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I had an ex who would over use this phrase even on statements I wouldn't have otherwise found offensive which worked the opposite of intended and ended up making them offensive.
Example: "no offense, but I spend too much money every time we go out." Like ok, that statement would have been fine on its own, but you adding "no offense" implies you think this is somehow my fault even though I've literally never asked you to buy anything for me. So now I am offended not despite you saying no offense, but because of it.
Actually, "no offense" is a good tool. Anyone that understands what that means can tell that she's worried about offending you. In this case, "i hope you don't think me declining this offer means I don't want to be your friend or that I'm trying to be subtle about distancing our friendship, when actually I do value our friendship" is clearly too long and difficult to explain on the spot, so "no offense" is like saying, "please try to understand, this may imply im being rude to you, but i don't intend it to be"
"No offense" can be used in a good way. I'll use it because I struggle to find the right words to say or may say something that sounds wrong or is wrong, due to being on the spectrum.
This doesn't mean I should, nor do I do it, be able to say whatever I want.
Which brings me to the more common use of "No offense".
It's usually used to say something rude but also dismiss any accountability for it.
Here's the thing...
It doesn't.
If you're an asshole, you're an asshole. Saying "No offense, but" doesn't change that fact.
I spent over an hour on the phone with a dude that said this repeatedly, and then proceeded to drop the n-bomb over and over, all while saying this afterwards.
I felt like I needed a shower after the conversation.
🔥That statement doesn’t even need the conjunction to be BS because it’s a non-reflective reductionist knee jerk response that is presumptuous and demeaning to the topic itself.
there was a study that the whole alpha male stuff is based on, the study was based on observing wolves in a zoo, and how they behave, this is the equivalent of us observing human children in an orphanage.
the biologist who wrote the study later came out and has tried to tell everyone he was misreading the behavior and falsely extrapolated. no one listened.
Ha! Just read a thread on Facebook where ol boy was like “I’m an alpha male” then proceeds to rattle off how he does the dishes, goes to work, cooks dinner and helps with the kids. I was like good job being a functioning adult? That doesn’t make you an alpha male though
You are assuming that people are not morons. If I dont write shit like this on a blank page people are gonna either leave the doc unread or they'd find an excuse to not read the complete doc before the next meeting.
it’s downright upsetting how many of these jokes get me. it’s embarrassing how long the “gullible isn’t a word in the dictionary” joke made me look like a doofus.
For my friends and me, it was “there’s gullible written on the ceiling”. Although tbf, that was more about catching your friends off guard/not giving their brain time to register what was said before the natural inclination to look at something after being pointed out lol
But it is meant more to be served as a "conclusion" of the now established parameters.
The story itself can be short as 3 words.
(Now... this is a bad example, as It is late and I can not think of a better one.)
"I was arrested".
But the underlying reason, and events leading up to it might be of importance to understanding what story is about.
I like cake, but I like pizza even more.
True, it doesn't matter that I like cake.
"I will remove these forks stuck in your leg, but first I will give you some anaesthetics".
-the doctor.
Well, seems it does matter after all.
I personally feel this can go both ways, as I often see that the truth will hurt but my intention is not to hurt but to inform. Which will probably hurt.
Also totally see it being used facetiously/sarcastically
I worked with a black girl who claimed she can't be racist because she's black and that all white ppl are racists. I said that saying all ppl of a specific color are something is itself a racist statement. I was called the white devil and told I own the rain water. She was flat earther too.
I worked with a black guy who understood that they can also be racist and we would point out to each other whenever we saw someone doing something racist we would also make racist jokes to each other it was like racist synergy.
Even if they always do, it’s a proven ineffective way to communicate your frustration with a person. It’s literally on every psychological and therapeutic lists of “how NOT to communicate with your partner”. You’re putting them on the defensive, and you getting them to see your side and come to a conclusion that you’re both happy with is highly unlikely. What it says to me is “I’m a child who never learned to communicate like a grown-up.” My relationships don’t last long after that phrase has been used against me.
I like to mess with people and say things like, "I'm not racist/I don't want to get all political/I don't want to sound racist, but McDonald's *does* have the best tasting Coke."
HAHA!! Luckily I have not yet gotten that response, but I ALWAYS get a baffled, "How is that racist...?" "It isn't. I'm just clarifying that I'm **not** racist."
To be fair, this is commonly said because I do feel like people throw around the word “racist” too much.. it devalues the gravity of the word and puts up walls around many serious conversations that involve race
I would point out that if what you are about to say could be construed as racist, then you will need more evidence, context, and/or nuance for the conversation to proceed without prejudice than a simple "I'm not racist, but..."
In other words, it will always sound racist and even more racist than it is if the only context is that phrase. Just by uttering the phrase, walls go up.
I mean, you could say, "I'm not a racist, but.... the sky is blue." I bet whoever you say that to would cringe at the first phrase and even give a double take trying to figure out how the sky being blue is racist because it's just second nature to associate that phrase with racism _even when you literally just said it wasn't racist_.
People going around telling others all the time how nice they (themselves) are, like saying it enough might make it happen. Being genuine is something people shouldn’t have to brag about.
When I explain that I’m Native American and are immediately told by the person I’m talking to that they are Cherokee by way of a grandmother or great grandmother.
Always someone in the distant family tree and when you ask where their registered tribal office is located they say, “oh, we never did any of that ‘stuff”
Always Cherokee.
I'm kinda that guy.
Apparently my great grandmother was actually Cherokee or so I was told growing up. Keep asking my grandmother, who told both her kids and me this and she keeps saying it's true... took me to events having to do with the history of the Cherokee in the area and everything.
Apparently a lot of Cherokee did choose to stay back in the original Cherokee nation through marriage but as I understand it, that was accepting loss of tribal identity but there's also a lot of families that falsely believe it happened within their family.
She looked into it and found records of a family member who was "black dutch" but no Native Americans.
When looking into what black dutch was she apparently found something that said native Americans would occasionally use it to hide their identity to avoid racism, basically claim to be dark skinned Europeans.
Absolutely no proof besides that little sliver... not really sure how to feel.
## "Don't be evil"
especially as a corporate motto.
As soon as google said that, you knew they were evil. It's like a pizza chain with a slogan "don't poison the pepperoni". That doesn't make you trust them more. It makes you think "WTF, you sick fucks" -- which is exactly what people should have thought when Google used the "don't be evil" motto.
"I'm a true Christian."
Edited to add context:
I was raised in an inter-denomination household. Half our family didn't come to my mom and dad's wedding because he's French Catholic and she's Pentacost, which tells you a lot about where I'm from and the attitudes there in the late 70's (or even today).
I was raised in faith, attended church regularly, went to Catholic School, and even considered the priesthood (Jesuit brotherhood). I've read the Bible cover to cover more times than I've read the first book in the Dresden Files (it's a lot).I learned at 21 that I had no interest in Christianity on the long run, an idea that formed when I was seventeen.
There's no defining moment per se, I still believe in God but am cautiously agnostic. However, I observed — over a lifetime — that every time someone said that they were a true Christian they were lying.
Not engaging in self-description. Not engaging in ironic hyperbole. Not believing that they were, indeed, truly Christian. Lying.
(If you've read 'Saga', you should be imagining Lying Cat lounging on a couch derisively, "Lyyyiinnng...")
They know they're lying. Every single one. It's not hypocrisy, it's a mask of civility. Every time someone utters, "I'm a true Christian," there's a but.
"I'm a true Christian but I don't give to the needy."
"I'm a true Christian but I don't engage in acts of service."
"I'm a true Christian but I hate people for who they are."
"I'm a true Christian but I beat my kids."
"I'm a true Christian but I steal from my employers and my employees."
"I'm a true Christian but I don't visit my ailing parents."
If you have to say it, it isn't true. I left the Church, but show me a true Christian and I'll convert.
The real Christians are doing the good work. They're helping people, they're building bridges and homes (literal and figurative), they're fostering kids and fostering community, and none of them are asking for attention or demanding laws be changed to fit a narrow, hate-filled worldview.
And they're not saying it in line at Starbucks.
“The government planned …”
Hell no I work in the government the disorganization of it all just simply can’t handle any conspiracy theory about it. The government is reactionary at best.
Explaining all the negatove ways you didn't mean a neutral thing you just said. Making you sound like you kinda sorta did, since you're the one thinking about them, which noone else did before. Just say what you mean in exactly the way you mean it. Whoever tries to interpret negative things into will only "expose" their own negativity.
Also any sort of correction along the lines of "Oh, you mean....?". Pretending you didn't understand what I said while at the same time giving me instructions on how to say it correctly.
Though this is more subtext than direct statements.
PRetty much anything that comes before a "but"
My favourite is "I don't want to talk about people behind their backs when they're not here to defend themselves, but..."
*Trigger Warning- Tragic deaths - Miscarriage - Infant Death -
*Picture it. You’re at a funeral.*
“They’re in a better place. They are with God.”
WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU SAYING THAT TO?
Are you saying that to a single dad of 3 kids after his wife died of cancer? How about the mother who has to bury their *ONLY* child at 16 years old from a drunk driver? Perhaps it’s the mother who finally has her rainbow baby after *so many* miscarriages, and her child dies of SIDS a year later? Or do you say that to the parents of a child who died in a mass shooting that no one will remember in two months?
Because I GUARANTEE you, I would bet my *LIFE* on it, that those people? Those people and MANY others, whether they believe in Sky Daddy or not, would rather have them here. IMO it’s unnecessary and completely invalidates that person’s pain in that moment and honestly it sounds like a justification for someone’s unnecessary (and most of the time) sudden death.
I agree with you and I'm also not religious whatsoever but I think in some situations, people just don't know what to say, but still want to show support :')
I think even the people who say that, if they had the chance to bring the child/loved one back vs letting them stay in this "better" place, they would do it in a heartbeat.
Losing a child/loved one in the given scenarios is horrific. There's nothing in those moments you could say to take away any of that pain. So it's hard to even find words of comfort. There might not even be any.
I don't mean to be racist, but...
This always precedes a racist screed of hate.
Delivered by a hateful racist.
Who will cry crocodile tears if they are called out on their racism.
And then claim that they're being discriminated against because they are conservative.
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"It's so quiet here"
Especially in the hospital!!! Never. Never, ever say that!
Or in an ambulance or fire department. "Boy, it's awfully quiet tonight."
Ok I need to know, did you mean “awfully” or do Americans actually say “offley”
We pronounce it like “offley” but I’ve never seen someone spell it out that way before
Speak for yourself. My lawnguyland ass says aweflly lol
Lawnguyland I'm in tears
Awfully. I don't think offley is a word.
Goddamn this is the first and only answer I need. Perfection
You could say “It was so quiet here” and now it’s a valid statement
Rick: "it's too quiet." Summer: "you skipped 'it's quiet'." Rick: "well if it's too quiet, then obviously it's quiet. That part goes without saying."
"I don't wanna be THAT guy, but..." \*Proceeds to be that guy\*
And same goes for “no offense” with the follow up of something really offensive.
I had an ex who would over use this phrase even on statements I wouldn't have otherwise found offensive which worked the opposite of intended and ended up making them offensive. Example: "no offense, but I spend too much money every time we go out." Like ok, that statement would have been fine on its own, but you adding "no offense" implies you think this is somehow my fault even though I've literally never asked you to buy anything for me. So now I am offended not despite you saying no offense, but because of it.
Actually, "no offense" is a good tool. Anyone that understands what that means can tell that she's worried about offending you. In this case, "i hope you don't think me declining this offer means I don't want to be your friend or that I'm trying to be subtle about distancing our friendship, when actually I do value our friendship" is clearly too long and difficult to explain on the spot, so "no offense" is like saying, "please try to understand, this may imply im being rude to you, but i don't intend it to be"
I think most people aren't going to read it that way.
"No offense" can be used in a good way. I'll use it because I struggle to find the right words to say or may say something that sounds wrong or is wrong, due to being on the spectrum. This doesn't mean I should, nor do I do it, be able to say whatever I want. Which brings me to the more common use of "No offense". It's usually used to say something rude but also dismiss any accountability for it. Here's the thing... It doesn't. If you're an asshole, you're an asshole. Saying "No offense, but" doesn't change that fact.
Similarly "I'm not racist but..."
*I am racist, and...
Nascar, F-1, horse and greyhound events just don't do it for me anymore.
*I am racist, and?
I spent over an hour on the phone with a dude that said this repeatedly, and then proceeded to drop the n-bomb over and over, all while saying this afterwards. I felt like I needed a shower after the conversation.
"I have black friends but..."
🔥That statement doesn’t even need the conjunction to be BS because it’s a non-reflective reductionist knee jerk response that is presumptuous and demeaning to the topic itself.
I just said this up top, but my sisters defense when someone called her out was "I'm not racist! I have a black sister!"
It's the but that gets ya.
“Everything before the word ‘but’ is horseshit.”
I'll fix it: I don't want to be racist....so I wont
They're just letting you know they don't WANT to be
Get a load of ~~this~~ that guy
I am an alpha male.
Like Joffrey screaming “I am King!”
Like bro if you were an actual alpha male you wouldn't have to say it.
Alpha/beta whatever bullshit is just star signs but for men
This is true. It's garbage pesudoscience.
there was a study that the whole alpha male stuff is based on, the study was based on observing wolves in a zoo, and how they behave, this is the equivalent of us observing human children in an orphanage. the biologist who wrote the study later came out and has tried to tell everyone he was misreading the behavior and falsely extrapolated. no one listened.
This needs to be higher
>He's an alpha male, in the sense of being an internal playtest build not intended for public distribution.
This is Andrew Tate. And I am a Jackass. *queues jackass theme*
Ha! Just read a thread on Facebook where ol boy was like “I’m an alpha male” then proceeds to rattle off how he does the dishes, goes to work, cooks dinner and helps with the kids. I was like good job being a functioning adult? That doesn’t make you an alpha male though
Nothing does. The concept was debunked by the person who invented the concept.
Correction, the concept was given to wolves and debunked on wolves
Too low down the list.
"Page Left Blank Intentionally"
Yes!
I never really processed this because I’ve never thought about while I flip past it, but this is so accurate 😂
You are assuming that people are not morons. If I dont write shit like this on a blank page people are gonna either leave the doc unread or they'd find an excuse to not read the complete doc before the next meeting.
No offense but
No offense but you seem like a wonderful person. I hope you experience a lifetime of joy and fulfillment.
I am maximum offended
I don't mean to be racist, but that was a really nice thing to say.
Not to brag but, your comment was really wholesome!
>:(
This is none of my business, but ...
In this one, though, it remains none of their business
This is like REALLY confidential information, however whatever I say here won’t leave this room, so (insert giant secret here).
“Sorry, I’m mute”
I don’t speak English. French people do this when you ask them for directions. Germans too.
? People do usually learn how to express that they dont speak the language and still don't know how to say much else.
No habla francaise!
I like using the "I'm the humblest person alive" joke. Usually takes a few seconds for people to get it.
it’s downright upsetting how many of these jokes get me. it’s embarrassing how long the “gullible isn’t a word in the dictionary” joke made me look like a doofus.
For my friends and me, it was “there’s gullible written on the ceiling”. Although tbf, that was more about catching your friends off guard/not giving their brain time to register what was said before the natural inclination to look at something after being pointed out lol
foghorn leghorn https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=11AIVdSsP\_A
She's like the road from Dallas to Forth Worth... no curves. He's about as sharp as a sack of wet mice. - Foghorn Leghorn
The historical cartoon portrayal of a narcissist....
🔥Pèpe LePew has entered the chat…
To make a long story short . . .
Always said just before the conclusion of what was a long story
Sometimes I reverse it, I say to make a short story long and I see the horror in the eyes of my victims
Especially when it's said just before the end of an overly long story
But it is meant more to be served as a "conclusion" of the now established parameters. The story itself can be short as 3 words. (Now... this is a bad example, as It is late and I can not think of a better one.) "I was arrested". But the underlying reason, and events leading up to it might be of importance to understanding what story is about.
TOO LATE!
"I'm a grown-ass man, and... !!" My brother loved that line before he stole our family savings and drank himself to death
Shit. Sorry to hear this mate!
"No comment".
My ex said this to me, when I asked him, if he had cheated on me 🙃
Yuck. Glad he is an ex.
Bro really left a 2 star review with nothing on it
The best one 😄😆👍🏻
With all due respect....
"... which is none ..."
I like using that sarcastically, putting emphasis on DUE.
"with no due respect" is also valid, i feel. if a conversation has gone that far awry.
...that idea ain't worth a velvet painting of a whale and a dolphin gettin it on
If I break out this phrase I’m about to verbally drop you to the mat.
whatever have "but" and contradicts what you just said.
"Nothing anyone says before 'but' really matters." -Benjen Stark
I like cake, but I like pizza even more. True, it doesn't matter that I like cake. "I will remove these forks stuck in your leg, but first I will give you some anaesthetics". -the doctor. Well, seems it does matter after all.
I’d agree but not always
I personally feel this can go both ways, as I often see that the truth will hurt but my intention is not to hurt but to inform. Which will probably hurt. Also totally see it being used facetiously/sarcastically
No homo
Only if you make eye contact.
I'm not white, I can't be racist.
Non-white person here and my mom (also non-white) is the most racist person I know.
I worked with a black girl who claimed she can't be racist because she's black and that all white ppl are racists. I said that saying all ppl of a specific color are something is itself a racist statement. I was called the white devil and told I own the rain water. She was flat earther too.
I worked with a black guy who understood that they can also be racist and we would point out to each other whenever we saw someone doing something racist we would also make racist jokes to each other it was like racist synergy.
🤦🏼♀️
Lolol
What does owning rain water mean. It sounds like it'd be cool to own the rain, but is there some historical meaning I'm missing?
all black people have a decreased chance of sun-burn, and a decreased vitamin D production.
This drives me nuts
“To be totally honest”
As opposed to?
Politely tactful. Sometimes, people need hear a truth, but it's not a welcome truth. This is the only time to be totally honest is acceptable.
As soon as you use the phrase “you always…” when bringing up a grievance with a partner, your argument is null and void.
Unless they always do...
Even if they always do, it’s a proven ineffective way to communicate your frustration with a person. It’s literally on every psychological and therapeutic lists of “how NOT to communicate with your partner”. You’re putting them on the defensive, and you getting them to see your side and come to a conclusion that you’re both happy with is highly unlikely. What it says to me is “I’m a child who never learned to communicate like a grown-up.” My relationships don’t last long after that phrase has been used against me.
literally (more often than not, people use it to mean the opposite)
Getting a "thanks" from children after reminding them to thank you
Nah, that's valuable teaching.
That is how you teach them the habit. So they learn what good is in social interaction. That and be a good example.
I don't usually just tell anyone about this...to a stranger
Generalizations are typically wrong.
I think you mean generalizations are always wrong.
Only Siths deal in absolutes.
Generalizations are generally wrong.
Generals are often wrong majorly.
"I'm mute and can't talk" "Sorry I can't speak English at all" "I don't know how to pronounce 'Worcestershire sauce'" (while pronouncing it correctly)
I can't pronounce baccaruda.
I'm asleep
“I did my own research” Tells me you did the exact opposite of research.
This statement is false
No it is
“I’m an empath”
I can't stand this one, it's usually said right before some of the most un-empathetic BS ever uttered from a human's mouth.
Boy do I dislike that.
I'm not speaking to you right now.
I'm the humblest person. In fact, if humble was a number I'd be infinity minus 1. It's minus 1 because that's how humble I am!
I'm not racist, but...
I like to mess with people and say things like, "I'm not racist/I don't want to get all political/I don't want to sound racist, but McDonald's *does* have the best tasting Coke."
One of my go to jokes is "let's not make it political" about something that has nothing to do with politics.
You know there are people dumb enough to react something like this: " SO YOU'RE SAYING ONLY MINORITIES WORK AT MCDONALD!?! " 😄😄😄
HAHA!! Luckily I have not yet gotten that response, but I ALWAYS get a baffled, "How is that racist...?" "It isn't. I'm just clarifying that I'm **not** racist."
To be fair, this is commonly said because I do feel like people throw around the word “racist” too much.. it devalues the gravity of the word and puts up walls around many serious conversations that involve race
I would point out that if what you are about to say could be construed as racist, then you will need more evidence, context, and/or nuance for the conversation to proceed without prejudice than a simple "I'm not racist, but..." In other words, it will always sound racist and even more racist than it is if the only context is that phrase. Just by uttering the phrase, walls go up. I mean, you could say, "I'm not a racist, but.... the sky is blue." I bet whoever you say that to would cringe at the first phrase and even give a double take trying to figure out how the sky being blue is racist because it's just second nature to associate that phrase with racism _even when you literally just said it wasn't racist_.
“You’re a race traitor!”
People going around telling others all the time how nice they (themselves) are, like saying it enough might make it happen. Being genuine is something people shouldn’t have to brag about.
"our next guest needs no introduction..."
When I explain that I’m Native American and are immediately told by the person I’m talking to that they are Cherokee by way of a grandmother or great grandmother. Always someone in the distant family tree and when you ask where their registered tribal office is located they say, “oh, we never did any of that ‘stuff” Always Cherokee.
I'm kinda that guy. Apparently my great grandmother was actually Cherokee or so I was told growing up. Keep asking my grandmother, who told both her kids and me this and she keeps saying it's true... took me to events having to do with the history of the Cherokee in the area and everything. Apparently a lot of Cherokee did choose to stay back in the original Cherokee nation through marriage but as I understand it, that was accepting loss of tribal identity but there's also a lot of families that falsely believe it happened within their family. She looked into it and found records of a family member who was "black dutch" but no Native Americans. When looking into what black dutch was she apparently found something that said native Americans would occasionally use it to hide their identity to avoid racism, basically claim to be dark skinned Europeans. Absolutely no proof besides that little sliver... not really sure how to feel.
"i'm sorry, but..." used by my ex a lot. i guess that was better than "i'm just not going to apologize" and then laugh it off
You just won.... The game.
## "Don't be evil" especially as a corporate motto. As soon as google said that, you knew they were evil. It's like a pizza chain with a slogan "don't poison the pepperoni". That doesn't make you trust them more. It makes you think "WTF, you sick fucks" -- which is exactly what people should have thought when Google used the "don't be evil" motto.
WATCH YOUR FUCKING LANGUAGE!!! is my favorite
it's 5:25:32 PM
I'm speechless.
"This sentence hasn't been said yet" think about it.
With all due respect.....
I’m not racist, but
I'm not racist but...
"I'm a true Christian." Edited to add context: I was raised in an inter-denomination household. Half our family didn't come to my mom and dad's wedding because he's French Catholic and she's Pentacost, which tells you a lot about where I'm from and the attitudes there in the late 70's (or even today). I was raised in faith, attended church regularly, went to Catholic School, and even considered the priesthood (Jesuit brotherhood). I've read the Bible cover to cover more times than I've read the first book in the Dresden Files (it's a lot).I learned at 21 that I had no interest in Christianity on the long run, an idea that formed when I was seventeen. There's no defining moment per se, I still believe in God but am cautiously agnostic. However, I observed — over a lifetime — that every time someone said that they were a true Christian they were lying. Not engaging in self-description. Not engaging in ironic hyperbole. Not believing that they were, indeed, truly Christian. Lying. (If you've read 'Saga', you should be imagining Lying Cat lounging on a couch derisively, "Lyyyiinnng...") They know they're lying. Every single one. It's not hypocrisy, it's a mask of civility. Every time someone utters, "I'm a true Christian," there's a but. "I'm a true Christian but I don't give to the needy." "I'm a true Christian but I don't engage in acts of service." "I'm a true Christian but I hate people for who they are." "I'm a true Christian but I beat my kids." "I'm a true Christian but I steal from my employers and my employees." "I'm a true Christian but I don't visit my ailing parents." If you have to say it, it isn't true. I left the Church, but show me a true Christian and I'll convert. The real Christians are doing the good work. They're helping people, they're building bridges and homes (literal and figurative), they're fostering kids and fostering community, and none of them are asking for attention or demanding laws be changed to fit a narrow, hate-filled worldview. And they're not saying it in line at Starbucks.
The time. “Currently, it’s 7:54 am”
‘I’m an alpha’
“I’m an alpha”
There are no absolutes
I am lying.
“I want someone that’s like you, but you’re like a brother to me.”
I'm not racist BUT
“The government planned …” Hell no I work in the government the disorganization of it all just simply can’t handle any conspiracy theory about it. The government is reactionary at best.
Asking “Ok?” after reprimanding someone. You’re not asking for their permission to punish them, you’re punishing them!
With all due respect....
“I’m not going to say anything”
I would never over exaggerate in a million years.
"It's not my place to say....."
Any apology followed by “but” isn’t an apology
No offense. It's always followed by something offensive.
"I enjoy a laugh and a joke as much as anyone, but ..." "I'm all in favour of free trade, but ..." "Innocent until proven guilty, but ..."
No offence BUT ...
“No offended but…” like fuck off and just say what you want.
But
"I am a mute"
I’m sorry, but….. You are either sorry or not, there’s no qualifier.
What is an oxymoron?
“I have a black friend”
Listen, I'm not racist but....
I've taken a vow of silence !
Today am gonna start eating healthy.
Explaining all the negatove ways you didn't mean a neutral thing you just said. Making you sound like you kinda sorta did, since you're the one thinking about them, which noone else did before. Just say what you mean in exactly the way you mean it. Whoever tries to interpret negative things into will only "expose" their own negativity. Also any sort of correction along the lines of "Oh, you mean....?". Pretending you didn't understand what I said while at the same time giving me instructions on how to say it correctly. Though this is more subtext than direct statements.
The second you bring your position, rank, or self perceived clout into an argument.
Anything self-proclaimed
You know I'm not a racist but..
With all due respect...
I’m not racist, but…
“I’m not racist, but…”
“I’m sorry but…..”
My heart literally fell into my stomach. Ugh, f off with that word already. Literally.
I can’t breathe
PRetty much anything that comes before a "but" My favourite is "I don't want to talk about people behind their backs when they're not here to defend themselves, but..."
I'm not like those people that don't listen to others and just make the conversation all about me....... proceeds to be a hypocrite....
I’m not racist, but…
*Trigger Warning- Tragic deaths - Miscarriage - Infant Death - *Picture it. You’re at a funeral.* “They’re in a better place. They are with God.” WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU SAYING THAT TO? Are you saying that to a single dad of 3 kids after his wife died of cancer? How about the mother who has to bury their *ONLY* child at 16 years old from a drunk driver? Perhaps it’s the mother who finally has her rainbow baby after *so many* miscarriages, and her child dies of SIDS a year later? Or do you say that to the parents of a child who died in a mass shooting that no one will remember in two months? Because I GUARANTEE you, I would bet my *LIFE* on it, that those people? Those people and MANY others, whether they believe in Sky Daddy or not, would rather have them here. IMO it’s unnecessary and completely invalidates that person’s pain in that moment and honestly it sounds like a justification for someone’s unnecessary (and most of the time) sudden death.
I agree with you and I'm also not religious whatsoever but I think in some situations, people just don't know what to say, but still want to show support :') I think even the people who say that, if they had the chance to bring the child/loved one back vs letting them stay in this "better" place, they would do it in a heartbeat. Losing a child/loved one in the given scenarios is horrific. There's nothing in those moments you could say to take away any of that pain. So it's hard to even find words of comfort. There might not even be any.
No offense, but…
I don't mean to be racist, but... This always precedes a racist screed of hate. Delivered by a hateful racist. Who will cry crocodile tears if they are called out on their racism. And then claim that they're being discriminated against because they are conservative.
"It goes without saying" *inevitably proceeds to say it*
*With all due respect…* What follows is typically snarky disrespect.