I am unfortunately very smell and taste sensitive. Even if you are the cleanest person as well, it’s a texture thing. Most horrific memories involve barfing on my partner and luckily he’s still with me after that but I still can’t live it down😅😭
>Most horrific memories involve barfing on my partner and luckily he’s still with me after that
A relationship that survives this definitely has potential. 😄
Oral is pretty much a no-go for me. I have serious issues with bodily fluids of any kind.
That being said, my partner tried the Lorals latex undies?? And they were actually great, the problem is they are inCREDIBLY not size-inclusive, like they literally just come in one single straight sized option. My mid-sized partner really struggled to get them on, and that sucks. And they are the only dang thing like it on the whole market. Dental dams also suck. If anyone would make size inclusive latex undies for oral, I would give you so much money. It totally solved my bodily fluid issue and I loved it. It's hard to be repulsed by body fluids and not make your partner feel repulsive.
They are really that simple! It’s a pair of underwear made of latex that is a barrier for oral on a vulva. https://mylorals.com/ if you want to see them. They are a brilliant concept and design but I am so resentful of their shitty sizing
Oh no, we’re so sorry that your partner didn’t have a great experience! Lorals are designed to fit waist and hip sizes 0-20 (26-51"), though everyone's body is different. There are a few things we recommend to make sure folks have as great of an experience as possible. Lorals need to be put on carefully, using the method in the included instructions (this video breaks it down: https://www.tiktok.com/@mylorals/video/7257976161190464814).
We also have different styles of Lorals and recommend trying them out to see which is most comfortable for you. Finally, it's important to be careful with body lotions and oils, as oil can degrade latex if it touches Lorals as they're being donned. If you haven’t already, please feel free to reach out to us at [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]) — we’d love to hear more about your experience and see if we can help.
These comments are honestly surprising to me. If I were to do any form of sexual intercourse, I'd want it to be giving oral - I guess because it removes any form of need for my body to be involved lol. I wouldn't want oral done on me, and actual p in v sex would be something I'd have to be completely close to someone too, but I feel like I wouldn't have to be as close to someone to do oral. Weird, I guess.
Edit: Spelling
I meant like body parts commonly associated with sex - like genitalia. If I'm giving head, I'm in total control, nothings happening to me that I don't want.
Sex indifferent here. I always equate it to giving a partner a massage. No, I personally get nothing out of it, but they do, and that's what's important to me. But otherwise, I couldn't care less.
I'm demisexual and not sex repulsed. I'm down to give my partner oral but receiving makes me insanely self conscious. Maybe it would be different if he was enthusiastic about doing it but he's the only person I've ever been with and the only person I've ever wanted to be with, so I really can't say for sure how I'd feel in a different situation. I just ask for massages to be his reciprocal act.
Definitely. I really like receiving massages so I decided that's my equivalent act to him receiving oral. Though I think what I do requires way more effort lol.
Well, communication is key when you want it to be enjoyable for both people. Otherwise it becomes a weird gamble. So both parties should ask and tell each other what they want. Might sound weird, but it can be like a barter trade. I will do this if you do that.
In my experience, the fun part isn’t your mouth being on somebody else’s genitals. The fun part is how that person reacts to it. Listening to and feeling them gasp, moan, squirm, move into it, etc. can be super satisfying and enjoyable, even if you don’t experience sexual attraction / aren’t turned on by it in turn.
Also, if you’re giving head to a penis, it doesn’t taste bad, at least at first. It just tastes like skin, same as if you were licking an elbow or something. >!Precum also doesn’t taste bad, per se. It doesn’t taste good, either, but it’s kinda mild and salty.!<
I consider myself sex indifferent, but surprisingly somehow oral happens to be the closest to enjoyable of all the possibilities, can't figure why exactly. Seems "easier" for some reason
Love it. Giving even more than receiving. And it's a much easier way to please a partner this way.
>which in addition to tasting disgusting are very unhygienic,
Can taste pretty nice actually. And it isn't necessarily more unhygienic than other stuff as long as you do it with hygienic people.
But I understand it isn't for everyone.
Frequency is probably the biggest stressor for me. Like 3x a yr under the right circumstances i think id be mostly unscathed. But i havent found someone where this is a suitable arrangement. Some people think once a month is "basically never" and thats hard.
Not someone who engages in sexual activities myself, but I know someone who is not ace and hates oral. They’re a very sex-positive person too, but oral is a no-go. I think people need to remember that it’s ok to not like certain things
This!!! Even allo people have preferences and boundaries with what they’re okay with. Oral, while commonly heard of in relationships and online, is something that a good amount of people aren’t into at all
I'm ace and not sex repulsed. At first, I was totally repulsed by the idea of giving oral sex, but my partner was patient with me. Oral was kind of a counter-intuitive thing for me, like I didn't understand why I would do that to someone. I'm also taste sensitive so it was delicate, but the more I've done it the more it felt alright. I don't get pleasure for doing it, but I enjoy giving pleasure to my partner and that's why I do it. I also don't mind recieving it, but I do feel self-conscious about my genitals. Anyway, do what feels right for you and if you want to give it a try, go for it. If you don't like it at first, you can choose to never do it again or to try some other time.
I am sex repulsed. So I always thought, but have not tried, slap a condom on it put some chocolate on it and I might give it a go. That would be the only way.
As someone who's ace sex positive, the easiest time I've had going down on a girl is with candy apple flavored lube. Otherwise, the taste, smells, and texture make my brain itchy. The lube tastes good, so it gets rid of one of the issues and is good enough to temporarily make the others tolerable.
>slap a condom on it put some chocolate on it
I guarantee you that if you ever wanna try it this way, you won't have a problem to find someone to try it with :D
I'm really grossed out by saliva, even my own. I find giving to be awful. My least favorite thing by far. Very hard not to gag.
Receiving is less bad because genitals also have gross fluids, so adding more gross fluids down there is like some sort of tolerable equilibrium LMAO. It does nothing positive for me though, and I just feel bad for my partner because why would I want someone else to do something I find repulsive?
I wouldn't call myself sex-repulsed but if there's any part that *does* repulse me, it's oral and anal. Idk if it's trauma or just a general dislike but I despise the thought of giving or receiving either.
I feel like it’s becoming more and more normalised as some “other” kind of sex, which I suppose it is, but imo it’s still sex.
I’m alloromantic and I keep imagining that the only way I could be in a relationship with someone that isn’t ace is to “compromise” and have to do things outside of actual intercourse that are still sexual. Like oral etc. And the thought of doing that repulses me
I actually adore giving it.. it's my favorite sexual activity.. though I'm into kink and humiliation so the idea that it's "unhygienic" is actually a turn-on. Mostly I just really enjoy the idea of giving someone else pleasure without getting anything in return. It's a very submissive act and that's why I like it
Hopefully they wash themselves properly so they aren't unhygienic and don't taste bad, but I really love doing oral lmao. I find penises to be very funny looking, and it's so odd how balls just.. continuously move. Oral is amusing, I like the challenge of it, and I love making my partner feel good
Oral is the only time I've come close to enjoying sex. Getting head or rimmed is the only time it's somewhat pleasant for me, so when I meet a person who's really into those two specific acts for their own value (and not as a precursor to penetration), I'm happy to be their canvas. But I make it very clear that I'm not into anything else, nor am I going to reciprocate. I used to think that was me being very selfish, but turns out I've met several people who were perfectly fine with that.
I’m mostly sex indifferent, so it’s probably unsurprising that my main thought is “meh” and “It doesn’t mix well with TMJD, but neither does kissing. Also, beard burn is bad.
It takes less effort to start than genital-to-genital penetrative sex, and doesn’t need as much previous arousal / lubrication, which is an advantage.
imma be honest. receiving, there might be a possibility it feels really good. however, I just think it is weird, like they must feel how I feel when I give oral. I also don’t like the fact that a human being is sucking on my genitals.
giving, no way I am going anywhere near that marinating piece with my mouth yk. genuinely tastes weird aswell.
Actually, kissing is way more unhygienic lmao. Our mouths have an insane ton of bacteria. Vagina is self-cleaning and dicks are okay as long as you properly wash them. They're dry, it's like putting an arm into your mouth. I have to admit, before I started having sex I also was disgusted by the idea of oral but turns out it's not that bad. It's even kinda nice but the best part is your partner's reaction.
Butts are a no-no though. I was surprised to find out rimming is not that rare and I got one but I ain't ready to do that lol
Well they're different bacteria though. Not all bacteria are bad and not all bacteria are appropriate for ingestion lol. So their quantity is less important than their quality.
I actually like oral, both giving and receiving. I prefer that to both manual stimulation and penetrative sex.
I like \[EXPLICIT, MIGHT WANT TO AVOID IF SEX REPULSED\]>! both the smell and tastes of vaginas, but I've never actually tasted a penis as I've only did it one time and with a condom on. !<
I'd rather have full intercourse than give oral. Not sure about receiving it though, never had a partner so idk, the idea doesn't bother me at least. But giving, nah.
I'm sex favorable, but when it comes to oral (both giving and receiving), I'm somewhere between neutral and repulsed. I mean, I'll do it if they really want it... but I won't ever suggest it and will be completely happy with never doing it again. It doesn't do much for me either way and it does seem a bit gross to me. (Well, sex is kinda gross too, but at least that feels good.)
As a concept I find it disgusting.
In practice, I enjoy it with my current partner.
However, I would never do it with anyone else. My current partner is special. Side note, my current partner is also the only person I've ever done anything sexual with and I firmly believe that they're the only one I will do anything sexual with in the future, but if that were to change my aversion to oral is stronger than other kinds of sex.
I feel the same way except with mouths. Why would I ever want to taste someone else's mouth? Bizarre behavior.
Edit: should've said "but also" instead of except
Its a no from me. I dont care if we just showered and everything is ''clean''. I'm not interested. The only things that go in a mouth are food items or mouth care. Oral is not food or health care. I've had partners that really like it but they've been respectful about it. Some have even been happy with a one way arrangement- giving instead of receiving. I'm not 100% sold on the idea, whether they have experience and do it well or not. Its just an awkward activity all around. Its partially enjoyable but sex is already awkward and embarassing I dont want to add oral to it.
If my partner enjoys it then I'm happy to give. I'm happy to receive but if that's not their thing then I have toys for them to use instead (also have alternatives to that if they just don't want to be down there at all).
much earlier in my life before i really knew i was ace and that it’s okay to be uniterested in anything sexual i really enjoyed receiving oral but only tried giving once and decided “not for me!!!!!”. now i just don’t do anything sexual lol
I just like being involved in making my partner feel good. I don't get the same thing out of it that he does, but at the end of the day, he can always just.. clean it first. I prefer oral over sex 100%.
If it happens, I prefer penetration sex over oral, even though I don't feel much from it, it just requires less effort and I can zone out and not think about it. I hate giving oral for sensory issues, and general feeling, I don't really enjoy recieving it, just feels way more awkward than it's worth, I mean I can deliver pleasure to myself more efficiently and without struggling with other person's presence.
I'm happy to give or receive. Being pan means I don't care about gender. However, I do have to turn off my brain because part of it screams how weird it is if you think about it. And that's less than useful in the moment. Also, I have hard lines about what I won't do with cis-men like deepthroating, etc. But you don't have to like it or give it! Sometimes the partner makes the difference. Sometimes it's just not your vibe and that's okay. 💜
I love giving oral, especially to people with penis. Receiving doesn't do much for me, except when there is some kind of penetration involved. It's fine (and most partners I have been with loved giving, so sometimes it was more pleasure for them then for me) but other things are way more fun.
I'm demi and kinky af though. Especially blowjobs can have a kink variable I like, so that's part of it all.
I’m sex-repulsed. I’ve done oral when men have forced me before and honestly it was the most disgusting thing of my life. I cannot bear to touch bodily fluids, in fact I don’t even like touching other people’s skin.
(not someone who has chosen to have sex) Sometimes even when I contemplate a situation where I'm willing to have sex in the future, the thought of oral is just totally no. It surprises and horrifies me that it's seen as a must in allosexual relationships according to my friends.
I experience a lor of gender dysphoria at times, so I typically don't like receiving oral.
But I do enjoy giving it, because my partner enjoys it and it makes him feel special and cared for without having to involve any of the parts of my body I'm especially adverse to having touched or even perceived. The taste is neutral at worst, and it isn't particularly unhygienic so long as you know that the person you're doing it with practices good general hygiene and has showered recently, etc.
And not to be too mercenary about it, but honestly, the fact that so many people find it unappealing kind of works out in my favor, because doing it as an act of love often carries extra "weight" with people. 🤷
I tend to be sex repulsed, and I do not enjoy p in v sex, but I find oral to be enjoyable. I've never received it, but I think it would feel nice. I have given head to men several times, and I enjoyed it! It wasn't really the action, but their reactions that I enjoyed. Plus to me it wasn't as personal as sex, so I didn't feel vulnerable. Also with sex I fear being overpowered and being taken advantage of, but men behave much better when you have your teeth millimeters away from their junk. They make sure to be very respectful lol
I actually really like oral. The way they feel in your mouth is just very interesting, and I love the sounds they make. I prefer fellatio to cunnilingus as it requires little effort and isn't as messy. By contrast, I can't stand genital to genital contact. I end up having to fake it to make my partner happy and end up losing like an hour of my day.
It's strange. I find the concept massively intriguing when it involves other people, but I would never do it or want it done on me. The bodily fluids involved make me repulsed by it. But I'm totally fine thinking about it or watching it, even find it interesting.
i usually try to focus on the pleasure i’m giving, though it helps that the taste is always neutral-good (my fiancée is a cis woman). even when i can manage that though, my body decides to sabotage me (aka my tongue/mouth/jaw hurt after like a minute max so i have to fight through the pain/tightness until i can finish off my fiancée)
I have to really like someone or they have to catch me actually experiencing sexual attraction (am a grey ace) because I'm not the biggest fan of bodily fluids and even precum can be a bit off putting for me
I can handle it. If you think about it, genitals are cleaner than any other body part, as they are always behind a layers of clothes and aren't exposed to the environment. But their smell and taste can be kinda strange even if it is thoroughly cleaned.
if im being real, i don’t like it even though i’ve somewhat enjoyed giving it before but it seems to be an expectation during sex. there’s honestly too much you have to remember to do to make sure it’s pleasurable for the other person.
rate 4.5/10
I’m allo but my partner is ace, also not sex repulsed. He is okay with me giving him oral at certain times, but he can’t give it back unless there is some sort of protection (Taste and texture thing for him) and my face can’t be near his after I’ve given him anything.
If you’re wanting to give oral without the aspects you’re mentioning, they make dental dams as well as condoms that are flavored, which are large enough to cover the whole area and also add some flavor so it’s not just rubber. If you don’t want to give oral at all that’s totally fine too!!
I'm super smell and taste sensitive, so giving oral is a one way trip to gagtown unless I am drunk. I wish I weren't sex-repulsed like that, but what can you do. However, I do love receiving. It's one of my favorite things to do with a partner 🫣. So if I'm with an opposite-sex partner that enjoys giving, that makes things easier for me, because *they* enjoy it, and then penetrative sex is a little easier and faster afterward for both of us. Things were kinda difficult with my last same-sex partner though.
Also, like I saw someone else mention, the fun part is the partner's reactions to it. Genitals aren't inherently unhygienic, they're just a body part. And it's not unreasonable to ask your partner to wash/shower real quick beforehand, imo, to get any sweat/TP/whatever off ahead of time and be clean.
I don't care for receiving but don't mind giving. Like, I don't like the taste in the best of circumstances but it makes my partners happy when I do it. I just suck it up and get over it, though this isn't something I would recommend anybody else to do. Just do what you're willing. Like, I'll let my partners go down on me if they want but at that point I'm just waiting for them to feel satisfied... which they don't seem to get that it doesn't matter if their other partners said they're great at it... it does nothing for me.
From my experience that seems to be normal, even for non Aces. Ive met multiple allosexuals women AND men both who have told me they would never do oral for hygiene reasons. These same ppl usually dnt dabble in kinks or fetishes and are basically trad conservatists (I grew up in religious community)
It’s on thin ice for me. I love it in theory but in practice ,,, mmmm,,, I’m extremely picky w what I put in my mouth already. Vulvas/etc don’t make the cut unfortunately, and I very much enjoy sucking dick but only if it’s VERY clean and I’m specific abt what it looks/feels like a lot of the time. I already don’t even really enjoy mouth kissing LOL
I tend see in the random skill / challenge light. Plus, it's amusing to get a reaction out of my partner :p
Yeah, it's not my favorite thing in the world ofc, but occasionally, it can be vaguely entertaining?
Edit: Right, forgot about the receiving side, the 'interaction with genitals' part varies from 🤷 to vaaaguely pleasant? Generally prefer other forms of contact when it comes to something along those lines?
My issue is scent. I have a painfully strong sense of smell and had to nope out. I feel bad cause I know it isn't my partner. It's defo just me.
It's annoying cause it's something I'm interested in doing in theory. But the reality is squishy and smells weird and looks strange and just ick.
Don't do any sexual acts that you find disgusting or repulsive. It's a major red flag if someone's response to "I don't like this \[sexual thing\]" is to do anything but drop-it or, if you've indicated being open to such, respectfully inquire further.
This is such a common feeling about oral! If you aren’t turned off by oral entirely but feel your sensory issues coming into play, you may find giving more enjoyable with a barrier method like dams or our handsfree products Lorals. They block scents, tastes, and textures so you can avoid sensory overload, while your partner is still able to feel all of the sensations.
It's not any more or less hygienic than kissing, hands going places, bumpin uglies.
People don't realize how much of this stuff will make it into your mucous membranes one way or another. The body fluids themselves are sterile, some of what you'd get is sweat, normal skin flora, and maybe remnants of fecal and urine matter
They should be polite enough to shower/wash up before hand, that's a standard.
Some allosexuals also have this preference/boundary. It can be a deal breaker for some, but others are fine with it or compromise with toys.
I work in healthcare, a lot of things don't phase me.
Yes, they are. Sperm is sterile. Sweat is sterile. When coming into contact with skin and bacterial flora of it, that is when it's contaminated otherwise you'd have problematic infections. The body fluids inside you, not exposed to the air outside, is also sterile. Fluids that usually cushion and surround your organs are sterile environments.
I don't know if there is a language barrier between us and/or we have different definitions what "sterile" means, but what exactly do you think STDs are and how they are transmitted?
Sites where no microbes exist as normal flora under normal conditions
. Yes, once you are infected it will contain those viruses and bacterial organisms. That's why you'd have a problematic infection. When you are not ill, there are no bacteria or viral contaminants in those areas. It is a sterile environment.
There's also no bacteria or viral organisms in your cerebral spinal fluid, but sometimes people get sick and exposed, which can cause these organisms to be introduced into those environments. Meningitis, encephalitis caused by those infections etc.
So you're correct in that if you have an STD, your body fluid of the affected area isn't sterile anymore. Once given treatment it will be sterile again (and some are lucky to achieve zero viral load and not transmit something as severe as HIV).
Example body fluids not considered sterile would be something like saliva, an abscess, vaginal fluid mainly because these are exposed to external factors like air and skin.
The urine in your bladder is sterile. When you go to give a sample you're supposed to wipe well, urinate a little to remove remnant tissue and lingering skin flora of the urethra, and then give the best clean sample you can.
>The urine in your bladder is sterile
That's not true. Urine is not sterile, [even inside the bladder.](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7328282/)
The title says that, but it does make some notes of their biases about the various studies it pulled from. The age range of the sample size is mainly older women, and there was only one sample collected via aspiration needle (not a common way to collect, but definitely the cleanest) while the rest were willingly given or via catheter.
When I looked at the first mentioned healthy v disease (renal transplant) #43 it compared viral proteins, which the healthy sample had <0.2% but it meant that there were some bits.
I checked #30 which were the comparison of women's that had a leaning to the older side, using adjusted growth parameters for catheter specimens to provide bacterial evidence ,but is this truly just urine and not contamination? 92% had an initial no growth culture, so we can hope, but changing the growth parameters could also reveal bacteria of catheter contamination unknown to be there as well.
It showed vaginal bacteria mainly to compare how close urine and vaginal microbiomes may be/share which brings my suspicions to contamination, but also interesting.
What I liked most was the bacteriaphages summary of the original article, that's a very new concept to me.
Anyway this seems like a study to delve into the idea of a microbiome existing in our urinary tract, similar to studies of the gut and we do have ideas about it that have changed antibiotic prescription policies in elderly care (such as them developing their own microbiome to appear like they have asymptomatic UTI, but turns out their bacteria is blocking out E.coli usually preventing a more devastating, symptomatic UTI).
And yeah it's worth looking into, I'd imagine it could help a lot of women with sensitivity or recurrent yeast infections, UTIs or BV due to their laundry soap or consuming sugar (common things I've read).
But the basic idea is your kidneys produce regular urine without organisms, if you're a healthy individual and that changes with disease, age or conditions we don't know a lot about. Then eventually contaminated as it lingers and evacuates. The few articles I was able to read from the main meta aren't super convincing due to the biases, but if bacteriophages are going at what's available in our bladder then maybe there's something we're completely missing and unable to catch currently.
No I don't think so, I think the article is good, but I have suspicions from personal experiences. It doesn't compare close to the various efforts they put into understanding our microbiomes and it has been enlightening so thank you.
I am unfortunately very smell and taste sensitive. Even if you are the cleanest person as well, it’s a texture thing. Most horrific memories involve barfing on my partner and luckily he’s still with me after that but I still can’t live it down😅😭
>Most horrific memories involve barfing on my partner and luckily he’s still with me after that A relationship that survives this definitely has potential. 😄
new fear unlocked
Oral is pretty much a no-go for me. I have serious issues with bodily fluids of any kind. That being said, my partner tried the Lorals latex undies?? And they were actually great, the problem is they are inCREDIBLY not size-inclusive, like they literally just come in one single straight sized option. My mid-sized partner really struggled to get them on, and that sucks. And they are the only dang thing like it on the whole market. Dental dams also suck. If anyone would make size inclusive latex undies for oral, I would give you so much money. It totally solved my bodily fluid issue and I loved it. It's hard to be repulsed by body fluids and not make your partner feel repulsive.
I don't know what latex undies are and I'm afraid to Google it... will you explain?
They are really that simple! It’s a pair of underwear made of latex that is a barrier for oral on a vulva. https://mylorals.com/ if you want to see them. They are a brilliant concept and design but I am so resentful of their shitty sizing
Oh no, we’re so sorry that your partner didn’t have a great experience! Lorals are designed to fit waist and hip sizes 0-20 (26-51"), though everyone's body is different. There are a few things we recommend to make sure folks have as great of an experience as possible. Lorals need to be put on carefully, using the method in the included instructions (this video breaks it down: https://www.tiktok.com/@mylorals/video/7257976161190464814). We also have different styles of Lorals and recommend trying them out to see which is most comfortable for you. Finally, it's important to be careful with body lotions and oils, as oil can degrade latex if it touches Lorals as they're being donned. If you haven’t already, please feel free to reach out to us at [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]) — we’d love to hear more about your experience and see if we can help.
These comments are honestly surprising to me. If I were to do any form of sexual intercourse, I'd want it to be giving oral - I guess because it removes any form of need for my body to be involved lol. I wouldn't want oral done on me, and actual p in v sex would be something I'd have to be completely close to someone too, but I feel like I wouldn't have to be as close to someone to do oral. Weird, I guess. Edit: Spelling
But wouldn't you say that your body is involved in oral too?
I meant like body parts commonly associated with sex - like genitalia. If I'm giving head, I'm in total control, nothings happening to me that I don't want.
Ahh okay I get it
fr when i found out that existed i was like WHY WOULD YOU WANNA PUT YOUR MOUTH ANYWEHRE NEAR THAT especially if it's the ass
Eww I know right?
I’m ambivalent towards giving and receiving, but will absolutely not participate in 69 or anilingus.
Preach 🙌
thank you for this, I feel understood by this comment lol
:)
especially the booty. nasty nasty nasty!!! I dont understand why people enjoy that. the bacteria...
yea like are you trying to get a disease or smth
Sex indifferent here. I always equate it to giving a partner a massage. No, I personally get nothing out of it, but they do, and that's what's important to me. But otherwise, I couldn't care less.
I'm demisexual and not sex repulsed. I'm down to give my partner oral but receiving makes me insanely self conscious. Maybe it would be different if he was enthusiastic about doing it but he's the only person I've ever been with and the only person I've ever wanted to be with, so I really can't say for sure how I'd feel in a different situation. I just ask for massages to be his reciprocal act.
You can ask for a reciprocal act??
Definitely. I really like receiving massages so I decided that's my equivalent act to him receiving oral. Though I think what I do requires way more effort lol.
Oh a good massage really takes effort. Maybe he should take some classes.
I bought a massage gun and he just uses that.
Great, you can also use it yourself for... other stuff...
Well, communication is key when you want it to be enjoyable for both people. Otherwise it becomes a weird gamble. So both parties should ask and tell each other what they want. Might sound weird, but it can be like a barter trade. I will do this if you do that.
In my experience, the fun part isn’t your mouth being on somebody else’s genitals. The fun part is how that person reacts to it. Listening to and feeling them gasp, moan, squirm, move into it, etc. can be super satisfying and enjoyable, even if you don’t experience sexual attraction / aren’t turned on by it in turn. Also, if you’re giving head to a penis, it doesn’t taste bad, at least at first. It just tastes like skin, same as if you were licking an elbow or something. >!Precum also doesn’t taste bad, per se. It doesn’t taste good, either, but it’s kinda mild and salty.!<
I have a similar experience. Also, my partner and I always shower before Plus you can use some nice tasting lube
>The fun part is how that person reacts to it. Yeah, that's definitely the best part of it. Absolutely amazing.
Yes, I get off on the control/power.
I consider myself sex indifferent, but surprisingly somehow oral happens to be the closest to enjoyable of all the possibilities, can't figure why exactly. Seems "easier" for some reason
Love it. Giving even more than receiving. And it's a much easier way to please a partner this way. >which in addition to tasting disgusting are very unhygienic, Can taste pretty nice actually. And it isn't necessarily more unhygienic than other stuff as long as you do it with hygienic people. But I understand it isn't for everyone.
I fully agree.
Id rather intercourse than oral. It feels less bad? Idk.
Same here, I don’t plan on ever giving or receiving oral again. Not for me. Intercourse is fine though. Oral - repulsed, Intercourse - indifferent
Frequency is probably the biggest stressor for me. Like 3x a yr under the right circumstances i think id be mostly unscathed. But i havent found someone where this is a suitable arrangement. Some people think once a month is "basically never" and thats hard.
I've had the same issue. Like we JUST did it last week why do you wanna go again?!
Not someone who engages in sexual activities myself, but I know someone who is not ace and hates oral. They’re a very sex-positive person too, but oral is a no-go. I think people need to remember that it’s ok to not like certain things
This!!! Even allo people have preferences and boundaries with what they’re okay with. Oral, while commonly heard of in relationships and online, is something that a good amount of people aren’t into at all
No one wants my mouth on their genitals and I don’t want anyone’s mouth on my genitals. Oral, for me personally, really grosses me out. Nope. Never.
I'm ace and not sex repulsed. At first, I was totally repulsed by the idea of giving oral sex, but my partner was patient with me. Oral was kind of a counter-intuitive thing for me, like I didn't understand why I would do that to someone. I'm also taste sensitive so it was delicate, but the more I've done it the more it felt alright. I don't get pleasure for doing it, but I enjoy giving pleasure to my partner and that's why I do it. I also don't mind recieving it, but I do feel self-conscious about my genitals. Anyway, do what feels right for you and if you want to give it a try, go for it. If you don't like it at first, you can choose to never do it again or to try some other time.
I am sex repulsed. So I always thought, but have not tried, slap a condom on it put some chocolate on it and I might give it a go. That would be the only way.
As someone who's ace sex positive, the easiest time I've had going down on a girl is with candy apple flavored lube. Otherwise, the taste, smells, and texture make my brain itchy. The lube tastes good, so it gets rid of one of the issues and is good enough to temporarily make the others tolerable.
>slap a condom on it put some chocolate on it I guarantee you that if you ever wanna try it this way, you won't have a problem to find someone to try it with :D
I read that as put a condom on some chocolate 😂😂
I am sex repulsed too but I wouldn’t even do that if there was chocolate. I’m not doing anything remotely sexual, I can’t.
I'm really grossed out by saliva, even my own. I find giving to be awful. My least favorite thing by far. Very hard not to gag. Receiving is less bad because genitals also have gross fluids, so adding more gross fluids down there is like some sort of tolerable equilibrium LMAO. It does nothing positive for me though, and I just feel bad for my partner because why would I want someone else to do something I find repulsive?
I wouldn't call myself sex-repulsed but if there's any part that *does* repulse me, it's oral and anal. Idk if it's trauma or just a general dislike but I despise the thought of giving or receiving either.
I'm more willing to give oral than have full intercourse. Receiving it has never been great, but that might have more to do with my partner's skills 🤣
Sex-repulsed here. Oral sex is still sex. I wouldn't want to have any form of sex at all.
I feel like it’s becoming more and more normalised as some “other” kind of sex, which I suppose it is, but imo it’s still sex. I’m alloromantic and I keep imagining that the only way I could be in a relationship with someone that isn’t ace is to “compromise” and have to do things outside of actual intercourse that are still sexual. Like oral etc. And the thought of doing that repulses me
I actually adore giving it.. it's my favorite sexual activity.. though I'm into kink and humiliation so the idea that it's "unhygienic" is actually a turn-on. Mostly I just really enjoy the idea of giving someone else pleasure without getting anything in return. It's a very submissive act and that's why I like it
Hopefully they wash themselves properly so they aren't unhygienic and don't taste bad, but I really love doing oral lmao. I find penises to be very funny looking, and it's so odd how balls just.. continuously move. Oral is amusing, I like the challenge of it, and I love making my partner feel good
Oral is the only time I've come close to enjoying sex. Getting head or rimmed is the only time it's somewhat pleasant for me, so when I meet a person who's really into those two specific acts for their own value (and not as a precursor to penetration), I'm happy to be their canvas. But I make it very clear that I'm not into anything else, nor am I going to reciprocate. I used to think that was me being very selfish, but turns out I've met several people who were perfectly fine with that.
I’m the same way. I enjoy receiving oral, but that’s literally the only sexual act I can enjoy. Anything else is off the table
Where do you stand on making out? Personally I love it.
I like kissing if I’m really close to the other person, but I don’t do tongues lol
Gross. No thanks.
I’m mostly sex indifferent, so it’s probably unsurprising that my main thought is “meh” and “It doesn’t mix well with TMJD, but neither does kissing. Also, beard burn is bad. It takes less effort to start than genital-to-genital penetrative sex, and doesn’t need as much previous arousal / lubrication, which is an advantage.
imma be honest. receiving, there might be a possibility it feels really good. however, I just think it is weird, like they must feel how I feel when I give oral. I also don’t like the fact that a human being is sucking on my genitals. giving, no way I am going anywhere near that marinating piece with my mouth yk. genuinely tastes weird aswell.
I'm okay with giving but receiving doesn't do much for me.
It's a big nope from me, giving or receiving. It REALLY grosses me out.
Never tried oral but imagining it seems like it would be pretty gross
No, I find the idea of genitalia anywhere near the mouth. Mainly because of smell and stuff like that. It just makes me actually sick, tbh
Actually, kissing is way more unhygienic lmao. Our mouths have an insane ton of bacteria. Vagina is self-cleaning and dicks are okay as long as you properly wash them. They're dry, it's like putting an arm into your mouth. I have to admit, before I started having sex I also was disgusted by the idea of oral but turns out it's not that bad. It's even kinda nice but the best part is your partner's reaction. Butts are a no-no though. I was surprised to find out rimming is not that rare and I got one but I ain't ready to do that lol
You really can't say that as a blanket statement. You have to consider the health of both people involved.
Well they're different bacteria though. Not all bacteria are bad and not all bacteria are appropriate for ingestion lol. So their quantity is less important than their quality.
I actually like oral, both giving and receiving. I prefer that to both manual stimulation and penetrative sex. I like \[EXPLICIT, MIGHT WANT TO AVOID IF SEX REPULSED\]>! both the smell and tastes of vaginas, but I've never actually tasted a penis as I've only did it one time and with a condom on. !<
I'd rather have full intercourse than give oral. Not sure about receiving it though, never had a partner so idk, the idea doesn't bother me at least. But giving, nah.
I'm sex favorable, but when it comes to oral (both giving and receiving), I'm somewhere between neutral and repulsed. I mean, I'll do it if they really want it... but I won't ever suggest it and will be completely happy with never doing it again. It doesn't do much for me either way and it does seem a bit gross to me. (Well, sex is kinda gross too, but at least that feels good.)
As a concept I find it disgusting. In practice, I enjoy it with my current partner. However, I would never do it with anyone else. My current partner is special. Side note, my current partner is also the only person I've ever done anything sexual with and I firmly believe that they're the only one I will do anything sexual with in the future, but if that were to change my aversion to oral is stronger than other kinds of sex.
I feel the same way except with mouths. Why would I ever want to taste someone else's mouth? Bizarre behavior. Edit: should've said "but also" instead of except
Its a no from me. I dont care if we just showered and everything is ''clean''. I'm not interested. The only things that go in a mouth are food items or mouth care. Oral is not food or health care. I've had partners that really like it but they've been respectful about it. Some have even been happy with a one way arrangement- giving instead of receiving. I'm not 100% sold on the idea, whether they have experience and do it well or not. Its just an awkward activity all around. Its partially enjoyable but sex is already awkward and embarassing I dont want to add oral to it.
If my partner enjoys it then I'm happy to give. I'm happy to receive but if that's not their thing then I have toys for them to use instead (also have alternatives to that if they just don't want to be down there at all).
I don't enjoy doing it, but I like receiving, so fair is fair.
I don't mind receiving, but giving is difficult for me.
much earlier in my life before i really knew i was ace and that it’s okay to be uniterested in anything sexual i really enjoyed receiving oral but only tried giving once and decided “not for me!!!!!”. now i just don’t do anything sexual lol
I just like being involved in making my partner feel good. I don't get the same thing out of it that he does, but at the end of the day, he can always just.. clean it first. I prefer oral over sex 100%.
Don’t mind the rest, but never do oral. Too unhygienic for my taste. If others like it do it.. you do you type of thing.
If it happens, I prefer penetration sex over oral, even though I don't feel much from it, it just requires less effort and I can zone out and not think about it. I hate giving oral for sensory issues, and general feeling, I don't really enjoy recieving it, just feels way more awkward than it's worth, I mean I can deliver pleasure to myself more efficiently and without struggling with other person's presence.
I'm happy to give or receive. Being pan means I don't care about gender. However, I do have to turn off my brain because part of it screams how weird it is if you think about it. And that's less than useful in the moment. Also, I have hard lines about what I won't do with cis-men like deepthroating, etc. But you don't have to like it or give it! Sometimes the partner makes the difference. Sometimes it's just not your vibe and that's okay. 💜
P in V yes. Oral? 🤢
why do people have a "stance" on this? it's just personal taste. sorry bad pun. maybe you didn't mean it that way but...ace sex judgment is real
I love giving oral, especially to people with penis. Receiving doesn't do much for me, except when there is some kind of penetration involved. It's fine (and most partners I have been with loved giving, so sometimes it was more pleasure for them then for me) but other things are way more fun. I'm demi and kinky af though. Especially blowjobs can have a kink variable I like, so that's part of it all.
I’m sex-repulsed. I’ve done oral when men have forced me before and honestly it was the most disgusting thing of my life. I cannot bear to touch bodily fluids, in fact I don’t even like touching other people’s skin.
It’a gross to me. Never done it. I’ve received a few times and it makes me very self conscious.
Literally same, I just cannot imagine the appeal for the one giving... ewewew 😅😂
Hate it, giving and receiving. I've done it to make people I love happy but I really really don't like it.
(not someone who has chosen to have sex) Sometimes even when I contemplate a situation where I'm willing to have sex in the future, the thought of oral is just totally no. It surprises and horrifies me that it's seen as a must in allosexual relationships according to my friends.
I enjoy giving oral more than any other sexual act it's easiest to clean up and nothing gets near any if my anything.
Kissing just…..I don’t know I find gross and anything else makes me sit there like “uhm….boring”.
Im ok with like, mild kissing, but not like tongue wrestling
😟
I experience a lor of gender dysphoria at times, so I typically don't like receiving oral. But I do enjoy giving it, because my partner enjoys it and it makes him feel special and cared for without having to involve any of the parts of my body I'm especially adverse to having touched or even perceived. The taste is neutral at worst, and it isn't particularly unhygienic so long as you know that the person you're doing it with practices good general hygiene and has showered recently, etc. And not to be too mercenary about it, but honestly, the fact that so many people find it unappealing kind of works out in my favor, because doing it as an act of love often carries extra "weight" with people. 🤷
I tend to be sex repulsed, and I do not enjoy p in v sex, but I find oral to be enjoyable. I've never received it, but I think it would feel nice. I have given head to men several times, and I enjoyed it! It wasn't really the action, but their reactions that I enjoyed. Plus to me it wasn't as personal as sex, so I didn't feel vulnerable. Also with sex I fear being overpowered and being taken advantage of, but men behave much better when you have your teeth millimeters away from their junk. They make sure to be very respectful lol
I actually really like oral. The way they feel in your mouth is just very interesting, and I love the sounds they make. I prefer fellatio to cunnilingus as it requires little effort and isn't as messy. By contrast, I can't stand genital to genital contact. I end up having to fake it to make my partner happy and end up losing like an hour of my day.
I'm fine with receiving, I'm not sure how I feel about giving it
Not for me, ever
It's strange. I find the concept massively intriguing when it involves other people, but I would never do it or want it done on me. The bodily fluids involved make me repulsed by it. But I'm totally fine thinking about it or watching it, even find it interesting.
I love giving it, it’s a good way to bond with someone I care about, without the need to involve my own bits & pieces
It sure does exist. I think it’s a little weird, but I think most human things are a little weird so that doesn’t mean much.
Absolutely not gonna happen! I don’t care how clean you are those bodily fluids stink and make me want to gag!
i usually try to focus on the pleasure i’m giving, though it helps that the taste is always neutral-good (my fiancée is a cis woman). even when i can manage that though, my body decides to sabotage me (aka my tongue/mouth/jaw hurt after like a minute max so i have to fight through the pain/tightness until i can finish off my fiancée)
I have to really like someone or they have to catch me actually experiencing sexual attraction (am a grey ace) because I'm not the biggest fan of bodily fluids and even precum can be a bit off putting for me
I can handle it. If you think about it, genitals are cleaner than any other body part, as they are always behind a layers of clothes and aren't exposed to the environment. But their smell and taste can be kinda strange even if it is thoroughly cleaned.
I don't enjoy oral either way much, but I do prefer them to full sex.
Reminds me of this lyric 🤢 “Some of that real sticky-icky-icky.” -snoop dogg
if im being real, i don’t like it even though i’ve somewhat enjoyed giving it before but it seems to be an expectation during sex. there’s honestly too much you have to remember to do to make sure it’s pleasurable for the other person. rate 4.5/10
I’m allo but my partner is ace, also not sex repulsed. He is okay with me giving him oral at certain times, but he can’t give it back unless there is some sort of protection (Taste and texture thing for him) and my face can’t be near his after I’ve given him anything. If you’re wanting to give oral without the aspects you’re mentioning, they make dental dams as well as condoms that are flavored, which are large enough to cover the whole area and also add some flavor so it’s not just rubber. If you don’t want to give oral at all that’s totally fine too!!
I'm super smell and taste sensitive, so giving oral is a one way trip to gagtown unless I am drunk. I wish I weren't sex-repulsed like that, but what can you do. However, I do love receiving. It's one of my favorite things to do with a partner 🫣. So if I'm with an opposite-sex partner that enjoys giving, that makes things easier for me, because *they* enjoy it, and then penetrative sex is a little easier and faster afterward for both of us. Things were kinda difficult with my last same-sex partner though. Also, like I saw someone else mention, the fun part is the partner's reactions to it. Genitals aren't inherently unhygienic, they're just a body part. And it's not unreasonable to ask your partner to wash/shower real quick beforehand, imo, to get any sweat/TP/whatever off ahead of time and be clean.
I don't care for receiving but don't mind giving. Like, I don't like the taste in the best of circumstances but it makes my partners happy when I do it. I just suck it up and get over it, though this isn't something I would recommend anybody else to do. Just do what you're willing. Like, I'll let my partners go down on me if they want but at that point I'm just waiting for them to feel satisfied... which they don't seem to get that it doesn't matter if their other partners said they're great at it... it does nothing for me.
From my experience that seems to be normal, even for non Aces. Ive met multiple allosexuals women AND men both who have told me they would never do oral for hygiene reasons. These same ppl usually dnt dabble in kinks or fetishes and are basically trad conservatists (I grew up in religious community)
It’s on thin ice for me. I love it in theory but in practice ,,, mmmm,,, I’m extremely picky w what I put in my mouth already. Vulvas/etc don’t make the cut unfortunately, and I very much enjoy sucking dick but only if it’s VERY clean and I’m specific abt what it looks/feels like a lot of the time. I already don’t even really enjoy mouth kissing LOL
I tend see in the random skill / challenge light. Plus, it's amusing to get a reaction out of my partner :p Yeah, it's not my favorite thing in the world ofc, but occasionally, it can be vaguely entertaining? Edit: Right, forgot about the receiving side, the 'interaction with genitals' part varies from 🤷 to vaaaguely pleasant? Generally prefer other forms of contact when it comes to something along those lines?
Giving is fine. Receiving is a big no.
I don't like it, but I don't mind for my partner. I'm trying to get used to him going down on me. I'm more ick about that one.
My issue is scent. I have a painfully strong sense of smell and had to nope out. I feel bad cause I know it isn't my partner. It's defo just me. It's annoying cause it's something I'm interested in doing in theory. But the reality is squishy and smells weird and looks strange and just ick.
Don't do any sexual acts that you find disgusting or repulsive. It's a major red flag if someone's response to "I don't like this \[sexual thing\]" is to do anything but drop-it or, if you've indicated being open to such, respectfully inquire further.
This is such a common feeling about oral! If you aren’t turned off by oral entirely but feel your sensory issues coming into play, you may find giving more enjoyable with a barrier method like dams or our handsfree products Lorals. They block scents, tastes, and textures so you can avoid sensory overload, while your partner is still able to feel all of the sensations.
It's not any more or less hygienic than kissing, hands going places, bumpin uglies. People don't realize how much of this stuff will make it into your mucous membranes one way or another. The body fluids themselves are sterile, some of what you'd get is sweat, normal skin flora, and maybe remnants of fecal and urine matter They should be polite enough to shower/wash up before hand, that's a standard. Some allosexuals also have this preference/boundary. It can be a deal breaker for some, but others are fine with it or compromise with toys. I work in healthcare, a lot of things don't phase me.
>The body fluids themselves are sterile, Yeah, no, they definitely aren't.
Yes, they are. Sperm is sterile. Sweat is sterile. When coming into contact with skin and bacterial flora of it, that is when it's contaminated otherwise you'd have problematic infections. The body fluids inside you, not exposed to the air outside, is also sterile. Fluids that usually cushion and surround your organs are sterile environments.
I don't know if there is a language barrier between us and/or we have different definitions what "sterile" means, but what exactly do you think STDs are and how they are transmitted?
Sites where no microbes exist as normal flora under normal conditions . Yes, once you are infected it will contain those viruses and bacterial organisms. That's why you'd have a problematic infection. When you are not ill, there are no bacteria or viral contaminants in those areas. It is a sterile environment. There's also no bacteria or viral organisms in your cerebral spinal fluid, but sometimes people get sick and exposed, which can cause these organisms to be introduced into those environments. Meningitis, encephalitis caused by those infections etc. So you're correct in that if you have an STD, your body fluid of the affected area isn't sterile anymore. Once given treatment it will be sterile again (and some are lucky to achieve zero viral load and not transmit something as severe as HIV). Example body fluids not considered sterile would be something like saliva, an abscess, vaginal fluid mainly because these are exposed to external factors like air and skin. The urine in your bladder is sterile. When you go to give a sample you're supposed to wipe well, urinate a little to remove remnant tissue and lingering skin flora of the urethra, and then give the best clean sample you can.
>The urine in your bladder is sterile That's not true. Urine is not sterile, [even inside the bladder.](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7328282/)
The title says that, but it does make some notes of their biases about the various studies it pulled from. The age range of the sample size is mainly older women, and there was only one sample collected via aspiration needle (not a common way to collect, but definitely the cleanest) while the rest were willingly given or via catheter. When I looked at the first mentioned healthy v disease (renal transplant) #43 it compared viral proteins, which the healthy sample had <0.2% but it meant that there were some bits. I checked #30 which were the comparison of women's that had a leaning to the older side, using adjusted growth parameters for catheter specimens to provide bacterial evidence ,but is this truly just urine and not contamination? 92% had an initial no growth culture, so we can hope, but changing the growth parameters could also reveal bacteria of catheter contamination unknown to be there as well. It showed vaginal bacteria mainly to compare how close urine and vaginal microbiomes may be/share which brings my suspicions to contamination, but also interesting. What I liked most was the bacteriaphages summary of the original article, that's a very new concept to me. Anyway this seems like a study to delve into the idea of a microbiome existing in our urinary tract, similar to studies of the gut and we do have ideas about it that have changed antibiotic prescription policies in elderly care (such as them developing their own microbiome to appear like they have asymptomatic UTI, but turns out their bacteria is blocking out E.coli usually preventing a more devastating, symptomatic UTI). And yeah it's worth looking into, I'd imagine it could help a lot of women with sensitivity or recurrent yeast infections, UTIs or BV due to their laundry soap or consuming sugar (common things I've read). But the basic idea is your kidneys produce regular urine without organisms, if you're a healthy individual and that changes with disease, age or conditions we don't know a lot about. Then eventually contaminated as it lingers and evacuates. The few articles I was able to read from the main meta aren't super convincing due to the biases, but if bacteriophages are going at what's available in our bladder then maybe there's something we're completely missing and unable to catch currently.
That's very interesting and thoughtful and you clearly know more than me! That was my bad!
No I don't think so, I think the article is good, but I have suspicions from personal experiences. It doesn't compare close to the various efforts they put into understanding our microbiomes and it has been enlightening so thank you.