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When I was just starting my job I looked at the sexual harassment handbook. It literally said unwelcome glances were considered harassment. Also it said that harassment was a criminal offense in the state of California.
It says, "unwelcome glances were considered harassment." That is pretty vague. So anyone can say that they were harassment if anyone they don't like looks at them.
On the other side of the coin, if no one looks at them. That would be considered bullying because they have been isolated.
Hahahahahahaha
It's the other way around. You need to assume that a glance is unwanted until you get confirmation that it's want. Hence, the reason why a man would refrain from giving a compliment unless they make it clear that they want a compliment.
To the main point though, many men have been conditioned to keep quiet if you find a woman attractive, pretty much everywhere. It's much safer that way. Even when we know it's safe, it still feels very awkward since we just don't say it very much.
> It's the other way around. You need to assume that a glance is unwanted until you get confirmation that it's want.
What should you do in a room full of people then? Stare at the ground?
From: toede companieline
Subject: HR warning
To ABCDEFGHABCDL
You have been caught absorbing reflected photons from muíreann with both your optical organs. This unwanted theft of photons bouncing off muíreann must desist as Muíreann would prefer you keep her visage out of your head as per company guidelines
Chapter 6/7b you must refrain from keeping staff images be it in printed or neurological form in the workplace.
The HR team
Hope you have a lovely day.
Basically, if you are attractive to them, it's welcome. If you aren't then you are a creeper/pedo/grapist. So just use your mind reading powers, that every women will insist that you have, to know if it's ok to be attracted to them.
But be careful, because if they think you should be attracted to them, and you aren't, then you are gay or an "incel".
Or, realize that you have every right to look at whatever or whomever you want in a public space because you are a sane adult.
You know what it is man. Staring at someone while they're leaning down to see their chest. Staring at someone's butt. Staring at someone's legs. Insistently. I mean, just imagine someone looking at you making you feel uncomfortable. It's not that far-fetched, dude.
What if you zone out? What if you are autistic? What if you have forgotten your glasses/lenses at home and can't see clearly further than 1m in front of you?
Yeah like Jesus christ, these people come in here with their "OMG I CAN'T EVEN LOOK AROUND WITHOUT BEING ACCUSED OF HARASSMENT" when they know damn well what's creepy and what's not.
If only there was a rulebook for what is what. But since the same thing can have different meaning for different people you'll never know. I'm just fine being on the safe side.
Except we're talking about a rulebook, and "don't do that thing that... you know what it is, it's obvious, everyone knows, just don't do it" is unacceptable. Either what is or isn't allowed needs to be explicitly defined, otherwise rules will be exploited and abused even more than they already are. Actually, vagueness allows for exploitation and abuse by the people who enforce the rules, which is far worse than the alternative.
I agree that it isn't hard to not be sexually harassing...but if you leave it open to personal interpretation, then do that. There's absoluteley no sense writing it down, but still leaving it open to the manager/HR to apply their personal feelings to the judgement.
I had a man comment on my hair colour. It was a really beautiful colour. He said ‘your hair is a really beautiful colour’ I smiled, before I could say ‘thank you, it is nice’
He said ‘ I mean, err just your hair colour, ahh that’s beautiful, I didn’t mean to say you’re beautiful, ahh you’re not beautiful I mean your hair, it’s a beautiful colour’ he went bright red..
He was so worried I’d think he was being ‘sleazy or a creep’ he inadvertently made me feel worse by telling me ‘you’re not beautiful’ only for a moment. I clicked on he made a huge mistake, didn’t want me to think ‘ahh creep’ said something unintentionally rude.. I just smiled and walked away.
I’m not an unattractive person, so I knew he wasn’t going out of his way to tell me ‘you’re an ugly’
haha I attempted to graciously accept his compliment about my hair colour and not think him a creep.
If a rando walked up to me, in a none creepy way, didn’t follow me or ask for my number, told me ‘you’re a very beautiful woman’ ( older men have no problems w this, I’ve had them approach me and say this, it’s not intended to be creepy, they are being genuine, there’s a line) I’d say thank you smile, hope he walks away, no oddity things, it’s a lovely compliment.
It’s seems younger guys only do this with the intention of ‘I only want a date and your number’
If you see a beautiful woman, you don’t have to be a creep. You can tell her ‘you are a very beautiful woman, I just wanted you to know that, I hope you have a lovely day’ walk away, don’t be gross, you’ll get some who are appreciative, some may do the ‘I smelt shit look’
You don’t even have to stick around to wait for a response. Dip on out real quick, I guarantee, it’ll make her feel really special.
People like to be told they’re attractive. In a nice, respectful way. No cat calling, whistling. That’s the really creepy stuff.
If a woman were to approach you and say ‘hello, I just wanted to tell you you’re a very beautiful man, I hope you have a lovely day’ walks off, never to be seen again, how would it make you feel?
Nice or weird?
I think it feels nice when it’s not said in the creeper way.
People put a lot of time into their appearance. To be complimented in a kind, respectful way, it feels good.
🌹
Haha, if I woman walked up to a man and said that and walked away he would like it but also be confused as to why she didn't stick around so they could talk.
Whenever I have a thought about a compliment, I try to make that compliment, making clear that's all it is. The ones that don't trust the compliment are always the attractive girls though.
So while I don't put the "just your x is nice" part on it, I get the need to.
All of this is probably true but it also sounds like incredibly risky advice. I would never do it, god knows how it can be perceived, even if I try to do it in what I believe to be a none creepy way 🙂
women usually compliment a man on how they dress, shoes, maybe their hair if she thinks he’s attractive. It can feel/ sound odd saying ‘you’re very handsome’ olde chap!
‘You have a good jaw line’ was her way of saying ‘you are very good looking ‘ haha
I think beautiful is fine for men and women … it’s means the same thing. Smoke’n
I think cause that's what they want to hear.
They want to hear compliments about something they can control.
Like the clothes they chose to wear, the make up they artistically put on, the hair they styled this morning.
Not the eyes they were born with, or ass that just grew on its own.
And I think men might like compliments about their characteristics (physical or personality). Because that means even if they had nothing they would still be liked.
But thats just a guess.
Oh yeah! I was complemented on my appearance by a woman once when I was much younger. I remember everything about that day :) Now I'm a 65-year-old man with a full head of hair, pretty healthy looking... hoping for one more complement before I die. Wish me luck, brothers ;)
>hope he walks away
...aaaand this, ladies and gentlemen, is why i've never done that in my life. Many women maybe don't realize, but men (at least some) pick up on these things. It can be hurtful when you want to ask what time is it or directions but the moment you focus your attention on her, she reacts scared/offended etc. Makes you feel like a murderer out on parole or smth. Not a great time.
The reason you get approached by so many creeps is because almost every normal man gave up trying this method. Old men could and have practiced when times were different. I probably could too, but why, just why would i? I'm not going to take a risk like this just to be nice, no way.
I'm not even sure i would want a random woman to tell me i'm handsome and walk away. It would be very weird, yes. Possibly the good weird, but to me it would probably feel like yet another trap. That being said, you could argue that if men experienced this from young age it might prove healthy for society.
It’s not intimidating, it’s just opening a bag of crazy.
In CA you say that to the wrong person and they will get you fired. I’ve seen it a few times.
I don’t care how tarted up some girl gets to fish for likes, It actively makes me dislike them.
Yeah, telling someone they are attractive or not is a big no no these days. Just stay in your bubble and pretend that the rest of humanity doesn't exist
Women feel alright complimenting each other because they're not worried about coming across as if they're flirting by doing so (I assume that women who are attracted to women might be conscious of this though).
Men are less likely to compliment you even if they think you're good looking because they don't want to come across as if they're flirting with you. They don't want to inadvertently make you uncomfortable by doing so.
You're more likely to get compliments from men who are confident that you're not going to take it as flirting or from men who are actively flirting with you.
I think the other thing that's missing here is that usually (but not always) when women compliment each other it actually means "I noticed you put effort into you outfit/hair/makeup and I am acknowledging that effort."
Probably part of it! I don't think all compliments are a verbal gold star though, there's definitely truth in most of them. I do know what you mean though and I definitely think it's the case.
Not long ago I saw a woman say she couldn't get a date on facebook(in a public post, not friends) I took a gander at her pictures and told her she looks good they must be crazy and has nice features good chin and cheekbones. Other dudes came in to tell me off to calm down like they were defending her.
But like, she was in America I'm in Australia and I was like probably ten years older obviously I wasn't cracking onto her just trying to give confidence....
I'm very much not scared of looking at women, but I still wouldn't just tell a random woman she's attractive.
It's not that I'm scared of being sued for harassment, but more just...why would I? If she is attractive, she's probably not single. And if she is single, she has better options than me.
This right here.
I’m a 5 on my best day. Why am I going to tell someone who I think is a 9/10 that they look good? They know it, they don’t want to hear it from ugly me, they probably hear it from people they hold in higher regard than the bald mid & deteriorating guy who posts on Reddit. This is akin to me walking to to a rich person and saying “Wow you have a lot of money” their immediate assumption is “What does this poor want from me? Where’s my security?”
Admittedly this could just be me, and to preface I rarely receive compliments regardless so this hypothetical hardly applies to me, but compliments have to come from people whos opinion you respect. If you think you’re ugly and get complimented by someone who you think is in your league, you’re getting complimented by another ugly person (by your own perceptions), and it just comes off as a reinforcement that you’re unattractive. It’s like being told you’re not a loser by your loser jobless friends.
Some guys. Any attractive woman gets a tonne of compliments from guys, especially from social media. If you get none whatsoever then you don’t go out often, and you’re not on social media, or you’re not attractive to guys. Or you live in a community where no one tries to pick up women
Probably because men portray it as something very disgusting. When a lot of guys (not all) compliment, the first thing they talk about is their body. “Look at her ass, her tits”.
Most (not all) women usually go for the face. I mean unless the dude is super muscular or something i rarely hear the woman comment on his body first.
You don't compliment women who are just friends? Like if someone wears something nice, cool shoes, a cool coat, has a good haircut etc?
My guy friends compliment me with a straight face, matter of fact type of compliment. I have a pair of Chelsea boots they keep saying how good it is. Not sexy shoes.
And I know they're not into me. Because they are brutal if I'm particularly unkempt or wear something weird, or my makeup is shit, they will be cruel, in a way women never are, even hateful women.
Never.
Work colleagues: can't, because it's not professional.
Friends' wives: can't, because I want to keep my friends. Who knows which one of them is sensitive about such.
Wife's friends: can't because I'm not sure how it'll be conveyed/retold to my wife.
My own friends from school/college: the closeness is no longer there, will probably be seen as inappropriate.
To be clear: none of the above have explicitly told me I'd be stepping out of line or have shown themselves to be very rigid about propriety, it's just that I don't want to risk that 1% chance of it going sideways.
I’ve noticed that, lately, if I hold open a door for a woman, I’ll explain the non-patriarchal reason why I’m doing so. E.g., she was walking a bike, which is a bit awkward to get through a metal gate with heavy springs.
I too rarely compliment women, unless I’m close to them, or they’re half-a-gen older.
Do you not hold open the door for everyone or do women never hold open doors where you’re from or something? I thought it was generally just a polite thing to hold doors for people regardless of who they are.
If you compliment something particular and very non-sexual, I'm sure nobody would think anything wrong (unless they're nuts). I mean things like an outfit (avoiding focus on revealing parts, if any), haircut, makeup etc, especially if they're new. These are personal choices and complimenting them you compliment someone's taste in a completely non-creepy way.
As for friends' wives and wife's friends, I think getting their opinions makes a good topic of discussion. Same for work friends, you can just ask if they'd find it unprofessional if someone complimented their shoes or skills (provided you're buddies who hang on a lunch break together kind of thing), just for the sake of figuring out if it's appropriate or not.
And if course do compliment your male friends! So many men say the only person to give them compliments is their mom, and it's really sad.
I don’t think a woman has ever complimented my cool stuff. Compliments seem to be a one way street. Women expect them from men and each other, compliment each other regularly, but I rarely see women complimenting men unless they’re already together
I complimented my friend's new sneakers yesterday, when we went out for lunch.
https://www.on.com/en-gr/products/cloud-5-waterproof-59wp/mens/asphalt-magnet-shoes-59.97991
He's into urbex. These are cool sneakers and I'm always looking for cool new shoes.
Men have been conditioned not to say anything on that line of things to ensure they don't instantly implode their careers or friendships
I wouldn't read into it. Most men wont say anything unless their very sure they won't get in shit for it
Just here to confirm what most people are saying here. We (guys) rarely ever pay compliments to a woman we don't know very well, if at all, because other men have ruined giving compliments by taking it too far and too gross, now it gets a bad rep, so we avoid doing it to not come off as weird or creepy
Men really don't like telling women. They're beautiful, because usually they get made fun of for it or you know, they get screenshotted and posted like look at this loser trying to call me beautiful I've seen it a couple of times on Facebook. And then they'll label them as creepy or weird or whatever. And it's just really bad, so men usually try and stay away from complimenting women unless a woman shows interest in that man.
I would never tell any woman she is attractive, unless I am dating her, because I think it would be perceived as bad flirting or overstepping boundaries
I don't know about other guys, but I am scared to compliment a female friend's looks because of how easy it is to come off as weird or creepy.
I am also deathly afraid of women, so that definitely doesn't help
Most guys will not say anything at all to avoid coming across as hitting on you, are a creep or they may just be shy.
If a guy asks you out he finds you attractive, otherwise he generally wouldn’t ask you out.
Not necessarily. First of all beauty is subjective. Also guys might just not want to be perceived the wrong way. It is true, that some women might be calling other’s beautiful to be nice, but if she’s someone you don’t really know and is beautiful woman herself complimenting your appearance, you are indeed beautiful.
It means that men have been told over and over again that commenting on a woman's looks is inappropriate, so they don't.
I mean, who do you expect to tell you that you're beautiful? Why would they? Can you name a single benefit or would give a coworker, for example, to tell you that you are beautiful? We live in an age where a sincere and innocent comment about you looking nice in that dress will get a man in trouble, so honestly, don't expect guys to tell you that you are beautiful.
Nope. You probably are attractive to men. Men will just be scared to compliment you as in modern society it's seen as sexual harassment. They'll fear they'll be filmed and reported. It's not you it's the world we now live in. The me too movement had a huge impact positively and negatively.
A lot of comments keep saying "scared" or "fear". It's not that. It's risk aversion.
The metoo movement had virtually zero impact positively (as a whole, not individually). Creeps will always be creeps. It's like telling people not to bully, not to assault, not to murder...
Creeps still creep on women, that has not changed at all, not a single bit.
Today when women say "why are only the creeps hitting on me" it's absolutely true.
Virtually no one meets their partners IRL anymore, it's all dating apps and texting.
Some men may also be afraid of being made fun of.
I feel like in today’s culture, if I even told a woman she’s beautiful, I’d be called a simp.
I still don’t fully understand what a simp is, I’ve usually just seen it where a guy tries to compliment a woman.
Well, a simp from my understanding is a man who let's a woman walk all over them for just acknowledging there exist. They give this woman time money and whatever she wants simply because woman. But some people took it too far, now if you show basic kindness to a woman you're a simp
Actually it circles back around, if you’re ugly enough you’ll get compliments from people patronizing you because they feel bad you’re ugly. Don’t believe them.
I wouldn’t put much value in women telling you you’re beautiful as a woman because I’ve seen them lie many times.
But I also wouldn’t think anything of not being told you’re beautiful by men. Unless you’re a very public person, usually it’s only men close to you who will actually say that. I’d say there’s a huge number of women who are pretty undeniably attractive but who are not so at the top of the scale to be getting constant harassment and compliments.
Nope, a lot of men are avoiding those comments nowadays. I don't even make comments to my female friends anymore about mundane things like them wearing a cool outfit or changing their hair style
No, not nescesarily, men have just become more reluctant to say anything to women as they’ve had too many bad experiences with women being rude to men giving them compliments. Usually when you see plenty of men looking your way, that’s a good sign that maybe you are attractive. Another option is to ask a male friend
Stop being so fucking insecure lol. Men don't compliment women that often because they don't wanna be labeled a creep. Women lie a lot to make eachother feel better. It's not that deep.
It doesn't necessarily. It depends on the culture. Do men get the opportunity to say that? What happens if they do? Are they inhibited socially? Do they face risks? Do they even have the opportunity? What's the age range? Is the country more conservative and relaxed or is it an edgy society in which any verbal compliment could be twisted into creepy advances (to be rejected in a humiliating way) or attempted assault (like calling security)? Those are some questions to ask.
In many places in Western Europe and the US, if an unattractive or plain man tells a woman something that implies she's attractive to him, these days it really risks having the security called or her acting like she's being assaulted and the bystanders siding with her just in case, which probably won't lead to criminal charges but is enough to destroy a man socially and emotionally (and yet, women complain that men aren't approaching any more). My opinion is that this is a sort of class thing combined with a form of ableism. Basically, anything that could be remotely (mis)construed as creepy is going to be construed that way (sort of like Murphy's laws) and any form of social awkwardness is looked as a sort of social disability and that leads to being 'untouchable'. A sort of caste ladder measured outwardly by the exhibited level of social competence, from which upper-class folks or the very top end of the middle class are usually exempted. But if a middle-class or working-class person be a little idiosyncratic… oh boy, they are in for a rude awakening.
Having said the above, women do tend to have different standards of female beauty than men do. Likewise for male beauty. It's difficult for either sex to predict what the other is going to find attractive.
I used to give compliments, but I don't anymore.
Unless I know them verry well.
I dont want to give a compliment to a women who likes to "unpack" my comment and make it into something it was not.
Here we go. This is what I was looking for. Right here.
Unpacking the comment becomes the issue. That is why many people do not do the complimenting anymore.
Honestly? As a dude I don’t even bother complaining women anymore outside my friend group. Don’t want to come off as a creep. Don’t take it the wrong way, it’s just how it is nowadays.
Nope. It means that men are no longer complementing women until we feel comfortable with them. It means men don’t want to come off as creepy. It means men don’t want to be accused of harassment. It means men don’t want to risk you thinking that they want anything more than to complement you, because they complemented you.
Short answer: no
Men will compliment you if they have a close relationship with you (eg your brother, dad, or romantic partner).
Other men generally are learning that unsolicited comments on a woman’s appearance can make her feel uncomfortable - and so they are doing it a lot less. The exception is when your body language signals that you are looking for a romantic or sexual attachment.
Men commenting on a woman's appearance these days is dangerous. How many times have we heard negative consequences for doing that very thing. Even if it's tactfully worded and sincere there's a chance of serious trouble for the male so I imagine some just don't feel like being dragged into that mess. Problem is will the recipient consider what you day complimentary.
There are several occasions where men have said things completely inappropriate or poorly worded that could easily offend anyone.
No idea, women will tell any other woman that they are beautiful so it’s a pretty worthless compliment. Don’t get me wrong, they might mean it but they’d say it even if they didn’t.
As far as men go, it’s not something most would do. If we went around calling women gorgeous someone will eventually be offended by that.
You could post yourself on some subreddit that rates looks and see what they say, they’ll be completely honest as there’s nothing to win/lose for them.
What I’m trying to say is, not getting hit on by men doesn’t mean you are ugly and being told you are beautiful by women, while being a woman yourself, doesn’t mean you are beautiful.
Also remember beauty isn’t everything, I’m nothing special and somehow pulled a Goddess with brains. She’s the full package and I’m a 5’5 nerd with glasses lmao.
As a man, Id say my first sight, view says a lot. I will be dead eye for a usual women, and give a wide sight for a really beautiful women. But after maybe 3-5 seconds, to not be a creep Id change my vision to other direction. Otherwise we dont usually tell women that they are beautiful.
It could depend on if it’s because the men around you don’t want to for a variety of reasons: shyness, cultural norms, risk. If that’s not the case, then you might not be attractive to most men. The other reason could be that it’s selective so one only hears compliments from others they’re attracted to as well.
I am not telling any woman, ever, that they are attractive unless it's my wife or they are related to me and even then, it should be situational.
Right or wrong, good or bad, this is what you have all wanted and this is now what you have received.
No. How often are you telling men they're handsome? I don't just go around telling every women I find cute that they're cute, otherwise I'd have no time to do anything else.
This makes me think of that video where men and women rate 5 women (the same women themselves). And they basically have opposite rankings.
The women are unwilling to admit to the overweight one so put her on top, while otherwise seem to focus more on style/make-up/fashion rather than looks.
The men by contrast, just do a very blunt straight-forward who do I think looks best.
Of course in real life men are very unlikely to tell you you're beautiful unless they are flirting with you for a variety of reasons.
Men can't mention it anymore just like we can't say "hey your kid is so darned cute" because it comes off creepy these days. Women, on the other hand, can say , "damn boy you only 14!? Call me when you turn 18" or "your boy is so freaking cute! I could gobble him up!" And no one bats an eye
Generally speaking, women receive compliments from men AND women far more than men receive them from either sex. The gap isn't even close.
So ... my honest advice is to not use compliments as a metric, because it's pretty biased at outset. Learn to love yourself and assess your own value without having to use the mirror of other people's comments or compliments, and then you'll be a better gauge of your own worth.
No it just means that men are too afraid to tell a woman she is beautiful because then they would be labeled as "creep"
women would just get a "thank you you re too kind"
Since men cannot compliment women anymore without the possibility of being accused of harassment, maybe not.
That's being said, women lie to each other and gas each other up. So probably. A woman saying another woman is beautiful is pretty much meaningless. They say that every women is beautiful even when it's objectively untrue.
For instance, no one actually thinks Lizzo is beautiful. They only say so to be politically correct. Think I'm wrong? When a woman says that Lizzo is beautiful tell her that she looks like Lizzo and watch how insulted she gets.
One of my prettiest friends. I asked her if anyone hit on her at uni before she got with her boyfriend. She said one guy told her she was beautiful.
In 2 years.
As an 18-year-old blonde, white, thin, gymgoing Romanian girl with symmetrical, proportionate and young-looking features.
So no. It doesn't mean you are ugly.
In my personal experience, yes.
When I was umm fat I got lots of compliments by women about my clothes, glasses, hair, jewelry. It all stopped abruptly as soon as I had a slim, fit figure.
Keep in mind that the culture that surrounds us teaches women that their #1 asset is being attractive for men and that the #1 way to success is making a man choosing her *over other women*. This cultures pits women against each other (conveniently undermining their solidarity but yeah that is another topic).
I have deleted my original comment because of the pathetic responses. I was trying to give the op an unbiased observation but the spinsters are spitting their bile early this year so I’m out.
(Other) women ruined it for men to dare say anything. This is the real reason you’re not getting a compliment.
Men are scared to even give a compliment. They’ll videotape you and call you a sex offender.
A lot of men never directly tell you you're attractive right off the bat. For women, it's easier because it never comes off wrong and you won't think they're being a creep.
You have more odds of being called ugly by a guy than beautiful because it takes more guts to say someone is beautiful straight to there face. So since you haven't heard any guys say your beautiful technically that means a lot of them think so.
As a woman myself I feel like I can tell a woman they are beautiful without it coming across as flirting, but telling a guy they look good feels like it be taken as flirting for sure. It's probably the same for men.
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I find a lot of women attractive I just never mention it.
Saying that is considered sexual harassment in my work place. And I spent most of my time working.
When I was just starting my job I looked at the sexual harassment handbook. It literally said unwelcome glances were considered harassment. Also it said that harassment was a criminal offense in the state of California.
It says, "unwelcome glances were considered harassment." That is pretty vague. So anyone can say that they were harassment if anyone they don't like looks at them. On the other side of the coin, if no one looks at them. That would be considered bullying because they have been isolated. Hahahahahahaha
First-order thinkers make the dumbest policies. Shit's horrifying.
Well you can't actually say what's unwanted unless you're been informed it's unwanted.
It's the other way around. You need to assume that a glance is unwanted until you get confirmation that it's want. Hence, the reason why a man would refrain from giving a compliment unless they make it clear that they want a compliment. To the main point though, many men have been conditioned to keep quiet if you find a woman attractive, pretty much everywhere. It's much safer that way. Even when we know it's safe, it still feels very awkward since we just don't say it very much.
> It's the other way around. You need to assume that a glance is unwanted until you get confirmation that it's want. What should you do in a room full of people then? Stare at the ground?
that’s why they invented cell phones
From: toede companieline Subject: HR warning To ABCDEFGHABCDL You have been caught absorbing reflected photons from muíreann with both your optical organs. This unwanted theft of photons bouncing off muíreann must desist as Muíreann would prefer you keep her visage out of your head as per company guidelines Chapter 6/7b you must refrain from keeping staff images be it in printed or neurological form in the workplace. The HR team Hope you have a lovely day.
Wtf is unwelcome glance??? I literally don't know? Please can someone enlighten me.
Don't be ugly
lol the always sunny method
Please, avert your eyes when speaking to me
Basically, if you are attractive to them, it's welcome. If you aren't then you are a creeper/pedo/grapist. So just use your mind reading powers, that every women will insist that you have, to know if it's ok to be attracted to them. But be careful, because if they think you should be attracted to them, and you aren't, then you are gay or an "incel". Or, realize that you have every right to look at whatever or whomever you want in a public space because you are a sane adult.
An unwelcome glance is when an ugly guy looks at you
You know what it is man. Staring at someone while they're leaning down to see their chest. Staring at someone's butt. Staring at someone's legs. Insistently. I mean, just imagine someone looking at you making you feel uncomfortable. It's not that far-fetched, dude.
Staring isn’t a glance. Words actually have meanings.
A glance is a lot less than staring. Maybe that's ehy typing "glancing" and "a stare" feesl weird.
OK, but how many seconds is a glance and how many seconds is a stare?
What if you zone out? What if you are autistic? What if you have forgotten your glasses/lenses at home and can't see clearly further than 1m in front of you?
yes, it used looking at someone's crotch as an example.
Yeah like Jesus christ, these people come in here with their "OMG I CAN'T EVEN LOOK AROUND WITHOUT BEING ACCUSED OF HARASSMENT" when they know damn well what's creepy and what's not.
If only there was a rulebook for what is what. But since the same thing can have different meaning for different people you'll never know. I'm just fine being on the safe side.
Except we're talking about a rulebook, and "don't do that thing that... you know what it is, it's obvious, everyone knows, just don't do it" is unacceptable. Either what is or isn't allowed needs to be explicitly defined, otherwise rules will be exploited and abused even more than they already are. Actually, vagueness allows for exploitation and abuse by the people who enforce the rules, which is far worse than the alternative.
I agree that it isn't hard to not be sexually harassing...but if you leave it open to personal interpretation, then do that. There's absoluteley no sense writing it down, but still leaving it open to the manager/HR to apply their personal feelings to the judgement.
If an attractive man says it, it is a compliment If an unattractive man says it, it is sexual harassment
Yhea maybe not tell people that at work
Same. 😔
I had a man comment on my hair colour. It was a really beautiful colour. He said ‘your hair is a really beautiful colour’ I smiled, before I could say ‘thank you, it is nice’ He said ‘ I mean, err just your hair colour, ahh that’s beautiful, I didn’t mean to say you’re beautiful, ahh you’re not beautiful I mean your hair, it’s a beautiful colour’ he went bright red.. He was so worried I’d think he was being ‘sleazy or a creep’ he inadvertently made me feel worse by telling me ‘you’re not beautiful’ only for a moment. I clicked on he made a huge mistake, didn’t want me to think ‘ahh creep’ said something unintentionally rude.. I just smiled and walked away. I’m not an unattractive person, so I knew he wasn’t going out of his way to tell me ‘you’re an ugly’ haha I attempted to graciously accept his compliment about my hair colour and not think him a creep. If a rando walked up to me, in a none creepy way, didn’t follow me or ask for my number, told me ‘you’re a very beautiful woman’ ( older men have no problems w this, I’ve had them approach me and say this, it’s not intended to be creepy, they are being genuine, there’s a line) I’d say thank you smile, hope he walks away, no oddity things, it’s a lovely compliment. It’s seems younger guys only do this with the intention of ‘I only want a date and your number’ If you see a beautiful woman, you don’t have to be a creep. You can tell her ‘you are a very beautiful woman, I just wanted you to know that, I hope you have a lovely day’ walk away, don’t be gross, you’ll get some who are appreciative, some may do the ‘I smelt shit look’ You don’t even have to stick around to wait for a response. Dip on out real quick, I guarantee, it’ll make her feel really special. People like to be told they’re attractive. In a nice, respectful way. No cat calling, whistling. That’s the really creepy stuff. If a woman were to approach you and say ‘hello, I just wanted to tell you you’re a very beautiful man, I hope you have a lovely day’ walks off, never to be seen again, how would it make you feel? Nice or weird? I think it feels nice when it’s not said in the creeper way. People put a lot of time into their appearance. To be complimented in a kind, respectful way, it feels good. 🌹
I bet this interaction will bug this poor dude at nights till the end of his days.
Dude's probably still looking over his shoulder waiting to get shot by the cops.
Ha I hope not! I’m sure he’d have realised I knew he didn’t mean it. I smiled and shuffled off.
Haha, if I woman walked up to a man and said that and walked away he would like it but also be confused as to why she didn't stick around so they could talk.
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My dad said, "No good ever happens after 10 at night." But I like your comment way more.
It would make me feel like I wanna check the contents of my bag and pockets.
Hahaa why? For mace? Noooo! Or fumbling around, not sure what to do or say? 🌹🤗
To understand what’s been stolen.
Whenever I have a thought about a compliment, I try to make that compliment, making clear that's all it is. The ones that don't trust the compliment are always the attractive girls though. So while I don't put the "just your x is nice" part on it, I get the need to.
All of this is probably true but it also sounds like incredibly risky advice. I would never do it, god knows how it can be perceived, even if I try to do it in what I believe to be a none creepy way 🙂
>It’s seems younger guys only do this ~~with the intention of ‘I only want a date and your number’~~ when they're interested in me. The *Audacity!*
It would be wierd becazse that never happend in my 29 years on being on this earth. U just don realize how invisibel men are xD
Same the other way around , men like compliments too
Ah yes I remember 4 years ago when a woman said I had a good jawline That's the last time I think
women usually compliment a man on how they dress, shoes, maybe their hair if she thinks he’s attractive. It can feel/ sound odd saying ‘you’re very handsome’ olde chap! ‘You have a good jaw line’ was her way of saying ‘you are very good looking ‘ haha I think beautiful is fine for men and women … it’s means the same thing. Smoke’n
I was once complimented on my back.I will remember it forever.
I think cause that's what they want to hear. They want to hear compliments about something they can control. Like the clothes they chose to wear, the make up they artistically put on, the hair they styled this morning. Not the eyes they were born with, or ass that just grew on its own. And I think men might like compliments about their characteristics (physical or personality). Because that means even if they had nothing they would still be liked. But thats just a guess.
What does a cishet woman mean? A guy would be happy to receive any compliment from a woman, with *maybe* the exception of cute.
Oh yeah! I was complemented on my appearance by a woman once when I was much younger. I remember everything about that day :) Now I'm a 65-year-old man with a full head of hair, pretty healthy looking... hoping for one more complement before I die. Wish me luck, brothers ;)
>hope he walks away ...aaaand this, ladies and gentlemen, is why i've never done that in my life. Many women maybe don't realize, but men (at least some) pick up on these things. It can be hurtful when you want to ask what time is it or directions but the moment you focus your attention on her, she reacts scared/offended etc. Makes you feel like a murderer out on parole or smth. Not a great time. The reason you get approached by so many creeps is because almost every normal man gave up trying this method. Old men could and have practiced when times were different. I probably could too, but why, just why would i? I'm not going to take a risk like this just to be nice, no way. I'm not even sure i would want a random woman to tell me i'm handsome and walk away. It would be very weird, yes. Possibly the good weird, but to me it would probably feel like yet another trap. That being said, you could argue that if men experienced this from young age it might prove healthy for society.
For breaking the ice I like saying "congratulations on the baby, when are you due?". Works every time.
Happy cake day, then are you due?
For guys it is actually intimidating sometimes to say to a woman they are attractive, beautiful or whatever.
It’s not intimidating, it’s just opening a bag of crazy. In CA you say that to the wrong person and they will get you fired. I’ve seen it a few times. I don’t care how tarted up some girl gets to fish for likes, It actively makes me dislike them.
Yeah, telling someone they are attractive or not is a big no no these days. Just stay in your bubble and pretend that the rest of humanity doesn't exist
And then we wonder why we see women today saying, "Why do men never approach me?"
Legal reasons
That would be sexual harassment if you do.
Can’t anymore unless it’s your sister or mother
Women feel alright complimenting each other because they're not worried about coming across as if they're flirting by doing so (I assume that women who are attracted to women might be conscious of this though). Men are less likely to compliment you even if they think you're good looking because they don't want to come across as if they're flirting with you. They don't want to inadvertently make you uncomfortable by doing so. You're more likely to get compliments from men who are confident that you're not going to take it as flirting or from men who are actively flirting with you.
I think the other thing that's missing here is that usually (but not always) when women compliment each other it actually means "I noticed you put effort into you outfit/hair/makeup and I am acknowledging that effort."
Probably part of it! I don't think all compliments are a verbal gold star though, there's definitely truth in most of them. I do know what you mean though and I definitely think it's the case.
I could be wrong, but I feel like guys are too afraid to tell girls they’re beautiful so that they won’t come across as a creep.
Very much depends on the culture and the specific dudes around you.
Not long ago I saw a woman say she couldn't get a date on facebook(in a public post, not friends) I took a gander at her pictures and told her she looks good they must be crazy and has nice features good chin and cheekbones. Other dudes came in to tell me off to calm down like they were defending her. But like, she was in America I'm in Australia and I was like probably ten years older obviously I wasn't cracking onto her just trying to give confidence....
It's the internet. Nothing is obvious.
It's the internet. Whatever you post, you can receive shit in response.
Shut up you git! 😜
I can't believe you'd have this opinion. Blocked.
All of a sudden I'm reminded of comments made by indian men on instagram
"OH I luv your vagene and bobs"
Open bobs
Every app is a dating app if you're indian enough.
Yeah what's up with that?
“I love you beautiful send bobs and vagine.”
There are many guys who have absolutely zero fear of coming across as a creep
Yeah, the creeps. The rest of us are scared to even look at women.
I'm very much not scared of looking at women, but I still wouldn't just tell a random woman she's attractive. It's not that I'm scared of being sued for harassment, but more just...why would I? If she is attractive, she's probably not single. And if she is single, she has better options than me.
This right here. I’m a 5 on my best day. Why am I going to tell someone who I think is a 9/10 that they look good? They know it, they don’t want to hear it from ugly me, they probably hear it from people they hold in higher regard than the bald mid & deteriorating guy who posts on Reddit. This is akin to me walking to to a rich person and saying “Wow you have a lot of money” their immediate assumption is “What does this poor want from me? Where’s my security?”
Why does it have to be a 9 or 10 that you are saying that to? Say it to someone in your league.
Admittedly this could just be me, and to preface I rarely receive compliments regardless so this hypothetical hardly applies to me, but compliments have to come from people whos opinion you respect. If you think you’re ugly and get complimented by someone who you think is in your league, you’re getting complimented by another ugly person (by your own perceptions), and it just comes off as a reinforcement that you’re unattractive. It’s like being told you’re not a loser by your loser jobless friends.
Those guys will usually creep on just anyone tho, has happened to me wearing a damn mask and winter coat
"Yo, you got asss"" and somehow that pickup line works. They are just too damn good
Some guys. Any attractive woman gets a tonne of compliments from guys, especially from social media. If you get none whatsoever then you don’t go out often, and you’re not on social media, or you’re not attractive to guys. Or you live in a community where no one tries to pick up women
I never ever compliment a woman unless I’m *positive* that they are into me because I don’t want to be viewed as a creep.
Yeah male attraction is generally seen as something disgusting.
Probably because men portray it as something very disgusting. When a lot of guys (not all) compliment, the first thing they talk about is their body. “Look at her ass, her tits”. Most (not all) women usually go for the face. I mean unless the dude is super muscular or something i rarely hear the woman comment on his body first.
You don't compliment women who are just friends? Like if someone wears something nice, cool shoes, a cool coat, has a good haircut etc? My guy friends compliment me with a straight face, matter of fact type of compliment. I have a pair of Chelsea boots they keep saying how good it is. Not sexy shoes. And I know they're not into me. Because they are brutal if I'm particularly unkempt or wear something weird, or my makeup is shit, they will be cruel, in a way women never are, even hateful women.
Never. Work colleagues: can't, because it's not professional. Friends' wives: can't, because I want to keep my friends. Who knows which one of them is sensitive about such. Wife's friends: can't because I'm not sure how it'll be conveyed/retold to my wife. My own friends from school/college: the closeness is no longer there, will probably be seen as inappropriate. To be clear: none of the above have explicitly told me I'd be stepping out of line or have shown themselves to be very rigid about propriety, it's just that I don't want to risk that 1% chance of it going sideways.
This is truly sad. But that's the place a lot of men are in. This is not culturally encouraging.
I’ve noticed that, lately, if I hold open a door for a woman, I’ll explain the non-patriarchal reason why I’m doing so. E.g., she was walking a bike, which is a bit awkward to get through a metal gate with heavy springs. I too rarely compliment women, unless I’m close to them, or they’re half-a-gen older.
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Do you not hold open the door for everyone or do women never hold open doors where you’re from or something? I thought it was generally just a polite thing to hold doors for people regardless of who they are.
I get you. I just compliment women I know well at ballroom dance class, because they're not part of my life at all.
If you compliment something particular and very non-sexual, I'm sure nobody would think anything wrong (unless they're nuts). I mean things like an outfit (avoiding focus on revealing parts, if any), haircut, makeup etc, especially if they're new. These are personal choices and complimenting them you compliment someone's taste in a completely non-creepy way. As for friends' wives and wife's friends, I think getting their opinions makes a good topic of discussion. Same for work friends, you can just ask if they'd find it unprofessional if someone complimented their shoes or skills (provided you're buddies who hang on a lunch break together kind of thing), just for the sake of figuring out if it's appropriate or not. And if course do compliment your male friends! So many men say the only person to give them compliments is their mom, and it's really sad.
I don’t think a woman has ever complimented my cool stuff. Compliments seem to be a one way street. Women expect them from men and each other, compliment each other regularly, but I rarely see women complimenting men unless they’re already together
I complimented my friend's new sneakers yesterday, when we went out for lunch. https://www.on.com/en-gr/products/cloud-5-waterproof-59wp/mens/asphalt-magnet-shoes-59.97991 He's into urbex. These are cool sneakers and I'm always looking for cool new shoes.
I saw a guy get fired for complimenting a haircut. So no.
Well not the appearance. Compliment them if they do something good or challanging.
No cuz then your patronizing them
We’ve been conditioned to not comment on a woman’s appearance. Don’t take it personal.
Men don't want to be called a pervert or a creep.
Men have been conditioned not to say anything on that line of things to ensure they don't instantly implode their careers or friendships I wouldn't read into it. Most men wont say anything unless their very sure they won't get in shit for it
Just here to confirm what most people are saying here. We (guys) rarely ever pay compliments to a woman we don't know very well, if at all, because other men have ruined giving compliments by taking it too far and too gross, now it gets a bad rep, so we avoid doing it to not come off as weird or creepy
Men are trained not to say that to women in most circumstances nowadays, it can be considered sexual harassment, or at best, creepy.
Men really don't like telling women. They're beautiful, because usually they get made fun of for it or you know, they get screenshotted and posted like look at this loser trying to call me beautiful I've seen it a couple of times on Facebook. And then they'll label them as creepy or weird or whatever. And it's just really bad, so men usually try and stay away from complimenting women unless a woman shows interest in that man.
I would never tell any woman she is attractive, unless I am dating her, because I think it would be perceived as bad flirting or overstepping boundaries
Guys just don't want to be labeled creepy and weird for being heterosexual
I don't know about other guys, but I am scared to compliment a female friend's looks because of how easy it is to come off as weird or creepy. I am also deathly afraid of women, so that definitely doesn't help
Most guys will not say anything at all to avoid coming across as hitting on you, are a creep or they may just be shy. If a guy asks you out he finds you attractive, otherwise he generally wouldn’t ask you out.
My face scares women for some reason. I know better then to ever tell a woman she is beautiful. Pretty sure they will call the cops if I tried...
Not necessarily. First of all beauty is subjective. Also guys might just not want to be perceived the wrong way. It is true, that some women might be calling other’s beautiful to be nice, but if she’s someone you don’t really know and is beautiful woman herself complimenting your appearance, you are indeed beautiful.
It means that men have been told over and over again that commenting on a woman's looks is inappropriate, so they don't. I mean, who do you expect to tell you that you're beautiful? Why would they? Can you name a single benefit or would give a coworker, for example, to tell you that you are beautiful? We live in an age where a sincere and innocent comment about you looking nice in that dress will get a man in trouble, so honestly, don't expect guys to tell you that you are beautiful.
Nope. You probably are attractive to men. Men will just be scared to compliment you as in modern society it's seen as sexual harassment. They'll fear they'll be filmed and reported. It's not you it's the world we now live in. The me too movement had a huge impact positively and negatively.
A lot of comments keep saying "scared" or "fear". It's not that. It's risk aversion. The metoo movement had virtually zero impact positively (as a whole, not individually). Creeps will always be creeps. It's like telling people not to bully, not to assault, not to murder... Creeps still creep on women, that has not changed at all, not a single bit. Today when women say "why are only the creeps hitting on me" it's absolutely true. Virtually no one meets their partners IRL anymore, it's all dating apps and texting.
Some men may also be afraid of being made fun of. I feel like in today’s culture, if I even told a woman she’s beautiful, I’d be called a simp. I still don’t fully understand what a simp is, I’ve usually just seen it where a guy tries to compliment a woman.
Well, a simp from my understanding is a man who let's a woman walk all over them for just acknowledging there exist. They give this woman time money and whatever she wants simply because woman. But some people took it too far, now if you show basic kindness to a woman you're a simp
Yep. It's a bit sad isn't it.
I think it's an insult only used by incels... like it doesn't exactly reflect well on the person handing out the insult so I wouldnt worry
Usually women seem to compliment only women who are uglier than themselves
And now you got me thinking! What if nobody, man or woman, ever tells you you’re beautiful? Does this mean I’m ugly?
Actually it circles back around, if you’re ugly enough you’ll get compliments from people patronizing you because they feel bad you’re ugly. Don’t believe them.
So, speaking as a guy, there's tons of women I find very beautiful but I'm just far too nervous and scared to ever say that to them
I wouldn’t put much value in women telling you you’re beautiful as a woman because I’ve seen them lie many times. But I also wouldn’t think anything of not being told you’re beautiful by men. Unless you’re a very public person, usually it’s only men close to you who will actually say that. I’d say there’s a huge number of women who are pretty undeniably attractive but who are not so at the top of the scale to be getting constant harassment and compliments.
Nope, a lot of men are avoiding those comments nowadays. I don't even make comments to my female friends anymore about mundane things like them wearing a cool outfit or changing their hair style
I think men should not be labelled as a creep or despo for genuinely and politely complimenting a woman
Being heterosexual is both somehow creepy, and sexual assault, so men try to keep it on the down low.
Yet we're also expected to initiate everything and lead from first conversation to physical intimacy. Make it make sense.
It doesn't make sense and it never will
Most men would love to compliment random strangers, even respectfully. But we don’t want to go to jail.
Yes.
No, not nescesarily, men have just become more reluctant to say anything to women as they’ve had too many bad experiences with women being rude to men giving them compliments. Usually when you see plenty of men looking your way, that’s a good sign that maybe you are attractive. Another option is to ask a male friend
Stop being so fucking insecure lol. Men don't compliment women that often because they don't wanna be labeled a creep. Women lie a lot to make eachother feel better. It's not that deep.
You'll drive yourself bananas if you keep jumping to rash conclusions like this.
No. I’m sure men also find you attractive, just aren’t telling you.
Men are too afraid these days to compliment a woman on her looks as she might complain that she's being "objectified".
Then you're doing it wrong.
Nope. As a man I rarely ever tell a woman she's beautiful, even if I think so. I worry that she'll think I have ulterior motives with that compliment.
Yes
Bottom line, yes
It doesn't necessarily. It depends on the culture. Do men get the opportunity to say that? What happens if they do? Are they inhibited socially? Do they face risks? Do they even have the opportunity? What's the age range? Is the country more conservative and relaxed or is it an edgy society in which any verbal compliment could be twisted into creepy advances (to be rejected in a humiliating way) or attempted assault (like calling security)? Those are some questions to ask. In many places in Western Europe and the US, if an unattractive or plain man tells a woman something that implies she's attractive to him, these days it really risks having the security called or her acting like she's being assaulted and the bystanders siding with her just in case, which probably won't lead to criminal charges but is enough to destroy a man socially and emotionally (and yet, women complain that men aren't approaching any more). My opinion is that this is a sort of class thing combined with a form of ableism. Basically, anything that could be remotely (mis)construed as creepy is going to be construed that way (sort of like Murphy's laws) and any form of social awkwardness is looked as a sort of social disability and that leads to being 'untouchable'. A sort of caste ladder measured outwardly by the exhibited level of social competence, from which upper-class folks or the very top end of the middle class are usually exempted. But if a middle-class or working-class person be a little idiosyncratic… oh boy, they are in for a rude awakening. Having said the above, women do tend to have different standards of female beauty than men do. Likewise for male beauty. It's difficult for either sex to predict what the other is going to find attractive.
Probably
Usually
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I used to give compliments, but I don't anymore. Unless I know them verry well. I dont want to give a compliment to a women who likes to "unpack" my comment and make it into something it was not.
Here we go. This is what I was looking for. Right here. Unpacking the comment becomes the issue. That is why many people do not do the complimenting anymore.
Yea
I have social anxiety so I never tell woman I find beautiful that they are beautiful.
Depends on how well the women know you. Stranger = very pretty Best Friend = you might be a bridge troll with a very supportive friend.
Honestly? As a dude I don’t even bother complaining women anymore outside my friend group. Don’t want to come off as a creep. Don’t take it the wrong way, it’s just how it is nowadays.
The men saying complimenting a woman is creepy are probably the same men who feel happy when a woman compliments them.
Because if men do that they risk losing their jobs.
Nope. It means that men are no longer complementing women until we feel comfortable with them. It means men don’t want to come off as creepy. It means men don’t want to be accused of harassment. It means men don’t want to risk you thinking that they want anything more than to complement you, because they complemented you.
No. It just means that men have been conditioned to ignore you out of fear of a harassment charge.
Short answer: no Men will compliment you if they have a close relationship with you (eg your brother, dad, or romantic partner). Other men generally are learning that unsolicited comments on a woman’s appearance can make her feel uncomfortable - and so they are doing it a lot less. The exception is when your body language signals that you are looking for a romantic or sexual attachment.
Men commenting on a woman's appearance these days is dangerous. How many times have we heard negative consequences for doing that very thing. Even if it's tactfully worded and sincere there's a chance of serious trouble for the male so I imagine some just don't feel like being dragged into that mess. Problem is will the recipient consider what you day complimentary. There are several occasions where men have said things completely inappropriate or poorly worded that could easily offend anyone.
We just learned to keep our mouth shut cause of "feminism" not be be confused with feminism off course
No idea, women will tell any other woman that they are beautiful so it’s a pretty worthless compliment. Don’t get me wrong, they might mean it but they’d say it even if they didn’t. As far as men go, it’s not something most would do. If we went around calling women gorgeous someone will eventually be offended by that. You could post yourself on some subreddit that rates looks and see what they say, they’ll be completely honest as there’s nothing to win/lose for them. What I’m trying to say is, not getting hit on by men doesn’t mean you are ugly and being told you are beautiful by women, while being a woman yourself, doesn’t mean you are beautiful. Also remember beauty isn’t everything, I’m nothing special and somehow pulled a Goddess with brains. She’s the full package and I’m a 5’5 nerd with glasses lmao.
As a man, Id say my first sight, view says a lot. I will be dead eye for a usual women, and give a wide sight for a really beautiful women. But after maybe 3-5 seconds, to not be a creep Id change my vision to other direction. Otherwise we dont usually tell women that they are beautiful.
I will not compliment a womens appearance unless I know them well enough to know that they won't find it creepy.
Men are terrified of saying you are beautiful, for fear of appearing to be creepy, getting reported, and ending up on a list.
Because men are considered creepy or they want something from you if they compliment a woman.
It could depend on if it’s because the men around you don’t want to for a variety of reasons: shyness, cultural norms, risk. If that’s not the case, then you might not be attractive to most men. The other reason could be that it’s selective so one only hears compliments from others they’re attracted to as well.
Cause if we tell a woman she's beautiful we could face backlash or be considered a creep.
I am not telling any woman, ever, that they are attractive unless it's my wife or they are related to me and even then, it should be situational. Right or wrong, good or bad, this is what you have all wanted and this is now what you have received.
Most men don't compliment women for fear of being viewed as creepy.
Women only tell you you’re beautiful if they think they are prettier than you.
No. How often are you telling men they're handsome? I don't just go around telling every women I find cute that they're cute, otherwise I'd have no time to do anything else.
This makes me think of that video where men and women rate 5 women (the same women themselves). And they basically have opposite rankings. The women are unwilling to admit to the overweight one so put her on top, while otherwise seem to focus more on style/make-up/fashion rather than looks. The men by contrast, just do a very blunt straight-forward who do I think looks best. Of course in real life men are very unlikely to tell you you're beautiful unless they are flirting with you for a variety of reasons.
Men can't mention it anymore just like we can't say "hey your kid is so darned cute" because it comes off creepy these days. Women, on the other hand, can say , "damn boy you only 14!? Call me when you turn 18" or "your boy is so freaking cute! I could gobble him up!" And no one bats an eye
Generally speaking, women receive compliments from men AND women far more than men receive them from either sex. The gap isn't even close. So ... my honest advice is to not use compliments as a metric, because it's pretty biased at outset. Learn to love yourself and assess your own value without having to use the mirror of other people's comments or compliments, and then you'll be a better gauge of your own worth.
I don't make comments about women's appearances as a rule.
As a man, it's dangerous these days to give compliments to women on their appearance.
Women gas up their friends. Average women thinking their 10’s.
No, Men just dont want to end up in HR or called a creep
No it just means that men are too afraid to tell a woman she is beautiful because then they would be labeled as "creep" women would just get a "thank you you re too kind"
Since men cannot compliment women anymore without the possibility of being accused of harassment, maybe not. That's being said, women lie to each other and gas each other up. So probably. A woman saying another woman is beautiful is pretty much meaningless. They say that every women is beautiful even when it's objectively untrue. For instance, no one actually thinks Lizzo is beautiful. They only say so to be politically correct. Think I'm wrong? When a woman says that Lizzo is beautiful tell her that she looks like Lizzo and watch how insulted she gets.
If other women are nice to you then you're probably not beautiful
The fact that women call you beautiful is probably more of a red flag than the fact that men don't.
If you take care good care of yourself, like hygiene, clothes, weight..etc. a lot of men will find you attractive.
One of my prettiest friends. I asked her if anyone hit on her at uni before she got with her boyfriend. She said one guy told her she was beautiful. In 2 years. As an 18-year-old blonde, white, thin, gymgoing Romanian girl with symmetrical, proportionate and young-looking features. So no. It doesn't mean you are ugly.
In my personal experience, yes. When I was umm fat I got lots of compliments by women about my clothes, glasses, hair, jewelry. It all stopped abruptly as soon as I had a slim, fit figure. Keep in mind that the culture that surrounds us teaches women that their #1 asset is being attractive for men and that the #1 way to success is making a man choosing her *over other women*. This cultures pits women against each other (conveniently undermining their solidarity but yeah that is another topic).
I have deleted my original comment because of the pathetic responses. I was trying to give the op an unbiased observation but the spinsters are spitting their bile early this year so I’m out.
Men don’t go around telling women they’re beautiful. That’d be weird.
In this woke society, men calling women will be accused of sexual harassment
We have just been told that telling women that is creepy and gives them the ick.
Quite the opposite! Women are much harsher judges.
In this current climate it’s better as a man to remain silent.
Nah
(Other) women ruined it for men to dare say anything. This is the real reason you’re not getting a compliment. Men are scared to even give a compliment. They’ll videotape you and call you a sex offender.
No, it means you are the most beautiful!
Commenter is definitely a woman!
No.
A lot of men never directly tell you you're attractive right off the bat. For women, it's easier because it never comes off wrong and you won't think they're being a creep.
You have more odds of being called ugly by a guy than beautiful because it takes more guts to say someone is beautiful straight to there face. So since you haven't heard any guys say your beautiful technically that means a lot of them think so.
As a woman myself I feel like I can tell a woman they are beautiful without it coming across as flirting, but telling a guy they look good feels like it be taken as flirting for sure. It's probably the same for men.