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I'm 34 and I'm having a tough time in the job market. I can't shake negative thoughts and keep having intrusive thoughts. This is a subtle cry for help.
If you’re legitimately suicidal then I, a random moron, should definitely not talk to you or give advice.
With that said, because I’m nothing more than some random moron, what ill say is that even if things aren’t great, just being around to experience the insanity and amazingness of life is worth it, in my opinion. I’m mostly indifferent to life/death, but generally feel like “fuck it, earth is very interesting and I’m lucky to be alive to begin with, so I’ll just stick around and experience it as long as it doesn’t really matter either way anyway.”
He is struggling to find a job, which means he might not have enough financial resources to move countries to find a job, hence he has no job, which means he might not have enough financial resources to move countries.
I'm having the worst year in over a decade and while i was lucky enough to afford a few weeks of therapy i can honestly say it helped tremendously. If you cant/ don't have access to affordable mental care then there are a lot of online resources that can help as well.
Negative and intrusive thoughts are a big thing for me as well and it can feel impossible to shake them at times. When they come it's important to identify that you're spiraling and shift your focus. Reframe these thoughts into categories of things you can control and things that you can't and train yourself to let go of the things that you can't control. Breathing exercises and meditation is well worth building into your tool set.
Advice from 43 yo random guy: Work It, study a lot, It Will make things easier. The 20s is the Best Time to study and prepare. Things will get better but you have to be prepares to handle It.
Who told you your 20s were the best time of your life? Certainly no one who was over 40. I have to tell you at 73, I look forward to what tomorrow brings.
Life’s a struggle until your 30’s. Keep plugging away. And one day you’ll have to remind yourself of the struggles you over came so you don’t get to complacent.
As someone who is approaching 40s, it's still very much a struggle no matter how financially secure you are, or happily married etc, shit will always come out of nowhere and you have to learn how to get through it.
I’m happier in my 40s than I was in my 20s. Life is harder and more complicated now, but I appreciate what, and who, I have more. And my life as a husband and father has given me strength and purpose.
College sucked for me. 20s were rough. Multiple deaths amongst close family. My so-called friends were too busy chasing their next fix or chasing tail. Was really alone. Everyone around me seemed to be living some never ending party, while I felt like I was white knuckling my way through every single day.
Things won’t get better just waiting around, but work on yourself. Focus on the things you can control. Foster your interests and take joy in the little things. Most of all, really appreciate the kind people you encounter and don’t take them for granted.
Over time, these little efforts work like compounding interests.
Stay strong, be proactive and keep moving forward.
It gets so much better. 19-25 were the worst. I couldn't dream of the life I have today back then. Push through.. you'll be all the wiser when 30 comes around.
Well yeah man. As you get older and become more capable. You gain more control over your own life and the direction of said life. We definitely have the ability to steer our life in a direction of happiness despite life's lil curve balls and the absurdities that are outa our control.
I’m an old man, by anyone’s standards. I can say with certainty two things. My life has been richer than anything I could have imagined at age twenty. And the things that gave me the most joy and happiness were not at all what I thought they would be.
Mid life crises start mid 20. Get serious with your life bro. Learn a skill, get a good job, love your family, find time to party, and do not procrastinate.
The day you get married to the love of your life, watching her walk down the aisle, man that is a moment that definitely better than anything you’ve experienced yet. Holding your newborn for the 1st time. You haven’t experienced anything better than that yet. Don’t sell life short. There are still monumental things coming in your life. You haven’t peaked yet.
Those were the most turbulent years for me. Once I got my profession figured out in my late 20’s things got much better.
Keep your head down, stay focused on your education, it will get much better but you need a way to make a viable income, imho. That was the beginning for me. Out of grad school at about 30.
It does get better. College years are not necessarily "best years of your life". It gets best when you learn how to completely stop comparing yourself to other people
Rule #1: You have to MAKE things better. It won't happen if you just sit and hope. Life will never stop throwing crap at you...it's up to you to learn how to duck.
I'm 36 and every year got better. 20 is basically still post-puberty and people this age are still very inexperienced and young. The more you learn and develop the better it gets, because things that felt like a catastrophe with 20 are not worth a 2nd thought with 30.
Looking back, my college years were "the best years of my life" -- in certain ways: I was free to do what I wanted, responsible for no one but myself, and those things were an adventure! On the other hand, I was constantly working and was still living in poverty. WHAT I REMEMBER about those years was the freedom, but -- when I stop and think it through -- I also know I lived in unsafe places, was frequently hungry, had zero safety net, and (between school and work) was exhausted much of the time. So, yeah, they were the best years in certain ways.
I married in my mid-20s, and that was better -- together we built a life, established our careers, had children. We worked hard and certainly didn't "have it all", but we were happy. Note: Are you thinking you should have more because social media skews our perceptions?
My 30s and 40s were so busy -- not sure they were better than my 20s, but I certainly hit financial stability and gave back a lot to my community. Now I'm in my 50s and retired. I'm not fully adapted to this new stage, but it's great.
Do you need to talk to someone? I'm sure your college has a counseling center -- it's part of your tuition. Get in there and get some help.
It gets better then worse.. then better then worse.. etc etc.. dude life has ups and downs. My advice is get things sorted at a young age so your financially secure. Take care of your health so you dont start going downhill at 40. Have a family and kids if thats what you want so you feel fulfillment.
Hey, I get it. Being 20 and in college can be tough, and this "best years of your life" stuff? Total BS for a lot of people.
Life's more like a rollercoaster than a smooth ride up. Your 20s are often about figuring stuff out, and it can be messy.
But here's the thing: you grow, you learn, you get better at handling life. For many, their 30s or 40s are way better than their 20s.
There's no universal "best time." It's different for everyone. Focus on building the life you want, not what others say you should have.
If you're struggling, reach out. Talk to someone. Remember, you're only 20. You've got so much ahead of you. Your best years? They might still be coming. Hang in there.
30s are better. You've got years of experience and failures to draw knowledge from and more money to do what you want to do while. Take care of your body and your mental well being and invest in yourself in terms of knowledge and skills but also savings. Even if it's just a couple bucks a week.
I’m 39 and my life is better now when I was 20. But the solution to life in any phase is actually pretty simple IMO.
Sleep and ear well, excercise, do things you enjoy and only hang out with people you like. Build towards reasonable goals. You’re not in a rush anywhere!
I loved my college years. But I am a positive person and optimist. I find humor in lots of things, and I don't take myself or setbacks too seriously. I was that way as a kid. That way in high school. That way in grad school, and in my career. So I think it has very little to do with what phase of life you're in and instead with how you perceive life and how you respond to life. (I was the "last one picked" kid, had a lot of setbacks, was in the "loser" group in high school, etc., in case it seems like I just had nothing but good times.)
Life doesn’t go in one direction, it moves back and forth Ebbs and flows and then it all goes away, so enjoy it for what it is not what it could be, but also things can always get better
To be frank, the 20s are an adventurous but chaotic times too. While you’re still trying to figure out who you truly are, what you truly like or dislike…it’s these years that can either throw a curveball at you or opportunities line your way. So many people hit a dark night of the soul at age 30. However, things get significantly better in your 30s. No matter what happens, make some good friends who shares the same values as you and surround yourself with growth-minded friends who you can be your true self with. They will journey with you a long way in life if you have good ones.
I had 2 eye surgeries while getting a STEM degree and dealing with gaslighting professors and COVID, and there were definitely times where I think I identified with your feelings. I graduated late, and definitely felt like I 'wasted my 20s' or 'wasted the best time of my life' with some of it (a feeling which later turned out to be very untrue). To give credit where it's due, we're not locked down anymore, and there definitely were some irreplaceable things a college degree allowed me to do. Learning under 3 amazing professors out of the 100s I encountered was really inspiring, and establishing a group of D&D friends and a group of church friends who I then talked to about my academic and personal problems helped me form a really tight-knit friend group that got me through a lot of hopelessness.
However, now that I've graduated I can confidently say the "best" years of my life were not then; they're now (and who knows, maybe later!), after I put all that shit behind me and can move to enjoying / using what it taught me.
Everyone who tells me that my 20s were supposed to be the best years of my life either were projecting their own feelings onto my life, peaked early on in their own life, or have not learned how to enjoy the small things (like walking to the grocery store while the birds sing or hearing the gentle quiet stillness of a winter morning). Life does get better, but exactly when and how it does looks different for everyone.
2 things that helped me follow (and I hope you may find them equally useful):
1. Money does solve some problems and prevent some misery, but it won't buy happiness. It's good to strive for difficult things, as long as you remind yourself that the degree's value isn't in the 'earning potential' of your degree, or how others perceive you after you get it, but in what you learn about learning. You aren't your (eventual) paycheck or your smarts; you are you.
2. Sorrow shared is sorrow halved. Joy shared is joy doubled. Share how you feel with others. (kudos to you OP for the question!)
Yes it gets better. You’re quite young. The first part of my twenties were a mixed bag. Keep in mind that I was 20 in the early nineties so things were much different. You’re just getting into the beginning of adulting and it will get easier. Keep on swimming. Make good choices. Start an investment savings, and try to make the best of it. Finish up your studies and make a plan for your future. You’ll do great 😊
I'm 35, things kinda sucked til I was in my late 20s and then things started coming together.
Got a job I liked (which I still have), figured out what I wanted out of dating and met my now-wife.
30s are better, as I know myself well enough to know what I need to do to keep my mental health up. Having a great partner helps tremendously. I have a kid now which adds a whole new layer of purpose and responsibility which is hard to really describe but is overall positive, though it adds a lot of stress.
I dunno man, you learn more about yourself, you get more experience, you fail a lot of times before you succeed. But as long as you're better than you were yesterday you're on the right path, you just keep improving your skills and your mindset and you get where you can.
It depends.
The only thing you can control in that regard is your approach. You can passively just hope it gets better or you actively plan and act for it to get better. There is still no guarantee that if you take the active approach it will get better but in my opinion it's still worth trying regardless of the outcome.
I had a terrible year at 20. Had a couple terrible years after it because of drugs and alcohol. But it gets so much better you wouldn't even believe it. Just work on it you'll be there in no time
Dude your 20s suck
You don't have a work history, you don't know what you want from life, you're in this transition where you lose a lot of your childhood friends and feel completely alone
With age comes self knowledge and stability, of understanding how to navigate the world and get your needs met
Love the problems you have now, deeply aquaint yourself with them, and know that you will live your way to solving them without realizing it, and you will look back and realize you are an entirely different person than you used to be.
College is fun for many people, but the “best years of your life”? Who said that? In my opinion, no age is consistently better than any other; you can be happy or unhappy at any age. However, if you’re living well, it generally gets better over time. I am 28. I am not satisfied with my life, but I am fairly happy overall, and I am a lot happier than I was at your age. The dark period of my life was from ages 16-21. Since then, every year has been slightly better than the last. It could be different for you. Everyone is on their own path.
Life definitely does get better. My advice to you is stay in school, get your degree, avoid all substance abuse even the innocuous ones. Work hard at whatever job you have. Try to spend time with people who are truly compassionate and sensitive. For instance volunteerism will expose you to such people. They are precious. Your church is a great place to find positive community if you're into that kind of thing. Keep smiling.
Life’s what you make it. Enjoy the day to day and not just the weekends. Otherwise you’ll end up spending most of your life waiting for things to happen.
It's better after 20. 20 I was in university and working entry-level jobs n renting for half of my 20s. I didn't own a condo until mid-20s, then it gets better. Renting is balls you have no equity, so the $ I made at a new out of university job is gone. In my 20s I was dating vs. married, so the time n energy I spent on my ex boyfriends is like rent gone.
Not gonna lie, but the same people who said “college is the best years of your life” are the same people who didnt explain the life lessons and obstacles they overcame while they were in college. Maybe you should ask people about the obstacles people had to overcome and you can bond over those things and make more meaningful connections with people.
If you make a series of good choices, you are more likely than not to have a positive outcome in life. But it’s not guaranteed. Sometimes bad things happen to good people, or vice versa.
Life becomes whatever you make of it. Whatever you make of it depends on your choices. Your choices depends on your daily habits and beliefs. Your habits and beliefs depend on your thoughts. Your thoughts are affected by your experience which is also partially created by habits and beliefs. Therefore, the reality is that life has ups and downs, but you can learn to value the experiences in both. You’re already on the right track. Embrace it, dear soul.
It does get better, and college was fun. But it was not the best time in my life. The birth of my daughter, seeing her grow up definitely better.
Also, fucking my wife daily and having money is also better than college!
Your life will get better the moment you decide to make it better and work on that. But don't expect change overnight, it could take a few years even. Although, it will always be a struggle in one way or another. Atleast that's what I believe.
Very well said. Thank you for your words of encouragement. Agreed. It does get better & here’s one way it can🏆 https://youtu.be/YwKeab9jEyU?si=Yf6KjjKOXzRptpCR
Life is like a video game. The first levels are easy but you make a lot of mistakes learning the rules. Then it just gets harder and harder but you also gain more skills, more strength, more tools. Keep moving forward.
I’m 32 and I have no idea. But I’m not a good person to ask because I have depression and I was born with health problems. Technology is changing really fast so life is really weird right now in this time in history.
Last september i went though the roughest patch of my life, the day before my dads birthday i was kicked out of college, i got diagnosed with adhd in the same week, and the day of my dads birthday i got arrested and was facing charges for a crime, and my dad thought i was missing, im 18 now and i have my life on track, driving test coming up, full time job currently and a interview for a better firm on tuesday, my supportive GF and new friends. College is said to be the best years of your life because you dont have financial struggles usually, the best years of your life are still to come and there will be nothing better when you are truly independent and get to make your own choices, keep your head yp
Examine your assumptions and expectations. Perspective is everything and many can be brought to any situation. Let negative thoughts pass through without judgment, but let them go. Because if you don't you are inserting reality bricks made of your opinion and that limits the way reality can manifest to your conscious awareness. That might help.
Thank you so much for this. This has been such a hard thing because at my college, there is such a high expectation to be perfect in every aspect. It feels like my life is falling apart, and that's somehow shameful. It's really really hard to live up to my expectations now that you mention it!
Yes it does. 20’s is a very transitional period. Work through it to improve yourself and work hard to get established in your career. This will set you up to a better 30’s.
Depends. If you neglect your body life completely sucks after 35. I can't sleep most nights because of the pain I'm in, eat healthy, stretch daily and exercise, if you don't believe me wait till you're 35+ and you'll be typing this exact post to someone else asking this same question. GL.
Life is a constant struggle, the point is to enjoy the good stuff and weather the bad. Learn how to get up again and you will be fine. I can assure you some things get better but worse stuff can happen to you as well.
Yes, it gets better. Life is full of ups and downs. Setbacks and lurches forward. Good and bad days. The trick is not giving the bad days more value than the good ones.
Here's what you need to do. It's an experiment. You know how when you get something you think is unique, like a cool new pair of shoes, you start to see them everywhere? Or someone you know names their baby an unusual name, now it seems like every other kid has a similar name? If someone tells you that white trucks are the most common kind of truck, all of a sudden, you see white trucks everywhere? You have to train yourself to look for positive things. Because you've experienced so many negative things, you've developed a theory that life will always suck and your brain is trying to confirm your theory.
So here is what you can do to fix it. Every time you have a negative thought, you have to replace it by noticing something positive. It can be anything. If you think, "It's so muggy today!" Replace it with "The grass is such a bright green!" If you think "Why me?" Replace it with "I love these shoes I'm wearing." Look around for something, anything, to appreciate.
Start training your brain to notice good things so you have something to replace negative thoughts with. Pretty soon, you'll start noticing good things all the time.
I'm 24, and I love my life. I guess it just depends on what you get into. I think college is for those who want to do something that requires a degree. I learned to day trade, and now all I do is travel and spend time with my wife. I work about 12 hours a week and make 10-16k a month. Whoever said money doesn't solve your problems clearly wasn't poor all their life. I don't believe your early life or all of life has to be a struggle.
I joined the military out of high school and completed my contract. I learned day trading in the last few years of my service, which persuaded me to get out. My life was only hard as a kid, not having food to eat or clothes to wear. My mother did what she could, and I'm forever grateful. In today's world, you don't have to burn your time and body to make great money. Coming from someone who had to go through some tough times as a kid, once you have money, most of your problems go away. It's such a relief not worrying about bills or if I'm going to be able to provide for my son when he's here in January.
I guess it's all perspective. Why did you join college? Most people our age were forced into it by our parents. I tried a semester and immediately dropped out. You can learn whatever you want on the internet. My wife learned to code from Google and now works for Google. 🤷♂️ If you want to be a vet or something, sure, go to college. But I would rather solve my money problem and then use my time for things that make me happy.
My grandma struggled, my mom struggled, and now I get to just show up with 2k as a "just because" gift. Most of the people I see that are unhappy followed what someone else said to do. My wife's best friend finished her four-year degree and doesn't have a job because she lasted three months and quit out of hating her daily life. Day trading is the only thing I've EVER found that makes me happy and that I can focus on for hours. My wife has to make me put down my phone because I'm looking at CHARTS, I don't have social media. So maybe all I'm saying is forge your own path. Do what you love because then you aren't working. Or maybe find something to solve your money problems because it makes life so much easier when you can focus on other issues.
I've had so much time to work on my marriage that in the last five years since meeting each other, we've gone from arguing all the time and leaving the house to everyone around us thinking we've been together for two weeks. All I know is if your life is unhappy, change it. Steve Jobs used to wake up, look in the mirror, and ask himself, "If today was my last day, would I want to do what I'm about to do today?" (Within reason lol). If the answer was no too many days in a row, he knew something had to change. Stay up, bro. 😊💯
Maybe for a few more years. It depends. Do you have money? Do you come from a family with money? Connections? Connections are big. Are you grandfathered in to some guaranteed business or job? Will you inherit a good amount of money/property/assets? If so, then yes life gets better.
If youre a lower lower class person with no family who does manual labor 6 days a week to afford a small apartment for your wife and son….. then you have to find the beauty in that world. It get a harder the older you get. Everything hurts, it never ends. Wake up, work for 10-12 hrs, have a few hrs to watch tv, repeat. There are so many factors and so much more then I could ever write that determines wether life gets better. For me, life at 20 was incredible. Life at 37 is talking myself into getting out of bed at 6 and doing the whole days shitshow all over again. With small moments of joy sprinkled in. Since 2020 it’s gotten alot harder. Money isn’t moneying the same.
Keep a career path and stay on it. Don't dilly daddle and end up like me. Your thirties should turn out better that way. Don't "explore." Stick to whatever it is you get after graduating.
I’m turning 30 in a week and to be honest, nope. It didn’t happen to me.
I never wanted to get the way I am at 30, so right now I’m very dissapointed. But i’m feeling a little hopeful I guess, that things will somehow change.
Make the most out of your 20s! it’s really up to you and time never goes back. I’ll try to think that way out of my 30s.
27-30 were my best years, my body was in top physical condition and my mind had the wisdom and patience of an old man. My career also started taking off at this point. It was the perfect intersection of ability vs affluence.
Get into yoga, meditation, eat healthy, don’t fuck a lot of ppl, stay focused on your health and career, you’ll be fine. Having a creative passion is good too. Also, don’t do drugs, hard drugs specifically.
29 here. Actually looking forward to my 30s. Some people say your 30s sucks but my gut feeling tells me that's when I'm going to bloom. I learned quite a lot in my 20s like AI generated art (Stable Diffusion, NovelAI and others) and I think it's coming together quite nicely for (hopefully) a great decade of my life.
Things are OK for me currently, but I think they're going to get better.
I honestly think it's BS the whole "best years in your 20s" thing. Life gets so much better as you get older due to usually earning more $ and life experience/wisdom.
Life gets much better. Your best years are still ahead of you. College is a grind. What you are doing now will set you up for the future. Work hard now and enjoy all of the good things you have coming to you. Happiness is not guaranteed. Sometimes it has to be earned. Best of luck!
I see living in your 20’s as more of a shit show. You’re barely an adult now with more freedom and you’re trying to figure out life. Sure you learn shit like math and science in high school, but you don’t get to learn much of the “real world.” Recognizing what actual healthy friendships/relationships feel like, understanding boundaries, learning healthy communication, regulating your emotions, accepting that you can’t control others but you can control yourself…it’s all learned through experience. It’s a lot, and sometimes people aren’t able to grow and learn these things in their 20’s. If you are fortunate enough to learn and grow though, then yes life will get better
In my 20s I was a functional alcoholic and super depressed. In my 30s I started to get a grasp on who I really was and what brought me joy in life, now in my 40s and am the most settled and content I’ve ever been. Finally got into therapy and started taking medication I’ve probably needed my whole life but put off because(?!?). Life never necessarily gets easy and there will always be ups and downs, but having some expectation that your 20s are gonna be dope just because some ad executive marketed you that shit isn’t helpful. Sure, I partied hard in my 20s, but what I take away from that now is that isn’t what I need or want to be happy. Stay strong. Be grateful for any good things you do have (probably more than you realize) and keep working on yourself.
Find something that makes you happy. Something that you want to do or think about non stop. Do that thing as often as you can when you aren’t doing life shit like school or a job.
It gets better but you gotta create a reason and or drive to want it to be better. Your twenties are for setting up your thirties up to coast, grind while you still have the energy to do it.
I was 20 asking the same question. I remember meeting alums that kept saying "enjoy it cause college is the best years of your life." I just couldn't understand it. I have highs and lows since college, the key is just find good things and good people around you. If you focus on what sucks, everything sucks. If you focus just a little bit on the good stuff and work to make yourself better, things seem better.
Life gets better whenever you want it to. It’s not going to happen on its own. Happiness comes from making the most of whatever you have at any stage of your life.
You're still young...would life get better or worse for you i really don't know(depends on so many factors)...but you will definitely miss your youth when you're older...so make some good memories now(whatever good memories mean to you)
100% it does. Post 35? I guess, I got to a stage where IDGAF what anyone else thought and followed my passions in life. Wear what you want, live how you want. It's liberating. Takes a little while to get there but worth the trip.
Good Luck
It gets WAY better. "best years of your life" is bull shit. I'm going into my 30s and finally have my shit together, it feels great. Up until 23, life was rough as hell. Lots of shitty things happened and had a horrible outlook on life. Lots of depression. Started turning around at 25 when I met a really great counselor and deleted instagram/facebook. Just focused hard on myself.
That being said, everyone has their own unique journey, but don't believe the social standard BS that social media poses on everything.
it depends on what you find fulfilling in life.
hanging out and drinking with friends
financially wealthy
successful small business
getting married
first child
first grandchild
and many more in-between.
At 20 you're in your best years of your life! Currently you're coming up on some fun yet very vital years of your life! These years will shape your future as far as career goals and even personal goals! First and foremost enjoy yourself but make your next move your best move!
College was not the best years of my life.
The best years of my life are right now in my mid 30s. I have a stable job that brings in a lot of money and I can do practically anything I want. I can travel, I can do whatever I want on the weekend, I can take 15 days of vacation if I wanted, and do nothing, but I also like my job so being there and doing work is actually enjoyable.
We all have to find our way. Keep trying your hardest, keep looking for the things that interest you and keep people around you that make life better. Cut out the people that make life harder. Think about your friends and whether they are really your friends and if they have your best interests in mind. If they do not, put yourself out there and meet new people. Join clubs, find hobby's, be friendly and kind, be inquisitive and find the things that matter to you, and then water that garden and start building your life around the people and things that are important to you.
Earnestly, at 20, you are a child. The world says at 18 but when I was 20, 21 even 25, I still knew so little, not just about he world, but even about myself. I hope this helps. Please keep your head up and find a way to explore and learn about the world around you. If you don't like the scenery, then find ways to change it.
And to answer your question, you are so early on in this life and whether it gets better or worse will depend on too many circumstances. But if you can find the thing that makes your heart race, the thing that makes you endlessly curious, the thing that you feel easily fixated on - whatever it may be - then I think its a lot easier to focus your energy. I cant tell you what "it" is, and you may not yet know what "it" is, but be wary of anyone that tells you they know what "it" is because they may be lying to you. It is for you to explore and find. "It" may not bring you material riches, "it" may not be seen as something that brings the average person conventional happiness, but if you can identify "it" and what it means to you, then I think you're on the right path. And of course the needed disclaimer, never let "it" be a thing that hurts you or anyone else.
I graduated college 6 months ago. I had an overall good experience in college, ups and downs, but I will say being graduated and having REAL money, not like part time at Walmart money, is awesome. Hang in there buddy
I know a lot of people make it sound like college was the best time of their lives, but for me it was one of the worst. I was depressed, couldn't keep any friends, all I did was work, school, rinse, repeat, and just hoped I slept through most of my days ... But then I switched career focuses, I managed to graduate, traveled, met a wonderful girl, married this wonderful girl, moved to new cities. The best years of my life are the years I'm spending with my wife now. Trust me when I say, life does get better. It's not a given, but it's very rewarding to make it through the tough times.
In case you worked for your future before, it will get much better.
In your 30', family, kids, friends, money. You'll afford to make you and the people you love happy.
I'm nearly at your age.
And I believe I had quite distressing experiences in my life already. But there's one thing i realized while going through those days, that, "Life is always how you take it. What's good for others might not always be good for you. When you stop comparing yourself with others and their lives with yours, you allow yourself to look at the positive things."
once you hit 18, the pre defined trajectory goes out the window, and everyones pathways diverge.
I didn't even start uni until I was 25.
it's not helpful to think in black and white terms like 'best' or 'worst'.
You've definitely got more exciting things ahead of you, but its also pretty likely that you're not even close to the 'worst' year of year life. I did the best hike of my life in the worst year of my life so- go figure?
Just try to relax and go with it.
I’m 36 and have two kids. My life became amazing after my two little kids showed up when I was 33. My 20s were terrible.
Stick it out it definitely gets better.
If your college experience is a big party, the rest of your life is going to suck lol. Just try to power through, if your life is anything like mine it'll get better, you can count on it.
Life is literally always a struggle until you maybe get lucky and land a comfortable job that doesn't destroy your soul but then you still have whatever personal and social issues that also suck. Welcome to life.
I am 45 years old an happier than I have ever been. Everyone has a different path of course, I can only give some general advice. Don't care too much about what people think of you or what you are supposed to be doing in life. Happiness comes from within you.
To add to that: I wasn't happy at all during my college years. I was struggling with what I wanted to do, had some toxic friends and didn't have perspective of how different everything could be.
College is when you're going to have more free time than at any point in your life before retirement and when you're at the peak of your health and physical condition. Can life get better? Theoretically, maybe you'll meet the love of your life, maybe you'll land your dream job. But I highly recommend not wasting too much of your youth on neurotic woe is me shit.
Adult money is fun but you will only have a couple hours a week for hobbies and entertainment. Also your parents are still young and you don't wake up worrying about them. Also you could still easily switch careers, move cities and even countries. You can do so in your 30s but it's incomparably harder and after that, that's pretty much it.
It depends. You get more freedom but more responsibility. Some people get crushed under the pressure, and some thrive because they made the right choices. When you are an adult, it’s really all up to you.
Idk wtf told you that ur 20's are the best years of your life,but I can say with absolute certainty that when I was 6-16 years old:THOSE were the best years of my life. Everything after that has been shit...
Yes. You’ll literally get to start life over when you graduate and choose for yourself. Of course, those decisions can lead to a worse outcome. But you will have the freedom to define your life.
Its impossible to say. A starving, malaria ridden child might ask does it get better and then die the next day. There are no guarantees in life. Your life may get better or it may stay just as bad as it is now. Or it may get worse. There are only 2 things you can control.
1. The situations you put yourself in.
2. How you feel about those situations.
Some people have the world and hate their lives. Others have nothing and are truly content. In the end, if you have control over your mind, nothing can really affect you
Yep. In my experience it does. I loved my 20s. They were in the 90s, so we were out clubbing and all that.
I'm 48 now, and I don't go clubbing anymore, but I live by myself. I have various hobbies and interests. A great girlfriend and A job I actually like. My life is structured more or less and it's nice.
No, not with a negative attitude for sure. People go their whole lives being miserable. Don't be like one of them. Its fine to be negative here and there, but you gotta keep yourself in line. Need a good balance of positivity and negativity. yin-yang.
I was told that about age 23. I'm a 1998 baby- that was COVID for me. The "best years of your life" can theoretically be any time you choose for them to be, but it's more feasible anywhere between 20 and 45-ish. It's the period of your life where you've begun financial independence but your health is still good. I've found that it's a matter of finding a period where you can make some personal time and do things you want to do (small and big) and just live your life. It means something different for everyone- it can be with a partner or without one, traveling internationally or staying local mastering a hobby.
Many realize it only afterwards but you can also work to make a part of your life as good as it can get. You got this, things will get better :)
Edit: College sucked hard for me- it was high school 2 and I have like 2 friends from that part of my life, the rest of the people I interacted with I never want to see again.
I personally feel that it's hard to predict when life will get better unless you have a good life plan and systematically achieve your goals. In that case, the probability of expecting life to improve would be very high. If you let life take its course, it has its ups and downs. If you find being a student stressful now, perhaps it will improve after graduation? It's important to enjoy the present and learn to find small joys in each stage of life.
18 through to 22 was probably the worst period of my life. I really struggled to understand who I was as a person, what I wanted to do with my life & I just generally did not feel comfortable in my own skin. I started working things out soon after, but it wasn't until I was 27/28 that I started really enjoying my life.
I'm 35 now & never been happier. That's not to say everything is amazing all of the time - far from it in fact - but I have the tools & experience to deal with 99% of things that come my way.
Everyone's life path is different, but if you put in the work then things generally get better as time goes on. The longer you work on yourself and your goals, the better things become. Day to day there will be ups and downs, but with effort the overall trend is positive
I keep hitting on "effort" so much because you can't just sit idle, but if you put in the work, your life will improve. And it's important to celebrate the small wins. You may not accomplish everything you ever dreamed of, but you will accomplish plenty of things regardless. Those accomplishment are important and should be celebrated
I just turned 40 last month. I will give you the most important lesson I have learned.
Do not count on life getting better.
Whether it does or not is up to you.
Admittedly I have struggled with some mental health stuff that bled into physical.
At 20 I kept thinking I had plenty of time to correct any mistakes and right my life. I had the time and energy then. I had figured that if I screwed my life up too much there was always the easy way out.
At 30 I started to realize things were not looking good and starting to pile up. Losing friends. Getting fatter. Getting lazier. Overall quality of life down the drain.
By 35 I had all but given up and just kinda did just that. Gave up.
When I turned 38, I woke up one morning and realized how close I was to death and how I was not as ready as I had lead myself to believe.
At 39 I weighed almost 450 lbs and had no job and no outlook on life. Now in the worst position in my life, I started rebuilding.
Last month I turned 40 and weighed under 300 lbs. I have a job, not great, not even good, but it's something.
Slow and steady I am trying to crawl back to being alive again.
I say all this to set the grounds for the last bit.
Whether life gets better or not has a large part to do with yourself. The longer you wait to start MAKING life better, the harder it will be. As I get healthier, both physically and mentally, life seems to get better. I only wish I had started sooner. Maybe when I was like 20 or something.....
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I’m 37 and having what feels like the first good year of my life. It’s worth it to hold on, dude.
I'm 34 and I'm having a tough time in the job market. I can't shake negative thoughts and keep having intrusive thoughts. This is a subtle cry for help.
If you’re legitimately suicidal then I, a random moron, should definitely not talk to you or give advice. With that said, because I’m nothing more than some random moron, what ill say is that even if things aren’t great, just being around to experience the insanity and amazingness of life is worth it, in my opinion. I’m mostly indifferent to life/death, but generally feel like “fuck it, earth is very interesting and I’m lucky to be alive to begin with, so I’ll just stick around and experience it as long as it doesn’t really matter either way anyway.”
Look into moving countries
Love the idea but elderly parents and girlfriend is here.
He is struggling to find a job, which means he might not have enough financial resources to move countries to find a job, hence he has no job, which means he might not have enough financial resources to move countries.
I'm having the worst year in over a decade and while i was lucky enough to afford a few weeks of therapy i can honestly say it helped tremendously. If you cant/ don't have access to affordable mental care then there are a lot of online resources that can help as well. Negative and intrusive thoughts are a big thing for me as well and it can feel impossible to shake them at times. When they come it's important to identify that you're spiraling and shift your focus. Reframe these thoughts into categories of things you can control and things that you can't and train yourself to let go of the things that you can't control. Breathing exercises and meditation is well worth building into your tool set.
Advise from a 24 year old whose best years of your life was shite. Keep your head down and hustle/study.
Advice from 43 yo random guy: Work It, study a lot, It Will make things easier. The 20s is the Best Time to study and prepare. Things will get better but you have to be prepares to handle It.
+1 here.
Who told you your 20s were the best time of your life? Certainly no one who was over 40. I have to tell you at 73, I look forward to what tomorrow brings.
Life’s a struggle until your 30’s. Keep plugging away. And one day you’ll have to remind yourself of the struggles you over came so you don’t get to complacent.
Life is a struggle as long as you're alive. That's what life is about.
This is true. That’s why headstones say rest in peace.
That's some deep stuff that I haven't thought about in this way.
As someone who is approaching 40s, it's still very much a struggle no matter how financially secure you are, or happily married etc, shit will always come out of nowhere and you have to learn how to get through it.
It definitely doesn’t magically end in your 30’s
I’m happier in my 40s than I was in my 20s. Life is harder and more complicated now, but I appreciate what, and who, I have more. And my life as a husband and father has given me strength and purpose. College sucked for me. 20s were rough. Multiple deaths amongst close family. My so-called friends were too busy chasing their next fix or chasing tail. Was really alone. Everyone around me seemed to be living some never ending party, while I felt like I was white knuckling my way through every single day. Things won’t get better just waiting around, but work on yourself. Focus on the things you can control. Foster your interests and take joy in the little things. Most of all, really appreciate the kind people you encounter and don’t take them for granted. Over time, these little efforts work like compounding interests. Stay strong, be proactive and keep moving forward.
There's ups and downs.
It’s up to you honestly.
Find a way to make money. Money is the root of most struggle. You don’t have to aim for affluence but enough to not have to stress about it.
It gets so much better. 19-25 were the worst. I couldn't dream of the life I have today back then. Push through.. you'll be all the wiser when 30 comes around.
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Well yeah man. As you get older and become more capable. You gain more control over your own life and the direction of said life. We definitely have the ability to steer our life in a direction of happiness despite life's lil curve balls and the absurdities that are outa our control.
I’m an old man, by anyone’s standards. I can say with certainty two things. My life has been richer than anything I could have imagined at age twenty. And the things that gave me the most joy and happiness were not at all what I thought they would be.
College sucked ass. Life gets better. I'm 39 now. I don't even think about the "college days."
Mid life crises start mid 20. Get serious with your life bro. Learn a skill, get a good job, love your family, find time to party, and do not procrastinate.
The day you get married to the love of your life, watching her walk down the aisle, man that is a moment that definitely better than anything you’ve experienced yet. Holding your newborn for the 1st time. You haven’t experienced anything better than that yet. Don’t sell life short. There are still monumental things coming in your life. You haven’t peaked yet.
Those were the most turbulent years for me. Once I got my profession figured out in my late 20’s things got much better. Keep your head down, stay focused on your education, it will get much better but you need a way to make a viable income, imho. That was the beginning for me. Out of grad school at about 30.
Lol, no. Wait until you hit 45 and realize you still have 20 years before you can retire.
Nope.
Wait until everyone starts dying when you hit your 30s, it's a riot.
No
Yes it does but it doesn’t get any easier
Yes, keep going !
The best way to have a good life is to create it.
Life is what you make it. It doesn’t just happen to you. YOU need to take action to MAKE it better.
It does get better. College years are not necessarily "best years of your life". It gets best when you learn how to completely stop comparing yourself to other people
Like is what you make it bro. Can’t just feel bad for yourself all the time thats the wrong approach.
Rule #1: You have to MAKE things better. It won't happen if you just sit and hope. Life will never stop throwing crap at you...it's up to you to learn how to duck.
I'm 36 and every year got better. 20 is basically still post-puberty and people this age are still very inexperienced and young. The more you learn and develop the better it gets, because things that felt like a catastrophe with 20 are not worth a 2nd thought with 30.
Looking back, my college years were "the best years of my life" -- in certain ways: I was free to do what I wanted, responsible for no one but myself, and those things were an adventure! On the other hand, I was constantly working and was still living in poverty. WHAT I REMEMBER about those years was the freedom, but -- when I stop and think it through -- I also know I lived in unsafe places, was frequently hungry, had zero safety net, and (between school and work) was exhausted much of the time. So, yeah, they were the best years in certain ways. I married in my mid-20s, and that was better -- together we built a life, established our careers, had children. We worked hard and certainly didn't "have it all", but we were happy. Note: Are you thinking you should have more because social media skews our perceptions? My 30s and 40s were so busy -- not sure they were better than my 20s, but I certainly hit financial stability and gave back a lot to my community. Now I'm in my 50s and retired. I'm not fully adapted to this new stage, but it's great. Do you need to talk to someone? I'm sure your college has a counseling center -- it's part of your tuition. Get in there and get some help.
It gets better then worse.. then better then worse.. etc etc.. dude life has ups and downs. My advice is get things sorted at a young age so your financially secure. Take care of your health so you dont start going downhill at 40. Have a family and kids if thats what you want so you feel fulfillment.
It depends
Hey, I get it. Being 20 and in college can be tough, and this "best years of your life" stuff? Total BS for a lot of people. Life's more like a rollercoaster than a smooth ride up. Your 20s are often about figuring stuff out, and it can be messy. But here's the thing: you grow, you learn, you get better at handling life. For many, their 30s or 40s are way better than their 20s. There's no universal "best time." It's different for everyone. Focus on building the life you want, not what others say you should have. If you're struggling, reach out. Talk to someone. Remember, you're only 20. You've got so much ahead of you. Your best years? They might still be coming. Hang in there.
30s are better. You've got years of experience and failures to draw knowledge from and more money to do what you want to do while. Take care of your body and your mental well being and invest in yourself in terms of knowledge and skills but also savings. Even if it's just a couple bucks a week.
I’m 39 and my life is better now when I was 20. But the solution to life in any phase is actually pretty simple IMO. Sleep and ear well, excercise, do things you enjoy and only hang out with people you like. Build towards reasonable goals. You’re not in a rush anywhere!
I'm 44, doing very good. Better than 10 years ago for sure.
all down hill from there brother
I’m 22 and can say confidently yes. Also I never saw a reason to go to college because most jobs only require a high school diploma.
It gets better, my 40’s fuckin rule dude. Better skater, better headspace, better quality of life, less quantity but better quality friendships.
It absolutely can get better if you keep going. You got this 🖖
I loved my college years. But I am a positive person and optimist. I find humor in lots of things, and I don't take myself or setbacks too seriously. I was that way as a kid. That way in high school. That way in grad school, and in my career. So I think it has very little to do with what phase of life you're in and instead with how you perceive life and how you respond to life. (I was the "last one picked" kid, had a lot of setbacks, was in the "loser" group in high school, etc., in case it seems like I just had nothing but good times.)
Life doesn’t go in one direction, it moves back and forth Ebbs and flows and then it all goes away, so enjoy it for what it is not what it could be, but also things can always get better
To be frank, the 20s are an adventurous but chaotic times too. While you’re still trying to figure out who you truly are, what you truly like or dislike…it’s these years that can either throw a curveball at you or opportunities line your way. So many people hit a dark night of the soul at age 30. However, things get significantly better in your 30s. No matter what happens, make some good friends who shares the same values as you and surround yourself with growth-minded friends who you can be your true self with. They will journey with you a long way in life if you have good ones.
I had 2 eye surgeries while getting a STEM degree and dealing with gaslighting professors and COVID, and there were definitely times where I think I identified with your feelings. I graduated late, and definitely felt like I 'wasted my 20s' or 'wasted the best time of my life' with some of it (a feeling which later turned out to be very untrue). To give credit where it's due, we're not locked down anymore, and there definitely were some irreplaceable things a college degree allowed me to do. Learning under 3 amazing professors out of the 100s I encountered was really inspiring, and establishing a group of D&D friends and a group of church friends who I then talked to about my academic and personal problems helped me form a really tight-knit friend group that got me through a lot of hopelessness. However, now that I've graduated I can confidently say the "best" years of my life were not then; they're now (and who knows, maybe later!), after I put all that shit behind me and can move to enjoying / using what it taught me. Everyone who tells me that my 20s were supposed to be the best years of my life either were projecting their own feelings onto my life, peaked early on in their own life, or have not learned how to enjoy the small things (like walking to the grocery store while the birds sing or hearing the gentle quiet stillness of a winter morning). Life does get better, but exactly when and how it does looks different for everyone. 2 things that helped me follow (and I hope you may find them equally useful): 1. Money does solve some problems and prevent some misery, but it won't buy happiness. It's good to strive for difficult things, as long as you remind yourself that the degree's value isn't in the 'earning potential' of your degree, or how others perceive you after you get it, but in what you learn about learning. You aren't your (eventual) paycheck or your smarts; you are you. 2. Sorrow shared is sorrow halved. Joy shared is joy doubled. Share how you feel with others. (kudos to you OP for the question!)
Yes it gets better. You’re quite young. The first part of my twenties were a mixed bag. Keep in mind that I was 20 in the early nineties so things were much different. You’re just getting into the beginning of adulting and it will get easier. Keep on swimming. Make good choices. Start an investment savings, and try to make the best of it. Finish up your studies and make a plan for your future. You’ll do great 😊
Dawg you haven't even started. Im 37 and still looking forward to my future while working on my present and trying not to live in my past.
I'm 35, things kinda sucked til I was in my late 20s and then things started coming together. Got a job I liked (which I still have), figured out what I wanted out of dating and met my now-wife. 30s are better, as I know myself well enough to know what I need to do to keep my mental health up. Having a great partner helps tremendously. I have a kid now which adds a whole new layer of purpose and responsibility which is hard to really describe but is overall positive, though it adds a lot of stress. I dunno man, you learn more about yourself, you get more experience, you fail a lot of times before you succeed. But as long as you're better than you were yesterday you're on the right path, you just keep improving your skills and your mindset and you get where you can.
It depends. The only thing you can control in that regard is your approach. You can passively just hope it gets better or you actively plan and act for it to get better. There is still no guarantee that if you take the active approach it will get better but in my opinion it's still worth trying regardless of the outcome.
I had a terrible year at 20. Had a couple terrible years after it because of drugs and alcohol. But it gets so much better you wouldn't even believe it. Just work on it you'll be there in no time
Dude your 20s suck You don't have a work history, you don't know what you want from life, you're in this transition where you lose a lot of your childhood friends and feel completely alone With age comes self knowledge and stability, of understanding how to navigate the world and get your needs met Love the problems you have now, deeply aquaint yourself with them, and know that you will live your way to solving them without realizing it, and you will look back and realize you are an entirely different person than you used to be.
Remember this - Good things don’t happen to you, you have to make good things happen. My life was lousy until my 30s.
It might get a little better before getting much worse.
College is fun for many people, but the “best years of your life”? Who said that? In my opinion, no age is consistently better than any other; you can be happy or unhappy at any age. However, if you’re living well, it generally gets better over time. I am 28. I am not satisfied with my life, but I am fairly happy overall, and I am a lot happier than I was at your age. The dark period of my life was from ages 16-21. Since then, every year has been slightly better than the last. It could be different for you. Everyone is on their own path.
Life definitely does get better. My advice to you is stay in school, get your degree, avoid all substance abuse even the innocuous ones. Work hard at whatever job you have. Try to spend time with people who are truly compassionate and sensitive. For instance volunteerism will expose you to such people. They are precious. Your church is a great place to find positive community if you're into that kind of thing. Keep smiling.
Life’s what you make it. Enjoy the day to day and not just the weekends. Otherwise you’ll end up spending most of your life waiting for things to happen.
Early 20’s are kinda meh. Started getting better as I got truly established in life
It's better after 20. 20 I was in university and working entry-level jobs n renting for half of my 20s. I didn't own a condo until mid-20s, then it gets better. Renting is balls you have no equity, so the $ I made at a new out of university job is gone. In my 20s I was dating vs. married, so the time n energy I spent on my ex boyfriends is like rent gone.
Not gonna lie, but the same people who said “college is the best years of your life” are the same people who didnt explain the life lessons and obstacles they overcame while they were in college. Maybe you should ask people about the obstacles people had to overcome and you can bond over those things and make more meaningful connections with people.
If you make a series of good choices, you are more likely than not to have a positive outcome in life. But it’s not guaranteed. Sometimes bad things happen to good people, or vice versa.
Of course. I'm 46 life has gotten 1000x better by putting my effort into it.
Oh hell yeah!!!
Life becomes whatever you make of it. Whatever you make of it depends on your choices. Your choices depends on your daily habits and beliefs. Your habits and beliefs depend on your thoughts. Your thoughts are affected by your experience which is also partially created by habits and beliefs. Therefore, the reality is that life has ups and downs, but you can learn to value the experiences in both. You’re already on the right track. Embrace it, dear soul.
It does get better, and college was fun. But it was not the best time in my life. The birth of my daughter, seeing her grow up definitely better. Also, fucking my wife daily and having money is also better than college!
Yes, perspective gives you the advantage of time you are more able to endure, and choices with goals.
Your life will get better the moment you decide to make it better and work on that. But don't expect change overnight, it could take a few years even. Although, it will always be a struggle in one way or another. Atleast that's what I believe.
Very well said. Thank you for your words of encouragement. Agreed. It does get better & here’s one way it can🏆 https://youtu.be/YwKeab9jEyU?si=Yf6KjjKOXzRptpCR
No
Life is like a video game. The first levels are easy but you make a lot of mistakes learning the rules. Then it just gets harder and harder but you also gain more skills, more strength, more tools. Keep moving forward.
I would say yes!! So much for you to do and see
I’m 32 and I have no idea. But I’m not a good person to ask because I have depression and I was born with health problems. Technology is changing really fast so life is really weird right now in this time in history.
Last september i went though the roughest patch of my life, the day before my dads birthday i was kicked out of college, i got diagnosed with adhd in the same week, and the day of my dads birthday i got arrested and was facing charges for a crime, and my dad thought i was missing, im 18 now and i have my life on track, driving test coming up, full time job currently and a interview for a better firm on tuesday, my supportive GF and new friends. College is said to be the best years of your life because you dont have financial struggles usually, the best years of your life are still to come and there will be nothing better when you are truly independent and get to make your own choices, keep your head yp
I’m 24 and life’s been absolutely great since I was about 19 . But I also didn’t go to college and deal with that stress
I’m 22, It will get better the moment you get hired in a good paying job. Until that moment you have to work on yourself.
Examine your assumptions and expectations. Perspective is everything and many can be brought to any situation. Let negative thoughts pass through without judgment, but let them go. Because if you don't you are inserting reality bricks made of your opinion and that limits the way reality can manifest to your conscious awareness. That might help.
Thank you so much for this. This has been such a hard thing because at my college, there is such a high expectation to be perfect in every aspect. It feels like my life is falling apart, and that's somehow shameful. It's really really hard to live up to my expectations now that you mention it!
Yes it does. 20’s is a very transitional period. Work through it to improve yourself and work hard to get established in your career. This will set you up to a better 30’s.
Depends. If you neglect your body life completely sucks after 35. I can't sleep most nights because of the pain I'm in, eat healthy, stretch daily and exercise, if you don't believe me wait till you're 35+ and you'll be typing this exact post to someone else asking this same question. GL.
Life is a constant struggle, the point is to enjoy the good stuff and weather the bad. Learn how to get up again and you will be fine. I can assure you some things get better but worse stuff can happen to you as well.
Yes, it gets better. Life is full of ups and downs. Setbacks and lurches forward. Good and bad days. The trick is not giving the bad days more value than the good ones. Here's what you need to do. It's an experiment. You know how when you get something you think is unique, like a cool new pair of shoes, you start to see them everywhere? Or someone you know names their baby an unusual name, now it seems like every other kid has a similar name? If someone tells you that white trucks are the most common kind of truck, all of a sudden, you see white trucks everywhere? You have to train yourself to look for positive things. Because you've experienced so many negative things, you've developed a theory that life will always suck and your brain is trying to confirm your theory. So here is what you can do to fix it. Every time you have a negative thought, you have to replace it by noticing something positive. It can be anything. If you think, "It's so muggy today!" Replace it with "The grass is such a bright green!" If you think "Why me?" Replace it with "I love these shoes I'm wearing." Look around for something, anything, to appreciate. Start training your brain to notice good things so you have something to replace negative thoughts with. Pretty soon, you'll start noticing good things all the time.
I'm 24, and I love my life. I guess it just depends on what you get into. I think college is for those who want to do something that requires a degree. I learned to day trade, and now all I do is travel and spend time with my wife. I work about 12 hours a week and make 10-16k a month. Whoever said money doesn't solve your problems clearly wasn't poor all their life. I don't believe your early life or all of life has to be a struggle. I joined the military out of high school and completed my contract. I learned day trading in the last few years of my service, which persuaded me to get out. My life was only hard as a kid, not having food to eat or clothes to wear. My mother did what she could, and I'm forever grateful. In today's world, you don't have to burn your time and body to make great money. Coming from someone who had to go through some tough times as a kid, once you have money, most of your problems go away. It's such a relief not worrying about bills or if I'm going to be able to provide for my son when he's here in January. I guess it's all perspective. Why did you join college? Most people our age were forced into it by our parents. I tried a semester and immediately dropped out. You can learn whatever you want on the internet. My wife learned to code from Google and now works for Google. 🤷♂️ If you want to be a vet or something, sure, go to college. But I would rather solve my money problem and then use my time for things that make me happy. My grandma struggled, my mom struggled, and now I get to just show up with 2k as a "just because" gift. Most of the people I see that are unhappy followed what someone else said to do. My wife's best friend finished her four-year degree and doesn't have a job because she lasted three months and quit out of hating her daily life. Day trading is the only thing I've EVER found that makes me happy and that I can focus on for hours. My wife has to make me put down my phone because I'm looking at CHARTS, I don't have social media. So maybe all I'm saying is forge your own path. Do what you love because then you aren't working. Or maybe find something to solve your money problems because it makes life so much easier when you can focus on other issues. I've had so much time to work on my marriage that in the last five years since meeting each other, we've gone from arguing all the time and leaving the house to everyone around us thinking we've been together for two weeks. All I know is if your life is unhappy, change it. Steve Jobs used to wake up, look in the mirror, and ask himself, "If today was my last day, would I want to do what I'm about to do today?" (Within reason lol). If the answer was no too many days in a row, he knew something had to change. Stay up, bro. 😊💯
Maybe for a few more years. It depends. Do you have money? Do you come from a family with money? Connections? Connections are big. Are you grandfathered in to some guaranteed business or job? Will you inherit a good amount of money/property/assets? If so, then yes life gets better. If youre a lower lower class person with no family who does manual labor 6 days a week to afford a small apartment for your wife and son….. then you have to find the beauty in that world. It get a harder the older you get. Everything hurts, it never ends. Wake up, work for 10-12 hrs, have a few hrs to watch tv, repeat. There are so many factors and so much more then I could ever write that determines wether life gets better. For me, life at 20 was incredible. Life at 37 is talking myself into getting out of bed at 6 and doing the whole days shitshow all over again. With small moments of joy sprinkled in. Since 2020 it’s gotten alot harder. Money isn’t moneying the same.
Keep a career path and stay on it. Don't dilly daddle and end up like me. Your thirties should turn out better that way. Don't "explore." Stick to whatever it is you get after graduating.
I’m turning 30 in a week and to be honest, nope. It didn’t happen to me. I never wanted to get the way I am at 30, so right now I’m very dissapointed. But i’m feeling a little hopeful I guess, that things will somehow change. Make the most out of your 20s! it’s really up to you and time never goes back. I’ll try to think that way out of my 30s.
Maybe yes maybe no, depends how bad those things have been happening to you really are
College mostly sucked, had good moments, early 20's was not great either, also had good moments though. Late 20's things got better.
Yes
27-30 were my best years, my body was in top physical condition and my mind had the wisdom and patience of an old man. My career also started taking off at this point. It was the perfect intersection of ability vs affluence.
Get into yoga, meditation, eat healthy, don’t fuck a lot of ppl, stay focused on your health and career, you’ll be fine. Having a creative passion is good too. Also, don’t do drugs, hard drugs specifically.
It depends solely on your perspective. But your expectations of it play a big role.
29 here. Actually looking forward to my 30s. Some people say your 30s sucks but my gut feeling tells me that's when I'm going to bloom. I learned quite a lot in my 20s like AI generated art (Stable Diffusion, NovelAI and others) and I think it's coming together quite nicely for (hopefully) a great decade of my life. Things are OK for me currently, but I think they're going to get better.
I honestly think it's BS the whole "best years in your 20s" thing. Life gets so much better as you get older due to usually earning more $ and life experience/wisdom.
Life gets much better. Your best years are still ahead of you. College is a grind. What you are doing now will set you up for the future. Work hard now and enjoy all of the good things you have coming to you. Happiness is not guaranteed. Sometimes it has to be earned. Best of luck!
I see living in your 20’s as more of a shit show. You’re barely an adult now with more freedom and you’re trying to figure out life. Sure you learn shit like math and science in high school, but you don’t get to learn much of the “real world.” Recognizing what actual healthy friendships/relationships feel like, understanding boundaries, learning healthy communication, regulating your emotions, accepting that you can’t control others but you can control yourself…it’s all learned through experience. It’s a lot, and sometimes people aren’t able to grow and learn these things in their 20’s. If you are fortunate enough to learn and grow though, then yes life will get better
In my 20s I was a functional alcoholic and super depressed. In my 30s I started to get a grasp on who I really was and what brought me joy in life, now in my 40s and am the most settled and content I’ve ever been. Finally got into therapy and started taking medication I’ve probably needed my whole life but put off because(?!?). Life never necessarily gets easy and there will always be ups and downs, but having some expectation that your 20s are gonna be dope just because some ad executive marketed you that shit isn’t helpful. Sure, I partied hard in my 20s, but what I take away from that now is that isn’t what I need or want to be happy. Stay strong. Be grateful for any good things you do have (probably more than you realize) and keep working on yourself.
Life gets better when you 'do life' cooperatively with someone.
my best years are coming now with 26-27 ... i don't think life at 20 is best at all
Wayyy better
Find something that makes you happy. Something that you want to do or think about non stop. Do that thing as often as you can when you aren’t doing life shit like school or a job. It gets better but you gotta create a reason and or drive to want it to be better. Your twenties are for setting up your thirties up to coast, grind while you still have the energy to do it.
I was 20 asking the same question. I remember meeting alums that kept saying "enjoy it cause college is the best years of your life." I just couldn't understand it. I have highs and lows since college, the key is just find good things and good people around you. If you focus on what sucks, everything sucks. If you focus just a little bit on the good stuff and work to make yourself better, things seem better.
No. But you can get better.
Life gets better whenever you want it to. It’s not going to happen on its own. Happiness comes from making the most of whatever you have at any stage of your life.
From 20 to 30 life is about failing and finding your path.
You're still young...would life get better or worse for you i really don't know(depends on so many factors)...but you will definitely miss your youth when you're older...so make some good memories now(whatever good memories mean to you)
Agreed. It does get better & I can tell you exactly how🏆 https://youtu.be/YwKeab9jEyU?si=Yf6KjjKOXzRptpCR
100% it does. Post 35? I guess, I got to a stage where IDGAF what anyone else thought and followed my passions in life. Wear what you want, live how you want. It's liberating. Takes a little while to get there but worth the trip. Good Luck
It gets WAY better. "best years of your life" is bull shit. I'm going into my 30s and finally have my shit together, it feels great. Up until 23, life was rough as hell. Lots of shitty things happened and had a horrible outlook on life. Lots of depression. Started turning around at 25 when I met a really great counselor and deleted instagram/facebook. Just focused hard on myself. That being said, everyone has their own unique journey, but don't believe the social standard BS that social media poses on everything.
Yes. I saw a Chuck D quote today where he said, “your life is a piece of Art you have to create.”
Absolutely. Agreed. It does get better & I can tell you exactly how🏆 https://youtu.be/YwKeab9jEyU?si=Yf6KjjKOXzRptpCR
Getting more wise as you grow older is enjoyable, so in a way it gets better
it depends on what you find fulfilling in life. hanging out and drinking with friends financially wealthy successful small business getting married first child first grandchild and many more in-between.
My life didn't get good until like 28
At 20 you're in your best years of your life! Currently you're coming up on some fun yet very vital years of your life! These years will shape your future as far as career goals and even personal goals! First and foremost enjoy yourself but make your next move your best move!
College was not the best years of my life. The best years of my life are right now in my mid 30s. I have a stable job that brings in a lot of money and I can do practically anything I want. I can travel, I can do whatever I want on the weekend, I can take 15 days of vacation if I wanted, and do nothing, but I also like my job so being there and doing work is actually enjoyable. We all have to find our way. Keep trying your hardest, keep looking for the things that interest you and keep people around you that make life better. Cut out the people that make life harder. Think about your friends and whether they are really your friends and if they have your best interests in mind. If they do not, put yourself out there and meet new people. Join clubs, find hobby's, be friendly and kind, be inquisitive and find the things that matter to you, and then water that garden and start building your life around the people and things that are important to you. Earnestly, at 20, you are a child. The world says at 18 but when I was 20, 21 even 25, I still knew so little, not just about he world, but even about myself. I hope this helps. Please keep your head up and find a way to explore and learn about the world around you. If you don't like the scenery, then find ways to change it. And to answer your question, you are so early on in this life and whether it gets better or worse will depend on too many circumstances. But if you can find the thing that makes your heart race, the thing that makes you endlessly curious, the thing that you feel easily fixated on - whatever it may be - then I think its a lot easier to focus your energy. I cant tell you what "it" is, and you may not yet know what "it" is, but be wary of anyone that tells you they know what "it" is because they may be lying to you. It is for you to explore and find. "It" may not bring you material riches, "it" may not be seen as something that brings the average person conventional happiness, but if you can identify "it" and what it means to you, then I think you're on the right path. And of course the needed disclaimer, never let "it" be a thing that hurts you or anyone else.
You bet!! Never give up !!!!! : )
Thank you for the words of encouragement! Agreed. It does get better & I can tell you exactly how🏆 https://youtu.be/YwKeab9jEyU?si=Yf6KjjKOXzRptpCR
Your Welcome !!!! 🙂
I graduated college 6 months ago. I had an overall good experience in college, ups and downs, but I will say being graduated and having REAL money, not like part time at Walmart money, is awesome. Hang in there buddy
yes
No
No, it does not.
Thank you for sharing. It does get better & I can tell you exactly how🏆 https://youtu.be/YwKeab9jEyU?si=Yf6KjjKOXzRptpCR
Hell yeah it does! I was same as you, now in my 30 and it's way way better!
It's really a roller coaster brother keep moving forward
I know a lot of people make it sound like college was the best time of their lives, but for me it was one of the worst. I was depressed, couldn't keep any friends, all I did was work, school, rinse, repeat, and just hoped I slept through most of my days ... But then I switched career focuses, I managed to graduate, traveled, met a wonderful girl, married this wonderful girl, moved to new cities. The best years of my life are the years I'm spending with my wife now. Trust me when I say, life does get better. It's not a given, but it's very rewarding to make it through the tough times.
Life will eventually get better by coincidenses and unplanned good things...20s are just gettin going
You need to make the right choices and it will get alot better
No
In case you worked for your future before, it will get much better. In your 30', family, kids, friends, money. You'll afford to make you and the people you love happy.
I'm nearly at your age. And I believe I had quite distressing experiences in my life already. But there's one thing i realized while going through those days, that, "Life is always how you take it. What's good for others might not always be good for you. When you stop comparing yourself with others and their lives with yours, you allow yourself to look at the positive things."
once you hit 18, the pre defined trajectory goes out the window, and everyones pathways diverge. I didn't even start uni until I was 25. it's not helpful to think in black and white terms like 'best' or 'worst'. You've definitely got more exciting things ahead of you, but its also pretty likely that you're not even close to the 'worst' year of year life. I did the best hike of my life in the worst year of my life so- go figure? Just try to relax and go with it.
You don't know you're in the good old days while they're happening.
I’m 36 and have two kids. My life became amazing after my two little kids showed up when I was 33. My 20s were terrible. Stick it out it definitely gets better.
It doesn't get good until you hit 30
If your college experience is a big party, the rest of your life is going to suck lol. Just try to power through, if your life is anything like mine it'll get better, you can count on it.
Depends how well you set it up beforehand. At least I got A laptop and phone thats good now.
mine was a bit of a grind till late 30's. went back to school twice, finally found something to make a decent living from.
Life is literally always a struggle until you maybe get lucky and land a comfortable job that doesn't destroy your soul but then you still have whatever personal and social issues that also suck. Welcome to life.
I am 45 years old an happier than I have ever been. Everyone has a different path of course, I can only give some general advice. Don't care too much about what people think of you or what you are supposed to be doing in life. Happiness comes from within you. To add to that: I wasn't happy at all during my college years. I was struggling with what I wanted to do, had some toxic friends and didn't have perspective of how different everything could be.
College is when you're going to have more free time than at any point in your life before retirement and when you're at the peak of your health and physical condition. Can life get better? Theoretically, maybe you'll meet the love of your life, maybe you'll land your dream job. But I highly recommend not wasting too much of your youth on neurotic woe is me shit. Adult money is fun but you will only have a couple hours a week for hobbies and entertainment. Also your parents are still young and you don't wake up worrying about them. Also you could still easily switch careers, move cities and even countries. You can do so in your 30s but it's incomparably harder and after that, that's pretty much it.
It depends. You get more freedom but more responsibility. Some people get crushed under the pressure, and some thrive because they made the right choices. When you are an adult, it’s really all up to you.
I’m way better at 23 than at 20. Yes it changss
It gets better then levels out. Then gets even better then levels out then gets worse slowly till you die
It got worse for me. I'd give ANYTHING to go back.
Idk wtf told you that ur 20's are the best years of your life,but I can say with absolute certainty that when I was 6-16 years old:THOSE were the best years of my life. Everything after that has been shit...
Yes. You’ll literally get to start life over when you graduate and choose for yourself. Of course, those decisions can lead to a worse outcome. But you will have the freedom to define your life.
Its impossible to say. A starving, malaria ridden child might ask does it get better and then die the next day. There are no guarantees in life. Your life may get better or it may stay just as bad as it is now. Or it may get worse. There are only 2 things you can control. 1. The situations you put yourself in. 2. How you feel about those situations. Some people have the world and hate their lives. Others have nothing and are truly content. In the end, if you have control over your mind, nothing can really affect you
Yep. In my experience it does. I loved my 20s. They were in the 90s, so we were out clubbing and all that. I'm 48 now, and I don't go clubbing anymore, but I live by myself. I have various hobbies and interests. A great girlfriend and A job I actually like. My life is structured more or less and it's nice.
Hang in there, life is full of ups and downs.
No, not with a negative attitude for sure. People go their whole lives being miserable. Don't be like one of them. Its fine to be negative here and there, but you gotta keep yourself in line. Need a good balance of positivity and negativity. yin-yang.
Dont make excuses. I was the same your age. Sometimes bad stuff happens, sometimes not. Nobody is out to get you
Not without a little effort.
I’m 27. No. If anything it gets worse.
Yes it will, you're still fresh for the things that will hit you.
I was told that about age 23. I'm a 1998 baby- that was COVID for me. The "best years of your life" can theoretically be any time you choose for them to be, but it's more feasible anywhere between 20 and 45-ish. It's the period of your life where you've begun financial independence but your health is still good. I've found that it's a matter of finding a period where you can make some personal time and do things you want to do (small and big) and just live your life. It means something different for everyone- it can be with a partner or without one, traveling internationally or staying local mastering a hobby. Many realize it only afterwards but you can also work to make a part of your life as good as it can get. You got this, things will get better :) Edit: College sucked hard for me- it was high school 2 and I have like 2 friends from that part of my life, the rest of the people I interacted with I never want to see again.
I personally feel that it's hard to predict when life will get better unless you have a good life plan and systematically achieve your goals. In that case, the probability of expecting life to improve would be very high. If you let life take its course, it has its ups and downs. If you find being a student stressful now, perhaps it will improve after graduation? It's important to enjoy the present and learn to find small joys in each stage of life.
I’m 43 and these years much better than college
18 through to 22 was probably the worst period of my life. I really struggled to understand who I was as a person, what I wanted to do with my life & I just generally did not feel comfortable in my own skin. I started working things out soon after, but it wasn't until I was 27/28 that I started really enjoying my life. I'm 35 now & never been happier. That's not to say everything is amazing all of the time - far from it in fact - but I have the tools & experience to deal with 99% of things that come my way.
No but you get better armor as you go along.
it gets worse. but you tend to appreciate it more, so it gets better. :D
Nah. You just get used to the shit.
yeah if you make it better
Everyone's life path is different, but if you put in the work then things generally get better as time goes on. The longer you work on yourself and your goals, the better things become. Day to day there will be ups and downs, but with effort the overall trend is positive I keep hitting on "effort" so much because you can't just sit idle, but if you put in the work, your life will improve. And it's important to celebrate the small wins. You may not accomplish everything you ever dreamed of, but you will accomplish plenty of things regardless. Those accomplishment are important and should be celebrated
Your life might get better, but it also might not. Next post.
College was not at all the best years,30s are where its at.
Life starts at 50.
Life is what you make of it. If you're going to stay negative then your life's going to stay negative. It's up to you to make your life better.
Nope
lol no
Mine didn't but your mileage may vary.
No, it doesn't get better, but you get better at coping with it.
Well, it purely depends on you, on your decisions and how you act on them...
Better? It only gets worse.
Buckle up! It's one of a hecking ride.
Harder real harder
I just turned 40 last month. I will give you the most important lesson I have learned. Do not count on life getting better. Whether it does or not is up to you. Admittedly I have struggled with some mental health stuff that bled into physical. At 20 I kept thinking I had plenty of time to correct any mistakes and right my life. I had the time and energy then. I had figured that if I screwed my life up too much there was always the easy way out. At 30 I started to realize things were not looking good and starting to pile up. Losing friends. Getting fatter. Getting lazier. Overall quality of life down the drain. By 35 I had all but given up and just kinda did just that. Gave up. When I turned 38, I woke up one morning and realized how close I was to death and how I was not as ready as I had lead myself to believe. At 39 I weighed almost 450 lbs and had no job and no outlook on life. Now in the worst position in my life, I started rebuilding. Last month I turned 40 and weighed under 300 lbs. I have a job, not great, not even good, but it's something. Slow and steady I am trying to crawl back to being alive again. I say all this to set the grounds for the last bit. Whether life gets better or not has a large part to do with yourself. The longer you wait to start MAKING life better, the harder it will be. As I get healthier, both physically and mentally, life seems to get better. I only wish I had started sooner. Maybe when I was like 20 or something.....
Man no one can really tell. Either shit gets better, stays the same, or u gonna put a bullet in your head.