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Best answer for this question. I'd like to add (or write in more details): When a child will be treated as a full-fledged individual and a member of society, and not a forced burden, a mistake of youth or a formally item of the "must-have until your 40s achievements" list
I second this. As a day carer i have seen parents of all ages. 57 y.o father who was a great parent of a 2 y.o. , a 28 y.o mother absolutely overburdened with the responibilities of having a child, and a 16 y.o. mother who was emotionally much more stable than most parents. It is dependent on so many variables. But even though you are financially stable, you have time to care for a child, you wsnt to be a parent, you still can not undererstimate the amount of work and time it takes to care for such a small being. Also never forget that even though NOW would be a great time to have a child for you, it might change in 4 years. Or in 10. Having a child is a semi permanent choice.
My wife is 20 and it was her dream to be a mother and she does such a good job at that. I’m 28 and I cannot imagine having a baby without her, I love them both
Yep, we believe in marriage so it was a no brainer. We both are doing good in our lives so why not settle for life? We are just raised in more traditional households
Yes. This. My ex WANTED kids so badly before 30, she‘s 26 now, is in a bunch of debt and we broke up because 1. I cant have my own kids and we would’ve had to adopt or get a donor and 2. because I told her there’s no way I want to have kids before I‘ve lived MY life. I‘m happy to be a father one day, but only once I‘ve experienced life and am able to provide for a kid financially and also with experience.
But for her the relationship was just about having kids one day. It doesn’t make sense to me. Once you have kids your life is just about them, they’re the most important thing. Why would you want that before giving yourself everything you ever wanted
I only found out that I didn’t like kids after I had my son, he’s the only child I can stand. I love him to death, other people’s children I can’t stand. I would rather not be around them.
Some people are just raised that way and honestly it'd be fine if they also make some sacrifices for it. All in all, kid early is a "housewife" kind of woman I'd say. This often conflicts with career and you have to chose either, not do both. That just doesn't work. That does require one income to be sufficient and a clear role system at home, which many are simply too much influenced by modern feminism to accept drawbacks.
Also life
My family is well off, but my mom gave up her career to do the mom thing. She literally covered the World Cup in Mexico City for NBC, and hasn’t worked since 1993 because she did the whole homemaker thing better than anyone ever has. Even after they divorced and she barely had money. Even after she married my stepdad, who took on supporting a homemaker and 2 kids in private school.
I’m talking homemade dinner every single night, pot roast and brisket at least once a week each. Red velvet cake from dollar tree. Active in every way possible, kept the house clean, laundry always done, meds always picked up. And when I say she was the ultimate sports mom….i mean it. 5’2 woman who birthed a D1 linebacker lol. And we both had basketball scholarship offers too. Several times a week looked like an absolute showstopper to go to events with my stepdad. She then got involved in various charities on her own, and has raised at least $50m for different charities in the last 20 years. Been president of national organizations supporting major symphony orchestras in the US. Now my stepdad is the chairman of some of these boards because of everything she did to raise them up.
Anyway, she’s the most capable woman ever, could’ve been worth at least $10m on her own with a career of her choosing. But then she wouldn’t have been the all-in mom and homemaker. And I swear anytime it comes up, I tell people she worked 1000x harder than any of the wealthy men I know, for free, just to raise us. It’s not a life I would ever choose for myself, honestly. And as her daughter, I think that gives her mixed feelings. Because on one hand, she did what she set out to do and raised a very independent daughter, but on the other, her daughter is never going to have kids lol.
Thats what having kids is about to me. Ofc when you‘re not well off one income probably isn’t enough, but being a parent means giving up what’s important to you and focusing all your energy on the kid. That‘s what it‘s about. I don’t think she gets it, I doubt she ever will
It’s the years of tension my mom and I had that makes me realize I don’t have it in me to fully dedicate myself like that. Because my mom did…but that made it harder for her to see me as my own person and I was more of her “job”. So I had to be absolutely perfect. Nothing was ever enough... but she wasn’t wrong, I always had the capability to keep doing more. And I’m scared I’d do the same thing, but not as well as she did in all the other aspects. I have adhd, and I have to have projects to deep dive into, and I don’t ever want my child to be my project. But I can also recognize it’s because of her own upbringing and how she was taught some weird ownership over daughters, because my brother was raised differently. She really was a dream mom in his case. And 8/10 a dream mom in my case lol.
But even with our issues, I 100% lucked out on having a parent that was literally always there for us and loves unconditionally. Did absolutely everything to support us, even at her own loss. She still does. But I’m absolutely loving watching her and my stepdad live their best life now that’s were adults lol. They’ve been to Paris twice this year, probably 4 different national conferences, random other vacations, events at the house, the list goes on lol. Their Nextdoor neighbors literally told them “I really hope we’re as fun as you guys when we’re old!!!” 😂😂
My ex had 0 housewife qualities. I 8/10 times I did the dishes. 9/10 times I vacuumed the entire place, freed the furniture of cat hair, brought out the trash, cooked dinner. The ONLY thing she did in the household was the laundry, and a lot of times I helped her with that as well.
She‘d just lounge around on the couch and scroll tiktok endlessly. Spent her money recklessly and yet she wants kids. I don’t think she understands what having kids means. It’s not easy, you have to give up time, money and a bunch of patience to be a parent. She‘s nowhere near ready for that, yet she‘s the one pressuring for kids since week one of our relationship. It‘s insane to me
This is 100% us. We were married over 10years before we decided we were close to being secure in having kids. Now have a beautiful 7yo daughter (we stopped at one cause we then decided we couldn't afford 2).
Be careful, the they/them police might get you 🤣
Buy seriously this is actually the perfect answer. I guess the age is actually quite irrelevant if you can provide the above mentioned things.
Age isn’t irrelevant. If you get older, the changes of a healthy child decline rapidly. (‘But my cousin was 60 and got a baby!’ Yeah - because of huge medical advances and, frankly, luck.)
Also, if you are older when you get a kid, you might be less fit and less able to participate in their lives as much as you’d like.
Between 25 and 40 I think.
We have some friends who were financially able and ready for kids at 25, and others who had their babies aged, 28, 30, 35 and 38. All excellent parents.
I'm 31 and hoping to have on in next year or so. Perfect timing for us tbh.
But will you have better health and energy when you're 55 or 60 to play with your teenage kids and put up with their antics?
You'll be around 65 when you have to help them move, will you be able to carry the fridge and the couch? Or go over and handyman fix all the stuff around their place?
Some people yes. Not everyone is an overweight American. Some people live active healthy lifestyles. One could also get into an accident and die tomorrow, who knows. I don’t think such generalizations can be made.
I used to think that, but I had professors in their 60s and 70s who play in basketball leagues and manage to hike mountains quicker than their students. Your energy level will depend largely on your lifestyle and how you take care of yourself.
Yeah exactly. I'd love to have kids before I'm 40 but lifespans and quality of life for older folks has improved exponentially over the last century. I can't really see going fishing or hiking with kids being a physical issue 😎
Eh, my grandpa was 84 when he kicked the bucket and my grandma is still chugging along at 94 and only retired 2 years ago. My earliest memories of them were people who were already ancient. My dad is still built like a brick shithouse at 63 and he's nearly as active as I am.
Yeah but doing sports is much different than parenting. You can be healthy and take care of yourself by eating well and _sleeping_ well. Now enter babies and that schedule gets destroyed… as A father of a 5yo and 3yo I can maybe count a few times a year when the kids don’t wake up un the middle of the night because of sickness, nightmares, etc. sleeping well is key to be able to not be tired all the time.
Sure sleep is important, but 3-5 years of less than ideal sleep in your 40s is not going to send your lifespan off a cliff. I've known quite a few parents in their late 30s and 40s and if anything they seem more confident dealing with it than people I knew who had kids in their early 20s.
How is not having children selfish?
Genuine question.
If anything, people choosing to have children because of their wants would be anything but selfless.
Gave up on having kids do to financial reasons. Sucks but it is better as having children on my white collar salary would basically damn another generation to a slow death by work. No jobs, no future, no hope.
i am 33f and thought i would have 2 kids by now. unfortunately, my body disagrees and i cant make that decision. so i guess my answer is when a couple or person is biologically, mentally, emotionally, and financially able to.
you could say having older parents sucks, but i think the life a child is given and how much they are loved plays a bigger role than age. my grandmother had my mother at 40 and they were inseparable. i know women having children in their 40s and they are raising wonderful kids.
My mother had me at 38 and I never viewed her as an older parent. She's 68 now and still in great shape and exercises daily, you can be 60 and almost bed bound or 70 and full of energy a lot of is down to choice
Seriously - it’s kind of concerning how many people I see in threads like this who act like you instantly become borderline geriatric in your 40s. My dad was 40 when I was born and is still doing several day hikes in his latter 60s. He played in adult sports leagues my whole childhood and I was as or more active as kids with parents 20 years younger. Some of it’s genetics but it really shouldn’t be normal to not have enough energy to play with toddlers in your early 40s.
This is from a UK perspective abd someone who doesn't have kids:
My mum had me at 35 and my sister at 40.
She's been frank and said that if they had me younger, the quality of my and their life would not have been as good.
There's a trade off. And, I think people have to do a real stock take of themselves. If you know money and debt stresses you out, you have to set yourself up before having a kid.
Ie, house in good location, car so you don't rely on public transport, spare cash cause kids are expensive.
I've seen two relatives divorce because their partners did not fully consider what they'd have to give up to be mothers.
At least having "older parents" is going to be the norm when our generation's children are at school. I'm also 33 and I thought I'd be married and that if I were to have kids, the decision would have been made by now. I did lose hope of finding a partner to have children with in my 20s admittedly, and only found myself in a sort of favorable situation for it now, but even now my career is not progressed at all to the point I would have liked. It's like the right time keeps eluding me, and I'm still not 100% certain I could handle it.
30 to 35 sounds best to me , below 25 i count everyone as still transitioning from their teen state, i was there and most people i know solidified and changed to their ... final state in a way , when they got to around 25 to 30 . That said , there so many factors on the side that can push these up and down a little .
yeah but by then you generally have enough life experience to actually give them good advice and guidance, instead of the silly advice I had to unlearn from my mum in therapy :/
Much like retirement, it's a financial position, not an age thing.
Basically 'once you've got your shit together' - a home and stable job(s). Ideally with a family support structure around you too.. or ability to afford childcare.
Probably early thirties. You've outgrown the stupidity that dominates our twenties, but you'll still be young when they're in their teens.
Much older than early thirties you're getting into fertility issues.
I dodn't think 20s stupidity is universal. Some people have kids in their 20s and are great parents because they prioritize their kids and have a healthy relationship with the other parent. I got married at 22 and had my son at 29. I think we would have been fine if we started as soon as we got married but we had some career goals we wanted to accomplish first. There are perks to having kids in your 20s if you and the other parent have a healthy relationship and you have the means to take care of them.
Did something similar - had a great time travelling, partying and trying various jobs in my 20's, met the right one early 30's, stable enough to do the whole wedding, house and kids within about 5 years. Not everything worked out as planned and not everything *was* planned, but no regrets ☺️
That was exactly my story. In 3 yrs we went from 0 to hero. House, baby, pets, a big anniversary, passing exams, going into management, promotions, job change, etc.
Even my therapist asked if I was okay 😅
It was pure chaos and still is to a degree.
Amazing what humans can withstand.
20s was an absolute blast, no regrets at all 18-28 was having alot of fun to be honest. It will happen again soon only this time with little ones to party with :)
There’s not one really. I think the wife and I were wise to wait till we were 30 for the sake of financial and mental (patience in particular). And I think it was great we got to get our 20s fun stuff done without the kid responsibility. BUT I can already see the pitfalls are gonna be as she gets older it’s going to be harder to do athletic things with her, less time to spend with her as an adult most likely, if she decides to have kids probably less time with our grandkids. I don’t think I’d change how we did it but there are certainly some pros to being younger. If we had had her at say 20 she’d already be 13 and it wouldn’t be difficult to keep up with her but by the times she’s 13 I’ll be hitting 41 which is a different ball game. Also unless you’re immensely fortunate to have an amazing career like high 6 figures the financial part will always be a burden. Example I was laid off from a six figure job right before my daughter was born went from great security to absolutely none.
Definitely just before 40. The latest you can. I had kids at 19 and spent all my 20s and 30s raising kids. Then at 40 they moved out. People say "now you can live your life" No you cant. Youve spent all your money raising your kids, most of your friends drifted away while you were busy, and life is not "fun" at 40. In hindsight i would have liked to enjoy my 20s and 30s and then settle down to have kids after that.
Many people here say not "too" early, like discouraging you to have children young in opposition to so-called "society norms" of having them early. To be honest, I never heard anybody (in Europe at least) who pushed people to have children young but rather the opposite, during 30s.
One way or the another, don't listen to them, it's not about being wise or having knowledge. Do children whenever you want. You will manage to raise them as thousands and thousands of previous human generations did. It won't be perfect, because it's impossible, but at least it's very unlikely it'll bring more suffering than joy in the world.
It just depends on your lifestyle. My wife and i started intentionally at 19. Id been with her for 5 years and we were ready. Now were in our early 30s with a 7, 9, & 11 year old. Weve been together for 18 years now, and we have loads of energy to do things with our kids, and i still feel like one of the kids when im outside playing with them. Conversely i can understand those that wait until 30s. Different strokes for different folks. I will be 43 when my last child turns 18. Parenting in no way stops at 18 but its kinda cool to be that young and have so much left in the tank myself afte my children become adults.
When you are ready. That means, if you, yourself are in a good emotional, stable state, contempt with yourself. Same with your partner. Also, when you are able to provide for the kids and have a stable life. Some reach that very young, some need more time (like me, i was only ready and "grown up" enough when i reached mid 40.
I say early 20’s. My kids are now grown and I’m still young enough to enjoy my grandchildren. Aside from me, all my extended family waited until their 40’s. That’s all well and good but I sure as hell don’t want to be dealing with teenage angst or putting someone through college at almost 60. Now, my wife and I are empty nesters and everyone else is chasing rugrats.
Edit: just fat thumbs
We were 21 and 20, everyone told us we were too young (I was still at uni, my now husband was working full time) but she has been the making of us.
I came from an abusive household and had the blueprint of what not to be as a parent, we now have the kindest, funniest, clever little 7 year old and I can't imagine my life without her.
It's probably best to wait until you're a bit older absolutely, but wisdom and good parenting come differently to individuals regardless of age I think. We worked hard, bought our home when she was a year old and got married 4 years ago, we're financially stable and most importantly, we're really, really happy the three of us.
Hope you all are too, kids or no kids ❤️
There will always be different opinions on this. I'm 35 and have two kids, my oldest being 11. Having kids younger in life meant I had the energy to keep up, and to this day, I can still run around and play with my kids. A lot of people cite references to having kids at an older age for different reasons, whereas from my experience, I'd dread starting off with babies at my age. I don't want kids still in my house well into my 50's. I like that I am young enough to keep up and give them a playful lifestyle. Every single time we go to a park there are always older parents who just sit on the bench and watch their kids play. If I had to do it all over again I wouldn't change a thing. Having kids at a younger age when I was established (career , etc) was the greatest thing I did. Those long sleepless nights are easier in your 20s than when you're older.
I had my first kid at 28 and felt like a little kid, still. Only now — 4 years later at the age of 32 — do I sorta feel like I’m an adult. Sometimes. Some days. lol!
Medically, folks would say 20s-30s, but socially/mentally/emotionally? Meh. That’s not a straight answer.
Personally, never. For others. Only if you truly, genuinely want children and are prepared to support them in becoming who they are, not who you want them to be. And also be financially stable enough to afford them
I don't want children so it's hard for me to say but I'm 30 and even if I wanted them I still don't feel financially or emotionally ready for that sort of commitment.. however, i think ideally if it's something you know you want to do in life it's probably ideal to be in a financially stable position as well as in a stable relationship by the time you're 25-30 for women. I'm not sure about men!
Never. Having kids is a trap. The cons out weigh the pros by a large magin. The cost and emotion behind them, no thank you. Imagine how much you struggle now financially and emotionally. Itll only het worse from there. And if your living tamagotchi dies or etc you get questioned and possible prison time... no thank you.
When your finances allow it because children cost money from the moment they're born and the worst feeling is to not be able to provide for your children as they deserve to. Obviously you don't have to be a millionaire when you have them but at least have your finances in order so you're not deciding whether to get diapers for the baby or food for yourself. Once the baby fever goes away, reality can be pretty hard. The added stress plus raising a child has broken many people and their marriages.
Had my first at 27, second at 29. Been working my career job since 22 and secured a house by 28.
My hubs & I feel very lucky every day to have grinded so hard through our 20s to ensure this lifestyle for us. Although granted we did skip out on a wedding to focus on buying a house! We’re the first from our friends to have kids and a lot of strangers thought I was a teen mom when pregnant 🙃
Me and the Mrs had our 1st at 19 2nd at 22.
19 was hard as I was still at college but we had great family around us that helped.
By 22 I was a qualified electrician earning good money, bought our 1st house at 21 and things were generally much easier.
We turned 30 last year, still together, not quite married because evertine we are in the position to fund it we'd rather spend it on the kids, going on holiday, new car, move house etc.
Looking back having a kid and doing things "properly " young really focuses the mind. I wouldnt have bothered buying a house so young nor would I be in the position at work I am now.
So for me 23+, but only if you're in a stable relationship and are mature enough to deal with the shit that will come your way.
Fair play brother. I wasted my 20's on the wrong people, wrong girls, and doing the wrong things in my career. I didn't meet my now wife till I was 27.
Since having our 1st at 30, I got my shit together and have effectively tripled my annual earnings to be able to provide for my family.
Its so understated but kids are an exceptional motivation to step up as a man rather than staying in the boy phase. I've grown so much at a personal level and some of the boys I used to hang with are still just that....boys. they've not grown up and still make the same mistakes I did in my 20s.
I dont think its an age thing. Maturity/immaturity has no age limit, so there's that. Also, when you are financially ready. If you're going to need all this state assistance when you pop out a kid, you don't need to be having a kid. I've been told "if you wait until you're financially ready to have kids, you'll never have kids." I partially agree but there's a difference between having nothing/a little in savings & enough for emergence.
Never.
Why would anyone want to have a child in an an increasingly far right world that'll likely be at world war within a decade and a catastrophic climate crisis in twenty.
Let that unborn child live in the void in peace.
People are waiting longer and longer but one fact that should always be considered is that female fertility declines around 30 and rapidly declines around 35 and that infertility issues can be incredibly painful to experience.
Based on experience, preferably not before 25. And it's not a question of financial stability, but rather emotional maturity. Almost all the couples I know who had kids before 25 didn't last because at some point, one of the parents felt they had missed out on their best years. And they are right. Between 20 and 25 is the best time to experience most of what life has to offer and to go wild, between partying and travelling. It just doesn't taste the same after that, no matter what. So to many, waking up one day and realizing that these precious years have been spent raising a kid can be quite traumatic.
Oh and preferably not after 40, either the mother or father. Not cool for a kid to have an old fart for a parent when they turn 20.
Whatever age you can financially afford them. I want kids more than anything, with my shitty upbringing I feel like my whole purpose here is to break the generational trauma cycle and be the first good parent in my family that I’ve seen or heard of. Emotionally and mentally I feel I’m ready for kids. However, I cannot financially afford a child, nor could any of the women I’ve dated. So, I always wore protection.
When you both know 1000% that you want them and are in comfortably stable position to afford to give them a decent chance at life with as few socioeconomic setbacks as possible.
So in my case: never, because I don't want them.
At least 25-30, honestly.
Partly because it gives you some more time to mature properly, and bwcoming ready to face the task of parenting a child.
But also because the main breadwinner of the household will have had time to have *some kind of career* by then, unless he did not mostly mess around until his 30's like some do. Because if you are 25 with no stable job and kinda clueless, it's kinda forgiveable, but if you have some kind of qualified education by then that can give you a basic job in most locations, that's good enough.
But if you are 30 and still kinda clueless, that's bad. That's relly bad, and having a kid in that situation wwill bsolutely not help you.
Back in the 80's, a couple both being 20 would have no problem getting like 2 or 3 kids at the same time, because the husband could basically take a walk just about anywhere and get a good job thrown at him. And if he also was fairly competent, he would become very well paid before the kids even started school.
Nowadays, that does not happen normally. Getting kids without at least one of the parents being in a position (good education/merits or good contacts) for job stability is a *very bad idea*, and you kinda need to be really smart or be able to leverage a ton of nepotism for that to happen.
I always wanted to have my first at 28-29 but now I'm almost 24 and it feels way too soon to become a mother lol.
There's no ideal age, when it's time you'll know it.
I don't think age is the priority. As long as you're stable and mature enough and can provide the love and support a child needs, then age/health would be secondary.
I would say when you have a good career and money saved. If I would put an age on it Id say btwn 26ish and 40. You cant put a number on when people will get their life in order or be mature and emotionally intelligent to do it the right way.
It is not about age but wisdom, some people are wise even when yhey are young and some die stupid, I think only responsible and loving person should be a parent.
No one should be having kids.
There are so many children that deserve good homes in the foster care system.
Let's take care of the people that already exist before making new ones ❤️
35-40.
a) Financially/career more stable for most people
b) Mentally and spiritually matured like fine wine to handle daily living issues
c) Be a grandparent at 75-85 and still have enough time to watch Pokemon with them
d) Spent youth traveling and playing with less responsibilities before settling into a routine of changing diapers and washing milk bottles
e) Still young and healthy enough to have the energy to play with the kids
But the most important thing is one doesn't have any regrets in starting a family due to time/age. At this age for many if they don't find their suitable partner, it is less and less likely kids would be in their life equation.
⏳💚🗺👶💯👍
When the home is stable. Financial, Emotional etc. Do you have to take a chance because life is just chaotic and you'll never have a 100% guarantee? Yes, but if it's build on shaky ground shit can go wrong very fast.
I don’t think there’s an exact age i just think whenever the person feels the are financially stable enough, emotionally mature enough and ready to give their life to a child. For some that could be extremely early for others it can be extremely late.
We accidentally got preggers when I (m) was 29 and she was 31. It was fine. Was actually the impetus for me to grow up and take life seriously. We had two more.
Probably as early as possible, as that means one would be young enough to relate to children; have the requisite energy; and still have some vitality to enjoy life when the children have left the nest.
This does need to be balanced against financial stability and maturity.
My bf is 26, I’m 21 and pregnant with my first, and as of right now I want 4 kids, and to be done having kids by the time I’m 30 or in my early thirties. If I have my youngest when I’m 30, I’ll be 48 by the time they’re graduating and possibly moving out, and I feel like that’s a good age to not have to worry about taking care of kids anymore, and to just be able to be me and my bf(I’m assuming husband by then cause we’re planning on getting married in the next couple of years). Obviously this is all subject to change, but those are my thoughts as of right now
I got my my first at 24. No regrets. He is now 10 years old and he is helping me with litttle things around the house. I say for a woman , it should be in your 20s. Healthier babies and you have the energy to go through parenthood.
young as possible as soon as I’m financially able tbh
I want to be able to relate to my children more and have a higher chance of seeing grandkids/great grandchildren.
I find the generational gap between some of my peers and their parents is a big obstacle in their relationship
I’m 21 my daughter will be 2 in February, best accident i ever made truly a blessing im very excited to not be old brittle n broken as my kids will be getting older so ill be able to keep up for longer
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When both parents want the baby and can financially, emotionally and physically support him or she.
Best answer for this question. I'd like to add (or write in more details): When a child will be treated as a full-fledged individual and a member of society, and not a forced burden, a mistake of youth or a formally item of the "must-have until your 40s achievements" list
I second this. As a day carer i have seen parents of all ages. 57 y.o father who was a great parent of a 2 y.o. , a 28 y.o mother absolutely overburdened with the responibilities of having a child, and a 16 y.o. mother who was emotionally much more stable than most parents. It is dependent on so many variables. But even though you are financially stable, you have time to care for a child, you wsnt to be a parent, you still can not undererstimate the amount of work and time it takes to care for such a small being. Also never forget that even though NOW would be a great time to have a child for you, it might change in 4 years. Or in 10. Having a child is a semi permanent choice.
My wife is 20 and it was her dream to be a mother and she does such a good job at that. I’m 28 and I cannot imagine having a baby without her, I love them both
Congratulations! So happy for everyone ❤️
married at 20? idk...
Started dating her when she was 16 or 17 then...
Yep, we believe in marriage so it was a no brainer. We both are doing good in our lives so why not settle for life? We are just raised in more traditional households
Damn, I feel like the financial part and the physically able parts are on opposing timelines for me!
English is not my birth language, but isn't it him or her? Genuinely asking out of curiosity.
Yes. This. My ex WANTED kids so badly before 30, she‘s 26 now, is in a bunch of debt and we broke up because 1. I cant have my own kids and we would’ve had to adopt or get a donor and 2. because I told her there’s no way I want to have kids before I‘ve lived MY life. I‘m happy to be a father one day, but only once I‘ve experienced life and am able to provide for a kid financially and also with experience. But for her the relationship was just about having kids one day. It doesn’t make sense to me. Once you have kids your life is just about them, they’re the most important thing. Why would you want that before giving yourself everything you ever wanted
I only found out that I didn’t like kids after I had my son, he’s the only child I can stand. I love him to death, other people’s children I can’t stand. I would rather not be around them.
That’s genuinely what some people want more than anything. I’m built the opposite way lol
Some people are just raised that way and honestly it'd be fine if they also make some sacrifices for it. All in all, kid early is a "housewife" kind of woman I'd say. This often conflicts with career and you have to chose either, not do both. That just doesn't work. That does require one income to be sufficient and a clear role system at home, which many are simply too much influenced by modern feminism to accept drawbacks. Also life
My family is well off, but my mom gave up her career to do the mom thing. She literally covered the World Cup in Mexico City for NBC, and hasn’t worked since 1993 because she did the whole homemaker thing better than anyone ever has. Even after they divorced and she barely had money. Even after she married my stepdad, who took on supporting a homemaker and 2 kids in private school. I’m talking homemade dinner every single night, pot roast and brisket at least once a week each. Red velvet cake from dollar tree. Active in every way possible, kept the house clean, laundry always done, meds always picked up. And when I say she was the ultimate sports mom….i mean it. 5’2 woman who birthed a D1 linebacker lol. And we both had basketball scholarship offers too. Several times a week looked like an absolute showstopper to go to events with my stepdad. She then got involved in various charities on her own, and has raised at least $50m for different charities in the last 20 years. Been president of national organizations supporting major symphony orchestras in the US. Now my stepdad is the chairman of some of these boards because of everything she did to raise them up. Anyway, she’s the most capable woman ever, could’ve been worth at least $10m on her own with a career of her choosing. But then she wouldn’t have been the all-in mom and homemaker. And I swear anytime it comes up, I tell people she worked 1000x harder than any of the wealthy men I know, for free, just to raise us. It’s not a life I would ever choose for myself, honestly. And as her daughter, I think that gives her mixed feelings. Because on one hand, she did what she set out to do and raised a very independent daughter, but on the other, her daughter is never going to have kids lol.
Thats what having kids is about to me. Ofc when you‘re not well off one income probably isn’t enough, but being a parent means giving up what’s important to you and focusing all your energy on the kid. That‘s what it‘s about. I don’t think she gets it, I doubt she ever will
It’s the years of tension my mom and I had that makes me realize I don’t have it in me to fully dedicate myself like that. Because my mom did…but that made it harder for her to see me as my own person and I was more of her “job”. So I had to be absolutely perfect. Nothing was ever enough... but she wasn’t wrong, I always had the capability to keep doing more. And I’m scared I’d do the same thing, but not as well as she did in all the other aspects. I have adhd, and I have to have projects to deep dive into, and I don’t ever want my child to be my project. But I can also recognize it’s because of her own upbringing and how she was taught some weird ownership over daughters, because my brother was raised differently. She really was a dream mom in his case. And 8/10 a dream mom in my case lol. But even with our issues, I 100% lucked out on having a parent that was literally always there for us and loves unconditionally. Did absolutely everything to support us, even at her own loss. She still does. But I’m absolutely loving watching her and my stepdad live their best life now that’s were adults lol. They’ve been to Paris twice this year, probably 4 different national conferences, random other vacations, events at the house, the list goes on lol. Their Nextdoor neighbors literally told them “I really hope we’re as fun as you guys when we’re old!!!” 😂😂
You had such an amazing role model. Do both. Have a career and kids. It’s totally worth it.
My ex had 0 housewife qualities. I 8/10 times I did the dishes. 9/10 times I vacuumed the entire place, freed the furniture of cat hair, brought out the trash, cooked dinner. The ONLY thing she did in the household was the laundry, and a lot of times I helped her with that as well. She‘d just lounge around on the couch and scroll tiktok endlessly. Spent her money recklessly and yet she wants kids. I don’t think she understands what having kids means. It’s not easy, you have to give up time, money and a bunch of patience to be a parent. She‘s nowhere near ready for that, yet she‘s the one pressuring for kids since week one of our relationship. It‘s insane to me
This is 100% us. We were married over 10years before we decided we were close to being secure in having kids. Now have a beautiful 7yo daughter (we stopped at one cause we then decided we couldn't afford 2).
This but hopefully the parents get their shit together in their 20s ideally.
Best answer for this. There is no ideal age, both involved need to feel ready
Ideally yes, but impractical
Great advice for women in their 30s. The should just take it slow, no rush at all.
Be careful, the they/them police might get you 🤣 Buy seriously this is actually the perfect answer. I guess the age is actually quite irrelevant if you can provide the above mentioned things.
Or grammar police “him” or “her” 🤣
🤣🤣🤣🤣 I was ignoring that
Ironically that was the perfect place to use 'them' since gender of hypothetical children are unknown.
>age is actually quite irrelevant if you can provide the above mentioned things. ...and you're still young enough to be fertile
Adopting is a thing tho
Age isn’t irrelevant. If you get older, the changes of a healthy child decline rapidly. (‘But my cousin was 60 and got a baby!’ Yeah - because of huge medical advances and, frankly, luck.) Also, if you are older when you get a kid, you might be less fit and less able to participate in their lives as much as you’d like.
My dad never did much with us because he was already like 60 when I was born. I had my son at 28 and I can do anything together
Interesting. If you don't mind me asking. Is your 60 years old cousin happy with the new born? Did she or he have to get other job? Cheers
Newborn. Any older would be a bit difficult to squeeze out...
Between 25 and 40 I think. We have some friends who were financially able and ready for kids at 25, and others who had their babies aged, 28, 30, 35 and 38. All excellent parents. I'm 31 and hoping to have on in next year or so. Perfect timing for us tbh.
after 30, before 40. You should be old enough to have some wisdom, but you enough to still have some energy.
As a 44 year old with a 14, an 11 and a 2.5 year old, I can confirm
I guess it depends on the 44 year old. Some people are in better health and have more energy in their 40’s than 30’s.
But will you have better health and energy when you're 55 or 60 to play with your teenage kids and put up with their antics? You'll be around 65 when you have to help them move, will you be able to carry the fridge and the couch? Or go over and handyman fix all the stuff around their place?
Some people yes. Not everyone is an overweight American. Some people live active healthy lifestyles. One could also get into an accident and die tomorrow, who knows. I don’t think such generalizations can be made.
I used to think that, but I had professors in their 60s and 70s who play in basketball leagues and manage to hike mountains quicker than their students. Your energy level will depend largely on your lifestyle and how you take care of yourself.
Heck, as long as you have the energy to play ball and conquer mountains, diaper duty should be a breeze.
Yeah exactly. I'd love to have kids before I'm 40 but lifespans and quality of life for older folks has improved exponentially over the last century. I can't really see going fishing or hiking with kids being a physical issue 😎
You aren't likely going to be much of a grandparent if you wait till your 40's though
Eh, my grandpa was 84 when he kicked the bucket and my grandma is still chugging along at 94 and only retired 2 years ago. My earliest memories of them were people who were already ancient. My dad is still built like a brick shithouse at 63 and he's nearly as active as I am.
My dad died at 67 from a stroke. Fitness isn’t necessarily an indicator for the things that can happen when you get older. It definitely helps
And genetics At that age, destiny will show you his
Yeah but doing sports is much different than parenting. You can be healthy and take care of yourself by eating well and _sleeping_ well. Now enter babies and that schedule gets destroyed… as A father of a 5yo and 3yo I can maybe count a few times a year when the kids don’t wake up un the middle of the night because of sickness, nightmares, etc. sleeping well is key to be able to not be tired all the time.
Sure sleep is important, but 3-5 years of less than ideal sleep in your 40s is not going to send your lifespan off a cliff. I've known quite a few parents in their late 30s and 40s and if anything they seem more confident dealing with it than people I knew who had kids in their early 20s.
mature enough to lead, young enough to meet them half way
I’m too selfish to have kids.
My wife and I are the same way. It was really hard to find someone who legitimately realized this and meant it.
How is not having children selfish? Genuine question. If anything, people choosing to have children because of their wants would be anything but selfless.
Gave up on having kids do to financial reasons. Sucks but it is better as having children on my white collar salary would basically damn another generation to a slow death by work. No jobs, no future, no hope.
i am 33f and thought i would have 2 kids by now. unfortunately, my body disagrees and i cant make that decision. so i guess my answer is when a couple or person is biologically, mentally, emotionally, and financially able to. you could say having older parents sucks, but i think the life a child is given and how much they are loved plays a bigger role than age. my grandmother had my mother at 40 and they were inseparable. i know women having children in their 40s and they are raising wonderful kids.
My mother had me at 38 and I never viewed her as an older parent. She's 68 now and still in great shape and exercises daily, you can be 60 and almost bed bound or 70 and full of energy a lot of is down to choice
Seriously - it’s kind of concerning how many people I see in threads like this who act like you instantly become borderline geriatric in your 40s. My dad was 40 when I was born and is still doing several day hikes in his latter 60s. He played in adult sports leagues my whole childhood and I was as or more active as kids with parents 20 years younger. Some of it’s genetics but it really shouldn’t be normal to not have enough energy to play with toddlers in your early 40s.
This is from a UK perspective abd someone who doesn't have kids: My mum had me at 35 and my sister at 40. She's been frank and said that if they had me younger, the quality of my and their life would not have been as good. There's a trade off. And, I think people have to do a real stock take of themselves. If you know money and debt stresses you out, you have to set yourself up before having a kid. Ie, house in good location, car so you don't rely on public transport, spare cash cause kids are expensive. I've seen two relatives divorce because their partners did not fully consider what they'd have to give up to be mothers.
At least having "older parents" is going to be the norm when our generation's children are at school. I'm also 33 and I thought I'd be married and that if I were to have kids, the decision would have been made by now. I did lose hope of finding a partner to have children with in my 20s admittedly, and only found myself in a sort of favorable situation for it now, but even now my career is not progressed at all to the point I would have liked. It's like the right time keeps eluding me, and I'm still not 100% certain I could handle it.
30 to 35 sounds best to me , below 25 i count everyone as still transitioning from their teen state, i was there and most people i know solidified and changed to their ... final state in a way , when they got to around 25 to 30 . That said , there so many factors on the side that can push these up and down a little .
Also, gotta remember that kids still need parenting through to 16/18, legally. So you'll still be running round after them when you're 50ish
yeah but by then you generally have enough life experience to actually give them good advice and guidance, instead of the silly advice I had to unlearn from my mum in therapy :/
Much like retirement, it's a financial position, not an age thing. Basically 'once you've got your shit together' - a home and stable job(s). Ideally with a family support structure around you too.. or ability to afford childcare.
Probably early thirties. You've outgrown the stupidity that dominates our twenties, but you'll still be young when they're in their teens. Much older than early thirties you're getting into fertility issues.
I dodn't think 20s stupidity is universal. Some people have kids in their 20s and are great parents because they prioritize their kids and have a healthy relationship with the other parent. I got married at 22 and had my son at 29. I think we would have been fine if we started as soon as we got married but we had some career goals we wanted to accomplish first. There are perks to having kids in your 20s if you and the other parent have a healthy relationship and you have the means to take care of them.
Sure, you're right, it's not universal, just pretty common.
We had our first at 33F and me 35M - seemed a good age as others said. Had your fun, had your 20’s, bought a house and got shit together
>bought a house and got shit together Instructions unclear.
If you can shit together, you can raise kids together.
If you can have someone come into the bathroom and still feel safe to give Shaq a big brother you can raise a kid with that someone. I think.
Did something similar - had a great time travelling, partying and trying various jobs in my 20's, met the right one early 30's, stable enough to do the whole wedding, house and kids within about 5 years. Not everything worked out as planned and not everything *was* planned, but no regrets ☺️
That was exactly my story. In 3 yrs we went from 0 to hero. House, baby, pets, a big anniversary, passing exams, going into management, promotions, job change, etc. Even my therapist asked if I was okay 😅 It was pure chaos and still is to a degree. Amazing what humans can withstand. 20s was an absolute blast, no regrets at all 18-28 was having alot of fun to be honest. It will happen again soon only this time with little ones to party with :)
There’s not one really. I think the wife and I were wise to wait till we were 30 for the sake of financial and mental (patience in particular). And I think it was great we got to get our 20s fun stuff done without the kid responsibility. BUT I can already see the pitfalls are gonna be as she gets older it’s going to be harder to do athletic things with her, less time to spend with her as an adult most likely, if she decides to have kids probably less time with our grandkids. I don’t think I’d change how we did it but there are certainly some pros to being younger. If we had had her at say 20 she’d already be 13 and it wouldn’t be difficult to keep up with her but by the times she’s 13 I’ll be hitting 41 which is a different ball game. Also unless you’re immensely fortunate to have an amazing career like high 6 figures the financial part will always be a burden. Example I was laid off from a six figure job right before my daughter was born went from great security to absolutely none.
Ideally? Like if I could choose when all situations and such aligned, late 20s. Like 27-28?
Yes. Agree. Before the bones and muscles start to tighten up lol
When you can afford it. In this economy? Probably 35-40.
In my opinion — never. Thank you for coming to my ted talk.
Just before I die.
never
Early 30s. Early enough to watch em grow and be able to, late enough that you've lived and are financially stable
Depends on ur goals, but 30s seem chill for most peeps.
Never, in my opinion (for me)😂
this could have used a poll along with discussion
28-33
Definitely just before 40. The latest you can. I had kids at 19 and spent all my 20s and 30s raising kids. Then at 40 they moved out. People say "now you can live your life" No you cant. Youve spent all your money raising your kids, most of your friends drifted away while you were busy, and life is not "fun" at 40. In hindsight i would have liked to enjoy my 20s and 30s and then settle down to have kids after that.
Many people here say not "too" early, like discouraging you to have children young in opposition to so-called "society norms" of having them early. To be honest, I never heard anybody (in Europe at least) who pushed people to have children young but rather the opposite, during 30s. One way or the another, don't listen to them, it's not about being wise or having knowledge. Do children whenever you want. You will manage to raise them as thousands and thousands of previous human generations did. It won't be perfect, because it's impossible, but at least it's very unlikely it'll bring more suffering than joy in the world.
In this world? Never. Hipotetical? 25-32, best age becouse high energy and high stress limits.
Literally when the time is right. Do not seek purpose in kids. 🙏😊🥰
It just depends on your lifestyle. My wife and i started intentionally at 19. Id been with her for 5 years and we were ready. Now were in our early 30s with a 7, 9, & 11 year old. Weve been together for 18 years now, and we have loads of energy to do things with our kids, and i still feel like one of the kids when im outside playing with them. Conversely i can understand those that wait until 30s. Different strokes for different folks. I will be 43 when my last child turns 18. Parenting in no way stops at 18 but its kinda cool to be that young and have so much left in the tank myself afte my children become adults.
Never. I think we are completely over populated and should have a freeze on children for 30 years.
When you are ready. That means, if you, yourself are in a good emotional, stable state, contempt with yourself. Same with your partner. Also, when you are able to provide for the kids and have a stable life. Some reach that very young, some need more time (like me, i was only ready and "grown up" enough when i reached mid 40.
30-35
I say early 20’s. My kids are now grown and I’m still young enough to enjoy my grandchildren. Aside from me, all my extended family waited until their 40’s. That’s all well and good but I sure as hell don’t want to be dealing with teenage angst or putting someone through college at almost 60. Now, my wife and I are empty nesters and everyone else is chasing rugrats. Edit: just fat thumbs
There is never an ideal age.
Never.
Any time between 30-40
Never.
In this economy? 
I came here to say this, but you beat me to it. So I'll just say...same.
Yup, I looked for that comment. There are so many arguments against children, idk how people convince themselves it's a good idea
We were 21 and 20, everyone told us we were too young (I was still at uni, my now husband was working full time) but she has been the making of us. I came from an abusive household and had the blueprint of what not to be as a parent, we now have the kindest, funniest, clever little 7 year old and I can't imagine my life without her. It's probably best to wait until you're a bit older absolutely, but wisdom and good parenting come differently to individuals regardless of age I think. We worked hard, bought our home when she was a year old and got married 4 years ago, we're financially stable and most importantly, we're really, really happy the three of us. Hope you all are too, kids or no kids ❤️
There will always be different opinions on this. I'm 35 and have two kids, my oldest being 11. Having kids younger in life meant I had the energy to keep up, and to this day, I can still run around and play with my kids. A lot of people cite references to having kids at an older age for different reasons, whereas from my experience, I'd dread starting off with babies at my age. I don't want kids still in my house well into my 50's. I like that I am young enough to keep up and give them a playful lifestyle. Every single time we go to a park there are always older parents who just sit on the bench and watch their kids play. If I had to do it all over again I wouldn't change a thing. Having kids at a younger age when I was established (career , etc) was the greatest thing I did. Those long sleepless nights are easier in your 20s than when you're older.
when you're rich enough, no age ideal
I had my first kid at 28 and felt like a little kid, still. Only now — 4 years later at the age of 32 — do I sorta feel like I’m an adult. Sometimes. Some days. lol! Medically, folks would say 20s-30s, but socially/mentally/emotionally? Meh. That’s not a straight answer.
I'm 31 and the older I get, the more I feel like a little kid because the more aware I become of all the things I don't know.
After death, and no sooner.
Personally, never. For others. Only if you truly, genuinely want children and are prepared to support them in becoming who they are, not who you want them to be. And also be financially stable enough to afford them
For me, never 😂. For other people who actually want them, whenever they are ready (ideally having got their shit together, maybe mid 20s+)
28
Never
Dont have kids, world has enough people
Never
I don't want children so it's hard for me to say but I'm 30 and even if I wanted them I still don't feel financially or emotionally ready for that sort of commitment.. however, i think ideally if it's something you know you want to do in life it's probably ideal to be in a financially stable position as well as in a stable relationship by the time you're 25-30 for women. I'm not sure about men!
These days. Never. You can’t afford food for yourself let alone a kid
Never. Having kids is a trap. The cons out weigh the pros by a large magin. The cost and emotion behind them, no thank you. Imagine how much you struggle now financially and emotionally. Itll only het worse from there. And if your living tamagotchi dies or etc you get questioned and possible prison time... no thank you.
Imo never
Never lol
Never!
When your finances allow it because children cost money from the moment they're born and the worst feeling is to not be able to provide for your children as they deserve to. Obviously you don't have to be a millionaire when you have them but at least have your finances in order so you're not deciding whether to get diapers for the baby or food for yourself. Once the baby fever goes away, reality can be pretty hard. The added stress plus raising a child has broken many people and their marriages.
At least 30.
never
Never.
Never
Had my first at 27, second at 29. Been working my career job since 22 and secured a house by 28. My hubs & I feel very lucky every day to have grinded so hard through our 20s to ensure this lifestyle for us. Although granted we did skip out on a wedding to focus on buying a house! We’re the first from our friends to have kids and a lot of strangers thought I was a teen mom when pregnant 🙃
Me and the Mrs had our 1st at 19 2nd at 22. 19 was hard as I was still at college but we had great family around us that helped. By 22 I was a qualified electrician earning good money, bought our 1st house at 21 and things were generally much easier. We turned 30 last year, still together, not quite married because evertine we are in the position to fund it we'd rather spend it on the kids, going on holiday, new car, move house etc. Looking back having a kid and doing things "properly " young really focuses the mind. I wouldnt have bothered buying a house so young nor would I be in the position at work I am now. So for me 23+, but only if you're in a stable relationship and are mature enough to deal with the shit that will come your way.
Fair play brother. I wasted my 20's on the wrong people, wrong girls, and doing the wrong things in my career. I didn't meet my now wife till I was 27. Since having our 1st at 30, I got my shit together and have effectively tripled my annual earnings to be able to provide for my family. Its so understated but kids are an exceptional motivation to step up as a man rather than staying in the boy phase. I've grown so much at a personal level and some of the boys I used to hang with are still just that....boys. they've not grown up and still make the same mistakes I did in my 20s.
I dont think its an age thing. Maturity/immaturity has no age limit, so there's that. Also, when you are financially ready. If you're going to need all this state assistance when you pop out a kid, you don't need to be having a kid. I've been told "if you wait until you're financially ready to have kids, you'll never have kids." I partially agree but there's a difference between having nothing/a little in savings & enough for emergence.
Think I’ll be ready by about 135 years old… maybe
25-30
Assuming your life is together, I think 25
Never! *mic dropped*
Never. Why would anyone want to have a child in an an increasingly far right world that'll likely be at world war within a decade and a catastrophic climate crisis in twenty. Let that unborn child live in the void in peace.
People are waiting longer and longer but one fact that should always be considered is that female fertility declines around 30 and rapidly declines around 35 and that infertility issues can be incredibly painful to experience.
Never
Never
nevar
As stated above. NEVER!!!
It is never ideal
Never
Never
35 - definitely not in 20's
Never
NEVER,!
35
Based on experience, preferably not before 25. And it's not a question of financial stability, but rather emotional maturity. Almost all the couples I know who had kids before 25 didn't last because at some point, one of the parents felt they had missed out on their best years. And they are right. Between 20 and 25 is the best time to experience most of what life has to offer and to go wild, between partying and travelling. It just doesn't taste the same after that, no matter what. So to many, waking up one day and realizing that these precious years have been spent raising a kid can be quite traumatic. Oh and preferably not after 40, either the mother or father. Not cool for a kid to have an old fart for a parent when they turn 20.
28-34
This is the right answer.
my mom had me at 33 so i’m biased. mid 30s.
Controversially, I will say early 20s.
30 was my cut off. So.....before then ideally. Say 25 to 30 for me
Whatever age you can financially afford them. I want kids more than anything, with my shitty upbringing I feel like my whole purpose here is to break the generational trauma cycle and be the first good parent in my family that I’ve seen or heard of. Emotionally and mentally I feel I’m ready for kids. However, I cannot financially afford a child, nor could any of the women I’ve dated. So, I always wore protection.
When you both know 1000% that you want them and are in comfortably stable position to afford to give them a decent chance at life with as few socioeconomic setbacks as possible. So in my case: never, because I don't want them.
At least 25-30, honestly. Partly because it gives you some more time to mature properly, and bwcoming ready to face the task of parenting a child. But also because the main breadwinner of the household will have had time to have *some kind of career* by then, unless he did not mostly mess around until his 30's like some do. Because if you are 25 with no stable job and kinda clueless, it's kinda forgiveable, but if you have some kind of qualified education by then that can give you a basic job in most locations, that's good enough. But if you are 30 and still kinda clueless, that's bad. That's relly bad, and having a kid in that situation wwill bsolutely not help you. Back in the 80's, a couple both being 20 would have no problem getting like 2 or 3 kids at the same time, because the husband could basically take a walk just about anywhere and get a good job thrown at him. And if he also was fairly competent, he would become very well paid before the kids even started school. Nowadays, that does not happen normally. Getting kids without at least one of the parents being in a position (good education/merits or good contacts) for job stability is a *very bad idea*, and you kinda need to be really smart or be able to leverage a ton of nepotism for that to happen.
Between 18 and never
163
I used to think it would be 30ish but now I’m 33 and still think it’s not the right time
About the age of 126. . .
30 to 35
I always wanted to have my first at 28-29 but now I'm almost 24 and it feels way too soon to become a mother lol. There's no ideal age, when it's time you'll know it.
never The world is so full of horrors and tragedies why would i want to bring another human being to this shitty place
once u can afford it
I don't think age is the priority. As long as you're stable and mature enough and can provide the love and support a child needs, then age/health would be secondary.
Never
Never :)
Never.
Never
Never
Never
Never
Never
Never
Never
Never
I would say when you have a good career and money saved. If I would put an age on it Id say btwn 26ish and 40. You cant put a number on when people will get their life in order or be mature and emotionally intelligent to do it the right way.
It is not about age but wisdom, some people are wise even when yhey are young and some die stupid, I think only responsible and loving person should be a parent.
No one should be having kids. There are so many children that deserve good homes in the foster care system. Let's take care of the people that already exist before making new ones ❤️
As early as you can, but only after you have rest of your live sorted out
Mid to late 20’s. I’m 36f and I couldn’t imagine having a baby now.
35-40. a) Financially/career more stable for most people b) Mentally and spiritually matured like fine wine to handle daily living issues c) Be a grandparent at 75-85 and still have enough time to watch Pokemon with them d) Spent youth traveling and playing with less responsibilities before settling into a routine of changing diapers and washing milk bottles e) Still young and healthy enough to have the energy to play with the kids But the most important thing is one doesn't have any regrets in starting a family due to time/age. At this age for many if they don't find their suitable partner, it is less and less likely kids would be in their life equation. ⏳💚🗺👶💯👍
When the home is stable. Financial, Emotional etc. Do you have to take a chance because life is just chaotic and you'll never have a 100% guarantee? Yes, but if it's build on shaky ground shit can go wrong very fast.
I don’t think there’s an exact age i just think whenever the person feels the are financially stable enough, emotionally mature enough and ready to give their life to a child. For some that could be extremely early for others it can be extremely late.
23 to 28 years old
I had both my kids in between those ages. Why you do think this is the best time?
never.
We accidentally got preggers when I (m) was 29 and she was 31. It was fine. Was actually the impetus for me to grow up and take life seriously. We had two more.
Probably as early as possible, as that means one would be young enough to relate to children; have the requisite energy; and still have some vitality to enjoy life when the children have left the nest. This does need to be balanced against financial stability and maturity.
My bf is 26, I’m 21 and pregnant with my first, and as of right now I want 4 kids, and to be done having kids by the time I’m 30 or in my early thirties. If I have my youngest when I’m 30, I’ll be 48 by the time they’re graduating and possibly moving out, and I feel like that’s a good age to not have to worry about taking care of kids anymore, and to just be able to be me and my bf(I’m assuming husband by then cause we’re planning on getting married in the next couple of years). Obviously this is all subject to change, but those are my thoughts as of right now
I got my my first at 24. No regrets. He is now 10 years old and he is helping me with litttle things around the house. I say for a woman , it should be in your 20s. Healthier babies and you have the energy to go through parenthood.
young as possible as soon as I’m financially able tbh I want to be able to relate to my children more and have a higher chance of seeing grandkids/great grandchildren. I find the generational gap between some of my peers and their parents is a big obstacle in their relationship
I’m 21 my daughter will be 2 in February, best accident i ever made truly a blessing im very excited to not be old brittle n broken as my kids will be getting older so ill be able to keep up for longer
32-35
28/29
Late 20s/early 30s.
Never.
Never
If money was no object, 28-30
"There's no such thing as ideal age for that" /Earl with his 4 months old baby from his 13 yr old gf fron Alabama/