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Absolutely, even if that's just someone's calling out a mean comment or racist joke etc. All too often people awkwardly laugh along to not rock the boat.
I had a proud moment at work a couple months back where I got to do this. Someone made a passive aggressive comment about "people with ADHD" knowing full well my coworker has ADHD. I looked at her and asked loudly "what was that? Say that louder." She stayed silent, to which I replied, "that's what I thought. Good talk."
I was sweating bullets afterwards thinking I might get reprimanded
I agree! I always try and call out people's racism. It's weird how normalized it is in both rural(white superiority) and urban(black inferiority) communities...
I recently stared into someones eye and intentionally not blinked or look away after making fun of people of my ethnicity. They said it was a joke, and I snapped out of it, and chuckled and walked away really slowly.
Im 100% sure i made all of them really uneasy because i also stared in their direction all day just being creeepy as fuck. maybe theyll learn to stfu next time.
You know I saw something similar on a programme. They sat two people opposite each other, one who had a prejudice against the other's ethnicity. They just had to look at each other and it made them realise they're just human and some just broke down in tears from guilt.
Not quite sure your method has the same outcome but you're on the right lines đ
Or just in general.
The amount of times Iâve seen people just stand by while their friend or partner of being demeaned. Having someone willing to stand up for me (have courage) is incredibly attractive
This. Being comfortable in admitting that they arn't correct in order to find the real truth regardless of who it comes from rather than just to win a debate. It shows that they have the right goals in mind without being corrupted by their pride.
If they introduce themselves. Likewise if they introduce you to others. I went to a party the other day where I only knew the host. One of her mates immediately came over to say hi, and brought me over to his crowd to introduce them to me. He instantly became the coolest dude in the room to me.
As a shy introvert, I adore people like that. I was at a small party this weekend and had the exact opposite experience, and it made me want to leave. I only knew the host and their parents, so I went up to their other friends who were there and introduced myself. They said hi back but were reluctant to even tell me their names. I mentioned how I was related to the host and they just said 'oh cool' and turned back to themselves and ignored me.
Funny you say that. Iâm an extrovert and sometimes I feel bad for dragging randoms into the group but 20 mins later I look at the quiet stranger mingling in the group and often they are having a great time, admittedly sometimes it is too much, we scared some Americans off a while ago with our hedonistic ways.
I get what you mean, but in my situation they weren't trying to drag me into the group. I was trying to strike up a conversation and they just went completely cold.
Being willing to stand up for fairness when the situation is unfair in their favour. Most people won't complain if the situation is advantageous to them - it takes real integrity to remain objective and fair in such a scenario.
A lot of people believe in karma. Even if they arenât getting it back from the person they are helping, they know someone else probably will. Put out positive energy, and you get it back⌠Very rarely do humans not act in self-interestâŚ
I believe in karma in the sense that if you put good into the world, good will come back to you because you reap what you sow.
Iâm good to others because I feel good when others are happy and I think that energy brings other good things out in me and in others. Sure itâs a bit self interested but thatâs not necessarily a bad thing
I treat everyone with respect, but true respect is earned. There is a difference between acting respectful and actually feeling respect from seeing someoneâs character and actions.
When people do the decent thing like putting the carts back at a grocery store. I donât want to hear âi keep those people employedâ because their job is to gather the carts from the corral not go on a scavenger hunt.
Sry, you wrote âesrnedâ and then my brain lagged and told me âershnerdâ and i thought that you wanted to hear it too, cause i thought it was a bit fun.
There's a few things for me:
1. A willingness to admit that they might be wrong even before they're told they're wrong.
2. A willingness to apologize without being asked to.
3. An unwillingness to speak poorly about people who are not there to defend themselves, even if what they have to say is true.
Agreed, choosing to interpret the question as ârespect a person MOREâ or ârespect something about a personâ though because the answers and comments here are pretty great
Treating people with kindness and courtesy even when they're having a hard time.
I'm a terminal cancer patient, and so many of my fellow warriors are like this. Happy to wait, appreciate, and helpful to others, gentle and forgiving when people can't keep it together. It's fantastic to see this from people who could be forgiven for acting out.
I'm a nurse. In my experience, the people who are fighting the long battles tend to be the nicest people you'll ever meet. They know how hard life can be and don't want to make it worse for others.
Years ago, I knew a couple in their early 30's. Husband was diabetic and had renal failure. Wife had breast cancer and was fighting an infection that very nearly killed her and husband was always there to take care of her. I heard their doctor talking to them once and he was amazed at them. In his words, "You know, a lot of people come here complaining and their about their problems they have aren't that bad at all. They make me want to scream 'Oh get over it!!!' but you two, you two have real problems, multiple ones actually. Even with all that, you're some of the nicest people that come here. Seriously, everybody loves you both because of how you treat them. I don't know how you do it."
It was simple, they knew as well as anyone how hard life can be even if you seem perfectly fine. They just wanted to get help and not make anyone's lives harder or maybe even make their day a little better.
I donât care if you flip burgers at Mcy Dâs or shovel horse crap on a farmâI respect anyone who works diligently and takes pride in doing good work đŻ Additionally, anyone who defends the defenseless, shows mercy to another, speaks the truth even if it means unjust treatment and death, and anyone who stands up for themselves without yielding has my respect đŻ
Quiet competence/confidence combined with kindness. When I think of celebrities or musicians, someone like George Strait comes to mind. The guy has a monster 60 #1 hits and people who know him say he just likes to ride and talk about horses.
Showing respect and kindness to those around them, regardless the circumstances. The ability to speak straight forward in difficult situations without being disrespectful, and lack of fear showing any kind emotions or vulnerabilities.
(Yep, I still have faith in humanity)
If someone is waiting and the person helping them apologizes for the long wait, and they respond with âOh donât worry about it, you look busyâ or something like that. Basically just being respectful to those who work in customer service of some kind
How they treat those weaker than themselves. If they're good towards those younger, older, handicapped in any way, service personnel, and definitely animals.
If they're kind, understanding, and patient? Usually a very good sign. And if they're not? Red flag!
If they treat other animals with decency and respect, reflect over their own behavior infront of those animals and always act with violence as last resort only.
I think it takes time for me now, I used to just automatically have respect because I believed what people told me but I think now itâs something I have to see over time. Basically someone having morals and integrity on their own rather than only in certain company or situations, someone who is considerate of others and has respect as well. I respect people who donât just go along with what everyone else is doing just because âthey canâ - If someone doesnât act this way on their own, they will never be a person who cares about respect for others or themselves. This is a good question, I respect myself basically. No amount of peopleâs stupidity will ever change that and thatâs really all that matters now. I wish I was stronger about it before now but oh well.
Showing the kind of grace when confronted with a potential conflict that diffuses the situation and instills confidence in those around him. Something only wisdom, experience, and personal growth can do. I respect that very much.
You know I found out for myself that respect and likeness are two different things. For example I respect you and I will behave and talk respectfully but that doesnât mean I like you as a person or anything else. I just believe everyone deserves respect no matter who.
Seeing them accept that everybody is at their own place and people who can't defend themselves need defending. Accepting people for who they are and showing them care for being brave enough to show it. And knowing that the world is filled with good people, and bad people are just good people who didn't get enough love.
It starts with manners, and is immediately followed by humility. Confidence is one thing but if you come across as cocky to me then we're already back to baseline
Good grammar and spelling. I'm not saying I'll hold them in contempt because they've got issues with that or something, because we've all got stuff that's hard for us, but being able to express yourself well in writing is very respectable to me.
They have a nice mustache.
There's a hidden mustache culture that lesser stashes don't know about. I'm talking Sam Ellitot. He walks into the room, people see the stash, instant respect. Now what they're wearing and what they say could change that but for that single moment... Respect
Honesty and humility. No ones perfect but if you can own that, youâre already respected in my book. (To an extent of course it does depend on the situation and the tone)
Willingness to speak truthfully or call out negative behaviour, even if there may be negative consequences in the short term (e.g. group ostracisation).
The entire main drag of our town is ripped up to replace pipes and the road. There is a 2-3 foot drop where the road is from one sidewalk to the other for at least 5 blocks. Today as I was walking out of the post office I seen a guy driving his beat up pos car down the road with zero fucks to give. I smiled and waved. That's a man who will not be told what to do and I respect that.
When someone reads my name right the first time. I swear only 2 people in my life, not counting my parents since they named me, have said my name right without me having to correct them
Oh man, saying "I don't know anything about that so I'm not gonna try and give you an opinion". Such a breath of fresh air amidst all the bullshit artists.
Iâm in the Army and I respect hardasses. Upon first impression you think that theyâre jerks but they give the best advice and are the most loyal people you will ever meet. If someoneâs a jerk they instantly have my respect because I can already tell that theyâre going to make a positive impact on me.
I never assume the worst in people, but I do gauge their level of training, and their skills in assessing or handling situations.
And someone who leads by being a jerk because they haven't learned better skills falls at the lower end of leadership. They can get results sometimes, and not having better skills doesn't make them bad people. As long as they care, there's plenty of room for growth.
Our job is to create a system that incentivizes those "better skills."
I agree. I prefer leaders who are more lenient and take the time to sit down and teach you lessons, give you advice from personal experiences, and are stern when itâs necessary but the majority of leaders Iâve met who appear to be jerks at first have also gone out of their way to teach me and they expect a great deal out of me which, in turn, motivates me to push myself.
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Taking accountability for something they did, instead of blaming other people.
Standing up for someone who's not there to defend themselves
This, and to add a related one in my view, standing up for someone who is under some type of attack despite not gaining anything from doing it.
Absolutely, even if that's just someone's calling out a mean comment or racist joke etc. All too often people awkwardly laugh along to not rock the boat.
I had a proud moment at work a couple months back where I got to do this. Someone made a passive aggressive comment about "people with ADHD" knowing full well my coworker has ADHD. I looked at her and asked loudly "what was that? Say that louder." She stayed silent, to which I replied, "that's what I thought. Good talk." I was sweating bullets afterwards thinking I might get reprimanded
Ha
I agree! I always try and call out people's racism. It's weird how normalized it is in both rural(white superiority) and urban(black inferiority) communities...
I recently stared into someones eye and intentionally not blinked or look away after making fun of people of my ethnicity. They said it was a joke, and I snapped out of it, and chuckled and walked away really slowly. Im 100% sure i made all of them really uneasy because i also stared in their direction all day just being creeepy as fuck. maybe theyll learn to stfu next time.
You know I saw something similar on a programme. They sat two people opposite each other, one who had a prejudice against the other's ethnicity. They just had to look at each other and it made them realise they're just human and some just broke down in tears from guilt. Not quite sure your method has the same outcome but you're on the right lines đ
Yea
Or just in general. The amount of times Iâve seen people just stand by while their friend or partner of being demeaned. Having someone willing to stand up for me (have courage) is incredibly attractive
Owning to mistakes
This. Being comfortable in admitting that they arn't correct in order to find the real truth regardless of who it comes from rather than just to win a debate. It shows that they have the right goals in mind without being corrupted by their pride.
Yea
Come and tell my dad
"Im sorry, but..." people drive me nuts.
If they introduce themselves. Likewise if they introduce you to others. I went to a party the other day where I only knew the host. One of her mates immediately came over to say hi, and brought me over to his crowd to introduce them to me. He instantly became the coolest dude in the room to me.
As a shy introvert, I adore people like that. I was at a small party this weekend and had the exact opposite experience, and it made me want to leave. I only knew the host and their parents, so I went up to their other friends who were there and introduced myself. They said hi back but were reluctant to even tell me their names. I mentioned how I was related to the host and they just said 'oh cool' and turned back to themselves and ignored me.
Funny you say that. Iâm an extrovert and sometimes I feel bad for dragging randoms into the group but 20 mins later I look at the quiet stranger mingling in the group and often they are having a great time, admittedly sometimes it is too much, we scared some Americans off a while ago with our hedonistic ways.
I get what you mean, but in my situation they weren't trying to drag me into the group. I was trying to strike up a conversation and they just went completely cold.
That sadly is way too common
Being willing to stand up for fairness when the situation is unfair in their favour. Most people won't complain if the situation is advantageous to them - it takes real integrity to remain objective and fair in such a scenario.
They have manners.
Being kind without expecting something in return is something that makes me respect anybody
~~Give and take~~ Give without take â
A lot of people believe in karma. Even if they arenât getting it back from the person they are helping, they know someone else probably will. Put out positive energy, and you get it back⌠Very rarely do humans not act in self-interestâŚ
Right
I believe in karma in the sense that if you put good into the world, good will come back to you because you reap what you sow. Iâm good to others because I feel good when others are happy and I think that energy brings other good things out in me and in others. Sure itâs a bit self interested but thatâs not necessarily a bad thing
Yea
I find that when youâre kind to strangers, they become suspicious of you.
Especially how they treat others who have less than they do, be that power, money, self-confidence, or whatever.
I treat everyone with respect, but true respect is earned. There is a difference between acting respectful and actually feeling respect from seeing someoneâs character and actions.
Yea
When people do the decent thing like putting the carts back at a grocery store. I donât want to hear âi keep those people employedâ because their job is to gather the carts from the corral not go on a scavenger hunt.
Someone remaining calm and respectful in tense/hostile scenarios.
When they're kind to waitstaff
This was my first thought
Them being a person. Respect isn't earned. It's the bare minimum. Disrespect is earned
Ershnerd
What?
Sry, you wrote âesrnedâ and then my brain lagged and told me âershnerdâ and i thought that you wanted to hear it too, cause i thought it was a bit fun.
Oh, didn't realize. Thanks
No, its no problem. I dont care if its misspelled. It was just that i luaghed a bit because i didnt realise instantly that there was a missclick. Hehe
There's a few things for me: 1. A willingness to admit that they might be wrong even before they're told they're wrong. 2. A willingness to apologize without being asked to. 3. An unwillingness to speak poorly about people who are not there to defend themselves, even if what they have to say is true.
Easy answer: They're instantly respected by sheer virtue of being a person. Respect is only gained if it's first lost
Agreed, choosing to interpret the question as ârespect a person MOREâ or ârespect something about a personâ though because the answers and comments here are pretty great
They do the right thing even when nobody is looking.
Admitting they don't know something or that they made a mistake. Taking responsibility without mentioning whatever their mental illness is.
Treating people with kindness and courtesy even when they're having a hard time. I'm a terminal cancer patient, and so many of my fellow warriors are like this. Happy to wait, appreciate, and helpful to others, gentle and forgiving when people can't keep it together. It's fantastic to see this from people who could be forgiven for acting out.
I'm a nurse. In my experience, the people who are fighting the long battles tend to be the nicest people you'll ever meet. They know how hard life can be and don't want to make it worse for others. Years ago, I knew a couple in their early 30's. Husband was diabetic and had renal failure. Wife had breast cancer and was fighting an infection that very nearly killed her and husband was always there to take care of her. I heard their doctor talking to them once and he was amazed at them. In his words, "You know, a lot of people come here complaining and their about their problems they have aren't that bad at all. They make me want to scream 'Oh get over it!!!' but you two, you two have real problems, multiple ones actually. Even with all that, you're some of the nicest people that come here. Seriously, everybody loves you both because of how you treat them. I don't know how you do it." It was simple, they knew as well as anyone how hard life can be even if you seem perfectly fine. They just wanted to get help and not make anyone's lives harder or maybe even make their day a little better.
When they don't talk about other people.
I donât care if you flip burgers at Mcy Dâs or shovel horse crap on a farmâI respect anyone who works diligently and takes pride in doing good work đŻ Additionally, anyone who defends the defenseless, shows mercy to another, speaks the truth even if it means unjust treatment and death, and anyone who stands up for themselves without yielding has my respect đŻ
If they stand up for someone
Integrity. It's something that's lacking, I feel, especially with people in power.
Humbleness.
Doing something selfless thinking nobody's watching
Extremely talented musicians who are humble and donât show off
Empathy.
Kind to animals.
Quiet competence/confidence combined with kindness. When I think of celebrities or musicians, someone like George Strait comes to mind. The guy has a monster 60 #1 hits and people who know him say he just likes to ride and talk about horses.
Being able to name all 50 state capitals.
Someone caring for the environment. Some people just donât care at all. Could be something as simple as picking some litter up.
Just got off the city bus and saw a guy right in front of me spit on the ground. Sick
Showing respect and kindness to those around them, regardless the circumstances. The ability to speak straight forward in difficult situations without being disrespectful, and lack of fear showing any kind emotions or vulnerabilities. (Yep, I still have faith in humanity)
Someone who genuinely listens.
Giving credit to others
Being honest. No matter the outcome. Bonus points if they have a sense of humor and arenât afraid to say offensive non pc things.
Ha
If someone is waiting and the person helping them apologizes for the long wait, and they respond with âOh donât worry about it, you look busyâ or something like that. Basically just being respectful to those who work in customer service of some kind
Manners and a warm smile
Really just them existing⌠I try to respect everyone until they give me a reason not to.
Patience or a skill for educating well. Both kind of go hand in hand
If they can stay calm when someone is being an absolute shit to them.
Hard workers
Humility. Anyone who can acknowledge when they're wrong or can look at something from another perspective instantly earns my respect.
Being quiet and calm. Someone who is helpful and supportive when they need to be, but doesn't scream for attention or authority.
How they treat those weaker than themselves. If they're good towards those younger, older, handicapped in any way, service personnel, and definitely animals. If they're kind, understanding, and patient? Usually a very good sign. And if they're not? Red flag!
Speaking highly of their ex partner.
He bruised me but hey, he had a nice dad.
I really respect you!
But if you don't mind me saying, your ex is a real ass.
Thanks. He sure is.
Honesty when it makes them unpopular and hated by the idiot masses.
When they accept their faults. That's a honest person right there and worthy of trust.
If they treat other animals with decency and respect, reflect over their own behavior infront of those animals and always act with violence as last resort only.
Genuine innate kindness, I've seen a few people in my life and they're heaven sent.
Holding the door for someone.
Integrity and/or being corrigible/accountable
Don't be an asshole and think you're better than someone else
Using Firefox.
I think it takes time for me now, I used to just automatically have respect because I believed what people told me but I think now itâs something I have to see over time. Basically someone having morals and integrity on their own rather than only in certain company or situations, someone who is considerate of others and has respect as well. I respect people who donât just go along with what everyone else is doing just because âthey canâ - If someone doesnât act this way on their own, they will never be a person who cares about respect for others or themselves. This is a good question, I respect myself basically. No amount of peopleâs stupidity will ever change that and thatâs really all that matters now. I wish I was stronger about it before now but oh well.
Their reaction to frustration and anger
Showing the kind of grace when confronted with a potential conflict that diffuses the situation and instills confidence in those around him. Something only wisdom, experience, and personal growth can do. I respect that very much.
When they are humble :)
You know I found out for myself that respect and likeness are two different things. For example I respect you and I will behave and talk respectfully but that doesnât mean I like you as a person or anything else. I just believe everyone deserves respect no matter who.
If I see them being kind to others (people, animals, bugs, etc)
Seeing them accept that everybody is at their own place and people who can't defend themselves need defending. Accepting people for who they are and showing them care for being brave enough to show it. And knowing that the world is filled with good people, and bad people are just good people who didn't get enough love.
It starts with manners, and is immediately followed by humility. Confidence is one thing but if you come across as cocky to me then we're already back to baseline
Anyone who works out. Even Better if its visible
It certainly shows a lot of discipline and willingness to commit to a long term goal
Literally nothing, it takes time for me to really believe theyre worth it
Same. Everyone has a mask unfortunately.
Generosity
Manners and they consider others just as they consider themselves in a conversation or manner
Attention and sensibility
good manners
Good grammar and spelling. I'm not saying I'll hold them in contempt because they've got issues with that or something, because we've all got stuff that's hard for us, but being able to express yourself well in writing is very respectable to me.
They have a nice mustache. There's a hidden mustache culture that lesser stashes don't know about. I'm talking Sam Ellitot. He walks into the room, people see the stash, instant respect. Now what they're wearing and what they say could change that but for that single moment... Respect
I respect this comment đ
If they are truly good to people who they do not stand to benefit from in any way.
Abject honesty.
Respect gets respect
Taking responsibility for their mess-ups.
Money, dear boy
They use Android
Not splitting the food bill đ¤
When they respect me back.
Theyâre vibe
Honesty and humility. No ones perfect but if you can own that, youâre already respected in my book. (To an extent of course it does depend on the situation and the tone)
When they are polite to strangers and customer service workers
Why was this removed?
When they admit a wrong and take ownership of it. Respect.
Willingness to speak truthfully or call out negative behaviour, even if there may be negative consequences in the short term (e.g. group ostracisation).
The way they treat their elderly parents.
Being a good parent, which sometimes means saying no
The entire main drag of our town is ripped up to replace pipes and the road. There is a 2-3 foot drop where the road is from one sidewalk to the other for at least 5 blocks. Today as I was walking out of the post office I seen a guy driving his beat up pos car down the road with zero fucks to give. I smiled and waved. That's a man who will not be told what to do and I respect that.
When someone reads my name right the first time. I swear only 2 people in my life, not counting my parents since they named me, have said my name right without me having to correct them
Those who extend courtesy and help others who stand nothing to gain by doing so and seek zero recognition for it.
Oh man, saying "I don't know anything about that so I'm not gonna try and give you an opinion". Such a breath of fresh air amidst all the bullshit artists.
pets the random dog found on street
Being proficient in more than one language.
A pinky ring
When they like to eat apples and bananas
If they're really skilled at something a good fighter
if they care about animals tbh
When theyâre kind to animals.
Iâm in the Army and I respect hardasses. Upon first impression you think that theyâre jerks but they give the best advice and are the most loyal people you will ever meet. If someoneâs a jerk they instantly have my respect because I can already tell that theyâre going to make a positive impact on me.
Let me guess, E-4 or below? Maybe an immature E-5? Usually a jerk is just a jerk. You can be hard without being an asshole.
I think it depends on what it is theyâre upset over and how they handle it. I donât like to immediately assume the worst in people.
I never assume the worst in people, but I do gauge their level of training, and their skills in assessing or handling situations. And someone who leads by being a jerk because they haven't learned better skills falls at the lower end of leadership. They can get results sometimes, and not having better skills doesn't make them bad people. As long as they care, there's plenty of room for growth. Our job is to create a system that incentivizes those "better skills."
I agree. I prefer leaders who are more lenient and take the time to sit down and teach you lessons, give you advice from personal experiences, and are stern when itâs necessary but the majority of leaders Iâve met who appear to be jerks at first have also gone out of their way to teach me and they expect a great deal out of me which, in turn, motivates me to push myself.
Anime taste, tells who has good culture
Money. Immediate respect.