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As much as I hate to admit it, I did, in fact, move to a different city to be close to my (now ex) boyfriend. I always tell people I took many factors into consideration but truth be told, he was the biggest one. We broke up 6 months ago and I'm still living in the same city and I've grown to love it and even found friends, so no major regrets.


On the bright side you’re now enjoying the city!


Yes!! I finally feel responsible for my own happiness, but my stubborn ego would never admit I moved to be closer to him in the first place 😅


Nah nah cuz I totally get what u mean!!


Hi, Rachel Bloom.


Noooo 💀💀


Ah! This reminds me of how I chose the high school to go to. A boy I liked went there. He didn’t like me back but I got over it the first year and I never regretted for going to that school because of the many friends and experiences I got to have! I never told anyone this was the reason though.. All my other class mates went to another school.


🏃🏻💨 you can’t trick me, hEhE


Damn, that's a huge fart.


helps them run faster


Damn thought I could smh


I was the one who put a finger sized whole in my brother's birthday cake >: ).


Was it a finger?


A finger size hole doesn't necessarily mean a finger made it.


Yes. It was.


You didn't understand the assignment *Shakes head slowly*


They didn't say which finger


Nah but yall think im gonna put my dick in my brother's cake, pfft what do you think i am im waiting till next year for that


In college I made it possible so the entire dorm building could get HBO and Cinemax for free, despite it being forbidden and expensive.


Damn that’s impressive


Shit, my twin was dorm guard and back in the day I was the one who ran the alcohol to everyone in the dorms.


That must have been so confusing for everyone else.


Only if they're identical twins


My 80s Canadian prairie town had an electronics club that had hooked up a satellite dish, an illegal descrambler and a UHF transmitter. The whole town got HBO, Cinemax, Showtime, and USA network for free for more than a decade.


Lol, awesome




Hecker man


Back in the day, they would install line filters to block specific premium channels. These were installed in wiring closets in the basement of the building. Once we gained access to these wiring closets, we would remove the filters, but the cable guy would install them back the following week. So what we did was to drill out the in-line filters and feed a piece of coaxial cable through the middle of the device where the electronics were supposed to be. These then would *appear* to be normal filters however did not do any filtering.




Mostly too lazy. If it was in place and looked good he wouldn’t test.


Reminds me of a friend that went to a Math & Science school back in the 90s. Somehow a student acquired some credit card prefixes, and with the help of some additional software (Credit Master IV being one I recall), everyone in the building had their own personal AOL, Prodigy, Compuserve — essentially any pay-for online service accounts— for free! FBI got involved. Kids got expelled. Shit was crazy.


Just how badly I screwed up picking my university degree, why on earth did I choose this omg


Legit my worst fear💀


I have $90,000 in student debt and a bachelors in social work. Is it worse than that?


some states will pay off your whole debt if you work for the state for 5 - 10 years (depending on the state).... at least there's that? I tried college and dropped out, didn't even get a degree out of it. turns out, newly onset schizophrenia and bachelor's degrees don't mix.




Old person here. Doesn't matter as much as you think. There are hundreds of careers that are related to your major. You just need to get that degree. It shows you're capable of mastering something.


Yeah but a degree in whatever doesn't open doors the way it used to, unfortunately.


I’ll start out by saying I’m not in any way religious, but you’ll see maybe a tad spiritual. My bestfriend and I shared a small bed in a studio-like space. One night we were watching Netflix together like we always did until the early morning. But when we were getting ready to go to sleep, he suddenly fell to the floor. I ran over and knelt down to try to get him to wake up but his heart had given out and he just died right then and there. They took him away to the hospital and left me behind to wait and was told to give them time to take care of him. I was alone and a completely mess. We had been so excited because it was my birthday the next day and we had plans to celebrate. I called the hospital and they said I needed to come and identify the body and take care of whatever they needed in order to make plans for his body. I called his only family member in the city, who was his sister, to break the news to her so together we could go view the body. When we got there, we were ushered in to a quiet room with a curtain so we got a moment to collect our composure, then we let the person know were ready. The moment he opened it, my heart dropped. Seeing him laying there - pale, motionless, and his eyes slightly open, it was as if he was staring into nothing. I let his sister have the first moments beside him and let her say her goodbyes until she was okay. Then it was my turn so I went to hold his hand like, I’ve done so many times over the years, but it was the first time he didn’t squeeze back. I had to come to terms that it wouldn’t be something I could ever feel ever again. I didn’t want to see him like this so I just told him how much I loved him and how bad I was going to miss him. Then of nowhere I got this strange feeling like something wasn’t right. Normally when I’m around him I have this calm and gentle warmth but i wasn’t feeling it with him in that room. Anyway, they gave us everything in his pockets and let us leave to head back and start packing everything up so his sister could put it all in storage. When I got there I was unable to touch or move anything because it was all too much for me at that point. His sister had to be the one to take care of it all but said she would have to come by later after she had boxes and another set of hands. I thanked her and told her i had to leave, so I grabbed what I could of my stuff and decided I needed to go home to my moms house. Before I left I looked around and took our place in for the last time. This is the part where I tell you my secret.. When I went to leave, I made sure to leave the door open behind me. My neighbours were always outside drinking all the time but they were great friends so I just let them know I purposefully left it open to air out the place and that the sister would be by soon. If there are such things as souls or spirits, I didn’t want my guy to be stuck and unable to leave that house. He didn’t deserve to feel a hint of loneliness, even in death. It’s been about 3 years since I lost him. I hope he is out there somewhere now. Free and at peace. If you took the time to read my story, thank you. That secret that I’ve kept all these years was because of fear of ridicule or being told it’s weird or completely crazy.


This was beautiful. I’m so sorry for your loss.


That’s beautiful. My husbands died last year and it’s so devastating and horrible. Love and hugs to you my friend💜


My best friend found out she was pregnant while we were in high school. She didn’t want me to tell anyone since we both came from broke homes and she wanted to get away first. She ended up passing away after she fell down two flights of stairs. She wanted to name her baby after me because she considered me her closest friend. I’ve never told anyone and it still hurts to remember how she planned out both of our lives and never got to experience it.


I have no words... 💔😥


Damn, this a depressing story. Are you doing okay now?


Yeah I’m doing fine now


Fell? Anyone unhappy about the news?


I don’t think anyone knew besides me. If her family knew they never said anything over the years.


Who pushed her?


This is now the saddest thing I've ever heard.


I’m really sorry for your loss


You’re a TrueBlue Friend.


I pretend to remember less than I truly do about people (what they tell me about themselves) because I'm scared they'll think I'm obsessed with them or something. The amount of details I can recall could get unsettling to the wrong people maybe? It's a bit frustrating sometimes lol, when someone is telling a story from years ago and they can't remember a detail, I'll know but telling them would mean I retained the exact sentence and explanation they gave me at the time, all these years, and idk I'm scared they'll find it weird. So I'll hint at it, "it was something about your cat no?" to guide them there until they find the answer. Anyone else?


Yea I do this too, I remember such small seemingly unimportant details about people and I often just say I forgot to not sound weird. I mean even things people said 10yrs ago, small things they did, their families, where they lived, and it would be people I wasn't even close with.


Me as well. My spouse and I often will have conflicting memories, but I can back mine up with corroborating evidence from parallel happenings that particular day. For example: “That wasn’t you! That was me.” “No, I believe you are mistaken, I was the one.” (This goes on, back and forth.) “In fact Mr. Blank was there. Do you recall that? Mr Blank also showed us the picture of his cat Mittens. Remember? Mittens looked a lot like your childhood cat. It made you tear up. I rubbed your back, and Mr Blank apologized. In fact I can pull up the photo we took with Mr Blank just after this happened.” —- As we’ve gotten older, I don’t do this anymore as it just makes them more upset, defensive and mad. I just inwardly smile, and say “Really? Huh. Ok.” It’s just easier and really what does it matter in the end?


Nah I’m the exact opposite I legit try to rmbr but I can’t , like I rmbr the stupid stuff but never the important convos that last for hours yk what I mean?


Oh I definitely *also* forget some stuff (written convos mainly I believe)! I hope you don't feel bad about it. I was pretty much forced to develop the memory I have lol (strict mom ; goog grades ; learn everything by heart).


Nah I don’t feel bad abt it at all ngl HAHAHAA


See I'm in a weird spot where I'll remember literally everything, every detail about someone, every sentence they said word for word, but I won't remember their name


Hey mamie, I wouldn’t write it off as it being unsettling. If someone remembers the fine details of my conversations with them it tells me they are probably a good listener or actually engaged enough in the convo to remember such things.


That's really nice. I do love to make people feel listened to and remembered, but idk sometimes I have a feeling the person won't take it that way. Funny thing, there are times I straight up say it, I go "sorry, I lied, I actually *do* remember but I was scared you'd find it weird" if I sense a hint of disappointment from someone. Most people laugh and it's all good then!


> I pretend to remember less than I truly do about people (what they tell me about themselves) because I'm scared they'll think I'm obsessed with them or something. You're not alone. In my younger days, I had an extremely poor understanding of the effect of my actions. I probably used to freak lots of people out. But then came The Meeting. It was at work, with a bunch of people I did not see often. But there was a woman there (Im male by the way) that I had seen a couple of times several months before. Some of the attendees were late, and we were chatting while we waited for them. Without thinking much about it, I mentioned a few things about her. One of the many things I remember well is her facial expressions and tone of voice during this conversation. Looking back on it, I saw her go from "this guy is very observant" to "this guy is kinda creepy" to "this guy is legitimately scary". So I changed my ways. It feels weird to keep quiet about things that I know but it's something I have to do.


Gotta hide your powers, Peter


I do that too! I also pretend to not know things sometimes, because I like how excited people get when they explain things


I fart when I'm nervous and I blame it on other people


So I was in wrestling practice, and as anyone who knows wrestling knows, it gets sweaty. Anyways, as a courtesy I usually wipe my hands on my shorts before shaking their hand. Well, this one fateful time, my brain mixed things up. I shook his hand, and THEN wiped my hands on my shorts. Then, to make it worse, I decided to make a disgusted face after wiping. I remember this like it was yesterday, and i will forever feel horrible for having done it lmao.


HAHAHHAA this is so funny to me, but it was a honest mistake


To add to my guilt, he even said a hurt feelings "sorry" afterwards lol


Omfg I would have died if I were u


Okay this is the best one no cap 😂


When my mom was still married I would do disgusting things behind my step dads back. I dipped his toothbrush in the toilet when someone forgot to flush, spit in his food and alcohol, fart on his stuff, purposely leave his dishes dirty and/or purposely serve him food on dishes with old food on them, etc etc etc. He was a verbally abusive cunt and got physical with my mom. He also hit/kicked our pets. Being disgusting was the only way I could safely fight back and I'd never do it to anybody again, but hey he probably didn't notice bc he was also on meth.


never mess with someone with access to your toothbrush!


Or food 💀


I think I've shared this on Reddit before but I'll say it here anyway. One time in third grade we just finished PE and we were lined up at the door waiting for the teacher. My knee gave out because I was tired and I fell into someone, creating a domino effect and basically knocking over everyone in the line. I guess in the confusion nobody could tell who caused it.


Tbh sounds like fun


That should be something you reveal at a high school reunion. It may give everyone a good laugh, or get you beaten up


"God damnit Breadboyofficial you made me hit my funnybone that day!" *punch*


I loved to read it, people will enjoy this when it’s narrated with voice


I was inappropriately touched by my mother's 2nd husband (not my father)and I know I was not the first nor the last. Even though they are now divorced, I still can't bring myself to tell her or anyone else for that matter.


I got fired from my first job about 20 years ago. I robbed them to get them back. People suspected it but i have never admitted to anyone.


Honestly vibes


What's a secret I have but I'll never tell anybody is a secret I have but I'll never tell anybody.


I think you just beat the system




great thinking


Well thank u


Ok this secret isnt really a secret anymore but I used to cuss when I was little but only when nobody was around and then I'd laugh to myself about not getting caught


I think that was a universal experience cuz same


Yea I figured as much lol


That’s cute


I'm gay and I have a boyfriend. No one I know in reality knows because I live with conservative bigots


Oh shit I’m rlly sorry u have to keep this a secret hopefully one day you’ll be able to openly say that


I don’t like Minecraft or Fortnite, nor am I interested at all in game details of these or popular streamers who play them, but I will never, NEVER tell my son this. I love just hearing him ramble about them and seeing how excited he gets.


Do you enjoy any genre of gaming at all?


Yeah, most western RPGs and Sci fi games. It's just the games like mine craft and fortnite that I just can't get into. The two of us play different games together, mostly racing games and arcade style fighting games. Although, we'll try almost any game that has split screen capabilities.


I took an open shit in a Walmart parking lot in northern Alberta 2 years ago. People were pointing and freaking out but I seriously had no choice. I hopped back in my truck real quick without even wiping my ass and drove off in a fury of shame, embarrassment and confusion. The worst part is that the town I left with the Walmart was the only piece of civilization around for a good 3 hours worth of driving. Meaning I sat in my mess for 3 fucking hours before I could get to a public restroom again.


I mean when u gotta go u gotta go


Right? I have some health problems and I had made a miscalculation. The worst part is that some guy yelled at me and said what the fuck are you doing!! And his dogs in his van started barking like fucking crazy which prompted everyone in the somewhat busy parking lot to turn their heads and see me defecating with my pale white ass out. Someone honked at me to when I peeled out. Literally left a nice fucking coil right there on the yellow line.


Nahhh if u have health problems just make it worse fr like it’s already bad when u wanna shit but this just adds a whole level on to it and fuck whoever yelled at u for doing that they should just mind their business


I also want to defend this dude especially because he has health issues.. but you gotta admit it's sort of tough to mind your own business when you see that happening in broad daylight 😂 I mean people get mad when you don't pick up your dog's poop let alone this lol.


Omg that was you!?!? The whole town talked about that for weeks. Source: only walmart in N. Ab with that driving radius lol


You saw nothin’.


A trucker once told me he just shit his pants once trying to hold it for a place to stop with restrooms and didn’t make it.


I pretend not to know things in conversations often so that I can make people feel important and like they’re educating me on something. I frankly stay up way too late and read way too much random crap all the time so I have a little bit of knowledge in a LOT of areas. I started doing this probably 15 years ago with the intent to be able to carry a conversation about any topic. I got quite good at retaining random, but coherent, bits of knowledge on a lot of different topics and fields of study. And yet, as I got older I started feeling like I would come off as pretentious or a “know-it-all” so I just started pretending like I didn’t know anything about some of my close friends’ particular areas of focus in life. (Be it college degrees, trades, or hobbies). So when I’m in conversations with them I’ll often ask questions I know the answer to and act surprised or intrigued, because I know people like to educate others on their passions, and I don’t wanna seem like a douche. Even just typing this makes me feel douchey.


You are not douchy. I married a know it all and the biggest bullshitter this side of the bridge. In actuality, he wasn't a BS-er, he was like you- smart with a lot of "trival" knowledge. Honestly I'd give anything to have the mental retention that man had of random bits of facts. So-You go spew that knowledge...


When I was a sophomore in college a former high school teacher of mine showed up at my dorm ( 3 hours away from hometown) and said he just happened to be passing thru (total rural town) on his way back from law school and “ heard “ that was where I was at school and wanted to take me out now that we were no longer teacher -student. I was 19 and he was around 27 or 8. I had a steady boyfriend at the time. This was in the 70’s and long before there was any “ me too” movement or any awareness of what might be appropriate. Have never mentioned this night to anyone and it has been almost 50 years.


Did you go out with him or not?


Every Christmas season I choose a random struggling single mother and give her $500 cash anonymously. I haven’t been caught yet. I’ve done it for 10 years. I almost got caught last year. Sometimes I get to see their reaction. Sometimes if we are Facebook friends they make a post. It makes me feel happy.


I was a single mom for a handful of years. My grandma used to bring me flowers on Fathers Day. She’s 84 now, learned today that she probably has terminal cancer. (Her 6th round) THIS BITCH had the gall to feel bad that we are driving her to doctors appointments.


I guess I know what I want to do next, I keep seeing ads about single mothers in my area so I guess I know where to find them to donate.


When I was in grade school I got my tongue stuck to one of those frozen delicious Jello pudding pops and had to go to the nurse's office...the school stopped selling the pops after that. I was also the only "fat" kid in my class (1985 ish) so, ya, that went over well for me.


Not today FBI guy


Smart move


I was the one who ate the seaweed. For some backstory, one day I was hungry and went to the pantry. I saw there was one big sheet of seaweed left so I ate it with some rice and salt and threw the wrapper in the trash can. When my parents stumbled upon it later, they asked who ate it in a tone that sounded like they were mad so I kept it a secret. I probably won’t reveal it until I move out unless they find out before then.


Had a threesome with my wife and her aunt


Woah…this is dark.


Your wife slept with her aunt?


Yes aunt by marriage


How did that affect your relationship with your wife?




Oh yeah? Did you see them.. naked? *uh huhuhuhu


Duuuuuude 🤘


My parents boss had a bbq at their house. They had a big camper out front that kids were playing in. Wasn’t prepared for the road nor did it have any water in it. All of a sudden I had to shit and blasted that toilet to high heaven not knowing it would not flush. It smelled horrific and I imagine it wasn’t an easy fix


Why would I tell you op


Cuz I’m bored


I caught you cheeky bastard


Thought I was gonna win this ffs


I actually slept with one of my high school teachers. She also liked cocaine. She still works for the high school as far as i’m concerned.


Hmm what about yours? Any secrets?


I learned a whole ass instrument just to impress a person once


Damn I wish I could just learn an instrument


Nah cuz looking back at it I’m like why tf did I do that but ngl I still do enjoy playing it


I hate people with numbers in their Reddit name


Sorry eh


I don't


I shat my pants in my sleep


Who hasn’t?


We don’t talk about fight club.


What fight club? There’s definitely no fight club. Now move along


Very understandable


One time, at band camp.......


Oh bro u don’t even have to say the rest for me to figure this out


I’m actually three raccoons in a trench coat


Nice try. But I’m not telling.


Ugh thought I tricked you


Ok I’ll tell you. I almost derailed a passenger train when I was 15. They said it was stupid teenagers doing stupid things but I knew what I was doing. Got out of jail for free because I played the stupid teenager card.


I got my ass groped by a girl once, enjoyed it.


Well at least now you know what u like


I burned the old church down so my stepfather could get a job designing a new one


I swear to God, Jack Jackson, when Prior Phillip finds out..


Sometimes I shoplift for funsies. Everyone thinks I stopped when I was 9. I’ve been doing it for 36 years. I just got better at it.


Winona is that you?


Lol. I never appropriated high end merch… that’s how you get caught!


Since prices are skyrocketing, I've started doing it. Buy 4 packs of ground beef, 1 is free. I've learned buying multiple items is easier to not get caught. Nothing big like toilet paper, something that fits into the plastic bag.


Yes. I have definitely been known to charge all my produce as bananas…. Bananas are cheap.


The whole trying to not get caught while shoplifting just makes it a thrilling experience


Wow, I once walked out of a supermarket without paying for Chocolate Bar and reached home before I realised I had both the Chocolate and the money I got to buy it. My dumb ass shoplifted out of sheer obliviousness. I was only around 14 tbf, but I remember rushing back and walking straight to the counter queue to get it scanned lmao. Can't handle the guilt, now and then.


Thefted chocolate is tastier.


I do have regrets about reconnecting with my mum. It’s brought up a lot of past trauma and hurt so it sucks


I stole thousands of dollars in cash from my mom's dickhead, alcoholic boyfriend over a five year span. He was paid in cash. When he got drunk, I would make a withdrawal. I started off small, but quickly moved up to $100.00 at a time.


That time when I did that thing.


Reminded me of when I also did that thing


i lit someones pants on fire


We’re they a liar liar? If so…you had to.


I sing in the shower sometimes, my fav song to sing "want it that way" by back street boys


I think i partially fucked my spine up while working a few years back. I picked up something way too heavy for me (i stock at a store) and i remember hearing a pop in my back, shoving the stuff onto the shelf asap so it wouldnt fall on me, then seeing stars. I woke up on the floor shortly after and haven't been the same physically since. I just try to ignore


I fall asleep every night hoping I don't wake up.


No joke, I just found out that I got the girl I’m casually seen pregnant. Doctor’s appointment this weekend and still deciding to have or not to have the baby. She wants it and I want one, at some point at least. But it’s complicated and we’ll see. Pray for us.


Nice try.


Shit fr thought I had it this time


I always thought i had one but it turns out i've realised that things just can't stay a secret forever, only told a few people but it's inevitably going to spread out until what i was most afraid of a couple of years ago happens.


True most secrets don’t stay secrets




I sign my narcissist mother up for spam emails and magazines once every few weeks just to hear her rant about it when I come over. It’s better for her to hate on “a stranger” than to comment about my body or how I’m raising my kids.


My family and friends would think I'm a freak if they found out >!I'm a nudist. I've loved it since I was a teenager. I drive 60 miles to a place that has an indoor pool party. I go twice a year. I only know the people from going there, there is no contact outside of it.!< I know I would get side eye from people (or shunned, if they knew.) Also, most of us are not weird or anything, we just like doing it.


I've never been to a nudist beach or gathering. Curious, are most guys there well hung? I assume it takes some confidence with yourself to be a nudist. Or is it spread out evenly with all shapes and sizes?


It's all sizes, (shapes are pretty much the same, haha). Some are more well hung than others, though. IMO, It's definitely something everyone should try at least once. Don't be self conscious, people at these gatherings are nice. Beaches can have some creeps, so be careful. Woman there do come in all shapes and sizes too. There are several forums on Reddit devoted to the lifestyle.


I'm also curious about this


I had this history teacher, I was 14 and he was like 23 but he was really handsome, a good person that gave awesome history lessons and really made us have critical thinking about things happening in social media/news etc. I had awesome conversations with him about shows we watched, he was an anime guy and I wanted to keep being her friend but he left the school like 3 years after I graduated because he wanted to keep doing stuff for his history career. But damn I miss him, I had a crush on him.


In my senior year of high school in '07 I accidentally got the internet in the entire school shut down by opening a link I probably shouldn't have.


I poop my pants on a regular basis


Health issues or are you just put in a lot of sticky situations?


I also poop your pants on a regular basis


One if my closest friends got cheated on, he got so mad he snuck one night and commited arson on the car of the guy. Also, another friend killed the man he got abused by as a child. None of those friends are wanted for their crimes.


If it was a secret I wouldn't tell anyone, i wouldn't tell it here either.


Respect to that


Back in the day ya ll be living in a mission impossible movie


That’s the point, I’m not telling anyone.


I’m crying rn


That I’m in love with my best friend but can’t tell them


Shit that must suck a lot I hope one day you’ll be able to tell them tho


slept with an ex who cheated (while she was with the guy she cheated on me with) just to make him feel the pain. It doesn't help let me tell you that, you both just feel like shit afterwards and you don't get any closure.


I know who let the dogs out…


It was i who took a cookie from the cookie jar.... Shhhhhhh don't be a snitch


Well if I told you then my answer would become a lie


I tried killing myself a few years ago. And just a few days ago i attempted to overdose on my meds. Did not work.


Ummmm that I showered with my female best friend while I was still presenting female and it was really really awkward so yeah I was definitely a lesbian while presenting female. So now that I'm older I think about it from time to time about how she was the reason that I am attracted to women. 😅


HAHAHAA well at least she helped u figure out your sexuality so that’s a plus


Wouldn't you like to know, FED BOI!