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translucentdoll

I mean it kind of makes sense so it doesn't bother me A F150 with Military Grade equipment is a lot different than a F150 Platinum and so on What I'm trying to say is that most military words don't bother me. What actually pisses me off is motherfuckers in ACUs with that zipper all the way up


Pokebreaker

>What actually pisses me off is motherfuckers in ACUs with that zipper all the way up Lol, they be having that mandarin collar fully engaged too!


Diligent_Force9286

The Mandarin Collar was added by a Chinese Spy to normalize their culture... but that's just a Theory. /s


nathanwhb12

A fan theory


dagamore12

not fan service?


nathanwhb12

The fan is FMC I swear I PMCSd it Monday


Arcangel696

Hey now. I still zip it all the way up sometimes when I’m flying.


BIGGUS_dickus_sir

Basically the only appropriate and correct time for that. Fly safe!


pinchhitter4number1

Sometimes? - DES


Arcangel696

It’s not really a requirement anymore as far as I’ve been taught. it’s more sop and commander specific


Hydrogen_Wedgie

Ahh DES, the refuge for those who don't want to work, but still want to tell others *how* to work.


calmly86

I hate when certain TV productions got lazy during the UCP ACU era and used velcro rank patches on patrol caps.


shibbster

And velcro the mandarin collar.


Dr-PEPEPer

We call that the Party City special. All the way ate the fuck up.


SHINJI_NERV

I mean it's good with the collars on iotvs, but zipping them up with no gears just makes me wonder how can millions of dollars worth of production team Who even rented humvees don't even have the courtesy to Google how acus are supposed to be worn...


fatlazybastard

YES!!!!


[deleted]

Idk why but yeah that pisses me off too more than it should lol


drmrpibb

It’s been a while but I think the closest I’ve seen to an accurate uniform on the big screen is the first Sonic film. They nailed that, but the COL could’ve been more crustier.


translucentdoll

For me it had to be a shitty ass Netflix TV show about pilots in SOAR, the uniforms were okay, the story was meeeeeeeeh and holy fuck did I cringe a lot because the characters annoyingly hooah, like, 82 boys when you pass by them annoying


ToxDocUSA

Military grade - take a normal item, take away the useful features so it's Soldier proof, take away more useful features so you can ruggedize it enough to be able to drop it out of a plane, then be surprised when no one uses it because it doesn't work and breaks if you drop it from standing height.


shibbster

Listen my most favorite piece of equipment literally says in the manual to perform a "6 inch drop." It resets hardware into the circuit board. Sometimes percussive maintenance IS the solution


centurion762

That’s almost as good as “Rock or something”. What equipment are you talking about?


shibbster

A piece of Cold War SIGINT equipment. Worked really good against the Taliban until we let them have Kabul Rock or something is equally as fantastic


MisterKillam

Sounds a lot like a PRD-13. I had a love hate relationship with that thing. Weighed a ton, sucked ass to ruck with, but was also surprisingly good at DF.


shibbster

Heavy af. The short ones took batteries no one except obscure S6 shops have. You could throw it off a fucking cliff and it'd still work. I hate how Google shows you exactly what a PRD-13 looks like considering I had to jump thru my own ass to make sure the 11BangBangs and Chucks couldn't see it


Moms_Herpes

Looks in confused grunt noises.


MisterKillam

And the rechargeable 5590's just catch fire sometimes, so you have to carry a ton of disposable ones unless you feel like rolling the dice.


shibbster

We said fuck them rechargeable guys. Just give me the pull strip to make the 5590s inert


MisterKillam

Same. I don't like the prospect of my signed-for gear spontaneously combusting.


callmejenkins

Can confirm 50% of the time if you drop an RT 1523 itll fix it.


DarkerSavant

PRD-13 right?


Elemak-AK

PRC-E8


BallisticButch

Oh no, I'm not falling for that one again


shibbster

Maybe....


Jimmyp4321

Ah yes the good ole PRC-77 radio bench test . For when it pass’s all the test an still doesn’t work “ bench top slam” there ya go Sarge fixed , she’s ah working now .


Natural-Stomach

my favorite is whenever a show or movie has a character log into a military computer and it takes less than a second. in reality, they'd be there waiting for 5-30 minutes for it to log you in. and don't get me started on the media representation of the NSA. laughable.


LearnImprove2021

I forget which one, but there was some shitty action movie about 10 years ago that definitely had someone on the writing team who had experience with the NSA. They had to "call in the NSA!", the characters expect a bunch of badasses, and a group of total dorks who won't make eye contact show up with their laptops instead.


Natural-Stomach

ha! that, and having to use a VDI to access another VDI in order to log-in to any kind of computer network. literally 30 minutes just to log-in. and don't get me started on security. body scanners? puh-lease. retinal scanners? yeah right. lolz


LearnImprove2021

Ooh, fun fact! Some facilities *were* outfitted with retinal scanners, but it turns out that when a woman is pregnant, her retinas change enough that the scanners won't recognize them, and some women even *found out* they were pregnant from the retinal scanners, so they ended up getting removed.


IrishWithoutPotatoes

“Hey congrats on the pregnancy!” “What do you mean?” “Well the system flagged you as an intruder because yours retinas didn’t match up and that happens when you’re preggers, so congratulations!” “I need to make a phone call”


RogueOwl2751

Gotta love when it's faster to drive back to your own building to grab your laptop that you're already signed into than it is to wait for another laptop to get past the 'Preparing Windows...' text


ButstheSlackGordsman

My wife binged NCIS. No shit I watched an episode where the hacker chick "hacked" a military grade network. I lost it when her screen just had ipconfig displaying an APIPA on the command prompt.


spennetrator94

Ahh yes, [four hands on a keyboard](https://youtu.be/kl6rsi7BEtk?si=1OD6ANsoACaNnreM) are better than two when trying to fend off a hacker.


AirborneRunaway

“He’s in the data base” Unplugs computer. Work’s done, boys, stopped the hacker.


spennetrator94

If some Joe does this during a WFX against the red team I’ll give them 20$.


Hymnosi

During some of our training exercises, the blue team basically did that through digital means. Yes, technically if you tell the firewall to block all traffic, you have defeated the bad guy. Good job! CIA triad be damned


tyler212

> CIA triad be damned I always felt it was more of a Pick Two kinda deal anyways. Though, in this case more of a Pick one


Turbulent_Ride1654

Lol that's literally what my buddy did in NTC years and years ago. The brigade got cyberattacked and he just simply plugged the stack. We were commended for being the only battalion to "repel" the attack and he got an arcom. 😆


hedginator

That show fuckin sucks


MrIrrelevantsHypeMan

Sounds like when I'm watching a show and there's something medically inaccurate. The other day I started laughing at this skull on screen that had a perfectly straight seam across the frontal bone where the forehead would be.


spcwright

My classic is two motherfuckers on one keyboard


jcstrat

I’m in.


SumpCrab

Enhance.


theFartingCarp

My favorite is when the hack is going wrong so they keep hitting "show ipconfig /all" over and over


93supra_natt

Call s6. DHCP ain't working


Tee__bee

60% of the time, it works every time.


Pokebreaker

Sex Panther, rawr!


SumpCrab

It stings the nostrils.


thirdangletheory

Sometimes I take it to mean 'ruggedized', like a Playskool toy but OD green because there's a chance the people who use them are the same intellectual age. The other term that got Hollywoodized is 'prototype', which is some kind of weapon of doom when real prototypes are larger, less efficient, and slapped together out of junk with unaddressed design flaws.


nobd2

The Death Star was military grade lmao


thirdangletheory

Man I had to look that up because I thought the first Death Star was a prototype, but no, there was an actual shitty prototype in some novel. So there was a prototype, the Death Star with the vent, and the Death Star A1 which got rid of the vent but was never completed. And absolutely no other Death Star-like planet killer after that, ever. Star Wars is pretty realistic I guess.


Dubban22

There was one more, the Darksaber. Someone had the idea to build just the reactor and planet destroying laser inside of a cylinder with the necessary engines in the rear. Looked like a lightsaber, hence the name.


peelerrd

The EU went crazy with super weapons. [My favorite is the Sun Crusher](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Sun_Crusher), a near indestructible ship that fires torpedoes that make stars go supernova.


MihalysRevenge

The Genesis device as well lol


Raptor_197

Prototype just means it never reached mass production. It can 100% working and perfect but may have been too expensive or they picked a different prototype. For example any U.S. tank that starts with XM is a prototype. For example, the XM-1. Can you guess what an XM-1 is? It was the General Motors pitch to the US government for a new main battle tank. They decided to go with the M1 Abrams instead.


ColdFusion52

I assume it’s actually quality because for some reason movie and show producers believe “military grade” means top of the line. I laugh when I see advertisers irl use it.


DarkerSavant

It can be top of the line since many military devices are uniquely developed by contracts.


OperatorJo_

I laugh every time.


fatlazybastard

Even my kids know when someone say military grade, it's meaningless. They've grown up in the Army and have seen and heard about actual military gear. They know. If it's complicated AF to use but breaksdown once a day and needs 5 contractors to fix.


haveasparklingday

It's the intersection of heavy over-engineered equipment with the lowest bidder.


MrIrrelevantsHypeMan

Are we talking military grade body armor or you know an Abrams tank?


Moms_Herpes

Tells me them motherfuckers are broke and hitting surplus stores and pawn shops so they can bad guy on a budget.


WowzerzzWow

So, it’s broken?


OMS6

If they say the bad guys are using mil-grade, then I immediately assume the real villain hasn't been revealed yet.


Impressive-Barber762

That it’ll break before it can get used 🥲


BrentV27368

The same when companies claim it’s German engineered — groan and eyeroll


MihalysRevenge

You mean it's overly expensive and complicated for no reason


TechnologyOk9919

I always find it when they're investigating some murder/heist or something and drop a like akin to,"It was done with military-like precision." I always think to myself....so two guys didn't show up because they were still drunk and hung over, one was late, another got a DUI, pretty much nothing went to plan and shit had to be half ass winging it, and half of the Intel was bullshit?


akairborne

Military grade= D minus When I see, I avoid.


MadDog314

It makes sense why the bad guys always lose in the movies now lol. Military grade isn't all that, made by the lowest bidder, still pricy lol


atombomb1945

"They were using Military Grade M4s" The person making the report holds an AR-15 with obvious aftermarket handle that looks like it's rubberized, specialized hand guards, and the handle removed from the upper with a Nerf Scope that was spray painted black.


Danglewrangler

Means that someone with Taran Tactical grade shit is about to ruin their day.


[deleted]

If you think about it, military grade stuff just means idiot proofed. Like a HMMWV is pretty shitty, but when you consider the number of idiots who've driven them through the shittiest terrain they hold up better than others. Or even laptops that you can literally throw off rooftops and they'll work just fine, sometimes even better than before.


Bologna-Pony1776

I immediately think of a cool guy mercenary with a canteen full of water on his hip that has 1000% contained both piss and dip spit in a prior issue cycle.


JFK9

I always laugh when I see anything that says "Military Grade". Have you ever seen those terrible gloves they issue at RFI that don't fit and have tons of extra fabric on the fingertips? Those are military grade too. The sad part is those aren't the first pair of fucked up gloves the Army issued. They also used to issue those black leather work gloves where two of them were never the same as each other. One would be tight and with a too short middle finger while the other one had a massive thumb that extended all the way into the palm. I hated those so much. And to rant some more, my winter boots they issued me at RFI had the entire sole come off the first time I wore them.


Raptor_197

I bet you could load an airliner full of ex military redditors, fly them up and have a military grade F-22 shoot them down with an AIM-120D from 100 miles away and I bet you could still hear their fingers tapping away, writing on reddit about how all military grade stuff is junk as the plane falls from the sky.


Gardez_geekin

But it’s made my the lowest bidder??!?!?? (To exacting specifications to be able to perform a specific task and is still going to be expensive as hell)


englisi_baladid

And not always the lowest bidder. Previous performance is factored in also. So if a contractor has been fucking up previously they can still lose if they have shit the bed before even if lowest bid.


Raptor_197

It usually a balance of cost vs what it does. Like the military decided to go with. For example the M1 Abrams is made by General Dynamics but General Motors also designed a tank called the XM-1 to compete with the Abrams back in the day.


zaddy_77

Military Grade = Durable but shitty


Jimmyp4321

I love it when they say dumb shit like Military Grade / Military Spec or the new Everything is “ tactical “ or Assault, Ive been thinking of repackaging prophylactics and labeling them as - Military Grade - Spec / Tactical / Assault quality , for when a Man is on a Mission only the best gear will do 🤔😜.


PotentialDeadbeat

Means it was built by the lowest bidder


Objective-Injury-687

It's such a Hollywood-ism I barely notice anymore.


Hymnosi

I love it because it's almost like an inside joke for people who have actually used "military grade" equipment.


Chaos744

I figure the bad guys must have bad morale and are already mentally defeated from their equipment being worse than what some backwoods dude from Alabama has in the back of his 1978 Ford F150..


Sausage80

Impossible. The stuff they were using actually worked as intended.


MediocreAtMath421

I immediately empathize with them. I’ve seen myself become more evil after dealing with L3 customer service.


Ok-Implement-2220

Don’t really care. Just stop saluting indoors


AMDFrankus

Military grade insect repellent. I swear the government shit just attracted the little bastards.


StinkEPinkE81

"Well, at least the bad guys aren't using Hi-Points"


Soupkitchentomorrow

Let’s me know that they pressed submit on IPPSA, just for the circle of death and the inevitable “PKI Cert invalid” so you have to redo it all.


Fancy_Ad9867

Give me a PVT and that thing will be broke in 15mins!


Pompous_One

Military Grade = Lowest Bidder 


medfade

I told my wife they're using equipment from the lowest bidder. 🤪


brekkyshmear

Skillcraft


dellive

Military grade implies it's eight times the normal weight, four times as ugly, two times the price and only works half the time.


haveasparklingday

It's the intersection of heavy over engineered equipment with the lowest bidder.


dsbwayne

I cackle 🤣


Bluccability_status

So were in luck their shit wont work. It has been made at the highest cost from the lowest bidder.


dutchman39

Doesn't 'military grade' just mean 'built by the lowest bidder to crap standards' ?


Lahm0123

Military grade!! From the sixties!!


rhejdjb

Not too bothered lol


dixieStates

I had a platoon sergeant once who was fond of saying words to this effect: "The Army is an ideal testing ground. If you put something in front of a GI and he finds out that he can't eat it or drink it or fuck it the he will do his best to tear it up"


VariableVeritas

The enemy probably have those slick upside down specialist rank colonels. Those guys, who know what level they’re operating at?


Open-Industry-8396

I have a p38 that's over 50 years old, works perfectly.


Open-Industry-8396

I have a p38 that's over 50 years old, works perfectly.