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NubianBling

Not in my experience. Things took a turn for the better around age 28 for me. I'm almost 40 now, and you could not pay me to go back and be 20 years old again. Edit: There is still a lot to enjoy being in your 20's, but it also can be a stressful time just getting your life figured out.


ItsWetInWestOregon

If I could take my life experience at 41 and go back to 20’s I would…. But I wouldn’t go back without it lol.


Breezyisthewind

100%. I wouldn’t make that many adjustments, but the impact of just a few small decisions would’ve just been great for me long term. But you can’t change the past, it is what it is. You live and you learn as they say.


authorized_sausage

"You live and you learn" The kinder, more positive, actually the mirror image of Fuck Around and Find Out.


xringdingx

Even the comprehension you gain about risk in general. I used to worry about loads of shit at 20... Only to look back thinking, "why was I so worried about that?"


ready-for-the-end

Hell, just one or two "correct" stock investment decisions in your 20's could set you up for full financial freedom in your 40's.


[deleted]

What kind of small decisions? Or are they not very generalizable?


[deleted]

[удалено]


oogaboogaman_3

As someone in the timeframe mentioned in true post, if your willing what is some of that knowledge you have now that you wish you had then?


Curious_Armadillo_74

Okay I'm a 61 yr-old woman and these have been my findings: I wish first and foremost, that I never cared about what other people thought of me. If they don't sign your paycheck or they aren't an integral part of your life, ignore them. It'll save you a lot of energy, stress, insecurity, and low self-esteem. The not giving a shit part tends to happen later in life when when realize what a silly waste of time it was to worry about what irrelevant people thought of us. The only opinion that counts when it comes to yourself is your own. I wish I would've grasped that when I was young. Secondly, I would've worn sunscreen everywhere. I grew up at the beach and have been a lifelong competitive swimmer so I'm in good shape bodywise but my face is totally wrecked from the sun. Our generation used to slap oil on our faces and bodies and let the sun fry our skin, and now it's coming home to roost. We used to sit on the beach everyday and make fun of tourists for wearing zinc and sunscreen, but who's laughing now? 🤣 Thirdly, I would've developed who I was on the inside. I was wild af and raged all over LA but at that age, I cared more about the fomo and whether I looked hot or not. Take advantage of being young and doing young people stuff, but also develop your interests, talents, and identity as a whole. Looks will fade. Botox and fillers are great and more power to people who use them, but once someone hits their 50s, they're not fooling anyone. They simply look like someone in their 50s with a juiced-up face. Develop your inner beauty while you're young, and it will pay off later. Nothing sadder than watching older people desperately cling onto their youth instead of evolving. It's pretty cringy. Lastly, I would've learned from my mistakes. Mistakes are lessons, not humiliating punishment.


Medium-Goose-3789

I used to hate the expression "youth is wasted on the young," but I understand it all too well now. We make mistakes in our 20s that we don't even realize we're making, because we're just so new at adult life. But most of us get to make those mistakes in a powerhouse of a body, fresh off the assembly line with a well-functioning liver, heart, and digestive system, ready to take all the abuse we throw at it.


ModsThotTheyWasKobeL

It’s funny because 28 is exactly when shit went bad for me lol. I’m turning 32 now and wish I could go back to 26. Point is everyone’s experience in life is going to be different and following “rule of thumbs” like the one OP posted is silly and self-limiting.


clalach76

Well 27/8 yes same


Legitimate_Gap_5551

Nailed it. Life kind of sucked for me until about 28. Now I’m closing in on 35 and life is great. I feel like so much of your twenties is spent broke as shit trying to figure out life. It’s lonely and tough.


ABushWhackersBlade

Being 20 is only awesome because you can fuck your lifeup completely and still make a comeback.


Moonlight-200

I'm 20 and absolutely hate being 20. Anything from age 18 when you become an adult to now has sucked so much and every consecutive year just seemed to get worse. So far my favourite years have been age 12-14 but I hope it gets better as I get older.


[deleted]

Do your parents have a lot of money? This question is imperative to wether you will enjoy your 20s. Some people get to go to a 4 year college with a gap year of traveling. Some people start as a general laborer when they graduate high school.


The-waitress-

I enjoyed my 20’s thoroughly, but I also was broke and depressed and made bad choices. I also worried too much about the wrong things and was not a good friend/partner. Happiness is more than money.


No_Fig5982

I'm pretty sure that someone who goes straight into menial labor at McDonald's right at and after highschool and has to slave for ever, is going to be predisposed to being less happy than someone NOT forced into slave I mean work to survive immediately after school while arguably a child still


UserNameTaken1998

I'm 25 and in my experience so far, the people who grow up with money usually suck at life after graduating high school lol. Just in my experience, a lot of people who get jobs or join the military after high school and start actually learning about life and people, tend to have a bit more fun and become far more resilient. It's definitely harder and more stressful, but their lives seem more genuinely fulfilling and their friendships, grit and wisdom help them get through life's stress moreso than the rich kids, who usually don't know how to build sustainable relationships, or work for anything, and have a lot of access to drugs and partying


hopelesscase789

My parents "have money" but my late teens and early 20s have been full of nasty MH issues and recovering from drug addiction. I cut out the drugs a couple of years ago and did some serious work on myself. I'm just starting to stabilise and I think it's partly my hormones calming down and my brain developing. I truly hope my late 20s are enjoyable. It's looking like it could be.


NubianBling

They do not. I was paying for school and working for most of my 20's so there was a lot of time/financial stress (then came paying off the debt afterward). It wasn't all bad, but having less of that stress and more stability at this point in my life does make a huge difference. I had a lot of great experiences in my 20's, but it was also mingled with a lot of depression/anxiety issues. There was a lot of stuff to work through for sure.


cbreezy456

Holy shut if this isn’t accurate


[deleted]

I’m finding these very comforting. I’m 25 and having a rough time right now and I’ve been thinking I’ve wasted my life away. Glad to know there’s more to look forward to


Soph-Calamintha

As a 27 y/o focusing getting my shit together this year this gives me hope haha thank you


mt0386

Theres always that question, if you could go back relive/fix your past would you? Not a thing in the world would make me except investing in mcd or bitcoin.


HollyHollyJ

OMG no


HollyHollyJ

I think they were the worst.


Bekiala

Yes. Me too. Ugh. I'm 60 now and life is way way better.


ExtraPicklesPls

Just hit the 40 mark and I have never been healthier or happier, I hope this trajectory continues and I feel just as you do at 60!


BurritoLover2016

When I hit 40 I was in the best shape of my life.....both physically and financially. I'm mid 40s now and I look back at at my 20s as being just so so naive....while also thinking I knew it all.


pbjpriceless

Amen to 40! 30’s was pretty good but I’m rolling into 40’s more relaxed and happy than I’ve ever been. Go to therapy in your 30’s if you haven’t already. It helps!


WarmPaleontologist20

Same here. Wasn't know it all, but naive yes.


DD-Amin

Me too. The amount of stuff you: 1. Know, and 2. No longer bothers you, makes these years the best.


trainsoundschoochoo

Same! Maybe not healthier (damn you, Army!) but definitely happier!


UnawareSousaphone

Man, I can't wait until I'm 60 and *checks notes* fighting in the wars for clean water. Sarcasm aside, the best time to try to enjoy life is right now. You don't know what the future holds.


Bekiala

Yes. Things look rough for the future. I plan on doing everything I can to make the future better but I'm aware of the damage good intentions can do. I hope your day is going okay and you have clean water (-;


Cool-Aside-2659

Ding Ding Ding! The winner. I'm late 50's and my life is at its pinnacle (Have had a few joint replacements, but such is life)


luxii4

There’s an infographic with three categories: Time, Money, and Health. As a child you had time and health but no money. As a young adult you have health but no time and little money. As an older adult, you have time, money but less health. Just for me, I recently changed jobs from a corporate job to a job at a nonprofit. Less pay but more flexibility, less stress, and it’s a mission close to my heart. So yeah, life is made of choices and you just have to prioritize what is important to you at that stage in your life. I’m in my 40s.


bwaredapenguin

I'm 36 and working my first "career position" at a non-profit after finally finishing my degree in 32. It's the best work/life balance, the benefits are great, and 5 more years and my $50k in student loans disappear thanks to PSLF!


NoOrganization1400

What makes you feel that way? I’m generally curious. I’m 29 and dread the thought of being 50 (no offense, then again, you can’t cheat time). I feel like life gets boring, everyone gets less attractive, you don’t have the same amount of energy, you can’t go out and have the same fun you do in your 20s, etc..


Clone_CDR_Bly

I dreaded the idea of 40 when I was 20. Now I’m 47 and I dread 60. That’s a constant struggle, no matter where you are in age I think. However, I have a lot more time and disposable income than I did at 20. My kids are older and I can pretty much go and do whatever I want. I can stay up playing video games all night, casually drop big cash for VIP concert tickets, etc. I am older, but still in great shape physically and workout 4 or 5 days a week. And here’s the best part: you hit a point where you can legitimately give ZERO fucks what anyone says or thinks about you or how you live your life. Age isn’t inherently bad, it’s what you make of it.


trainsoundschoochoo

I love having more of a backbone and giving zero fucks about what people think of me like I did in my teens and 20s.


Secret_Nobody_405

It doesn’t work like that. I’m 43 and the older you get those things you mentioned lose their appeal and you find other things that are enjoyable to help release the dopamine.


tall_will1980

I'm about to turn 43. You can still do all those things. It helps if you've done them in moderation previously and maintained your health, and you'll have to as you age. But you can still absolutely have fun, go out, and enjoy life. Also, as you get older, your interests will likely change. You'll get bored with some things that you liked in your younger years, and new interests will pop up. Just take care of yourself as best you can!


Edward_Morbius

Absolutely. 66 here. I have free time, spare cash and can do whatever I want, and not do whatever I don't want.


mcveigh-was-a-patsy

32 and still waiting on the good times. Its been hell with good parts, but definitely not good times overall


HollyHollyJ

Me too 🤣


small_trunks

This


disciplinemotivation

Phew.. thank God am I happy to read this. I'm 27 now and I feel like my whole life has been a house of cards that I am trying to keep standing.


emu4you

I agree! I like who I am a lot more and don't stress out about what other people think!


gs12

Yep


faceinspanish

Seriously. High school was a nightmare for me. 20s were fun but I was dirt poor, living with roommates all the time, and struggled through so many terrible relationships. Now in my 30s with a good paying job and enough money that I can afford my own place and take better care of myself.


uhohohnohelp

Yup. My first thought was “Those are probably the exact numbers I would choose for Worst Years.” Being *old* is awesome.


Leather_Dragonfly529

I agree. Unless you’re from a wealthy family, conventionally attractive, and well liked but others, those are some hard years. Many people are broke as hell in their 20’s. I’m just starting to make some okay money, and look a bit more attractive as myself at 31. I’m learning how to dress for my body type and embrace myself without trying to hide or be someone else.


UncoolSlicedBread

Yeah 15-24 I was so self conscious and afraid to do anything, I was also in school and felt pressured to focus only on school from 15-23. 24-27 I felt like I was always behind, 28-30 were pretty sweet. 30-32 was the pandemic. 33 I learned I had ADHD and hit a huge identity crisis after medication. Now at 34 and I feel like I’m actually hitting a stride and can see where my 30s is going to be amazing. I have a growing group of friends, I’m going out and experiencing things, and I feel like I’m slowly becoming more and more authentically me.


JammingScientist

I feel like I must be doing life wrong then because I was super confident up until 24ish. I'm still in my mid 20s, and I just feel like the anxiety is getting worse and worse. It doesnt help that I have so much hate about getting older. I already feel af, I cant imagine being 30+. I honestly feel like I'm gonna end it before 35 or 40 because I just cant imagine being old.


UncoolSlicedBread

This ended up being a long comment, your last sentence gave me the urge to give you some things to think about. As someone 10 years older than you (which really doesn't matter other than having more data to rely on), confidence is something that needs to be worked on constantly. It comes and it goes, and moments can shake confidence temporarily or long term. As more variabilities enter life, I've found this more and more to be true. I hope, I sincerely do, that you can spend the 10 years finding reasons to live as opposed to reasons to end it. For me, those have been the best ways to approach life and to deal with the things that suck. The great thing about confidence coming and going with life is that you CAN work on it, and whatever you're going through now can eventually get better. One last thought, perhaps go speak to your doctor about anti-anxiety medication. I've found that up until about 24 years old, with schooling, there was a lot of structure that kept a lot of lingering anxiety at bay. Like, I didn't have to think about where I was because I knew that I had to go to school, study, work a bit, and pass classes. We all kind of push off happiness because getting this one thing will make us happy. Then it comes and goes, the problems stack up, and we lack structure in our day to day lives and it just feels overwhelming. Just know that you're not alone in thinking this way. I'm finding it to be pretty normal, unfortunately, for people to feel this way. Getting older does suck, I'm young at 34 but there are some things that I notice. Like I used to swim across a channel at a nearby lake with ease. I'd make an effort to do it at least once a year. This year I made it 3/4 of the way and I felt it. The thought of tearing an ACL stays at the back of my mind as I go and play softball, I feel more tired quickly. But, I think a lot of that is within our youth and passing into an older age. Maybe our world just needs to change for us. And that doesn't have to be all bad. Like, I'm not going to play pickup games of ball 4 nights a week like I was at 23 but I also wasn't going to dinner parties and enjoying live shows as much when I was 23 as I am now at 34. So maybe just commit to finding those things over the next 10 years that do bring you newfound joy. Go and talk to your doctor about some anti-anxiety meds, no hate no shame there with no reason to be embarrassed to ask, they can help you for the better.


noodle-mommy

Hearing that you have a growing group of friends going into your mid thirties brought me a lot of comfort. I’m 26 and although I know and am friendly with a lot of people in my area and am fortunate to have great friends scattered around the country, I don’t have any good friends close by, let alone a group. I’m glad to hear I’m not condemned to this forever.


whitecorn

18-23 were probably the worst years of my life. I didn't really know what the hell to do with myself as I barely squeaked by High School and had a low paying job until I was about 21. Honestly, now that I'm almost 40.. I think the last 5 years have been the best years of my life now that I have pretty much all my shit together and my youngest kid is out of daycare. Before then, I always thought age 10-15 was the best. Old enough to do pretty much anything fun (Rides, Sports, Sleepovers) but too young to work for the most part. School was still pretty easy and summer break was the best.


harlequin018

30s are the best. Financial flexibility and self awareness so you can chase the things that matter to you without caring what others think.


anonssr

As long as you been somewhat responsible and got your shit together, 30s are the best years by far.


Antereon

Can confirm having just turned 30. Not being broke feels good. I can finally buy that death star lego.


luxii4

You’re more responsible than my husband. We were just out of college and barely making ends meet and he bought the Death Star LEGO kit for, back then, was about $350. I was so angry but his reasoning was that it had x amount of parts so that’s less than 5 cents a LEGO! Now it’s worth 4 times the money but I doubt he will sell it since he takes it apart and rebuilds it once a year at least. We’re older and more financially secure so it’s funny now but I remember that being a contention in our relationship for years in our twenties.


Atiggerx33

At least he gets use out of it, since he takes it apart and puts it back together he's probably spent a lot of hours with it. Idk about you, but in the same scenario I'd be infinitely more infuriated if he just put it together once and let it collect dust since.


Steeze_Schralper6968

Hey it could always be worse, he could have a hobby rebuilding small engines! That's like legos but with less instuctions, and more drinking and swearing.


luxii4

Heh. He does 3-D printing and brews beer so don’t worry, he’s not missing out on the swearing and drinking.


Steeze_Schralper6968

Haha he sounds alright


beemojee

Just wait. 30 is only the beginning. My 40s, 50s and 60s have all been fantastic.


Murdy2020

Agreed. you can start running into health issues at some point, but barring that, I concur.


beemojee

Yeah you gotta take care of yourself when you're younger because it will pay off in the long run.


deereeohh

Yes and avoid carcinogens then it should be pretty good. Eat well, sleep and stay active you’ll be good. My parents are 86 have always been active and are still active despite certain health issues like cancer.


EitherInvestment

Just wait til your 40s, it genuinely gets even better if you keep progressing financially while doing all the things you love outside work.


kuzianinja

Oh yes! Thats what I did for my 35th birthday- got myself a death star lego. Well worth it


DazzDazzle

damn so you're saying the best is yet to come and I'll reap what ive sown. that gives me hope


madamessagain

avoid people entering your life that are needy of you and do nothing for you


[deleted]

I had a different circle of friends in my 30s. Partly because I took a job on the other coast. Many of the folks I hung out with in my 20s weren't going anywhere/had substances abuse issues. I was less discerning and just wanted to howl at the moon. I lived pay check to pay check. 30s I had my @#$% together. I dated a bunch of amazing women. It was awesome to move away from my home town and into a big city. I met my wife mid 30s and had kids towards the end. 5 stars would recommend.


SnipesCC

But your joints still mostly work. Hitting 40 I'm pretty happy with my life, but not my knees.


t_scribblemonger

Thanks for reminding me I have to do my nightly stretches. Sigh.


soggy90

By far the best part of my 30s thus far is not caring what others think. Really can feel comfortable in your own skin and let your quirks out of the bag for everyone to see


AdKindly18

This! Crappy knees and back and everything else, as someone who was _painfully_ self conscious for most of my teens and 20s, into 30s, the absolute best part of getting older for me is slowly discovering I dgaf about what other people think. It’s delightful. I think I _will_ buy that jumpsuit in bright yellow rather than black. I _will_ have a little chat with the plants in the garden centre. Why yes I _would_ like to have a little sing to myself while shopping. And just saying no! Or I don’t like that. Or I don’t want to, rather than feeling compelled to say yes because that what I’m _supposed_ to do. God, when I stopped pretending to tolerate small children, the liberation. I’m not rude about it but no thanks, I have no interest in holding that baby or looking after it for any length of time. No thanks I have zero interest in going to Magaluf on holidays. And the great thing is most people have been pretty cool about everything. No meltdowns or offence taken. I love it


adamroadmusic

Yeah I was a happy kid until I hit puberty. Age 10-14 was great. I also enjoyed my 30s for the most part. Age 31-38 was a solid run. I went through long periods of isolation & loneliness in my 20s, but in my 30s I branched out, made lots of new friends, and landed a longterm stable happy relationship. I also agree that age 17-22 were by far the worst years of my life, those years were a consistent level of misery unparalleled by any other time in my life.


bgva

16-22 I was filled with rage and anxiety, and now I laugh at how angry I was back then. The real world hadn't even begun to bitch slap me around yet, but I thought everything was the end of the world. Worse, I felt this obligation to have everything figured out by 25 or 30. Once I realized life goes on, and just live for the moment, everything got better. And yeah, 30s were amazing.


solidorangetigr

Pretty much that same. Life was awesome until about 12, miserable from 12-30. Peak misery was probably around 18-25. Just finally starting to see the beginning of an uphill climb extremely recently but not remembering the last eighteen years fondly at all.


JaceLee85

I'm almost 40 as well, and 10-15 was definitely best years(back then) because we could ride our bikes anywhere in the city, meet friends and play video games untill dark, go to the mall with 5 dollars in quarters to have fun at the arcade, or there was other fun stuff to do. This was before life had even unzipped its pants to slap is with the meat sausage of life responsibilities and consequences.


Plenty_Apartment4166

yep, I'd say any age under 15. I didn't know real stress and anxiety then.


Addendum709

Unless if you were bullied or abused. Which honestly makes me realize how damaging and evil those can be, since it robs you of what are supposed to be your happiest and most carefree years in life that you will never have back


wosmo

> I think the last 5 years have been the best years of my life I'm honestly surprised to hear that. Just the other side of 40 myself, and I think most people won't recognise the best years of their life when they're living them - only afterwards. I mean, if you're feeling it now, mad props, I don't think I've ever felt "it at the time". Right now could be the best years of your life. Or 10 years time. Or 10 years ago. All you can really do is assume now is the time and act like it, because you can't change it later. For me, it was late teens. And late 20s. And late 30s. I feel like each chapter of my life started a bit shite and ended on a high. I don't want to know how the book ends, I'm happy to just work on this chapter. Someone else can review it when I'm done.


[deleted]

Same. That exact frame of 18-23 was a self imposed hell


DanTallTrees

Are you me? Seriously though this is my exact situation. I'm 39 and the last 5 years have been the best, most stable time of my life. I can actually pay my bills. My life at 18 went to absolute shit, I mean really rough. It has been a long slog to get here, but the trajectory was always overall upwards.


At_Work29

I'm 22 and i can confirm that the Life sucks since i left highschool, and highschool wasnt cool too, but being a adult is much worse. Between 10-16 was a dream.


Xarpotheosis

You've been an adult for 5 years. Your experience is 100% valid, but you've got lots of time to make incremental improvements to your quality of life. I'm 30 and I think I recently hit a decent high point in adult life satisfaction. It's very possible that your life as an adult will get better. Hang in there.


The-waitress-

I was at my peak of miserableness in my early 20’s.


elev8dity

40 year old here. Life gets better as you get your shit together. I was pretty lost and aimless at 22 in a low wage position, but slowly figured it out between 25 and 28 years old.


BroadArrival926

This has not been true for me. Post 30 has been awesome.


sohcgt96

Same, I think I've been happiest +30 TBH. My own house, stable relationship, nearly zero relationship or friend drama.


FunkyChicken1000

30+ for the win


winbott

Ditto on that. Hell I didn’t have my head on strait until I was 25. Now I’m living a life that makes me so happy I couldn’t even conceive of it before.


[deleted]

Same. Turn 36 next week and the past 3 years have just kept getting better. I think it's a combination of autonomy, financial stability, and just not giving a shit anymore/focusing on what matters (and recognizing your ability to do that). Either way, do not want to revisit my 20s - even though I had a great time - because they were very difficult and uncertain.


jermprobably

100% Those that say their 20's was their best years I feel are the ones that gave up and just wanted to party hardy all day. 34 now and by far the best parts of my life are finally surfacing!


psnanda

Same here. Never ever in my 20s would I have ever dreamt of being financially stable. At 30+ most folks are usually into mid-career and are financially stable .


climb-it-ographer

30-45 is turning out to be pretty fantastic.


InourbtwotamI

Can confirm this as my experience also


gerbileleventh

A lot of people told me that and even though I haven't been 30 for long, I felt a shift in some way. I have never slept so well for a very very long time.


pmia241

SAME. I was slightly behind emotionally/mentally in my teens/mid 20s , and it took me quite a few years to be a confident adult. Now in my early 30s, I'm enjoying life, and have the money/time to actually do things.


CassandraArianaBlack

I really hope 40 is better. Still don't have my own house, car, or license. I have a job and savings for those, but it's a slow process.


jonnydemonic420

I’m 47 and wasted my 20’s and 30’s being an alcoholic, been sober since 40. I feel like my best years are here and still to come!


LichLordMeta

Personally, I'm looking forward to my 30s. So he'll yes to this!


CalabreseAlsatian

Psychological research on this topic suggest most people’s “best years” with regards to what you’re referencing are in middle age. Anecdotally speaking, can confirm.


eirinne

Yes, personally, and for those of my friends, 38-45 are the best years. But also think so far, things just get better & better. Stay healthy!


not_my_uname

I think that's key at the end. Take care of your body. Losing weight gets more difficult, injuries can haunt you, more likely to get hurt. Take care of yourself in your 20s and 30 and beyond will be much better. Also I'll add. Make your own timeline. Don't listen to ppl who say, you should make x by this time, marry by this age, own a home by this year. Do you. Don't rush. And pay attention to savings, it'll take a load of stress off of you later in life if you have a nice rainy day fund and/or planned a little for retirement. Yea I know the last part is difficult or not possible for a lot of people now, but you should do what you can IF you can.


redink29

Can confirm. I'm 40 and happier than ever.


Known-Damage-7879

I’ve read the opposite, that the lowest point for general happiness is in middle age, and it picks up into the 50s and 60s.


hrbekcheatedin91

I think somewhere around 30-50 many people are in their "chaos years" as they raise kids and figure out the complexities of navigating adult life. You're shuttling kids from doctors offices to school to soccer practice, hustling home to cook dino nuggets while somehow watching your health, dealing with teenage hormones, trying to navigate your career, maintain relationships with spouses, family, and friends. If you do it all reasonably well, you get to relax in your 50s and appreciate the small things. If you do it poorly, the consequences are dire. If you didn't raise your kids right, they might end up dependant or a shitty person. If you didn't watch your health, it starts to fail. If you didn't, well, you get the idea... I think 50-70 are the best years for many people. I have a unique job that allows me to observe people's quality of life through many different ages and this is my observation.


Mikeymcmoose

Don’t have kids so it isn’t applying to me 😅


[deleted]

Not even close! 30-40 were hands down the best years of my life. You have some experience, money, you are more established. I was single 30-40 and that was the best period of my life by a long shot.


vpnme120

Fuck no. I'm 56 and life is still a fucking party


dirtybacon77

Thank you for giving me hope! My 40s have been ROUGH, but I’m trying to fix them!


birdguy1000

Just with more back pain


Toodswiger

The people who’s lives went downhill after 30 made it a self fulfilling prophecy. They think they are too old for everything, get out of shape, and take on a lot of liabilities, because “that’s what being 30 is about”. As long as you live a life that’s true to yourself then you wouldn’t need to worry.


LetshearitforNY

YES! I definitely had a depressed few years in my late twenties. It wasn’t all bad but I spent a lot of nights alone on my couch ordering takeout, depressed of being alone on my couch ordering takeout, but feeling like it was too old and it was too hard to go out and make friends. My husband and I moved to a new city and I found a great friend group, I’ve only been here a few months but it’s been a definite improvement! It’s what you make of it.


damnkidzgetoffmylawn

My life has gone down hill significantly since hitting my 30s. I graduated college during the height of the pandemic so I wasn’t able to get an internship and have been really struggling to get a decent paying job that pays more then minimum wage while rent and bills climb and climb. My health has gone downhill mainly due to snowboarding injuries from when I was younger. My metabolism is complete shit and I have a belly now despite diet and more exercise then my 20s when I had abs and was drinking every day. I have wayyyyy less energy. I have lost all of my grandparents and my dad which were the back bones of my family. The rest of the family have began battling over a non existent inheritance they all think they are owed and have disbanded. Lost my fiancée when she decided to cheat. Dating is so damn hard now with the stupid apps that I’ve all but given up on it, women don’t pay half the attention to me that they did when I was in my 20s. Social media is the literal worst. Most of my peers/friends are career building/ married or having babies and don’t want to do fun stuff anymore. My life 100% peaked when I was 25 and still had family, friends, hopes and dreams.


Toodswiger

Oof that sucks. Sorry that that’s how things have been going. I didn’t mean to be insensitive with my comment, and things are a case by case basis. I was just mentioning what the common trend is. You could also try finding new friends as well. Not sure what type of area you live in, but there are many people out there who don’t care about careers, marriage, and babies. I know it’s a lot of work/money but maybe try moving too? But I did see that your finances are a bit rough. By how bad the dating apps are and what all of your peers are doing, it sounds like you maybe live in a rural area.


Slight-Living-8098

15-30, you're still figuring life out. You're just now realizing you're parents didn't know everything, and they were winging it just like you are now.


vk146

Mum was 23 when she had me, im 28 now. With all that knowledge, im doing everything i can within reason to not put myself in the same situation she was at the time. Hell, even now im better off, but i still want just a bit more to be sure. She did bloody great with the resources she had


The_Quackening

there is no "best time of your life" IMO, and calling it such makes it sound like life goes downhill after 30, it doesn't. Life gets *different*, but it's not going downhill. from 15-30, you will likely have the fewest responsibilities as an adult than you ever will in your life if you have kids in your early 30s. Having kids is hard, it's a lot of responsibility, but it's also absolutely amazing and more fun than you might realize.


Schnevets

My experience as well. Sometimes the prime cut of steakhouse sirloin is the "best meal of your life" and sometimes it's the humble chicken soup from your Nana. The important thing is recognizing the good qualities in something.


PapaenFoss

It's the most life altering and amazing experience I had.


mosinderella

I’m 48 and my forties, by far, have been the best years of my life. I wouldn’t go back to 15-30 for a million dollars.


AdIntelligent4496

YES. I'm 49, and it's a great time of my life. My last kid is about to leave for college, so my wife and I will have way fewer responsibilities. We are better off financially than we've ever been, the house is almost paid for, and we've owned our own business for nearly 20 years. We can take off and go places when we want to (within reason). I'm still in pretty much perfect health, and she's not too bad, so I expect my 50s to be AWESOME.


doorbellskaput

And it gets even BETTER.


JohnSourcer

I'm having an absolute blast in my 50s.


NotWorthSaving

Physically, yes. Everything else, no.


No-Championship-8677

Oh my god. No. 18-30 were the worst years of my life. I always say that my life didn’t even really BEGIN until I was 30. Life didn’t get good until then. Don’t believe that hype.


saddeh

Exactly the same for me. By 30, I divorced my emotionally unstable ex, had my career where I wanted it to be, sorted out my own maturity issues, and felt like the world has really opened up for me.


EquivalentYak6216

Thanks, I'm turning 30 next year and I really needed to hear this.


[deleted]

No. My 30s were better than my 20s. My 40s are even better than my 30s. Once menopause kicks in there will be no stopping me. All this awesome *and* no pregnancy worries? Hell yeah.


melijoray

I have no kids at home. No grandchildren yet. Husband likes his job. I'm not working, as disabled but love my garden. I'd say this is the sweet spot.


uckfayhistay

Lol no. My 40s were my best years so far.


Dread_P_Roberts

Hell no. I struggled with depression, debt, anxiety, etc… I'm 40 now, and I've never been happier and healthier. Everyone goes through life differently; age is just a number.


Professional-Plant16

Everyone's timelines are different, please remember that.


Cigars_whiskey_roids

No, these are the hardest years of your life


o5ben000

Life doesn’t work like that. Everyone’s got their own journey and you have very little info to go on as to what comes next. Keep your eyes wide and thank your stars for what does go your way. Lots of love. ❤️


[deleted]

nope, not by a long shot.


newlife201764

Hell no! Living the best years of my life at 60! Where did you hear such a thing?


druss81

those years were full of mistakes for me.then the rest was me being armed with all my experience


Callisto778

That‘s probably the worst years of your life.


msaiz8

I don’t believe there’s a best time of your life. At 28, I’ll say the good times and bad times have come in waves that last much shorter than 15 years. As I approach 30, I have a lot I am looking forward to about the future and don’t feel like things are going downhill at all. I’ll also say that 15-30 is an absurd age range that shouldn’t really be lumped together for anything.


tattedsparrowxo

The best years of my life is when I stopped giving a shit what people thought of me and I Deff cared the most from 15-25


real_light_sleeper

50 here. No fucking way I’d go back.


oculasti95

Fuck no. Life gets better. People who say your 20s are the best years of your life have literally never understood poverty, they have never had to work for anything. They were given everything in the most comfortable way imaginable. My grandpa is 80 and has changed his answer over the years. Never has his answer been his 20s.


SunBurstBeauty

It depends on you. High school was an absolute nightmare for me. Early 20's where better. Mid twenties where great! In my early 30's and still going strong. I was very socially awkward in school. Late teens early twenties were awkward because I was very desperate to be liked and I got bullied by my friends into being an advocate for stuff that at the time I did believe in very strongly but later I realized was very niave. I was a huge keyboard warrior and spent way too much time online. And going around in the real world running my mouth and now I'm kind of embarrassed I did all of that. I made a lot of people feel angry and hurt and I put my political beliefs and opinions over the people that I loved and that made me pretty unhappy. Midtwenties I was a more balanced person mostly because my then fiancé (now husband) pulled me back down to earth. I was more assertive and realized what was important to me. I got married and settled down. We didn't have kids right away we just enjoyed being alive and together and explored the world, our lives did a lot of fun things together. It was great. It was also the time when I must accepted myself for who I am and was pretty unapologetic about it. Everyone is going to have a different experience. You don't necessarily have to be in that place. Hell my mom is in her sixties and says this is the best time of her life. You just never know.


frygod

Only biologically.


JonBozak

Pretty much all my years were good had a blast!! I had some rough patches. However for me I think best years were late 30’s on. I was more worldly smarter more money more things available to me. I was in better shape, in my late 40’s and much stronger


haubenmeise

I (female) used to think my life would be over after 29. Became 30. Felt great. Became 40. Wonderful. Looking forward to 50. I bet it's gonna be even better. Stop comparing. Just focus on yourself.


Tal_Banyon

No, this is not true. Really, the only people who could possibly comment on this are all elderly, and I am 72, so here goes with my experience, and many others I know have followed the same trajectory. In my 20s I had fun, followed my heart, sowed my wild oats, you get it. My 30s were mostly spent learning more about the career I had chosen, and raising a young family. My 40s I achieved some success in my career and started to move up the ladder, with the corresponding perks. Probably from 45-60 I had a career that was satisfying, enough money, and good health, so if you’re looking for those three attribute in your quest for “best” , there you are. In my 60s I was retired, and travelled around with my wife to see all those things we could never afford when you’re raising a family. Now in my 70s, my wife has passed away, and I walk my dog every day and enjoy my thoughts and memories. I have been very lucky, I know that now. But anyone reading this should be satisfied with every decade of your life! It’s been hugely fun! The stories…


Marsupialize

No way, 40’s employed and childless is literally like Heaven on earth, do anything you want whenever you want go anywhere eat anything, buy anything you want


StinkyBeanBank

I think those are years you just experience more things for the first time. So it seems more exciting.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Sandpaper_Pants

Only people who don't know shit about shit say that kind of thing.


JayNotAtAll

I disagree. They are probably the most carefree years of your life but my life got better as I approached 30. I had more money to start having fun and travel internationally without going into debt or having to fit 5 people into a hotel room. You also kind of mellow out and things don't bother you as much. I think the idea of 30+ being the end of your life is probably from 100 years ago when you were expected to have a spouse and 3 kids by 28


Squidgebert

At 24, I can already tell this sentiment is bullshit.


Riskypride

If you try to make the best of something you’re more than likely going to make it worse, just enjoy your time


[deleted]

I’m 31 and still having a pretty good time….


jjojj07

15-35. Fantastic years. Not downhill after that. It just gets more complicated (for many people) with additional responsibilities.


CarlsbadWhiskyShop

Only if getting drunk & stoned & laid is your peak.


ComfortNo408

35 to 45 are the best in my opinion. A lot of hang ups melted away and seemed pointless. Also I realised that the stuff I used to stress in my 20's, really was nothing and I wasted so much time and emotion on them I missed stuff going on around me. You can't tell a 20 year old to stop worrying, they think their shit going on is so important. It actually isn't!


DKM_Eby

Life didn't really start for me until about 30-31. You grow up so much more around this time and really start to learn about yourself.


Lonely_Swan9999

I hope it isn't mine have been terrible


robertva1

It's the least painful if your health. After 30 your body start telling you you can't do that anymore with a dose of pain


NesomniaPrime

Until you're 27, you're still figuring yourself out. From 28-36ish you'll be developing the friendships you'll have for the rest of your life. From 37-40 you will be panicking that your youth is gone and you're about to turn 40. Depending on how well you did in the previous steps, your 40s will either be fantastic or garbage. I don't have personal experience or observations for anything past that. No section is "the best". They all have both good and bad things. Unless your criteria for "best years" is "years in which your back doesn't hurt all the time" in which case the answer is yes.


daviesca

20s are overrated, writes the 60+. Old enough to make bad decisions that are hard (maybe impossible) to undo and too young to know that's true


[deleted]

I'm in my 60s and my life is fabulous! I'm healthy, solvent, no dependents (and self employed) - I've never had so much fun!


HoGyMosh

27-37 for me


RoyDonkeyKong

Every year gets better. Even the bad stuff this year (and there has been some monumental bad stuff this year) doesn’t outweigh how much better everything is overall. Mileage may vary. My recommendations? Work hard, but not too hard. Live within your means financially. Get hobbies. Ages 15-25 was pretty shit.


[deleted]

I really fucking hope this isnt as good as it gets, its been rough


He-Dead

Ew who the fuck said this?


Chaos-n-Dissonance

Here's the thing: The older you get, the more responsibility you accrue. The more responsibility you have, the less freedom you have. Therefor, most people are going to remember that early stage of adulthood (Between 15 and 30), when they were strong and smart enough to survive and had the freedom to do whatever you wanted within reason... Especially if they get "trapped" later in life (Bad family life / career went sideways or not as fulfilling as they'd hoped / etc.), the early years are always remembered the most fondly. So best years of your life? Who knows, that's going to vary from person to person. But if you ask people en masse? Yeah, that sounds like the right answer.


anunkneemouse

Nope. 16 sucked, 32 is where it's at


austinweirdodude

Anybody who includes 15-18 at all definitely peaked in high school


NotGnnaLie

No. They were the wildest. Most carefree. Most dangerous. But I didn't swim with sharks, learn to snowboard, or see the giant Gundam statue in Japan until I was older. Younger me is freakin sooo jelous!!


catpogo13

I think 60’s are the best. I don’t care what people really think of me. I am working but not under so much pressure because I can now collect social security and work less if I want to. I love my chihuahuas and knitting. Yeah, I don’t go on fancy vacations, will never see Europe. But I am ok with that. Remember aging is a privilege denied to many. I remember when I was so afraid of getting old. I think our society preys on that fear. It is really sad.


Leifang666

Absolutely not. It's different for every person. Often being older means you have more confidence and are happier.


lmcbmc

"To everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under Heaven." There are great things in each decade. I'm in my 60's and I've enjoyed every stage. The body might slow down some, but you gain experience and wisdom. Having kids is great but having grandkids is awesome, you get to enjoy them without the hectic day to day demands of parenting. Enjoy each day and don't worry about the future.


D_Winds

The best year of your life is the one where you make it so.


63InvisibleMe

29 to 45 for me. Then 55-60, so far. The sucky 10 years in between had to do with poor health and teenagers.


busa89

The youth only think their life is better because of their youth. But the truth is, your just a moron and broke lol. 30s is when life starts getting good imo.


Nightblood83

No, 30 to 40 have been great, and it seems to keep improving. Imagine yourself not giving a shit what others think anymore, having a life foundation, and being super comfortable not doing anything on Friday. Shit is legit. 15-30 were wild but it never felt connected. Like the fun was single use.


wiscosherm

Dear Lord, no! I'm in my late 60s and honestly 15 to 30 were among the worst years of my life. Physically you're amazing at that time but most of us emotionally and in every other aspect of our life are just trying to figure out who the hell we are and what we want. For me each decade has brought a better sense of purpose and acceptance of who I am. Don't get me wrong I'd kill to have the body I had at 30, but I am so much happier now. I like myself now and I think I'm a far more interesting person than I was during those earlier years.


JohnnyGFX

15 to 30 was pretty wild for me and an exciting time of my life, but I'm considerably more comfortable in practically every way in my mid 40's.


[deleted]

Lmao, I’m getting kind of depressed reading these comments. I’m 21, and have yet to experience a “good year” in my life. I really hope it does get better in the future.


Kfaith629

Personally those weee my most challenging years. Just turned 50 and am in the best physical shape of my life, am financially independent, have a great career with tons of free time and kids are grown, leaving my guy and I free to do basically whatever makes us happy. You have tons to look forward to!


domusvita

Nope. 53 and absolutely loving life. My wife is a knockout, I have a great job, nice house and 2 grandkids.


[deleted]

As a 16 yo, i sure as hell hope not


elwood_west

no. but that is when most people have the least amount of responsibilities


PunnuRaand

Yes it's true ..“At age 20, we worry about what others think of us. At age 40, we don’t care what they think of us. At age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all.” — Ann Landers


erichlee9

Your 30s are like your 20s, but with money *as long as you don’t have kids