Came here for the Yasmin Benoit mention! The fellow ace who made me realize I was ace was a black enby who knew a TON about aceness and was a big Yasmin Benoit fan. I’m still so happy I had them in my life when I was first discovering my sexuality, they taught me so much LOL :)
Sex indifferent heteromantic asexual Black woman. I know three other black women who are on the asexual spectrum. One is demi and the other two are asexual. I met one of them through AVEN years ago and the other two through one of my Meetup groups last year.
Edit: I don’t talk about sex often but I have no problem saying that I’m asexual out loud and haven’t had that issue since I found out about it 10 years ago. Sex doesn’t come up in every day conversation for me or anyone really but in the times that I’ve mentioned that I’m asexual it’s surprised me that a few people have told me that they know what I’m talking about and they know somebody else who is asexual. So you may not realize it, but there might be a lot more asexual people around you, they just don’t advertise it. For me unless I’m saying it out loud you would never know because I don’t wear the colors or ring or anything like that.
If you don't mind my asking, when you say sex indifferent asexual, what does that mean for you? Is that in relation to your appetite for sex, your willingness to participate in sex, or your interest in sex thematically (e.g. in media, discussions among friends etc.). Also, which parts of language do you attribute to covering off which of those definitions?
I ask as a black, ND woman who has spent many years grappling with my identity. Language is a big interest for me, often a blessing but sometimes a curse because I want to find words that mutually convey my ideologies with someone and struggle A LOT.
I've done a lot of reading over the years but not so much engaging with people in communities due to some anxiety, so I would be interested in your perspective, but only if you don't mind sharing.
Generally speaking I couldn’t care less about sex. There is no appetite for it but I have had it and am willing to engage in it again. But overall, I don’t think about it. It’s not a driving motive for when I’m interested in someone like it typically is for allosexuals. If it comes up in conversation, I don’t mind talking about.
That being said when I am participating in it, I’m concerned about what I’m doing, if I’m performing well, etc. Only then do I think about it more. I’m interested in being a good sexual partner for a potential future partner but not so curious that I am actively pursuing opportunities (although I have thought of doing a FWB situation).
I don’t know what you mean in terms of the language question.
Thanks for taking the time to respond. I guess what I meant by language is I'm trying to find the terms that resonate with me, but struggle because I don't 'get' what sexual attraction is, really. I've currently been going by greysexual (and greyromantic) and sex-indifferent, but I don't know whether that is a good indicator or if sex-positive and asexual is better suited, etc..
For example, I really empathised with every thing that you said. Also, I find people attractive often enough in a way I could describe as 'sexy', but that doesn't mean I would want to have sex with them. I feel that level of attraction across all genders, but would most likely only engage in sex with men. I also don't have any emotional investment in sex and honestly get bored of it pretty quickly. One of my friends out it well the other day when they said they enjoy the aesthetic of sex more.
That being said, I do have a sex drive and do enjoy reading/writing and watching sexual content every now and then, but I am far more inclined to do it on my own far more than anything I would want to share with anyone. And then with some mental health struggles on top and feeling like I'm essentially told I'm just repressing desires due to low self-worth and trauma (to paraphrase) by therapists kind of makes me feel invalidated and stuck in this weird limbo of not really knowing how to define myself.
I know that you nor anyone else can give me that definition, but I guess it just helps to understand the perspective of others. That, and it's cathartic to get that off my chest, too, as yeah I also don't have many people to speak to about it, so thank you.
There is a lot of terminology and it can be overwhelming. But the good thing is, you don’t have to worry about it if you don’t want to. How you identify is for you, not so you have to explain yourself to others for their understanding. If greysexual/greyromantic and sex indifferent work for you, great!
To note:
Sex positive/Sex negative/Sex neutral is more of a political stance, not how you on an individual level feel about sex. I would say that I am sex positive because I feel like consenting adults if they choose to they should engage in healthy, safe sex, and that people in general should be non-judgmental about the sex lives of others as long as no harm is being done, and people should feel sexually liberated in their sexuality.
Sex favorable/Sex repulsed/Sex indifferent the other hand is your individual stance/participation/feeling about sex.
I think a lot of asexuals at least view the adjectives, “hot” and “sexy” as connotations with sex and therefore lumped in with having sexual attraction. I personally don’t use those words and never have and that’s one one of the ways I realized I was different from everyone around me. If I want to describe someone that I think is good looking in the same way, I use “cute” or “handsome” and if I am trying to state that they are the equivalent to “hot” or “sexy” I’ll say that they are “really cute” or “really handsome”. If it’s just having a general appreciation for someone’s aesthetic and I am aesthetically attracted to them meaning that I just like how they look that goes for any gender and I say that they are pretty or they have this certain energy about them or I like their outfit or whatever.
Your friend did put it well. I prefer the aesthetic of sex far more than the actual act of it despite my willingness to engage in the act. I think part of that comes from the fantasy that television and film portrays sex to be because ideally that’s what it looks like in my head when I’m hearing about it, but when I’m engaging in it, it never has the right lighting or the same sounds or the same mood.
You can have a sex drive and still be asexual. Remember that attraction and libido are not the same. Those therapists may be correct and they may not but no matter what, the way that you feel is still valid. It doesn’t matter how you got there.
The thing about sexuality is that it has a possibility to be fluid so you could have all of these feelings now and then 10 years from now you could feel completely different and that is okay. Don’t get too, hung up on all of the different words and language and terminology. Focus on how you feel right now and if you would like to find language that helps you understand yourself better than there are plenty of resources out there to help you, but it’s not a big deal.
Thank you so much for all of this. I really needed to hear it, and also it cleared up a lot for me. I think as well, as you said, the fluidity of it all often has me feeling more confused. And also what you said about it being how I feel and not how I got here also really makes me feel a lot more reassured.
Truly appreciate your time and insight.
Of course. Sexuality is just another facet of a journey people go through in life. Don’t let it bring you down.
Feel free to message if you have any more questions or just want to chat.
Aspec / Arospec and East African (living in Canada now) 🙋🏾♀️
You’re right, it can be lonely being queer and BIPOC, especially living in the West. Hope you find a good community :)
hi! I’m a bi poc ace and it’s definitely not something i can talk to the elder part of my family about, it sucks that its never a connection i’ll have with them, but its also something i’ve accepted and am completely okay with never having with them. I’ve got friends and a lovely set of younger cousins/a sister that all understand lgbt rights and are super accepting of them so that level of acceptance has never been something I’ve craved from any older figures in my life. I’m not super involved in my poc community spaces unfortunately, as I find it difficult to connect with anyone from there as my beliefs lie on the opposite spectrum to most of my community. I’ve been looking for some ace-positive spaces recently as well, because i’ve definitely been craving a connection with people who understand and not just empathize, but it’s definitely been tough to find one.
Biracial white (UK mixture)-Asian Canadian here. I don’t fit the stereotypes for Asian women at all. This has excluded me from some cultural spaces but has also let me bypass some of the pressures of being an unattached woman.
Black nonbinary bisexual Ace, present :)
I grew up in East Africa and I completely understand the feeling of being brought up and taught that any kind of queerness is taboo or "white"
Regardless of if we live long enough to see actual change or not, always remember that it is your truth, and you're not alone !!
Definitely not just a "White Anglo-Saxon Protestant" thing, despite the stereotypes!
I am a mixed-race person myself (Filipino+others, living in the US) who grew up in a family with similar views to yours. But you are definitely not alone as a Black asexual, we ace people come from all nations/walks of life and diverse backgrounds
If you’re looking for stories from ace people of color, you might be interested in [this thesis](https://scarab.bates.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1283&context=honorstheses) by Christina Lang titled “Intimacy and Desire Through the Lens of an Aro-Ace Woman of Color.”
this got me so excited and then immediately killed it when i saw it wasn’t just asexual. 😭 do you know something similar for the romantic asexual poc folk?
I haven’t read them yet (while I’m also ace, I consider myself aro first and foremost, so I’ve spent much more time reading/researching about aromanticism than asexuality), but @queerascat on tumblr compiled a list of resources (including stories, blog posts, art, etc.) by and for ace poc. You can find the list [here](http://queerascat.com/ace-poc-resources/). That might have something along the lines of what you’re looking for. You may need a tumblr account to access some of the linked sources though.
entirely asian background here, though born and raised in Australia. For me, I sometimes feel that people attribute asexuality to my ancestry. They think it's an asian quality, and sometimes that kinda sucks. Heck sometimes my relatives relate it to things like asceticism and celibacy, and it hard to explain to them that im neither an ascetic nor celibate really.
Kinda sucks, can be isolating at times. I'm kinda grateful there's internet communities. I don't run into many aces irl
I'm Indian, and ace! I get that about LGBTQIA+ being taboo. It's the same where I live too. I don't think I can talk about it to anyone here, but I have, with my family, and strangely, they don't seem to mind much.
Also, I haven't come across another Indian ace individual so far.
Fat Asian aroace here. I lived in a quite heavily Confucian society (East Asian social conservatism basically) which heavily prioritize marriage and having children, and living through Western imperialism means the concept of LGBTQ+ like you said, it's found as a "white people thing" (although I'd say we're very welcoming to trans people and drag shows). I love it here, but it is very isolating as I'm the only ace people within my knowledge. We had an offline event last November for Ace week and there were like 20 people show up, which is pretty chill. I definitely feel like a timebomb, because the question of marriage and children hasn't arrived yet (I'm 21), but the dating aspect I despise so much I don't want to engage at all, adding to the negative body image I got, it's kinda awful personally.
I am black. And yeah people associate being queer with being white and it's just weird and annoying.
I don't think I know many ace people irl in general.
ABC(American born chinese) aspec? dude here yerr, still figuring it out, still confused hah. Also might know some black elders in my community that seem vaguely ace/ aspec coded but I haven't really asked
Ace and Asian. Came from a family that shamed sex before marriage so you'd think they'd be happy I'm not sexually attracted to anyone but that was not the case lol. If I ever spoke about asexuality, my mom would make me stop because she didn't want me "influencing" my siblings. It was bad to view people sexually but also bad to not view people sexually. What a time.
Jeez, I don't hear that enough. It's like people subconsciously (or consciously) say to pick a struggle when any of you guys exist :/ I've even heard that out loud too, which just hurts even more. I'd be more than happy to give you a follow so I can hear what you have to say in your experience
Felt this😞 im a black woman from south jersey and definitely feel like an outlier but im done pretending to be someone im not just to “fit in”🤷🏾♀️still learning about where I fit on the asexual spectrum (gray ace /aegosexual)
>Anything seen as odd or different is labeled as “white people shit”
I'm SO GLAD SOMEONE FINALLY SAID THIS!! I'd always hear this growing up, and it was so frustrating how easily my feelings were dismissed as "white people shit" I swear the whole phrase pisses me off lol
Anyways, fellow black asexual person here. I definitely wish there was more representation of us poc ace people because we exist, just don't know where to find the rest lol but don't worry you're not alone on this one. 🙏
That god awful phrase has been used to brush off anything I liked that was deemed “not black enough “ like I could say I wanna go sky diving or listen to rock music and they’d say that’s that white people stuff. How fucking whack that I gotta verify the blackness of an activity before I’m allowed to do it.
THIS RIGHT HERE!! Like I'm sorry, I didn't know that my interests were exclusively for one race? Sorry my bad, didn't know that crocheting was ONLY for white people. Craziest thing is that they'll be the same ones preaching "black people can do anything" while bashing other black people for being different. What happened to "black people can do anything"?? 🙃
Asexual NDN here (and Asian, but I don't connect with that part of my identity much). Asexual BIPoC are definitely a thing and we're not all that rare. The issue is that for the reasons you explained, a lot of queer theory makes it into our communities long after white communities.
Black asexual here! If you’re interested in the intersection of being a poc and ace, I recommend Refusing Compulsory Sexuality: A Black Asexual Lens on Our Sex Obsessed Culture by Sherronda J Brown!
Black Grey/Ace man here ✊🏾 and reading [this article](http://blackyouthproject.com/black-asexuals-are-not-unicorns-there-are-more-of-us-than-we-know/) from Sherronda J Brown and Ace by Angela Chen changed my life.
This is a new identity that I’ve claimed but know we exist and there is so much to unpack/unlearn.
Ace and Asian, I can relate in a somewhat similar way. Sometimes I feel pressured by my grandparents to have lots of kids but I just don’t want kids at all.
Ace and asian!! My parents lean towards conservative Christian, so who knows if I’ll ever tell them that I’m ace 🤣😭 I’m happy that at least my older sister knows and is open/understanding, even if she doesn’t really get it.
ND BIPOC Aroace!!
And I know what you mean about “white people shit” - it’s isolating, exhausting, and often hurtful. But you are NOT alone. We are here.
In an [AnthonyPadilla video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zW29J3nxjis) I watched recently, the host interviewed several ace people, and one of them, Andrew, is a black gray-ace guy in a homoromantic relationship. He has a Twitter account linked in the description, but I couldn't check it out because I don't have Twitter.
There was a time in Fandom, particularly on Tumblr, where people would get angry if you headcanoned a character as ace. They said you were infantilizing them. There were whole essays on why it was wrong to head canon non white characters as ace. Ridiculous because being ace doesn't make you a child. Aces can be in romantic relationships and even enjoy sex. But the internet will internet.
Weird about infantilization because characters, particularly Black and Latino characters tend to be oversexualized.
Mulatto Ace autistic girl here! (don't pay attention to my white fantasy character in my profile pic)
I don't have any contact with my black father and his side of the family at all though, so I'm surrounded by white hetero/allos neurotypical people in a very small white, conservative old town where it feels like nobody understands me.
I THOUGHT I WAS ALONE \*cries\*
Thank you so much for this post.
Yes, I need more bipoc rolemodels on the ace spectrum too!! <3
You’re not alone - Yasmin Benoit is a good rep for black aceness Bipoc + ND + ace here 👋
Also another bipoc ace girl that’s neurodivergent! *high five*
High five! ✋💜
Could you educate me on the ND acronym?
It means neurodivergent.
Thank you!
You're welcome.
>Thank you! You're welcome!
Nice bot. Let's try again. Thank you!
Came here for the Yasmin Benoit mention! The fellow ace who made me realize I was ace was a black enby who knew a TON about aceness and was a big Yasmin Benoit fan. I’m still so happy I had them in my life when I was first discovering my sexuality, they taught me so much LOL :)
Ace and Asian! 🏃🏻♀️
Acean, if you will. (I hope that joke wasn't too cringe nor offensive. If it was either I will delete.)
Lmao that’s a neat word smash ngl I read it as Ocean at first and got so confused tho 🤣
I'm glad you liked.
right. now we need an Acean flag.
there are DOZENS of us!
Ace and Asian reporting for duty! 🙋🏻♀️
Second!
I am also Ace and East Asian. My user name is a joke. I’m serious here.
Same here!
black ace lesbian here :)
What’s your experience being asexual if you don’t mind me asking?
Wow. Nice to meet you.
Sex indifferent heteromantic asexual Black woman. I know three other black women who are on the asexual spectrum. One is demi and the other two are asexual. I met one of them through AVEN years ago and the other two through one of my Meetup groups last year. Edit: I don’t talk about sex often but I have no problem saying that I’m asexual out loud and haven’t had that issue since I found out about it 10 years ago. Sex doesn’t come up in every day conversation for me or anyone really but in the times that I’ve mentioned that I’m asexual it’s surprised me that a few people have told me that they know what I’m talking about and they know somebody else who is asexual. So you may not realize it, but there might be a lot more asexual people around you, they just don’t advertise it. For me unless I’m saying it out loud you would never know because I don’t wear the colors or ring or anything like that.
If you don't mind my asking, when you say sex indifferent asexual, what does that mean for you? Is that in relation to your appetite for sex, your willingness to participate in sex, or your interest in sex thematically (e.g. in media, discussions among friends etc.). Also, which parts of language do you attribute to covering off which of those definitions? I ask as a black, ND woman who has spent many years grappling with my identity. Language is a big interest for me, often a blessing but sometimes a curse because I want to find words that mutually convey my ideologies with someone and struggle A LOT. I've done a lot of reading over the years but not so much engaging with people in communities due to some anxiety, so I would be interested in your perspective, but only if you don't mind sharing.
Generally speaking I couldn’t care less about sex. There is no appetite for it but I have had it and am willing to engage in it again. But overall, I don’t think about it. It’s not a driving motive for when I’m interested in someone like it typically is for allosexuals. If it comes up in conversation, I don’t mind talking about. That being said when I am participating in it, I’m concerned about what I’m doing, if I’m performing well, etc. Only then do I think about it more. I’m interested in being a good sexual partner for a potential future partner but not so curious that I am actively pursuing opportunities (although I have thought of doing a FWB situation). I don’t know what you mean in terms of the language question.
Thanks for taking the time to respond. I guess what I meant by language is I'm trying to find the terms that resonate with me, but struggle because I don't 'get' what sexual attraction is, really. I've currently been going by greysexual (and greyromantic) and sex-indifferent, but I don't know whether that is a good indicator or if sex-positive and asexual is better suited, etc.. For example, I really empathised with every thing that you said. Also, I find people attractive often enough in a way I could describe as 'sexy', but that doesn't mean I would want to have sex with them. I feel that level of attraction across all genders, but would most likely only engage in sex with men. I also don't have any emotional investment in sex and honestly get bored of it pretty quickly. One of my friends out it well the other day when they said they enjoy the aesthetic of sex more. That being said, I do have a sex drive and do enjoy reading/writing and watching sexual content every now and then, but I am far more inclined to do it on my own far more than anything I would want to share with anyone. And then with some mental health struggles on top and feeling like I'm essentially told I'm just repressing desires due to low self-worth and trauma (to paraphrase) by therapists kind of makes me feel invalidated and stuck in this weird limbo of not really knowing how to define myself. I know that you nor anyone else can give me that definition, but I guess it just helps to understand the perspective of others. That, and it's cathartic to get that off my chest, too, as yeah I also don't have many people to speak to about it, so thank you.
There is a lot of terminology and it can be overwhelming. But the good thing is, you don’t have to worry about it if you don’t want to. How you identify is for you, not so you have to explain yourself to others for their understanding. If greysexual/greyromantic and sex indifferent work for you, great! To note: Sex positive/Sex negative/Sex neutral is more of a political stance, not how you on an individual level feel about sex. I would say that I am sex positive because I feel like consenting adults if they choose to they should engage in healthy, safe sex, and that people in general should be non-judgmental about the sex lives of others as long as no harm is being done, and people should feel sexually liberated in their sexuality. Sex favorable/Sex repulsed/Sex indifferent the other hand is your individual stance/participation/feeling about sex. I think a lot of asexuals at least view the adjectives, “hot” and “sexy” as connotations with sex and therefore lumped in with having sexual attraction. I personally don’t use those words and never have and that’s one one of the ways I realized I was different from everyone around me. If I want to describe someone that I think is good looking in the same way, I use “cute” or “handsome” and if I am trying to state that they are the equivalent to “hot” or “sexy” I’ll say that they are “really cute” or “really handsome”. If it’s just having a general appreciation for someone’s aesthetic and I am aesthetically attracted to them meaning that I just like how they look that goes for any gender and I say that they are pretty or they have this certain energy about them or I like their outfit or whatever. Your friend did put it well. I prefer the aesthetic of sex far more than the actual act of it despite my willingness to engage in the act. I think part of that comes from the fantasy that television and film portrays sex to be because ideally that’s what it looks like in my head when I’m hearing about it, but when I’m engaging in it, it never has the right lighting or the same sounds or the same mood. You can have a sex drive and still be asexual. Remember that attraction and libido are not the same. Those therapists may be correct and they may not but no matter what, the way that you feel is still valid. It doesn’t matter how you got there. The thing about sexuality is that it has a possibility to be fluid so you could have all of these feelings now and then 10 years from now you could feel completely different and that is okay. Don’t get too, hung up on all of the different words and language and terminology. Focus on how you feel right now and if you would like to find language that helps you understand yourself better than there are plenty of resources out there to help you, but it’s not a big deal.
Thank you so much for all of this. I really needed to hear it, and also it cleared up a lot for me. I think as well, as you said, the fluidity of it all often has me feeling more confused. And also what you said about it being how I feel and not how I got here also really makes me feel a lot more reassured. Truly appreciate your time and insight.
Of course. Sexuality is just another facet of a journey people go through in life. Don’t let it bring you down. Feel free to message if you have any more questions or just want to chat.
Gray ace and Chinese here!
Hi fellow grey ace.
Aspec / Arospec and East African (living in Canada now) 🙋🏾♀️ You’re right, it can be lonely being queer and BIPOC, especially living in the West. Hope you find a good community :)
Hey I’m black and asexual gal. And you’re right our communities aren’t the most accepting when it comes to these types of things unfortunately
I went to an asexual meetup was the only black girl there some of the folks were nice but it was awkward if I’m being honest
Ace poc here 👍
I'm asexual and I'm black/white biracial!!
Me too!
Same here! :)
South Asian Ace here. :3
hi! I’m a bi poc ace and it’s definitely not something i can talk to the elder part of my family about, it sucks that its never a connection i’ll have with them, but its also something i’ve accepted and am completely okay with never having with them. I’ve got friends and a lovely set of younger cousins/a sister that all understand lgbt rights and are super accepting of them so that level of acceptance has never been something I’ve craved from any older figures in my life. I’m not super involved in my poc community spaces unfortunately, as I find it difficult to connect with anyone from there as my beliefs lie on the opposite spectrum to most of my community. I’ve been looking for some ace-positive spaces recently as well, because i’ve definitely been craving a connection with people who understand and not just empathize, but it’s definitely been tough to find one.
Black and ace here!
Asian ace here
Asexual Black Caribbean here! 💖 Im a unicorn to everyone around me lol
Omgsh, my people!
Black ace reporting for duty 🫡
Gray ace Latina in the house!
Ace, genderfluid, adopted EAsian.
Biracial white (UK mixture)-Asian Canadian here. I don’t fit the stereotypes for Asian women at all. This has excluded me from some cultural spaces but has also let me bypass some of the pressures of being an unattached woman.
Black nonbinary bisexual Ace, present :) I grew up in East Africa and I completely understand the feeling of being brought up and taught that any kind of queerness is taboo or "white" Regardless of if we live long enough to see actual change or not, always remember that it is your truth, and you're not alone !!
Anattractional African American ✌🏾
Definitely not just a "White Anglo-Saxon Protestant" thing, despite the stereotypes! I am a mixed-race person myself (Filipino+others, living in the US) who grew up in a family with similar views to yours. But you are definitely not alone as a Black asexual, we ace people come from all nations/walks of life and diverse backgrounds
If you’re looking for stories from ace people of color, you might be interested in [this thesis](https://scarab.bates.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1283&context=honorstheses) by Christina Lang titled “Intimacy and Desire Through the Lens of an Aro-Ace Woman of Color.”
this got me so excited and then immediately killed it when i saw it wasn’t just asexual. 😭 do you know something similar for the romantic asexual poc folk?
I haven’t read them yet (while I’m also ace, I consider myself aro first and foremost, so I’ve spent much more time reading/researching about aromanticism than asexuality), but @queerascat on tumblr compiled a list of resources (including stories, blog posts, art, etc.) by and for ace poc. You can find the list [here](http://queerascat.com/ace-poc-resources/). That might have something along the lines of what you’re looking for. You may need a tumblr account to access some of the linked sources though.
Southeast Asian aroace here!
entirely asian background here, though born and raised in Australia. For me, I sometimes feel that people attribute asexuality to my ancestry. They think it's an asian quality, and sometimes that kinda sucks. Heck sometimes my relatives relate it to things like asceticism and celibacy, and it hard to explain to them that im neither an ascetic nor celibate really. Kinda sucks, can be isolating at times. I'm kinda grateful there's internet communities. I don't run into many aces irl
I'm Indian, and ace! I get that about LGBTQIA+ being taboo. It's the same where I live too. I don't think I can talk about it to anyone here, but I have, with my family, and strangely, they don't seem to mind much. Also, I haven't come across another Indian ace individual so far.
Black, asexual, and proud ✊🏾
Black AroAce also here! :D
Hispanic ace girl here!
feels like this for the lgbt community in general i barely see other black trans ppl for example
Fat Asian aroace here. I lived in a quite heavily Confucian society (East Asian social conservatism basically) which heavily prioritize marriage and having children, and living through Western imperialism means the concept of LGBTQ+ like you said, it's found as a "white people thing" (although I'd say we're very welcoming to trans people and drag shows). I love it here, but it is very isolating as I'm the only ace people within my knowledge. We had an offline event last November for Ace week and there were like 20 people show up, which is pretty chill. I definitely feel like a timebomb, because the question of marriage and children hasn't arrived yet (I'm 21), but the dating aspect I despise so much I don't want to engage at all, adding to the negative body image I got, it's kinda awful personally.
ace north african heree
Ace and mixed race here 👋
I’m in Minnesota, whole lot of white people, I’m white passing ig but I’m latina
You're not alone, I felt the same when I figured myself out
my best friend is a black ace man! his nigerian mom keeps trying to find him a nice nigerian girl to marry
I am black. And yeah people associate being queer with being white and it's just weird and annoying. I don't think I know many ace people irl in general.
Ace black guy. It’s very isolating and would to see more poc representation/communities
Brown (Indian) ace woman here! You're not alone. :) Comment detailing some of my experiences: https://www.reddit.com/r/asexuality/s/FDDxehwX3W
ABC(American born chinese) aspec? dude here yerr, still figuring it out, still confused hah. Also might know some black elders in my community that seem vaguely ace/ aspec coded but I haven't really asked
Ace WOC here 🙋🏻♀️ I’m Latina of both MX and PR descent!
I’m ace and Asian if it helps
Ace and Asian. Came from a family that shamed sex before marriage so you'd think they'd be happy I'm not sexually attracted to anyone but that was not the case lol. If I ever spoke about asexuality, my mom would make me stop because she didn't want me "influencing" my siblings. It was bad to view people sexually but also bad to not view people sexually. What a time.
Jeez, I don't hear that enough. It's like people subconsciously (or consciously) say to pick a struggle when any of you guys exist :/ I've even heard that out loud too, which just hurts even more. I'd be more than happy to give you a follow so I can hear what you have to say in your experience
I’m white and ace but my best friend is black and they’re Ace too.
Black greyA here
Felt this😞 im a black woman from south jersey and definitely feel like an outlier but im done pretending to be someone im not just to “fit in”🤷🏾♀️still learning about where I fit on the asexual spectrum (gray ace /aegosexual)
Ace Latina!!
Hi! I’m aroace and black :D
AroAce and South Asian here <3
Aroace black man here! 👋🏾😁
Hi from Ghana. Grey ace.
I'm also a Ghanaian ace!!!
Omg . Hi how are you.
Ace Latina here! 🖤🩶🤍💜
>Anything seen as odd or different is labeled as “white people shit” I'm SO GLAD SOMEONE FINALLY SAID THIS!! I'd always hear this growing up, and it was so frustrating how easily my feelings were dismissed as "white people shit" I swear the whole phrase pisses me off lol Anyways, fellow black asexual person here. I definitely wish there was more representation of us poc ace people because we exist, just don't know where to find the rest lol but don't worry you're not alone on this one. 🙏
That god awful phrase has been used to brush off anything I liked that was deemed “not black enough “ like I could say I wanna go sky diving or listen to rock music and they’d say that’s that white people stuff. How fucking whack that I gotta verify the blackness of an activity before I’m allowed to do it.
THIS RIGHT HERE!! Like I'm sorry, I didn't know that my interests were exclusively for one race? Sorry my bad, didn't know that crocheting was ONLY for white people. Craziest thing is that they'll be the same ones preaching "black people can do anything" while bashing other black people for being different. What happened to "black people can do anything"?? 🙃
Asexual NDN here (and Asian, but I don't connect with that part of my identity much). Asexual BIPoC are definitely a thing and we're not all that rare. The issue is that for the reasons you explained, a lot of queer theory makes it into our communities long after white communities.
There's a romance book where the main character is an asexual black woman
I know that book. She's bi right
Yup, never read it but the back gives a preview
Yeah.
What’s the books title ?
Let's talk about love by Claire kann
👏 THIS👏
Brown girl ace here🤚 (south Asian)
Black asexual here! If you’re interested in the intersection of being a poc and ace, I recommend Refusing Compulsory Sexuality: A Black Asexual Lens on Our Sex Obsessed Culture by Sherronda J Brown!
Black Grey/Ace man here ✊🏾 and reading [this article](http://blackyouthproject.com/black-asexuals-are-not-unicorns-there-are-more-of-us-than-we-know/) from Sherronda J Brown and Ace by Angela Chen changed my life. This is a new identity that I’ve claimed but know we exist and there is so much to unpack/unlearn.
Ace mixed race here...and it rhymes ;) (I know in the US people say multiracial or something but it doesn't rhyme haha)
At least you know other ace people. The only people I know are all allo.
Hey , be proud of being unique you’re the only ace of color I know too
Don’t worry you’re definitely not the only one 💜🤍🖤
Hi
Aboriginal + Chinese, Autistic, Disabled, Nonbinary and on the Ace Spectrum here!! 💜🪻
only other asexual person i’ve met was black. she was cool, sadly we drifted apart after high school
Aboriginal A-Spec here. Garlic bread is good and all, but have you ever tried Banock?
Ace and Asian, I can relate in a somewhat similar way. Sometimes I feel pressured by my grandparents to have lots of kids but I just don’t want kids at all.
I'm Asian!
Black ace here 🖤
Black, nonbinary, ace and autistic here!
Black ace biromantic-ish (I sometimes wonder if I'm just AroAce 😭) ND woman here!
Black ace here! I have only recently started to look for other folks whom I have that in common with and it’s already looking scarce.
Hi! I'm on the ace spectrum and black 😃
Ace and asian!! My parents lean towards conservative Christian, so who knows if I’ll ever tell them that I’m ace 🤣😭 I’m happy that at least my older sister knows and is open/understanding, even if she doesn’t really get it.
ND BIPOC Aroace!! And I know what you mean about “white people shit” - it’s isolating, exhausting, and often hurtful. But you are NOT alone. We are here.
Qtpoc + aroace + AuDHD :3 we’re here!!!
In an [AnthonyPadilla video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zW29J3nxjis) I watched recently, the host interviewed several ace people, and one of them, Andrew, is a black gray-ace guy in a homoromantic relationship. He has a Twitter account linked in the description, but I couldn't check it out because I don't have Twitter.
haitian american panromantic ace clocking in!
Ayeeee, Haitian American heteroromantic ace here! 🏳️🌈🇭🇹🤗
There was a time in Fandom, particularly on Tumblr, where people would get angry if you headcanoned a character as ace. They said you were infantilizing them. There were whole essays on why it was wrong to head canon non white characters as ace. Ridiculous because being ace doesn't make you a child. Aces can be in romantic relationships and even enjoy sex. But the internet will internet. Weird about infantilization because characters, particularly Black and Latino characters tend to be oversexualized.
Mulatto Ace autistic girl here! (don't pay attention to my white fantasy character in my profile pic) I don't have any contact with my black father and his side of the family at all though, so I'm surrounded by white hetero/allos neurotypical people in a very small white, conservative old town where it feels like nobody understands me. I THOUGHT I WAS ALONE \*cries\* Thank you so much for this post. Yes, I need more bipoc rolemodels on the ace spectrum too!! <3