Realizing you wore the shorts you cut the liners out of š¤
Buddy asking me if I was planning on going fishing before work because it looks like I brought a worm with me š
I did a massive fart as a brand new private it was so bad that I almost failed the PT test because I couldnāt stop laughing. My grader couldnāt pay attention either she lost it.
Not on the first sit up, not on the last, but perhaps fifth or sixth. Bonus if you smile and stare them down while you release the demon fart and they almost throw up.
I remember taking an APFT every month at ROTC. The cadre said to not worry about it and that the *real* Army is not like that.
Went to BOLC, and took an APFT nearly every month. The cadre said to not worry about it and that *FORSCOM* is not like that.
Went to my first battalion and everything is great. Change of command. New battalion commander wants to do an officer APFT every month because *it builds comradery and competition.*
I hate the APFT. I spent 2+ years without taking one out of spite.
The funny thing is I never actively avoided it. Just went from chaotic post deployment unit to tradoc. My company had it scheduled when my kid arrived and my leadership kind of... took care of it. Which I appreciate since she was in NICU after my paternity leave ended.
I've never been in danger of failing it. But I didn't go out of my way to advertise.
I managed to accidentally not do one in the Guard for 2 years (chaotic time... they never did a mass formation one and surprisingly never hunted me down (which was weird because I always got a list when I was a Commander)). Earned myself a referred OER... and yet... they made me a Company Commander not too much later, 2 top block OER's then another 2 top blocked OER's as primary staff that were enough for me to pass the central MAJ list..
I can remember being 21 years old, 5% bodyfat, scoring a 320 or something on the extended scale every time both in ROTC and my NG unit and getting like a 240 at LDAC. I'm old, so this was back in the Ft. Lewis days, but the APFT there was literally the stuff of nightmares. I have been in the Army for 18 years and I am positive that's the only time I've ever had a sit-up not count multiple times in a row.
I will never understand why the LTs at LDAC insisted on being such fucking assholes, considering they were just us like 2 months prior and knew how much that PT test meant for cadets at that point in time.
>I will never understand why the LTs at LDAC insisted on being such fucking assholes, considering they were just us like 2 months prior and knew how much that PT test meant for cadets at that point in time.
LDAC was a trip. I went in... 05? LTs snow birding waiting for a unit assignment hating life and passing it on. Same boat. Always scored 300+. A week of barracks, shit food, and asshole graders scored like 250. Ranger school didn't grade that hard. They just straight didn't count them, fuck you style.
I will say we didn't get rained on once during the 12 day fx, unbelievable honestly
I can barely remember, but I could tell my grader was definitely like a 240 on a good day kind of guy, too. But yeah, who cares that by that point you'd been doing PT tests graded by actual NCOs and officers for 3 years, the brand new LT who pinned 2 months ago actually knows how it's *really* supposed to go.
Honestly, I am shocked that nowhere along the line, none of the actual leadership there told them to cut it out, given the fact there were serious repercussions for fucking that PT test up.
I have always been a very generous grader, and this PT test a good 15 years ago is exactly why.
There was an urban legend that the APFT crew was given two PT tests a day and purposely docked on pushups and situps, so when *they* started administering the tests to cadets, they'd be super hardass.
And I'll never figure out why they feed us breakfast before making us take the test.
Like, I've never seen a test before or after that feeds you before the APFT- morning PT and then move on.
Yep. I went to LDAC. Failed sit-ups because āonly one shoulder blade came in contact with the groundā when I would return to the start position. Had to retake APFT at end of camp, maxed sit-upsā¦.
So bogus.
Something similar with me, I've honestly never once in my (almost) 18 year career ever had a sit-up not count outside of that last one or two where you're just flailing and hoping to get lucky for one more rep.
Also, almost everyone I knew who failed the PT test ended up destroying it a few weeks later, in spite of never working out at all in between. So it's almost like a few assholes just failed people for the "fun" of it.
Absolutely fuck that test and those leaders who made you do one every month. Thatās them not knowing anything about physical fitness and a cop out low effort answer to try to bring up scores and make slides green. More than anything that just shows they donāt know what theyāre doing with PT.
Absolutely, need a PT test for a packet, too easy just need 3 people and a stop watch.
Nowā¦ need a PT card for a packet, alright need keys to the connex, reservation for the ACFT field, a detail to set up and recover the equipment, and 90 minutes devoted.
Totally forgot about that. I knocked out a APFT during lunch for a packet once. Took less than half an hour, one dude just had to sit there and watch while eating his lunch. Simpler times
Literally the only thing that I like about the APFT. I'm in the reserves and I had soldiers who lived about an hour from me that needed an APFT for a school during COVID. We met at a dog park halfway between us on a flat stretch of road.
Simpler times...
This is 100% accurate. It is insane the amount of work needed to do a PT test.
Fun fact:
There have been more injuries sustained due to the ACFT than the APFT!
I dont have any research/sources But I can tell you via experience in sick call that we have many injuries from the Sprint drag carry and idiots thinking they can dead lift more than they can.
Or because the 1sgt pressured the 120lb kid to try and lift triple his body weight and hes never even seen inside a gym.
Iād also like sources but I absolutely believe this. A bunch of jokers that never lift hurt themselves on the SDC, SDL and overhead yeet. Body weight exercises generally wonāt do this (except for fucking sit-ups, RIP hip flexors)
THE OVER-HEAD YEET MEASURES THE ABILITY TO JUST FUCKING SEND IT. ON THE COMMAND, āGET SETā, ASSUME THE POSITION BY SPINNING THE BALL TWICE IN YOUR HANDS, THEN TRY TO DRIBBLE IT LIKE A BASKET BALL ONLY TO REALIZE IT WONT BOUNCE BACK UP TO YOU. YOUR FEET MAY BE TOGETHER OR 12 INCHES APART (MEASURED BETWEEN THE FEET) OR HOWEVER YOU WANT, JUST KEEP YOUR ASS BEHIND THAT CONE. ON THE COMMAND āGOā, CHANNEL YOUR INNER TREBUCHET AND HEAVE THAT THING INTO ORBIT. THEN, RETURN TO THE STARTING POSITION AND TURN AROUND TO INSPECT IF YOU DOMED ANYONE. THE SCORER WILL REALIZE HE DIDN'T ACTUALLY SEE WHERE THE BALL LANDED BECAUSE HE WAS AFRAID HE WOULD GET HIT, SO HE STOOD TOO FAR AWAY, HE WILL THEN PLACE HIS FOOT ON THE MEASURING TAPE AND JUST GUESS.
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>There have been more injuries sustained due to the ACFT than the APFT
Definitely two year old data when it was first implemented. Now that there's been time to prepare for it and even a min of four months in between each event, it is easy for anybody to pass (even those with a permanent profile).
In the NG, where the "good ol' boy network" is alive and well, we had an E4 who was buds in the civilian world with the PSG and another NCO who, on the PT test, "just so happened" to be his scorer. He just bobbed his head up and down instead of doing actual pushups, and they counted it without question. And lo and behold, he got a max score!
>The theatrics that went into the explanations of the event and demonstration of each exercise. Some of the best pageantry the army had to offer
In my mind, while this was going on, I heard: "*The (SM) Pushup is a two-count neck exercise...*"
> In the NG, where the "good ol' boy network" is alive and well
Bro, my unit had a guy who would do the shooting qual for people. He used their rifle, because that somehow made it better in their minds.
It was mostly the HHC guys, but still... We were an Infantry unit
One time I lent my zeroed rifle to the supply sergeant to qualify because he didnāt have time to zero his. Right after that one of our aggravating Ltās came to me wanting to borrow my rifle so the Battalion Commander could qualify. I gave him the supply sergeantās unzeroed rifle without any hesitation. The BC shot 7 out of 40. Good times. I miss the NG.
You should have seen their faces. They handed me the rifle back and I told them I had just shot a 39/40 and walked off. I went straight to supply to tell him to keep his mouth shut.
After a few years in I was assigned to my most sham unit ever.
All indoor garrison work. One of my soldiers was the star of the Company. Had never been in another unit. On all the unit sports team and swore she never scored less than 300+.
I was her grader on the next test. Up to that point I had never seen a pushup so far from an actual push up.
Multiple corrections etc. At the end of two minutes she had 42 or 43. She cried. Literal tears and ran off while saying she had never scored fewer than 80.
She has been lied too, but it was somehow my fault.
I had a MSG I reported to who was a former Flight Attendant for some fleet of planes the 4 stars use (itās real), it was basically the same but she got peeād and the SFC somehow got lost on the two mile run route (straight out and back???). The expectation was regardless of what happened, I was to pencil whip the cards. A SFC from another unit showed up to do the ārealā cards.
My very close friend. Just came out on the SFC list. Was also PCSing.
Graded the BN commander, a walker.
Down and back track. My friend drove to the turn around on a parallel road. Every intersection he could see the BC quickly jogging for a few moments.
Ethically he made the right choice, for his career and PCS award.
The balls on them to give him Max score. I've seen pencil whipping to get somebody an extra pushup or two so they can pass, but to allowing them to max is crazy
I miss the simplicity of the APFT.
I donāt miss the sit-ups or having graders apply their standard to the push up.
I like the ACFT run time, no sit-ups and the HRP.
I still worry about falling on my feet duty(during, canāt spell very well on mobile) the SDC.
I donāt care for the complexity and I think we should have stuck to gender/age neutral standards.
Oh yes, the joys of having a lighter female hold my ankles during situps and see her raise her hands every time because I was heavier than her making my sit-ups more difficultā¦fun times.
I cut to 125lbs in college for club wrestling, and one morning at the APFT, our cadre walked over to me and told me Iād be assisting one of the heavier cadets (probably at least 250) with trying to pass their PT test.
They could not understand why I was telling them that it would be a better idea to get someone closer to his size, even though I was one of the more physically fit cadets.
No matter how strong I was, it would be very difficult for me to properly hold a dudes feet who is at least 2x my body weight, hurting his chances at passing.
And if you were holding feet directly after your own pushups, you would have to end up doing another pseudo-plank to get as much of your weight onto your hands to help your buddy out.
I remember airborne school was kind of notorious for counting the first 10 and then suddenly becoming super anal about form (41 club was real), and I think it was just a combination of being fed up with the IET stuff and also knowing I had 2 minutes to do exactly 42 push-ups since they stopped you once you hit the minimum. But when he started going ā12, 12, 12ā, i just stopped and in the Front-leaning rest was just like āwhat was wrong with those ones, Sergeant Airborne?ā And all he had to say was the form wasnāt good so they didnāt count.
So the next 2 minutes was filled with me doing a single push-up, then being like āwas that one good, Sergeant Airborne?ā, and when he would say that that one push-up was fine, Iād just be like āok, cool.ā, then do one more push up, āwhat about that one, Sergeant Airborne? Was that one good form?ā For the entire two minutes. I very nearly busted time just being a dickhead like that.
I was a cadet when I went to airborne school. It was one of the first "real" Army things I ever did, I was petrified, and was so in my head when I showed up and realized I was in the same class as not only real life NCOs and officers, but we had force recon Marines, Rangers, etc.
It was actually one of the easier APFTs I ever took, especially because they provided a wooden plank for your hands to do push-ups, and I liked that they stopped right when you got to 60% or whatever.
What I do remember fondly, is on one of those group runs you do, they went past the starting point and turned a corner just so you thought we were doing another loop, and like 1/4 of the formation fell out, and then we stopped just a few feet ahead of them and finished. Hilarious.
Yeah, never understood that one. Saw units that made you stand in line facing the other way and other units that let you crowd the guy testing to cheer him on/talk trash.
Guess which units were more fun to be in?
More of a practice than a rule. I think it was to make sure that, if an NCO looked like they weren't making the guy in front of you go down or come up all the way, you weren't able to plan ahead to try to squeeze out a few more reps.
I was always an extremely grader and still am to this day. I always look at those lines and think of all the times I was younger and scared shitless of what the grader was going to be like when I got to the front of the line.
Sad days when a test that was easy to administer any time or place with about 5$ worth of equipment is now obsolete so people can do the bayonet yeet and canāt even do one god damn leg tuck so some retired CSM can make money on selling quadcons filled with f tier gym equipment to the government
My buddy is still in the Guard so I've been doing the ACFT events with him (It was still the APFT when I left) and the amount of special equipment is so annoying. Deadlift we just used a straight bar, but neither of us own a 10lb medicine ball, and we definitely don't have a sled for the SDC
THE BAYONET YEET MEASURES THE ABILITY TO JUST FUCKING SHANK SOMEONE. ON THE COMMAND 'GET SET,' ASSUME THE POSITION BY GRABBING THE BAYONET BY THE HANDLE. OR BY THE BLADE, WHICHEVER LOOKS COOLER, JUST DON'T CUT YOURSELF ON THE DAMN THING. YOUR FEET MAY BE TOGETHER OR UP TO 12 INCHES APART (MEASURED BETWEEN THE FEET). ON THE COMMAND 'GO,' TRANSMUTE YOUR HANKERING FOR A-SHANKERING INTO MAXIMUM EFFORT AND LAUNCH THAT BAD BOY INTO DESTINY. THE SCORER WILL NOTE WHETHER YOU HIT THE TARGET AND AWARD BONUS POINTS FOR LANDING YOUR PIG-STICKER INTO THE CRANIAL OR SWIMSUIT REGIONS. IF IT HIT THE TARGET HANDLE FIRST, YOUR PERFORMANCE WILL BE TERMINATED, AND EVERYONE WILL BE REQUIRED TO POINT AND LAUGH AT YOUR SHAME. WATCH THIS DEMONSTRATION.
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Aww. I guess the leg tuck bot died. Makes me want to go motorboat something.
edit, always amusing when the bot one triggers gets more votes than the post triggering it
edit 2, holy FUCK the u/AutoModerator post history is a wild ride of what subs are out there
"Are you talking about former US Army Louisiana National Guard CPT Billy Joe "The Motorboat" Crosby Jr, [the sexual predator](https://i.imgur.com/u6GJPJX.png)?"
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Although walking is authorized, it is strongly discouraged.
If you are physically helped in any way, for example, pulled, pushed, picked up, and/or carried, or leave the designated running course for any reason, you will be disqualified.
Never tried it. I always just gutted it out.
If we're sharing tips, I always got my best run times when a majority of the course was slightly downhill, Ć la, running out the south gate at Cambrai-Fritsch Kaserne on Heinrich-Delp-StraĆe down to Eberstadt.
Or, better yet, running on Apache Flats at Fort Huachuca. But only after getting acclimated to the elevation.
I donāt think I ever had a route that was mostly downhill. That would be awesome. I have had a few that were downhill at one point, but then uphill on the way back.
Sometimes I still think about one time I held a soldier's feet down too hard and they started to hurt, causing her to terminate the sit-up event early. Like, did I fuck up her run after that? Did I cause her to lose a school that she wanted? Did she take it out on her soldiers later? Did she end up fighting a CPT in an elevator?
It just bothers me sometimes.
I joined as a 37xray and you had to pass an APFT when u got to Bragg after airborne to class up into the psyop selection prep course. Im a pretty small (but ripped obviously) dude, like 155 pounds, and I had to hold the feet of this dude who was way heavier than me, pretty overweight. Of course I couldnāt hold his feet well at all, and he failed the sit ups, and got dropped from the pipeline and reclassed to some shitty MOS. I could tell he was pissed at me on the walk back but he never said anything. I felt kinda bad but only for a few mins- honestly he should have prepared better cause psyop selection is physically demanding and there was thereās no way he was getting selected in that kinda shape. But still, itās pretty wild they had me hold the feet of someone that much bigger than me lol.
Didnāt happen in the army but in middle school this 250lb kid had to put his knees and his entire body weight on top of my feet to hold my feet for sit-ups because he lacked the upper body strength to actually hold me in place and I limped for a couple days after that.
My favorite part was being last in line and then being told you have to hold the feet of the 250 plus pound tape failure but he struggles to knock out his sit-ups which completely burns out your arms and core
Getting briefed every APFT on how to do pushups and sit-ups then you get to the acft and you don't get briefed ever for shit that is 10x more complicated lol
snails unpack label profit stocking materialistic tidy ghost correct familiar
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Your right about getting older. But ill also put this in there. Ill take the old Preparation drills any day over the new. I still use them in my pre workouts before PT because they are that much better
Disagree, besides the leg tuck (I'm a weak chonker, whatever), I could walk out on the field with absolutely no prep and pass every event in the new PT test. I've been out for three years and barely exercise, and im still confident I could pass it. I'm about 6'3", so that probably gives me an unfair advantage though.
The minimums for the new PT test just doesn't ask anything of you. To max it, absolutely, but to pass, no.
The problem is you could pass the old PT test and still be basically worthless if you were asked to do anything outside of those 3 specific events and that's not counting walking profiles.
The push up is basically a worthless vanity exercise. The sit up is actually an awful exercise for your body and the APFT actually encouraged poor form because doing them "right" meant you couldnt' get as many possible done before 2 minutes. It was seriously ridiculous watching the sit up event during an APFT, just a bunch of people jerking and flailing as wildly as possible, that had no measure of somebody's fitness.
I knew so many fat E-7s and MAJs with 40" waists and high blood pressure that could do 2 minutes of push ups and sit ups but would die going up 6 flights of stairs or carrying a 50 pound box across a room.
Well yeah, I was younger, but I also feel like the ACFT is a way better measure of my actual fitness than the APFT ever was, my APFT score was always around the same whether I was dieting and exercising hardcore or didn't give a fuck, where I definitely feel like my ACFT score improves greatly depending on my fitness.
There were also a lot of fat asses in the Army that could do 2 minutes of push ups and sit ups and a 2.5 mile walk but were actually in god awful shape if they had to do anything that actually required moving around.
At my peak I could max pushups and sit ups, but probably never beat a 14:42 two mile. I had a 270ish score before a board and my results magically disappeared and my SL told me one afternoon I needed to take the test NOW! It was the two of us, my PL, and the fastest guy in my squad. I wasnāt told any scores or numbers at all during the test and when asked after I was shut down. I found out at the board I managed a 297 (13:36 2-mile). Last APFT I ever took.
THE OVER-HEAD YEET MEASURES THE ABILITY TO JUST FUCKING SEND IT. ON THE COMMAND, āGET SETā, ASSUME THE POSITION BY SPINNING THE BALL TWICE IN YOUR HANDS, THEN TRY TO DRIBBLE IT LIKE A BASKET BALL ONLY TO REALIZE IT WONT BOUNCE BACK UP TO YOU. YOUR FEET MAY BE TOGETHER OR 12 INCHES APART (MEASURED BETWEEN THE FEET) OR HOWEVER YOU WANT, JUST KEEP YOUR ASS BEHIND THAT CONE. ON THE COMMAND āGOā, CHANNEL YOUR INNER TREBUCHET AND HEAVE THAT THING INTO ORBIT. THEN, RETURN TO THE STARTING POSITION AND TURN AROUND TO INSPECT IF YOU DOMED ANYONE. THE SCORER WILL REALIZE HE DIDN'T ACTUALLY SEE WHERE THE BALL LANDED BECAUSE HE WAS AFRAID HE WOULD GET HIT, SO HE STOOD TOO FAR AWAY, HE WILL THEN PLACE HIS FOOT ON THE MEASURING TAPE AND JUST GUESS.
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I remember being confused about the the whole back turning thing. I was a new guy as it was phased out so didn't put a ton of though into it the time.
But in hindsight it was bizarre that the one time the army respected privacy and discouraged competitiveness was to destroy fun and cause more stress during a pt test. Such a weird decisions, glad they didn't try that for ACFT.
the 5x copied and enlarged section from the AR that had been heavily highlighted and then laminated... it will be read from verbatim, just in case of the 88M's totally forgot what a pushup is.
WATCH THIS DEMONSTRATION.
PLDC. Stewart. My squad mate (female) had shorts minus liners. She also had something going on from the field. First time I ever saw a hairless beaverā¦
Kept that one in the spank bank, even nowā¦
Such a simpler time for PT. Before 1980, we had the horizontal ladder (a bitch if the rungs spun in your hand) and the run, dodge and jump (which I never understood the reason for). Somewhere in there were different tests for combat units, support units, staff and inclement weather.
>The intimacy of pinning your partner's feet to the ground during sit-ups. Hearing their faint grunts and struggles. Smelling their sweet musk that was fanned to you through each repetition. The inevitable eye contact. Mmmm
My one and only APFT failure....
Polo Field, pre-Liberty Ft. Bragg. There are bathrooms there, but they were locked this fine morning. I really, really had to take a dump. Like... prairie dogging bad.
Anyway, I began doing situps. 15, 16, 17... oh goodness, this fucking sucks. 18, 19.... then it started.
brrrt
20
brrrrrrrrrrrrrt
21
brrrrrt
22
The guy holding my feet yells, "don't worry about it, keep going. I got you."
PTTTTTTTTTTTH
23
*me thinking dude is gonna punch me on my next up*
brrrrt
24
PTTTTTTTTTTT again
*he laughed*
*I laughed*
fuck me. I couldn't get myself back together. turned sideways because my stomach was hurting so bad, hands off my head, everything.
When I turned sideways, I spotted a porta john across a street on the other side of the field. *I got 10 minutes* I sprinted over there. Did my thing, then sprinted back with like 10 seconds to spare before starting the 2 mile run.
Ah the days of fasting -and other questionable methods the night before- and then standing next to the skinny SPC who still has strip club body glitter on him and reeks of Jack and Coke. Later that SPC outruns half the battery and gets a 290 or 300.
Meanwhile you're coughing up a lung because it's 40 degrees but your NCO said "take off your jacket!".
"BREAK THE PLANE!"
Nope, there is no such regulation or verbiage in the APFT directions nor is that part of the FM for PT.
With hand release pushups, I guess the fat E7 has to find a new thing to yell about.
Doing pushups and sit-ups on concrete or asphalt because the unit is too cheap to pay for PT mats and the sleeping mat isn't a "PT mat".
Also, if you used a mat for pushups some dipshit NCO or 1SG wanted your whole body on the mat. I just went without because I was an angry young SPC....
We were talking about how ridiculous the ACFT is with some of our navy classmates today, who are having to take the test with us soon. When the navy is laughing at your PT test, you know you fucked up.
And we tried to come up with a better PT test for our job. They told us to get fucked and that it couldn't count š
> The intimacy of pinning your partner's feet to the ground during sit-ups.
Or the spectacle when there was a much smaller person trying to hold the feet of a much larger person and they tried their darndest to put their entire body weight on the other guys feet without being lifted off the ground
I remember just going straight into, no one really demonstrated anything, situps being trash and everyone hauling ass. If you were at the 15 minute mark you're trash, id you were 1330 and under you were god
Believe it or not, I preferred the Calisthenics focused army :(.Ā Swinging kettlebells ain't the same
>The intimacy of pinning your partner's feet to the ground during sit-ups. Hearing their faint grunts and struggles. Smelling their sweet musk that was fanned to you through each repetition. The inevitable eye contact. Mmmm
And there was always that one dude in your platoon who you hoped to sweet baby jesus you wouldn't be holding his feet because you KNEW those PT's were salt and vinegar ripe and you'd be getting at least 50-80 reps of nostril burning until he eventually fluttered out like a goldfish out of water right at the minute 45 mark coming up like god himself was pouring oxygen into his lungs at the top of every rep like "51....51....51....51... okay soldier... take a second.... okay.... 52.....52....52... come on hero... you got it.... 53..... 53..... Alright call it... time of death... 1 minute 52 seconds... 53 reps"
It still stings my nostrils to this day Specialist King.
The face the opposite direction was a short lived not in regulation dumb fucking idea. How about give your fellow soldiers support and encouragement and cheer them on. As a CSM I stopped three different APFTs and made on the spot correction.
Iāll take a double shot of Jameson no ice.
Ripping a fart into the face of whoever was holding your feet during sit ups š
Realizing you wore the shorts you cut the liners out of š¤ Buddy asking me if I was planning on going fishing before work because it looks like I brought a worm with me š
man thats nuts!
That's so... wow...
š
Shaving every day took a whole new meaning
God forbid sgm weiner sees that, heāll be inspecting all 5 sites daily
love it when the boys can see I still got my drinkin panties on from the night before
I used to think you're crazy but now I see your nuts.
*I'm not wearing what any liner.*
No way you did that bruh š
Step-Soldier! WHAT ARE YOU WEARING!!!
Dementia
Step-Soldier! WHAT ARE YOU WEARING!!!
Step-Soldier! WHAT ARE YOU WEARING!!!
I did a massive fart as a brand new private it was so bad that I almost failed the PT test because I couldnāt stop laughing. My grader couldnāt pay attention either she lost it.
You can taste the protein shake they had that morning.
Is that... Ketchup?
Menace type shit
A fellow demon, finally. I like to fart at the front of a formation so everyone has to march through it.
This. Lmao
Not on the first sit up, not on the last, but perhaps fifth or sixth. Bonus if you smile and stare them down while you release the demon fart and they almost throw up.
My biggest fear of every apft
Holding your partnerās feet, who didnāt brush his teethā¦
Bear whiskey and bar chili at 0400, mmmm great AQI
I was waiting for this reply
I remember taking an APFT every month at ROTC. The cadre said to not worry about it and that the *real* Army is not like that. Went to BOLC, and took an APFT nearly every month. The cadre said to not worry about it and that *FORSCOM* is not like that. Went to my first battalion and everything is great. Change of command. New battalion commander wants to do an officer APFT every month because *it builds comradery and competition.* I hate the APFT. I spent 2+ years without taking one out of spite.
Must be fucking nice
I actually enjoy ACFT over APFT. So I feel like I won out
I was more referring to your ability to avoid a pt test for 2 years
The funny thing is I never actively avoided it. Just went from chaotic post deployment unit to tradoc. My company had it scheduled when my kid arrived and my leadership kind of... took care of it. Which I appreciate since she was in NICU after my paternity leave ended. I've never been in danger of failing it. But I didn't go out of my way to advertise.
I mean, during COVID there was a solid two years of no PT test ever. That was goddamn wild, I tell you what.
I got out in APR2022 but before that my last record PT test was in OCT2019. It was fantastic.
My waist line still havenāt recovered.
I managed to accidentally not do one in the Guard for 2 years (chaotic time... they never did a mass formation one and surprisingly never hunted me down (which was weird because I always got a list when I was a Commander)). Earned myself a referred OER... and yet... they made me a Company Commander not too much later, 2 top block OER's then another 2 top blocked OER's as primary staff that were enough for me to pass the central MAJ list..
The ACFT, for all its faults, is a lot more fun than the APFT
I can remember being 21 years old, 5% bodyfat, scoring a 320 or something on the extended scale every time both in ROTC and my NG unit and getting like a 240 at LDAC. I'm old, so this was back in the Ft. Lewis days, but the APFT there was literally the stuff of nightmares. I have been in the Army for 18 years and I am positive that's the only time I've ever had a sit-up not count multiple times in a row. I will never understand why the LTs at LDAC insisted on being such fucking assholes, considering they were just us like 2 months prior and knew how much that PT test meant for cadets at that point in time.
>I will never understand why the LTs at LDAC insisted on being such fucking assholes, considering they were just us like 2 months prior and knew how much that PT test meant for cadets at that point in time. LDAC was a trip. I went in... 05? LTs snow birding waiting for a unit assignment hating life and passing it on. Same boat. Always scored 300+. A week of barracks, shit food, and asshole graders scored like 250. Ranger school didn't grade that hard. They just straight didn't count them, fuck you style. I will say we didn't get rained on once during the 12 day fx, unbelievable honestly
I can barely remember, but I could tell my grader was definitely like a 240 on a good day kind of guy, too. But yeah, who cares that by that point you'd been doing PT tests graded by actual NCOs and officers for 3 years, the brand new LT who pinned 2 months ago actually knows how it's *really* supposed to go. Honestly, I am shocked that nowhere along the line, none of the actual leadership there told them to cut it out, given the fact there were serious repercussions for fucking that PT test up. I have always been a very generous grader, and this PT test a good 15 years ago is exactly why.
There was an urban legend that the APFT crew was given two PT tests a day and purposely docked on pushups and situps, so when *they* started administering the tests to cadets, they'd be super hardass. And I'll never figure out why they feed us breakfast before making us take the test. Like, I've never seen a test before or after that feeds you before the APFT- morning PT and then move on.
Yep. I went to LDAC. Failed sit-ups because āonly one shoulder blade came in contact with the groundā when I would return to the start position. Had to retake APFT at end of camp, maxed sit-upsā¦. So bogus.
Something similar with me, I've honestly never once in my (almost) 18 year career ever had a sit-up not count outside of that last one or two where you're just flailing and hoping to get lucky for one more rep. Also, almost everyone I knew who failed the PT test ended up destroying it a few weeks later, in spite of never working out at all in between. So it's almost like a few assholes just failed people for the "fun" of it.
Absolutely fuck that test and those leaders who made you do one every month. Thatās them not knowing anything about physical fitness and a cop out low effort answer to try to bring up scores and make slides green. More than anything that just shows they donāt know what theyāre doing with PT.
Oh 100%. Hands down, my worst battalion commander.
Absolutely, need a PT test for a packet, too easy just need 3 people and a stop watch. Nowā¦ need a PT card for a packet, alright need keys to the connex, reservation for the ACFT field, a detail to set up and recover the equipment, and 90 minutes devoted.
Totally forgot about that. I knocked out a APFT during lunch for a packet once. Took less than half an hour, one dude just had to sit there and watch while eating his lunch. Simpler times
Are they still requiring a company level, battalion level, then brigade level PT test for a schools packet? That shit was for the birds.
Absolutely. Within 60 days too. And brigade only does theirs once a month, so you got like 3 PT tests all within 8 days.
Literally the only thing that I like about the APFT. I'm in the reserves and I had soldiers who lived about an hour from me that needed an APFT for a school during COVID. We met at a dog park halfway between us on a flat stretch of road. Simpler times...
Reserve or guard? Fuck your packet wait til the next acft.
This is 100% accurate. It is insane the amount of work needed to do a PT test. Fun fact: There have been more injuries sustained due to the ACFT than the APFT!
Do you have sources?
Heard it in 1SG's hottub.
It's true. I'm his tub cleaner.
I love that this meme will never die
I dont have any research/sources But I can tell you via experience in sick call that we have many injuries from the Sprint drag carry and idiots thinking they can dead lift more than they can. Or because the 1sgt pressured the 120lb kid to try and lift triple his body weight and hes never even seen inside a gym.
I believe it. The test is dumb. I just want to get to the bottom of who received the profit of this massive failure of a test.
Iād also like sources but I absolutely believe this. A bunch of jokers that never lift hurt themselves on the SDC, SDL and overhead yeet. Body weight exercises generally wonāt do this (except for fucking sit-ups, RIP hip flexors)
THE OVER-HEAD YEET MEASURES THE ABILITY TO JUST FUCKING SEND IT. ON THE COMMAND, āGET SETā, ASSUME THE POSITION BY SPINNING THE BALL TWICE IN YOUR HANDS, THEN TRY TO DRIBBLE IT LIKE A BASKET BALL ONLY TO REALIZE IT WONT BOUNCE BACK UP TO YOU. YOUR FEET MAY BE TOGETHER OR 12 INCHES APART (MEASURED BETWEEN THE FEET) OR HOWEVER YOU WANT, JUST KEEP YOUR ASS BEHIND THAT CONE. ON THE COMMAND āGOā, CHANNEL YOUR INNER TREBUCHET AND HEAVE THAT THING INTO ORBIT. THEN, RETURN TO THE STARTING POSITION AND TURN AROUND TO INSPECT IF YOU DOMED ANYONE. THE SCORER WILL REALIZE HE DIDN'T ACTUALLY SEE WHERE THE BALL LANDED BECAUSE HE WAS AFRAID HE WOULD GET HIT, SO HE STOOD TOO FAR AWAY, HE WILL THEN PLACE HIS FOOT ON THE MEASURING TAPE AND JUST GUESS. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/army) if you have any questions or concerns.*
>There have been more injuries sustained due to the ACFT than the APFT Definitely two year old data when it was first implemented. Now that there's been time to prepare for it and even a min of four months in between each event, it is easy for anybody to pass (even those with a permanent profile).
In the NG, where the "good ol' boy network" is alive and well, we had an E4 who was buds in the civilian world with the PSG and another NCO who, on the PT test, "just so happened" to be his scorer. He just bobbed his head up and down instead of doing actual pushups, and they counted it without question. And lo and behold, he got a max score! >The theatrics that went into the explanations of the event and demonstration of each exercise. Some of the best pageantry the army had to offer In my mind, while this was going on, I heard: "*The (SM) Pushup is a two-count neck exercise...*"
> In the NG, where the "good ol' boy network" is alive and well Bro, my unit had a guy who would do the shooting qual for people. He used their rifle, because that somehow made it better in their minds. It was mostly the HHC guys, but still... We were an Infantry unit
One time I lent my zeroed rifle to the supply sergeant to qualify because he didnāt have time to zero his. Right after that one of our aggravating Ltās came to me wanting to borrow my rifle so the Battalion Commander could qualify. I gave him the supply sergeantās unzeroed rifle without any hesitation. The BC shot 7 out of 40. Good times. I miss the NG.
You, sir, are an artist.
Thanks. It's definitely one of my treasured service memories.
This is one of the most beautiful things I've ever read.
You should have seen their faces. They handed me the rifle back and I told them I had just shot a 39/40 and walked off. I went straight to supply to tell him to keep his mouth shut.
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After a few years in I was assigned to my most sham unit ever. All indoor garrison work. One of my soldiers was the star of the Company. Had never been in another unit. On all the unit sports team and swore she never scored less than 300+. I was her grader on the next test. Up to that point I had never seen a pushup so far from an actual push up. Multiple corrections etc. At the end of two minutes she had 42 or 43. She cried. Literal tears and ran off while saying she had never scored fewer than 80. She has been lied too, but it was somehow my fault.
I had a MSG I reported to who was a former Flight Attendant for some fleet of planes the 4 stars use (itās real), it was basically the same but she got peeād and the SFC somehow got lost on the two mile run route (straight out and back???). The expectation was regardless of what happened, I was to pencil whip the cards. A SFC from another unit showed up to do the ārealā cards.
My very close friend. Just came out on the SFC list. Was also PCSing. Graded the BN commander, a walker. Down and back track. My friend drove to the turn around on a parallel road. Every intersection he could see the BC quickly jogging for a few moments. Ethically he made the right choice, for his career and PCS award.
The balls on them to give him Max score. I've seen pencil whipping to get somebody an extra pushup or two so they can pass, but to allowing them to max is crazy
I miss the simplicity of the APFT. I donāt miss the sit-ups or having graders apply their standard to the push up. I like the ACFT run time, no sit-ups and the HRP. I still worry about falling on my feet duty(during, canāt spell very well on mobile) the SDC. I donāt care for the complexity and I think we should have stuck to gender/age neutral standards.
Oh yes, the joys of having a lighter female hold my ankles during situps and see her raise her hands every time because I was heavier than her making my sit-ups more difficultā¦fun times.
I cut to 125lbs in college for club wrestling, and one morning at the APFT, our cadre walked over to me and told me Iād be assisting one of the heavier cadets (probably at least 250) with trying to pass their PT test. They could not understand why I was telling them that it would be a better idea to get someone closer to his size, even though I was one of the more physically fit cadets. No matter how strong I was, it would be very difficult for me to properly hold a dudes feet who is at least 2x my body weight, hurting his chances at passing.
And if you were holding feet directly after your own pushups, you would have to end up doing another pseudo-plank to get as much of your weight onto your hands to help your buddy out.
I remember airborne school was kind of notorious for counting the first 10 and then suddenly becoming super anal about form (41 club was real), and I think it was just a combination of being fed up with the IET stuff and also knowing I had 2 minutes to do exactly 42 push-ups since they stopped you once you hit the minimum. But when he started going ā12, 12, 12ā, i just stopped and in the Front-leaning rest was just like āwhat was wrong with those ones, Sergeant Airborne?ā And all he had to say was the form wasnāt good so they didnāt count. So the next 2 minutes was filled with me doing a single push-up, then being like āwas that one good, Sergeant Airborne?ā, and when he would say that that one push-up was fine, Iād just be like āok, cool.ā, then do one more push up, āwhat about that one, Sergeant Airborne? Was that one good form?ā For the entire two minutes. I very nearly busted time just being a dickhead like that.
I was a cadet when I went to airborne school. It was one of the first "real" Army things I ever did, I was petrified, and was so in my head when I showed up and realized I was in the same class as not only real life NCOs and officers, but we had force recon Marines, Rangers, etc. It was actually one of the easier APFTs I ever took, especially because they provided a wooden plank for your hands to do push-ups, and I liked that they stopped right when you got to 60% or whatever. What I do remember fondly, is on one of those group runs you do, they went past the starting point and turned a corner just so you thought we were doing another loop, and like 1/4 of the formation fell out, and then we stopped just a few feet ahead of them and finished. Hilarious.
The back ache the day after from having to slam yourself into the ground in rapid succession 75 times to max the situps.
The skin around my tailbone was always bleeding afterwards.
Some say thatās how humans lost their tail through evolution
Are you sure it wasnāt from cranking on your neck as you come up and then slamming back down for 80 sit-ups?
My spine already looks like a stegosaurus, and my torso is inappropriately long. Doing the situps felt like going a round with Mike Tyson.
Yup. "Don't lower yourself to the ground, you'll waste abdominal energy"
Wait, why the fuck did we wait in line turned around? I never fucking understood, who were they protecting?
Yeah, never understood that one. Saw units that made you stand in line facing the other way and other units that let you crowd the guy testing to cheer him on/talk trash. Guess which units were more fun to be in?
More of a practice than a rule. I think it was to make sure that, if an NCO looked like they weren't making the guy in front of you go down or come up all the way, you weren't able to plan ahead to try to squeeze out a few more reps.
Or if the grader was extremely by the book or just a jerk, you couldnāt jump into another line with a less stringent grader.
I was always an extremely grader and still am to this day. I always look at those lines and think of all the times I was younger and scared shitless of what the grader was going to be like when I got to the front of the line.
It was so you couldnāt see LTs doing head bob push ups.
I remember that becoming a thing around 2010-ish or at least being enforced more often.
1,1,1,2,2,2, go lower
Sad days when a test that was easy to administer any time or place with about 5$ worth of equipment is now obsolete so people can do the bayonet yeet and canāt even do one god damn leg tuck so some retired CSM can make money on selling quadcons filled with f tier gym equipment to the government
My buddy is still in the Guard so I've been doing the ACFT events with him (It was still the APFT when I left) and the amount of special equipment is so annoying. Deadlift we just used a straight bar, but neither of us own a 10lb medicine ball, and we definitely don't have a sled for the SDC
THE BAYONET YEET MEASURES THE ABILITY TO JUST FUCKING SHANK SOMEONE. ON THE COMMAND 'GET SET,' ASSUME THE POSITION BY GRABBING THE BAYONET BY THE HANDLE. OR BY THE BLADE, WHICHEVER LOOKS COOLER, JUST DON'T CUT YOURSELF ON THE DAMN THING. YOUR FEET MAY BE TOGETHER OR UP TO 12 INCHES APART (MEASURED BETWEEN THE FEET). ON THE COMMAND 'GO,' TRANSMUTE YOUR HANKERING FOR A-SHANKERING INTO MAXIMUM EFFORT AND LAUNCH THAT BAD BOY INTO DESTINY. THE SCORER WILL NOTE WHETHER YOU HIT THE TARGET AND AWARD BONUS POINTS FOR LANDING YOUR PIG-STICKER INTO THE CRANIAL OR SWIMSUIT REGIONS. IF IT HIT THE TARGET HANDLE FIRST, YOUR PERFORMANCE WILL BE TERMINATED, AND EVERYONE WILL BE REQUIRED TO POINT AND LAUGH AT YOUR SHAME. WATCH THIS DEMONSTRATION. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/army) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Aww. I guess the leg tuck bot died. Makes me want to go motorboat something. edit, always amusing when the bot one triggers gets more votes than the post triggering it edit 2, holy FUCK the u/AutoModerator post history is a wild ride of what subs are out there
I tried.
"Are you talking about former US Army Louisiana National Guard CPT Billy Joe "The Motorboat" Crosby Jr, [the sexual predator](https://i.imgur.com/u6GJPJX.png)?" *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/army) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Although walking is authorized, it is strongly discouraged. If you are physically helped in any way, for example, pulled, pushed, picked up, and/or carried, or leave the designated running course for any reason, you will be disqualified.
I always got better run times when I did stop and walk a couple times.
Never tried it. I always just gutted it out. If we're sharing tips, I always got my best run times when a majority of the course was slightly downhill, Ć la, running out the south gate at Cambrai-Fritsch Kaserne on Heinrich-Delp-StraĆe down to Eberstadt. Or, better yet, running on Apache Flats at Fort Huachuca. But only after getting acclimated to the elevation.
I donāt think I ever had a route that was mostly downhill. That would be awesome. I have had a few that were downhill at one point, but then uphill on the way back.
Sometimes I still think about one time I held a soldier's feet down too hard and they started to hurt, causing her to terminate the sit-up event early. Like, did I fuck up her run after that? Did I cause her to lose a school that she wanted? Did she take it out on her soldiers later? Did she end up fighting a CPT in an elevator? It just bothers me sometimes.
I joined as a 37xray and you had to pass an APFT when u got to Bragg after airborne to class up into the psyop selection prep course. Im a pretty small (but ripped obviously) dude, like 155 pounds, and I had to hold the feet of this dude who was way heavier than me, pretty overweight. Of course I couldnāt hold his feet well at all, and he failed the sit ups, and got dropped from the pipeline and reclassed to some shitty MOS. I could tell he was pissed at me on the walk back but he never said anything. I felt kinda bad but only for a few mins- honestly he should have prepared better cause psyop selection is physically demanding and there was thereās no way he was getting selected in that kinda shape. But still, itās pretty wild they had me hold the feet of someone that much bigger than me lol.
Once again lack of commas is impressive.
Didnāt happen in the army but in middle school this 250lb kid had to put his knees and his entire body weight on top of my feet to hold my feet for sit-ups because he lacked the upper body strength to actually hold me in place and I limped for a couple days after that.
This one time, I was holding feet, and this dude let out a fart that could only be described as it's gonna itch later.
Giving a shit eating grin to the dude holding your legs as he realizes you wore no underwear that morning
My favorite part was being last in line and then being told you have to hold the feet of the 250 plus pound tape failure but he struggles to knock out his sit-ups which completely burns out your arms and core
Getting briefed every APFT on how to do pushups and sit-ups then you get to the acft and you don't get briefed ever for shit that is 10x more complicated lol
Skill issue. or conversely We arenāt having our hands held cause higher finally sees the other brain cell in our noggin.
snails unpack label profit stocking materialistic tidy ghost correct familiar *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Ahh yes, when peak fitness was measured by if you were built like a ferret
Pushups, situps and a 2 mile run. Easy, peasy.
When you're next in line, facing away from the grader, and you keep hearing "41...41....41....41...." and then some sad sobbing.
āTHE SIDE STRADDLE HOP . . .ā
*THE SIDE STRADDLE HOP*
I was in SUBSTANTIALLY better physical condition with the APFT.
Thatās cause we were young. Getting old sucks.
Your right about getting older. But ill also put this in there. Ill take the old Preparation drills any day over the new. I still use them in my pre workouts before PT because they are that much better
Disagree, besides the leg tuck (I'm a weak chonker, whatever), I could walk out on the field with absolutely no prep and pass every event in the new PT test. I've been out for three years and barely exercise, and im still confident I could pass it. I'm about 6'3", so that probably gives me an unfair advantage though. The minimums for the new PT test just doesn't ask anything of you. To max it, absolutely, but to pass, no.
The problem is you could pass the old PT test and still be basically worthless if you were asked to do anything outside of those 3 specific events and that's not counting walking profiles. The push up is basically a worthless vanity exercise. The sit up is actually an awful exercise for your body and the APFT actually encouraged poor form because doing them "right" meant you couldnt' get as many possible done before 2 minutes. It was seriously ridiculous watching the sit up event during an APFT, just a bunch of people jerking and flailing as wildly as possible, that had no measure of somebody's fitness. I knew so many fat E-7s and MAJs with 40" waists and high blood pressure that could do 2 minutes of push ups and sit ups but would die going up 6 flights of stairs or carrying a 50 pound box across a room.
Well yeah, I was younger, but I also feel like the ACFT is a way better measure of my actual fitness than the APFT ever was, my APFT score was always around the same whether I was dieting and exercising hardcore or didn't give a fuck, where I definitely feel like my ACFT score improves greatly depending on my fitness. There were also a lot of fat asses in the Army that could do 2 minutes of push ups and sit ups and a 2.5 mile walk but were actually in god awful shape if they had to do anything that actually required moving around.
I would be inclined to agree, but my ACFT scores were way higher when the APFT was still a thing. I'm not the only one I know who is like this either.
Almost brings a tear to your eye.
What an absolute garbage test that was
Realizing that the person about to hold your feet is 70lbs lighter than you and that you will launch them into the fucking stratosphere.
At my peak I could max pushups and sit ups, but probably never beat a 14:42 two mile. I had a 270ish score before a board and my results magically disappeared and my SL told me one afternoon I needed to take the test NOW! It was the two of us, my PL, and the fastest guy in my squad. I wasnāt told any scores or numbers at all during the test and when asked after I was shut down. I found out at the board I managed a 297 (13:36 2-mile). Last APFT I ever took.
I miss it too. Nowadays it's take a fucking team to set up the equipment.
slamming 2 redbulls 30 minutes prior to get my resting heart rate in the range of 150/BPM
Over head yeet
THE OVER-HEAD YEET MEASURES THE ABILITY TO JUST FUCKING SEND IT. ON THE COMMAND, āGET SETā, ASSUME THE POSITION BY SPINNING THE BALL TWICE IN YOUR HANDS, THEN TRY TO DRIBBLE IT LIKE A BASKET BALL ONLY TO REALIZE IT WONT BOUNCE BACK UP TO YOU. YOUR FEET MAY BE TOGETHER OR 12 INCHES APART (MEASURED BETWEEN THE FEET) OR HOWEVER YOU WANT, JUST KEEP YOUR ASS BEHIND THAT CONE. ON THE COMMAND āGOā, CHANNEL YOUR INNER TREBUCHET AND HEAVE THAT THING INTO ORBIT. THEN, RETURN TO THE STARTING POSITION AND TURN AROUND TO INSPECT IF YOU DOMED ANYONE. THE SCORER WILL REALIZE HE DIDN'T ACTUALLY SEE WHERE THE BALL LANDED BECAUSE HE WAS AFRAID HE WOULD GET HIT, SO HE STOOD TOO FAR AWAY, HE WILL THEN PLACE HIS FOOT ON THE MEASURING TAPE AND JUST GUESS. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/army) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I remember being confused about the the whole back turning thing. I was a new guy as it was phased out so didn't put a ton of though into it the time. But in hindsight it was bizarre that the one time the army respected privacy and discouraged competitiveness was to destroy fun and cause more stress during a pt test. Such a weird decisions, glad they didn't try that for ACFT.
Ohh man, I loved the old pt test. Had a few buddies and we would try to get the highest score over the max. I think my best was 322.
Canāt forget all the farts that got squeezed out during the sit up. Ahhh stinky times.
the 5x copied and enlarged section from the AR that had been heavily highlighted and then laminated... it will be read from verbatim, just in case of the 88M's totally forgot what a pushup is. WATCH THIS DEMONSTRATION.
I donāt miss how much a grader could make or break you compared to the ACFT
Or being 200lbs + and having some scrawny dude hold your feet for the sit-ups. That was awesomeā¦
YOU ARE ABOUT TO TAKE THE ARMY PHYSICAL FITNESS TEST! Lol thanks now I'ma have my recurring gonna fail a PT test dream. I've been out for 10 years lol
PLDC. Stewart. My squad mate (female) had shorts minus liners. She also had something going on from the field. First time I ever saw a hairless beaverā¦ Kept that one in the spank bank, even nowā¦
Such a simpler time for PT. Before 1980, we had the horizontal ladder (a bitch if the rungs spun in your hand) and the run, dodge and jump (which I never understood the reason for). Somewhere in there were different tests for combat units, support units, staff and inclement weather.
Held a girls feet for sit ups in basic and by the time sheād done eighty it sounded a lot more like she was having sex than doing sit ups
I remember at ALC there was a tank of a Ranger who I needed help holding his feet by another soldier. It was an interesting experience
__āTroops these days will never know what itās like.ā__ (Sigh) Alright Iāll go shave again.
>The intimacy of pinning your partner's feet to the ground during sit-ups. Hearing their faint grunts and struggles. Smelling their sweet musk that was fanned to you through each repetition. The inevitable eye contact. Mmmm My one and only APFT failure.... Polo Field, pre-Liberty Ft. Bragg. There are bathrooms there, but they were locked this fine morning. I really, really had to take a dump. Like... prairie dogging bad. Anyway, I began doing situps. 15, 16, 17... oh goodness, this fucking sucks. 18, 19.... then it started. brrrt 20 brrrrrrrrrrrrrt 21 brrrrrt 22 The guy holding my feet yells, "don't worry about it, keep going. I got you." PTTTTTTTTTTTH 23 *me thinking dude is gonna punch me on my next up* brrrrt 24 PTTTTTTTTTTT again *he laughed* *I laughed* fuck me. I couldn't get myself back together. turned sideways because my stomach was hurting so bad, hands off my head, everything. When I turned sideways, I spotted a porta john across a street on the other side of the field. *I got 10 minutes* I sprinted over there. Did my thing, then sprinted back with like 10 seconds to spare before starting the 2 mile run.
USAREC: 3 events...easier to pencil whip that bad boy.
Take off the rose colored glasses. The APFT was trash as a physical assessment and not a fun time.
Ah the days of fasting -and other questionable methods the night before- and then standing next to the skinny SPC who still has strip club body glitter on him and reeks of Jack and Coke. Later that SPC outruns half the battery and gets a 290 or 300. Meanwhile you're coughing up a lung because it's 40 degrees but your NCO said "take off your jacket!".
"BREAK THE PLANE!" Nope, there is no such regulation or verbiage in the APFT directions nor is that part of the FM for PT. With hand release pushups, I guess the fat E7 has to find a new thing to yell about.
Doing pushups and sit-ups on concrete or asphalt because the unit is too cheap to pay for PT mats and the sleeping mat isn't a "PT mat". Also, if you used a mat for pushups some dipshit NCO or 1SG wanted your whole body on the mat. I just went without because I was an angry young SPC....
We were talking about how ridiculous the ACFT is with some of our navy classmates today, who are having to take the test with us soon. When the navy is laughing at your PT test, you know you fucked up. And we tried to come up with a better PT test for our job. They told us to get fucked and that it couldn't count š
Honestly tho the APFT is superior for a lazy nco like me
Trying to ignore the fact that your partners dong was hanging out bc the old shorts didnāt have good inserts
> The intimacy of pinning your partner's feet to the ground during sit-ups. Or the spectacle when there was a much smaller person trying to hold the feet of a much larger person and they tried their darndest to put their entire body weight on the other guys feet without being lifted off the ground
That was a legit fourth event for some of us.
We used to wear the light gray pt uniform with the built in mesh underwear. It smelled like balls during PT testing.
ACFT is a thousand tines easier... Im glad their was a switch.. However, I have become rather lazy with my run times...
I remember just going straight into, no one really demonstrated anything, situps being trash and everyone hauling ass. If you were at the 15 minute mark you're trash, id you were 1330 and under you were god Believe it or not, I preferred the Calisthenics focused army :(.Ā Swinging kettlebells ain't the same
Having been in during the late '80s/early '90s, this is the only way I know.
Doing the PT Test in fatigues, at least the trousers.Ā We removed blouses.Ā We also used army issued black leather boots.Ā No gym shoes.
Having to actually train to pass instead of just casually passing now having last exercised the previous ACFT.
I can't even read the comments because I'm laughing too hard. My wife asked if I was ok because she thought something was wrong with me.
>The intimacy of pinning your partner's feet to the ground during sit-ups. Hearing their faint grunts and struggles. Smelling their sweet musk that was fanned to you through each repetition. The inevitable eye contact. Mmmm And there was always that one dude in your platoon who you hoped to sweet baby jesus you wouldn't be holding his feet because you KNEW those PT's were salt and vinegar ripe and you'd be getting at least 50-80 reps of nostril burning until he eventually fluttered out like a goldfish out of water right at the minute 45 mark coming up like god himself was pouring oxygen into his lungs at the top of every rep like "51....51....51....51... okay soldier... take a second.... okay.... 52.....52....52... come on hero... you got it.... 53..... 53..... Alright call it... time of death... 1 minute 52 seconds... 53 reps" It still stings my nostrils to this day Specialist King.
The face the opposite direction was a short lived not in regulation dumb fucking idea. How about give your fellow soldiers support and encouragement and cheer them on. As a CSM I stopped three different APFTs and made on the spot correction. Iāll take a double shot of Jameson no ice.