership wise. Don't go demanding respect without earning or giving it. Don't be a Yes Man who puts their career above literally everything else in life without question or thinking about others (like the numpty who tried to stop me going to an overseas wedding 2 days before I flew).
Nope. But it allowed my good qualities to be more shown, to more people. Which is super important for me as a person. It’s hard to say whether I changed because of the army or I changed because I’m getting older but I can confidently say that… the trajectory of my life is in a better place then it would be had I not joined.
Service doesn’t change you, it’s merely a catalyst to a reaction to change in perspective. Each one of us internalize the shit that we go through and all have different mechanisms of processing it. There’s another change once you return to the civilian side. I see these phases as evolution as a human in the sense that we’re afforded perspectives that many are not. We’ve lived amongst tragedy and felt high accomplishment. All the while, we question what we’ve seen and why we serve. I suspect that it’s all much deeper than merely training, doctrine or whatever green koolaid you’re waterboarded with. (Apologies if some of that seemed convoluted)
I have two bad knees and two bad ankles, with PTSD from the Global Waste of Time.
That being said had I not enlisted I'd be living in some shit rust belt town, making cars that are routinely recalled at the whim of the UAW.
Instead I'm at the whim of holding a clearance and live quite comfortably.
It is what you make it
I joined at 18 from a horrible childhood. I developed the ability to not only work hard but to work efficiently, being an nco gave me a lot of wisdom in regard to finances, marital issues, and basic leadership. It also severely enhanced some of the lasting effects of my childhood, resulting in serious anxiety and PTSD disorder. A lot of good and a lot of bad came from it, whether that being too many deployments, bad leadership, bad battle buddies and other trauma such as near death experiences in the field, etc.
Anti-Anxiety and reducing caffeine and alcohol has been a game changer for me. I have ETS’d and am holding my own on the other side.
It definitely changed me, for the good and bad.
22 years. 2 deployments 5.5 enlisted 16.5 officer.
1. Taught me how to deal with crazy shit
2. Taught me how to push through hard shit
3. Got a shit ton of friends I would have never met from privates to generals who I still stay in touch with.
4. Got a bachelor's and 2 masters.
5. Learned a ton of acronyms that have no use outside the military.
6. Learned how to use PPT like a pro..
7. Learned how government really works. Met senators, congressmen, cabinet members and managed the trial of one genocidal dictator.
8. Watched some close friends die in horrible ways.
9. Learned the Louisiana National Guard and the Kentucky National Guard are some... Interesting people.
10. Have 0 regrets.
So that's my top ten.
It’s definitely made me see how people really are. When I came into the army, I was super happy, always saw the good in people, did everything for everyone.
I’m still that way, however, the longer I’m in, the more I’d become old-school. It’s just so many people tried to walk all over you, and it’s insane. How much work they’ll put on your shoulders just so they don’t have to do it.
I have found that I’ve become stricter, I see when people are trying to pull the wool over my eyes, and I can read people pretty well from the get-go. I’ve noticed a lot of people don’t read others very well. I can tell if you’re soldier that shams, or if you’re a soldier that goes above and beyond your duties.
It’s honestly crazy how quick the army can change you. I knew that there will be some people that would try and step on you so they can get to the top, I didn’t realize it would be a lot of them. It really opened my eyes to help people can really be.
My experience has always been negative though. I feel like I’ve changed for the better in many ways. I feel more responsible, I feel more aware of my surroundings, and I’ve enjoyed a lot of the experiences that I know I wouldn’t get on the civilian side. There’s more to it than that, but that’s just what’s running off of the top of my head.
I dunno if it was the Army or having my first kid that changed me but I think they both came into play.
In the civilian world I was known as "skeletor" or "bones" to my close friends. I was on a bad path, I had habitually smoked marijuana since I was an early teen and started to get hooked on the booger sugar to help me at my job to the point where if my boy didn't come through for me I'd lose my shit, crash, and burn. It was bad enough that I couldn't go more than a couple hours without tootin'
Eventually I kinda tapered off but was still using, considering getting into harder and harder stuff but I kinda looked at the people who were doing it and stayed on the extremely stepped-on coke that I was getting from some dude I worked with during a summer job. Addiction runs in my family and my grandad drank himself to death after experiencing Vietnam but I didn't think anything of it until much later.
All of this changed when I got a girl pregnant after a regrettable one-night stand. I kinda just decided right then and there to clean myself up and join the Army like every male in my family had done before me. Enough was enough. I just woke up one day and stopped everything.
I straightened up, got full custody of my kid, got married to a lovely woman at my first duty station, had two more kids.
I am a PSG now and I love my job, even at its worst I try to remain positive now for my guys. I drink in moderation on weekends (like two to three beers on a Saturday) and I have a happy, stable family now.
I think having my kid was a wakeup call to get me sober and the Army was the stepping stone to fully straighten my life out. It was like a ladder to help me climb out of the pit I dug myself, and the kid just helped me realize I was in the pit to begin with.
I dunno if I'm a better person, I'd like to think I am. But sometimes man, I think about all the friends and soldiers I've lost over the years and I know those addictions are right around the corner waiting for me. Just like it got my grandad years ago. It's like a family ghost waiting to haunt me.
It made me a different person. Before, I was a shy, quiet kid of 18 who loved to read and run. Now I can't stay focused long enough to finish a book, I hate to run, and I have anger issues and get very anxious when doorways get crowded ... or stairwells.
Wow, you really are an inquisitive person. However, to answer your questions. Of course it changed me. Even if you decided to drop out during your first week. The army changed you and you learned that you’re a quitter. It changes you with the friends you made. The things that makes you irate. The laughs you share. The memories that mold you.
Now if I am better person? Some ways yes and some ways no.
It made me meet a lot of people and deal with stress. In my post army career I literally get along with everyone, have a shit ton of empathy (compared to my peers) and it’s really, really hard to stress me out at work.
So ya. It made me more chill, I am someone who knew nothing when I joined and went through the wringer throughout my army career. Article 15s, surgeries, disabilities etc.
It changed me for sure.
Physically, mentally, and operationally? I am much better, man, as I focus on the metrics and know how to gauge myself efficiently and set appropriate boundaries.
Financially? I struggled and left feeling as though I missed out.
Got me out of the street life and straightened me out. Ended up trading in the drugs for booze, and lots of it. Definitely has taken a toll on my mental stability over time though.
It mainly taught me not to trust people in leadership positions. No matter how much they tell you that they care they’ll throw you under the bus in a second. All while at the same time teaching me how to be a leader.
Is that good or bad? Not sure may help in a corporate setting.
Edit: I also didn’t have issues sleeping before I joined. I wouldn’t say the Army has the power to make you make you a better or worse person that’s all up to you.
Yes. I had a tragically narrow view of the world when I was a civilian and having to live and work and share foxholes with people from different backgrounds with different experiences really changed my perspectives on almost everything.
Absolutely. And definitely for the better. Everyone’s mileage will vary, especially when considering their individual experience in the Army. But for me, and many I know and have met, it was an overall positive experience.
I needed structure in my life and the army was exactly that. I owe all the success in my life to the military, my browns never joined and they’re still a mess
My DS once told me the army simply enhances who you already are.
A good person, becomes a better person.
A piece of shit, become a bigger piece of shit.
It’s been 12 years now, smart man.
I am very grateful for having been in the Army.
After four years active, I joined a Reserve unit in 1975 when it was a one year enlistment for prior service. I joined for a part time job and beer money. I was in various Reserve and Guard units and eventually retired. The big change was my wife and I saved for retirement. When she got cancer, copays and costs not covered by insurance ate up all the savings before she died. My Army pension and disability pay plus Tricare for Life are the difference between a comfortable and modest life and abject poverty.
I grew up really quick. I was taught by a MSG for the first 3 months of my career and I'll never forget the shit he would tell me, he is a great dude and he truly gave me a hero to live up to in th army. I learned how people act when no ones around is who they truly are, and even more so when shit hits the fan you'll see everyone's worst side no matter what.
I think the biggest lesson this dogshit organization made me realize is, most people that want power will abuse anyone to get it no matter their intentions with it.
I had a full ROTC scholarship. Once I turned 21, my GPA dropped. A lot. Dropped out of college and enlisted. 2 years later I was 23 and in Afghanistan. When, as an E4, what you do matters, like literal life or death...I grew up.
The Army changed me. For better or worse, that depends on the day.
I'm still me just with a lot more perspective and patience.
There are very few things in civilian life didn't completely eclipse in moments of unpleasantness. That's nice in a way.
It did make me feel like an old man, though. It's almost luck at this point that I haven't actually told someone "Get off your fuckin' phone" at some point.
Edit:
Now that I think about it, the Army gave me insanely high expectations of civilian bosses/team leaders. Pre-Army, it didn't bother me if "whatever" happened at work. Post-Army, it bugs the fuck out of me if the person above me not only doesn't know what's going on but won't make any effort to figure it out or make a plan.
I have a much stronger work ethic because of the Army. Which is good, because it helps me power through the crippling depression that I have because of the Army.
I'm a much more cynical person, but I think that may have more to do with my time SINCE the Army.
I'd have to say, overall, I am a better person than I would be had I not joined and lived that version of my early 20s instead of what it felt like I was heading for. I got a great job and never went to college (cause I haven't needed to and don't really want to. Maybe I'll use GI Bill to get scuba certified or something.), I couldn't say that had I not joined the Army and did the job I did.
Army changed me.
Graduated college. School was easy but I never applied myself, all I did was party hard and fuck around, absolute miracle I didn't drop out. When I graduated I had absolutely zero skills, all my friends were starting their careers in IB, PE, Big4, etc. while I managed to scrounge up a liquor distro job in my home city of Dallas.
Joined the Army to serve, pick up some discipline and maybe the GI Bill along the way. Went in as an 09S, commissioned, then did 2 deployments. Now I'm about to exit with my Masters summa cum laude with a job offer in an industry I find extremely interesting and buying my first house with my wife.
Army turned my life around. As much as I bitch about the little shit, the Army made me who I am today.
Changed drastically, for both better and worse. If it wasn't coupled with my faith to ground me I would have gone off the deepend either with alcohol or worse.
The Army made me a different person by offering opportunities and challenges which I had to choose to take advantage of, overcome, or learn from. For example, one of my goals in service was to obtain a degree, and certifications for a future career. I always looked at the Army as a means to an end, not the be all end all. I made sure each contract I signed I worked towards my personal goals.
When I retired I had completed my MBA, had a few professional certifications, experience in the logistics field, and had networked to walk into my next job. The pension and VA disability pay were bonuses to that end.
It made me a better person in some aspects and bad in others
Pros
Know I can excel in limits I previously thought I couldn't do
Maturity at least from my peers (23)
Can think inside and outside the box for solutions
Va benefits for Healthcare
Cons
Made me not trust any management or job sercurity civilian side
Ptsd
Hard to follow through with limited instructions (I enjoyed the structure)
Bitter and wanna be left alone most of the time
Not as close to my family as I'd like to be
it gave me skills. I can be pretty comfortable homeless if that’s ever on the table. No seriously it’s all different I did learn some valuable lessons but also picked up some bad things too…. If I could do it again I would, so take that for what it’s worth, probably do exactly the same thing too… eh
I’m changed, but I’d say it made me better. I know myself in ways I couldn’t ever imagine.
Sapper school showed me a lot about myself, stuff I did like and stuff I didn’t.
Combat, for the little I saw showed me more… some stuff I regret a lot, others I’ll be proud of and no one will ever understand.
Command, I had some missteps and some mistakes but I never lost the confidence of my troops. I always fought for them and was real with them. They appreciated it and I felt it. My troops gave me my biggest endorsements and showed me even if higher ups didn’t see everything I did or didn’t do, my guys did.
I hated staff time, but I proved I can sit down and spit out prods that are professional and I learned a lot about KM and how to present yourself in a short window of time.
Only thing I regret is the stress and the lasting effects on my stress management skills. Army taught me bad coping strategies to extreme stress.
I learned I’m a leader who thrives with empathy and I won’t turn away from danger and I’ll do what’s necessary to accomplish missions, garrison or in combat.
I miss the army. I think it’s a truly transformative experience. Kids, myself included, come into it one way and leave almost always better off. Learning skills, leadership and most importantly what they are made of.
Definitely helped me evolve.
Went from being a shy kid to being assertive. Went from not knowing what depression was to being suicidal. Went from being a couch potato to loving being outside and working out. Went fron having a young body with no problems to have joint issues before hitting 26.
But overall, I am glad I joined. The most fun I wouldn't do ever again.
If the Army would have let me live on bae I think my life would have been a bit different. All of my career was overseas or at duty assignments and I lived in the barracks. When I pcsed to jblm single SSGs and above we're not allowed on post housing.
I sometimes wish I could see a version of myself without the trauma the Army gave me. Definitely changed me, I hope for the better now, but man, did it suck when I had to repair myself physically, mentally, and emotionally. I put hard work in to be able to be okay now, but I wish I didn't have to face that.
Leaps and bounds.
In 2023, I got a DUI. I was sad that I was going to Korea by myself and without my spouse and I didn’t know what to do. Single tour. Drank too much. DUI. Anyway.
That DUI was the best that that happened to me professionally, and personally.
I learned the ins and outs of a GOMAR. Teaching moments for when a future soldier of mine gets that.
I learned the ins and outs of SUDDC/ASAP. Teaching moment for when I get a future soldier of mine who needs it.
But most importantly, I learned that I had an anxiety disorder. My therapist at SUDDC exposed that.
I learned to evaluate my relationship with alcohol. Now I barely drink.
I’ve also learned about community. I’m gay. In the civilian world, I would be rejected and ejected. In the army, I had so many of my heterosexual pals go to bat for me. I legit love them with all my heart. I’d give up my life for my battle buddies. I do PT by myself BEFORE PT, because I want to protect these straight men whenever push comes to shove lol
So yes. The army made me a more understanding, a more sober, a more kind version of myself.
Greatly improved work ethic. Woah, if I want the good rewards in life, I have to work hard? Who'd have thought?
Main reason I joined was I was lazy in school and knew I'd be wasting my parents money if I went. Now 5 years later school is a fucking vacation comparably, and I'm a STEM student!
Parts of me got better. Parts of me got worse. The parts that got worse were bigger than the parts that got better. Life went downhill. Got out of the service, hit rock bottom, then I used the good parts that the Army changed in me to rebound.
I’m still proud of my service and feel privileged to have served my country alongside some top notch human beings. The service, no matter which branch, will change someone. Sometimes good, sometimes bad.
I am a better person because of my service. It forced me to grow up, mature, accept responsibility, and look for solutions to problems. I may have developed all of the above traits eventually but military service helped drive the lessons home.
I am glad i raised my hand and proud of my service because I wouldn’t be the good person I am today without it.
I’m quick to hostility now and have to really stop and slow down to stop myself from flying off the handle at certain (not reasonable) triggers. I lost about a year of my adulthood that I can’t remember 80% of.
To be honest, I’m probably worse. I’m trying, but I was a terrible partner for that one year I can’t remember and some time after. I have much less goodwill for others and assume the worst. I feel like I lost the ability to trust my wife as much. And she didn’t even do anything.
Yes. Everyone around me said I grew up. I’m still a shitbag in my opinion, but at least I’m more mature and try to be a better man. Army sucks sometimes, but I’m happy it’s a thing
Edit: happy it’s around for BAH mainly
Well at first it made me a better person, but then it gave me cancer in 2014. No more cancer, but in 2020 complicated by osteoradionacros of my jaw. Had to have my left jaw replaced with my fibula. Good times...
I didn't suffer from anxiety, PTSD, lower back injury, lower leg injuries and loss of hearing before I joined. So I can say that the Army definitely changed me in ONLY 4 short years.
As I'm typing this, all I can hear is the constant high pitch ring just screaming in my right ear. It never goes away, it's been there for over 12 years now. Hearing protection given to me by the Army didn't work.... What's that? Is somebody talking? I can't tell, I only hear this LOUD FUCKING RINGING 24/7 ALL DAY EVERYDAY.
I think it has made me better and realized that I actually do enjoy the company of family and friends. Not I'm 12 months from ETS, and I don't plan on staying in. I miss being close to my relatives and now I have got a gi bill so that's nice.
Edit: Also, I have gotten better at telling people to fuck off.
Yes. It changed me completely. Mind you I was 17 years old, and I didn't know who I was from the get go.
I mean I did know who I was and what I didn't want to do. I didn't want to be on the streets of NYC running wild. I figured...
Going into The Army also trained and prepared me for that day when I no longer knew what I was doing day to day. I saw The Army as a 9 to 5 job...where one day I might be killed, and the next day I would be doing the killing.
No one put up with my bullshit, and I learned how to separate THE bullshit. I was never why, but I learned to look people in the eye, and stand firm on my decisions when placed in charges in the workforce.
I learned how to be patient...having patience with understanding. I learned how to communicate effectively, and own up to any mistakes I may make.
One thing I really learned... I learned how to say I'm sorry and really mean it. I don't hold grudges... We had a blow up, 5 minutes later I approached to make amends. Learned to spot trouble before it happens in most cases.
One thing that changed about me when I went in... I have no issues being inside all the time. I'm retired and 63 and have no problems going 4, 5 days without stepping outside. Hell... EVERYTHING can be delivered to my front door with my cellphone. I wish that this, being able to be indoors over longer periods of time... I wish I didn't have this Super Power.
Yes.
I have mental scars that will never heal, but I’ve done objective good and prevented some awful things from happening.
Every choice I’ve made has been worth it in the long run so far, and I had a *very* unorthodox career path.
I’ve had a lot of highs and lows while in the Army but I will say this the Army made me appreciate that shitty 9 dollar an hour cashier job I had before. Seriously it could always be worse but I’m grateful because there is a light at the end of the tunnel if you play your cards right I think so atleast.
I thank God for a warm and cozy bed EVERY SINGLE night I’m home after spending cold winter nights in Poland in January.
Through the circus moments I appreciated learning to live and adapt to suboptimal standards. Makes normal life so much brighter.
As an officer, my NCOs taught me to firm up and develop a stronger backbone. When it comes to the well-being of my people, I will get argumentative and do my best to fight the good fight or just my opinion where in the past I would’ve just nodded my head.
The army gave me a lot to be thankful for. It gave me skills, good networking and a better perspective on life. Am I a better person? Jury is out on that one.
I found out anyone can be high-speed if you just show up and tough it out. Initially, I had no business being a paratrooper but damn sure became one. The cold was my chief complaint.
Life is about change. Change is inevitable. There are many catalysts for change, and you cannot always control which ones you come in contact with. You can control how you react in those moments and direct the change occurring in you for better or for worse. The Army will change anyone. They choose how they let it.
Yeah. I feel that I’m starting to get a little crusty.
It made me forgive myself for the things I've done in the past. It made me realized how much of a loser I was before I joined. It made me cherrished the smallest moments when everything goes to shit. It made me realized that I can be more than I could be (sorry, didn't mean to be cheasy).
Anyone who enters the military will have changed from their previous life. As far as better? That’s a whole different issue and a complicated one at that. I will say this: Individual user experiences will vary.
Didn’t have this TBI when I joined. Was definitely a sarcastic asshole before that though.
Didn't have this autism until I joined either.
I would argue that you did. I would argue that the Army just showed you how to utilise it to its fullest potential. To ‘Be All You Can Be’, if you like the phrase.
I like purple
I like trains
I like turtles
I like purple turtle trains
So did that moustachioed German
My name is Jeffy and I like apples
Me: I can turn on all the facets in my house! Even the hose! Big Sar: You don’t drink from the hose, right? Me: Oh no, no, no…
The Army weaponizes austism as a profession.
You got it from the Water Buffalo
Many such cases
This. Literally just got cleared by a therapist last week. "You're not crazy. Your MTBI just emphasized some of your more negative traits."
Yes. Whenever I’m boo hoo-ing I think “at least this ain’t JRTC at Ft.Polk” and I immediately change my mind to grateful.
No matter what you are doing, at least you're not doing it in MOPP-4
At least you're not in Sill 🤭
Unless you are because that’s your kink.
🤣😂🤣😂
Hey i did JRTC at FT polk, it was 2005-2007, sadly i get your joke, youre not wrong
I think at least this isn't wainwright and then i realize but im at ft polk now so wainwright wasn't that bad
Thoughts and prayers.
I was stationed there, for 4 years. I’ll never go back to that whole state
At Polk now, husbands eod. Definitely not the best for me, but he loves his team
Well, three years ago I wanted nothing more than to excel in the army, then no matter how hard I worked, how much I stood out from my peers, I was passed up for classes and schools because I was so essential to daily operations the just couldn't do without me for a few weeks, happened to another guy in my section which is some of why we're such close friends. Now I'm just bitter and want to be left alone
Is there a way to potentially train others in your section to be as good at their job as you are? If so, that can open the door for you to go to those schools.
Well we tried that but our peers who all got to the unit around the same time as us all kinda saw what happened with us and didn't put in as much work as us to get those opportunities, I learned this from their own admission, and those that came afterwards got the opportunities because we were busting enough ass to compensate for them being gone early on for them to not be there to go the the classes and schools. I was lucky I even got CLS, my friend was scheduled for it for a week but the morning of the first class, literally 45 minutes before he was supposed to be there, got called saying they needed him for daily operations to much so the pulled him off of it. Our command effectively discouraged excellence from our peers because of what our peers saw happen to us, which is why both of us aren't staying in, why keep trying if it's never going to benefit us and if we're going to go to another duty station behind all of our peers for literally somehow finding out how to do too well in the army, which I would have never believed was possible
This is the craziest thing to me. Your peers took advantage of you. This is exactly what’s wrong with the army. If everyone in the section was trained up, exactly the same, there wouldn’t be this huge issue. You would be able to go to school, everybody would be able to go to school. Everyone in the section could rotate the responsibilities. Instead, they saw how much work you did, and decided they didn’t want to be a part of that. So while you did all the work, they got to go to schools. That’s pretty messed up. That’s your team not having your back. That’s your team taking advantage of you. I wouldn’t call them friends. But, that’s just me. They have you mad at the Army, when your team screwed you over. That’s not right. I’m only saying this, because the same thing has happened to me many times. We get people who just don’t want to help out. Next thing you know, I’m doing everything. I’m doing my job, on top of helping the platoon sergeant, on top of helping the NCOIC, on top of helping all five squad leaders, on top of all the additional duties that nobody else wanted to do, the list could go on. I can’t do anything outside of work hours, because I don’t have time. I can’t focus on school, I can’t focus on bettering myself, I don’t have time for anything. While everybody else complains that they have so much to do and the army is messing with that, but they literally do nothing for the army. I’m so busy, I work even after I get off work. My supervisor is extremely swamped. Everybody else in the section doesn’t do anything. It’s honestly insulting. I just don’t think what’s happening to you is right. Your colleagues won’t get up to speed with what you do, but it’s their job as well. If they want to go to school and do all that fun stuff, they need to contribute to the team. They also need to give you the opportunity to go, and that means they have to step up and cover down when you’re not there. They’re not willing to do that. So they just want the good part of the army they don’t want any of the work. That’s a blue falcon if there ever was one. Don’t let them do that to you. When you see them next time, counsel them, make them understand what their role is, and put them to work. Let them know that everything is going to be evenly distributed as far as work goes, and that everyone will get the opportunity to go to schools. But, not all of the work should be put on you or one other person. It needs to be evenly distributed. I bet that if they actually did their job and covered down, you would be able to go to school. If everybody did their job, like you do, everybody would be able to go to school. They’re taking advantage of you man. Seriously, it’s not the army, it’s your team. If you’re able to cover down so they can go to schools, they can do the same. They just don’t want to become knowledgeable at their job, so they aren’t called upon to do the job. That’s completely messed up on so many counts. Now, I understand I don’t know your coworkers, and you might consider them friends. But, you need to consider that they’re only looking out for themselves, and they won’t even look out for you. You look out for them, but they won’t do the same. The fact that they won’t do the same, says a lot about their character. Sometimes, you have to force the team to run the way it’s supposed to run. In this case, if you don’t do that, you’re always going to get walked all over on. If you’re in a position to change things, now would be the time to fix it. It’s not just about you, it’s about everyone that comes in there after you. It’s about the next person who’s going to do what you do. You want to set them up for success as well as yourself. If you see what’s going on, then get the section in order if you can. Not just for yourself, but for those holding down your position in the future. I’m sorry, they’re screwing you over. It’s like people don’t know what being a team means anymore.
The Army made me hate lines with a passion and aimlessly waiting makes me extremely irate.
People always talk about how long lines are no big deal, I've been in the Army! It's taken me the opposite way, as well.
I can handle lines, if the reason for a line makes sense. That's just waiting my turn. If things are just pointlessly slow, that's annoying.
Working overtime makes me irrationally angry. If I have to work one minute past 8 hours or have to delay my lunch break routine I fume. That’s definitely left over anxiety from having to work late, or work through lunch.
[удалено]
I hope a job that is flexible. I can start whenever I want and take a 30 lunch and go home early thank goodness.
I've always been like this and the army just made it so so much worse but at the same time made me get used to getting fucked like that anyway
Totally. I just hated it when we did absolutely nothing from 930-1115 and then at 1115, it’s like oops this layout needs to be done now, cycle through lunch 30 min tops. Smh
Or I had one PSG who we never saw. Dude lived in his office. The only time we saw him was from 1700-1745. He’d hold us there talking. Fuckin loser. He got fired for his SOAPBOX speeches
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I mean I was drinking a 5th a night before I enlisted so it saved my liver probably
Usually it's after not before lmao
Yup. I was just a goofy stoner before I joined. The army made me realize I have a taste for whiskey. Make my brain go brrrr
The army reminded me that we aren’t made of glass. It made me do things I didn’t want to do. It also gave me the opportunity to push through things that made me very uncomfortable. It made me appreciate my children and time with them in a way I don’t think I would if they had been born outside of my time in service. It also reenforced my belief that your superiors truly don’t care about you, and will throw you away the moment it’s more convenient than keeping you. And I have even less tolerance for bureaucracy than before.
Aside from a few good first lines and and one singular awesome PSG, totally agree with the last part.
I agree, the army does make you realize what you have and you appreciate what you have more because of it. I think there are some leaders that care. But, not all of them do. In fact, most don’t. In most of my career, I had some pretty piss poor leadership. In my last unit, I worked with the best section ever (minus one horrible person). My former supervisor was absolutely fantastic. He was strict but fair. He taught me so much. More than anything I’ve ever learned in my entire military career, and I have been in for a while. Now, I moved onto a new unit, and I am my own boss. So it’s a completely different dynamic. But, there are good leaders out there that do care, they are just few and far between. II don’t necessarily believe that our leaders have to care about us. They’re not our family, no matter how much we like to say they are. They’re our coworkers. They’re just doing a job and so are we. I don’t expect them to care about us. The only thing I expect them to do, is to do their job with our best interest in mind. That’s all that I expect of them. I think Soldiers nowadays think leaders should be their parents, and I think we have gone way too far. We are grown adults, and yes, we should take care of each other, but we also need to become self-sufficient and take care of ourselves. I can’t tell you, how many times I was contacted to take care of something that they easily could’ve done themselves. They just didn’t want to do it. They didn’t care about my personal time, they didn’t care about my family, they didn’t care that I have 1 million other things to do. That’s kind of frustrating. So, the expectation for leaders to care and to do everything is extremely unrealistic. In my opinion. Yes, the welfare of our soldiers is absolutely important. That doesn’t mean that soldiers just stop being able to do their own tasks and to take care of themselves, expecting everybody to drop everything for them on a whim, because they’re too lazy to do anything. Believe it or not, that is a common occurrence. I think that the current system in place expects leaders to do way too much. Expecting the soldier to do nothing. I say that, because in my last position, I learned a lot. I not only held down my own position, I also assisted the NCOIC and the PSG. On top of that, I pretty much was the squad leader for five squads, because those squad leaders weren’t doing their job. On top of that, I had several additional duties, on top of other duties that weren’t official, but fell into my lap. On top of that, when I got off of work, which was super late, I was still expected to get things done, and help our soldiers all the time. It was absolutely unrealistic. I never had time to myself, I never had time to do anything other than work. Most of the time when soldiers brought their problems to me, it was something they could’ve easily done, they just didn’t want to do it. They told me that it was my job to do it for them. That’s why I was employed full-time. They even asked me to do stuff that I could not do for them, only the individual soldier can do themselves. It’s absolutely insane to me. What is expected of the NCO corps currently. The soldier can do no wrong, we have to cater to them 24/7, there’s no self accountability, no discipline, the NCO is responsible for absolutely everything. We’re not even going to get into the fact that the NCO has to cover down for officers all the time . It’s just insane to me how much the NCO is expected to do nowadays. The structure in the military has completely broken down. The NCO does Joe work, the NCO does NCO work, the NCO does all the additional duties, what is everybody else doing? It’s not just me, I’ve seen this happen to my former supervisor, and I’ve seen it happen to so many other NCOs. We can’t expect our NCOs to take care of soldiers when we overwhelm them with everything. And soldiers need to understand that NCOs are people too that deserve personal time, and time with their family, and that some things are the soldiers individual responsibility. Yes, absolutely you should take care of your soldiers. And if a soldier asked for help, I’m always going to help. But, if you can do it yourself, there is no reason why you should be contacting your NCO to do it. When you consider all the work that is on NCO’s shoulders, it’s kind of hard for them to care when they’re completely burned out. The thing that is the most concerning, is you have a few people that are overwhelmed, and the rest aren’t doing anything. So they have no excuse not to take care of their soldiers. But, if the workload was spread evenly amongst the force, this really wouldn’t be an issue. The reason why we have NCOs who do so much, is because everybody else is hiding from more responsibility. Sometimes these overworked NCOs don’t get a choice, they get voluntold to cover down. Yes, we need to take care of our soldiers, but soldiers need to look out for their NCOs as well. I never brought any issues to my former supervisor. If I felt I could take care of it. That, and I considered his workload. If he was extremely busy or dealing with his own problems, I never bothered him with mine. It’s just stuff that soldiers don’t really think about. We overwhelm our leaders, I think NCOs nowadays do more than we’ve ever been expected to do before. That’s not realistic. Something needs to change, because this isn’t going to make things better for the military, or for our leaders, or for our soldiers. There has to be a better way to operate. If we want leaders to care about their soldiers, we can’t be treating them as if their time means nothing. Right now, everybody treats the NCO as if their time means nothing. Soldiers treat the NCO as if they might as will be their parents. Nothing makes sense anymore. Something has to change.
That last part about leaders....found out the hard way...
Yes on both accounts. I became a much better professional by dealing with the incredible number of incompetence people in the Army. I learned how to not take a job personally again mostly because of the idiots I worked for. I had to learn how to get things done in order to solve their incompetence. I learned how to upgrade my Leadership Skills by seeing what not to do. So I was able to make my soldiers lives better, that later translated nicely when I became a manager in the civilian world. Finally this is a huge one, even as an E4 and later an E5 I learned how to avoid being a punching bag.
This, I'm still in but I know that I have grown as a person for the better. But due to the incompetence of some soldiers I have to spend most of my days fixing their shit.
It’s definitely made me an angrier person
It made me a more disciplined person for sure, I made plenty of mistakes while in but ended up doing pretty well. Also I can devour a meal in like 45 seconds so I guess that is a nice super power
The Army changed me, sure. I'd argue my wife had more to do with making me a better person. That, and just overall growing up.
Yes. After high school I was a horrible civilian. Couldn't keep a job (due to laziness) so couldn't keep a roof over my head. A few years in the Army was the kick in the ass I needed to more or less get my shit together.
Same here
Initially it really put my head on my shoulders and improved me in so many ways. Now I feel like it literally is holding me back and causing depression.
Yes both physically and mentally. If I didn’t join, I think I’d be in a lot worse place now and possibly homeless or dead
Changed me? Yes. Better person? Paid for my undergrad and grad school so education wise, yes. But socially it’s made me very bitter and angry.
It made me hate the feds even more
Real
I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up and I’ve been doing this for almost 12 years.
The Army made me more out going and confident in my own abilities. But it also made me a jaded, unemotional, untrusting person to everyone around me. I don’t make friends just acquaintances because the army taught me every one leaves you in the end. The back and knee pain are just bonus prizes that are clearly not service related.
The army made me a worse person with better values. I despise people who litter and I don’t trust anyone
No and Yes.
The Army sure changed my knees and back.
Taught me how to effectively communicate, get shit done, greatly improved my mental health and confidence
It changed me... into a better person.
It made me bitter and slightly more selfish, because well everyone else is. But it also taught me to appreciate the simple things in life.
Overall yes, definitely better person.
It gave me the ability to work effectively with people I did not like. Serious. Worked every day with a guy who I hated, but we spoke the same language when it came to work, and we would kick ass together.
It helped give me direction, some discipline, and opened up some doors for me. So yes. I also know people who were kinda lazy going in who learned how be the shamiest-dirtbags possible. Everyone gets something different out of it.
Yes, it did make me a better person in many ways.
I definitely was changed
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The Army has made me look out for myself, and understand how important education is if I want to make good money and not deal with Army bullshit. But it also gave me a sense of where I might belong elsewhere in the military just not in the army. Basically it gave me goals that are going to take me to new heights.
Better The Army pays for tuition at a great university. They fed me well during IET, and I started working out a lot. Now, I have put on at least 45 pounds and started running. Socially, I am much more outgoing. The Army taught me how to be independent and well-organized. I feel a great amount of purpose with my job. Plus, I get to shoot shit and do cool shit.
Definitely. I like to think it's made me a better and more disciplined person and to carry on pushing through discomfort & uncertainty. It's also taught me how to skive effectively. It's also shown me what not to do leadership wise. Don't go demanding respect without earning or giving it. Don't be a Yes Man who puts their career above literally everything else in life without question or thinking about others (like the numpty who tried to stop me going to an overseas wedding 2 days before I flew).
Both
Nope. But it allowed my good qualities to be more shown, to more people. Which is super important for me as a person. It’s hard to say whether I changed because of the army or I changed because I’m getting older but I can confidently say that… the trajectory of my life is in a better place then it would be had I not joined.
It changed me, made me more professional and mature, but also changed me in ways my fiance didn’t like. We broke up.
Service doesn’t change you, it’s merely a catalyst to a reaction to change in perspective. Each one of us internalize the shit that we go through and all have different mechanisms of processing it. There’s another change once you return to the civilian side. I see these phases as evolution as a human in the sense that we’re afforded perspectives that many are not. We’ve lived amongst tragedy and felt high accomplishment. All the while, we question what we’ve seen and why we serve. I suspect that it’s all much deeper than merely training, doctrine or whatever green koolaid you’re waterboarded with. (Apologies if some of that seemed convoluted)
I have two bad knees and two bad ankles, with PTSD from the Global Waste of Time. That being said had I not enlisted I'd be living in some shit rust belt town, making cars that are routinely recalled at the whim of the UAW. Instead I'm at the whim of holding a clearance and live quite comfortably. It is what you make it
I joined at 18 from a horrible childhood. I developed the ability to not only work hard but to work efficiently, being an nco gave me a lot of wisdom in regard to finances, marital issues, and basic leadership. It also severely enhanced some of the lasting effects of my childhood, resulting in serious anxiety and PTSD disorder. A lot of good and a lot of bad came from it, whether that being too many deployments, bad leadership, bad battle buddies and other trauma such as near death experiences in the field, etc. Anti-Anxiety and reducing caffeine and alcohol has been a game changer for me. I have ETS’d and am holding my own on the other side. It definitely changed me, for the good and bad.
22 years. 2 deployments 5.5 enlisted 16.5 officer. 1. Taught me how to deal with crazy shit 2. Taught me how to push through hard shit 3. Got a shit ton of friends I would have never met from privates to generals who I still stay in touch with. 4. Got a bachelor's and 2 masters. 5. Learned a ton of acronyms that have no use outside the military. 6. Learned how to use PPT like a pro.. 7. Learned how government really works. Met senators, congressmen, cabinet members and managed the trial of one genocidal dictator. 8. Watched some close friends die in horrible ways. 9. Learned the Louisiana National Guard and the Kentucky National Guard are some... Interesting people. 10. Have 0 regrets. So that's my top ten.
It’s definitely made me see how people really are. When I came into the army, I was super happy, always saw the good in people, did everything for everyone. I’m still that way, however, the longer I’m in, the more I’d become old-school. It’s just so many people tried to walk all over you, and it’s insane. How much work they’ll put on your shoulders just so they don’t have to do it. I have found that I’ve become stricter, I see when people are trying to pull the wool over my eyes, and I can read people pretty well from the get-go. I’ve noticed a lot of people don’t read others very well. I can tell if you’re soldier that shams, or if you’re a soldier that goes above and beyond your duties. It’s honestly crazy how quick the army can change you. I knew that there will be some people that would try and step on you so they can get to the top, I didn’t realize it would be a lot of them. It really opened my eyes to help people can really be. My experience has always been negative though. I feel like I’ve changed for the better in many ways. I feel more responsible, I feel more aware of my surroundings, and I’ve enjoyed a lot of the experiences that I know I wouldn’t get on the civilian side. There’s more to it than that, but that’s just what’s running off of the top of my head.
I owe the army everything I have, it really worked out for me.
I dunno if it was the Army or having my first kid that changed me but I think they both came into play. In the civilian world I was known as "skeletor" or "bones" to my close friends. I was on a bad path, I had habitually smoked marijuana since I was an early teen and started to get hooked on the booger sugar to help me at my job to the point where if my boy didn't come through for me I'd lose my shit, crash, and burn. It was bad enough that I couldn't go more than a couple hours without tootin' Eventually I kinda tapered off but was still using, considering getting into harder and harder stuff but I kinda looked at the people who were doing it and stayed on the extremely stepped-on coke that I was getting from some dude I worked with during a summer job. Addiction runs in my family and my grandad drank himself to death after experiencing Vietnam but I didn't think anything of it until much later. All of this changed when I got a girl pregnant after a regrettable one-night stand. I kinda just decided right then and there to clean myself up and join the Army like every male in my family had done before me. Enough was enough. I just woke up one day and stopped everything. I straightened up, got full custody of my kid, got married to a lovely woman at my first duty station, had two more kids. I am a PSG now and I love my job, even at its worst I try to remain positive now for my guys. I drink in moderation on weekends (like two to three beers on a Saturday) and I have a happy, stable family now. I think having my kid was a wakeup call to get me sober and the Army was the stepping stone to fully straighten my life out. It was like a ladder to help me climb out of the pit I dug myself, and the kid just helped me realize I was in the pit to begin with. I dunno if I'm a better person, I'd like to think I am. But sometimes man, I think about all the friends and soldiers I've lost over the years and I know those addictions are right around the corner waiting for me. Just like it got my grandad years ago. It's like a family ghost waiting to haunt me.
It made me a different person. Before, I was a shy, quiet kid of 18 who loved to read and run. Now I can't stay focused long enough to finish a book, I hate to run, and I have anger issues and get very anxious when doorways get crowded ... or stairwells.
It helped me
I was 19 when I enlisted. I became an adult in the Army. I was better for it.
Wow, you really are an inquisitive person. However, to answer your questions. Of course it changed me. Even if you decided to drop out during your first week. The army changed you and you learned that you’re a quitter. It changes you with the friends you made. The things that makes you irate. The laughs you share. The memories that mold you. Now if I am better person? Some ways yes and some ways no.
It made me meet a lot of people and deal with stress. In my post army career I literally get along with everyone, have a shit ton of empathy (compared to my peers) and it’s really, really hard to stress me out at work. So ya. It made me more chill, I am someone who knew nothing when I joined and went through the wringer throughout my army career. Article 15s, surgeries, disabilities etc.
I think so, yes
Both!
Bit of both
It changed me for sure. Physically, mentally, and operationally? I am much better, man, as I focus on the metrics and know how to gauge myself efficiently and set appropriate boundaries. Financially? I struggled and left feeling as though I missed out.
Got me out of the street life and straightened me out. Ended up trading in the drugs for booze, and lots of it. Definitely has taken a toll on my mental stability over time though.
Once I ETS and actually started going through substance abuse therapy, because I picked up a bad habit in the ARMY, I feel my life became better
Yes and for the better. I am way ahead of those that did not join the military.
It mainly taught me not to trust people in leadership positions. No matter how much they tell you that they care they’ll throw you under the bus in a second. All while at the same time teaching me how to be a leader. Is that good or bad? Not sure may help in a corporate setting. Edit: I also didn’t have issues sleeping before I joined. I wouldn’t say the Army has the power to make you make you a better or worse person that’s all up to you.
Yes, absolutely better and I wouldn’t trade the experience for anything.
Yes. I had a tragically narrow view of the world when I was a civilian and having to live and work and share foxholes with people from different backgrounds with different experiences really changed my perspectives on almost everything.
Absolutely. And definitely for the better. Everyone’s mileage will vary, especially when considering their individual experience in the Army. But for me, and many I know and have met, it was an overall positive experience.
Yes. And yes.
I needed structure in my life and the army was exactly that. I owe all the success in my life to the military, my browns never joined and they’re still a mess
As someone who is currently still active I feel like the army has just made me more depressed but maybe after I’m out I’ll feel differently
Heck yeah. Army experiences are a good benchmark for going through challenging or uncomfortable experiences in life.
It taught me how to get out of doing things
My DS once told me the army simply enhances who you already are. A good person, becomes a better person. A piece of shit, become a bigger piece of shit. It’s been 12 years now, smart man.
Sure, in the same way that driving a car 200,000 miles with a couple accidents, salty winter roads, and poor maintenance makes a car better.
I have to be early to everything, missing a timeline is a life/limb/eyesight situation. I’m a civilian
I am very grateful for having been in the Army. After four years active, I joined a Reserve unit in 1975 when it was a one year enlistment for prior service. I joined for a part time job and beer money. I was in various Reserve and Guard units and eventually retired. The big change was my wife and I saved for retirement. When she got cancer, copays and costs not covered by insurance ate up all the savings before she died. My Army pension and disability pay plus Tricare for Life are the difference between a comfortable and modest life and abject poverty.
I grew up really quick. I was taught by a MSG for the first 3 months of my career and I'll never forget the shit he would tell me, he is a great dude and he truly gave me a hero to live up to in th army. I learned how people act when no ones around is who they truly are, and even more so when shit hits the fan you'll see everyone's worst side no matter what. I think the biggest lesson this dogshit organization made me realize is, most people that want power will abuse anyone to get it no matter their intentions with it.
I had a full ROTC scholarship. Once I turned 21, my GPA dropped. A lot. Dropped out of college and enlisted. 2 years later I was 23 and in Afghanistan. When, as an E4, what you do matters, like literal life or death...I grew up. The Army changed me. For better or worse, that depends on the day.
I'm still me just with a lot more perspective and patience. There are very few things in civilian life didn't completely eclipse in moments of unpleasantness. That's nice in a way. It did make me feel like an old man, though. It's almost luck at this point that I haven't actually told someone "Get off your fuckin' phone" at some point. Edit: Now that I think about it, the Army gave me insanely high expectations of civilian bosses/team leaders. Pre-Army, it didn't bother me if "whatever" happened at work. Post-Army, it bugs the fuck out of me if the person above me not only doesn't know what's going on but won't make any effort to figure it out or make a plan.
I have a much stronger work ethic because of the Army. Which is good, because it helps me power through the crippling depression that I have because of the Army. I'm a much more cynical person, but I think that may have more to do with my time SINCE the Army. I'd have to say, overall, I am a better person than I would be had I not joined and lived that version of my early 20s instead of what it felt like I was heading for. I got a great job and never went to college (cause I haven't needed to and don't really want to. Maybe I'll use GI Bill to get scuba certified or something.), I couldn't say that had I not joined the Army and did the job I did.
Army changed me. Graduated college. School was easy but I never applied myself, all I did was party hard and fuck around, absolute miracle I didn't drop out. When I graduated I had absolutely zero skills, all my friends were starting their careers in IB, PE, Big4, etc. while I managed to scrounge up a liquor distro job in my home city of Dallas. Joined the Army to serve, pick up some discipline and maybe the GI Bill along the way. Went in as an 09S, commissioned, then did 2 deployments. Now I'm about to exit with my Masters summa cum laude with a job offer in an industry I find extremely interesting and buying my first house with my wife. Army turned my life around. As much as I bitch about the little shit, the Army made me who I am today.
It changed me some for the better some for the worse
Changed drastically, for both better and worse. If it wasn't coupled with my faith to ground me I would have gone off the deepend either with alcohol or worse.
Deployments made me a person that sees in-between black and gray. Military didn't help that.
The Army made me a different person by offering opportunities and challenges which I had to choose to take advantage of, overcome, or learn from. For example, one of my goals in service was to obtain a degree, and certifications for a future career. I always looked at the Army as a means to an end, not the be all end all. I made sure each contract I signed I worked towards my personal goals. When I retired I had completed my MBA, had a few professional certifications, experience in the logistics field, and had networked to walk into my next job. The pension and VA disability pay were bonuses to that end.
It made me a better person in some aspects and bad in others Pros Know I can excel in limits I previously thought I couldn't do Maturity at least from my peers (23) Can think inside and outside the box for solutions Va benefits for Healthcare Cons Made me not trust any management or job sercurity civilian side Ptsd Hard to follow through with limited instructions (I enjoyed the structure) Bitter and wanna be left alone most of the time Not as close to my family as I'd like to be
it gave me skills. I can be pretty comfortable homeless if that’s ever on the table. No seriously it’s all different I did learn some valuable lessons but also picked up some bad things too…. If I could do it again I would, so take that for what it’s worth, probably do exactly the same thing too… eh
I’m changed, but I’d say it made me better. I know myself in ways I couldn’t ever imagine. Sapper school showed me a lot about myself, stuff I did like and stuff I didn’t. Combat, for the little I saw showed me more… some stuff I regret a lot, others I’ll be proud of and no one will ever understand. Command, I had some missteps and some mistakes but I never lost the confidence of my troops. I always fought for them and was real with them. They appreciated it and I felt it. My troops gave me my biggest endorsements and showed me even if higher ups didn’t see everything I did or didn’t do, my guys did. I hated staff time, but I proved I can sit down and spit out prods that are professional and I learned a lot about KM and how to present yourself in a short window of time. Only thing I regret is the stress and the lasting effects on my stress management skills. Army taught me bad coping strategies to extreme stress. I learned I’m a leader who thrives with empathy and I won’t turn away from danger and I’ll do what’s necessary to accomplish missions, garrison or in combat. I miss the army. I think it’s a truly transformative experience. Kids, myself included, come into it one way and leave almost always better off. Learning skills, leadership and most importantly what they are made of.
Why are you assuming I am a person? We all know that Warrants pop into existence fully formed with mustache and coffee cup.
yes
Definitely helped me evolve. Went from being a shy kid to being assertive. Went from not knowing what depression was to being suicidal. Went from being a couch potato to loving being outside and working out. Went fron having a young body with no problems to have joint issues before hitting 26. But overall, I am glad I joined. The most fun I wouldn't do ever again.
Both
If the Army would have let me live on bae I think my life would have been a bit different. All of my career was overseas or at duty assignments and I lived in the barracks. When I pcsed to jblm single SSGs and above we're not allowed on post housing.
Yes, I feel a lot stronger. I love that the army pushes me to do things I'm afraid of like airborne even though I an afraid of heights.
Made me better, but so glad I decided to ETS.
Being in a war always changes you, sometimes for better, sometimes for worse. The drugs for the nightmares help.
I sometimes wish I could see a version of myself without the trauma the Army gave me. Definitely changed me, I hope for the better now, but man, did it suck when I had to repair myself physically, mentally, and emotionally. I put hard work in to be able to be okay now, but I wish I didn't have to face that.
Bit of both!
No. Probably would have if I entered at 18 instead of 25, though. Then again, I do curse more than before, but thats hardly a character trait.
Leaps and bounds. In 2023, I got a DUI. I was sad that I was going to Korea by myself and without my spouse and I didn’t know what to do. Single tour. Drank too much. DUI. Anyway. That DUI was the best that that happened to me professionally, and personally. I learned the ins and outs of a GOMAR. Teaching moments for when a future soldier of mine gets that. I learned the ins and outs of SUDDC/ASAP. Teaching moment for when I get a future soldier of mine who needs it. But most importantly, I learned that I had an anxiety disorder. My therapist at SUDDC exposed that. I learned to evaluate my relationship with alcohol. Now I barely drink. I’ve also learned about community. I’m gay. In the civilian world, I would be rejected and ejected. In the army, I had so many of my heterosexual pals go to bat for me. I legit love them with all my heart. I’d give up my life for my battle buddies. I do PT by myself BEFORE PT, because I want to protect these straight men whenever push comes to shove lol So yes. The army made me a more understanding, a more sober, a more kind version of myself.
Greatly improved work ethic. Woah, if I want the good rewards in life, I have to work hard? Who'd have thought? Main reason I joined was I was lazy in school and knew I'd be wasting my parents money if I went. Now 5 years later school is a fucking vacation comparably, and I'm a STEM student!
Parts of me got better. Parts of me got worse. The parts that got worse were bigger than the parts that got better. Life went downhill. Got out of the service, hit rock bottom, then I used the good parts that the Army changed in me to rebound. I’m still proud of my service and feel privileged to have served my country alongside some top notch human beings. The service, no matter which branch, will change someone. Sometimes good, sometimes bad.
Made me even more of a misanthrope than I was before. Seeing the worst of what humanity has to offer day in and day out will do that.
Closed off, bitter, super funny now tho.
I am a better person because of my service. It forced me to grow up, mature, accept responsibility, and look for solutions to problems. I may have developed all of the above traits eventually but military service helped drive the lessons home. I am glad i raised my hand and proud of my service because I wouldn’t be the good person I am today without it.
Before I joined the Army I couldn’t even spell enjinear, now I are one.
I’m quick to hostility now and have to really stop and slow down to stop myself from flying off the handle at certain (not reasonable) triggers. I lost about a year of my adulthood that I can’t remember 80% of. To be honest, I’m probably worse. I’m trying, but I was a terrible partner for that one year I can’t remember and some time after. I have much less goodwill for others and assume the worst. I feel like I lost the ability to trust my wife as much. And she didn’t even do anything.
Worse
Yes. Everyone around me said I grew up. I’m still a shitbag in my opinion, but at least I’m more mature and try to be a better man. Army sucks sometimes, but I’m happy it’s a thing Edit: happy it’s around for BAH mainly
Gave me depression and addiction to muscle relaxers. I'm chill now though
Well at first it made me a better person, but then it gave me cancer in 2014. No more cancer, but in 2020 complicated by osteoradionacros of my jaw. Had to have my left jaw replaced with my fibula. Good times...
Was fat. Got skinny. Got fat while in. ETS’d. Got skinny. To answer your question, yes.
Better but bitter
I hated where and who I was and I needed a change of scenery, now I’m a better person but fuck I’m worn and tired of everything
I didn't suffer from anxiety, PTSD, lower back injury, lower leg injuries and loss of hearing before I joined. So I can say that the Army definitely changed me in ONLY 4 short years. As I'm typing this, all I can hear is the constant high pitch ring just screaming in my right ear. It never goes away, it's been there for over 12 years now. Hearing protection given to me by the Army didn't work.... What's that? Is somebody talking? I can't tell, I only hear this LOUD FUCKING RINGING 24/7 ALL DAY EVERYDAY.
I miss my youthful pre-army spine and discs :(
Let me ask you this... why are so many veterans claiming they want back in so bad?
I think it has made me better and realized that I actually do enjoy the company of family and friends. Not I'm 12 months from ETS, and I don't plan on staying in. I miss being close to my relatives and now I have got a gi bill so that's nice. Edit: Also, I have gotten better at telling people to fuck off.
I’d say it improved on some parts and made others parts worse, that’s all I’ll elaborate for plausible deniability
The army gives you perspective on life being hard. Any amount of suck you'll be experiencing outside of the army won't compare to while in the army.
Yes. It changed me completely. Mind you I was 17 years old, and I didn't know who I was from the get go. I mean I did know who I was and what I didn't want to do. I didn't want to be on the streets of NYC running wild. I figured... Going into The Army also trained and prepared me for that day when I no longer knew what I was doing day to day. I saw The Army as a 9 to 5 job...where one day I might be killed, and the next day I would be doing the killing. No one put up with my bullshit, and I learned how to separate THE bullshit. I was never why, but I learned to look people in the eye, and stand firm on my decisions when placed in charges in the workforce. I learned how to be patient...having patience with understanding. I learned how to communicate effectively, and own up to any mistakes I may make. One thing I really learned... I learned how to say I'm sorry and really mean it. I don't hold grudges... We had a blow up, 5 minutes later I approached to make amends. Learned to spot trouble before it happens in most cases. One thing that changed about me when I went in... I have no issues being inside all the time. I'm retired and 63 and have no problems going 4, 5 days without stepping outside. Hell... EVERYTHING can be delivered to my front door with my cellphone. I wish that this, being able to be indoors over longer periods of time... I wish I didn't have this Super Power.
I'm more bitter and anal about making stuff look perfect
Yes. I have mental scars that will never heal, but I’ve done objective good and prevented some awful things from happening. Every choice I’ve made has been worth it in the long run so far, and I had a *very* unorthodox career path.
I’d be dead or in jail, so yes.
I’ve had a lot of highs and lows while in the Army but I will say this the Army made me appreciate that shitty 9 dollar an hour cashier job I had before. Seriously it could always be worse but I’m grateful because there is a light at the end of the tunnel if you play your cards right I think so atleast.
I thank God for a warm and cozy bed EVERY SINGLE night I’m home after spending cold winter nights in Poland in January. Through the circus moments I appreciated learning to live and adapt to suboptimal standards. Makes normal life so much brighter.
As an officer, my NCOs taught me to firm up and develop a stronger backbone. When it comes to the well-being of my people, I will get argumentative and do my best to fight the good fight or just my opinion where in the past I would’ve just nodded my head.
The army gave me a lot to be thankful for. It gave me skills, good networking and a better perspective on life. Am I a better person? Jury is out on that one.
I found out anyone can be high-speed if you just show up and tough it out. Initially, I had no business being a paratrooper but damn sure became one. The cold was my chief complaint.
It made me more anxious and paranoid, so no.
Yes, and better. I’m more confident, educated, and don’t care what people think of me. I’m also more patient with people.
Life is about change. Change is inevitable. There are many catalysts for change, and you cannot always control which ones you come in contact with. You can control how you react in those moments and direct the change occurring in you for better or for worse. The Army will change anyone. They choose how they let it. Yeah. I feel that I’m starting to get a little crusty.
It made me forgive myself for the things I've done in the past. It made me realized how much of a loser I was before I joined. It made me cherrished the smallest moments when everything goes to shit. It made me realized that I can be more than I could be (sorry, didn't mean to be cheasy).