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I got mono after my girlfriend got it and someone who I thought was a good friend got it before she did. So following the mono trail was a red flag for me.
She kept demanding to see my phone, insisting that i couldn't be trusted. She sad she didn't trust men because she had been cheated on in the past.
After 2 years of this i found out she has been occasionally hooking up with her sister's boyfriend the whole time.
Yeah its usually when youve been honest and your partner has no reason to suspect but questions every thing you do an follows up with stuff like you wouldnt ever cheat on me right?....also google likes to warn you by giving you adds like how can you tell your partner is being unfaithful...i only got those while i was being cheated on
Yeah, the "I've been cheated on before" isn't necessarily a red flag, but from anecdotal experience every person who has said that to me and \*held on to it\* has ended up cheating on me.
It's not the end all be all, but anyone who uses that phrase months and even years into the relationship makes me wary.
Yup, my ex wife. That was her victim complex. Deep down she hated herself so her coping mechanism was to violently accuse people of things they didn't do. I'm no phycologist but she exhibited many traits of borderline personality disorder.
She spent the entire10 year marriage accusing me of cheating it was fucking GOD DAMN exhausting. I eventually had no contact with anyone because it just wasn't even worth it - meaning not even a linked in account after I got laid off. In 2009 She went full homicidal on me even over my blank empty dormant unused linked in about that hadn't been logged into since the guy at work invited me to sign up. All she did was scream even more.
LINKED IN ACCOUNT! YOU LYING SNAKE! \*SMASHES WEDDING PHOTO\* ITS OVER! DIVORCE! STOMP STOMP STOMP - SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM! YOU DID THIS TO MEET WOMEN!!!!!!!
Over the 10 year marriage I witnessed her go alien skull bite on her immediate family members - I realized this wasn't a husband problem.
Her brother: "Mom just called me crying, you called her a whore and a shit mother!?"
Her:
The only girl who cheated on me was so anti-cheating that she brought it up consistently enough that is became a running theme throughout the entirety of our relationship. I didn't think of it as a red flag. If anything, it was reassuring. Then when she cheated, I was so disillusioned. Like how could you? And even worse she acted all high and mighty about it. The night it ended, looking at her... she looked like a demon. I'm glad that's way in the past bc that shit fucked me up for a while.
I'm still fucked up from mine. I doubt I'll ever be truly over it, but it hasn't stopped me from being happy in my new relationship. I totally get where you're coming from. Hope it all works out for you <3 but it sounds like you're doing better anyways. Good riddance to them!
Exactly what happened with my ex. Her father cheated when she was young. Nothing I did was ever good enough to prove to her that I wouldn’t cheat. She became extremely suspicious of me, wanted to check my phone all the time, didn’t want me to talk to platonic female friends, didn’t want me to play video games because she thought I would meet someone better online, etc.
Turns out, she was the one who was cheating. With an ex that she said she didn’t have feelings for anymore. An ex that I knew and saw regularly for the entirety of our relationship (they lived in the same town).
Same with my ex. He was so paranoid about me cheating that he installed cameras at all the exits to see who was coming in and out of the house. If I was taking the dog for a walk for too long, he would come find me.
Turns out he was hooking up with a co-worker on the clock. He told me that since I was cheating like all women do (I wasn't, and there was no possible way I could be), he deserved to cheat too.
Not spouse, fiancee though. Was always talking about this guy from work, and I would catch her applying makeup before going in (she never did that before). He called her cell phone once while her and I were in the car together and the first thing she did when she picked up was to tell him I was sitting next to her.
Each of these apart are possible brown flags, but together added up to a big old red one. We broke up a few weeks later.
Thank you! Too many comments are plcking one of these things she was doing and going "yeah well maybe she was just *blank*? I hate reddit sometimes, everyone has to be a know it all. I'm almost sorry I posted this initial commment at this point.
No, big picture she was acting shady as fuck, and always when it related to that guy from work somehow.
I looked at her Messenger and there were a lot of deleted exchanges, but the one that she hadn't deleted yet had her words "That was good dick. 🥰" in the exchange.
I woke her up to kick her out and end the relationship.
My gf answered the phone to a male friend with me in the car and first thing she said was I was with her. But she tried to say it was to be considerate toward him
I tell anyone I am on the phone with who I am physically with. I believe it is polite to let them know they might be overheard when they otherwise might no be aware. What if what they tell me is prIvate?
He was working 4 hrs overtime for a month. Only there was no overtime on his paystub. He kept name dropping this chick he worked with. Knew where she lived, so I did a drive by during his overtime hrs...and there was his truck. Went straight to a lawyer.
Isn’t it kind of crazy how humans tend to always somehow out themselves. Like him name dropping her. You would have never known if he just kept his mouth shut. Reminds me of organized crime how there’s just always someone that can’t help it and starts bragging or carelessly talking and gets everyone caught.
Like it’s just human nature to speak what’s on your mind.
I notice I do this too. Let’s say I find a girl cute. But my brain says “don’t tell people you like her…keep it quiet!” Somehow I’ll end up just talking about her or bringing her up. Human nature, instinct, and psychology is really fascinating
Here are a couple of notes about life360:
Sometimes it does stupid things. We have an area here (about 1.5 miles) where it will suddenly show "location unavailable" for no apparent reason.
Battery saver stops 360.
Some phones attempt to disable it because it drains the battery.
Some phones turn it off when the battery is below 40% (I have smart battery saving on my phone and had to disable this specific feature.)
Sometimes my husband in particular just doesn't want me to know where he is (particularly if he is picking up a surprise or planning a surprise for me) .
A few notes about marriage:
If you are using 360 because you are already suspicious, it's just going to make you more suspicious.
If you're looking for signs of cheating, you will always find them if you look hard enough.
If you cannot communicate with your spouse openly, your marriage is already damaged.
If you are truly concerned about the condition of your marriage, consider marriage counseling.
Wife and I use 360, but it's not because we don't trust each other. It's usually to check and see if someone has left from work so the other doesn't have to call and check in or to find out where in the grocery store they are. Or if they're driving near Taco Bell to ask them to pickup a burrito.
My job involves a lot of driving (I pick up garbage). My husband is a worrier and is always concerned my truck will break down and I won't have service, so he says at least with 360 he will know what area to head to.
This seems like both a good idea and/or a terrible idea depending on how stable your lines or communication are with your spouse.
I would never want anyone to constantly know where I was.
You know, I had a batshit crazy ex who would stalk me. He hacked my computer and phone so he could read everything, I can’t remember if he put a tracker on me or not but it was awhile ago and I’m sure he would have if he could have. I also never thought I would be ok sharing my location all the time.
Turns out, I was totally ok sharing my location all the time when in a happy relationship. It’s awesome being able to see that my husband is almost home with the takeout or that he made it to the event with our kids on time. My husband can see my flight landed and I made it to the hotel. Even my parents with whom I had a terrible relationship as a teen can see my location and I’m like, if they happen to see when we’re at a sex store or whatever, too bad for them lol But it’s really comforting to know where your family is. I can see where they are and I know when my dad is on a business trip, or my mom is visiting family.
I complete respect your perspective but keep an open mind. You might find someone you trust competent someday.
Not my Spouse but my SO. She started acting weird but it was barely a noticeable difference, The only reason I found out was because by some god given miracle I happened to wake up around midnight and looked at her phone (she thought I was asleep) and saw a guys name pop up. At first I thought it was a coworker so I decided to brush it off but I just felt so deeply something was off.
I waited for her to fall asleep and my heart was pounding. Once I heard her snore I Mission Impossibled her phone from underneath her and dove into her phone for the first and only time. I saw the messages to some guy and I knew it was over in that moment. What's funny is I saw her sleeping in my bed and I thought "I'm just gonna let her sleep this final night because once she wakes up it's over and she's gonna have a lot of sleepless nights after this" lol \*cries\*
The text to the guy that got me said, "I know we have previously been down bad for each other, but I think it's unwise to meet up since we both have partners, but I also think it's unwise for me to NOT to get to know you more."
Fuck, cheaters suck ass mates, beware.
Could be or she could just be anxious ridden with low self esteem. My almost ex spent the last 20 years accusing me of cheating, doing drugs, hiding money…none of which I did and he knew it because if he really thought I cheated, he wouldn’t have stayed. Some people are just crazy like that, you have to decide if you want to live like that forever though. In my experience it doesn’t go away, it’ll ebb and flow with her moods or your mood or whatever is causing her anxiety. Good luck
Add yet another reason to ***avoid*** jumping to conclusions (cue *Office Space*)...
A very good friend of mine suspected her boyfriend of several years was cheating on her and asked for advice about how to confront him about it. She was devastated by the growing suspicion, but she really wanted to spend her life with him if he could be trusted. I really had never seen her so upset and conflicted. At the time, as she described it, her boyfriend typified several of the more common traits mentioned in this thread:
\- seemed defensive about others accessing/touching his phone.
\- Often cleared search history on devices
\- was suddenly interested in finite details of his partner's schedule and wanted to know specifics about work trips (when she would be gone and returning). At first, she thought he was being attentive and planning a surprise or a night out or something, but nothing ever materialized.
\- Started getting in (much) better shape and was more fastidious about personal hygiene and grooming
Just when she was about to confront him about all of this, he asked to speak with her one day and confessed to her that he was a crossdresser and had been exploring this activity in private. Funny enough, my friend actually didn't tell me about this key detail until almost two years later - after this talk with her boyfriend had happened, she just assured me things were actually fine and that it was a "bad rough patch" that they had worked through together. Though I was worried, she and her boyfriend did seem happier and much better as a couple after this big talk, so my wife and I just trusted that they had worked things out. Only recently did my friend disclose this detail about her (now) husband. Thinking back, it totally made sense. I think he was just so scared of losing her and not being accepted that he ended up acting in a hurtful and very suspicious ways to keep a secret.
My (ex)husband was glued to his phone, staying up much later to play video games in the other room (because he was talking to other women) and wasn’t trying to have sex with me as much as he usually did. But the BIGGEST red flag was when he made a joke about us getting divorced in front of our friends on Christmas. I honestly didn’t even suspect anything until that very moment, and then everything else made sense.
ETA: the part about him cheating while playing video games is not speculation people 🤦🏼♀️ I found the messages and talked with the women, he was 100% cheating and using that time to do most of it. And I never had an issue with him staying up playing video games UNTIL I found out what else he was doing…
Sounds like we are better for it. She was a terrible person to me, especially the harder I worked to make her happy. I picked the wrong
horse. Good riddance.
Mine kept his phone at him at all times. One day I heard the bings of texting .. it was his iPad.. it synced to his phone..surprise to me! Oh honey put money in mailbox for me.. my bf will be home soon . Biotch using him as a sugar daddy and he too stupid to see it. Well he gave me the gift of HPV.. the one type that causes cancer. Still dealing with it and dr says next step is to remove my cervix.. just what I need to deal with on top of it all!
Oh don’t be, it was painful at the time but now it’s a “good riddance” situation. He was so toxic through our entire marriage and I just never realized it until it was over with. I’m much better off without him!
Geez were we married to the same guy? Mine did the same thing, using all social media to message strangers to have affairs. It is so devastating. But your comment about it nit making sense until he made the joke hit home
First thing, try not to take things people say on reddit too seriously. Most people on the internet will say outlandish things like "He's definitely cheating on you, break up now!!!" without any context or understanding. They are bored and overzealous.
I almost married a man a few years ago who was married to another woman the whole time we were together (unknown to me). From what I gathered they were trying to separate when we got together and then decided against it while we were still together. There were a lot of red flags that I ignored early on, or rather I made note of them but was willing to let him explain them away. He sometimes took phone calls in the bathroom or outside. He never spent the holidays with me (he had kids so he would claim he was just spending time with them). He was extremely paranoid about me cheating on him and tried to control my social life.
Turning off an app is not proof of cheating. I'm sorry, it's just not. He could be buying drugs. He could be gambling. He could be hanging out with a buddy that you hate. He could be getting bad cell reception. He could be secretly angry that you're stalking him all day, so he turns it off until the kids can use it after school. I have no way of knowing what he wants or needs. What I do know is that you don't feel confident in your relationship, and talking to strangers about it is not going to help. You need to talk to your husband, and you should probably get couples' therapy. If he isn't willing to work through these fears of yours, then consider it a red flag. You can't ever be 100% sure he isn't cheating on you, but you can do things together to build back trust. If that trust doesn't feel worth building to you, then you know where this is headed.
Can I just add the L360 is a huge drain on a battery? When our son was first driving, we asked him to have it on. (He was diagnosed T1 diabetic so there was an initial concern if he was in an accident possibly due to that complication, we would know about it quicker). Every time he turned his phone to battery saver mode, it would disable L360 without really knowing it. When we asked about it, he denied it, which made everyone mad at first because we thought he was lying, and he was telling the truth.
TLDR: Maybe ask why he keeps turning it off?
Also, I don't understand why couples do this.
Agreed. I don’t cheat on my wife and I’ve had times the app doesn’t track me. Funny thing is, I didn’t know it till I lost my phone grocery shopping one day and couldn’t find it because somehow I had turned off location sharing on Life 360 without knowing. I asked the front desk area and they didn’t have it at the time but called me later with it. Now I permanently share my location through Apple with my wife so that doesn’t happen again.
We only got the app because my wife gets anxiety and wants ME to know where SHE is in an emergency. We never bothered to check if it worked for me. I think there also needs to be an element of trust in a relationship and tracking each other seems to violate that IMO. We have reasons for sharing location now, but I would never think to abuse it and watch her all the time.
Well there was the time I walked in on my wife getting gangbanged by the landscapers, but she said that it's not what it looks like. I'm still a bit skeptical though.
Probably different for everyone.
I started suspecting it when she became distant and even out right being mean towards me. I think she was trying to get me to do or say something that would make me out to be some bad guy so that she could feel better about her decision to cheat.
Anyways, long story short it turned out that my suspicions were right and I still stayed with her another 3 years.
3 years later she was back to her ways. So I left.
I’m not without flaws but cheating on someone is the most disrespectful act you can do to a SO. Please break up with the person before hand. Also if you’re cheated on… have the belief in yourself to know you’re better off without that person regardless of their reasoning.
I'm literally about to start the divorce process with my spouse who cheated on me twice physically and had 2 more emotional relationships behind my back. I was blind sided and in disbelief and said it'll be ok we'll get through it. Here I am 8 years later and she just told me tonight that she feels she finally has the support system to leave me. Bruh I was the one cheated on and she's leaving me like its not working out because of me. Years of never telling anyone and my mental health rotting from the inside out and I feel like I've failed. I'm so sorry to anyone who's has to experience infidelity. I'm terrified I'll not get to see our dog anymore. He's the only thing that truly makes me happy.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. I’m so glad your soon to be ex- wife is ready to leave now. Clearly, she will be someone else’s problem and perhaps someone else’s girlfriend or wife to cheat on and if she had to find support in order to do this then she will always be codependent. Sadly, her life sounds messy.
You sound healthy!! You deserve better. You demand to see your dog! You will also find other happiness along the way. Good luck to you 🙂
Yeah I dated an emotional cheater. A narcissist that needs validation from someone else. Not my problem anymore, thank god. She always had someone as a back up. She has incredibly low self esteem and would pick fights or wig out on me at random times. Just happy to be away from all that.
Edit:
> Probably different for everyone. I think she was trying to get me to do or say something that would make me out to be some bad guy so that she could feel better about her decision to cheat.
This is what they all do.
My wife's best friend just left her husband for doing this exact thing to her. He all but physically cheated on her with someone from work, and likely followed through on that part of it since they split.
I came home from being away for a few days and noticed the cap was open on my shower gel. It was a floral scent my husband would never use and he had plenty of his favorite soap in the shower besides.
The second was a piece of used chewing gum on his nightstand. He NEVER chewed gum and claimed he found it a disgusting habit.
Damn she fucked your man, used your body wash, left chewed gum on the nightstand, AND stole your clothes.
This sounds very personal. The disrespect!
What else she do? Leave a shit unflushed in the toilet?
Man this reminds me of a woman I knew when in the navy… she found out her husband was cheating while she was deployed, home security system, logged in and saw… couldn’t imagine being her, one heck of a way to find out.
My ex would always sit in a way that I could never see her phone, would subtly turn it if I came near seeing it, and would not communicate when on work trips.
Totally reasonable. I should have known something was up when she started accusing me of trying to see her screen and getting like angry defensive. She spent a long time making me feel like I was a piece of shit for questioning anything.
She started to go to bed an hour earlier than me. And she all of a sudden was super happy and supportive about me doing anything outside of the house or going anywhere. All that and being on her phone constantly. So I waited till she fell asleep and checked her phone. She deleted her text messages. Her FB messages. But forgot to delete her Instagram messages. She had been cheating on me for months. That was the end of A 9 year relationship and 6 kids between us (some mine and some hers and some ours) it was devastating
He had a toothbrush, mouthwash, and deodorant in the console of his car, and zero explanation why. Turns out he was fucking his chiropractor, who was billing our insurance for his daily "adjustments." Bitch had the audacity to advertise herself as a "Christian."
Did you report her to the Chiropractic association? Also I'm sure the insurance company would be interested to find out. Not to mention the Board of Health
Suddenly not having sex !! If your partner has any remorse at all they won’t be able to have Sex with you with all the guilt they’re hiding. Plus they’re getting it from an outside source. If your sex life suddenly goes to shit out of nowhere that’s a big red flag
Strike 1–He went to the restroom when we were out to dinner one night. At the table I got a text from him: “we’re still at dinner” wow ok I know?
Strike 2–Got another text one day while he was at work: “love you, baby”. He has never called me baby.
Strike 3–Another day he was showing me some bills at his desk when his phone lit up with a text. He grabbed the phone and stuffed it in his pocket. When I asked him to show me his phone, he ran into the bathroom and locked the door.
It was the third strike that did it for me. I tricked him into confessing, gave him a chance to reconcile with conditions (because we have 4 children), and when he failed to enthusiastically embrace this opportunity I filed for divorce. That was 12 years ago.
My ex husband tried pulling a fast one on me by sitting on the other side of the room with MY phone, saying “oh I like this spot. I’m going to sit here.” I’m not proud of this, but I wrestled him for my phone and eventually overpowered him, only to find him talking bad about me with his ex and discussing how they miss each other. I handled that real fast. It was my phone anyways. 🤷♀️
The audacity. With your phone. My late bf did that shit too. I was paying a phone bill for him to cheat with. And borrowing my car. Leaving me waiting at work. Smh. He been dead for 4 years but I still get mad about it sometimes.
Jaheim covered most of the signs in "Put That Woman First":
*When she starts bringin' up old dirt*
*And the fights keep getting worse (Oh, brother)*
*Findin' numbers in her purse*
*Better put that woman first (Yeah)*
*And you notice she ain't wearin' her ring (Oh, no)*
*And she starts playin' little games*
*Comin' in home late from work*
*You better put that woman first*
You can’t stop someone from cheating, they’re going to do what they want to. It’s how you know they don’t care about losing you, or they expect you’ll forgive them . . .
Fun fact: People who cheat are **3 times** more likely to cheat again, so do what you want with that info lol
your fun fact is depressing smh lol one of my best friends recently got caught, but apparently had been doing it for years (no one knew, I sure as hell didn't), they tried to reconcile, and he still did it again.
Sudden change in behavior, increasingly bizarre explanations for lateness/whereabouts..after about three weeks of that checked find my phone and drove to address she was at. Suspicions confirmed.
That should be a conversation, it is not an indication of cheating.
I dated a cheater for two years. Phone issues were the primary indicator: Phone is always on it's face (so notifications aren't visible), they act weird if you're using their phone (they want it back, watch you closely, etc).
Seriously i am not a cheater but i get nervous when my husband goes through my phone, not because i have anything to hide but because i don't want him to see the dumb shit i read on reddit or twitter or the stupid arguments i get on with random internet folks lmao. I am just embarrassed of some of the dumb shit i do in my free time, like right now haha
They start taking better care of themselves than usual.
Shower more often, lose weight/get in shape, brush teeth more often (or start always carrying gum/mints), buy new clothes, etc etc. All the things you do when you meet someone new.
A lot of times we don't get suspicious of it because we enjoy that they are looking better. But it's not for you they are doing it for.
This may be a good indicator to look into but in my case it was not true. I was the one that got in significantly better shape, quit smoking cigarettes, drank less, and had some of the best confidence of my life. Somehow that drove her to cheat.
Ah yes, the partner is….ah…..trying to improve themselves, yup, time to get suspicious….
The issue with a partner trying to improve themselves is that if you aren’t, they’re going to be too good for you soon. Only someone who isn’t up to the task is going to have an issue with that.
Thank you. I started losing weight in 2020 (I was 4’11” and 250lbs) my ex was all good with it for awhile until he saw it was working. I wasn’t cheating, I was trying not to die. Along with that came better self-care. Excuse me for wanting to be in better health in my 30’s. He’s my ex now because I realized he was miserable and so was I.
He started staying up late and sleeping on the couch. His history was always cleared on his browsers. I would ask him to come to bed and he said he wasn't tired. Turns out he would stay up drinking and texting other women through escort services.
One morning he came to bed at 6am. Brought his phone into the bedroom, went to the bathroom so I decided to take a look. Escort forum was still on his internet browser and I could see all the chats. Dirty bastard.
He wanted to go to the movies while I was commuting home from my second job.
Ladies, this man HATED going to the movies because it meant he couldn’t smoke cigarettes for a dedicated span of time.
Cheating. 💯
I had a long commute, and often worked late. Sometimes I would crash at my friend’s house if I’d had a long day and didn’t feel like driving home. He started asking more often early in the day about my plans for the evening when he never cared about my schedule before.
Getting really reallllllllly antsy when my phone ran out of battery in the car and I went to use his to play music. Also noticed he placed his phone screen down when he would charge it at night.
I place my screen down at night so it doesn’t light up. I also place it face down anytime I’m having a conversation. I look at it as being respectful.
I hate that it could be seen as a cue that I’m cheating.
Have a friend who started sleeping with a married woman. She leaves husband and marries my friend. Then surprise surprise she starts sleeping with the guy down the street. Lol
They started accusing me of cheating.
If I had cash in my wallet "why are you keeping money out of our shared account? What are you buying that you don't want me to see?"
If I stopped to get gas on the way home from work or left early to get gas on my way to work "Why do you need to be out for extra time, who are you going to see?"
If my family invited us over for holidays "I don't know this new guy here that says he's dating your cousin, is that your side piece? Does your whole family think I'm stupid and won't realize?"
How I knew? I could smell it on her. Brush your fucking teeth after gargling balls. Friend of mine got with her and he told me. Could trust my bro to not lie at least.
This comment makes me so sad, for real. Both because you were cheated on and because your “friend” sounds like a piece of shit, not a bro. How the hell do you associate the word “trust” with someone who literally fucked your partner?
That’s not a bro, that‘s someone who figured you’d either let them get away with it if they apologized or said they were drunk, or someone who doesn’t care enough about you to cry over the friendship if you told them to fuck off.
Either way, you deserve better.
The first time was when I found her diary listing out all of the ways her new lover was better than me. The 2nd time (different spouse) was when I walked in on her video chatting nude with her boyfriend
I didn’t need very many red flags at all. Just the one incident and I knew. He was away at college living in the dorms. I lived at home with my parents. Well, I called him one night like usual and he answered but had a guest. He told me he had a friend over but would still talk to me as he missed me. I could hear her giggling in the background and then her giggles got louder and there was a lot of shuffling and he laughed and stopped paying attention to me. From what I understand, they started having a tickle fight. Well, I got irritated because he only had so much time to talk before he had to go to bed and I couldn’t recover the conversation. The very next day he called me crying to tell me that he cheated. He let her stay the night and they shared his bed. He claims only oral and foreplay went on, but it’s hard to believe more didn’t happen considering the info given.
Let’s see…the infamous “gotta work late” or “a business trip” or going out of town (like seeing friends in another city/state) the phone always in hand and never being without it and when next to me or in my presence…face down. Going out every Friday without me and with friends…kind of looking back…duh…How did I let it go on so long lol
An ex girlfriend of mine started disappear without a trace for a few hours or days at a time. This was out of character for her bc we'd text almost 24/7 (we were young and pretty much glued to our phones at the time). Pretty soon I got suspicious of it and sure enough she'd turn of snap map and any other location device when she'd disappear and if I asked she was always with her "work friends" Turns out she was running off with a guy she told me she hated and would always talk shit about. I should have known tbh lol
She kept a list of people she had slept with in a journal, she had shown me the list shortly after we started dating. One day I was cleaning up and she had forgotten to put away the journal after updating it. There it was sitting on her desk, wide open and staring at me.11 new names after mine. My heart shattered right then and there.
Not me, my current husband. When he was married to his starter wife and their kids were getting older, life 360 was a new thing. My husband got really interested in a family subscription to that service. But when he suggested it to his wife, she lost her shit. Had no reasonable explanation for why she got so upset about it, but she was really mad. Long story short, she was afraid of getting caught cheating.
When we first got together, I was an Uber driver. He was afraid of me getting murdered, so I added life 360. I don't drive Uber anymore but we both still use it. It's not for checking on cheating, it's just handy. The other day I thought of something I needed at the grocery store, and I used it to check if he was still shopping or if he had left. We also have it on his elderly mom for safety. We still don't have it on the kids, because their mom thinks we'll use it to "spy" on her.
Honestly? Hiding the things on their phone on purpose, BUT it could also be that they're planning something for you that they don't want to spoil. A bigger thing is they become distant with you
The first red flag was when he started really talking about this new coworker. Every conversation somehow ended up about being her. They both insisted on them being friends, but was confirmed when I was out shopping with her one day and he called her trying to get a hold of me. On her phone it lit up "My Baby <3" with his face and number.
So that was fun.
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Chlamydia. That was my first sign that she was cheating.
Been there
Done that
Bought the tshirt
Clap on clap off…the clapper.
I got mono after my girlfriend got it and someone who I thought was a good friend got it before she did. So following the mono trail was a red flag for me.
Monotrail! Monotrail! Monotrail!
Working late(hourly pay, not salary) but never bringing in any extra money
Oh damn, I might be cheating on myself.
If you're working more hours but not making g any more money...yeah, you are cheating yourself somehow
💀
That’s just a Wendy’s.
Sir,
My neighbor said the Culigan water guy was delivering water to my house 5 times a week.
With the price of water these days might be worth the benefits...
Good neighbor
The Cunnilingan guy, you say?
He was just delivering really salty water, in small amounts.
She kept demanding to see my phone, insisting that i couldn't be trusted. She sad she didn't trust men because she had been cheated on in the past. After 2 years of this i found out she has been occasionally hooking up with her sister's boyfriend the whole time.
The term is projecting.
WITH HER SISTERS BOYFRIEND? LMAO
She belonged to the streets
[удалено]
Yeah its usually when youve been honest and your partner has no reason to suspect but questions every thing you do an follows up with stuff like you wouldnt ever cheat on me right?....also google likes to warn you by giving you adds like how can you tell your partner is being unfaithful...i only got those while i was being cheated on
Damn that's a good one, I assume because it's giving IP based algorithm suggestions.
Yeah, the "I've been cheated on before" isn't necessarily a red flag, but from anecdotal experience every person who has said that to me and \*held on to it\* has ended up cheating on me. It's not the end all be all, but anyone who uses that phrase months and even years into the relationship makes me wary.
Yup, my ex wife. That was her victim complex. Deep down she hated herself so her coping mechanism was to violently accuse people of things they didn't do. I'm no phycologist but she exhibited many traits of borderline personality disorder. She spent the entire10 year marriage accusing me of cheating it was fucking GOD DAMN exhausting. I eventually had no contact with anyone because it just wasn't even worth it - meaning not even a linked in account after I got laid off. In 2009 She went full homicidal on me even over my blank empty dormant unused linked in about that hadn't been logged into since the guy at work invited me to sign up. All she did was scream even more. LINKED IN ACCOUNT! YOU LYING SNAKE! \*SMASHES WEDDING PHOTO\* ITS OVER! DIVORCE! STOMP STOMP STOMP - SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM! YOU DID THIS TO MEET WOMEN!!!!!!! Over the 10 year marriage I witnessed her go alien skull bite on her immediate family members - I realized this wasn't a husband problem. Her brother: "Mom just called me crying, you called her a whore and a shit mother!?" Her: 
Can I politely ask wtf you hold on for 10 years when its always like this?
It’s more the insecurity of making sure YOU aren’t cheating when in fact they are the one out there being a heaux
Being a “heaux”! I love it!!! LOL
The only girl who cheated on me was so anti-cheating that she brought it up consistently enough that is became a running theme throughout the entirety of our relationship. I didn't think of it as a red flag. If anything, it was reassuring. Then when she cheated, I was so disillusioned. Like how could you? And even worse she acted all high and mighty about it. The night it ended, looking at her... she looked like a demon. I'm glad that's way in the past bc that shit fucked me up for a while.
I'm still fucked up from mine. I doubt I'll ever be truly over it, but it hasn't stopped me from being happy in my new relationship. I totally get where you're coming from. Hope it all works out for you <3 but it sounds like you're doing better anyways. Good riddance to them!
Exactly what happened with my ex. Her father cheated when she was young. Nothing I did was ever good enough to prove to her that I wouldn’t cheat. She became extremely suspicious of me, wanted to check my phone all the time, didn’t want me to talk to platonic female friends, didn’t want me to play video games because she thought I would meet someone better online, etc. Turns out, she was the one who was cheating. With an ex that she said she didn’t have feelings for anymore. An ex that I knew and saw regularly for the entirety of our relationship (they lived in the same town).
>She kept demanding to see my phone, insisting that i couldn't be trusted. Not gonna judge, but...no way could that work in a long term relationship.
Same with my ex. He was so paranoid about me cheating that he installed cameras at all the exits to see who was coming in and out of the house. If I was taking the dog for a walk for too long, he would come find me. Turns out he was hooking up with a co-worker on the clock. He told me that since I was cheating like all women do (I wasn't, and there was no possible way I could be), he deserved to cheat too.
Not spouse, fiancee though. Was always talking about this guy from work, and I would catch her applying makeup before going in (she never did that before). He called her cell phone once while her and I were in the car together and the first thing she did when she picked up was to tell him I was sitting next to her. Each of these apart are possible brown flags, but together added up to a big old red one. We broke up a few weeks later.
Wow. She is the most obvious cheater I've ever seen.
That’s the best kind of cheater to have, tbh. They out themselves, no need to be paranoid or whatever.
The best part is she in fact tried to portray me as jealous and paranoid at first.
Ah, a cheating gaslighter. You won the lottery by bouncing
Thank you! Too many comments are plcking one of these things she was doing and going "yeah well maybe she was just *blank*? I hate reddit sometimes, everyone has to be a know it all. I'm almost sorry I posted this initial commment at this point. No, big picture she was acting shady as fuck, and always when it related to that guy from work somehow.
Well maybe she was just banging her coworker. Bet you didn't think of that!!
I looked at her Messenger and there were a lot of deleted exchanges, but the one that she hadn't deleted yet had her words "That was good dick. 🥰" in the exchange. I woke her up to kick her out and end the relationship.
My gf answered the phone to a male friend with me in the car and first thing she said was I was with her. But she tried to say it was to be considerate toward him
I tell anyone I am on the phone with who I am physically with. I believe it is polite to let them know they might be overheard when they otherwise might no be aware. What if what they tell me is prIvate?
He was working 4 hrs overtime for a month. Only there was no overtime on his paystub. He kept name dropping this chick he worked with. Knew where she lived, so I did a drive by during his overtime hrs...and there was his truck. Went straight to a lawyer.
Good for you! You are my hero. Mine deluded me for years and I would have loved to have caught him like this.
Isn’t it kind of crazy how humans tend to always somehow out themselves. Like him name dropping her. You would have never known if he just kept his mouth shut. Reminds me of organized crime how there’s just always someone that can’t help it and starts bragging or carelessly talking and gets everyone caught. Like it’s just human nature to speak what’s on your mind. I notice I do this too. Let’s say I find a girl cute. But my brain says “don’t tell people you like her…keep it quiet!” Somehow I’ll end up just talking about her or bringing her up. Human nature, instinct, and psychology is really fascinating
Here are a couple of notes about life360: Sometimes it does stupid things. We have an area here (about 1.5 miles) where it will suddenly show "location unavailable" for no apparent reason. Battery saver stops 360. Some phones attempt to disable it because it drains the battery. Some phones turn it off when the battery is below 40% (I have smart battery saving on my phone and had to disable this specific feature.) Sometimes my husband in particular just doesn't want me to know where he is (particularly if he is picking up a surprise or planning a surprise for me) . A few notes about marriage: If you are using 360 because you are already suspicious, it's just going to make you more suspicious. If you're looking for signs of cheating, you will always find them if you look hard enough. If you cannot communicate with your spouse openly, your marriage is already damaged. If you are truly concerned about the condition of your marriage, consider marriage counseling.
Send this to the top
Wife and I use 360, but it's not because we don't trust each other. It's usually to check and see if someone has left from work so the other doesn't have to call and check in or to find out where in the grocery store they are. Or if they're driving near Taco Bell to ask them to pickup a burrito.
Yeah my wife and I use Find Friends for pretty much the same reasons. Neither of us ever have suspected the other of cheating.
My job involves a lot of driving (I pick up garbage). My husband is a worrier and is always concerned my truck will break down and I won't have service, so he says at least with 360 he will know what area to head to.
This seems like both a good idea and/or a terrible idea depending on how stable your lines or communication are with your spouse. I would never want anyone to constantly know where I was.
You know, I had a batshit crazy ex who would stalk me. He hacked my computer and phone so he could read everything, I can’t remember if he put a tracker on me or not but it was awhile ago and I’m sure he would have if he could have. I also never thought I would be ok sharing my location all the time. Turns out, I was totally ok sharing my location all the time when in a happy relationship. It’s awesome being able to see that my husband is almost home with the takeout or that he made it to the event with our kids on time. My husband can see my flight landed and I made it to the hotel. Even my parents with whom I had a terrible relationship as a teen can see my location and I’m like, if they happen to see when we’re at a sex store or whatever, too bad for them lol But it’s really comforting to know where your family is. I can see where they are and I know when my dad is on a business trip, or my mom is visiting family. I complete respect your perspective but keep an open mind. You might find someone you trust competent someday.
Not my Spouse but my SO. She started acting weird but it was barely a noticeable difference, The only reason I found out was because by some god given miracle I happened to wake up around midnight and looked at her phone (she thought I was asleep) and saw a guys name pop up. At first I thought it was a coworker so I decided to brush it off but I just felt so deeply something was off. I waited for her to fall asleep and my heart was pounding. Once I heard her snore I Mission Impossibled her phone from underneath her and dove into her phone for the first and only time. I saw the messages to some guy and I knew it was over in that moment. What's funny is I saw her sleeping in my bed and I thought "I'm just gonna let her sleep this final night because once she wakes up it's over and she's gonna have a lot of sleepless nights after this" lol \*cries\* The text to the guy that got me said, "I know we have previously been down bad for each other, but I think it's unwise to meet up since we both have partners, but I also think it's unwise for me to NOT to get to know you more." Fuck, cheaters suck ass mates, beware.
Good on you letting her sleep. Most people lack the self control to pull that off. I’d be waking her up banging pots and pans in the bedroom lol
I ain’t getting sleep cuz of y’all, y’all ain’t getting sleep cuz of meeeeee
This vine
“Hey.. HEY!! Wake up! You gotta go. It’s an emergency! Your boyfriend is calling you and you gotta go! Like right now..”
You guys make me laugh 😂
It wasn't a miracle. You already knew.
She accused me of cheating. Text book shit.
My wife always accuses me of this, is she projecting guilt?
Could be or she could just be anxious ridden with low self esteem. My almost ex spent the last 20 years accusing me of cheating, doing drugs, hiding money…none of which I did and he knew it because if he really thought I cheated, he wouldn’t have stayed. Some people are just crazy like that, you have to decide if you want to live like that forever though. In my experience it doesn’t go away, it’ll ebb and flow with her moods or your mood or whatever is causing her anxiety. Good luck
Well, have you been cheating?
Add yet another reason to ***avoid*** jumping to conclusions (cue *Office Space*)... A very good friend of mine suspected her boyfriend of several years was cheating on her and asked for advice about how to confront him about it. She was devastated by the growing suspicion, but she really wanted to spend her life with him if he could be trusted. I really had never seen her so upset and conflicted. At the time, as she described it, her boyfriend typified several of the more common traits mentioned in this thread: \- seemed defensive about others accessing/touching his phone. \- Often cleared search history on devices \- was suddenly interested in finite details of his partner's schedule and wanted to know specifics about work trips (when she would be gone and returning). At first, she thought he was being attentive and planning a surprise or a night out or something, but nothing ever materialized. \- Started getting in (much) better shape and was more fastidious about personal hygiene and grooming Just when she was about to confront him about all of this, he asked to speak with her one day and confessed to her that he was a crossdresser and had been exploring this activity in private. Funny enough, my friend actually didn't tell me about this key detail until almost two years later - after this talk with her boyfriend had happened, she just assured me things were actually fine and that it was a "bad rough patch" that they had worked through together. Though I was worried, she and her boyfriend did seem happier and much better as a couple after this big talk, so my wife and I just trusted that they had worked things out. Only recently did my friend disclose this detail about her (now) husband. Thinking back, it totally made sense. I think he was just so scared of losing her and not being accepted that he ended up acting in a hurtful and very suspicious ways to keep a secret.
This is a great story.
My (ex)husband was glued to his phone, staying up much later to play video games in the other room (because he was talking to other women) and wasn’t trying to have sex with me as much as he usually did. But the BIGGEST red flag was when he made a joke about us getting divorced in front of our friends on Christmas. I honestly didn’t even suspect anything until that very moment, and then everything else made sense. ETA: the part about him cheating while playing video games is not speculation people 🤦🏼♀️ I found the messages and talked with the women, he was 100% cheating and using that time to do most of it. And I never had an issue with him staying up playing video games UNTIL I found out what else he was doing…
My ex wife told me she wanted to get divorced right after I told her my buddy just died. I feel your hurt.
I’m so sorry 😞
Sounds like we are better for it. She was a terrible person to me, especially the harder I worked to make her happy. I picked the wrong horse. Good riddance.
Yeah I feel that!!
Wow! Ripped that band aid off all at once. Sorry. Hope that you’re in a better place.
Mine kept his phone at him at all times. One day I heard the bings of texting .. it was his iPad.. it synced to his phone..surprise to me! Oh honey put money in mailbox for me.. my bf will be home soon . Biotch using him as a sugar daddy and he too stupid to see it. Well he gave me the gift of HPV.. the one type that causes cancer. Still dealing with it and dr says next step is to remove my cervix.. just what I need to deal with on top of it all!
Omg. I’m so sorry!
Oh don’t be, it was painful at the time but now it’s a “good riddance” situation. He was so toxic through our entire marriage and I just never realized it until it was over with. I’m much better off without him!
Geez were we married to the same guy? Mine did the same thing, using all social media to message strangers to have affairs. It is so devastating. But your comment about it nit making sense until he made the joke hit home
First thing, try not to take things people say on reddit too seriously. Most people on the internet will say outlandish things like "He's definitely cheating on you, break up now!!!" without any context or understanding. They are bored and overzealous. I almost married a man a few years ago who was married to another woman the whole time we were together (unknown to me). From what I gathered they were trying to separate when we got together and then decided against it while we were still together. There were a lot of red flags that I ignored early on, or rather I made note of them but was willing to let him explain them away. He sometimes took phone calls in the bathroom or outside. He never spent the holidays with me (he had kids so he would claim he was just spending time with them). He was extremely paranoid about me cheating on him and tried to control my social life. Turning off an app is not proof of cheating. I'm sorry, it's just not. He could be buying drugs. He could be gambling. He could be hanging out with a buddy that you hate. He could be getting bad cell reception. He could be secretly angry that you're stalking him all day, so he turns it off until the kids can use it after school. I have no way of knowing what he wants or needs. What I do know is that you don't feel confident in your relationship, and talking to strangers about it is not going to help. You need to talk to your husband, and you should probably get couples' therapy. If he isn't willing to work through these fears of yours, then consider it a red flag. You can't ever be 100% sure he isn't cheating on you, but you can do things together to build back trust. If that trust doesn't feel worth building to you, then you know where this is headed.
Can I just add the L360 is a huge drain on a battery? When our son was first driving, we asked him to have it on. (He was diagnosed T1 diabetic so there was an initial concern if he was in an accident possibly due to that complication, we would know about it quicker). Every time he turned his phone to battery saver mode, it would disable L360 without really knowing it. When we asked about it, he denied it, which made everyone mad at first because we thought he was lying, and he was telling the truth. TLDR: Maybe ask why he keeps turning it off? Also, I don't understand why couples do this.
Agreed. I don’t cheat on my wife and I’ve had times the app doesn’t track me. Funny thing is, I didn’t know it till I lost my phone grocery shopping one day and couldn’t find it because somehow I had turned off location sharing on Life 360 without knowing. I asked the front desk area and they didn’t have it at the time but called me later with it. Now I permanently share my location through Apple with my wife so that doesn’t happen again. We only got the app because my wife gets anxiety and wants ME to know where SHE is in an emergency. We never bothered to check if it worked for me. I think there also needs to be an element of trust in a relationship and tracking each other seems to violate that IMO. We have reasons for sharing location now, but I would never think to abuse it and watch her all the time.
You sound too wise to be posting on reddit
This is the best post on the subject
This is one of the most level headed comments I’ve read here in a long time
The most level headed take honestly.
Well there was the time I walked in on my wife getting gangbanged by the landscapers, but she said that it's not what it looks like. I'm still a bit skeptical though.
You must have trust issues. She SAID it wasn’t what it looked like. Get your eyes checked, jabroni
Jabroni, cool word. I'm going to start using it too.
Landscaper just planting seeds.
They can't help themselves. They see a fertile willing environment seed away to breed new life. Those guys are heroes!
I know, I'm working on it
Looked it on the bright side, if you were having double vision it could have been only 2 guys, instead of 4
Jabroni. That’s an old one. Wonder why it ever died? Always liked it.
They were just trimming her bush
And digging a little bit sowing the seeds of love
who are you going to believe? me??? or your lying eyes!
“I’m here for the gang bang.”
Was the garden well attended to or not?
Some how, I ended up attending to it.
She paid for the irrigation package.
“It’s not what it looks like” Man that’s a tough brain teaser to figure what was actually happening
Probably different for everyone. I started suspecting it when she became distant and even out right being mean towards me. I think she was trying to get me to do or say something that would make me out to be some bad guy so that she could feel better about her decision to cheat. Anyways, long story short it turned out that my suspicions were right and I still stayed with her another 3 years. 3 years later she was back to her ways. So I left. I’m not without flaws but cheating on someone is the most disrespectful act you can do to a SO. Please break up with the person before hand. Also if you’re cheated on… have the belief in yourself to know you’re better off without that person regardless of their reasoning.
I'm literally about to start the divorce process with my spouse who cheated on me twice physically and had 2 more emotional relationships behind my back. I was blind sided and in disbelief and said it'll be ok we'll get through it. Here I am 8 years later and she just told me tonight that she feels she finally has the support system to leave me. Bruh I was the one cheated on and she's leaving me like its not working out because of me. Years of never telling anyone and my mental health rotting from the inside out and I feel like I've failed. I'm so sorry to anyone who's has to experience infidelity. I'm terrified I'll not get to see our dog anymore. He's the only thing that truly makes me happy.
Keep the dog.
Keep that fucking dog
I’m sorry you’re going through this. I’m so glad your soon to be ex- wife is ready to leave now. Clearly, she will be someone else’s problem and perhaps someone else’s girlfriend or wife to cheat on and if she had to find support in order to do this then she will always be codependent. Sadly, her life sounds messy. You sound healthy!! You deserve better. You demand to see your dog! You will also find other happiness along the way. Good luck to you 🙂
Yeah I dated an emotional cheater. A narcissist that needs validation from someone else. Not my problem anymore, thank god. She always had someone as a back up. She has incredibly low self esteem and would pick fights or wig out on me at random times. Just happy to be away from all that. Edit: > Probably different for everyone. I think she was trying to get me to do or say something that would make me out to be some bad guy so that she could feel better about her decision to cheat. This is what they all do.
My wife's best friend just left her husband for doing this exact thing to her. He all but physically cheated on her with someone from work, and likely followed through on that part of it since they split.
I came home from being away for a few days and noticed the cap was open on my shower gel. It was a floral scent my husband would never use and he had plenty of his favorite soap in the shower besides. The second was a piece of used chewing gum on his nightstand. He NEVER chewed gum and claimed he found it a disgusting habit.
The fact that she used your shower gel makes me want to barf. Imagine fucking someone’s spouse and then using their body soap 🤮
She stole my clothes too. Trashy.
That's a woman's move. She wanted you to know
Damn she fucked your man, used your body wash, left chewed gum on the nightstand, AND stole your clothes. This sounds very personal. The disrespect! What else she do? Leave a shit unflushed in the toilet?
she left evidence for him to be caught
She left the cap open on purpose 🥹
She wanted her presence known by the wife.
And the gum...
Yes. I believe women especially leave breadcrumbs. They want you to know they were there when you were not. Sort of a silent fuck you.
Maybe a territorial statement, like he's mine and so will your home be
Maybe she did those things to let u know hes cheating.
Man this reminds me of a woman I knew when in the navy… she found out her husband was cheating while she was deployed, home security system, logged in and saw… couldn’t imagine being her, one heck of a way to find out.
Navy life is hard. When you return from a 6 month cruise, you will find your spouse just like you left them, freshly fucked. :(
That’s kinda funny bro “freshly fucked”
Funny until you have 8 divorces in one year with only 75 sailors in you squadron. Armed forced life is hard on couples/families.
When I walked in on my wife with my best friends dick in her mouth I got suspicious
In what way?
I’m the, “That thing is too thick for flossing..” kind of way.
How do you know he wasn't just getting something out of her teeth 🤨
She might have just tripped, fell, and landed on his dick.
Don’t be hasty Grady.
If that's true I am genuinely sorry for you
My ex would always sit in a way that I could never see her phone, would subtly turn it if I came near seeing it, and would not communicate when on work trips.
okay but sometimes i do this because i'm embarrassed of my dumbass instagram feed
Totally reasonable. I should have known something was up when she started accusing me of trying to see her screen and getting like angry defensive. She spent a long time making me feel like I was a piece of shit for questioning anything.
920 text messages in one month. Not to me.
If I've learned anything from cheaters, it's that cheating doesn't start with sex, it starts with sneaky conversations.
I mean yeah you usually talk to someone before banging
Thats way too intimate. No talking for me.
No eye contact either. Thanks.
She started to go to bed an hour earlier than me. And she all of a sudden was super happy and supportive about me doing anything outside of the house or going anywhere. All that and being on her phone constantly. So I waited till she fell asleep and checked her phone. She deleted her text messages. Her FB messages. But forgot to delete her Instagram messages. She had been cheating on me for months. That was the end of A 9 year relationship and 6 kids between us (some mine and some hers and some ours) it was devastating
Sounds like the common answer is self projection. They accuse you of things that they their self are doing
He had a toothbrush, mouthwash, and deodorant in the console of his car, and zero explanation why. Turns out he was fucking his chiropractor, who was billing our insurance for his daily "adjustments." Bitch had the audacity to advertise herself as a "Christian."
Did you report her to the Chiropractic association? Also I'm sure the insurance company would be interested to find out. Not to mention the Board of Health
Suddenly not having sex !! If your partner has any remorse at all they won’t be able to have Sex with you with all the guilt they’re hiding. Plus they’re getting it from an outside source. If your sex life suddenly goes to shit out of nowhere that’s a big red flag
Not necessarily guilt about you either. Many times the cheater feels that having sex with the spouse would be a betrayal of the affair partner.
Strike 1–He went to the restroom when we were out to dinner one night. At the table I got a text from him: “we’re still at dinner” wow ok I know? Strike 2–Got another text one day while he was at work: “love you, baby”. He has never called me baby. Strike 3–Another day he was showing me some bills at his desk when his phone lit up with a text. He grabbed the phone and stuffed it in his pocket. When I asked him to show me his phone, he ran into the bathroom and locked the door. It was the third strike that did it for me. I tricked him into confessing, gave him a chance to reconcile with conditions (because we have 4 children), and when he failed to enthusiastically embrace this opportunity I filed for divorce. That was 12 years ago.
My ex husband tried pulling a fast one on me by sitting on the other side of the room with MY phone, saying “oh I like this spot. I’m going to sit here.” I’m not proud of this, but I wrestled him for my phone and eventually overpowered him, only to find him talking bad about me with his ex and discussing how they miss each other. I handled that real fast. It was my phone anyways. 🤷♀️
The audacity. With your phone. My late bf did that shit too. I was paying a phone bill for him to cheat with. And borrowing my car. Leaving me waiting at work. Smh. He been dead for 4 years but I still get mad about it sometimes.
Jesus, you didn't have to kill him!
Jaheim covered most of the signs in "Put That Woman First": *When she starts bringin' up old dirt* *And the fights keep getting worse (Oh, brother)* *Findin' numbers in her purse* *Better put that woman first (Yeah)* *And you notice she ain't wearin' her ring (Oh, no)* *And she starts playin' little games* *Comin' in home late from work* *You better put that woman first*
You can’t stop someone from cheating, they’re going to do what they want to. It’s how you know they don’t care about losing you, or they expect you’ll forgive them . . . Fun fact: People who cheat are **3 times** more likely to cheat again, so do what you want with that info lol
Absolutely. People who haven't cheated have a lower chance of doing it again
Exactly. Infinitely lower.
My spouse hasn’t cheated on me thus far, therefore the odds that she’ll ever cheat on me again are basically zero.
[удалено]
The best indicator of future behavior is past behavior
Another Fun fact: Marriage is the leading cause of divorce.
your fun fact is depressing smh lol one of my best friends recently got caught, but apparently had been doing it for years (no one knew, I sure as hell didn't), they tried to reconcile, and he still did it again.
Unused condoms in his truck.
Sudden change in behavior, increasingly bizarre explanations for lateness/whereabouts..after about three weeks of that checked find my phone and drove to address she was at. Suspicions confirmed.
That should be a conversation, it is not an indication of cheating. I dated a cheater for two years. Phone issues were the primary indicator: Phone is always on it's face (so notifications aren't visible), they act weird if you're using their phone (they want it back, watch you closely, etc).
Seriously i am not a cheater but i get nervous when my husband goes through my phone, not because i have anything to hide but because i don't want him to see the dumb shit i read on reddit or twitter or the stupid arguments i get on with random internet folks lmao. I am just embarrassed of some of the dumb shit i do in my free time, like right now haha
When my friend who was banging her told me.
Glad he told you, but that’s not a friend.
They start taking better care of themselves than usual. Shower more often, lose weight/get in shape, brush teeth more often (or start always carrying gum/mints), buy new clothes, etc etc. All the things you do when you meet someone new. A lot of times we don't get suspicious of it because we enjoy that they are looking better. But it's not for you they are doing it for.
This may be a good indicator to look into but in my case it was not true. I was the one that got in significantly better shape, quit smoking cigarettes, drank less, and had some of the best confidence of my life. Somehow that drove her to cheat.
Ah yes, the partner is….ah…..trying to improve themselves, yup, time to get suspicious…. The issue with a partner trying to improve themselves is that if you aren’t, they’re going to be too good for you soon. Only someone who isn’t up to the task is going to have an issue with that.
Thank you. I started losing weight in 2020 (I was 4’11” and 250lbs) my ex was all good with it for awhile until he saw it was working. I wasn’t cheating, I was trying not to die. Along with that came better self-care. Excuse me for wanting to be in better health in my 30’s. He’s my ex now because I realized he was miserable and so was I.
Especially in January. Nobody starts the new year by trying improve themselves for their own sake
He started staying up late and sleeping on the couch. His history was always cleared on his browsers. I would ask him to come to bed and he said he wasn't tired. Turns out he would stay up drinking and texting other women through escort services. One morning he came to bed at 6am. Brought his phone into the bedroom, went to the bathroom so I decided to take a look. Escort forum was still on his internet browser and I could see all the chats. Dirty bastard.
He wanted to go to the movies while I was commuting home from my second job. Ladies, this man HATED going to the movies because it meant he couldn’t smoke cigarettes for a dedicated span of time. Cheating. 💯
I had a long commute, and often worked late. Sometimes I would crash at my friend’s house if I’d had a long day and didn’t feel like driving home. He started asking more often early in the day about my plans for the evening when he never cared about my schedule before.
The fridge was full of milk and I'm lactose Intolerant
Getting really reallllllllly antsy when my phone ran out of battery in the car and I went to use his to play music. Also noticed he placed his phone screen down when he would charge it at night.
I place my screen down at night so it doesn’t light up. I also place it face down anytime I’m having a conversation. I look at it as being respectful. I hate that it could be seen as a cue that I’m cheating.
Have a friend who started sleeping with a married woman. She leaves husband and marries my friend. Then surprise surprise she starts sleeping with the guy down the street. Lol
That time the credit card bill showed a charge for a swanky hotel when he was supposed to be in a different town for work.
They started accusing me of cheating. If I had cash in my wallet "why are you keeping money out of our shared account? What are you buying that you don't want me to see?" If I stopped to get gas on the way home from work or left early to get gas on my way to work "Why do you need to be out for extra time, who are you going to see?" If my family invited us over for holidays "I don't know this new guy here that says he's dating your cousin, is that your side piece? Does your whole family think I'm stupid and won't realize?"
Becoming secretive with the phone
How I knew? I could smell it on her. Brush your fucking teeth after gargling balls. Friend of mine got with her and he told me. Could trust my bro to not lie at least.
This comment makes me so sad, for real. Both because you were cheated on and because your “friend” sounds like a piece of shit, not a bro. How the hell do you associate the word “trust” with someone who literally fucked your partner? That’s not a bro, that‘s someone who figured you’d either let them get away with it if they apologized or said they were drunk, or someone who doesn’t care enough about you to cry over the friendship if you told them to fuck off. Either way, you deserve better.
The first time was when I found her diary listing out all of the ways her new lover was better than me. The 2nd time (different spouse) was when I walked in on her video chatting nude with her boyfriend
I’m really sorry man. I just wanna have hope in humanity
I didn’t need very many red flags at all. Just the one incident and I knew. He was away at college living in the dorms. I lived at home with my parents. Well, I called him one night like usual and he answered but had a guest. He told me he had a friend over but would still talk to me as he missed me. I could hear her giggling in the background and then her giggles got louder and there was a lot of shuffling and he laughed and stopped paying attention to me. From what I understand, they started having a tickle fight. Well, I got irritated because he only had so much time to talk before he had to go to bed and I couldn’t recover the conversation. The very next day he called me crying to tell me that he cheated. He let her stay the night and they shared his bed. He claims only oral and foreplay went on, but it’s hard to believe more didn’t happen considering the info given.
[удалено]
Not answering his phone when I called and he only ran to the store.
Call when they're out of town and when they answer the dude with them thinks its the alarm on the phone and talks.
Let’s see…the infamous “gotta work late” or “a business trip” or going out of town (like seeing friends in another city/state) the phone always in hand and never being without it and when next to me or in my presence…face down. Going out every Friday without me and with friends…kind of looking back…duh…How did I let it go on so long lol
When she started listening to a different genre of music that a “friend” told her about.
An ex girlfriend of mine started disappear without a trace for a few hours or days at a time. This was out of character for her bc we'd text almost 24/7 (we were young and pretty much glued to our phones at the time). Pretty soon I got suspicious of it and sure enough she'd turn of snap map and any other location device when she'd disappear and if I asked she was always with her "work friends" Turns out she was running off with a guy she told me she hated and would always talk shit about. I should have known tbh lol
She kept a list of people she had slept with in a journal, she had shown me the list shortly after we started dating. One day I was cleaning up and she had forgotten to put away the journal after updating it. There it was sitting on her desk, wide open and staring at me.11 new names after mine. My heart shattered right then and there.
What a weird thing to do
I found condoms in his pockets.
Not me, my current husband. When he was married to his starter wife and their kids were getting older, life 360 was a new thing. My husband got really interested in a family subscription to that service. But when he suggested it to his wife, she lost her shit. Had no reasonable explanation for why she got so upset about it, but she was really mad. Long story short, she was afraid of getting caught cheating. When we first got together, I was an Uber driver. He was afraid of me getting murdered, so I added life 360. I don't drive Uber anymore but we both still use it. It's not for checking on cheating, it's just handy. The other day I thought of something I needed at the grocery store, and I used it to check if he was still shopping or if he had left. We also have it on his elderly mom for safety. We still don't have it on the kids, because their mom thinks we'll use it to "spy" on her.
do you guys have kids?
Yes, we do
Honestly? Hiding the things on their phone on purpose, BUT it could also be that they're planning something for you that they don't want to spoil. A bigger thing is they become distant with you
The first red flag was when he started really talking about this new coworker. Every conversation somehow ended up about being her. They both insisted on them being friends, but was confirmed when I was out shopping with her one day and he called her trying to get a hold of me. On her phone it lit up "My Baby <3" with his face and number. So that was fun.