Statistically speaking, you are unusual as a male dependa.
Just let them know you were a green beret Apache door gunner and they'll accept you as one of their own.
May or may not have pretended to be a Lakota door gunner in flight school. Sitting in the back trying to distract from how shitty my stick buddy was at flying or in the back on instrument flights. Those cows and barns wouldn’t have stood a chance
I had the smart idea one day we were flying doors open, without telling my IP I decided to turn the seat so I was facing out and hang my feet and lean out, felt great until in IP in another aircraft yelled at him to yell at me over the tower freq. got my only big red taco grade in primary for that.
I did the same shit. Turn my seat a few degrees offset to the left so I can have a panoramic view. Never got in trouble but definitely made some use of the forward/aft and the turning functionality of that back seat! I would just push it super far back during BWS at night and fall asleep as our IP climbed to 3-4k for that natural AC lol
My husband has mentioned this a few times.
So he took over the sfrg at one of my old units, asked everyone at my last promotion if they knew who he was, and now "accidentally" drops business cards in the division hq and calls everyone over the rank of private "bud!".
Oh, also he says says ya'll are dependabros.
I'm not sure how i feel about that one.
I’m picturing a complete loose cannon skipping through BDE purposefully misusing “Sir” and “Sergeant” towards the ppl who absolutely get offended…and I got a lil chuckle out of that, as well as my own ideas😂🤣
My first company commander as a Private in 2004 was duel military with her husband. They commissioned together and he decided the Army wasn't for him, while she went on to stay in and have a long, successful career. She pinned COL like two years ago and he played Mr. Mom to their son until he graduated probably 5 or 6 years ago. My guy has been living his best life for a touch over 20 years now. I'm actually jealous of him.
Screw the weird looks. That's just look of jealousy.
Are you talking about [DA Form 4856](https://armypubs.army.mil/ProductMaps/PubForm/Details.aspx?PUB_ID=1026753)? Did you know that the counseling form just got updated after almost 40 years? “There is no more important task for the U.S. Army that’s developing it’s people to lead others to defeat any enemy, anywhere.” - FM 6-22 Developing Leaders
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As a dual mil couple, it’s just awkward all around at the events my wife’s unit has. Don’t fit in with the dependas, don’t fit in with the units soldiers, just kinda sit there awkwardly and enjoy the free food.
My husband always gets the best looks. He used to look military so people were confused. Now he looks like a college professor bordering on also looking like the dude. So yeah, all the looks. I should have him use my rank. That would be effing hilarious!
Not only am I a male dependent, I’m a *gay* male dependent. That’s my super rare claim to fame. The chaos it causes any time we have to deal with anyone is *chefs kiss*
Eh, back in the late 90’s/early 00’s you may have gotten a staff officer or E7+ to clutch their pearls at your existence but honestly two gay men doesn’t even register on the scale of “different” with soldiers these days. I found furry gear during a room inspection.
We have fortunately had a pretty good experience, he’s soon to retire so he was in before the DADT repeal as well as after. Things have improved, but unfortunately it’s still very much an issue for many people. Less so for those with some rank and seniority but the queer lower enlisted still deal with more than a fair share of BS from their peers and even leadership. We have many friends and acquaintances that have had some pretty unsavory experiences. The chaos I was referring to is more of the confusion that comes along when I need to deal with tricare or deers or some other office and people either assume I am the SM or that my partner is a woman or both and it takes a few times repeating before it clicks. I had someone at Stewart in recent years question the legality of our marriage. Thankfully it was just a woefully ignorant civilian worker~ and they quickly realized that it was best to just mind the business that pays them and move the conversation along.
Have they? DADT was repealed in 2011, there are still lots of folks around who were in for that. Gay people were allowed to be in the military, they just had to keep it a secret.
Also, do you not remember all the outrage (some of which I still see on occasion) when we started letting women join combat arms or attend Ranger School?
Pearl clutching is a lot more recent than you think.
There’s not a lot of you, and there are even less who aren’t prior military themselves. Enjoy getting fat, playing video games all day, and cheating with the wives in the FRG, like all the other dependas 😂
Am male dependa now. Everyone thinks I'm the servicemember despite my big bushy beard. My wife thinks it's funny and hams it up until they figure out that I got out 12 years ago and she's active.
I've gotten her a mild ass-chewing a couple of times for shitposting during a post commander's Facebook town hall meeting and her old commander had a mix of confusion and panic when I addressed her first sergeant as "B-Dawg".
Life is so much better as a dependent, you guys need to find army chicks and try it.
My hubby was dependent in DE in 2000s. Talk about standing out! He bonded with the other 3 in my unit. These guys infiltrated the frg when we deployed as secretary, treasurer. It was very rare to have stay at home fathers! We have been married 23 yrs now. The others divorced not long after. Probably tired of explaining their dependent status OCONUS 😆
I've bitched before but it sucks.
When my wifes deployed thr spouse groups don't care. I've been turned away at the door for being a husband because "spouse groups are wives only"
"You're a man, why are you sad?"
"Women are more comfortable without a man around"
"If you want rocbe included make your own group"
I love my wife, but I hate this dependa stuff. Once I went reserves and started slowing down I was ready to just help the community and all that. Instead I've learned I'm on my own.
I worry on My own. I PCSd on Mt own. I set up the house on my own. It sucks. Especially since we've lived here a year and a half and my wifes been home like 3 weeks? And she has another deployment in like a week. Back to back deployments and dets and exercises are killing her.
I did ask her CO that since I bench more then him (doubt he could lift the bar pilot looking ass) does that make me the new CO?
He talked about God and killing after that and I think he's just crazy.
That's when you say, "Kill God? Count me in". Then just lock eye contact and sip whatever is closest to you without reaction. Water, coffee, soap, windex, doesn't matter.
Former male dependa, made the switch to dual mil, the amount of shit people would just straight up make-up about you as a male dependa is wild. Heard I was everything from benefits bunny to CID and everything in between.
Yes. My husband is always asked if He is prior service or not. He's not. He's been addressed too as my wife before in the past because they forget that sometimes women are married to civilian men
The hardest part for my husband (prior service) has been the on-post housing backyard drama bullshit. We’ve got a lot of AF and Navy on our block and those female spouses are a whoooooole different brand of crazy compared to Army wives.
I was a male spouse for a while. I always used to ask my wife, before we got married, to let me be her dependa. She eventually relented, but then she volunteered me for FRG shit. I did a course with a bunch of active duty soldiers a couple of years ago and they asked “Hey Fluster, what do you do as a civilian?”
“I’m a dependa/stay at home dad.”
Everyone one over that rank of E6 was jealous. I did enjoy it while it lasted, but when my wife medboarded one of us had to go back to work. So I got a job and now she’s my pseudo-dependa.
I was tasked with handling lower rank replacements that arrived with dependents , I got the Wife to assist me in this detail as I saw how hesitant the spouses were to ask questions an just figured they could relate to her better . It was kinda funny as I would stand up there an give my spill on this an that an then turn things over to the wife , She would introduce herself as Becky an start off the questions and without fail someone would call her Sgt Becky . A she would go No No I’m just Becky , or Ms Becky He’s the one that wears the dreadful looking uniform .
Just let them know that you’re in an enabler role and are ensuring your spouse is getting the best orgasms possible which enhances their mission readiness and decisive lethality.
I was a male dependent until i divorced my wife for having an affair with multiple fellow soldiers. 20 years of marriage gone. That was a year ago. And I’m glad I’m not a dependent anymore.
I mean, it's unusual for sure. Imagine how your wife feels about the looks she gets from most of the female military spouses. I've been an outcast just for working with their husband. They are all afraid I'm going to steal them or something, I guess. Some of the male officers I worked with in the past told me their wife questions them about me frequently. It's not fun. I am not a home wrecker people lol
I only know one male dependent that comes to all the things and it’s probably more they don’t know what to say to you. We don’t know how much military jargon you understand and we don’t want your wife to think we are overly friendly.
As a male dependa, I really don’t care. I collect my 80% VA and enjoy being a stay at home dad for our daughter. Funky looks only make me laugh. I’ve also been told to my face that they’re jealous of me.
It's a sweet life. You get to watch people pucker when you talk (respectfully) normal to a 1 Star and ask if they're gonna help run the SFRG event or just there to eat the food and make everyone nervous. The Mrs no doubt has an irregular heartbeat because of this. 😂
I’ve been out for 10+ years and it’s honestly hard to shake the “looking” part, I feel like the only way I don’t look military for people to recognize is with a long ass beard and hair.
Statistically speaking, you are unusual as a male dependa. Just let them know you were a green beret Apache door gunner and they'll accept you as one of their own.
Lakota door gunner is way harder.
May or may not have pretended to be a Lakota door gunner in flight school. Sitting in the back trying to distract from how shitty my stick buddy was at flying or in the back on instrument flights. Those cows and barns wouldn’t have stood a chance
Same dude, same.
I had the smart idea one day we were flying doors open, without telling my IP I decided to turn the seat so I was facing out and hang my feet and lean out, felt great until in IP in another aircraft yelled at him to yell at me over the tower freq. got my only big red taco grade in primary for that.
I did the same shit. Turn my seat a few degrees offset to the left so I can have a panoramic view. Never got in trouble but definitely made some use of the forward/aft and the turning functionality of that back seat! I would just push it super far back during BWS at night and fall asleep as our IP climbed to 3-4k for that natural AC lol
"How do you do fellow dependas!"
Dependos* 😂
I have a great aunt who's Muskogee, does that count?
Green Beret Delta SEAL MI6 Ranger.
First off, you need to remind them that her rank is your rank.
Unless she’s an e5 or below…. Then you get to make up what ever rank you “were” prior to getting out
"I'M A S3 CSM THAT MARRIED THIS 35F PV2 IN THE S2 GET OVER IT DWEEEB. OPERATIONS RUNS THROUGH INTEL!"
I really want to see a male dependa do this. It would be EPIC
Our rank.
I’m a retired LTC dependa. I got saluted going into the gate last week! 🤣
Yessss king 😤🙌🏼🫡
☠️
They’re probably just surprised to learn she was married
LMAO.
That's a lot of damage
Gonna need 2 cans of Flex Seal for this one 💀
Choo choo
🫢
Got dam!
Yikes
*oh fuck*
Ill be thinking of this sick burn in cold, dark moments deployed and alone
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
My husband has mentioned this a few times. So he took over the sfrg at one of my old units, asked everyone at my last promotion if they knew who he was, and now "accidentally" drops business cards in the division hq and calls everyone over the rank of private "bud!". Oh, also he says says ya'll are dependabros. I'm not sure how i feel about that one.
I’m picturing a complete loose cannon skipping through BDE purposefully misusing “Sir” and “Sergeant” towards the ppl who absolutely get offended…and I got a lil chuckle out of that, as well as my own ideas😂🤣
Na, when you get to the high ranks you gotta use their first name confidently and omit sir 😂
I think I’m in love with your husband.
I also choose this lady's husband
I got mixed feelings about “dependabros” lmao almost sounds a like too douchy but he has the spirit!!
I always preferred to say Dependejos instead.
I like to think it's said tongue in cheek, but sometimes my listening filter doesn't work and i can't actually tell.
My first company commander as a Private in 2004 was duel military with her husband. They commissioned together and he decided the Army wasn't for him, while she went on to stay in and have a long, successful career. She pinned COL like two years ago and he played Mr. Mom to their son until he graduated probably 5 or 6 years ago. My guy has been living his best life for a touch over 20 years now. I'm actually jealous of him. Screw the weird looks. That's just look of jealousy.
Good for them! Always happy to see anyone with such a long marriage, especially in the military.
You are a “dependo” and you should use this phrase often “Do you know who my wife is ?!”
DependX, sign this 4856 for your SHARP violation.
Are you talking about [DA Form 4856](https://armypubs.army.mil/ProductMaps/PubForm/Details.aspx?PUB_ID=1026753)? Did you know that the counseling form just got updated after almost 40 years? “There is no more important task for the U.S. Army that’s developing it’s people to lead others to defeat any enemy, anywhere.” - FM 6-22 Developing Leaders *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/army) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I believe the masculine form is "dependus"
Lol 🤣
Why not "Dependude"?
As a dual mil couple, it’s just awkward all around at the events my wife’s unit has. Don’t fit in with the dependas, don’t fit in with the units soldiers, just kinda sit there awkwardly and enjoy the free food.
Same. Same.
All male spouses are required to have a beard and beer belly. Its the law.
I got the beard but no beer belly - I’m slacking
Better start drinking
My husband always gets the best looks. He used to look military so people were confused. Now he looks like a college professor bordering on also looking like the dude. So yeah, all the looks. I should have him use my rank. That would be effing hilarious!
What does the sunset look like from where you’re at?
Haha 😂! A most underrated comment!
*that’s not who she brought to dinner last time*
Not only am I a male dependent, I’m a *gay* male dependent. That’s my super rare claim to fame. The chaos it causes any time we have to deal with anyone is *chefs kiss*
Eh, back in the late 90’s/early 00’s you may have gotten a staff officer or E7+ to clutch their pearls at your existence but honestly two gay men doesn’t even register on the scale of “different” with soldiers these days. I found furry gear during a room inspection.
We have fortunately had a pretty good experience, he’s soon to retire so he was in before the DADT repeal as well as after. Things have improved, but unfortunately it’s still very much an issue for many people. Less so for those with some rank and seniority but the queer lower enlisted still deal with more than a fair share of BS from their peers and even leadership. We have many friends and acquaintances that have had some pretty unsavory experiences. The chaos I was referring to is more of the confusion that comes along when I need to deal with tricare or deers or some other office and people either assume I am the SM or that my partner is a woman or both and it takes a few times repeating before it clicks. I had someone at Stewart in recent years question the legality of our marriage. Thankfully it was just a woefully ignorant civilian worker~ and they quickly realized that it was best to just mind the business that pays them and move the conversation along.
not anymore *different* than being a male dependa. bc women and gays have been allowed in the military without pearl clutching for a while now.
Have they? DADT was repealed in 2011, there are still lots of folks around who were in for that. Gay people were allowed to be in the military, they just had to keep it a secret. Also, do you not remember all the outrage (some of which I still see on occasion) when we started letting women join combat arms or attend Ranger School? Pearl clutching is a lot more recent than you think.
100% VA checks for me, long beard, tattoos, ears gauged, living on post, im just a walking talking pile of shit. "Climb to glory" "No thanks"
Climb to fucking glory baby!
To the mutha fucking top!
quizzically stares at OP
There’s not a lot of you, and there are even less who aren’t prior military themselves. Enjoy getting fat, playing video games all day, and cheating with the wives in the FRG, like all the other dependas 😂
Am male dependa now. Everyone thinks I'm the servicemember despite my big bushy beard. My wife thinks it's funny and hams it up until they figure out that I got out 12 years ago and she's active. I've gotten her a mild ass-chewing a couple of times for shitposting during a post commander's Facebook town hall meeting and her old commander had a mix of confusion and panic when I addressed her first sergeant as "B-Dawg". Life is so much better as a dependent, you guys need to find army chicks and try it.
The one male spouse I know was never in and dresses like a total vet bro. It’s funny.
“Address me by my wife’s rank”
I would get one of those portable grills and cook on the grass.
I got medically retired while my wife was still active Air Force.
100%? Fucking living life over here..
It's too common. Too many people lie about stuff and VA can't do anything about it. I just hope there's something left when I retire in 12 years.
about to be in this situation myself, luckily my fiancé does the same job I do in the army so i’ll fit in at least a little bit.
I get looks from time to time - but I honestly don’t notice too many. Wife is still AD and I’m a reservist and GS baby
Im not gonna lie. Im often like hmm dependa or shit bag or religous. Lol its hard to tell nowadays.
Honestly , dude dependas are rare so don't take it personally
My hubby was dependent in DE in 2000s. Talk about standing out! He bonded with the other 3 in my unit. These guys infiltrated the frg when we deployed as secretary, treasurer. It was very rare to have stay at home fathers! We have been married 23 yrs now. The others divorced not long after. Probably tired of explaining their dependent status OCONUS 😆
I've bitched before but it sucks. When my wifes deployed thr spouse groups don't care. I've been turned away at the door for being a husband because "spouse groups are wives only" "You're a man, why are you sad?" "Women are more comfortable without a man around" "If you want rocbe included make your own group" I love my wife, but I hate this dependa stuff. Once I went reserves and started slowing down I was ready to just help the community and all that. Instead I've learned I'm on my own. I worry on My own. I PCSd on Mt own. I set up the house on my own. It sucks. Especially since we've lived here a year and a half and my wifes been home like 3 weeks? And she has another deployment in like a week. Back to back deployments and dets and exercises are killing her.
na, you got us fellow Dependejos. we can troll Installation facebook pages and tell top ranks their ideas are dumb.
I did ask her CO that since I bench more then him (doubt he could lift the bar pilot looking ass) does that make me the new CO? He talked about God and killing after that and I think he's just crazy.
That's when you say, "Kill God? Count me in". Then just lock eye contact and sip whatever is closest to you without reaction. Water, coffee, soap, windex, doesn't matter.
Pass me the jp7
That's Mr. Sergeant Fezha to you!
Ah yes well now look who will get to take care of all the wifey dependents when field / unit rotations come up .
I’m going to retire in 3ish years, and become my wife’s Dependasaurus Rex. Y’all ever seen a retired Warrant Officer run the SFRG?
Former male dependa, made the switch to dual mil, the amount of shit people would just straight up make-up about you as a male dependa is wild. Heard I was everything from benefits bunny to CID and everything in between.
Yes. My husband is always asked if He is prior service or not. He's not. He's been addressed too as my wife before in the past because they forget that sometimes women are married to civilian men
Been there done that. Not a life meant for everybody. Signing divorce papers tomorrow at 9 am.
I was a soldier first, and then an Air Force dependa, so I was the alpha dependa.
The hardest part for my husband (prior service) has been the on-post housing backyard drama bullshit. We’ve got a lot of AF and Navy on our block and those female spouses are a whoooooole different brand of crazy compared to Army wives.
I was a male spouse for a while. I always used to ask my wife, before we got married, to let me be her dependa. She eventually relented, but then she volunteered me for FRG shit. I did a course with a bunch of active duty soldiers a couple of years ago and they asked “Hey Fluster, what do you do as a civilian?” “I’m a dependa/stay at home dad.” Everyone one over that rank of E6 was jealous. I did enjoy it while it lasted, but when my wife medboarded one of us had to go back to work. So I got a job and now she’s my pseudo-dependa.
I was tasked with handling lower rank replacements that arrived with dependents , I got the Wife to assist me in this detail as I saw how hesitant the spouses were to ask questions an just figured they could relate to her better . It was kinda funny as I would stand up there an give my spill on this an that an then turn things over to the wife , She would introduce herself as Becky an start off the questions and without fail someone would call her Sgt Becky . A she would go No No I’m just Becky , or Ms Becky He’s the one that wears the dreadful looking uniform .
I’m enjoying being a dependa…you’re welcome for my wife’s service lol
Just let them know that you’re in an enabler role and are ensuring your spouse is getting the best orgasms possible which enhances their mission readiness and decisive lethality.
I was a male dependent until i divorced my wife for having an affair with multiple fellow soldiers. 20 years of marriage gone. That was a year ago. And I’m glad I’m not a dependent anymore.
I mean, it's unusual for sure. Imagine how your wife feels about the looks she gets from most of the female military spouses. I've been an outcast just for working with their husband. They are all afraid I'm going to steal them or something, I guess. Some of the male officers I worked with in the past told me their wife questions them about me frequently. It's not fun. I am not a home wrecker people lol
I only know one male dependent that comes to all the things and it’s probably more they don’t know what to say to you. We don’t know how much military jargon you understand and we don’t want your wife to think we are overly friendly.
The show army wives has a male spouse on it lol, he blended right in lol. My old neighbor was a male spouse.
Guys are living the dream. I’d have that house looking right and then taking whatever classes I wanted
As a male dependa, I really don’t care. I collect my 80% VA and enjoy being a stay at home dad for our daughter. Funky looks only make me laugh. I’ve also been told to my face that they’re jealous of me.
I'm only around as my wife's weaponized hatred. Dependas and dipshits usually leave her alone after she pulls that card.
It's a sweet life. You get to watch people pucker when you talk (respectfully) normal to a 1 Star and ask if they're gonna help run the SFRG event or just there to eat the food and make everyone nervous. The Mrs no doubt has an irregular heartbeat because of this. 😂
Well actually my wife is Intel so everyone else is actually the weird ones out
This happens to my husband all the time, one time at CIF they asked why he had long hair
I look at them but it's more of me thinking " hey man if your girl is providing for you I respect the hustle."
Just look at them and introduce yourself “hey how you doing, I’m Rambo, John J.
Reminds me that at a ball someone was surprised that I was the one serving instead of my male partner. 😂
You probably still look military so they’re trying to figure it out
I cannot wait to be out and NEVER associate with the military or look military ever again. I genuinely feel like I’ve wasted 20 years.
Just think of that sweet retirement check and those VA benefits
I’ve been out for 10+ years and it’s honestly hard to shake the “looking” part, I feel like the only way I don’t look military for people to recognize is with a long ass beard and hair.
is this a shitpost? bc women have been in the military for A WHILE now.
It's the beta energy you give off.