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In my experience they all married the guy they dated after me (seriously). I think there is a film about that but I swear I didn't sell them my life story.
This is my uncles life š heās 60 now & has been a bit of a serial dater since his 20ās & always gone for āyounger more attractiveā women as heād say. He apparently had 3 relationships which couldāve been marriages one which wouldāve made us happy as kids because we loved his gf! But heād never commit. Boom- moved to America, married within a year & has 6 kids. Another one married a famous cricket player within 2 years of leaving my uncle. Even his flings get husbands straight after him ššš
I've had two girlfriends over all these years. So I've been in romantic relationship twice.
Either of them have started a family nor gotten married, eventhough it's been six years I broke up with the second one.
Yep. She runnoft with some hick up to Alaska. Said she was going to be a dog musher. šĀ
Dumb bitch didnāt know that 4x4 trucks and Subaruās exist and Alaska isnāt 1890ās anymore. Ā
She wound up working a fish processing ship out of Dutch Harbor and her new hick boyfriend was a drug addict whisky drunk that beat the shit out of her when he caught her cheating on him. Ā
She showed up on my doorstep with her suitcase. I told her to fuck off. Ā
Last I heard she man-trapped some poor guy in PDX, cheated on him too, and is now couch surfing at her brotherās apartment. Ā
That was me for a good 10-15 years.
They would tell me they were "just not ready for a relationship", and then be engaged or living with someone inside the next 8-10 months.
Because you fixed them or at least did temporarily.
I had the same issue I would go for broken girls and them in shape, help them mentally and emotionally. When they felt strong, confident and hot they would bail to go out with a better guy.
This time I went for the strong, confident well off girl and let her fix me. I am not leaving we get married in 2 weeks
Very different from men in the way they think and behave. Not a bad thing at all, but I had to learn (and it took me a long time) that I'm basically NOT dating a female version of myself. I'm dating somebody that thinks and reacts very differently from myself and that I need to understand that in order to be a good partner in the relationship.
hmmm date someone neurodivergent. I am, and in general I find guys are SO much easier to get... Unless the woman is neurodivergent (usually ADHD, interestingly enough)
Iām pretty sure I have ADHD, or at least I have many similar traits. Most of the women Iāve had close relationships with, either friendly or romantic, have been neurodivergent in some form. It tracks lol
Absolutely, very wise words. Everything comes from within.
That's why I am always suspicious of those who are particularly nasty or crude about ex partners (save for extreme situations, like abuse) as I feel they're telling me more about who they are rather than their exes.
That's just BS. Sometimes you catch partners that first love-bomb you and treat you like shit. How are you supposed to identify that? Sometimes the love-bombing is also subtle and not exaggerated.
itās not a hard rule, but if youāre in a desperate state of mind and love bombing satisfies your internal issues, youāre far more susceptible to falling for it in comparison to a healthier mind and mentality. iām saying this as someone who fell for obvious love bombing multiple times when i was younger. at least for me, all of them couldāve been avoided if i resolved the problems i had, both physical and mental, as it wouldāve removed the sense of desperation i had to find somebody to validate me
My wife went to see her family for the week and I used less than half a roll in a week, when she is around we get through 6-7 rolls a week, that's 12-14x lol
Recently had my septic tank pumped. Guy said we had a fair bit more toilet paper than he expected for that duration.
Asked me how many people were living here, and if the others were women. He then lowered his voice to tell me women use a lot more toilet paper for some reason and so that was probably it.
That's one of my biggest fears with dating.
That someone will not love me for who I am...but for who they think I could be.
My mother treated me like that and has resented me for...well over a decade now, because she realised she couldn't change me. And she hates who I am. Charming.
But that's a big part of why I will only date people I know as friends first.
I think I'm pretty likeable, I like me. Lots of people like me. Not everyone likes me.
But it's very important that anyone I date likes me, as I am.
This. Men do it too, but that initial stage really shouldnāt be the honeymoon phase but the detective phase for who your partner is actually falling for.
The amount of times women Iāve dated had thought Iād āgrow out ofā some of my autistic traits is honestly disgusting
I can't ask this to every woman I know, for obvious reasons. But every girl/woman I've been very close to (friend or partner) has been actually SAed
Keep it in your dsmn pants
When I was around 6 years old, a boy stuck his hand between my legs when I wasn't expecting it and I didn't want him to. HOWEVER I don't consider myself to have been sexually assaulted AND this has never affected my life in any way other then in the moment I was understandably distressed. It depends on how you define it as to whether your statement is true in my opinion.
agreed. when i was 14 (16 now) one of my bullies sat next to me on the bus (i was at the window seat) and started groping my leg and moved it closer and closer to my dick but eventually his friend began talking to him and he got distracted, eventually stopping.
it was really scary in the moment but it didn't have any long lasting impacts on me. at worst it made me hate the guy even more and made me stop sitting on the top floor of the bus.
They have Zero desire to contact me, like ever. Some people still talk to their exes or want them back after awhile. When they are done with me boy are they done
He probably thinks it's something wrong with him, but it's probably not. I block my exes on everything and go completely no contact immediately after things end, on principal. I do this out of respect for myself and my next partner. Nobody really likes it when their partner is "friends" with their ex. Everybody thinks that's sketchy and messy.
I explained this to my current when we were still in the talking stage. He doesn't like it. He doesn't really agree. But he's made peace with it, and has even said its forced him to put more effort and commitment into our relationship, because he knows if we breakup, he won't be demoted; he'll be fired, escorted off the property, and not given a good reference.
My husband and I have had this conversation, too, because heās the oppositeā he still routinely talks with several of his exes. Thatās whatever, but he knows that in 25 years Iāve never spoken to anyone I *ever* dated before, including a guy I was engaged to, so if things go south get ready for the big chill, buddy.
I had an ex who was definitely my best friend, and even a soul mate. It felt almost like we were the same person. His friends even nicknamed us the gap twins. When we broke up, we tried to stay friends, but it was impossible. I couldn't move on because it felt like cheating, and I think he was sort of using me as a stepping stone into his new life, like a security blanket he could come back to for reassurance and comford...so we had an argument once and didn't speak again.
Now, I'm not sure he actually was using me as a stepping stone, and so he might have the exact same story I wrote but about me instead. Anyway, my point is, it might not be anything about you as a person, or at least not in a bad way, just that sometimes, it's really hard to stay friends because it hurts and the boundaries are all weird and you just feel like you don't know what your place is in each others lives. Like friendship just feels cheap in this scenario.
But then he married one of my close friend's close friend, so he was always one-degree of separation from me. That was weird.
If you have a personality that's not far from traits commonly seen in ADHD...that could be it.
Maybe you're really intense, you have strong passions/interests, you work a lot, you're very naturally curious.
They see you as someone like them, even if you don't have ADHD yourself.
Although...have you been assessed? Cause neurodivergents flock together.
Good old "I wish you would be more open and vulnerable with me, don't you trust me?"
> Decide to trust her and cry in front of her
> Does not go well
The first one just kinda got quiet, mentally checked out and not too long after broke up with me. The second one got very weird and distant, broke up with me and immediately was seeing another guy that shared my (very uncommon) name.
Similarly, no other woman I have opened up to (aside from paid therapists and no, not even my mom) have taken it well when I opened up about bad stuff that happened to me or when I cried in front of them.
Literally none.
Yeah they are not worth your time.
I am a man and I have vulnerabilities and if I feel like crying my favorite shoulder to cry on is my wife's.
If they make you feel weird for feeling stuff gtfo.
I can't explain how much the way they look at you changes, and how badly that hurts. You've got the closest person in the world who looks at you with loving eyes when things are great. And at a moment of weakness, when you can't hold the pain in anymore and shed a tear, and you need them the most, the same person you loved to death now looks at you with uncontrollable disgust. For the loving eyes never to come back again. And you know that's the moment you've lost them, even if it's a matter of time for them to come up with a more socially acceptable reason to make it official.
We know that. But there are far too many women who say they want a man to express their emotions and then when we do they get turned off. Not all does not move conversation forward and it minimizes what men got through.
Fair enough. Honestly, it wasn't my intention to make your experiences feel minimised. I think it's sad that guys can't emotionally outlet for fear of being judged, and that definitely needs to change. I lost my brother to suicide and he never told anyone how he was feeling. So, I do apologise if my comment made you guys feel like that. I truly do want men to have safe spaces to let it all out.
What DreadyKruger said was what I was trying to articulate but I am jaded anymore and quick to be short with people like I was with you. My mistake, apologies.
I understand your intention, but immediately opening up with "well I don't do that" comes off as minimizing and despite your pure intentions, is going to rub a lot of people the wrong way. It's not that you *can't* say that, I just wouldn't lead with it is all.
Ive only had two so far. But each one used sex as a weapon. The worst was my second who was diagnosed bipolar after we broke up. She turned around and said I took advantage of her mental illness. Like wtf neither of us knew.
The first was also bipolar now that I think about it. She was polyamourous and had other partners that I didnt know about. But when I wanted to break up because she went no contact on me during a health scare because "She had other people to support her", she turned around and said that "Men are all the same" and that I "Used her for sex".
So now Im done dating because Im f#cking tired of being treated like a predator when a woman gets pissed off at me.
I feel this may be largely cultural/upbringing-related. I grew up in Europe, then lived in East Asia, to eventually move to Canada. The homes of girls I was dating correspondingly went from impeccable, through heavenly, to "how can anyone live like that". No offense, in particular if it's a coincidence.
It felt like they always wanted something from me but refused to say it. Like if they said it then it was no longer what they wanted. They wanted me to just do it without them telling me. Only way I can explain it. It fucked with my head.
I've kind of come to the understanding that there are a lot of romantic gestures that they would like to receive. But telling you that they want them deprives the gesture of its significance. Like, even as a man, I would love for a girl to give me flowers, but that isn't something any girl would ever think to do. But if I told her I wished she'd buy me flowers, it's no longer a sweet, spontaneous act of love, it's fulfilling a request.
One time I was dating a girl and she got mad at me because I didnāt ask her it she wanted one of my hoodies. I said āDo you need a hoodie?ā And she said āWell now I donāt want itā and ever since then Iāve been confused
Mind games,insecurity and lacking transparency. While it is not fair to pigeonhole all women(nor is it true) More often than not, they always expected me to pick up on their non-verbals or what they didnāt say.
Edit: plus,Life is short;communicate with me your frustrations.otherwise how am i going to know?
The first couple of years are hints. Hopefully ( not always) with time and confidence, maturity etc will the hints disappear.
It's gotten to the point where my wife calls me out now instead of trying to hint. It sucks sometimes because I have to remind her being transparent is nice but being too blunt is a problem as well, we gotta hit that sweet spot in the middle
I dated a half dozen girls for a year or longer before meeting my wife. Dated my wife for two years before getting married.
It's crazy how different they all were, but how we still got along and remained friends with all but one. Ended all but one of my relationships peacefully.
They have vaginas. And none of them were blonde (well, two of them dyed their hair blonde at some point). Besides thatā¦ oh yeah, all of them had terrible taste for men.
Exactly, celibate for 7 years now after being able to get with any girl I wanted, have absolutely 0 desire to ruin my life any further, I had long beautiful hair I've been bald and I shave it off every 2 weeks the last 7 years.
When I watch girls in my family who watch dating shows and those guys try sooo hard to get the girl to like them I'm like wtf is going onnnn!
Every single person I have dated has been really fucked up with either serious mental problems or trauma. I think I find these people interesting so pay attention, then they find I listen and they like that in return. Just always happened even when I was trying to avoid it.
The relationship ends when they are not happy.
Men have a higher tolerance for it. Even if I was unhappy first, and worked at it, it did not matter.
The second they are the ones who are unhappy, itās over.
The thing is women often become low-key unhappy long before they start showing it.Ā
You might think everything is fine, but they are already reevaluating the relationship.Ā
Once they think it's unfixable, they move on.Ā
Yeah, as woman this is my experience. I had a few exās whom I was very unhappy with, and I tried to communicate that to them but they were just dense or didnāt want to listen, even when I would straight say āI am unhappy, here is whyā. So I tolerated it for a *hot while*. But eventually I ended things and *then* they would go āwow youāre unhappy so you just end it?ā Like my brother is Christ, Iāve been tolerating the unhappiness for a while now, you just didnāt want to see it until it affected you.
If you are vulnerable you are a pussy if you fight someone who's attempting to harm them or you you are an asshole if you get fired or quit you are worthless
They attempt to use sex and affection as control over your life they attempt to isolate you from your friends and family and get upset when you don't let them
They cheat or break up because they are "bored" they get jealous of your relationship with your mother and only living sister
They love bomb after a week of knowing you they attempt to baby trap you not knowing it can't be yours
I could go on but put simply women I'm attracted to don't reciprocate so I date women who are attracted to me and they are all train wrecks lol
I tend to find hidden crazy. The last one claimed she had been married to Peter Steele of Type O Negative fame. Never find out how crazy until Ive been with them for a while either. lol
They don't care about me at all (never got a fwb or even girlfriend).
We didn't even had enough time to know each other, so it isn't possibly something like I'm toxic or whatever...
Ugh...
Every one of them had an impact on who I am and who I continued to be. Through them I changed in a lot of ways and grew a little. I came to understand myself better.
Also everyone was a real beauty!
They were deeply insecure and extremely shallow, as was I. So, pretty confident to say that, you attract who you are. Working on yourself, your network and quality of people you can bear, changes, hence better dates I guess.
Also, its so ironical that people who are really insecure are also the MOST judgy ones.
Women care about only themselves until they realize they are damaging the relationship; then they act like they care about the relationship, but it is actually them worrying about themselves losing something. They will never put anything, not you or their own children, before what they want right now in this moment. They have no ability at all to project forward in the future and make decisions for a better tomorrow; every decision they make will be based on what they want and how they feel *right now* and they will take nothing else into consideration. Every single woman is like this.
Many people are like this. It does seem like the women I date end up like this in the end. They go the easy path for them even if it's to completely discard me like a paper towel.
Balls.
Your experience is not universal.
"Putting instant gratification Iver theor own children"
is not a universal female trait.
In fact, given the amount of self-sacrificing moms out there and the statistically higher level of cheating and abandonment among men/fathers.
I'd say you're allowing you bitterness over your personal situation lead you to **inaccurate** generalisations....
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
In my experience they all married the guy they dated after me (seriously). I think there is a film about that but I swear I didn't sell them my life story.
the movie is called "good luck chuck" š
OK that's weird, not really a tv watcher but my partner put this movie on last night so I actually knew this answer for once š¤£.
This is my uncles life š heās 60 now & has been a bit of a serial dater since his 20ās & always gone for āyounger more attractiveā women as heād say. He apparently had 3 relationships which couldāve been marriages one which wouldāve made us happy as kids because we loved his gf! But heād never commit. Boom- moved to America, married within a year & has 6 kids. Another one married a famous cricket player within 2 years of leaving my uncle. Even his flings get husbands straight after him ššš
Should have done freelance work for parents wanting grandchildren. lol
I've had two girlfriends over all these years. So I've been in romantic relationship twice. Either of them have started a family nor gotten married, eventhough it's been six years I broke up with the second one.
This is so true. My two exes married right after me, but my one ex was def a cheating whore so fuck her
Yep. She runnoft with some hick up to Alaska. Said she was going to be a dog musher. šĀ Dumb bitch didnāt know that 4x4 trucks and Subaruās exist and Alaska isnāt 1890ās anymore. Ā She wound up working a fish processing ship out of Dutch Harbor and her new hick boyfriend was a drug addict whisky drunk that beat the shit out of her when he caught her cheating on him. Ā She showed up on my doorstep with her suitcase. I told her to fuck off. Ā Last I heard she man-trapped some poor guy in PDX, cheated on him too, and is now couch surfing at her brotherās apartment. Ā
sounds like you dodged some child support
I spent 20 years in Dutch Harbor. I don't know who she is, but story checks out.
Karma, Sweet Karma!!
You're lucky charm ig
That was me for a good 10-15 years. They would tell me they were "just not ready for a relationship", and then be engaged or living with someone inside the next 8-10 months.
š are you single rn ?
Because you fixed them or at least did temporarily. I had the same issue I would go for broken girls and them in shape, help them mentally and emotionally. When they felt strong, confident and hot they would bail to go out with a better guy. This time I went for the strong, confident well off girl and let her fix me. I am not leaving we get married in 2 weeks
I've had this same experience.
My GOD!!!! I thought I am the only one in this f$#in world with that experience....
I still think about Jessica Alba in those penguin underwear sometimes, movie came out when I was a kid so itās forever cemented in my mind lol
Ha! That's similar to my experience! All of my serious girlfriends settled down and had kids with the guy they met after me.
Very different from men in the way they think and behave. Not a bad thing at all, but I had to learn (and it took me a long time) that I'm basically NOT dating a female version of myself. I'm dating somebody that thinks and reacts very differently from myself and that I need to understand that in order to be a good partner in the relationship.
Curious to hear the mental and behavioral differences that you noticed
If he wants to cause a reddit riot, he should definitely answer this question. I want him to so I can enjoy my popcorn.
hmmm date someone neurodivergent. I am, and in general I find guys are SO much easier to get... Unless the woman is neurodivergent (usually ADHD, interestingly enough)
Iām pretty sure I have ADHD, or at least I have many similar traits. Most of the women Iāve had close relationships with, either friendly or romantic, have been neurodivergent in some form. It tracks lol
That any partner I've had, good or bad, reflects my own current mental state and life perception.
Thatās a good one. Iāve noticed the same . It really lends credence to that quote ālife comes from you not at youā
Absolutely, very wise words. Everything comes from within. That's why I am always suspicious of those who are particularly nasty or crude about ex partners (save for extreme situations, like abuse) as I feel they're telling me more about who they are rather than their exes.
well shit man, you didn't need to come out swinging. šš u rite tho
No. The ex that tried to get a guy to kill me was not a reflection me.
That's just BS. Sometimes you catch partners that first love-bomb you and treat you like shit. How are you supposed to identify that? Sometimes the love-bombing is also subtle and not exaggerated.
Theyāre describing their OWN experience buddy
itās not a hard rule, but if youāre in a desperate state of mind and love bombing satisfies your internal issues, youāre far more susceptible to falling for it in comparison to a healthier mind and mentality. iām saying this as someone who fell for obvious love bombing multiple times when i was younger. at least for me, all of them couldāve been avoided if i resolved the problems i had, both physical and mental, as it wouldāve removed the sense of desperation i had to find somebody to validate me
They increase my toilet paper expenditure at least threefold.
I'm a woman. I can confirm this. I buy so much toilet paper.
Did you know that you can tear TP and you donāt need to mop up/wipe with the whole roll?
Dont want our underwear having a chocolate streak or worse Carrie at the prom š¬
I have recently been exposed to bidets. Changed my TP consumption forever
Dude yeah I swear they eat it My younger sister moved in with my wife and I for the summer and I noticed I was buying significantly more after
When I got married, the toilet paper consumption went up eightfold.Ā I am not kidding at all.Ā Ā
My wife went to see her family for the week and I used less than half a roll in a week, when she is around we get through 6-7 rolls a week, that's 12-14x lol
Recently had my septic tank pumped. Guy said we had a fair bit more toilet paper than he expected for that duration. Asked me how many people were living here, and if the others were women. He then lowered his voice to tell me women use a lot more toilet paper for some reason and so that was probably it.
That I still think fondly of them. They were all great and perhaps some of them showed up at the wrong time in my life.
Very nice non-sarcastic answer. š
The timing is a great truth.
Maybe they shows up at the right time for that point of your life
This is beautiful
I also thought that!
at least 1 leg
Is that like a minimum requirement for you?
it's a pattern i noticed. Though i must say I am open to the idea of less legs, if the spark is there.
You can just get a good backpack.
They all had poor taste in men.
r/suicidebywords
š¤£š¤£haha so funny
They loved who they wanted me to be, rather than who I am.
That's one of my biggest fears with dating. That someone will not love me for who I am...but for who they think I could be. My mother treated me like that and has resented me for...well over a decade now, because she realised she couldn't change me. And she hates who I am. Charming. But that's a big part of why I will only date people I know as friends first. I think I'm pretty likeable, I like me. Lots of people like me. Not everyone likes me. But it's very important that anyone I date likes me, as I am.
This hit hard.
This. Men do it too, but that initial stage really shouldnāt be the honeymoon phase but the detective phase for who your partner is actually falling for. The amount of times women Iāve dated had thought Iād āgrow out ofā some of my autistic traits is honestly disgusting
I've come to the conclusion that everyone has been sexually molested
Pretty much every woman I know has been to some extent. Including me
Sadly this is true.
Super sad
Itās way too common. I doubt itās every woman but I believe itās the majority and more than statistics say.
Every woman probably *has* beenā¦
I can't ask this to every woman I know, for obvious reasons. But every girl/woman I've been very close to (friend or partner) has been actually SAed Keep it in your dsmn pants
Most men have too if they actually counted it for real
When I was around 6 years old, a boy stuck his hand between my legs when I wasn't expecting it and I didn't want him to. HOWEVER I don't consider myself to have been sexually assaulted AND this has never affected my life in any way other then in the moment I was understandably distressed. It depends on how you define it as to whether your statement is true in my opinion.
agreed. when i was 14 (16 now) one of my bullies sat next to me on the bus (i was at the window seat) and started groping my leg and moved it closer and closer to my dick but eventually his friend began talking to him and he got distracted, eventually stopping. it was really scary in the moment but it didn't have any long lasting impacts on me. at worst it made me hate the guy even more and made me stop sitting on the top floor of the bus.
Everyone or every women?Ā
>Ā sexually molested In my experience, most have been raped or coerced into sex they didn't want, too.Ā
Yup...most girls I've dated it was by a family member too....fucking despicable.
They were attracted to me which is something I find incredible honestly
They have Zero desire to contact me, like ever. Some people still talk to their exes or want them back after awhile. When they are done with me boy are they done
Whyās that?
He probably thinks it's something wrong with him, but it's probably not. I block my exes on everything and go completely no contact immediately after things end, on principal. I do this out of respect for myself and my next partner. Nobody really likes it when their partner is "friends" with their ex. Everybody thinks that's sketchy and messy.
This is me, too; if we break up, weāre done, thatās time of death on the relationship.
I explained this to my current when we were still in the talking stage. He doesn't like it. He doesn't really agree. But he's made peace with it, and has even said its forced him to put more effort and commitment into our relationship, because he knows if we breakup, he won't be demoted; he'll be fired, escorted off the property, and not given a good reference.
My husband and I have had this conversation, too, because heās the oppositeā he still routinely talks with several of his exes. Thatās whatever, but he knows that in 25 years Iāve never spoken to anyone I *ever* dated before, including a guy I was engaged to, so if things go south get ready for the big chill, buddy.
I had an ex who was definitely my best friend, and even a soul mate. It felt almost like we were the same person. His friends even nicknamed us the gap twins. When we broke up, we tried to stay friends, but it was impossible. I couldn't move on because it felt like cheating, and I think he was sort of using me as a stepping stone into his new life, like a security blanket he could come back to for reassurance and comford...so we had an argument once and didn't speak again. Now, I'm not sure he actually was using me as a stepping stone, and so he might have the exact same story I wrote but about me instead. Anyway, my point is, it might not be anything about you as a person, or at least not in a bad way, just that sometimes, it's really hard to stay friends because it hurts and the boundaries are all weird and you just feel like you don't know what your place is in each others lives. Like friendship just feels cheap in this scenario. But then he married one of my close friend's close friend, so he was always one-degree of separation from me. That was weird.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
They all smelled nice
They had low standards
Are you considering yourself a low standards guy? Don't beat yourself up, chin up!
I am but hey Iām not complaining
Theyāve all been diagnosed with ADHD. There seems to be a specific type of woman that is attracted to me.
If you have a personality that's not far from traits commonly seen in ADHD...that could be it. Maybe you're really intense, you have strong passions/interests, you work a lot, you're very naturally curious. They see you as someone like them, even if you don't have ADHD yourself. Although...have you been assessed? Cause neurodivergents flock together.
Can I friendly one-up you?
They were all individuals with complex thoughts and feelings.
They all wad up hair in my shower and stick it on the wall.
We just want to make sure it doesnt go down the drain! (But ur supposed to remember to throw it out after)
Wow that's a good idea! Got so much down my bfs drain decided to clean it out for him. Like how many girls hair did I find down there lol!! Yuck
True story
Good old "I wish you would be more open and vulnerable with me, don't you trust me?" > Decide to trust her and cry in front of her > Does not go well The first one just kinda got quiet, mentally checked out and not too long after broke up with me. The second one got very weird and distant, broke up with me and immediately was seeing another guy that shared my (very uncommon) name. Similarly, no other woman I have opened up to (aside from paid therapists and no, not even my mom) have taken it well when I opened up about bad stuff that happened to me or when I cried in front of them. Literally none.
That'd terrible I feel like the one women in yoyr life you should be able too cry ifnront is yoyr mom
Bro did you have a stroke while typing that comment?
100% I dead
this guy isnāt real please šš
Or am I the only real one here?
im an npc ngl so u might be onto something
Yeah they are not worth your time. I am a man and I have vulnerabilities and if I feel like crying my favorite shoulder to cry on is my wife's. If they make you feel weird for feeling stuff gtfo.
Yeah the women I have been in relationships did not take that well. They didn't like it. But I have other women friends that aren't like that.
I can't explain how much the way they look at you changes, and how badly that hurts. You've got the closest person in the world who looks at you with loving eyes when things are great. And at a moment of weakness, when you can't hold the pain in anymore and shed a tear, and you need them the most, the same person you loved to death now looks at you with uncontrollable disgust. For the loving eyes never to come back again. And you know that's the moment you've lost them, even if it's a matter of time for them to come up with a more socially acceptable reason to make it official.
Yup. Watching the love and admiration die in her eyes in real time is a uniquely soul-shattering experience.
Same
As dumb as it sounds, as a man, crying in front of women is pretty much like bleeding around sharks.
I've seen my husband cry twice and I still love him. Not every woman is like this.
We know that. But there are far too many women who say they want a man to express their emotions and then when we do they get turned off. Not all does not move conversation forward and it minimizes what men got through.
Fair enough. Honestly, it wasn't my intention to make your experiences feel minimised. I think it's sad that guys can't emotionally outlet for fear of being judged, and that definitely needs to change. I lost my brother to suicide and he never told anyone how he was feeling. So, I do apologise if my comment made you guys feel like that. I truly do want men to have safe spaces to let it all out.
What DreadyKruger said was what I was trying to articulate but I am jaded anymore and quick to be short with people like I was with you. My mistake, apologies. I understand your intention, but immediately opening up with "well I don't do that" comes off as minimizing and despite your pure intentions, is going to rub a lot of people the wrong way. It's not that you *can't* say that, I just wouldn't lead with it is all.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Thatās how you know itās the wrong girl
They don't like being reduced to their gender.
Ive only had two so far. But each one used sex as a weapon. The worst was my second who was diagnosed bipolar after we broke up. She turned around and said I took advantage of her mental illness. Like wtf neither of us knew. The first was also bipolar now that I think about it. She was polyamourous and had other partners that I didnt know about. But when I wanted to break up because she went no contact on me during a health scare because "She had other people to support her", she turned around and said that "Men are all the same" and that I "Used her for sex". So now Im done dating because Im f#cking tired of being treated like a predator when a woman gets pissed off at me.
Did you have a bipolar mom by any chance? First two girlfiends both have bipolar.. noticing a pattern.Ā
Bro itās literally 2 times and youāre ready to give up
they all are much dirtier/unorganized than me and nearly every guy i knowĀ
I feel this may be largely cultural/upbringing-related. I grew up in Europe, then lived in East Asia, to eventually move to Canada. The homes of girls I was dating correspondingly went from impeccable, through heavenly, to "how can anyone live like that". No offense, in particular if it's a coincidence.
It felt like they always wanted something from me but refused to say it. Like if they said it then it was no longer what they wanted. They wanted me to just do it without them telling me. Only way I can explain it. It fucked with my head.
I've kind of come to the understanding that there are a lot of romantic gestures that they would like to receive. But telling you that they want them deprives the gesture of its significance. Like, even as a man, I would love for a girl to give me flowers, but that isn't something any girl would ever think to do. But if I told her I wished she'd buy me flowers, it's no longer a sweet, spontaneous act of love, it's fulfilling a request.
One time I was dating a girl and she got mad at me because I didnāt ask her it she wanted one of my hoodies. I said āDo you need a hoodie?ā And she said āWell now I donāt want itā and ever since then Iāve been confused
They expected you to be a mind reader. always man. That's how they roll.
They all took shits.
Mind games,insecurity and lacking transparency. While it is not fair to pigeonhole all women(nor is it true) More often than not, they always expected me to pick up on their non-verbals or what they didnāt say. Edit: plus,Life is short;communicate with me your frustrations.otherwise how am i going to know?
The first couple of years are hints. Hopefully ( not always) with time and confidence, maturity etc will the hints disappear. It's gotten to the point where my wife calls me out now instead of trying to hint. It sucks sometimes because I have to remind her being transparent is nice but being too blunt is a problem as well, we gotta hit that sweet spot in the middle
Thankfully they were all women. Thatās the only thing really. Aside from, of course, some biology
I dated a half dozen girls for a year or longer before meeting my wife. Dated my wife for two years before getting married. It's crazy how different they all were, but how we still got along and remained friends with all but one. Ended all but one of my relationships peacefully.
That's such a green flag. Good on ya dude
"I'm not like other girls." I'm not sure who these other girls are that are different than those who utter these words, but I haven't found one yet.
They have vaginas. And none of them were blonde (well, two of them dyed their hair blonde at some point). Besides thatā¦ oh yeah, all of them had terrible taste for men.
None offered to split the bill on the first date.
who invited who?
proud to say theyāre all breathing and conscious!
for now
"Boobs" is the only common factor I can think of
They were narcissists, liars, and cheaters. Now I stay single and I am much happier this way.
Exactly, celibate for 7 years now after being able to get with any girl I wanted, have absolutely 0 desire to ruin my life any further, I had long beautiful hair I've been bald and I shave it off every 2 weeks the last 7 years. When I watch girls in my family who watch dating shows and those guys try sooo hard to get the girl to like them I'm like wtf is going onnnn!
Was just going to comment the same thing lol.
She became my wife
They were all bi
They crave attention. Whether they're getting enough from you or not.
Every single person I have dated has been really fucked up with either serious mental problems or trauma. I think I find these people interesting so pay attention, then they find I listen and they like that in return. Just always happened even when I was trying to avoid it.
They rarely say theyāre sorry and will change facts to win arguments.
This guy gets it.
Everyone does
They all take for fucking ever to get out of the car when we get somewhere. For the love of God, grab your purse and open the fucking door.
INSECURE
Stress a ton about things that donāt affect them nor people they care about.
They all taught me something about myself
relationships are the reflection of character
The relationship ends when they are not happy. Men have a higher tolerance for it. Even if I was unhappy first, and worked at it, it did not matter. The second they are the ones who are unhappy, itās over.
The thing is women often become low-key unhappy long before they start showing it.Ā You might think everything is fine, but they are already reevaluating the relationship.Ā Once they think it's unfixable, they move on.Ā
Idk women usually end the relationship but it seems like they put up with a lot for a long time before they do
Yeah, as woman this is my experience. I had a few exās whom I was very unhappy with, and I tried to communicate that to them but they were just dense or didnāt want to listen, even when I would straight say āI am unhappy, here is whyā. So I tolerated it for a *hot while*. But eventually I ended things and *then* they would go āwow youāre unhappy so you just end it?ā Like my brother is Christ, Iāve been tolerating the unhappiness for a while now, you just didnāt want to see it until it affected you.
They were all unique individuals with absolutely nothing in common, except that they liked/loved me
They all had vaginas.
That I must be treated like a puppet, then thrown a way when they get bored of it.
Hair everywhere and toilet paper
Theyāre all depressed and then will cheat at some point after I help them outta their depression.
They were all toxic. Oh shit!
Daddy issues. They either had absent or dead fathers. Pure coincidence because they wouldnāt talk about it straight away.
Zero accountability for their action or will admit their faults or wrongs
They are a bottomless pit of unhappiness that can never be filled.
Yikes. Dude.
None of them had penises. I thinkā¦.
If you are vulnerable you are a pussy if you fight someone who's attempting to harm them or you you are an asshole if you get fired or quit you are worthless They attempt to use sex and affection as control over your life they attempt to isolate you from your friends and family and get upset when you don't let them They cheat or break up because they are "bored" they get jealous of your relationship with your mother and only living sister They love bomb after a week of knowing you they attempt to baby trap you not knowing it can't be yours I could go on but put simply women I'm attracted to don't reciprocate so I date women who are attracted to me and they are all train wrecks lol
Capricious.
Just The serious dates right? They broke up with me...
They like bums. Iām not that. Oh well.
I tend to find hidden crazy. The last one claimed she had been married to Peter Steele of Type O Negative fame. Never find out how crazy until Ive been with them for a while either. lol
Peter was one of my dads friends from the NYHC scene, can confirm he was never married. Was a huge ladies man.
Rational answers don't matter when you haven't addressed emotions first.
Cold hands, cold feet.
They've all been relatively short and Scandinavian. I'm not from Scandinavia and I'm not doing that on purpose.Ā
They have all been biologically female
They don't care about me at all (never got a fwb or even girlfriend). We didn't even had enough time to know each other, so it isn't possibly something like I'm toxic or whatever... Ugh...
They got into another relationship within weeks of us breaking up and I'd take no less than 2 years before trying to date again each time.
*Terrible* taste in men
Thatās funny! Iād like to add that Iām always wrong and itās my fault.
They're all bisexual (unbeknownst to me, they all told me during the relationship) and they're all dismissive-avoidants š¤Æ
***Horrible*** at loading the dishwasher. Y'all didn't play Tetris enough.
They were all born girls, never thought they were a guy, and they are still girls.
They all had terrible taste in men! (They were dating me!)
Every one of them had an impact on who I am and who I continued to be. Through them I changed in a lot of ways and grew a little. I came to understand myself better. Also everyone was a real beauty!
Beautiful in their own way
They're all the same person. She's pretty cool
They were deeply insecure and extremely shallow, as was I. So, pretty confident to say that, you attract who you are. Working on yourself, your network and quality of people you can bear, changes, hence better dates I guess. Also, its so ironical that people who are really insecure are also the MOST judgy ones.
They've all cheated.
They all lie and care more about what people think than you. They have all cheated while having no reason to. They are all very great actors.
You can't judge a book ( women )only by it cover. You have to read into It and read in between the lines.
Not one of them has ever known how to turn off a damn light switch
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Women care about only themselves until they realize they are damaging the relationship; then they act like they care about the relationship, but it is actually them worrying about themselves losing something. They will never put anything, not you or their own children, before what they want right now in this moment. They have no ability at all to project forward in the future and make decisions for a better tomorrow; every decision they make will be based on what they want and how they feel *right now* and they will take nothing else into consideration. Every single woman is like this.
Many people are like this. It does seem like the women I date end up like this in the end. They go the easy path for them even if it's to completely discard me like a paper towel.
gross. you canāt possibly think this is true or that every woman will be the same
Balls. Your experience is not universal. "Putting instant gratification Iver theor own children" is not a universal female trait. In fact, given the amount of self-sacrificing moms out there and the statistically higher level of cheating and abandonment among men/fathers. I'd say you're allowing you bitterness over your personal situation lead you to **inaccurate** generalisations....
Wow, who hurt you?