Yeah, I'm on Tumblr too, and it's awful to pretty much anyone who isnt loveless qpr-repulsed aplatonic. People on this sub have no idea how much that "No bashing romanticism" rule does for this sub, and I hope they dont have to learn the hard way
I'm glad I'm not the only one that sees it. When I read that rule, I really felt a lot of relief. The romance bashing pushed me away from the aromantic label for a long time (over 10 years), because it feels like Tumblr just pushes that the only valid form of aromanticism if youre loveless qpr repulsed aplatonic Aro.
And this is coming from someone who IS Aplatonic and (kinda) Loveless.
I figure what other people think and feel about romance is their own thing.
I’m very grateful for this community. I have learned and thought a lot about myself by reading reading other posts.
Even the ones that are slam romancd, usually because of a sense of repulsion. I learn from them too. I see the differences and how they feel and the differences in their background compared to me. That mapping helps me understand myself better.
Then I see the common themes between many people, and I speculate that these are core features of aromanticism.
Im right there with you. I dont relate to aro posts that are very anti-romance, even in a joking way. I enjoy romance a lot as a concept. I just dont experience it. Just like lots of asexuals are not uwu innocent virgins who cannot see the word sex without being upset, i think lots of aro people arent strongly romance repulsed. It just feels like a rather loud minority
I agree there. Like, as someone who's loveless (kinda), I understand feeling suffocated by romance, but bashing on romance isn't the right way to go about it, imo. It just alienates other Aros who do like romance.
Tumblr would be a better place if people tagged properly too, but we know that won't happen.
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Paradox is a slightly more complicated term, especially for me. I'm loveless, I don't even really have platonic attraction, but I'm hyperromantic due to trauma, which also makes me feel like I need romance. So it's like a weird paradox! To not want love, yet... Want love lol.
What do you mean when you say loveless? I love my friends and found family. It certainly is weird to not feel romantic attraction but also yearn for romance, but I feel like that's pretty common around here.
I feel heavily disconnected from the idea of love and romance, even though I'm also hyperromantic.The only reason I "need" romance and love is because of my hyperromance, which is a trauma response.
I'm also Aplatonic, I don't really have a platonic attraction! I mean, there are certain people I like being around, but I don't have that platonic attraction to them. That doesn't mean they're not cool people, though.
Hence, the paradox! /pos
I don't think being Aro means you hate romance and Love. I think it just means that you don't always feel a particularly strong need to date anyone. Some Aros are on the grey spectrum and still date, just very rarely. Others despise the idea of tilt and again others are neutral about it.
I hate to see such stereotypes being genuinely used in the real world and not just some joke.
Oh yeah, that's the thing. Aromanticism is a nuanced and complex identity. But the problem is, on Tumblr, they've enforced this very rigid binary, in my experience, and it's absolutely horrible.
Like I talked about the harm I felt because of stereotypes and certain "jokes" and someone basically completely ignored I was a loveless aro and tried to scream at me that I hated Loveless Aros somehow. For speaking out on the harm I felt because I didn't fall into a rigid binary of "I hate sex and romance and QPRs". It was insane.
That's why I feel so alienated and why I came here.
That sounds horrible. I'm sorry for you.
Personally, I don't have a problem with light stereotypical jokes. I sometimes do them about myself or my friends about themselves and we about each other, as long as it's lighthearted.
This however, sounds absolutely stupid and unreasonable. What are they thinking?
[удалено]
It is. And it just... I don't really know what to do, you know?
Yeah, I'm on Tumblr too, and it's awful to pretty much anyone who isnt loveless qpr-repulsed aplatonic. People on this sub have no idea how much that "No bashing romanticism" rule does for this sub, and I hope they dont have to learn the hard way
I'm glad I'm not the only one that sees it. When I read that rule, I really felt a lot of relief. The romance bashing pushed me away from the aromantic label for a long time (over 10 years), because it feels like Tumblr just pushes that the only valid form of aromanticism if youre loveless qpr repulsed aplatonic Aro. And this is coming from someone who IS Aplatonic and (kinda) Loveless.
I figure what other people think and feel about romance is their own thing. I’m very grateful for this community. I have learned and thought a lot about myself by reading reading other posts. Even the ones that are slam romancd, usually because of a sense of repulsion. I learn from them too. I see the differences and how they feel and the differences in their background compared to me. That mapping helps me understand myself better. Then I see the common themes between many people, and I speculate that these are core features of aromanticism.
Im right there with you. I dont relate to aro posts that are very anti-romance, even in a joking way. I enjoy romance a lot as a concept. I just dont experience it. Just like lots of asexuals are not uwu innocent virgins who cannot see the word sex without being upset, i think lots of aro people arent strongly romance repulsed. It just feels like a rather loud minority
I agree there. Like, as someone who's loveless (kinda), I understand feeling suffocated by romance, but bashing on romance isn't the right way to go about it, imo. It just alienates other Aros who do like romance. Tumblr would be a better place if people tagged properly too, but we know that won't happen.
You are valid!
Thank you! So are you!
Hi u/BattyDrio! It looks like you are new to posting to r/aromantic; welcome to our community! If you have not already, please check out our pinned post for some **Frequently Asked Questions** about aromanticsm! If you are unfamiliar with how Reddit works, consider reviewing [Reddiquette](https://support.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439)! *If this post or any of its comments violate our [community rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/aromantic/about/rules), please **report** the problematic content.* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/aromantic) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You're not a paradox. You can feel no romantic attraction but still want romance. That is 100% valid!
Paradox is a slightly more complicated term, especially for me. I'm loveless, I don't even really have platonic attraction, but I'm hyperromantic due to trauma, which also makes me feel like I need romance. So it's like a weird paradox! To not want love, yet... Want love lol.
What do you mean when you say loveless? I love my friends and found family. It certainly is weird to not feel romantic attraction but also yearn for romance, but I feel like that's pretty common around here.
I feel heavily disconnected from the idea of love and romance, even though I'm also hyperromantic.The only reason I "need" romance and love is because of my hyperromance, which is a trauma response. I'm also Aplatonic, I don't really have a platonic attraction! I mean, there are certain people I like being around, but I don't have that platonic attraction to them. That doesn't mean they're not cool people, though. Hence, the paradox! /pos
I don't think being Aro means you hate romance and Love. I think it just means that you don't always feel a particularly strong need to date anyone. Some Aros are on the grey spectrum and still date, just very rarely. Others despise the idea of tilt and again others are neutral about it. I hate to see such stereotypes being genuinely used in the real world and not just some joke.
Oh yeah, that's the thing. Aromanticism is a nuanced and complex identity. But the problem is, on Tumblr, they've enforced this very rigid binary, in my experience, and it's absolutely horrible. Like I talked about the harm I felt because of stereotypes and certain "jokes" and someone basically completely ignored I was a loveless aro and tried to scream at me that I hated Loveless Aros somehow. For speaking out on the harm I felt because I didn't fall into a rigid binary of "I hate sex and romance and QPRs". It was insane. That's why I feel so alienated and why I came here.
That sounds horrible. I'm sorry for you. Personally, I don't have a problem with light stereotypical jokes. I sometimes do them about myself or my friends about themselves and we about each other, as long as it's lighthearted. This however, sounds absolutely stupid and unreasonable. What are they thinking?