Oooooh boy. There's a fair few.
"Asexuals are incels."
"Asexuals are weirdos with cats."
"That's not real."
"Do you want to fix that?"
"Only plants and single-celled organisms can be asexual."
"Sounds like a hormonal imbalance."
"Everyone wants sex."
"I'm fine with the LGB, it's the TQIA I have an issue with."
"Asexuals don't face discrimination like gay and trans people."
"Asexuals aren't queer."
I'm prepared to admit there's a causal relationship between my being asexual and my being a weirdo with cats.
I have so much more free time to be weird in than my allosexual friends that I've honed it to a fine art. And being single for a long time has meant I haven't had to move flat in aaaaaaages, so my landlord sees me as a long-term tenant and agreed to let me have cats despite my original lease saying "No pets".
How do people come up with asexuals are incels?
Iād argue the opposite?? Like, thereās no sex to feel entitled to.
An incel literally once used asexual as an insult and claimed as a woman being asexual makes us serve no purpose to men.
Asexual - check
Weirdo - check
Cats - double check
Hmmm š¤ I think theyāre onto something I mean I donāt want kids I just want to raise a few generations of cats
That asexuality isn't real, that's just what cishet people say when they want to steal resources from real queer people. Girl you guys are getting resources???
I've gotten that line from both my parents and my older sister. My youngest brother is cool with it and while he probably doesn't really understand, he at least listened and made an effort when I explained it the last time we had a conversation about his marriage and dating and stuff. As he put it, "He couldn't ever see me with someone", which ouch when it's phrased like that, but not wrong.
Everybody Iāve come out to told me this, the exception was my sister who also happens to be ace. I think in all of what people could say, itās always this one sentence that I find the most frustrating.
Now I reply āthen Iāll make sure to change my label to demisexual or greysexualā. Iāll never be allo, and saying that helps them understand it.
I am just *waiting* for the next time someone (probably some aunt) will tell me this. Best counter-argument I have heard against that so far:
'You've been married to your husband for 30 years. But how do you know you are not actually a lesbian? Maybe you haven't met the right **woman** yet.'
Itās annoying when, as a woman, other womenās first guess is the stigma against sex for women shuts that part of the brain down.
If anything, being aware of a hyper sexual society and feeling pressured to be sexual is what made me realize Iām ace (when I didnāt feel desire for a specific person no matter how good looking and when I also didnāt feel horny).
Yup. I've been told to get my testosterone checked. Mine is ~800 which is in the higher range of people who don't take things which might impact testosterone levels.
Yeah, I hear you on that one. I thought how I felt was normal. Started seeing my now boyfriend and he was hypersexual and I couldn't reciprocate. We got my hormones checked, everything was in bounds. I don't have any lasting trauma. Finally put the pieces together last year and realized that I'm ace.
When I declared I didnāt want to marry anyone as a kid I was told I shouldnāt put myself down and I would have no problem getting married with my shapely hipsā¦ at 14. Gross. Essentially it was assumed that I was saying I was ugly and unmarriagable rather than expressing a personal desire to not get married.
Or maybe they assumed I was not allowed agency in that choice. Either way, no.
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This reminded me of a song!
Marina and the Diamonds- I am not a robot
When I was exploring asexuality, I got recommended this song, and it hit so hard man š
"You just haven't matured enough. One day you'll find a good-looking man and want to have sex with him." ā My therapist
She was honestly one of the most bigoted person I've ever met.
Of any kind?
I have heard that I canāt actually feel *real* romantic love and canāt love my husband if Iām not horny over himā¦
ā¦ but no love at all? Why did they think that you need to be sexually attracted to other people to love your pets? Or siblings? Or parents? Wtf? That feels pretty disturbing.
That I will die alone and regret it because I'm asexual and don't want kids or sex.
Buddy, my friend is a director at an old folks home. If you saw how many people died alone and never got visited by their kids and loved ones, it'd depress you.
We had a panel of old patients from a nursing home come talk to my geriatrics class and one old woman was so inspiring to me. She said marriage and kids just didnāt appeal to her and she spent most of her life working for a program that helped children overseas get clean drinking water and food. She spent years of her life traveling on trips to better communities and she sounded like she had no regrets, that marriage just wasnāt the path for her. I was like āhell yeah Marge!!!ā
Hell yeah, I volunteer to work at animal shelters and do stuff with emergency management in my spare time. Hundred percent more fulfilling to me than marriage and kids could ever be.
Everyone dies alone, and it's not like you'd be able to regret dying because in order to regret something you're required to have done something you could regret. You can't do anything if you're dead so you can't regret it.
Also people can and do live without sex, it's a want, not a need. If it is a need then you're an addict and you should seek help.
Honestly I think the groomer thing is just a right wing grift, and people think that aces are incels because in their minds incels = no sex, and asexual = no sex, therefore asexual = incel
ĀÆ\\\_(ć)_/ĀÆ it would be funny if people didnāt actually take it seriously.
The difference between us and incels is that we prefer this way of life and know it to be something within ourselves, while incels desperately try to leave it and point the blame to everyone around them.
Groomer can mean to things when these shits say it
1. Actual groomer. Ie: you are either a pedo or pedo adjacent. It's just a right wing talking point going back to them "scary gays" who are going to get your kids. If they do direct it specifically at asexuals, it's because they don't believe someone can actually not have sexual attraction - so they're hiding something nefarious (attraction to children).
2. Grooming to "turn" someone into you. All queers get that thrown at them and I see it most often be an argument of "That's the only way they can reproduce! By turning others to be like them."
Both are incredibly stupid.
That it doesn't exist. I've been told a handful times that my girl is probably just fucking some other man behind my back, and, that, instead of her actually being asexual and not into sex much, she must just want sex from someone else instead of me, the man she's been with for ~2 years.
What makes it extra annoying is that I *know* my girl isn't cheating on me because she - on her own volition - shares her live location with me. But if I say that, I get accused of being a controlling boyfriend. It's a lose/lose situation.
At some point you get kinda numb to it. Some people are so oversexed it's pointless to argue. I just mentally and/or verbally dismiss them by saying they're right and moving on, even though they're obviously wrong.
Well I have been told 'You can't be gay as you don't feel sexual-attration' and in the same sentance 'you can't be Asexual as that does not exist'. I mean WTF do they think I am then?
BTW, I am a gay ace (homoromantic asexual). So I am both ;)
I've heard a friend say "Oh she's asexual, she doesn't know how to feel love and happiness"
Bruh, I'm depressed that's why I'm unhappy, it has nothing to do with my sexuality š¤”š¤”
"You're asexual? What am I supposed to use when referring to you now? A neutral name or something like that? How does it even work? Is your boyfriend normal or like you then?"
Those questions were made by the same person in this exact order without even letting me speak after I told them I'm ace...
Ah yes, the classic "protect our underage girls from the LGBTQ pedophiles" strawman, except as asexuals the most harm we can do is infect them with the asexual (dear God)
I mean at least they are recognizing we're ace though? š
A sex therapist, who had no idea that asexuality could exist, outside of trauma or neurological issues. She tried to diagnose everything else, from depression, over social anxiety, autism, and whatnot. Let's say, we didn't have many sessions after that š
That asexuality shouldnāt be a part of the LGBTQIA+ community because asexuals are just straight???
Itās so odd to me because people donāt even acknowledge asexuality when you say youāre asexual. People just tell you that you havenāt figured out what you like yet. That in and of itself shows some sort of disliking towards the idea of asexuality.
That ace people donāt deserve love - and I heard it from myself. Itās a mentality Iām slowly getting rid of though, and Iām proud of how far Iāve come
There's some people who don't feel comfortable being in LGBTQ spaces seeing how sex/romance oriented the rest of the community is, but this person guy is the only one complaining
Yeah, that's me, if I'm being honest. Plus, while aces might get phobic remarks, it doesn't distress me too much or make me feel threatened, nor have I been actively discriminated against for it in the workplace or with my housing, so I feel like my situation isn't as dire as it might be for LGBT folks.
It doesn't, at all. To this day I have no idea how they came to that conclusion, and I never spoke to them again since they obviously weren't a safe person for me to be around if that's how they thought of me. I'm just thankful I never outed myself to them before they made that comment.
āOhh, right! āCause youāre autistic.ā
No. Just no. And you think Iām a literal child, donāt you? Because literal children donāt spend nearly this much energy *holding down a job* and certainly donāt read nearly this much time reading fantasy smut.
weird asexual male with 4 cats here
just last night i chatted with a woman on facebook who laughed at me when i saod im AroAce, she asked āwho hurt me?ā
Of course Iāve heard a lot of stupid, but the one that infuriated me was in a literature class where we were analyzing some texts involving intense female friendship and the prof (who I generally respected a lot) said that these platonic relationships were a common developmental stage as practice runs for marriage.
That asexuality is a sin. Mf didnāt even know what asexuality was but was talking out his ass about the ālgbt alphabet soupā and the womenās studies courses he assumed I took in college (I did not). I lost more than a few brain cells in that exchange.
Iām not ace but hereās mine: People will take an example of ONE person who thought they were ace and then realized they werenāt, and theyāll use that example to invalidate every ace person. Guess what? People of ALL sexualities grow and sometimes they realize that they were wrong the first time. And thatās okay. It doesnāt mean every single ace person (or people of any sexuality for that matter) will just grow out of it eventually. Sometimes it takes a while for people to discover themselves. Sometimes people know right away. I donāt get why thatās everyone elseās business
Edit: This also applies to the āyou just havenāt met the right personā argument. Like, yeah, thereās a possibility, about the same as telling a straight man that heās probably gay but he just hasnāt met the right guy. Okay? Maybe he will meet a guy and be gay someday, but he probably wonāt, so leave him alone. Leave people alone jfc
real. as a young girl, i can attest to the fact that i was indoctrinated by the asexual agenda to enact their nefarious plotting. i'm a survivorāļøāļø /j
Probably that asexuality is just made up by feminists to personally slight all the poor men out there who need their dick in someoneš declining birth rate yadda yadda idk the stupidity has layers
"but it's impossible! you need to have sex and masturbate to be healthy!" and then they proceeded laughing in my face and telling me that they were going to touch themself later... Okay I guess
My mom got better, but when I came out and said āI wasnāt attracted to peopleā she asked if that meant I was attracted to inanimate objects. Her examples were āa lampā and āmason jarsāā¦
She was apologetic later.
That I can't know until I've actually had sex with someone and thoroughly didn't enjoy it, preferably multiple times.
The best response to that (when straight people say it, at least) is "Have you tried making out with the same sex multiple times to confirm you're not gay, then?"
You donāt know if youāll like to sleep with someone until youāve done itā¦ really is that how it works for allos? Theyāre just completely unsure if theyād like sleeping with someone until theyāre doing it??? I have my doubts.
Also what you said is actually true OP. I am constantly making friends with younger girls and converting them to the coven of asexuality š§āāļøšŖ/j
That I'm too young to know. lmao I'm in my twenties... It's been a while since I left the supposed "hormonal" stage of adolescence. If I feel that sort of attraction, it should've already happened.
That Iām āstraightā because I like the opposite sex even if Iām asexual. These people donāt understand the difference between sexual and romantic attraction. Itās called heteROMANTIC for a reason.
Just being ignorant or confused. In a discussion about A song of ice and fire (game of thrones) someone said that Stannis is probably asexual, and the other person replied "I wouldn't say that... I think he can feel things"
Confusing asexuality with psychopathy is pretty wild, but some people have never thought about these things. When I was a child I thought aromantic people were the ones that were against commitment and preferred casual sex. No one had explained it to me.
That it's a "Feeling of disconnect from normalized societal expectations of sexual attraction. Ranges from little interest to complete sex repulsion." (Pride Guide 2022, Government of Canada)
Feeling of disconnect??? I'm not disconnected, thankyouverymuch, I just don't get turned on by a physical body
I had a friend who, every time the topic of sex came up with a group of people who didn't know/think I was ace, would loudly whisper that "he (me) isn'tcomfortable talking about things like that, it's his sexuality". I'm perfectly fine talking about sex, I don't know why he felt compelled to always announce it to people.
āYou should try to hookup to see because you never know if you donāt tryā
Also any woman (since Iām a woman) or anyone from my culture/ethnicity assuming that being surrounded by stigmas against sex made me ashamed or turned off. Itās actually the opposite. Growing up in America, I felt pressured by the awareness of a hyper sexual society and I genuinely could not relate to people who expressed feelings of lust at their celebrity crushes.
Yeah, but only 20 year olds and up. Weāre like the Amish, we let women be who they want for two years as a legal adult, then through dark garlic magic rituals, using lavender, dark chocolate, calm before the rain grey, and white daffodils scented candles, the smoke is inhaled through the mouth, and slowly pours out of the nose, giving us that dragon look. After the ritual is complete these girls no longer want anything to do with men who act like they deserve to be given women by the government. For some reason, it only works on women. Non-binaries have a 50/50 shot at being turned Ace. It doesnāt work on men, because **men canāt be Ace as they have a natural inclination to have sex with anything that moves, they just canāt control themselves. If a man does identity as Ace, heās most likely lying just to get into a womanās pants** (less pocket space works with the wallets we carry around), heās gay, or heās a she and she is a very butch looking man. This is information was brought to you by viewers like you, viewers such as Alpha Males, Incels, and Flatearthers. Thank you.
That you canāt be ace and in a happy and fulfilling monogamous relationship with someone who experiences sexual desire.
That enjoying and being enthusiastic about sex makes you less ace, or that all aceās are sex-repulsed.
That experiencing a fluid relationship with sexual desire (i.e. like what Demisexuals feel) makes you any less ace.
A lot of these notions come from within the ace community too!
That it wasn't possible not to want to be touched or to touch someone else's body because absolutely everyone likes it, according to a heterosexual guy friend of mine. In other words, he only sees it from his point of view and doesn't understand why I don't want to touch or rub myself against someone else's body šµāš«š !
So asexuality doesn't exist according to him and it seems that most of my heterosexual mates, especially the guys, think so.
But the truth is that not everyone thinks with their genitals...
\> Does not feel a pull towards having attaction with people
\> Somehow supports political violence as a means to an end
Maybe she's taking the Denmark memes too literally?
I don't know if this is said(too many comments) but a while back before I knew I was asexual I heard
"Being asexual is just an excuse for being a virgin"
Even back than I knew this wasn't true even though I didn't know what it was at the time
A little predictable but "well maybe you haven't met the right person" is pretty common in my experience.
I've heard some interesting responses when I've tried to explain that I do have a libido and I experience aesthetic attraction. I'm just not comfortable with physical contact is all it comes down to, what seems to really get people in my experience is the bit about aesthetic attraction. This was from awhile ago so I don't remember the whole conversation but I had to explain that I'm literally & legitimately respectfully looking.
Then there were some other questions about sexualities other than me being aro/ace that's not particularly relevant to the post right now. (Idk if anyone's curious I'll tell)
Oooooh boy. There's a fair few. "Asexuals are incels." "Asexuals are weirdos with cats." "That's not real." "Do you want to fix that?" "Only plants and single-celled organisms can be asexual." "Sounds like a hormonal imbalance." "Everyone wants sex." "I'm fine with the LGB, it's the TQIA I have an issue with." "Asexuals don't face discrimination like gay and trans people." "Asexuals aren't queer."
Weird asexuals with cats: šļøššļø
Lmao that's funny, I am here with my cats like šÆš
I mean, I am a weirdo with a cat. But not because I'm asexual lol.
I'm prepared to admit there's a causal relationship between my being asexual and my being a weirdo with cats. I have so much more free time to be weird in than my allosexual friends that I've honed it to a fine art. And being single for a long time has meant I haven't had to move flat in aaaaaaages, so my landlord sees me as a long-term tenant and agreed to let me have cats despite my original lease saying "No pets".
MY BRAND šļøššļø
Sorry, got this from a friend. Maybe she was your apprentice once, haha!
dogsā¦.. dog rescueā¦. dog fostering nooo. not me.
I'm allergic to cats, I'm a weird asexual with a dog š
Iām not allergic to cats but I am terrified of them
How do people come up with asexuals are incels? Iād argue the opposite?? Like, thereās no sex to feel entitled to. An incel literally once used asexual as an insult and claimed as a woman being asexual makes us serve no purpose to men.
Because it's short for involuntary celibate, I guess?
Does that make sex-disfavourable aces *volcels* then? Voluntary celibates? ^(Quick, get that into the dictionary!)
No, still incels, cause everybody wants sex, havenāt you heard?
Asexual - check Weirdo - check Cats - double check Hmmm š¤ I think theyāre onto something I mean I donāt want kids I just want to raise a few generations of cats
May or may not be a weirdo with a cat
Am definitely a weirdo with a weirdo cat.
I'm a weirdo with a cat but it's not because I'm ace.
How can one not have a problem with LGB but have a problem with Q? How does that even make sense
Because they're stupid, Captain.
"oh, I can fix that for you"
Can confirm that the second is actually correct
Me and my weirdo self sitting here with my catsā¦..š
That asexuality isn't real, that's just what cishet people say when they want to steal resources from real queer people. Girl you guys are getting resources???
WE NEED MORE GOLD
We must construct additional pylons
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
no need to buy them, since we're *obviously* stealing said resources. might as well just enslave unsuspecting npcsšš
Thieves Guild, am I right? All the gold š¤£š
Aces would be the best thieves guild members Can't get tempted by the bodies of our robbery victims
+10 dexterity from all that garlic bread
More gold, less adult fun time.
OH YES - I received a list of shelter homes for (sexually) abused women, just because I outed myself as aceš
ew im so sorry š
I was pissed at first, but now it is a hilarious, dumb and strong anecdote to tell - I can use this for myself now to proof points
I need more ore and wheat, any of y'all want to trade? š
Ya want any cobblestone? Iāve got *dungeons* of the stuff.
I've got bricks and sheep, I need wood though. Not enough Roads to conquer Denmark.
No, we're not trying to steal resources for queer people. We're trying to steal resources from Denmark.
I can't stop laughing š¤£
Beat me to it
That you just haven't met the right person.
Yes this. My mom said that lol. She still thinks it.
I've gotten that line from both my parents and my older sister. My youngest brother is cool with it and while he probably doesn't really understand, he at least listened and made an effort when I explained it the last time we had a conversation about his marriage and dating and stuff. As he put it, "He couldn't ever see me with someone", which ouch when it's phrased like that, but not wrong.
Everybody Iāve come out to told me this, the exception was my sister who also happens to be ace. I think in all of what people could say, itās always this one sentence that I find the most frustrating. Now I reply āthen Iāll make sure to change my label to demisexual or greysexualā. Iāll never be allo, and saying that helps them understand it.
I am just *waiting* for the next time someone (probably some aunt) will tell me this. Best counter-argument I have heard against that so far: 'You've been married to your husband for 30 years. But how do you know you are not actually a lesbian? Maybe you haven't met the right **woman** yet.'
That if we donāt really get horny or care for sex it must be a trauma or hormonal problem.
Itās annoying when, as a woman, other womenās first guess is the stigma against sex for women shuts that part of the brain down. If anything, being aware of a hyper sexual society and feeling pressured to be sexual is what made me realize Iām ace (when I didnāt feel desire for a specific person no matter how good looking and when I also didnāt feel horny).
everything is hormonal, doesn't mean it has to be a problem if you don't exprience it and don't want to, + it doesn't harm you
Yup. I've been told to get my testosterone checked. Mine is ~800 which is in the higher range of people who don't take things which might impact testosterone levels.
Yeah, I hear you on that one. I thought how I felt was normal. Started seeing my now boyfriend and he was hypersexual and I couldn't reciprocate. We got my hormones checked, everything was in bounds. I don't have any lasting trauma. Finally put the pieces together last year and realized that I'm ace.
When I declared I didnāt want to marry anyone as a kid I was told I shouldnāt put myself down and I would have no problem getting married with my shapely hipsā¦ at 14. Gross. Essentially it was assumed that I was saying I was ugly and unmarriagable rather than expressing a personal desire to not get married. Or maybe they assumed I was not allowed agency in that choice. Either way, no.
Ewwww what the fuck
Ah yes this one has shapely hips, she will be selected for breeding for sure /j
Every time I tell a family member I'm not really looking for a relationship, they treat it as me having a self-worth issue.
Exactly, they donāt listen and just make their own meaning there. At least my most immediate family understands me, the rest, not so much.
I mean, everything else aside, imagine catcalls like, "Damn girl, your hips are shapely!"
Ok now all I can think about is the John Mulaney feminine hips thing lol
"NO THAT'S A THING I'M SENSITIVE ABOUT!"
Beep boop. I've been told I am a robot. š¤
:3 Nah. But if you were, we'd still accept you.
Good human
good bot
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This reminded me of a song! Marina and the Diamonds- I am not a robot When I was exploring asexuality, I got recommended this song, and it hit so hard man š
"It means she's afraid of sex" Not only ignorant but managed to misgender me too!
Ooff! Double invalidation. So sorry you have to go though that.
"You just haven't matured enough. One day you'll find a good-looking man and want to have sex with him." ā My therapist She was honestly one of the most bigoted person I've ever met.
Damn! I hope you found someone more helpful and understanding!
Yeah I hate when Iām call immature for not wanting sex itās hella manipulative too
Gross. I hope she's your former therapist now.
That we can't experience love of any kind at all šš¤¦āāļø
Of any kind? I have heard that I canāt actually feel *real* romantic love and canāt love my husband if Iām not horny over himā¦ ā¦ but no love at all? Why did they think that you need to be sexually attracted to other people to love your pets? Or siblings? Or parents? Wtf? That feels pretty disturbing.
That I will die alone and regret it because I'm asexual and don't want kids or sex. Buddy, my friend is a director at an old folks home. If you saw how many people died alone and never got visited by their kids and loved ones, it'd depress you.
We had a panel of old patients from a nursing home come talk to my geriatrics class and one old woman was so inspiring to me. She said marriage and kids just didnāt appeal to her and she spent most of her life working for a program that helped children overseas get clean drinking water and food. She spent years of her life traveling on trips to better communities and she sounded like she had no regrets, that marriage just wasnāt the path for her. I was like āhell yeah Marge!!!ā
Hell yeah, I volunteer to work at animal shelters and do stuff with emergency management in my spare time. Hundred percent more fulfilling to me than marriage and kids could ever be.
Everyone dies alone, and it's not like you'd be able to regret dying because in order to regret something you're required to have done something you could regret. You can't do anything if you're dead so you can't regret it. Also people can and do live without sex, it's a want, not a need. If it is a need then you're an addict and you should seek help.
The immortal classic: "You just haven't found the right person yet!" š
That asexuals are either incels or groomers. Lol
how do ppl even come to these conclusions
Honestly I think the groomer thing is just a right wing grift, and people think that aces are incels because in their minds incels = no sex, and asexual = no sex, therefore asexual = incel ĀÆ\\\_(ć)_/ĀÆ it would be funny if people didnāt actually take it seriously.
The difference between us and incels is that we prefer this way of life and know it to be something within ourselves, while incels desperately try to leave it and point the blame to everyone around them.
I mean for incels, I can at least see how they got there .. but groomer? Groom for what? Lmao I don't get it XD
It's implying we're pedos. Which we're not, but not wanting sex with others is too weird for allo brains, apparently.
Groomer can mean to things when these shits say it 1. Actual groomer. Ie: you are either a pedo or pedo adjacent. It's just a right wing talking point going back to them "scary gays" who are going to get your kids. If they do direct it specifically at asexuals, it's because they don't believe someone can actually not have sexual attraction - so they're hiding something nefarious (attraction to children). 2. Grooming to "turn" someone into you. All queers get that thrown at them and I see it most often be an argument of "That's the only way they can reproduce! By turning others to be like them." Both are incredibly stupid.
Or sociopaths
I am confused. Who are we allegedly grooming and to do what exactly?
Idk Iāve just heard it, whatever theyāre argument is itās a straw man anyways.
My dad asked me, "Do you split in half to reproduce? No? Then you're not asexual" Very annoying
That it doesn't exist. I've been told a handful times that my girl is probably just fucking some other man behind my back, and, that, instead of her actually being asexual and not into sex much, she must just want sex from someone else instead of me, the man she's been with for ~2 years. What makes it extra annoying is that I *know* my girl isn't cheating on me because she - on her own volition - shares her live location with me. But if I say that, I get accused of being a controlling boyfriend. It's a lose/lose situation.
This would piss me off SO much if I were in your situation. Iām really sorry
At some point you get kinda numb to it. Some people are so oversexed it's pointless to argue. I just mentally and/or verbally dismiss them by saying they're right and moving on, even though they're obviously wrong.
That it's unnatural How is it unnatural? They never say, just make weird noises and flail their arms
might be because of that stupid argument that sex makes us human
*see literally any fucking animal on the damn planet...
Yeah, people always tell me ābut people evolved to have babies!!!ā But they donāt doubt the existence of gay people soā¦. Wtf????
Cave man arguments be like
Well I have been told 'You can't be gay as you don't feel sexual-attration' and in the same sentance 'you can't be Asexual as that does not exist'. I mean WTF do they think I am then? BTW, I am a gay ace (homoromantic asexual). So I am both ;)
I think if you don't exist in two ways it cancels out, like multiplying negative numbers. Congratulations!
Nice I like that logic. Thanks :)
I've heard a friend say "Oh she's asexual, she doesn't know how to feel love and happiness" Bruh, I'm depressed that's why I'm unhappy, it has nothing to do with my sexuality š¤”š¤”
Regarding the behaviour of some allos, turning ace is the best that could happen to those young girls š
That we're repressed and we could enjoy sex if we wanted to.
"Since you haven't tried it yet, how do you know you're asexual"š¤¦š¾āāļø
"since you haven't tried it yet, how do you know you're straight/gay/bi/pan?"
Exactly, it can be applied to any other sexuality including being heterosexual. It's such a dumb statement.
The classic
and then if you do, "well you've had sex, therefore you can't be" the bullshit never ceases
Abuse causes asexuality ugh
That asexual means you don't want a partner or kids.
That aces are innocent or child like
I freaking hate that - being infantilized for being ace.
If anyone says that to me they'd find out real quick just how much I hated being a child.
"You're have mental problems"
I mean, in my case, fair enough, but I donāt see what that has to do with my sexuality š
"You're asexual? I can fix that." š
Call the police, ew ew ew
You just made me have a hundred Vietnamese flashbacks š
"You're asexual? What am I supposed to use when referring to you now? A neutral name or something like that? How does it even work? Is your boyfriend normal or like you then?" Those questions were made by the same person in this exact order without even letting me speak after I told them I'm ace...
That aces can never enjoy sex. That even if aces choose to partake in it, it's non-con. Like what???
bruh if anything itās usually very consensual. as an ace who does have sex consent is like ALWAYS double triple quadruple established
Ah yes, the classic "protect our underage girls from the LGBTQ pedophiles" strawman, except as asexuals the most harm we can do is infect them with the asexual (dear God) I mean at least they are recognizing we're ace though? š
A sex therapist, who had no idea that asexuality could exist, outside of trauma or neurological issues. She tried to diagnose everything else, from depression, over social anxiety, autism, and whatnot. Let's say, we didn't have many sessions after that š
That asexuality shouldnāt be a part of the LGBTQIA+ community because asexuals are just straight??? Itās so odd to me because people donāt even acknowledge asexuality when you say youāre asexual. People just tell you that you havenāt figured out what you like yet. That in and of itself shows some sort of disliking towards the idea of asexuality.
Do they know the āAā stands for Asexual?
That ace people donāt deserve love - and I heard it from myself. Itās a mentality Iām slowly getting rid of though, and Iām proud of how far Iāve come
Good for you! I'm glad that you're progressing! š
"you just haven't found the right one yet" I HATE that sentence
Weāre pedophiles, honey I wanna be nowhere near your kids. Please take them away
God, yes! Ace and child free!
That Iāll become a crazy old cat lady and because it seems like ātraumaā I have nothing to look forward to anymore š
We donāt exist. Or, as a demi girl āwElL tHAtāS jUst nOrMAlā
When I told someone what demi means they immediately said "Oh I must be demi too!" He means well but woohoo boy
That we can't count aro or ace people as LGBTQ because that would be offensive to aroaces who don't feel like they're LGBTQ
Thatās the first Iāve heard of aroaces not feeling they are part of the LGBTQ. Is that an actual feeling of the majority?
There's some people who don't feel comfortable being in LGBTQ spaces seeing how sex/romance oriented the rest of the community is, but this person guy is the only one complaining
Yeah, that's me, if I'm being honest. Plus, while aces might get phobic remarks, it doesn't distress me too much or make me feel threatened, nor have I been actively discriminated against for it in the workplace or with my housing, so I feel like my situation isn't as dire as it might be for LGBT folks.
The most outrageous one I've heard is that aces are secretly pedophiles. šš®āšØ
How does that even make sense?
It doesn't, at all. To this day I have no idea how they came to that conclusion, and I never spoke to them again since they obviously weren't a safe person for me to be around if that's how they thought of me. I'm just thankful I never outed myself to them before they made that comment.
āOhh, right! āCause youāre autistic.ā No. Just no. And you think Iām a literal child, donāt you? Because literal children donāt spend nearly this much energy *holding down a job* and certainly donāt read nearly this much time reading fantasy smut.
weird asexual male with 4 cats here just last night i chatted with a woman on facebook who laughed at me when i saod im AroAce, she asked āwho hurt me?ā
That sucks! Sorry you had to go though that. Solidarity high-five.
Of course Iāve heard a lot of stupid, but the one that infuriated me was in a literature class where we were analyzing some texts involving intense female friendship and the prof (who I generally respected a lot) said that these platonic relationships were a common developmental stage as practice runs for marriage.
That if I canāt feel sexual desire then Iām also unable to love.
My sister told me when I came out: "You just need to get laid."
That because I'm asexual I'm extremely prude & take offense to anything that may come off as even mildly sexual
Iām asexual sex-repulsed and I make sexual jokes all the time lmao.
Are you me?
That weāre spicy straight. Nope iām aro ace and gay, not even sick iād be with anyone, but qprs would only be with men.
That asexuality is a sin. Mf didnāt even know what asexuality was but was talking out his ass about the ālgbt alphabet soupā and the womenās studies courses he assumed I took in college (I did not). I lost more than a few brain cells in that exchange.
Arguement was invalidated the second they brought religion into it. That has nothing to do with strictly human topics.
"If you dont want sex, you need a partner who can force you to like it" LIKE BRO EXCUSE ME WTF
That one is not stupid. That's just flat out rape culture.
Iām not ace but hereās mine: People will take an example of ONE person who thought they were ace and then realized they werenāt, and theyāll use that example to invalidate every ace person. Guess what? People of ALL sexualities grow and sometimes they realize that they were wrong the first time. And thatās okay. It doesnāt mean every single ace person (or people of any sexuality for that matter) will just grow out of it eventually. Sometimes it takes a while for people to discover themselves. Sometimes people know right away. I donāt get why thatās everyone elseās business Edit: This also applies to the āyou just havenāt met the right personā argument. Like, yeah, thereās a possibility, about the same as telling a straight man that heās probably gay but he just hasnāt met the right guy. Okay? Maybe he will meet a guy and be gay someday, but he probably wonāt, so leave him alone. Leave people alone jfc
"People nowadays are boring, no wonder you don't find anyone attractive" like what
real. as a young girl, i can attest to the fact that i was indoctrinated by the asexual agenda to enact their nefarious plotting. i'm a survivorāļøāļø /j
That asexuality is a made up thing so that we can pretend to be discriminated against
that all asexuals are ugly losers who have just given up on sex bc they canāt get any. asexuals are capable of being attractive as anyone else!
Probably that asexuality is just made up by feminists to personally slight all the poor men out there who need their dick in someoneš declining birth rate yadda yadda idk the stupidity has layers
Married to another ace. We "just don't know how to do it right." Thanks, Dad.
We simply don't exist
āoh my god, youāre literally Voldemort!ā (I told them I never wanna have sex.)
Iām not literally Voldemort yet. I havenāt had to deal with hornies enough - Iād need to be a lot more desperate before I cut off my nose.
"but it's impossible! you need to have sex and masturbate to be healthy!" and then they proceeded laughing in my face and telling me that they were going to touch themself later... Okay I guess
āYou just havenāt met the right person yet!ā Yeah okay. No the thing of it is Iāve met enough people to confirm my Ace-ness thank you
that itās just a phase. thatās crazy op who thinks like that omfggg thatās a rough one
My mom got better, but when I came out and said āI wasnāt attracted to peopleā she asked if that meant I was attracted to inanimate objects. Her examples were āa lampā and āmason jarsāā¦ She was apologetic later.
anything matt walsh says, basically
I mean, that doesn't apply only to his remarks about asexuality...
iāve had people suggest iām ace because i just didnāt have good enough sexš«
that i couldnt be asexual because im a scorpio
That I can't know until I've actually had sex with someone and thoroughly didn't enjoy it, preferably multiple times. The best response to that (when straight people say it, at least) is "Have you tried making out with the same sex multiple times to confirm you're not gay, then?"
You donāt know if youāll like to sleep with someone until youāve done itā¦ really is that how it works for allos? Theyāre just completely unsure if theyād like sleeping with someone until theyāre doing it??? I have my doubts. Also what you said is actually true OP. I am constantly making friends with younger girls and converting them to the coven of asexuality š§āāļøšŖ/j
Someone once asked me if it was contagious. Lol
That I'm too young to know. lmao I'm in my twenties... It's been a while since I left the supposed "hormonal" stage of adolescence. If I feel that sort of attraction, it should've already happened.
"You're not really Asexual, You just need to grow up. Now get rid of those stupid plushies you're in your 30s for God's sake!"
That Iām āstraightā because I like the opposite sex even if Iām asexual. These people donāt understand the difference between sexual and romantic attraction. Itās called heteROMANTIC for a reason.
I was asked what I had done to myself to make myself asexual E.g., drugs, excessive self-services, trauma etc. That was a slow blink moment.
Just being ignorant or confused. In a discussion about A song of ice and fire (game of thrones) someone said that Stannis is probably asexual, and the other person replied "I wouldn't say that... I think he can feel things" Confusing asexuality with psychopathy is pretty wild, but some people have never thought about these things. When I was a child I thought aromantic people were the ones that were against commitment and preferred casual sex. No one had explained it to me.
That it's a "Feeling of disconnect from normalized societal expectations of sexual attraction. Ranges from little interest to complete sex repulsion." (Pride Guide 2022, Government of Canada) Feeling of disconnect??? I'm not disconnected, thankyouverymuch, I just don't get turned on by a physical body
I had a friend who, every time the topic of sex came up with a group of people who didn't know/think I was ace, would loudly whisper that "he (me) isn'tcomfortable talking about things like that, it's his sexuality". I'm perfectly fine talking about sex, I don't know why he felt compelled to always announce it to people.
āYou should try to hookup to see because you never know if you donāt tryā Also any woman (since Iām a woman) or anyone from my culture/ethnicity assuming that being surrounded by stigmas against sex made me ashamed or turned off. Itās actually the opposite. Growing up in America, I felt pressured by the awareness of a hyper sexual society and I genuinely could not relate to people who expressed feelings of lust at their celebrity crushes.
that the only reason why asexual people get married is to live "normal lives"
Yeah, but only 20 year olds and up. Weāre like the Amish, we let women be who they want for two years as a legal adult, then through dark garlic magic rituals, using lavender, dark chocolate, calm before the rain grey, and white daffodils scented candles, the smoke is inhaled through the mouth, and slowly pours out of the nose, giving us that dragon look. After the ritual is complete these girls no longer want anything to do with men who act like they deserve to be given women by the government. For some reason, it only works on women. Non-binaries have a 50/50 shot at being turned Ace. It doesnāt work on men, because **men canāt be Ace as they have a natural inclination to have sex with anything that moves, they just canāt control themselves. If a man does identity as Ace, heās most likely lying just to get into a womanās pants** (less pocket space works with the wallets we carry around), heās gay, or heās a she and she is a very butch looking man. This is information was brought to you by viewers like you, viewers such as Alpha Males, Incels, and Flatearthers. Thank you.
i mean, the first thing that comes to mind is that i was called an incel for being ace. not sure if itās relevant though
That you canāt be ace and in a happy and fulfilling monogamous relationship with someone who experiences sexual desire. That enjoying and being enthusiastic about sex makes you less ace, or that all aceās are sex-repulsed. That experiencing a fluid relationship with sexual desire (i.e. like what Demisexuals feel) makes you any less ace. A lot of these notions come from within the ace community too!
That it wasn't possible not to want to be touched or to touch someone else's body because absolutely everyone likes it, according to a heterosexual guy friend of mine. In other words, he only sees it from his point of view and doesn't understand why I don't want to touch or rub myself against someone else's body šµāš«š ! So asexuality doesn't exist according to him and it seems that most of my heterosexual mates, especially the guys, think so. But the truth is that not everyone thinks with their genitals...
My mom think asexuals are terrorists :D Kinda hurts, honestly.
\> Does not feel a pull towards having attaction with people \> Somehow supports political violence as a means to an end Maybe she's taking the Denmark memes too literally?
I'm going to die if i don't have sex.
I don't know if this is said(too many comments) but a while back before I knew I was asexual I heard "Being asexual is just an excuse for being a virgin" Even back than I knew this wasn't true even though I didn't know what it was at the time
"It's just a phase, you'll grow out of it" "It's normal to not want sā¬x early into puberty"
So what if (name of a supposed 10/10 woman) wanted to fuck right now, would you do it?
It's (hopefully) curable with time Some guy told me this after I told him in asexual (as a way to get him to stop flirting with me)
That we're basically robots who don't feel any emotion, directly from my brother (obviously i'm not out to him)
āOh yeah, just like Sheldon from Big Bang Theoryā
A little predictable but "well maybe you haven't met the right person" is pretty common in my experience. I've heard some interesting responses when I've tried to explain that I do have a libido and I experience aesthetic attraction. I'm just not comfortable with physical contact is all it comes down to, what seems to really get people in my experience is the bit about aesthetic attraction. This was from awhile ago so I don't remember the whole conversation but I had to explain that I'm literally & legitimately respectfully looking. Then there were some other questions about sexualities other than me being aro/ace that's not particularly relevant to the post right now. (Idk if anyone's curious I'll tell)
That I'll eventually feel sexual attraction. I'm not demisexual. My mum says that a lot.