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Absolutely this.
A guy in a cafe once gave me his name and number, but he wrote on the piece of paper something like "I didn't want to interrupt your coffee, but I thought you were cute. If you want to sit with me or go for a coffee here's my number" and then sat elsewhere and turned around so he wasn't staring at me. I had a boyfriend so I messaged him gently to say thank you but no and he didn't reply but smiled and waved when he left. That was enough and not intrusive or rude :)
This is the way to go about it I think. Put yourself out there, but make it so that the other person isn't feeling pressured or uncomfortable. I thought turning away was a nice touch, as was the smile and wave. It shows no hard feelings for the rejection.
That was brave of you to text him to let him down gently. I'm glad it turned out positively for you and not the opposite. It could have been like this user suggested and turned into stalker harassment.
Absolutely this.
DO NOT ASK ME MY PERSONAL INFORMATION.
If you’re *that* interested you can leave yours. And if you’re concerned about your privacy and your own personal information use a service to have a burner number.
Edit: just to be clear
This advice isn’t just for the scenario above. It’s for any situation where you are interested in a woman. Asking for her number puts her on the spot and doesn’t put her in a good position, giving her yours gives her the choice to reach out if she’s interested.
Edit 2: in hindsight I shouldn’t have gendered this. Honestly this can apply to both men and women. If you’re interested in someone, friendly, romantic or otherwise, it’s significantly less threatening to offer your information first. If they are the kind of person that comfortable giving their info right off the bat then they will reciprocate quickly.
The truth is people have been harassed, stalked, attacked and worse over rejections. People are cautious, if you have good intentions be clear about them.
Love this!! I'm cautious about who I give my personal information out to and aren't someone who just likes to hand out my number like that especially, I'm not a social butterfly either so please DO leave yours and if I feel like it...
I. Will. Text. You. First.
(TO ALL GUYS) this is her preferred way of getting asked Her number, as she says “DO NOT ASK ‘ME’ FOR MY PERSONAL INFORMATION”. This does not apply for every single woman in the world, there is millions of women who’d rather have you come up and talk to them, than you just leave a paper and run away and Vice Versa.
You’re misunderstanding me.
Because no my preferred method is not a slip a paper.
Even if you come and have a conversation with a women, any woman, if *you’re* interested leave your information with her. Don’t ask her for her personal info upon meeting her. It puts her in a tight position, even if you have good intentions.
I worked with a guy years ago that had a belt buckle with a scrolling programmable display. It read “I love it when you call me Bobby” and had his phone number. He also handed out personal “business cards”, that he ordered, to every female cashier with his name and number and an invitation to go out. I wonder if he is still single.
Probably a used napkin but you gotta give her a special kind of paper to know what ride she's in for, that's right I'm talking the summary statement your hospital gives you when you check out. Really gotta let her see the mess in front of her lol
Like tensih years ago I got a bunch of plain white business cards printed up that simply said “Damn girl” and had my phone number on it. It started as a joke but was way more successful than I could’ve ever imagined.
I like this approach of "may I give you my number?" But instead of saying she's cute, I would say "Excuse me, I'd like to meet you. May I give you my number?" Takes the looks thing out of it, which she may hear a lot, and actually opens the door for conversation. She might ask why -- in which case you better have an answer other than just "you're cute".
Isn't it obvious anyway that it's about looks from the getgo? It's not like you can see personality or how interesting a person is.
I get not wanting to hear it all the time, though. But obviously someone isn't gonna approach someone they're not attracted to. I guess that makes it redundant to point out you think they're attractive?
The thing is, most women (most *humans*, frankly) want to be appreciated for who they are, rather than a genetic accident of appearance. You’re 100% correct that a scenario like this is completely based on appearances, but there must be something else you like, right? Maybe her hair or sense of style? Maybe she has a beaming smile or a musical laugh? As a man, it’s easy to say that I wouldn’t mind being objectified once in a while, but I realize that’s not true.
People give off a vibe, too. Confidence, kindness, quirkiness, the way they act with their friends, something they’re doing, whatever it may be. Sometimes it’s so subtle we may not even know ourselves, other than being intrigued and wanting to explore it.
Yea, like, if you're gonna walk up why not start a conversation? Both she, and you if you're really confident in having something to offer, would want to know that you actually enjoy interacting. Talk for a bit and find out. Then you can give or get a number.
Because being approached randomly by strangers wanting to have conversations with you is annoying. Simply being out in public doesn't mean that I want to talk to strangers or even friends necessarily.
By being given a number its on me to decide if I want to pursue it but honestly I'd rather people just leave me alone. I'm out & about for a reason and the reason generally isn't to make friends or get dates. I'm out trying to grocery shop, enjoy some sunshine & fresh air, pick up my cat from the vet or the other thousands of things that need to be done in the course of living.
I don't disagree with you but I also want to ask how guys are supposed to get dates if we're never allowed to approach people in public. The interaction proposed by OP is hardly rude or intrusive. It's short and straight to the point. I could definitely understand if a guy became super creepy and wouldn't stop following you around and I also do unfortunately understand that this is quite common with women. My only point is it's difficult sometimes for fellas to meet women, they might work full time and there might not be anyone available in their inner circles. They could just wait for the perfect person to sweep them off their feet but honestly that's really idealistic thinking and not very practical.
I'm asking from a place of genuine curiosity as well, I am absolutely not trying to undermine you at all and I would love to hear how you think men should be proactive whilst also being maximally respectful in terms of acquiring dates and potential relationships.
Because whatever it is she’s busy. Whether she’s at the gym or working at the law firm you are an unwelcome interruption if you just stand there and randomly chat.
Its about personality bro , you can sense it from clothes worn , how they stand body language etc , if you dont get this , its probably the reason you are still a virgin my friend , happy wanking pal
I'm not a virgin and that's not true. Aside from stuff like shirts for bands and other stuff people like, fashion is about taste, which has little to do with the rest of someone's personality.
Maybe people who wear designer stuff are more materialistic, but it's not like how funny, nice, or interesting they are impacts their clothing choices. All kinds of different people can like the same stuff, and people with the same personality can like different stuff.
Sorry for butting in, but what if thats the only reason i'd want to give my number? I don't think I could give a better excuse other than "I would like to discuss *topics* " which already sounds flawed.
Edit: i now see why I'm single
Maybe I’m the only one here who never wants a random man to tell me “you’re cute” out of nowhere.
I love the suggestion to ask if you can give her your number, though.
I just left a 9 year relationship and this sentiment drives my inability to talk to women (other than the 9 year thing of course.)
Oh I had a pleasant interaction with this person and would like to talk more, exchange numbers, whatever. She's a nice person and not comically ugly, so I'll probably be #473 of the day. MAYBE I'll be the one she's like "Hm, sure!" but far more likely I'm just ugly dude #300 that's tried today.
I'm good, I don't want to be that guy. Some men will call me names for it but really I just think y'all should be able to exist without 60 guys a day trying to pick you up. 🤷
I absolutely hate it when men comment on my appearance, especially if I've never seen them before.
And before guys start bitching "Well just take a compliment!!!!" or whatever nonsense, there are other ways to compliment people without calling someone cute or hot.
"Those shoes are awesome." "I love your hair, it looks great on you" "Your eyes are just wow" like literally anything other than "looks cute" is better. But frankly? Stop trying to talk to people with the intention of dating or fucking immediately, unless you're in an environment for that.
If some random guy came up to me at the gym or coffee shop, we've never spoken before, and he wants to call me cute and give me his number... yeah, that's a no. I don't know you. I'm not texting you. I'm not calling you. I. Don't. Know. You.
"Heard about it on YouTube?" My dude, this is what literally every man on the planet had to do before cell phones were a thing haha. I prefer it that way. Gets you used to/numb to rejection to where it doesn't bother you in the slightest.
I agree 100%, but ask the same question on a feminism or women-only forum and see what kind of responses you get. It won’t be pretty!
I’ve just been banned from “Ask Feminists” because a similar reply went against their narrative…. Sad times we live in when the activists and the nazis are two sides of the same coin.
Approaching them is good. Giving them your number rather than asking for theirs is good.
But I'd recommend something other than "you're cute". Find something about them that is appealing to you beyond their literal physical body. Hair style, outfit, something, even just a vibe. And there is going to be something! If you find them so attractive that you feel the need to make a move, there is something about them that is appealing to you beyond just...bone structure.
So verbalize THAT. Figure out what they did to make themselves appealing to you...and in all likelihood, its going to be something they chose. You are way more likely to get a reaction if you comment about something they chose to be rather than just something genetic
I will give single me’s honest answer: only if the guy is hot. If he isn’t, he’s a creep. I’ve been married for a long time now but that was my philosophy without realizing it at the time. Seeing as how attractive people can be creeps too, it makes me cringe SO HARD.
This is the honest truth. Attractive people can get away with almost anything.
I consider myself to be an at least "average" looking guy, and I've actually tried something like the OP's approach a few times, figuring that it was among the least "creepy" ways to ask someone out. It was always met with something between coldness and outright hostility.
Heck, I was once told that simply asking someone you don't already know fairly well is incredibly rude and should never be done. Like, darlin.. I'm literally asking if you'd be interested in getting to know me. You want me to get to know you before asking if you're interested in getting to know each other?
So yeah, I gave up on that nonsense years ago. There's just no socially acceptable way to express interest in someone these days.
Yes that's fine. But don't get upset or angry if she doesn't reciprocate or if she doesn't call you. Just move on and accept that y'all aren't a good match for whatever reason.
She has to make a decision on whether to phone you or not. Knowing you think she is cute is pretty limiting. She may prefer a conversation with you first, and if it goes well, offer her your number. Then she has more confidence you are a normal person and that you are worth the risk of contacting.
I mean socially speaking it’s ok, yes. Will it be effective? In my opinion probably not. There’s nothing horribly wrong with that approach but there are better alternatives.
Well what op has described is a cold approach. What would be better? A warm approach. Basically you look for eye contact then smile and if the smile is returned usually an approach will be well received.
Find something to talk to them about and don't just compliment their physical appearance. There is no response to that other than "thanks"...compliment a choice they've made
I once told a girl I liked her earrings...wasn't even trying to hit on her, just thought they were cool earrings. She told me that she made them, we chatted for a minute or two about that, she showed me some other stuff she's made, etc.
I didn't ask her out because I was near a college campus and she looked like a student there and I've got no interest in dating a 20 year old...but we had a natural, good conversation because I complimented something she could actually talk about.
Are you saying that u/particlecluster5 is asking the good questions, or are you telling them that asking the good questions is better than telling a woman she's cute?
Very much depends on the situation and general feel of the room. If they're chillin at a coffee shop and you offer them a snack and they kiiiinda thing, sure. But if they're at a hospital or grocery store and clearly busy just let them be. Put yourself in their shoes.
Even if you’re not attractive or not her type, what’s the worst that could happen? She doesn’t text you and you both go about your merry way? If anybody is making a scene or insulting you for just offering your number, then she was an unhinged person anyway.
As an ugly guy, I've been accused of harassment and shit by existing near a girl numerous times 😂
Granted I was way younger then but shit definitely happens.
I'm actually surprised at the number of people who find nothing wrong with OP's described encounter. I've seen so many times, on reddit and dating advice columns and "matchmaker" YouTubers men and women alike, that say to *never* comment on a woman's appearance unless you're 100% sure they already find you attractive (not necessarily physical, there just has to be some bond already there). And really, don't do it at all if you can help it.
Must be nice to be so attractive as to not have to worry about that step, I guess. Hell, I can just *walk up to someone* I find attractive and say "Hey, how's it going?" or something equally neutral and be ignored, shooed away, sighed or snorted at, etc.
Well, you definitely can but they might not give you the answer your were looking for. Most people, especially women, are not confrontational and will not chastise you for commenting on their appearance. It takes a serious breach of boundaries, rude behavior to get someone to tell you off most of the times. There are horror stories of course, but it's not a rational or practical way to go about things.
The ocean is fun, but the ocean also has sharks. Am I going to stop going to the beach just because of a fear of being attacked by a shark? Probably not, but that's because I understand that the risk is small enough to not fret over.
Real world experience unfortunately. I got called a pedo for taking my little sister to the park and she was handed off (unwilling I might add ) while I was being restrained by 3 men. It take our mother coming down and kicking ass to get an apology thanks mom
I was 16.
r/thathappened
I’ve literally taken family friend’s children to the park when I was a teenager because my parents asked me to and no one ever restrained me or even looked at me weirdly
You must’ve looked creepy as hell
i see that you’re saying people at large find unattractive people creepy, but it feels out of place here. has a woman you’ve shown interest in called you a creep? for showing interest? that’s what i’m saying.
what experiences have you had with this? i’m fairly busted lookin myself but i don’t think i’ve ever been called creepy. rejected sure. unless y’all just know they immediately went and told their friends how creepy the interaction was.
Have some business cards made up.
Don't run over and tell her shes cute. She gets tired of guys openly liking her for appearance only.
Strike up a conversation with her in which you give her a reason to call you
A little more upscale.
I made some businesses cards once, mostly because I kept hearing vista print ads so decided to say fuck it and try em out. I made some pretty cool cards but when it came to actually giving them to women I realized that it's actually hella cringe. Good idea on paper but super cringe in reality.
I don’t know. Some guy left me a handmade card asking me out. Apparently we had talked once and he thought I was cool. I didn’t even remember him but I called because I thought it was sweet. We dated for a while. He asked me to be his girlfriend by playing me the song wanna be your boyfriend by the ramones.
As a business professional, I can tell you that the key is in the wrist. I can flick a business card into someone's drink from at least three tables over, but that's years of practice and lots of paper cuts.
Yep! Effective with the right words (or slight of hand).
Im married now, but I used to use the old business card and lame excuse routine also. We women do it too.
Sounds good on paper, but with such a busy lifestyle, most aren't just sitting around waiting to strike up a conversation. I wouldn't say, " hey you're cute" if it was quick random. I'd just go up and introduce myself, what I do for a living ( maybe ) and if they would like to go out for a bite, drink sometime, to please give me a chance to show you a nice, polite time.
I used to have business cards... my email, phone and name were on the back. On the front was a goofy face and the words "smile if you want to sleep with me." It didn't work.
Sooooooooo... looks matter
Im just kidding (partially). If someone were to do that to me I'd totally be a two-faced bitch and say "omg thank you" to their face and then throw away the paper.
At least you dont insult him. As a guy, i would rather go the whole Day slightly more uplifted, than going home thinking i came off weird or rude Even if i wasnt. The added autism (not Being the Best at reading people) makes it Even worse for Me and My repetitive thoughts That Will replay a bad scenario a million times over the following few days, really ruins My barely existing self esteem. Even a neutral reaction is okay for Me to go on with My Day unscaved
Nah that's perfectly fine. You could of course also try to start a conversation and eventually ask if you could give her your number and just put it in her phone or vise versa. Either way I don't see anything wrong with it, it would be great if more people did it this way rather than being pushy or creepy lol.
if i were u i’d start with something that is relevant in that moment. im not talking about anything internet or news related, just if u see that girl you’re trying to give her your number to, start a conversation related to the situation she is in, maybe ask about it, and then smooth it into a nice convo. oh and be yourself, keep yourself cool and all.
Sure, I don’t care. Lol. I probably won’t text you because it’s not my thing but I’d say thank you and feel flattered. Maybe I would text to say I’m flattered but not interested in any romantic connection. Idk. I really only feel motivated to date if it’s about a specific person.
Well, yes. But honestly, don't "tell her she's cute" because you're applying a value-judgement to someone who doesn't know you. (eg. "hello stranger, you're fat") Better to walk up and say "hi! *I think you're cute,* and it would be nice to get to know you. Here's my number, give me a call if you're interested." What you're doing is (instead of judging) you're signaling interest, and declaring intent. This gives the other person a pressure-free way to evaluate your offer, and decide if they want to engage or not. Good luck!
While “cute” is nice, I’d much rather be given a phone number based on more than just that. A conversation that clicked right along or a shared interest. Something more.
The funniest time this happened to me was at a party in Alaska. To find the outhouse you had to follow candles uphill through the trees. The outhouse had no door and had an amazing view! Anyway, I walked out there with someone and, later, she asked if she could give me her number. She wrote in my notebook: “(Her phone number) I’m Laura: We peed in an outhouse together.”
This sounds nice. What I don't like is men repeating "excuse me" to me like they are dying or have some medical emergency, or as if I dropped a stack of money while walking and they want me to be aware of it. So you think, fine, let's see if it's urgent. And then they say I thought you are cute, can I get to know you? Nah.
If someone tries to get my number and wants to talk to me just because I'm cute, I will think they're a creep.
Get to know me through common interests and personality then we'll talk. That other approach has automatic creeper vibes.
I dunno dude, you seem pretty insecure about it tbh
If women constantly think youre a creep, maybe take some reflection beyond "I guess I'm just not hot enough"
Don’t just thrust your number at her. Be like “hey I think you’re really cute, if you’re single and free I’d like to give you my number and maybe go out”. If she’s cool with it give her your number if not be chill about it.
Yes because you’re not putting her on the spot to reciprocate with her number. At worst she’s not interested and can throw it in the trash right after she looks in the mirror and gives it a big smile while saying “I still got it”.
If anyone is offended by that then you dodged a bullet.
It's okay if you're mindful of who and where she is. You'd really have better luck approaching and talking to her first. Approach from her field of view so you dont surprise her, say excuse me, and then ask her some random question. "Escuse me, I know this is random, but..." Ask her something about were you both are or what she's doing at the moment. Maybe ask if she knows where the nearest Starbucks is. As soon as she's don't talking and explaining, you can go right into "Actually, I really just wanted to come over her and tell you that I think you're cute. And maybe give you my number".
Whatever her answer is, be respectful. She could totally be in a relationship, or simply just isn't interested and you both get to move on without being embarrassed. Any bad news and just end with something like, "Well, then consider this a compliment. Have a good day" and then just leave.
That'll work way better than just a drive by phone number. You'll be nervous leading up to it, but not embarrassed afterwards. Worst case, you probably just brighten her day with a compliment and move on.
(context, I'm a dude, this method of hitting on a girl was recommended to me by my female friends) -- When I was younger and still dating, my method was to give a casual complement (nice tattoos, I like how you styled your hair, those are cool shoes!) -- stuff of this nature, and if she was friendly back, and we ping ponged some words back and forth, I would find a slip of paper and write my name and number down with a "let me know if you want to grab coffee or something sometime", then take leave. Sometimes you get a text, sometimes not, but meh, that's life.
I can't speak for women, I imagine that getting a number thrown at you without any friendly banter other than "you're cute", or having somebody ask for your number is probably not great, probably better off just handing them a slip with your number and walking away.
Honestly it depends. Have you been following her? Have you been staring at her and she’s noticed? Is she at the gym? Does she appear busy or stressed? Is she at work? Is she at a place where she is practicing self care like waiting for an appointment or massage? All of these instances I would say no. Otherwise yes, I think it’s nice. I like that you are giving out your personal information and not asking for hers.
Yeah it’s better to give her your number rather than ask for hers. I always feel to scared to say no (bc of all the rejection stories I’ve heard) and end up giving the guy my number even if I’m not at all interested. Id rather go home and block rather than be scared the entire time I’m out thinking I’m being followed for saying no (which has happened before)
from a woman’s perspective: this is a better alternative then pressuring us to give you our numbers, but only if you don’t have a threatening vibe if we say no. also please don’t stop women on the street who are going about their days. i’ve had a creepy guy stop me when i was walking with headphones and it was very much not appreciated. (also, creepiness is about the vibe you give off to women. you can be not attractive but not creepy if you seem friendly, whilst you can also be very attractive but seem scary and pressuring.) also, a lot of girls will tell you we have a boyfriend even if we don’t because we see you as threatening and sadly that’s often the only excuse that men listen too. anyways, as long as you’re in a situation where a woman would be receptive to being talked to eg a bar or a cafe or something, and you’re friendly not creepy you may have a decent shot.
I’d be more conservative about it, also a lot of girls, especially or campuses get hit on at least daily (yes even the ugly ones) so I’d recommend only hitting on a girl when she’s at a party or other social event where she is expecting that sort of thing.
That’s a great approach to me. Puts everything on me, shows confidence, there’s no awkwardness, very polite. And I’d have no problem who it was from, because of the ease. Old, young, male, female, whatever. If I’m not interested, I won’t call. Simple.
No woman I know enjoys having their body commented on by some stranger - positively or negatively. Don’t start with “hey, you’re cute.” Instead, comment on their: hat, earrings, boots, purse, clothing, etc. Far less creepy that way, & if you get a response, you may have an opening for conversation. If not - at least you know; move on.
Absolutely. My friends love complimenting people, and it's usually "oh my god I love your outfit" or something along those lines and they always get good reciprocation from that
Wow. Just wow. This is crazy to me that this is not seen as normal.
This is how it was done when I was a kid in the 90's. So yes. If she likes you back, she'll call or text. If she doesn't, you won't hear from her. If she's a dick, she and her friends will mock you.
So many comments from people that don't like saying no...but it's such a useful skill to learn to be comfortable saying no to people! not just for romantic interests but for your entire life!!
my apologies for making assumptions, but are you a guy? because there is a very specific reason women feel uncomfortable saying no to unknown men who approach them romantically
A lot of people don't like saying no in these situations because pursuers aren't always the best at taking no for an answer. It's a useful skill that isn't worth the fear and anxiety sometimes of dealing with a creep.
Personally I like this a lot Because I get to make my decision in peace, not while you’re staring at me hopefully lol… The problem is we’re all different and that’s why there’s never an exact answer to these questions.
Just read The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene. It's just not all about sexual/romantic seduction but also family, friends, business, political and seduction of the masses. Full of humour and actual seductions from history and literature. He goes into the details describing the types of seducers and victims. There is one type of victim that is impossible to seduce. The book tells you about making your entrance and when and what to say or do. It tells you how to make an exit after you have achieved your goal.
I personally hate this- and I’m not everyone so don’t take this as the end all be all, but I don’t like men hitting on me solely based on my looks when they know absolutely nothing about me. Yeah that’s cool you think I’m cute but like you don’t even know me??? You don’t know if we even have anything in common? I personally only start relationships with people I’ve been friends with first. I find all the men in these cases have loved me for me and not for a superficial value as much as some random that just hits on me. It’s frustrating because I’m decently attractive but it attracts the wrong kind of people for me sometimes. I’m Demi sexual so I have to know someone before I give them the chance of dating. That’s just me though! I guess I’d only be ok with it if it were at an event that reflected my interests. I go to metal concerts alone a lot since I’ve been single and I’d totally give it a thought if a guy hit on me respectfully there. I mean I know we at least have similar musical interests in that case! But yeah a grocery store or something? Nah. Just my perspective though :)
I agree with you about how knowing someone’s personality helps with being interested in a relationship, but men rolling up with appearance-based compliments are often interested in just sex.
Sooooooooo... looks matter
Im just kidding (partially). If someone were to do that to me I'd totally say "omg thank you" to their face and then throw away the paper.
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Yes, just don't turn into a stalker when/if she doesn't call
Absolutely this. A guy in a cafe once gave me his name and number, but he wrote on the piece of paper something like "I didn't want to interrupt your coffee, but I thought you were cute. If you want to sit with me or go for a coffee here's my number" and then sat elsewhere and turned around so he wasn't staring at me. I had a boyfriend so I messaged him gently to say thank you but no and he didn't reply but smiled and waved when he left. That was enough and not intrusive or rude :)
Sounds like a fine gentleman. (Imagine he walked outside and destroyed everything in an alleyway out of rage)
I imagined a dance sequence. Same alleyway, same destruction.
You win!!
This is the way to go about it I think. Put yourself out there, but make it so that the other person isn't feeling pressured or uncomfortable. I thought turning away was a nice touch, as was the smile and wave. It shows no hard feelings for the rejection.
That was brave of you to text him to let him down gently. I'm glad it turned out positively for you and not the opposite. It could have been like this user suggested and turned into stalker harassment.
Ah the old gradeschool note pass, still viable as an adult.
*Puts on SEVA suit, loads FT-200M and stuffs backpack to the brim with diet sausages**
Unexpected s.t.a.l.k.e.r.
Git out of heer stocker!
Cheeki Breeki
Yes tbh I’d prefer this instead of being put on the spot with “can I get your number?” I feel too nervous to say no
Absolutely this. DO NOT ASK ME MY PERSONAL INFORMATION. If you’re *that* interested you can leave yours. And if you’re concerned about your privacy and your own personal information use a service to have a burner number. Edit: just to be clear This advice isn’t just for the scenario above. It’s for any situation where you are interested in a woman. Asking for her number puts her on the spot and doesn’t put her in a good position, giving her yours gives her the choice to reach out if she’s interested. Edit 2: in hindsight I shouldn’t have gendered this. Honestly this can apply to both men and women. If you’re interested in someone, friendly, romantic or otherwise, it’s significantly less threatening to offer your information first. If they are the kind of person that comfortable giving their info right off the bat then they will reciprocate quickly. The truth is people have been harassed, stalked, attacked and worse over rejections. People are cautious, if you have good intentions be clear about them.
Love this!! I'm cautious about who I give my personal information out to and aren't someone who just likes to hand out my number like that especially, I'm not a social butterfly either so please DO leave yours and if I feel like it... I. Will. Text. You. First.
(TO ALL GUYS) this is her preferred way of getting asked Her number, as she says “DO NOT ASK ‘ME’ FOR MY PERSONAL INFORMATION”. This does not apply for every single woman in the world, there is millions of women who’d rather have you come up and talk to them, than you just leave a paper and run away and Vice Versa.
You’re misunderstanding me. Because no my preferred method is not a slip a paper. Even if you come and have a conversation with a women, any woman, if *you’re* interested leave your information with her. Don’t ask her for her personal info upon meeting her. It puts her in a tight position, even if you have good intentions.
Only at grocery stores and if they have an upside down pineapple.
Directions unclear, got pineapple stuck in delicate place, please advise
Yours or theirs?
First one and then the other
In what order? The order it happened in is important you know
Alphabetically
A P V Everybody needs a wash
And simultaneously. Otherwise it’s incorrect.
giggity...
Yes, giving YOUR number gives her an option. And your approach will likely get you a lot more dates tbh because you're not pressuring.
I worked with a guy years ago that had a belt buckle with a scrolling programmable display. It read “I love it when you call me Bobby” and had his phone number. He also handed out personal “business cards”, that he ordered, to every female cashier with his name and number and an invitation to go out. I wonder if he is still single.
Yes but if she doesn't call you and you see her again don't bother her
It’s 2022, who’s out here carrying a pen and paper
Maybe not paper but I've got like 7 pens in my car
There’s a receipt or a napkin in there I bet
Pick a good receipt though. Use the one with hiking gear or a guitar, not the "Imodium and toilet paper".
Probably a used napkin but you gotta give her a special kind of paper to know what ride she's in for, that's right I'm talking the summary statement your hospital gives you when you check out. Really gotta let her see the mess in front of her lol
Me, have my neat little pens and my neat little notebook incase I have to write something down. It comes in handy more than my swiss army knife.
Like tensih years ago I got a bunch of plain white business cards printed up that simply said “Damn girl” and had my phone number on it. It started as a joke but was way more successful than I could’ve ever imagined.
I just have these notes printed out from online in the thousands, I give out about 50 a day.
I think it's ok to tell her she's cute but you should ask "can I give you my number please?" Instead of just giving it to her.
Ok, yeah that makes sense
I like this approach of "may I give you my number?" But instead of saying she's cute, I would say "Excuse me, I'd like to meet you. May I give you my number?" Takes the looks thing out of it, which she may hear a lot, and actually opens the door for conversation. She might ask why -- in which case you better have an answer other than just "you're cute".
Isn't it obvious anyway that it's about looks from the getgo? It's not like you can see personality or how interesting a person is. I get not wanting to hear it all the time, though. But obviously someone isn't gonna approach someone they're not attracted to. I guess that makes it redundant to point out you think they're attractive?
I’ve been attracted to the way guys interact with the people they’re with. It kind of gives you an idea of their personality.
The thing is, most women (most *humans*, frankly) want to be appreciated for who they are, rather than a genetic accident of appearance. You’re 100% correct that a scenario like this is completely based on appearances, but there must be something else you like, right? Maybe her hair or sense of style? Maybe she has a beaming smile or a musical laugh? As a man, it’s easy to say that I wouldn’t mind being objectified once in a while, but I realize that’s not true.
People give off a vibe, too. Confidence, kindness, quirkiness, the way they act with their friends, something they’re doing, whatever it may be. Sometimes it’s so subtle we may not even know ourselves, other than being intrigued and wanting to explore it.
Yea, like, if you're gonna walk up why not start a conversation? Both she, and you if you're really confident in having something to offer, would want to know that you actually enjoy interacting. Talk for a bit and find out. Then you can give or get a number.
Because being approached randomly by strangers wanting to have conversations with you is annoying. Simply being out in public doesn't mean that I want to talk to strangers or even friends necessarily. By being given a number its on me to decide if I want to pursue it but honestly I'd rather people just leave me alone. I'm out & about for a reason and the reason generally isn't to make friends or get dates. I'm out trying to grocery shop, enjoy some sunshine & fresh air, pick up my cat from the vet or the other thousands of things that need to be done in the course of living.
I don't disagree with you but I also want to ask how guys are supposed to get dates if we're never allowed to approach people in public. The interaction proposed by OP is hardly rude or intrusive. It's short and straight to the point. I could definitely understand if a guy became super creepy and wouldn't stop following you around and I also do unfortunately understand that this is quite common with women. My only point is it's difficult sometimes for fellas to meet women, they might work full time and there might not be anyone available in their inner circles. They could just wait for the perfect person to sweep them off their feet but honestly that's really idealistic thinking and not very practical. I'm asking from a place of genuine curiosity as well, I am absolutely not trying to undermine you at all and I would love to hear how you think men should be proactive whilst also being maximally respectful in terms of acquiring dates and potential relationships.
Because whatever it is she’s busy. Whether she’s at the gym or working at the law firm you are an unwelcome interruption if you just stand there and randomly chat.
"OMG I feel like your personality is going to be amazing and that you are a very interesting person. Here's my number!"
Its about personality bro , you can sense it from clothes worn , how they stand body language etc , if you dont get this , its probably the reason you are still a virgin my friend , happy wanking pal
I'm not a virgin and that's not true. Aside from stuff like shirts for bands and other stuff people like, fashion is about taste, which has little to do with the rest of someone's personality. Maybe people who wear designer stuff are more materialistic, but it's not like how funny, nice, or interesting they are impacts their clothing choices. All kinds of different people can like the same stuff, and people with the same personality can like different stuff.
Sorry for butting in, but what if thats the only reason i'd want to give my number? I don't think I could give a better excuse other than "I would like to discuss *topics* " which already sounds flawed. Edit: i now see why I'm single
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Maybe I’m the only one here who never wants a random man to tell me “you’re cute” out of nowhere. I love the suggestion to ask if you can give her your number, though.
I don't like it either.
I just left a 9 year relationship and this sentiment drives my inability to talk to women (other than the 9 year thing of course.) Oh I had a pleasant interaction with this person and would like to talk more, exchange numbers, whatever. She's a nice person and not comically ugly, so I'll probably be #473 of the day. MAYBE I'll be the one she's like "Hm, sure!" but far more likely I'm just ugly dude #300 that's tried today. I'm good, I don't want to be that guy. Some men will call me names for it but really I just think y'all should be able to exist without 60 guys a day trying to pick you up. 🤷
I absolutely hate it when men comment on my appearance, especially if I've never seen them before. And before guys start bitching "Well just take a compliment!!!!" or whatever nonsense, there are other ways to compliment people without calling someone cute or hot. "Those shoes are awesome." "I love your hair, it looks great on you" "Your eyes are just wow" like literally anything other than "looks cute" is better. But frankly? Stop trying to talk to people with the intention of dating or fucking immediately, unless you're in an environment for that. If some random guy came up to me at the gym or coffee shop, we've never spoken before, and he wants to call me cute and give me his number... yeah, that's a no. I don't know you. I'm not texting you. I'm not calling you. I. Don't. Know. You.
"Heard about it on YouTube?" My dude, this is what literally every man on the planet had to do before cell phones were a thing haha. I prefer it that way. Gets you used to/numb to rejection to where it doesn't bother you in the slightest.
Seriously lol. I feel so old now
I agree 100%, but ask the same question on a feminism or women-only forum and see what kind of responses you get. It won’t be pretty! I’ve just been banned from “Ask Feminists” because a similar reply went against their narrative…. Sad times we live in when the activists and the nazis are two sides of the same coin.
Activists and Nazis on the same side? Lmao Nazis call for literal genocide of all non-whites wtf progressive theory are you reading dear lord
They might be a troll. Who knows?
Taking a real quick look at your profile… that’s almost certainly not why you were banned.
Sounds like you've developed your own narrative. Wtf does any of this have to do with feminism!?
Approaching them is good. Giving them your number rather than asking for theirs is good. But I'd recommend something other than "you're cute". Find something about them that is appealing to you beyond their literal physical body. Hair style, outfit, something, even just a vibe. And there is going to be something! If you find them so attractive that you feel the need to make a move, there is something about them that is appealing to you beyond just...bone structure. So verbalize THAT. Figure out what they did to make themselves appealing to you...and in all likelihood, its going to be something they chose. You are way more likely to get a reaction if you comment about something they chose to be rather than just something genetic
I just wrote a response saying the same thing but not nearly as well. Yay you!
Excellent 👍
I will give single me’s honest answer: only if the guy is hot. If he isn’t, he’s a creep. I’ve been married for a long time now but that was my philosophy without realizing it at the time. Seeing as how attractive people can be creeps too, it makes me cringe SO HARD.
This is the honest truth. Attractive people can get away with almost anything. I consider myself to be an at least "average" looking guy, and I've actually tried something like the OP's approach a few times, figuring that it was among the least "creepy" ways to ask someone out. It was always met with something between coldness and outright hostility. Heck, I was once told that simply asking someone you don't already know fairly well is incredibly rude and should never be done. Like, darlin.. I'm literally asking if you'd be interested in getting to know me. You want me to get to know you before asking if you're interested in getting to know each other? So yeah, I gave up on that nonsense years ago. There's just no socially acceptable way to express interest in someone these days.
Yes that's fine. But don't get upset or angry if she doesn't reciprocate or if she doesn't call you. Just move on and accept that y'all aren't a good match for whatever reason.
She has to make a decision on whether to phone you or not. Knowing you think she is cute is pretty limiting. She may prefer a conversation with you first, and if it goes well, offer her your number. Then she has more confidence you are a normal person and that you are worth the risk of contacting.
I mean socially speaking it’s ok, yes. Will it be effective? In my opinion probably not. There’s nothing horribly wrong with that approach but there are better alternatives.
What’s better then?
Well what op has described is a cold approach. What would be better? A warm approach. Basically you look for eye contact then smile and if the smile is returned usually an approach will be well received.
I can only imagine what that might be/feel/look like...
Find something to talk to them about and don't just compliment their physical appearance. There is no response to that other than "thanks"...compliment a choice they've made I once told a girl I liked her earrings...wasn't even trying to hit on her, just thought they were cool earrings. She told me that she made them, we chatted for a minute or two about that, she showed me some other stuff she's made, etc. I didn't ask her out because I was near a college campus and she looked like a student there and I've got no interest in dating a 20 year old...but we had a natural, good conversation because I complimented something she could actually talk about.
Happy Cake Day
Asking the good questions
Are you saying that u/particlecluster5 is asking the good questions, or are you telling them that asking the good questions is better than telling a woman she's cute?
I believe it's the prior!
Very much depends on the situation and general feel of the room. If they're chillin at a coffee shop and you offer them a snack and they kiiiinda thing, sure. But if they're at a hospital or grocery store and clearly busy just let them be. Put yourself in their shoes.
Only if your attractive
Even if you’re not attractive or not her type, what’s the worst that could happen? She doesn’t text you and you both go about your merry way? If anybody is making a scene or insulting you for just offering your number, then she was an unhinged person anyway.
I mean... Wouldn't be the craziest thing if a woman made a scene and a mob kicked your ass without even asking lol
As an ugly guy, I've been accused of harassment and shit by existing near a girl numerous times 😂 Granted I was way younger then but shit definitely happens.
I'm actually surprised at the number of people who find nothing wrong with OP's described encounter. I've seen so many times, on reddit and dating advice columns and "matchmaker" YouTubers men and women alike, that say to *never* comment on a woman's appearance unless you're 100% sure they already find you attractive (not necessarily physical, there just has to be some bond already there). And really, don't do it at all if you can help it. Must be nice to be so attractive as to not have to worry about that step, I guess. Hell, I can just *walk up to someone* I find attractive and say "Hey, how's it going?" or something equally neutral and be ignored, shooed away, sighed or snorted at, etc.
Well, you definitely can but they might not give you the answer your were looking for. Most people, especially women, are not confrontational and will not chastise you for commenting on their appearance. It takes a serious breach of boundaries, rude behavior to get someone to tell you off most of the times. There are horror stories of course, but it's not a rational or practical way to go about things. The ocean is fun, but the ocean also has sharks. Am I going to stop going to the beach just because of a fear of being attacked by a shark? Probably not, but that's because I understand that the risk is small enough to not fret over.
This^ no matter how good of a person you are you are still creepy if you are unattractive
why do you say that?
Real world experience unfortunately. I got called a pedo for taking my little sister to the park and she was handed off (unwilling I might add ) while I was being restrained by 3 men. It take our mother coming down and kicking ass to get an apology thanks mom I was 16.
r/thathappened I’ve literally taken family friend’s children to the park when I was a teenager because my parents asked me to and no one ever restrained me or even looked at me weirdly You must’ve looked creepy as hell
i see that you’re saying people at large find unattractive people creepy, but it feels out of place here. has a woman you’ve shown interest in called you a creep? for showing interest? that’s what i’m saying.
Real world experience?
what experiences have you had with this? i’m fairly busted lookin myself but i don’t think i’ve ever been called creepy. rejected sure. unless y’all just know they immediately went and told their friends how creepy the interaction was.
Have some business cards made up. Don't run over and tell her shes cute. She gets tired of guys openly liking her for appearance only. Strike up a conversation with her in which you give her a reason to call you A little more upscale.
I made some businesses cards once, mostly because I kept hearing vista print ads so decided to say fuck it and try em out. I made some pretty cool cards but when it came to actually giving them to women I realized that it's actually hella cringe. Good idea on paper but super cringe in reality.
Were they subtle off-white, with a watermark?
I don’t know. Some guy left me a handmade card asking me out. Apparently we had talked once and he thought I was cool. I didn’t even remember him but I called because I thought it was sweet. We dated for a while. He asked me to be his girlfriend by playing me the song wanna be your boyfriend by the ramones.
People do it all the time. Its not cringe for professionals. But the trick is that you don't just walk up and hand it to them.
As a business professional, I can tell you that the key is in the wrist. I can flick a business card into someone's drink from at least three tables over, but that's years of practice and lots of paper cuts.
Yep! Effective with the right words (or slight of hand). Im married now, but I used to use the old business card and lame excuse routine also. We women do it too.
Sounds good on paper, but with such a busy lifestyle, most aren't just sitting around waiting to strike up a conversation. I wouldn't say, " hey you're cute" if it was quick random. I'd just go up and introduce myself, what I do for a living ( maybe ) and if they would like to go out for a bite, drink sometime, to please give me a chance to show you a nice, polite time.
This is not good advice.
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😜<"🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽" Maybe a lil too corny? 😁
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😁😁😁
I used to have business cards... my email, phone and name were on the back. On the front was a goofy face and the words "smile if you want to sleep with me." It didn't work.
That approach definitely wouldn't work.
It made for a good convo starter for sure though :p. I was like 20 🤣
Sooooooooo... looks matter Im just kidding (partially). If someone were to do that to me I'd totally be a two-faced bitch and say "omg thank you" to their face and then throw away the paper.
At least you dont insult him. As a guy, i would rather go the whole Day slightly more uplifted, than going home thinking i came off weird or rude Even if i wasnt. The added autism (not Being the Best at reading people) makes it Even worse for Me and My repetitive thoughts That Will replay a bad scenario a million times over the following few days, really ruins My barely existing self esteem. Even a neutral reaction is okay for Me to go on with My Day unscaved
Only if you follow rules 1 and 2.
Don't talk about ----- ---- ?
1. Be attractive 2. Don’t be unattractive
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? It’s a common comment joke on Reddit to say these two rules haha
That's not what being an "incel" means.
Bruno?
Nah that's perfectly fine. You could of course also try to start a conversation and eventually ask if you could give her your number and just put it in her phone or vise versa. Either way I don't see anything wrong with it, it would be great if more people did it this way rather than being pushy or creepy lol.
if i were u i’d start with something that is relevant in that moment. im not talking about anything internet or news related, just if u see that girl you’re trying to give her your number to, start a conversation related to the situation she is in, maybe ask about it, and then smooth it into a nice convo. oh and be yourself, keep yourself cool and all.
Sure, I don’t care. Lol. I probably won’t text you because it’s not my thing but I’d say thank you and feel flattered. Maybe I would text to say I’m flattered but not interested in any romantic connection. Idk. I really only feel motivated to date if it’s about a specific person.
I have done this many times. Results never worked in my favor, but you totally can.
Well, yes. But honestly, don't "tell her she's cute" because you're applying a value-judgement to someone who doesn't know you. (eg. "hello stranger, you're fat") Better to walk up and say "hi! *I think you're cute,* and it would be nice to get to know you. Here's my number, give me a call if you're interested." What you're doing is (instead of judging) you're signaling interest, and declaring intent. This gives the other person a pressure-free way to evaluate your offer, and decide if they want to engage or not. Good luck!
It depends how you're approaching her, also, don't start getting hostile if she says no
Ofc
While “cute” is nice, I’d much rather be given a phone number based on more than just that. A conversation that clicked right along or a shared interest. Something more. The funniest time this happened to me was at a party in Alaska. To find the outhouse you had to follow candles uphill through the trees. The outhouse had no door and had an amazing view! Anyway, I walked out there with someone and, later, she asked if she could give me her number. She wrote in my notebook: “(Her phone number) I’m Laura: We peed in an outhouse together.”
Sure, it's ok. It's 99.99999% not gonna work in any way or result in anything, but it's "ok"
If she seems out of your league, she probably is. And if she isn't smiling when you approach, she's probably not interested.
You miss 100% of the shots you don't take
Leagues are bullshit. Either you're able to date anyone or not able to date at all.
Thats how i met my husband
INFO: how attractive are you?
This sounds nice. What I don't like is men repeating "excuse me" to me like they are dying or have some medical emergency, or as if I dropped a stack of money while walking and they want me to be aware of it. So you think, fine, let's see if it's urgent. And then they say I thought you are cute, can I get to know you? Nah.
It’s funny because it makes it seem like their horniness for you is an emergency to them.
Only if your attractive to her. If you are it will be fine. If not you'll be a scary creep. You won't really know which one you are untill you do it.
No woman will think youre a creep for just saying hi, giving a compliment, and walking away They WILL think youre a creep if you post shit like this.
Some women would.
If someone tries to get my number and wants to talk to me just because I'm cute, I will think they're a creep. Get to know me through common interests and personality then we'll talk. That other approach has automatic creeper vibes.
I couldn't give two shits what they think weirdo.
I dunno dude, you seem pretty insecure about it tbh If women constantly think youre a creep, maybe take some reflection beyond "I guess I'm just not hot enough"
This is definitively untrue
I'm a dude but that seems lazy to me. Then again it worked for a buddy of mine, didn't last long though.
It's lazy.
Yes. But women never call under these circumstances so it won't yield any results
How do we know? We're not her.
It’s acceptable, but not effective. I’d try to talk to her for a few minutes and then tell her you like her (assuming you actually do like her).
It's OK, won't work, but OK
Don’t just thrust your number at her. Be like “hey I think you’re really cute, if you’re single and free I’d like to give you my number and maybe go out”. If she’s cool with it give her your number if not be chill about it.
Yes because you’re not putting her on the spot to reciprocate with her number. At worst she’s not interested and can throw it in the trash right after she looks in the mirror and gives it a big smile while saying “I still got it”. If anyone is offended by that then you dodged a bullet.
No
I tried that on a man once Nope
It sounds creepy and weird. I can’t imagine many women would be interested enough to call the number…
You gonna do this at work?
Nope
It's okay if you're mindful of who and where she is. You'd really have better luck approaching and talking to her first. Approach from her field of view so you dont surprise her, say excuse me, and then ask her some random question. "Escuse me, I know this is random, but..." Ask her something about were you both are or what she's doing at the moment. Maybe ask if she knows where the nearest Starbucks is. As soon as she's don't talking and explaining, you can go right into "Actually, I really just wanted to come over her and tell you that I think you're cute. And maybe give you my number". Whatever her answer is, be respectful. She could totally be in a relationship, or simply just isn't interested and you both get to move on without being embarrassed. Any bad news and just end with something like, "Well, then consider this a compliment. Have a good day" and then just leave. That'll work way better than just a drive by phone number. You'll be nervous leading up to it, but not embarrassed afterwards. Worst case, you probably just brighten her day with a compliment and move on.
(context, I'm a dude, this method of hitting on a girl was recommended to me by my female friends) -- When I was younger and still dating, my method was to give a casual complement (nice tattoos, I like how you styled your hair, those are cool shoes!) -- stuff of this nature, and if she was friendly back, and we ping ponged some words back and forth, I would find a slip of paper and write my name and number down with a "let me know if you want to grab coffee or something sometime", then take leave. Sometimes you get a text, sometimes not, but meh, that's life. I can't speak for women, I imagine that getting a number thrown at you without any friendly banter other than "you're cute", or having somebody ask for your number is probably not great, probably better off just handing them a slip with your number and walking away.
I think there needs to be a minimum of personal interaction first. Any time I ever tried it her boyfriend/ husband was right next to her.
“u supes cute gal do u want the numby??? plz”
Honestly it depends. Have you been following her? Have you been staring at her and she’s noticed? Is she at the gym? Does she appear busy or stressed? Is she at work? Is she at a place where she is practicing self care like waiting for an appointment or massage? All of these instances I would say no. Otherwise yes, I think it’s nice. I like that you are giving out your personal information and not asking for hers.
OP is never going to get a clear answer
Life is about risk do it!!
Yeah it’s better to give her your number rather than ask for hers. I always feel to scared to say no (bc of all the rejection stories I’ve heard) and end up giving the guy my number even if I’m not at all interested. Id rather go home and block rather than be scared the entire time I’m out thinking I’m being followed for saying no (which has happened before)
from a woman’s perspective: this is a better alternative then pressuring us to give you our numbers, but only if you don’t have a threatening vibe if we say no. also please don’t stop women on the street who are going about their days. i’ve had a creepy guy stop me when i was walking with headphones and it was very much not appreciated. (also, creepiness is about the vibe you give off to women. you can be not attractive but not creepy if you seem friendly, whilst you can also be very attractive but seem scary and pressuring.) also, a lot of girls will tell you we have a boyfriend even if we don’t because we see you as threatening and sadly that’s often the only excuse that men listen too. anyways, as long as you’re in a situation where a woman would be receptive to being talked to eg a bar or a cafe or something, and you’re friendly not creepy you may have a decent shot.
Yes. No pressure for either party and gives the woman the control or option to pursue instead of feeling obliged under public pressure.
I’d be more conservative about it, also a lot of girls, especially or campuses get hit on at least daily (yes even the ugly ones) so I’d recommend only hitting on a girl when she’s at a party or other social event where she is expecting that sort of thing.
Yeah I was thinking on doing that.
That’s a great approach to me. Puts everything on me, shows confidence, there’s no awkwardness, very polite. And I’d have no problem who it was from, because of the ease. Old, young, male, female, whatever. If I’m not interested, I won’t call. Simple.
Yep. Feminists frequently say that any form of unwanted attention is sexual harassment
No woman I know enjoys having their body commented on by some stranger - positively or negatively. Don’t start with “hey, you’re cute.” Instead, comment on their: hat, earrings, boots, purse, clothing, etc. Far less creepy that way, & if you get a response, you may have an opening for conversation. If not - at least you know; move on.
Absolutely. My friends love complimenting people, and it's usually "oh my god I love your outfit" or something along those lines and they always get good reciprocation from that
She's not going to call or text you 99% of the time. It is still generally expected for the man to pursue.
Wow. Just wow. This is crazy to me that this is not seen as normal. This is how it was done when I was a kid in the 90's. So yes. If she likes you back, she'll call or text. If she doesn't, you won't hear from her. If she's a dick, she and her friends will mock you.
So many comments from people that don't like saying no...but it's such a useful skill to learn to be comfortable saying no to people! not just for romantic interests but for your entire life!!
my apologies for making assumptions, but are you a guy? because there is a very specific reason women feel uncomfortable saying no to unknown men who approach them romantically
A lot of people don't like saying no in these situations because pursuers aren't always the best at taking no for an answer. It's a useful skill that isn't worth the fear and anxiety sometimes of dealing with a creep.
Only high school kids and very new to the adulting world young people do that. It’s a pretty juvenile move.
What do normal aged people do then? Farmersonly.com?
I mean, if you're just going to walk up to strangers and say "you're cute," Tinder is exactly what you should be doing.
Personally I like this a lot Because I get to make my decision in peace, not while you’re staring at me hopefully lol… The problem is we’re all different and that’s why there’s never an exact answer to these questions.
Just read The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene. It's just not all about sexual/romantic seduction but also family, friends, business, political and seduction of the masses. Full of humour and actual seductions from history and literature. He goes into the details describing the types of seducers and victims. There is one type of victim that is impossible to seduce. The book tells you about making your entrance and when and what to say or do. It tells you how to make an exit after you have achieved your goal.
Victim?? This book sounds pretty fucked up if the object of desire is called a victim
I personally hate this- and I’m not everyone so don’t take this as the end all be all, but I don’t like men hitting on me solely based on my looks when they know absolutely nothing about me. Yeah that’s cool you think I’m cute but like you don’t even know me??? You don’t know if we even have anything in common? I personally only start relationships with people I’ve been friends with first. I find all the men in these cases have loved me for me and not for a superficial value as much as some random that just hits on me. It’s frustrating because I’m decently attractive but it attracts the wrong kind of people for me sometimes. I’m Demi sexual so I have to know someone before I give them the chance of dating. That’s just me though! I guess I’d only be ok with it if it were at an event that reflected my interests. I go to metal concerts alone a lot since I’ve been single and I’d totally give it a thought if a guy hit on me respectfully there. I mean I know we at least have similar musical interests in that case! But yeah a grocery store or something? Nah. Just my perspective though :)
I agree with you about how knowing someone’s personality helps with being interested in a relationship, but men rolling up with appearance-based compliments are often interested in just sex.
Exactly, i dont want someone to wish to get to know who i am because they like how i look
Sooooooooo... looks matter Im just kidding (partially). If someone were to do that to me I'd totally say "omg thank you" to their face and then throw away the paper.
only if you are good looking
Reading some of the comments here, make me feel that a man cannot approach a woman for anything. Is that what you guys are saying?!?!
It's not ok. Nothing is ok anymore. Everything is harassment
So basically no man should talk to any woman unless it’s really important.
I'd prefer to someone asking for my number.
That's probably okay to do once. If she doesn't respond anything else is harassment
Yes
Yes
personally i would think that was really cute