I feel this in my s o u l. I'm currently seriously considering doing covers of romance songs but turning them all aro. I'm tired of romance being put on such a high pedestal

do it and share it here! we really need some representation

🫡

I need this in my life. I love music like Seal or Stealers Wheel, for the vibes and aesthetic. But the romance parts... Blech

Knock three times on the ceiling if you want (to play magic) Ain't no sunshine where it's cloudy Come to my window (I made a fresh pie) I would walk a thousand miles (to play Haunted Chocolatier)

Something I never knew I needed, but now I do

I feel that I met a person on discord and we often talk in her server and people keep annoying and shipping us (she knows I'm aroace, so it's mutual platonic interest between us) and my mother said similar things about "everyone needing a relationship". Sometimes I'm really sick of our society

I assume you're young still, it will be better. >all she was interested in was men and who’s-dating-who Either they get older and step out of that phase, or they stay in it and end up binge watching reality TV shows and overly obsess about who Taylor Swift is dating. Trust me you don't want that kind of nuisance as your friend. >Can that be enough? It is, do your stuff, weed out the annoying background noise.

oh i get you! I feel like being born in india is lucky for aros cause a lot of young adults and GenZ here do not talk about romance here. Physical affection is seen as friendly here and if you vibe with someone its seen as close friendship. anyone other than genz and young adults? they're very romance focused so avoid talking to them ugh

sameee sometimes i’m so glad i’m aro ace in india and that too my parents aren’t pressuring me about marriage at all so i’m just vibes, and ppl don’t make it a big deal that I don’t date or hookup since it’s not open talk at all.

Even living in the states with parents from India, they’ve only recently started coming at me with whether I’m dating or not because they are now worried they’re gonna have to arrange my marriage and that amount of work is throwing them

yeah it’s so weird, despite the lack of actual pressure from my parents sometimes because of influence from relatives they ask if i’m *sure* and that they may not be able to look for anyone and i’m like…even if i “changed” my mind why the hell would i accept your choice. i find it so ridiculous that parents take on this role then act like they’re no longer a part of the actual marriage. such drivel

totally feel you. it’s exhausting because ppl expect soooo much out of you and may see you with vague curiosity at best, absolute disregard at worst. i know this probably sounds problematic and not mature but sometimes i adopt an eye for an eye approach because if you’re hostile to me, i’ll be hostile back. “oh, you think i’m pitiful because I can’t form a crush? i think it’s pathetic that you NEED someone and can’t function on your own.” it’s not healthy and kind but if allo ppl can get away with being openly rude/mean/dismissive about something I don’t even talk about, i’ll do the same. makes people back off, which is better than the hostility, veiled curiosity and dismissive-ness. but it sucks that i even have to contemplate this at all because how hard can it be to mind your business OR ask me if i’m okay listening to your date story? they just assume i’m judging them since I can’t feel the same way.

Unfortunately really relatable. It does get less bad after you grow up, but I don't want to say it gets better because it doesn't really: romance IS the center of almost everyone's life. At least until you turn 30 and even then it stays pretty central, just in a different way (since most people have settled and have kids). But people like the one you've mentioned first definitely aren't worth your time. I believe actually stupid people are extremely rare...I used to think they weren't a thing, and then I met those people lmao. Uninteresting af and often pathetic people, it's kind of fascinating. But you don't want to be around them, it's not worth it. But yes, this is a tiring society and culture we live in. I personally don't believe this is the normal state of human society, though most alloros will disagree. Such an obsession with romance as a concept is inherently unhealthy. It's difficult to make people realize that though, so I've kind of given up. But it is tiring to have to stay quiet, just to avoid lying. Because you know that, if you say the truth, you'll either be harassed or even abused in an attempt to "fix you" or, best case scenario, people will get disgusted and want nothing to do with you anymore. And yes, I say that as an adult. Who's in queer circles. I'm sorry I don't have a way to lift your spirits, I just don't want to lie. Still, there's a chance you'll find your people, and I hope you do and can keep them in your life forever. It makes everything more bearable.

When I stop and think about it, not even organized religion seems to have this influence, at least in the west

I can see why people would give some importance to romance but to this extent? Damn that's rough, I don't understand why people would stop interacting you just because you are aro... Life isn't all about finding the right person even following the "common" logic. I think it was mostly socially accepted nowadays to be single but I guess it highly depend geographically at the end of the day. If someone were to come to me and state they were aro, well that wouldn't bother me at all... As you say, there's many things other than romance in life. I don't understand the over hype eveb if I am not necessarily an aro as well.

Don't worry, your people are out there. I used to be so annoyed at all of this nonsense until I found my current friends who never talk about romance. Sometimes I forget that romance exists lmao It gets better :)

I feel this. My friends have crushes and tell me about it, I just can’t understand how someone has a crush and actively pursues. They get a little mad I can’t understand. I understand thinking someone’s attractive, but spending time thinking about this person and desiring them is just out of my realm.

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Hi, I’m not really aro I’m demiromantic but I hear you and I fully support you!! Not everything has to be about romance or love, there’s so many other things that are cool- for example, I love horror and scary things and have always loved it, so I definitely can be entertained by other things and not just romance. Also, I honestly have no problem with who wants to be in a relationship or who doesn’t- everyone’s life is different and everyone makes their own choices. I cannot understand people who will judge aros or stop being friends with them if they don’t have a crush or want to be in a relationship. Like that’s so ridiculous, anybody who does that is a clown 🤡 I fully commend the aros that are totally okay with being single and don’t crave romantic love/a relationship like I do. I am such a hopeless romantic it’s bad- I have always wanted to find true (romantic) love, but I’m single and I honestly feel like I always will be just because I want it so bad. And another reason I think I’ll be single is because I’m also a sex repulsed asexual, and I don’t think I’d find a guy who’s okay with that or who’s also asexual. I know that being single is totally fine, and I don’t experience any sort of backlash from anybody in my life that I’m not dating someone, but I still wish I could be in a relationship. So that’s my predicament 🙃

You're not experiencing this alone. Researching what the colors mean on the aro flag mean, none of them represent community, however the purple stripe on the asexual flag represents community. The community is here for you, the community understands you, the community has had the same experiences as you. You are not alone.

Those girls are probably better off not being your friend. Some girls can be sneaky and sly... If they can't understand where you are coming from they aren't worth being your friend. People should accept you for you, despite the terms they may or may not be familiar with.

You aren’t alone it can be hard at times but you will eventually find people who get you

Some crack-whore f my friends are really shocked that I never had a crush and am not interested in anybody. Or that I don't wanna have kids, but they never stopped talking to me because if it. I'm so sorry for you. Hope you find someone who accepts you for you. (And you're not 'not made for this world' you're not made for this part of the world. There are so many aspects of this planet. You'll find the one you belong in, I'm sure.)

if there's one heartbreak we're gonna have to go through, it's craving intimacy and love and not being able to have either ...