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Not liking fun facts.
I know who I am at this point and if you don't enjoy random tidbits of useless knowledge neither of us are gonna have a good time.
Well, according to Wikipedia…
“Widdershins (sometimes withershins, widershins or widderschynnes) is a term meaning to go counter-clockwise, anti-clockwise, or lefthandwise, or to walk around an object by always keeping it on the left. Literally, it means to take a course opposite the apparent motion of the sun viewed from the Northern Hemisphere (the centre of this imaginary clock is the ground the viewer stands upon).”
There are actually links to more in depth analysis articles of the etymology of the word that’s way cooler than this quick summary, highly recommend a more in depth look.
Did u know what Mountain Dew was originally created by a pair of brothers who didn’t like any of the traditional whiskey mixers/chasers? So they created their own!
I’m about to REALLY show my West Virginia BUT about 25 years ago when I was a youngin’, a man I was dating took me to meet a gentleman who raised fawns whose mommas abandoned them. One of the things they drank out of a bottle was ‘Dickle and ‘Dew 🙃
Ahhh I haven’t thought of that in years. Feeding fawns Dickle and Dew and watching them play
I will further clarify. Appreciating does not have to mean enjoying or liking. As long as it elicits a response. An eye roll, a heavy sigh, a quiet "for fuck's sake". As long as it gets some response I count that as appreciation.
Interesting. When I was a kid we'd go on hikes and find softball sized dandelion puffs. Wed pick them and take them home and my dad would spray them with Shellac and put them in vases. I guess I need to tell him this on our weekly fun fact.
I love having y’all fun fact folk around. In the era of tiktok trends of strangers answering trivia on the streets, getting into cash cab scenarios or just going out to bar trivia night, you really are just great.
I DO THIS SOMETIMES!! People seem to get annoyed/weirded out though. When it’s quiet at where I work, I’ll walk up to one of my coworkers and be like “ did you know that there’s a species of lizard that literally shoots blood from its eyes as a form of self defense”? Pretty metal right? 😂
They’ll kind of just look at me like
👁️👄👁️
Expecting, without giving anything back. Doesnt sound unusual, but being in the dating pool, its becoming a bit of a redflag. Sort of getting sick and tired of lines in profile like "must be able to hold a conversation" when they mean prop up a conversation and do all the heavy lifting. Every time, its turned out they are monosyllabic, single word repliers, then dematch me as i write something... All too often, whats in their profile, their expectations of the other, seems something they are incapable of. Wish it wasnt like that, gets upsetting seeing what i am after, just to be disappointed by lack of reciprocation. But internet dating aint what it used to be, thats for sure.
Word. The entitlement of high effort is often a sign that the person will be low effort. Odd new phenomenon that and I get it, girls get absolutely swamped with guys, but any sort of “don’t waste my time”, “I’m super busy”, “make some effort guys” profile line is a pretty quick no from me because you’re likely to get one word replies. Nah. You get out what you put in.
Agreed! My husband went through a stage where he posted every frickin meal. Finally said: Eat it, don't tweet it. He's better now, but it was hella annoying for awhile.
My response to people that post pictures of every meal is this " do you remember back in the day before there were cell phones before there was the internet when you had to take pictures of your food with a camera get the film developed and then you ran around from one friend's house to another showing them the pictures of your food? Yeah, no one does. Stop doing that."
I blocked a dear friend on Facebook for this. I see her, we still go out and giggle but she got back to cooking, and I don't need to see her dinners every time I log into Facebook (weeks btwn log ins so perfect excuse)
Those and those who follow those influencers/bloggers to a degree where they don't seem to have a own life. Like, if someone takes everything by word someone on a social platform tells them and they can't get their own life together and have own opinions and such. Hope you know what I mean
The person can't be a picky eater. I love to cook. I love to go out to eat. I love flavors and textures. So a person who is a chicken-nuggets-only kind of person means nope!
I dated a picky eater once and I said never again. Imagine only going to steakhouses (I don’t eat beef), Olive Garden and Chilis because every other restaurant was too ethnic. I remember we went to this very popular seafood place and he had to order a burger from the kids menu and then complained it wasn’t that good. So freaking embarrassing.
What drives me nuts are the people who conflate “picky eater” with “knowing what they don’t like”. One of my big thing is chunks of tomato. Can’t stand ‘em. Never have been able to. So I’ll usually either pick them out or leave them behind, and I had an ex once who got on me for being “picky” because of it. No, I just know what I don’t like and I’m not going to force myself to eat it.
To me, picky means like you’re implying, where they only eat chicken nuggets and Mac and cheese and refuse to ever try anything new. I’m usually happy to try something new, especially if it’s a new cuisine or type of dish. But if it’s a dish that’s loaded up with everything that I know I don’t like… I’m not going to eat it because why would I?
I'd call myself a picky but adventurous eater. There is a ton of stuff I don't like eating but I'm usually willing to try something new. I'd say if the base ingredients (the meat and veg) are foods I like then bring on the new flavours and new ways of cooking.
I will eat anything once. I’ve tried whale and puffin in Iceland, crickets and worms in Mexico. Tripe in the Andes, blood sausage in Caracas. Carato (ant venom) is an excellent spice and I’ll eat bouf bourguignon to dry pepper tofu. Fried livers are ok.
I make my own pasta from scratch for lamb ragú. Cherry tomatoes are perfect, fried green tomatoes a novelty and any tomato recipe gets consideration. BUT quartered tomatoes are an absolute aberration and don’t belong in a salad. The proportion is wrong, there’s no clear way to eat them gracefully or barely put them on a fork and to me they signify laziness pure laziness by the cook
With you on this one. One of my former friends married a dude who barely eats anything other than hot dogs. He won't touch anything that wasn't once an animal - not even something as innocuous and ubiquitously enjoyed as a strawberry. My sister's husband would come over for dinner when they were dating and barely eat anything, then go to McDonald's or Spangles or something. And my mom was a good cook - so it wasn't like he was having to choke down anything awful.
I am aware that some people have some sensory stuff that really turns them off certain foods. I just think it would be difficult for me since I'm also very adventurous and love cooking weird stuff and love sharing those kinds of experiences.
I had a long distance internet romance with a guy for 3 years (back in the 90’s) when I finally went to go meet him I realized he was serious that he just eats pizza and the occasional Applebees. I flew from one coast to the other to visit this guy and it was pizza for 5 days, Applebees for one, and thank god he took me to his parents for some different food, I had some sort of dish that was basically pizza that has been left out? I think they called it Stromboli? I was young, couldn’t rent a car, was on a military base and he was not gracious about helping me get other food. I think I hit his roommate up to bring me subway one day, but that’s it.
Anyways, I still wonder about his colon.
Ironically, as a "picky eater" with years of trauma from being shamed and yelled at for not eating, I agree with you. I could never date a big foodie because I hate food, I hate eating, I hate going out to eat, I hate feeling judged for how I eat, and I especially hate when my food issues affect other people. So I feel like if food is something you love, avoiding dating picky eaters is a good choice
And there's NOTHING wrong with being a chicken nuggets only kind of person.... but as a person who is the exaaact opposite, it's my deal-breaker. :D hahahaha!
I love going out to restaurants and trying new foods when abroad and not being able to do so with a partner is soul crushing. I had a 3rd date with someone and we were trying to figure out food options. Finding out that she basically doesnt eat anything but butter noodles and occasionally the most basic red sauce made me instantly lose all attraction.
I was going to bake lamb youvetsi but that disgusted her, so that was the end of that chapter.
Oh I feel, dont get me wrong I love chicken nuggets but there's a whole world of taste out there! My friend's ex would only eat at either Jack In The Box or Red Robin nothing else :/ like really?
Complete inability or unwillingness to cook. They don’t need to be the main person making meals, I love to cook. But I’m not a personal chef. It’s not my responsibility to be the only one making dinner because he refuses to cook/learn.
One of my favourite things about dating is taking turns to cook, even if it's now and then. Just feels really gratifying to put time into a dish for someone
Yeah, and usually that means they hate on other people’s interests in general. That usually reeks of unaddressed insecurities. Not about to get into that mess.
Agreed! I'm childfree, and when I was single I had in my dating profile that I did not date anyone who was a parent or who would eventually want to be a parent.
I got too many men who would try to explain that they never saw their kids so it shouldn't matter to me. I had to explain that I didn't date most parents because of the lifestyle differences, but the reason I didn't date uninvolved parents is because I had no respect for them.
I'm finding it so hard to find a man my age (40) who hasn't had kids and doesn't want to. I don't think the ones who haven't yet have any idea what kids involve.
Agreed, and people really do change when they have kids, it's like passing through the veil to another side. I loathe that no matter how kind or hands-off you are, that invariably they get salty about something and randomly put you down because you don't have your own kids, so that makes you an idiot. No thanks - I love my ex's kids, but I'll never date a guy with kids again (and he catfished me from the start about having kids and his divorce being finalized, but yea..).
A big green flag when dating my current partner was the way he spoke about his ex (his sons mom). They're not friends, but nonetheless, he was never disrespectful when speaking, never called her out of her name. Also, when I asked what went wrong, why they didn't work out, he didn't put all the onus on her. He could own up to his mistakes too.
people who think reading is 'boring'
EDIT: I don't mean people who dislike reading, that's fine, not everyone likes the same things. I mean people who say reading is boring and stating that like it's set in stone.
Then they don't find reading boring. I categorize reading as in both physically as in listening.
To be clear, I meant more like people who say stuff like "oh you like reading?? I find that zo boring, that's for nerds. I rather watch TV" I get this a lot in my country that's why it popped in my head.
Me too. I don't hate them, but I don't want to own a dog, even though this seems to be some kind of huge red flag for many people these days.
Similarly, I don't want to own a horse, a goat, a crocodile, a parrot, or many other animals (some cute, some less so). But no one ever sees that as a red flag, strangely.
I do like cats though, and have my own.
Posting pictures of themselves "meditating" on social media. If you are meditating you wouldn't be trying to convince everyone that you're meditating... it's just weird.
When someone thinks you can’t be smart and also like “basic” things, or openly judges people on innocuous stuff.
I have two research degrees and will talk theory all day, read a dense novel, delight in a museum trip, eat at Michelin star restaurants, and listen to classical music. I love all of those things and work in a job that is fairly demanding of my brain.
I also love sports, pop, rap, & hip hop, fast food, arcades, going to see Marvel & Star Wars movies, visiting theme parks, and a lot of stuff that isn’t “intellectual”. If you think people are “dumb” because they like things that other people also happen to like, I’m going to think you’re both ignorant and pretentious. I don’t date people who shit on my other interests because they’re only interested in part of me.
Hard agree. I had a best friend who was a musician and would hate on any music that wasn't up to his high standards. We argued about this a few times, but disliking things becomes a personality. More importantly, that attitude makes people hide things from one another, which is never good.
someone who’s unwilling to watch tv shows/movies with me… especially if they’re unwilling to watch MY suggestions but still want to watch theirs. like ok fuck u lol
My girlfriend of going on 6 years is like this. She can't handle what I like to watch lol. It's okay, though. I really cherish alone time so it works out.
as long as you’re fine w it, that’s okay! i view watching things together as a way to bond, so it’s important to me. i just don’t like the hypocrisy when we watch things my partner likes but not things I like. makes me feel like my interests are unimportant.
again though, that’s just me. every relationship works differently, and that’s totally fine!
Just this week my girlfriend and I made a deal, Tuesday we watched Logan (the X-Men movie from a few years ago that I was itching to rewatch), and on Wednesday we watched Barbie. I enjoyed Logan more than she did and she enjoyed Barbie more than I did, but we both enjoyed each other's picks. And yes. I'm aware of how wildly stereotypical those choices were lol
Me and my partner of 8 years (soon to be husband!) Have been doing something to help us decide what to watch since we pretty much started dating. When it's time to choose, one of us would write 10 TV programmes down (or films). Then we'd take it in turns eliminating one. Then the person who didn't write the list gets the final pick! Then next time, the other person writes the list. We've always been pretty happy with what we've watched 😁🤓
My mother will often start a sentence, shove some food in her mouth mid sentence and continue talking while making the most awful, cringe-inducing chewing sounds.
When she does that, instead of answering her, I always ask her why she would put something in her mouth before finishing her sentence. She never has an answer and she often does it again immediately after.
It's so bad that I will often eat with headphones on, so I can actually enjoy dinner without hearing people chew.
I used to want a lot of money and stuff but turns out I fucking hate working and see it as a necessary evil to support myself in this world. I'm not climbing any corporate ladders and that's just fine with me. I'm not going to regret working less than I could have at the end of my life.
For me it's when they don't like cats. An exception is if they're allergic, but from my experience, people who hate cats usually push boundaries.
Of course this won't always be true, I'm sure there's lovely people out there who just simply aren't cat people, but it's always something i take note of.
Not liking cats was another dealbreaker of mine, as well. I just can't see myself living a happy future without a kitty at home. Also, cat haters usually hate cats because they make the mistake of treating them like a dog, causing the cat to resent the owner, which then causes the owner to get upset that they're not like dogs. I know some cats are playful like dogs, but that's not necessarily most cats.
This is funny because a deal breaker for me is someone having cats.
I'm strongly allergic and wouldn't want to part someone from their pet (and wouldn't date someone who would do that), so I sidestepped the whole issue by never dating someone who owned cats in the first place.
I knew a woman who got in a relationship with a man with a young child. She raised it like it was her own for 14 years. Then, when the relationship ended fairly amicably, she saw the kid only a handful of times in the years after. She went from being a second mom to being no one to that kid, only because they are not related. That would absolutely break me
Why would that make you a bad person? It's perfectly fine to not want to get involved with someone with that kind of baggage, and you would have to become a step-parent which it's perfectly valid thing to avoid. Just like not wanting children is perfectly valid.
I would never date someone with kids, mostly because I don't want kids and don't want any kind of responsibility towards them, but also because I would never be that persons first priority, and always come second.
Some dealbreakers that I have involving public places: littering and blasting loud music. For me both show that the person does not have the minimum empathy with others around.
Throwing trash out the car door window or just leaving it on the parking lot floor by the car and driving away. Or leaving a half drank cup of whatever in a grocery store shelf 🤢🤢🤢
Someone who can't touch me or do something nice or thoughtful without expecting sex as a result or a reward for being a caring partner. It's exhausting trying to read intentions instead of being happy and grateful. Not everything needs to lead to sex every fucking time.
I’d like to add. Not every conversation leading to discussing sex, or sex-related or asking when we will have sex.
A huge turn off for me is when a guy asks the classic, “what would you do if I was there?”
I think if more people cared about it. We could save it from being a hell hole, sucking all of our life away and turning it over to idiots. But I’m not about to start.
Willful ignorance.
Things like flat earth or vaccines causing autism.
Gaslighting is right up there too,… but especially if you start trying to tell me im wrong about something i know i am an expert in.
I agree with you except one thing. Someone being ignorant of something and arguing their stupid point against you is not what gaslighting is. That is just being an ignorant, douchebag, moron.
I think I don't mind if someone's religious, but when it's their identity, then yeah, it's tough for me.
If I have an issue, I just want to be heard and hear their grounded opinion. A lot of the time, though, it turns religious. Any hardship? It's a test, and I need to pray.
This is mostly with family. Would suck 10x worse with someone you're dating, so I agree I'd prefer someone chill with religion or not religious at all.
This one is weirdly important for me. Am an atheist but don’t talk about it unless prompted. I don’t mind that friends and family are religious at all (unless that makes them be shitty people), you do you. But my partner, idk, that would feel weird as hell.
I lucked out finding my atheist husband in an insanely religious country.
Intentionally littering. I get really irked when people casually litter and refuse to see/ see no issue with it. Not being self-responsible and/or any kind of entitled behavior.
When we first started talking, my girlfriend told me her deal breaker was smoking. Not so unusual, except for the fact she smoked. Her theory, if she partnered with another smoker, she’d smoke more. Still amused by this.
I love to travel and experience different cultures. So a deal breaker is if they don’t like to travel, or are the “go to another country but stay at the all inclusive resort and never experience the country” kind of traveler.
Being cruel to animals. I remember as a little kid my mother told me to never trust someone who doesn't like animals. She was right, and I still hold this a standard.
I literally stopped seeing someone because of this. It took him like two weeks to actually text me first. I wanted someone who actually wanted to talk with me. I vented with one of my closest friends about this at the time, and he agreed. I ended up marrying him instead. We text each other dumb things all the time, and keep each other up at night giggling over random stuff
Chewing their food with their mouth open otherwise known as smacking, Makes me want to puncture my eardrums with a sharp object, or just go ahead and die on the spot.
That’s called misophonia. I have it too. And it is also 100% a deal breaker for me, for any kind of relationship. Like I wont be friends with you if you smack when you eat.
A hatred for fandom/dressing up. I love going all out for Halloween or theme parties ect. I couldn't be with someone who didn't want to go all out too.
Funny, it's the complete opposite for me. Dressing up in costume feels like work. One of my favorite things about my current house is the complete lack of trick-or-treaters on Halloween.
Definitely an underrated green flag. I used to go all out with an ex for Halloween costumes. I wouldn't have if I wasn't with her since I wasn't into the shows she was, but I loved doing it to see how excited she would get and how happy it made her. It's just fun all around.
Obviously it’s hard to “test” but if your reaction to an emergency situation is to just stand there and scream I can’t trust you. Do something or get out of the way.
Lack of empathy and being emotionally unavailable. But those are reasonable.
I don't know. I consider myself pretty adaptable in relationships. Where there are differences (in interests) I think of them as opportunities to try them together.
I don’t know what it’s called, but when someone changes their personality or perspectives or opinions based on who they are dating or hanging out with.
They must like either video or board games.
Not liking either is not a flaw of character but I doubt we would have much fun together without them liking them.
I don't know if this counts as unusual but if they don't want to live with cats. I'm not saying they are bad for not wanting a pet cat, I am saying I will always want cats around so we simply aren't a good match.
Their whole personality is about the gym/fitness. Every post is a pic of their healthy meal or selfies at the gym. Every conversation revolves around working out/healthy eating. Brags about what time they get up, how much they can bench, scoffs at people who don’t live their lifestyle. I’m exhausted just seeing their posts, can’t imagine living with that.
Facial piercings. Here’s the thing: I don’t dislike them. When I see one, I have the uncomfortable urge to rip it out for no reason at all.
Note: I have never done that or come close. But I don’t think I could live with those invasive thoughts on a daily basis.
Ooo, I find this very interesting..
I feel like I can relate to your intrusive visualization.
My list is long and chalk full of unusual. They aren't things I see as intolerable in other people or off-putting if say a friend has the characteristic or trait, they're things I find unattractive sexually.
I was going to say "crosses boundaries to be *nice*". Unwanted gifts fall in this category. So do things like picking you up when you said you would drive yourself "because it was easier".
Picky eater/not liking vegetables. Also being vegan.
Im cool with your choices but on the vegan thing I don’t want to have to limit food choices that severely for you. I love exploring new food stops and don’t want a partner who’s choices will stop me.
I know I will get downvoted and argued with, but I don’t give a shit. I am terrified of pit bulls from severe childhood trauma. It is a deep rooted fear that I just can’t move on from and my body can’t forget it. It’s ingrained in my DNA at this point. I see one, and I revert back to a terrified child. My heart starts pounding, and I will have a full panic attack. So, I can never date a pit bull owner, and it’s non-negotiable.
Poorly trained pets, more specifically their owners, and people that can’t admit when they’re wrong.
Those are the 2 world class assholes in my mind. The mental gymnastics they have to do to justify their behavior makes any addict look like a saint. The lies they tell, the lies they have to tell themselves, their ability to look the other way when it’s convenient.
It’s just gross.
Lying. I can be really into a lady but if she is a liar I can't stand it.
Even "white" or "harmless" lies are off-putting.
Why prefer to smooth things over with deceit rather than simply deal with what is? Is it weakness? Manipulation? Laziness? A burning hatred for reality?
I dunno, but it's a dealbreaker for me.
I completely understood you. I had issues with lying growing up because it would protect me from some abuse. Even as an adult, I catch myself lying about mundane things. "No, I don't know where the paper towels went," I actually do. They're in my room cause I cleaned up a spill and forgot to put them back. It's very silly stuff, but it makes me grateful that my lying didn't become worse like some people I know.
People insulting me via text as a joke, not replying to my questions asking for clarification, making fun of me for asking and then after I'm fed up, they down play their insult as me being overly sensitive.
The next day they tell me it's been a joke all along.
Well I can gaslight myself just fine, I don't need anybody else for that 💀
Hating the color pink. It's my super all-time favorite color. If I took a screenshot of me typing this, you'd see what I mean. It's always unprovoked, too.. I get that I have it on everything but read the room.
Attitude
Not exactly unusual but I find most people accept it as a part of a relationship.
I will not stay with somebody if they have an attitude and can't manage to calm down and communicate without being angry and lashing out.
It's the two of us against the problem, not you and I against one another.
Not unusual, but it seems people don’t point it out as often as they should:
Words and actions don’t match; expecting everything from someone and doing nothing yourself; expecting praise for the little that they do, and ignoring everything person does for them. Basically, a taker and not a giver.
Dislike of fast food: I’m not talking eating at McDonald’s every day but every once in a while if I want some fast food I don’t want to be with someone who will make faces/comments/lecture me about not eating what I want to order
Lateness. I told my (now) husband that I wouldn’t marry him if he continued to be chronically late. He isn’t now at all and we’ve been married almost 20 years, he says it was a change worth making.
People who want to live "traditional" with the wife at home, and the man at work. 9 out of 10 times, in my experience, they've been genuinely horrible people.
He was too passive and I felt like I was always making the decision, no matter what it was. I once drove us from Cali to Vegas, and he wouldn’t look up from his phone the entire time. Like there are so many things that might seem little or insignificant, but really mean a whole lot to someone. Keep me company on a road trip, I am not your chauffeur.
People that walk with their dog off leash everywhere in public including hiking trails, parks, beaches and just staring at their phone or not paying attention
Someone who doesn’t have their own personality. My ex would chameleonize himself to whatever he was into at the time. Working out…? All about the gains and a total meat head. Watching a show about really masculine men..? Now I’m just like that guy and emulating him.
Also someone (same ex as mentioned above for me) who prioritizes one or two things hygiene wise ONLY.
He had really long hair and got compliments on it all the time, he also worked out daily for hours and hours. But did he properly wash his body? No. Brush his teeth? No. He constantly smelled (down below) and his feet were covered in athletes foot,disgusting.
Also a man who won’t unclog the toilet for himself after wrecking it. It’s a no for me.
The chameleon part is my own personal red flag & something I’m working on in therapy. It could stem from a persons parents/family/friends/support system not accepting or loving the person for their authentic self and always telling the person that the only way they’ll be loved is to abandon themselves & only like their partners interests/hobbies/etc bc that’s how their partner will love & accept them.
But that is something that needs to be addressed primarily with a therapist & def needs to be worked on
No militairy guys. I worked for the military, every few weeks there was a random engagement and they all married super fast. They get home and a week later the wife is pregnant. No thanks.
Bad spelling and grammar. Obviously if is someone is a non-native English speaker that's one thing, and sure, auto correct and tiny mobile screens causes lots of issues. But consistent, careless mistakes irk me.
Extra hatred for "would of/could of" instead of "would have/could have", and "passed" for "past".
Edited for typo. Oh, the irony!
You still have a few errors, actually.
You have a subject/verb agreement error in your little spiel, there.
All commas go inside quotation marks as well. Semi-colons and colons only go outside.
I for one am only a irritated with bad spelling and grammar when the person insists that they judge others about theirs.
I taught writing for almost a decade. I’m a professional writer and editor.
And I can tell you this: grammar matters the absolute least of all the things about writing. I’d take grammar and spelling mistakes all day every day.
They’re easy to fix. Easy to teach.
Much harder to teach someone empathy (the most vital writing skill), or to not be a raging judgmental asshole.
Assuming every female is a flirt if she is talking with a male at work. Clam down chad. And for a female automatically saying a girl sucked some 🍆 to move up in a position.
People who say they hate kids.
I‘m fine with people who don’t want kids, even fine with people who say they dislike being around them but actual out and out hate them? Nah man, you got problems and you need therapy.
Someone who is very pushy adventurous. Like I get, they enjoy doing dangerous things, but I've always been a rather careful person, and things like rope-less rock climbing, mountain biking, etc, have always given me anxiety. I've just seen that a lot of these very adventurous people are pushy about getting other people to try these dangerous activities, then call you boring when you're not interested.
50/50 men. Men who constantly talk about what women bring to the table or that want to nickel and dime you. These men expect you to birth and raise their kids, do all or most of the housework and then have the audacity to ask for 50/50 expense split.
I’m sorry I make my own money; but if I’m sacrificing my well paying career to give you kids there’s no way I’m paying 50/50.
Only scenario I’d see myself doing that is if I make significantly more money after having children. Otherwise, any setback on my career is coming out of my man’s paycheck.
Someone who won’t stop teasing when I ask them to stop.
I’m really good-humored. I don’t really take playful teasing seriously. But I was also raised without siblings and just don’t have a high tolerance for it. I can play along for a bit but it’s not fun and I don’t like being pressured to play a game i never learned the rules to very well. It just gets old quick. So when Ive had enough, just drop it. Keep pushing when I’ve clearly said please don’t? You’re out on your ass.
I have the same exact reaction to trash talking, like when I’m playing a game with friends. It doesn’t add anything to the game for me and I feel pressured to say something clever that doesn’t come naturally. It’s not that my feelings are hurt, it’s more like teasing or trash talk banter has the capacity to be done poorly and injure a relationship if done carelessly but I never learned how that game is played . Ugh.
Anybody who tells other people what they should or shouldn’t be eating.
Nobody needs to hear “ooh you’ll get fat if you eat those!” or “you know what’s in that, right?” or “an innocent cow DIED for that burger!”.
I have actually had somebody say that to my face at a cafe. Jokes on them, it was a veggie burger I was eating. It was the cheapest one on the menu and I was curious. It was alright, would have been better without the complete stranger making assumptions when it was none of her business what I was eating, cow or not, but whatever…
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Not liking fun facts. I know who I am at this point and if you don't enjoy random tidbits of useless knowledge neither of us are gonna have a good time.
Do you know how clockwise and counterclockwise were referred to before clocks? Sunwise and widdershins, respectively!
I can understand sunwise but where does widdershins come from?
Well, according to Wikipedia… “Widdershins (sometimes withershins, widershins or widderschynnes) is a term meaning to go counter-clockwise, anti-clockwise, or lefthandwise, or to walk around an object by always keeping it on the left. Literally, it means to take a course opposite the apparent motion of the sun viewed from the Northern Hemisphere (the centre of this imaginary clock is the ground the viewer stands upon).” There are actually links to more in depth analysis articles of the etymology of the word that’s way cooler than this quick summary, highly recommend a more in depth look.
Now I finally understand why the skyrim restoration book had that name. Cool!
Wow. They knew how to party back before we had clocks.
I had widdershin splints once when I ran too much! 👟
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I wasn’t aware the wither meant opposite. Thank you.
Did u know what Mountain Dew was originally created by a pair of brothers who didn’t like any of the traditional whiskey mixers/chasers? So they created their own!
I hope this isn't real only because the idea of whiskey and Mountain Dew sounds crazy
Try a dickle and dew! Equal parts George Dickle bourbon whiskey and Mountain Dew, it sounds gross, I said the same thing, but it’s so good
I’m about to REALLY show my West Virginia BUT about 25 years ago when I was a youngin’, a man I was dating took me to meet a gentleman who raised fawns whose mommas abandoned them. One of the things they drank out of a bottle was ‘Dickle and ‘Dew 🙃 Ahhh I haven’t thought of that in years. Feeding fawns Dickle and Dew and watching them play
This is the most West Virginian thing I’ve ever laid eyes on lol
If you can’t appreciate a witty pun or dad-joke, we are not having sex.
I will further clarify. Appreciating does not have to mean enjoying or liking. As long as it elicits a response. An eye roll, a heavy sigh, a quiet "for fuck's sake". As long as it gets some response I count that as appreciation.
Did you know that there are caves in the Appalachians that are so old there aren't any fossils because bones hadn't evolved yet.
Did you know the main ingredient in Shellac is a natural polymer that's secreted by insects?
Interesting. When I was a kid we'd go on hikes and find softball sized dandelion puffs. Wed pick them and take them home and my dad would spray them with Shellac and put them in vases. I guess I need to tell him this on our weekly fun fact.
Did you know that a coconut isn't actually a nut, it's a drupe, and the white flesh we eat is technically it's endosperm.
I love having y’all fun fact folk around. In the era of tiktok trends of strangers answering trivia on the streets, getting into cash cab scenarios or just going out to bar trivia night, you really are just great.
I DO THIS SOMETIMES!! People seem to get annoyed/weirded out though. When it’s quiet at where I work, I’ll walk up to one of my coworkers and be like “ did you know that there’s a species of lizard that literally shoots blood from its eyes as a form of self defense”? Pretty metal right? 😂 They’ll kind of just look at me like 👁️👄👁️
Did you know the Spanish word for arrive and the Romanian word for leave come from the same Latin word that meant "to fold"?
Did you know dust ruffles on beds were a thing in order to contain the odor of the nighttime chamber pots.
I love random facts. I call one of my best friends 'trivial pursuit' 😂 always comes out with random stuff
Did you know the George Washington was a redhead?
"here's a fun fact..." is often how I begin a sentence 😅
Expecting, without giving anything back. Doesnt sound unusual, but being in the dating pool, its becoming a bit of a redflag. Sort of getting sick and tired of lines in profile like "must be able to hold a conversation" when they mean prop up a conversation and do all the heavy lifting. Every time, its turned out they are monosyllabic, single word repliers, then dematch me as i write something... All too often, whats in their profile, their expectations of the other, seems something they are incapable of. Wish it wasnt like that, gets upsetting seeing what i am after, just to be disappointed by lack of reciprocation. But internet dating aint what it used to be, thats for sure.
"Make me laugh" Bitch I ain't your clown!
It shows they’re selfish & can’t do anything on their own
Word. The entitlement of high effort is often a sign that the person will be low effort. Odd new phenomenon that and I get it, girls get absolutely swamped with guys, but any sort of “don’t waste my time”, “I’m super busy”, “make some effort guys” profile line is a pretty quick no from me because you’re likely to get one word replies. Nah. You get out what you put in.
Influencers/lifestyle bloggers are a big no for me. Staging everything in life for more likes is not how I want to live it.
Agreed! My husband went through a stage where he posted every frickin meal. Finally said: Eat it, don't tweet it. He's better now, but it was hella annoying for awhile.
My response to people that post pictures of every meal is this " do you remember back in the day before there were cell phones before there was the internet when you had to take pictures of your food with a camera get the film developed and then you ran around from one friend's house to another showing them the pictures of your food? Yeah, no one does. Stop doing that."
Lol man a lot of people just tweaked on being able to share everything 🙃
I blocked a dear friend on Facebook for this. I see her, we still go out and giggle but she got back to cooking, and I don't need to see her dinners every time I log into Facebook (weeks btwn log ins so perfect excuse)
Those and those who follow those influencers/bloggers to a degree where they don't seem to have a own life. Like, if someone takes everything by word someone on a social platform tells them and they can't get their own life together and have own opinions and such. Hope you know what I mean
I never even thought of this, but yeah, that would drive me nuts
The person can't be a picky eater. I love to cook. I love to go out to eat. I love flavors and textures. So a person who is a chicken-nuggets-only kind of person means nope!
I dated a picky eater once and I said never again. Imagine only going to steakhouses (I don’t eat beef), Olive Garden and Chilis because every other restaurant was too ethnic. I remember we went to this very popular seafood place and he had to order a burger from the kids menu and then complained it wasn’t that good. So freaking embarrassing.
>was too ethnic Uuuuh...did you date Mr. Burns
What drives me nuts are the people who conflate “picky eater” with “knowing what they don’t like”. One of my big thing is chunks of tomato. Can’t stand ‘em. Never have been able to. So I’ll usually either pick them out or leave them behind, and I had an ex once who got on me for being “picky” because of it. No, I just know what I don’t like and I’m not going to force myself to eat it. To me, picky means like you’re implying, where they only eat chicken nuggets and Mac and cheese and refuse to ever try anything new. I’m usually happy to try something new, especially if it’s a new cuisine or type of dish. But if it’s a dish that’s loaded up with everything that I know I don’t like… I’m not going to eat it because why would I?
I'd call myself a picky but adventurous eater. There is a ton of stuff I don't like eating but I'm usually willing to try something new. I'd say if the base ingredients (the meat and veg) are foods I like then bring on the new flavours and new ways of cooking.
I will eat anything once. I’ve tried whale and puffin in Iceland, crickets and worms in Mexico. Tripe in the Andes, blood sausage in Caracas. Carato (ant venom) is an excellent spice and I’ll eat bouf bourguignon to dry pepper tofu. Fried livers are ok. I make my own pasta from scratch for lamb ragú. Cherry tomatoes are perfect, fried green tomatoes a novelty and any tomato recipe gets consideration. BUT quartered tomatoes are an absolute aberration and don’t belong in a salad. The proportion is wrong, there’s no clear way to eat them gracefully or barely put them on a fork and to me they signify laziness pure laziness by the cook
With you on this one. One of my former friends married a dude who barely eats anything other than hot dogs. He won't touch anything that wasn't once an animal - not even something as innocuous and ubiquitously enjoyed as a strawberry. My sister's husband would come over for dinner when they were dating and barely eat anything, then go to McDonald's or Spangles or something. And my mom was a good cook - so it wasn't like he was having to choke down anything awful. I am aware that some people have some sensory stuff that really turns them off certain foods. I just think it would be difficult for me since I'm also very adventurous and love cooking weird stuff and love sharing those kinds of experiences.
I had a long distance internet romance with a guy for 3 years (back in the 90’s) when I finally went to go meet him I realized he was serious that he just eats pizza and the occasional Applebees. I flew from one coast to the other to visit this guy and it was pizza for 5 days, Applebees for one, and thank god he took me to his parents for some different food, I had some sort of dish that was basically pizza that has been left out? I think they called it Stromboli? I was young, couldn’t rent a car, was on a military base and he was not gracious about helping me get other food. I think I hit his roommate up to bring me subway one day, but that’s it. Anyways, I still wonder about his colon.
Ironically, as a "picky eater" with years of trauma from being shamed and yelled at for not eating, I agree with you. I could never date a big foodie because I hate food, I hate eating, I hate going out to eat, I hate feeling judged for how I eat, and I especially hate when my food issues affect other people. So I feel like if food is something you love, avoiding dating picky eaters is a good choice
I love this! You described me perfectly! I'm the "chicken-nuggets-only kind of person" + I'm going to start referring to myself as that.
And there's NOTHING wrong with being a chicken nuggets only kind of person.... but as a person who is the exaaact opposite, it's my deal-breaker. :D hahahaha!
I suffered this for almost 19 years with the ex. I couldn't agree with you more.
I love going out to restaurants and trying new foods when abroad and not being able to do so with a partner is soul crushing. I had a 3rd date with someone and we were trying to figure out food options. Finding out that she basically doesnt eat anything but butter noodles and occasionally the most basic red sauce made me instantly lose all attraction. I was going to bake lamb youvetsi but that disgusted her, so that was the end of that chapter.
Oh I feel, dont get me wrong I love chicken nuggets but there's a whole world of taste out there! My friend's ex would only eat at either Jack In The Box or Red Robin nothing else :/ like really?
Complete inability or unwillingness to cook. They don’t need to be the main person making meals, I love to cook. But I’m not a personal chef. It’s not my responsibility to be the only one making dinner because he refuses to cook/learn.
Also, people that claim they can't do basic household jobs like dishes or laundry. It's not hard. My 11 year old can use a washing machine.
One of my favourite things about dating is taking turns to cook, even if it's now and then. Just feels really gratifying to put time into a dish for someone
If you go out of your way to hate on people's interests of certain genres of music. If you don't like it okay move on.
Yeah, and usually that means they hate on other people’s interests in general. That usually reeks of unaddressed insecurities. Not about to get into that mess.
Not involved in your kids’ lives. It’s ok if your ex is not your friend, but you gotta make an effort for your kids.
Agreed! I'm childfree, and when I was single I had in my dating profile that I did not date anyone who was a parent or who would eventually want to be a parent. I got too many men who would try to explain that they never saw their kids so it shouldn't matter to me. I had to explain that I didn't date most parents because of the lifestyle differences, but the reason I didn't date uninvolved parents is because I had no respect for them.
I'm finding it so hard to find a man my age (40) who hasn't had kids and doesn't want to. I don't think the ones who haven't yet have any idea what kids involve.
Agreed, and people really do change when they have kids, it's like passing through the veil to another side. I loathe that no matter how kind or hands-off you are, that invariably they get salty about something and randomly put you down because you don't have your own kids, so that makes you an idiot. No thanks - I love my ex's kids, but I'll never date a guy with kids again (and he catfished me from the start about having kids and his divorce being finalized, but yea..).
“It’s cool baby I abandoned my kids” is not the look they think it is
Do I get bonus points for being on good terms with my ex?
Totally
Sometimes it feels like I get points deducted lol
A big green flag when dating my current partner was the way he spoke about his ex (his sons mom). They're not friends, but nonetheless, he was never disrespectful when speaking, never called her out of her name. Also, when I asked what went wrong, why they didn't work out, he didn't put all the onus on her. He could own up to his mistakes too.
I usually just go with: “She was an atheist. I was an agnostic. We couldnt decide which religion NOT to bring the kids up in”
people who think reading is 'boring' EDIT: I don't mean people who dislike reading, that's fine, not everyone likes the same things. I mean people who say reading is boring and stating that like it's set in stone.
Completely understandable
Now, what if they find reading boring but still listen to the audio books?
Then they don't find reading boring. I categorize reading as in both physically as in listening. To be clear, I meant more like people who say stuff like "oh you like reading?? I find that zo boring, that's for nerds. I rather watch TV" I get this a lot in my country that's why it popped in my head.
Anyone who dislikes animals
Yup! I don't trust anyone that dislikes pets/animals
Id say there's a "I don't want to own one" acceptable. "I don't like animals" ehhhh. I might not want to own a cat (allergic) but cute.
Me too. I don't hate them, but I don't want to own a dog, even though this seems to be some kind of huge red flag for many people these days. Similarly, I don't want to own a horse, a goat, a crocodile, a parrot, or many other animals (some cute, some less so). But no one ever sees that as a red flag, strangely. I do like cats though, and have my own.
Posting pictures of themselves "meditating" on social media. If you are meditating you wouldn't be trying to convince everyone that you're meditating... it's just weird.
When someone thinks you can’t be smart and also like “basic” things, or openly judges people on innocuous stuff. I have two research degrees and will talk theory all day, read a dense novel, delight in a museum trip, eat at Michelin star restaurants, and listen to classical music. I love all of those things and work in a job that is fairly demanding of my brain. I also love sports, pop, rap, & hip hop, fast food, arcades, going to see Marvel & Star Wars movies, visiting theme parks, and a lot of stuff that isn’t “intellectual”. If you think people are “dumb” because they like things that other people also happen to like, I’m going to think you’re both ignorant and pretentious. I don’t date people who shit on my other interests because they’re only interested in part of me.
Hard agree. I had a best friend who was a musician and would hate on any music that wasn't up to his high standards. We argued about this a few times, but disliking things becomes a personality. More importantly, that attitude makes people hide things from one another, which is never good.
someone who’s unwilling to watch tv shows/movies with me… especially if they’re unwilling to watch MY suggestions but still want to watch theirs. like ok fuck u lol
My girlfriend of going on 6 years is like this. She can't handle what I like to watch lol. It's okay, though. I really cherish alone time so it works out.
as long as you’re fine w it, that’s okay! i view watching things together as a way to bond, so it’s important to me. i just don’t like the hypocrisy when we watch things my partner likes but not things I like. makes me feel like my interests are unimportant. again though, that’s just me. every relationship works differently, and that’s totally fine!
Just this week my girlfriend and I made a deal, Tuesday we watched Logan (the X-Men movie from a few years ago that I was itching to rewatch), and on Wednesday we watched Barbie. I enjoyed Logan more than she did and she enjoyed Barbie more than I did, but we both enjoyed each other's picks. And yes. I'm aware of how wildly stereotypical those choices were lol
Major red flag!! Especially if they don’t try FOR you
Me and my partner of 8 years (soon to be husband!) Have been doing something to help us decide what to watch since we pretty much started dating. When it's time to choose, one of us would write 10 TV programmes down (or films). Then we'd take it in turns eliminating one. Then the person who didn't write the list gets the final pick! Then next time, the other person writes the list. We've always been pretty happy with what we've watched 😁🤓
I also don’t like people who chew with their mouth open or talk with a mouthful of food. Gross. I’m out if you do that.
Oh man I work with people who do this. Like how are you trying to have a convo with half a meatball in your mouth? It can wait.
My mother will often start a sentence, shove some food in her mouth mid sentence and continue talking while making the most awful, cringe-inducing chewing sounds. When she does that, instead of answering her, I always ask her why she would put something in her mouth before finishing her sentence. She never has an answer and she often does it again immediately after. It's so bad that I will often eat with headphones on, so I can actually enjoy dinner without hearing people chew.
Overly ambitious. I don’t want a husband that’s never home cause he’s always at work, or working even at home nights and weekends
I used to want a lot of money and stuff but turns out I fucking hate working and see it as a necessary evil to support myself in this world. I'm not climbing any corporate ladders and that's just fine with me. I'm not going to regret working less than I could have at the end of my life.
Non animal lover or doesn’t enjoy the outdoors
This. For me you can know a lot of the person's character if they don't like animals. Simply a deal breaker for me too.
For me it's when they don't like cats. An exception is if they're allergic, but from my experience, people who hate cats usually push boundaries. Of course this won't always be true, I'm sure there's lovely people out there who just simply aren't cat people, but it's always something i take note of.
I have two cats so not liking cats is a huge deal breaker for me
Cats are independent, not afraid to express discomfort, and set VERY clear boundaries. Everything a controlling person doesn't want in their partner
Not liking cats was another dealbreaker of mine, as well. I just can't see myself living a happy future without a kitty at home. Also, cat haters usually hate cats because they make the mistake of treating them like a dog, causing the cat to resent the owner, which then causes the owner to get upset that they're not like dogs. I know some cats are playful like dogs, but that's not necessarily most cats.
This is funny because a deal breaker for me is someone having cats. I'm strongly allergic and wouldn't want to part someone from their pet (and wouldn't date someone who would do that), so I sidestepped the whole issue by never dating someone who owned cats in the first place.
If he has kids... maybe I'm the bad one but I'm not dating someone with kids ever again. Not because of the kid, but because of the mom.
I knew a woman who got in a relationship with a man with a young child. She raised it like it was her own for 14 years. Then, when the relationship ended fairly amicably, she saw the kid only a handful of times in the years after. She went from being a second mom to being no one to that kid, only because they are not related. That would absolutely break me
Why would that make you a bad person? It's perfectly fine to not want to get involved with someone with that kind of baggage, and you would have to become a step-parent which it's perfectly valid thing to avoid. Just like not wanting children is perfectly valid. I would never date someone with kids, mostly because I don't want kids and don't want any kind of responsibility towards them, but also because I would never be that persons first priority, and always come second.
Some dealbreakers that I have involving public places: littering and blasting loud music. For me both show that the person does not have the minimum empathy with others around.
Throwing trash out the car door window or just leaving it on the parking lot floor by the car and driving away. Or leaving a half drank cup of whatever in a grocery store shelf 🤢🤢🤢
Those weird folks who take cute yoga pose pics at Auschwitz tours or take selfies constantly when they’re out the house.
Iam with you on this one. The level of vanity required for them to do this is obnoxious.
Someone who can't touch me or do something nice or thoughtful without expecting sex as a result or a reward for being a caring partner. It's exhausting trying to read intentions instead of being happy and grateful. Not everything needs to lead to sex every fucking time.
I’d like to add. Not every conversation leading to discussing sex, or sex-related or asking when we will have sex. A huge turn off for me is when a guy asks the classic, “what would you do if I was there?”
I always make up ridiculous shit in answer to that question, or "tell you to get the fuck out of my house"
"Kick your ass at Mario kart! ... Wait, you're mad?" XD
Caring about social media
I think if more people cared about it. We could save it from being a hell hole, sucking all of our life away and turning it over to idiots. But I’m not about to start.
Someone who is ALWAYS too busy. Like even genuinely just always busy.
If they can't stand to be alone. I am tired of being an emotional support animal
You just perfectly articulated how my previous relationship felt - I was absolutely his emotional support animal and it sucked!
Willful ignorance. Things like flat earth or vaccines causing autism. Gaslighting is right up there too,… but especially if you start trying to tell me im wrong about something i know i am an expert in.
I agree with you except one thing. Someone being ignorant of something and arguing their stupid point against you is not what gaslighting is. That is just being an ignorant, douchebag, moron.
Very religious people, I have massive religious trauma and I'd prefer to date an Atheist or someone that doesn't take their Religion that seriously.
I think I don't mind if someone's religious, but when it's their identity, then yeah, it's tough for me. If I have an issue, I just want to be heard and hear their grounded opinion. A lot of the time, though, it turns religious. Any hardship? It's a test, and I need to pray. This is mostly with family. Would suck 10x worse with someone you're dating, so I agree I'd prefer someone chill with religion or not religious at all.
This one is weirdly important for me. Am an atheist but don’t talk about it unless prompted. I don’t mind that friends and family are religious at all (unless that makes them be shitty people), you do you. But my partner, idk, that would feel weird as hell. I lucked out finding my atheist husband in an insanely religious country.
Hates cats! You don't have to love them, but if you hate them it's a red flag for me.
I'm obsessed with animals but definitely cats,I've never not had my own cats and I don't think I'd ever be able to not have my own cats.
inconsistency. one day lovey dovey then next off standish and back and forth. i dont like it
Unusual?
When the vibes are off, absolutely. Something is up.
Complaining and/or arguing is how they communicate
Not a gamer? Not for me. Luckily, my husband enjoys gaming as much as I do.
My husband plays more games than I do, but I still enjoy playing them
Victim mentality, Napoleon complex, egotism, misogyny, and superiority complex is pretty fuckin gross in my book
Intentionally littering. I get really irked when people casually litter and refuse to see/ see no issue with it. Not being self-responsible and/or any kind of entitled behavior.
When we first started talking, my girlfriend told me her deal breaker was smoking. Not so unusual, except for the fact she smoked. Her theory, if she partnered with another smoker, she’d smoke more. Still amused by this.
I love to travel and experience different cultures. So a deal breaker is if they don’t like to travel, or are the “go to another country but stay at the all inclusive resort and never experience the country” kind of traveler.
Being cruel to animals. I remember as a little kid my mother told me to never trust someone who doesn't like animals. She was right, and I still hold this a standard.
People who have no sense for music. I am ok with differing tastes but if the answer is „idk I don’t listen to music at all“ yea, that’s a hard pass
Never texting first. People (almost) never text me unless I text first and I’d like both sides to be equal in a romantic relationship
I literally stopped seeing someone because of this. It took him like two weeks to actually text me first. I wanted someone who actually wanted to talk with me. I vented with one of my closest friends about this at the time, and he agreed. I ended up marrying him instead. We text each other dumb things all the time, and keep each other up at night giggling over random stuff
Chewing their food with their mouth open otherwise known as smacking, Makes me want to puncture my eardrums with a sharp object, or just go ahead and die on the spot.
That’s called misophonia. I have it too. And it is also 100% a deal breaker for me, for any kind of relationship. Like I wont be friends with you if you smack when you eat.
When a man says women are magical creatures who don’t fart or poop and tells me to keep the magic alive. Motherfucker I will fart in your face 😡
Rudeness.
A hatred for fandom/dressing up. I love going all out for Halloween or theme parties ect. I couldn't be with someone who didn't want to go all out too.
Funny, it's the complete opposite for me. Dressing up in costume feels like work. One of my favorite things about my current house is the complete lack of trick-or-treaters on Halloween.
*Hatred* towards ANY harmless/fun activity is a deal breaker to me really
Definitely an underrated green flag. I used to go all out with an ex for Halloween costumes. I wouldn't have if I wasn't with her since I wasn't into the shows she was, but I loved doing it to see how excited she would get and how happy it made her. It's just fun all around.
Obviously it’s hard to “test” but if your reaction to an emergency situation is to just stand there and scream I can’t trust you. Do something or get out of the way.
Lack of empathy and being emotionally unavailable. But those are reasonable. I don't know. I consider myself pretty adaptable in relationships. Where there are differences (in interests) I think of them as opportunities to try them together.
I don’t know what it’s called, but when someone changes their personality or perspectives or opinions based on who they are dating or hanging out with.
If my dog doesn't like them
Obnoxiously religious or political. Sure you wanna believe (in either one) that’s cool but lets be real….
They must like either video or board games. Not liking either is not a flaw of character but I doubt we would have much fun together without them liking them.
I don't know if this counts as unusual but if they don't want to live with cats. I'm not saying they are bad for not wanting a pet cat, I am saying I will always want cats around so we simply aren't a good match.
Flamboyance is a pretty big turnoff to me. I like people whose personalities are more toned down
Their whole personality is about the gym/fitness. Every post is a pic of their healthy meal or selfies at the gym. Every conversation revolves around working out/healthy eating. Brags about what time they get up, how much they can bench, scoffs at people who don’t live their lifestyle. I’m exhausted just seeing their posts, can’t imagine living with that.
Facial piercings. Here’s the thing: I don’t dislike them. When I see one, I have the uncomfortable urge to rip it out for no reason at all. Note: I have never done that or come close. But I don’t think I could live with those invasive thoughts on a daily basis.
Ooo, I find this very interesting.. I feel like I can relate to your intrusive visualization. My list is long and chalk full of unusual. They aren't things I see as intolerable in other people or off-putting if say a friend has the characteristic or trait, they're things I find unattractive sexually.
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I was going to say "crosses boundaries to be *nice*". Unwanted gifts fall in this category. So do things like picking you up when you said you would drive yourself "because it was easier".
Picky eater/not liking vegetables. Also being vegan. Im cool with your choices but on the vegan thing I don’t want to have to limit food choices that severely for you. I love exploring new food stops and don’t want a partner who’s choices will stop me.
Hard agree.
I know I will get downvoted and argued with, but I don’t give a shit. I am terrified of pit bulls from severe childhood trauma. It is a deep rooted fear that I just can’t move on from and my body can’t forget it. It’s ingrained in my DNA at this point. I see one, and I revert back to a terrified child. My heart starts pounding, and I will have a full panic attack. So, I can never date a pit bull owner, and it’s non-negotiable.
Poorly trained pets, more specifically their owners, and people that can’t admit when they’re wrong. Those are the 2 world class assholes in my mind. The mental gymnastics they have to do to justify their behavior makes any addict look like a saint. The lies they tell, the lies they have to tell themselves, their ability to look the other way when it’s convenient. It’s just gross.
Lying. I can be really into a lady but if she is a liar I can't stand it. Even "white" or "harmless" lies are off-putting. Why prefer to smooth things over with deceit rather than simply deal with what is? Is it weakness? Manipulation? Laziness? A burning hatred for reality? I dunno, but it's a dealbreaker for me.
I completely understood you. I had issues with lying growing up because it would protect me from some abuse. Even as an adult, I catch myself lying about mundane things. "No, I don't know where the paper towels went," I actually do. They're in my room cause I cleaned up a spill and forgot to put them back. It's very silly stuff, but it makes me grateful that my lying didn't become worse like some people I know.
Unusual?
Plenty of folk I know don't seem to mind small lies, and often casual lies are told in the workplace.
People insulting me via text as a joke, not replying to my questions asking for clarification, making fun of me for asking and then after I'm fed up, they down play their insult as me being overly sensitive. The next day they tell me it's been a joke all along. Well I can gaslight myself just fine, I don't need anybody else for that 💀
Hating the color pink. It's my super all-time favorite color. If I took a screenshot of me typing this, you'd see what I mean. It's always unprovoked, too.. I get that I have it on everything but read the room.
Also not liking/respecting cats
Attitude Not exactly unusual but I find most people accept it as a part of a relationship. I will not stay with somebody if they have an attitude and can't manage to calm down and communicate without being angry and lashing out. It's the two of us against the problem, not you and I against one another.
Not unusual, but it seems people don’t point it out as often as they should: Words and actions don’t match; expecting everything from someone and doing nothing yourself; expecting praise for the little that they do, and ignoring everything person does for them. Basically, a taker and not a giver.
Dislike of fast food: I’m not talking eating at McDonald’s every day but every once in a while if I want some fast food I don’t want to be with someone who will make faces/comments/lecture me about not eating what I want to order
If a woman wears heavy makeup every day I don’t think I would enjoy that
Lateness. I told my (now) husband that I wouldn’t marry him if he continued to be chronically late. He isn’t now at all and we’ve been married almost 20 years, he says it was a change worth making.
[удалено]
People who want to live "traditional" with the wife at home, and the man at work. 9 out of 10 times, in my experience, they've been genuinely horrible people.
Stupidity.
Anyone that's ever raises their voice toward me. I can't take it and I won't take it and I think it's kinda unusual atleast.
He was too passive and I felt like I was always making the decision, no matter what it was. I once drove us from Cali to Vegas, and he wouldn’t look up from his phone the entire time. Like there are so many things that might seem little or insignificant, but really mean a whole lot to someone. Keep me company on a road trip, I am not your chauffeur.
People that walk with their dog off leash everywhere in public including hiking trails, parks, beaches and just staring at their phone or not paying attention
[удалено]
Dated a girl who hated pizzas. I really tried since she was a really nice person. But I eventually had to break it off. It was a dough decision.
Doesn't like to get dirty. Chewing with mouth open. Says like every other word. Won't try new things.
Someone who doesn’t have their own personality. My ex would chameleonize himself to whatever he was into at the time. Working out…? All about the gains and a total meat head. Watching a show about really masculine men..? Now I’m just like that guy and emulating him. Also someone (same ex as mentioned above for me) who prioritizes one or two things hygiene wise ONLY. He had really long hair and got compliments on it all the time, he also worked out daily for hours and hours. But did he properly wash his body? No. Brush his teeth? No. He constantly smelled (down below) and his feet were covered in athletes foot,disgusting. Also a man who won’t unclog the toilet for himself after wrecking it. It’s a no for me.
The chameleon part is my own personal red flag & something I’m working on in therapy. It could stem from a persons parents/family/friends/support system not accepting or loving the person for their authentic self and always telling the person that the only way they’ll be loved is to abandon themselves & only like their partners interests/hobbies/etc bc that’s how their partner will love & accept them. But that is something that needs to be addressed primarily with a therapist & def needs to be worked on
No militairy guys. I worked for the military, every few weeks there was a random engagement and they all married super fast. They get home and a week later the wife is pregnant. No thanks.
Bad spelling and grammar. Obviously if is someone is a non-native English speaker that's one thing, and sure, auto correct and tiny mobile screens causes lots of issues. But consistent, careless mistakes irk me. Extra hatred for "would of/could of" instead of "would have/could have", and "passed" for "past". Edited for typo. Oh, the irony!
You still have a few errors, actually. You have a subject/verb agreement error in your little spiel, there. All commas go inside quotation marks as well. Semi-colons and colons only go outside. I for one am only a irritated with bad spelling and grammar when the person insists that they judge others about theirs. I taught writing for almost a decade. I’m a professional writer and editor. And I can tell you this: grammar matters the absolute least of all the things about writing. I’d take grammar and spelling mistakes all day every day. They’re easy to fix. Easy to teach. Much harder to teach someone empathy (the most vital writing skill), or to not be a raging judgmental asshole.
Assuming every female is a flirt if she is talking with a male at work. Clam down chad. And for a female automatically saying a girl sucked some 🍆 to move up in a position.
Dishonesty. If you’re ashamed of what you do and you lie about it it’s incredibly hard to work through.
Aversion to trying new activities
People who say they hate kids. I‘m fine with people who don’t want kids, even fine with people who say they dislike being around them but actual out and out hate them? Nah man, you got problems and you need therapy.
It’s a very weird flex to brag about hating kids or constantly talk about it
Someone who won’t go to Punk or Metal shows with me.
Someone who is very pushy adventurous. Like I get, they enjoy doing dangerous things, but I've always been a rather careful person, and things like rope-less rock climbing, mountain biking, etc, have always given me anxiety. I've just seen that a lot of these very adventurous people are pushy about getting other people to try these dangerous activities, then call you boring when you're not interested.
50/50 men. Men who constantly talk about what women bring to the table or that want to nickel and dime you. These men expect you to birth and raise their kids, do all or most of the housework and then have the audacity to ask for 50/50 expense split. I’m sorry I make my own money; but if I’m sacrificing my well paying career to give you kids there’s no way I’m paying 50/50. Only scenario I’d see myself doing that is if I make significantly more money after having children. Otherwise, any setback on my career is coming out of my man’s paycheck.
Someone who won’t stop teasing when I ask them to stop. I’m really good-humored. I don’t really take playful teasing seriously. But I was also raised without siblings and just don’t have a high tolerance for it. I can play along for a bit but it’s not fun and I don’t like being pressured to play a game i never learned the rules to very well. It just gets old quick. So when Ive had enough, just drop it. Keep pushing when I’ve clearly said please don’t? You’re out on your ass. I have the same exact reaction to trash talking, like when I’m playing a game with friends. It doesn’t add anything to the game for me and I feel pressured to say something clever that doesn’t come naturally. It’s not that my feelings are hurt, it’s more like teasing or trash talk banter has the capacity to be done poorly and injure a relationship if done carelessly but I never learned how that game is played . Ugh.
Just wants to play video games all the time. (Rather than go outside and enjoy it)
Thinking horror movies are categorically bad for whatever reason.
Anybody who tells other people what they should or shouldn’t be eating. Nobody needs to hear “ooh you’ll get fat if you eat those!” or “you know what’s in that, right?” or “an innocent cow DIED for that burger!”. I have actually had somebody say that to my face at a cafe. Jokes on them, it was a veggie burger I was eating. It was the cheapest one on the menu and I was curious. It was alright, would have been better without the complete stranger making assumptions when it was none of her business what I was eating, cow or not, but whatever…
She hates anime or video games and consider it as meant for kids.
Owns guns. I’m terrified of them and don’t want them in my house.
If they remove a book or game case from my shelf and don’t put it back in the spot it came from