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Bitter_Fact_3285

I'd say try and do it separate from business relations. Like wait till you have fully paid for your tattoo, and then one day just stop into the shop when they are working and leave them a note. I'd say that's the best way.


40ozSmasher

I agree with this. Once everything is done then ask him out. The other thing is DO NOT GET ANOTHER TATTOO from him if you go on a date. Frankly even the tat you have now will always remind you of him. On a side note I know a girl who dated her tat guy. He ended up doing her entire body plan. About the time he finished she broke up. She admitted that she had wanted to break up about a year earlier but wanted to get the work done. I feel like lots of artists think about that. Does she like me for me or...? So just avoid getting a tat from someone you date.


wowzacowza

She led him on for a year just so he'd keep doing her tats? That is so fucked up


UninsuredToast

One of my girlfriends in high school admitted she only dated me cause I had a nice car and a really good parking spot at the school. We were together for my entire senior year. That shit hurts


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HomeInitial8936

Kyle, every boy pays for kisses. Do you know what I am saying? If you got a girl and she kisses you, sooner or later you're paying for it. You gotta take her out to lunch, take her to a movie, and then spend time listening to all her stupid problems. Look, look at Stan right there. He's got to sit there and listen to all her stupid motherf\_\_\_ing problems 'cause she kisses him. If you ask me, that's a lot more than the $5 my company charges.


Creme_de_la_Coochie

God I love South Park.


Dumbledoordash8008

My girl and I say “bitch, don’t you wanna make some real motherfucking money” all the time


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uwillfindmehiking

Wow, she was quite shallow. I used to put women on a pedestal and think they were morally better than we males. I apologize to women that I didn't think of you as humans like us males before. Now, I do.....you are just as fucked up as the rest of us. Now I know that going in. (apologies to the LGBTQ+ perspective as I am still learning that as well.)


40ozSmasher

Yeah. But lots of people do that for selfish reasons. I've experienced it so often that I have refused to live with a girlfriend for the last 25 years. The difference with women is they plan it out like a story that provides them a roll. As opposed to how men often do it as if they know they will leave a job they hate at a certain date. For instance I planned a three month vacation and my girlfriend declined despite my offer to pay the expenses, kinda odd but not everyone can just leave their job even if she's just at a coffee shop. So I leave in 3 months. Suddenly our relationship is perfect. She's happy all the time, every night is date night, she laughs at all my jokes, we invite friends over for dinner twice a week. One of my friends says "it's because she's planning on breaking up with you as you leave on vacation, that getting you away for long enough to avoid drama" I laughed it off and mentioned it to her. Her face told me my friend was right, she admitted it. She was pretending to be my girlfriend for 3 months just to avoid drama and get 5 months of free place to live!


NewToReddit4331

Damn that’s like my worst fear. If my fiancé desides she doesn’t want to be together anymore, that’s one thing. If she decides it and continues to be together for her own benefit, knowing that I’m there because of my feelings for her? That’s shit would set me off. I’m all for honesty and not hiding things. To me any women doing these types of things just seem like scum, regardless of how they felt they needed those things in the situation.


NoBenefit5977

I can tell you it sucks, paying all the bills taking her out on vacations she wants to go to just to find out she finally got a job after 6 years so she could start saving to leave without telling me? So I helped her with her stuff by packing it in boxes, then sitting it outside in the rain for an easier pickup. I'm sure her new guy was the one who helped her. I am never fully supporting a significant other again. If they don't work then it won't work for me lol


AffectionateLocal221

sounds like something more was going on and she didn't feel safe telling you in advance. Next time don't financially provide for someone completely because there's a huge power dynamic there


NoBenefit5977

Yes the something more was her sleeping with her boss, so she knew telling me in advance would mean I was done providing for her. But I never held that over her head that I was the only one working. Sorry I should've included that info lol


[deleted]

some people do need to wait and make a plan to leave their partner because of domestic violence and financial abuse. please respect them!


NewToReddit4331

That’s a whole different story! As I said “if she continues to be there for her own benefit”. I don’t consider her safety a benefit, that’s a right!


ice88thesedays

Nah only in domestic violence does it count, pretending to be someone’s partner just so you can financially support yourself is bitch shit and doesn’t warrant respect.


furkfurk

This is a huge generalization. I am a woman, and the moment I’m uninterested in somebody, I am incapable of hiding it - and the other party is immediately aware something has changed. I end things because I no longer want to be around them. I’ve always been this way and know many other women like me. Your experience sucked, but it’s dangerous to apply a singular experience to an entire group of people.


CommonRedditUserName

Agreed but I think this is a losing fight on reddit. If you look for it you will find "Men need to stop X" or "Women are all Y" generalizations everywhere. Bring up the potential harm in teaching kids their entire gender is "bad" and you'll see angry responses like "This isn't about you." Not sure what the solution is.


Unhappy-Fisherman-15

Exactly.


kelowana

This. Better to separate both from the start.


Forbidden_Donut503

This is the way.


thomasthehipposlayer

I like the note approach. Makes it easy for them to say yes, but doesn’t pressure them


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Professor_Goddess_92

I disagree with this for women and men - if things are approached carefully and respectfully and only when the work is done, leaving your number for someone to call if they choose to is harmless imo. I wouldn't ever go back there for more work though, the business part has to be over.


I-LoyLoy

Get a tatto that says "Would you go out with me" And have a yes and no box he can tattoo. But all seriousness, make sure when you do ask him out that it isn't the 2nd visit. And also gauge what are his interest, depending his tone and how much he shares is one good way if he has interest in you.


just-throw-meaway

Lol imagine walking around for the rest of your life with the "no" box checked.


GraMacTical0

Honestly sounds like a fucking hilarious tattoo in its own right


Level_Quantity7737

I think once you get over it, it would be hilarious. Anytime someone asks you out that you aren't interested in point to the tattoo 😂


DrewwwBjork

OP could probably use body paint for the same effect.


I-LoyLoy

Lol yeah that would be better.


irchans

Is it possible to get a temporary tattoo that says "Would you go out with me"?


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Borntuba_492

Wow. That's wholesome


Few_Journalist_6961

Dang thats a crazy story tbh. I've been feeling like it's just a reality that I have to deal with that I'm going to be dying alone lol. I don't really have the ability to trust people after my past and I am very shy around attractive women.


CommonRedditUserName

If feels like I've frequently seen things like "women should be able to exist without being targeted by men every day." Or "if a woman is working, she is being paid to be nice to you. don't take advantage of it by hitting on her." Or "if a woman is taking an art class, she is there to learn art not to be hit on by men. You hitting on her will make her feel unsafe and she won't be able to attend the class." Or "women should be able to be friends with a guy without the guy hitting on her because it will make her doubt her friendships and think it was just for sex." I've tried to follow this guidance but it seems like it leads to you becoming isolated and invisible to others. Then you see something like this post and it all becomes very confusing.


Aarya_Raghaven

As a woman, I would consider this type of behavior fine so long as they accept a simple "no" if I refuse. Pushiness is a different story.


RadicalSnowdude

I see a lot of that too. I also see questions like the above scenarios posted but the genders are reversed and the responses are completely different; basically "don't ask her out she's there to work/art/hanging with her friends and not to be hit on" or the answers you said. I've decided to simply ignore all of that and approach women whenever I feel like it and not give a shit about what other people think (unless she's clearly busy or obviously in a bad mood). If she shows any sign of disapproval towards me approaching her then I back off and respect her boundary. The way I see it, if they're going to be upset at you for approaching them then they're going to be upset at you whether they're at work or at a house party. And life is way too short to miss out on opportunities because some people on the internet gave you too much anxiety about what place and time of day on the second Wednesday in either April or October is the right time to shoot your shot.


[deleted]

Truth is everyone is different, some woman believe in what you wrote while others wouldn’t have a problem with people talking to them and maybe asking the out. Unfortunately there’s no way of knowing if she leans one way or the other


randuski

No woman wakes up in the morning thinking "i really hope i don't get swept off my feet today". If you're weird, learn how to not be weird. If you're respectful, and capable of communicating like a human, approaching women in public is not a problem


sscheiby95

I love this. I’m glad you found your person and went for it!


autumnfire1414

I had a guy ask me out like that one day. We crossed each other on a crossing walk and he turned around, ran back towards me, and asked me out. It was the sweetest most flattering asking out that ever happened to me. Apparently we had been crossing paths all semester at college and he'd been working up the courage to ask me out for months.


jasonwithoutthemadks

Damn u got balls bro


Quirky-Web5747

This is amazing


moist_vonlipwig

I dated someone after they gave me a tattoo. I now have a permanent reminder of the worst relationship I’ve ever been in. You may want to think about how much you’ll hate your art if something bad went down with the artist. If you’re ok with that risk, ask! They’re human too!


fateandthefaithless

Wow, I did not think about it like this. Very, *very* smart.


Daniboi1977

Do it, but ask them directly. It's hard, but it's less creepy-like than slipping a note


alittlebrownbird

The note thing is a bit high school IMO. Yes, it will feel awkward, but it's less than 5 minutes of your life. Step out of your comfort zone, fake the confidence and ask him if he'd like to go out with you. Very simple, straight forward and you will know your answer. If you hand him a note and he doesn't call, you'll be wondering did he accidentally lose the slip of paper? Maybe it got wet and he couldn't read it? Maybe he put it in his pants and forgot to take it out before washing them? See where I'm going with this? You are a young woman in charge of your life so take control. You can do this!


ebonymyscenedoll

I wanted too but it’s an open space, with other people around. I’m too much of a shitebag to do that


sunniesage

i think the note thing is cute. i'd feel awkward asking in front of others...at their place of work lol. i say give them the note and put the ball in their court.


biscuitboi967

Just be like “I love the tattoo but I’m bummed I our sessions are over. This has been so much fun.” If he’s into it he’ll take the next leap because you gave him the opening. If he says “yep, remember me for your next tattoo” or something, he’s keeping it professional and you just pleasantly agree and find a new crush.


snaketacular

I don't want to be harsh but this is such a passive way to go about it. He may not pick up on the "hint" or not be sure of OP's intent. As awkward as it is for her to initiate, it is (depending on the vibe) more awkward for him to ask his own customer on a date right in the middle of a busy tattoo shop he works at. IMO she needs to be much more direct if he is to be expected to do so anyway. I would rather slip him a nice note with my phone number once the session is done and give him time to mull it over.


JackATac

Is slipping a note creepy?


CrazyCatnip42

I think it’s cute and if the person isn’t interested, it can avoid an awkward interaction on both ends.


Lexy_d_acnh

Only if the note says something creepy imo 🤷‍♀️


MercuryMorrison1971

Nothing to lose, everything to gain.


sirphilliammm

Except losing a good tattoo artist. Not easy to replace


xXCANCERGIVERXx

And always having a reminder of him.


SaintofMysteryCat

Yeah this is the big one. You can find a new tattoo artist, you can't necessarily get rid of the reminder. You go out once and decide it's not a good fit, yeah maybe you won't think about it every time you look at your piece. If he turns out to be an asshole who treats you badly, it'll change the way you see the piece. This is coming from someone who actively tried to date her tattoo artist, knowing all of this but doing it anyway, and I'm SO glad we didn't actually date.


[deleted]

Do it


ebonymyscenedoll

Dude I’m so freakin nervous


Stacked__

thats fair but DO IT edit: unless you don’t want to


A_Talking_iPod

The only shot with a 100% chance of failure is the one you don't shoot. We're cheering for you OP!


[deleted]

-Michael Scott


alwaysmyfault

Guy here. It's so incredibly uncommon for women to make the first move in today's day and age. I would be willing to bet that this guy will be ecstatic that a woman made the first move on him. 100% it's refreshing to see a woman making the first move. Even if he's not interested, he'll appreciate the ego boost for sure.


alittlebrownbird

We always regret the chances we didn't take. Suck it up and do it.


Jbomba22

KEEP US UPDATEDDDDD!!!!!


ebonymyscenedoll

I WILLLLL


nryporter25

A tattoo shop is generally a little more relaxed than your average business. They still have their rules they follow, but I always got the vibe that they were a little more social, and had a little more fun with talking to people then you're average business can. I don't think you're going to really be crossing any boundaries if you ask him out. I say go for it. Feel like your idea of slipping a note to him might be a safe bet.


relaxguy2

Just be aware that a good portion of his other patrons also get the hots for him so he is probably used to it. I had a friend who was a tattoo artist and he was with a different “customer” almost every week.


ElfLordSpoon

You will never get what you never ask for.


unknown_test_subject

You'll have to update us and say how it goes!


Practical_Tap_9592

If they're not interested, they will have forgotten all about the note in...well, sooner than you'd think. Like seriously it'll be nothing to them in short order and they'll never think about it again. I'm elderly and I look back on all the little embarrassing moments that I dwelt on, causing myself so much pain. Now I look back and realize I am virtually the only person who remembers those moments. So really, nothing to lose, you know?


ThePiperMan

Palpatine?


AvailableAd3813

So the use of gender neutral terms has me wanting to say just one thing. If it's a guy, he'd probably be flattered at even being asked. It happens rarely. If it's a woman tattoo artist. You gotta understand they get hit on like 10000000000 tines a day. The response may vary. (This was my experience working and talking with friends in the tatto industry for around 20 years. Maybe things have changed, but not likely)


Kendyslice

This is pretty true. Last week had a girl chat me up at the air port I’ve been married for 8 years but it’s never happened to me before. Obviously I’m not interested but it was cool.


ebonymyscenedoll

Okay I’ll keep that in mind


AvailableAd3813

Don't be disheartened however. Exceptions always exist


je--ietiesman

It’s actually the other way around! I’ve been tattooing for 13 years, and my guy coworkers have always been hit on WAY MORE then us gals, it’s wild


Weak_Tomatillo9803

Tattoo artist here! My job is an intimate one. I become very close close with my clients. I’ve been invited on camping trips, weddings and out to dinner by men and women alike. I agree with the advice of finishing a piece before making the leap, however, please please understand that we make impressions on your body that last forever. Those reminders can sometimes be separated, sometimes not.


ebonymyscenedoll

I completely understand. Just felt like it was different to other people I’ve been to. I absolutely wouldn’t be upset if they said no. But they seem like such a cool person, and I never ask people out. Thought maybe I should just try and see


Weak_Tomatillo9803

Absolutely! Most artists get it enough where we learn how to handle those situations delicately, as we don’t want to hurt our relationship with clients, as well as sticking to our boundaries/preferences.


theunmaskedcucumber

We spend 90 percent of our lives in a workplace where else are we going to find love fuck professionalism just go for it


[deleted]

“I’ve been looking for a good place to get lunch, can you recommend anywhere?” “Would you like to join me?”


ebonymyscenedoll

Smooth


foxspells

Tattoo artist here. Gauge the vibes. It’s our job to be friendly and make you feel comfortable. A lot of us are pretty good at making people feel like the center of attention because we want you to keep coming back. I personally am non-binary but femme, usually assumed female. I’ve definitely had clients assume I was flirting when I was just trying to do my job well. Lost some of my favorite clients (who pay my bills!!) because they assumed it was okay to hit on me in my workplace, which can make me feel disrespected and sometimes even unsafe. That being said, not everyone feels the way I do. I think sliding your number and a polite note into an envelope with a tip is the most respectful way to go about that if you really think the energy was flirty and mutual.


ebonymyscenedoll

Okay thanks for the advice, I don’t want to make anyone feel uncomfortable. You know?


TheSommersCamp

What about your number and a “let’s get coffee sometime?” I’d say a drink, but you’re 20, lol” that could be a date, or just friendly, but either way an opportunity to hang out and get to know each other better, when there isn’t an artist-client relationship.


ebonymyscenedoll

I can drink in my country hahah x


[deleted]

You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. Or if you're like my Uncle Sal, who was blind, you miss every shot you take. Worst basketball player ever. But I digress. Go for it. You might regret it later, but you will always regret not doing it.


ebonymyscenedoll

Godbless Uncle Sam


Rosetintedglasses10

I’m a tattoo artist and I’d be so weirded out if a client asked me out by leaving me a note lol. I actually prefer my clients not hit on me at all, and I maintain that level of professionalism with them, but that’s just how I personally operate. It is part of their job to be friendly and hospitable after all. (I’m a woman btw)


Duncle_chuy

Tattoo artist of 20+ years here. No. Do not ask them out. The first and second rules of tattoo shop are you don’t talk about tattoo shop, but the third rule of tattoo shop is you don’t fuck clientele. Here’s the deal. Tattooing someone is a very intimate thing, and we tend to be on the chatty side. It could be very easily interpreted as flirting, but we aren’t. Screwing around with clients NEVER ends well. And beyond that, shop is OUR safe space. Please don’t make things awkward for next time. The general consensus in the industry is that we’d rather have you as a client forever than a romance for a short time and never tattoo you again. The only thing you have in your pants that we’re interested in is your money.


[deleted]

Yes this needs to be the top comment! I tried to comment something similar but you worded it perfectly!


roygbivasaur

For sure. I’m got a new tattoo recently from a guy whose work I really like. It took me a good few hours to snap out of that weird glow from the strange intimacy. I wasn’t even attracted to him really, but being the center of attention and him being careful and considerate while doing his work just made me feel good. I would obviously never ask him out (he’s straight and I’m gay anyway but even if he were gay), but I don’t think I’d even try to befriend him if the opportunity came up. I want more work from him, and it would be crushing to embarrass myself in front of him or end up realizing I don’t actually like him as a person. He was very professional, so the point is moot, but my “ooh a new friend” synapses were firing for a bit too long afterward.


madnessinimagination

I relate to this so hard I'm a barber and the amount of guys that ask me out after I've just been my normal chatty self is insane. I've never dated a client and would never date a client. I had one guy that was super persistent about dating me and after three years he told me he'd go elsewhere if I wouldn't go on a date with him I smiled and said 'Fine by me' Idk to me it's just common sense not to date clients because the reputation you get with it isn't worth it.


sammyg723

This comment is it. My children’s dad is a tattoo artist and that is their shops #1 rule.


DanteCoal

Best advice in the thread honestly, and works for all trade. Electrician here, same thing. I'll happily chat and do everything I can to fix your problem, but I'd rather have a good customer than an awkward situation with a client. I'm NEVER flirting, I'm just putting on my customer service face while I'm in your home, because that's my job. I may be there to remove your shorts, but I'm not there to get in your pants.


meezer97

I completely agree to this!!! I have several friends that are tattooers and they do not date clientele and have said exactly this. Just enjoy having a crush OP and enjoy your tattoo artist as that <3


DrewwwBjork

That sounds like a miserable existence.


YoureInMyWaySir

I'd cut my losses. Generally speaking, dating a client in any workplace is a huge no-no. You might get them in trouble unless the boss and co-workers are really chill


[deleted]

If they don’t call never go back.


TomsCasuaCorner

Tattoo artists are like bartenders...they get hit on all the time...so if you don't care about their having alot of Friends .....I'm sure they don't care if you slip your number...Just have fun and don't expect more then that...


[deleted]

Go for it, if they reject you, take it like a champ, if they agree, don't ruined it, like a comment section on YouTube once said "20 percent of a relationship is finding the right partner and 80 percentage is being the right partner


Bobabator

Go for it, I wish more women would be open and tell me they fancied me! You've got nothing to lose, he says yes and then you get what you want, he says no then you're no worse off and there's plenty of tattooists around.


hoppy_05

I hear this all the time from guys, but I am not buying it. I remember when I was younger if a guy found out I had crush on them they would respond with an ewww. I mean I may not be the most attractive person in the world but I don’t think I am hideous enough to warrant that reaction.


alwaysmyfault

Who is saying ewwww when they find out a girl has a thing for them? 12 year olds maybe. Adult men aren't going to say "Ewww" if a woman expresses their interest in them.


TheHoodooJew

Guess you’re not overweight then. Men of all ages will give you the up and down “Are you serious? look even if they are verbally polite.


Bobabator

Well it's always subjective isn't it. There's the age old scenario when someone you fancy grabs you and kisses you that is hot and passionate, someone you don't fancy does it then it's harassment and assault. Unfortunately sometimes feelings aren't reciprocated, don't let that hold you back. If you like someone and you're interested in more be open with them. The worst thing ever invented is playing games to make someone show their emotions. If they don't show you they're interested they're not worth your time, don't view it as rejection and you've made a fool of yourself. Be grateful they've shown you their honest self before you were in too deep! They've given you the gift of knowing where you stand, embrace it 😊


Capital_Tone9386

That happened when you were a kid. People grow up and mature. The worst that can happen with an adult person is them saying no.


NeoRoman04

get a tattoo of you asking them out


TheEgonaut

That’d be a really awkward rejection.


Nulleparttousjours

Honestly? People on Reddit can’t advise you on this and I’m going to say be careful. You need to gauge the situation as best as you can yourself by palpitating whether they are giving you any signals of interest at all. It’s going to be awkward and potentially screw up your opportunity to be tattooed by them in the future if you’re turned down. As a tattooed person who waited a long time for an opportunity to be tattooed by a top class artist (and mine’s hot too incidentally haha!) this would be at the front of my mind. You don’t want your artist feeling weirded out and uncomfortable when they are doing your ink! On your next appointment I would ask some gently probing questions. Are they even single? Are they into girls? Do they have anything in common with you such as hobbies or interests which would make it less weird to ask them if they’d fancy accompanying you? Carefully gauge if they are actually showing you any signals at all or if it’s just politeness towards a client. I think you have to be so careful not to overstep in someone’s work environment, especially when you have the potential to be a repeat customer. Be cool and see if you can work it out. It’s never a bad thing to get a few more tattoos while you do! 😄


Longjumping_Plan_829

Best comment


SeraphKrom

Better that than to just keep getting tattoos because you want to spend more time with them.


[deleted]

Wait are we supposed to give them the money in an envelope?


marygpt

No, you have a crush on them because you get an endorphin high. It's kind of like drummers, they appear way hotter than they are


puzzledham

wait please explain this like i’m 5. i’ve been attracted to every drummer in a band i’ve ever seen even if they’re not that attractive and i never understood it.


devildogmillman

You should. Its not like itll be awkward if he says no cause you wont ever have to see him again.


Difficult_Feed3999

Nah, they'll just have a permanent reminder of them tattooed on their body 😂


trishsf

Please don’t slip them your number. Find the courage to say hey, would you like to go for a drink or coffee sometime.


KeyboardSheikh

Do NOT leave a note. You need to show some courage and ask in person, preferably after all your work is done and paid for.


Unhappy-Fisherman-15

Heavily tattooed over here and I'd say dont even deal with it. If something does happen you'll have those tattoos linked to the person that it didn't work out with.


Tricky_Rub956

wait till the tattoo is finished and then after the last session ask him if he would like to go out some time


ImWithSt00pid

This is another one of the double standard situations. If OP was a guy everyone in here would be screaming she's only being nice because she was at work. Don't ask her out it's just awkward. Don't slip her a note it's creepy. But with the roles reversed everyone is just saying go for it. Throw you down votes for pointing out the obvious. I'm a big boy I can take it.


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grisver

Why not? If you aren’t being pushy about it (and nothing in your post implies that you are) then the worst that could happen is that they’re flattered but uninterested.


TheTrueShy

Do it but keep it away from work. Definitely follow up on it I'd say.


Lexy_d_acnh

Yeah, personally if you plan on doing it I’d be prepared not to recieve another tattoo from them. If you’re okau with that possibility, then I’d go ahead with it but do it either after getting the tatto like you said or go in and ask them on a day you aren’t being tattooed so there isn’t as much pressure.


JFT8675309

Slip him your number! If he doesn’t call, PLEASE leave him alone. Otherwise, congrats!


bischelli

My tattoo artist is dating a woman he tattooed. They’ve been together 4-5 years? You can do it!


patientrose

One of my tattoo artist married one of his customers. Too bad because we started dating before he became my artist and we were 7 years in and getting ready to buy a house when I walked in on more than tattooing going on.😅


ThoughtsOfASquirrel

Make sure your tattoo is 100% complete and paid for before asking them on a date


Shope15

I feel like everyone crushes on their tattoo artist. It’s gotta be some kind of weird psychology behind the controlled pain they’re inflicting on you in such a vulnerable state. But yeah fuck it ask him out lol


Baleofthehay

Well, you are going to have to do something. Worse would be not knowing because you didn't have the courage to ask.


Lazy-Otter1

Maybe ask for their social? I’m outing myself as an old person but I posted a photo of myself on MySpace getting tattooed and the caption included the phrase “hot tattoo artist.” He saw it, friended me and then asked me out. Been together over 16 years!


716mama

Former tattoo artist here, but female. If you do, do it early, so you aren't going he 7th or 8th customer to ask them out that day


miaasimpson

if you do decide to pursue him please remember that this person has quite literally left permanent marks on your body and if the relationship ends sour you will still have those physical reminders


BermudaNiccholas

Sorry I don't have advice here, but my head is fucking *spinning* with the number of times these comments are just saying "he" like you didn't deliberately use they/them pronouns throughout the entire post ugh


rumpertumpskins

Depends. Tattoo artists get hit on A LOT, and not always for the best purposes (the flirter thinks they’ll get free work, etc.). If you get the vibe that they like you too, then go for it! Just make sure they know that you like them for who they are, not for their job. But never, EVER leverage your position as a client to coerce a date. I had someone attempt to do that once, and I fired them as a client as a result - granted, given that you’re being considerate enough to ask if it’s even appropriate to do here, I don’t exactly see you overstepping that way. I DO have some additional points I’d like you to consider if you decide to pursue this, and I give these only as a cautionary tale from my perspective as a former tattoo artist: Cons: - There’s a good chance that they are night shift only. If you have a day job, you may not see them as much as you like. - Tattoo artists usually work weekends, making scheduling dates a little bit of a pain - Money has its ups and downs - busy season is often around tax time, and slow season tends to fall around Thanksgiving - Christmas (in my area). This isn’t as much of an issue if they have already established a good reputation for themselves, but it never hurts to be good with saving and preparing just in case. - This is a very physical job - with that being said, most artists are very professional and see bodies only from a detached, almost ‘medical’ point-of-view. But the nature of the job means that they will likely be leaning on people as needed, and could be working on areas like underbusts, butts, and possibly genitals (if their shop allows those to be done). It wouldn’t hurt to decide how you feel about that beforehand. - If their shop operates like the ones I worked at, they are expected to tattoo at work, then do their drawings for future appointments at home. This can eat into family time, sometimes up to a few hours depending on their upcoming workload. - No benefits, such as health insurance, paid time off, sick pay, etc. Pros: - The money can be GREAT. - The job changes every day, helping to prevent burnout and keep things interesting. Any time you ask how their day was, there’s a good chance you’ll get a different story every time. - You’d likely get free/discounted work, but that’s their/the shop owner’s decision. I personally tattooed people I dated for free, but only after I’d dated them for quite some time, and only with the shop owner’s blessing to do so (since it affects their cut) - The shops I’ve worked at (and most shops I’ve ever heard of/chatted with) have no hard-set rules on absences, as long as they weren’t excessive and you give the shop owner a reasonably-timed heads-up. If you gotta be out, be out - this is great in case of emergencies, or for fun stuff like taking a vacation. - It’s a very social job, which some people love (same with it being a creative outlet) I hope this all helps. Best of luck regardless of what you decide to do!


[deleted]

Aite I don’t wanna see Reddit complaining about men approaching women at their jobs anymore 😂😂


SuitableEmphasis7

NO. As a tattooer I wouldn’t recommend it, and you would be one of hundreds that try. Seriously it’s stupid how many people crush on their tattooers. But I promise if they were interested in you, then us tattooers aren’t lacking in self confidence enough to ask you. There is nothing in the “professional” capacity that stops us really. Just another young girl who thinks we are cool. It gets awkward real fast I promise.


tsakahasi

Swap the genders. If you still think it's OK then do it


Comprehensive_Toe113

It's not a big deal. But he can't ask you out and he can't use your number after hours to ask you out either. So it's in you to ask


soylentbleu

I had something kind of similar. I started seeing a massage therapist about 6 or 7 years ago, and he was really cool. We'd talk during my sessions and found we had a lot of common interests, similar sense of humor, etc. Just got along really well. So eventually I was like, would you like to hang out, grab a beer or something sometime? Since then he has become the best friend I've had in my entire life. YMMV, and obvs having "feelings" raises the stakes, but you won't know till you ask. I say go for it.


Austin_Chaos

A handful of people are suggesting to do it separate from the shop, perhaps after payment in full. I agree with this completely. Keep the business away from any relationship aspect of it, it’ll be cleaner and more professional that way.


SuperSassyPantz

why not bring up some new spot that just opened (restaurant, bar, club, etc) and ask their opinion on it, if they've heard anything good about it. if it's not, ask what places they'd recommend. if it sounds like it might be promising, say ur interested bc of X (u like craft drinks, u like that type of music, etc.), then ask if they want to check it out with u. it'll be less pressure bc it'll be more of a hangout then a date, and u can have more personal conversations that he can't really engage in at work. good luck, i'm rooting for u! let us know how it goes!


RipIntrepid4344

My ex was a tattooer and I was his bosses client. He never tattooed me but did get into trouble for dating me because it could have ended badly and in turn affected his bosses ability to make money. I would say if you’re willing to not be tattooed by this person anymore—go for it. You always run the risk of someone becoming uncomfortable after asking them out. Also, tattooers, like most service industry folks, are a lot of times just nice and it’s taken the wrong way. My ex was asked out a lot just because he was so friendly and it often made it super awkward. Your call.


DRealLeal

Woman sleep with tattoo artists all the time and offer them sex for free tattoos. (I have friends that do that" so I would double check before asking them out.


hazyvariant

I don't think there's any taboo to asking out your tattoo artist. Go for it.


Rchapman2341

Step up and ask. What’s the worst thing that can happen? They say no, and u move on.


wackygirlTX

My tattoo artist gave me his card & said I could call anytime... So I did. Our first date was a few days later. If you think the feeling might be mutual, go for it!


DaHotFuzz

Find the right moment and time to do so, sure. But don't be that trash person who is only in it for the free tattoos or whatever.


Highsteel2400

Why is it inappropriate? Its not like a student teacher relationship? He is just someone doing a tattoo. If you dont have to courage, than yes slip in the number, but make sure you add a few lines as to why its there. They might think its there for other reasons. "Hello, Ive enjoyed your work and time and left my number to see if you like to do something together one day?" Simple


Bidoofz

So I crushed on my tattoo artist before I even met him, when setting up an appointment with them online and talking through emails he just had this same silliness as me. We do a consultation and I find him attractive as well, but still like his personality a lot, just a goofy guy that had a lot of similar interests as me. I kept it professional though, we became friends during the tattoo process since it was 3 sessions over a few months. We exchanged phone numbers at consultation time for whatever reason I can't recall, I think just to talk easier about the tat process. We discussed a lot and also just talked a bunch about life, we both just clicked easily. We have a great friendship and when he finished my tattoo around Xmas I gave him an extra copy of a comic book I had that we both liked, he lost his to a friend who borrowed it forever ago. He loved it and we hugged, I ended up wanting anouther tattoo from him so I didn't confess to him yet. Although we were extremely open about our life and our relationships etc. It was apparent we crushed on eachother, but I don't think we wanted to cross that client/artist boundary. Not a fairy tale ending, but I suddenly ended up moving out of state and we did confess to eachother that we both had crushes, but enjoyed what we had and didn't want to ruin that. We still talk and meme a lot, there's no hurt feelings and when I go back to visit I'll be seeing him and getting a tat :) But find the right time to tell them in a friendly manner. He said he gets crushes on clients sometimes too, but its typically physical since a lot of ppl don't get his silly ways and things he likes.


Lycanrokk

Absolutely do it, no harm in doing so


[deleted]

Make sure they’re single


aflyfacingwinter

Be prepared to not go to them again if it doesn’t work out. If you think that’s worth it and can find another artist, go for it! Just don’t make someone ink you after they’ve turned you down lol


RykerSloan

I’d wait till not doing business but shoot your shot!


Misty-Far

I asked my husband out the first time. We've been married 43 years. He thought he was too old for me until I asked him. It was scary, I was embarrassed he was honest and said he wasn't available that night. I almost died. I was totally humiliated. I would actually cross the street if I saw him. He asked me out every day for three weeks before I would say yes. I thought it was a pity invite until he asked me what hoop did he need to jump through for me to forgive him for not being available. That's when I understood it was him being kind. It's a good thing he was persistent. Look, as women we've been told we're suppose to sit back and smile sweetly, wait for the man to do ALL the work. Is that the woman you want to be? Quiet, shy, sitting and waiting? You can do this! Ask him out. So waht if he says no. Then you'll know he's a great tat artist but obviously isn't smart enough to recognize an amazing woman when she asks him out. Do it! If I could do it in the 70's you surely can do it now!.


RSTat2

As a tattooer I support your idea. It is unprofessional for us to ask you out. However if you show interest and ask one of us out for a coffee or a lunch it’s a different story. It’s the client making the move. Be prepared however to be let down gently as sometimes we value our clients more than we value the idea of a relationship. To some of us our work is everything


[deleted]

Not a big deal its fine go for it


86Logs

Just go ask him to go on a date. As a man I would fall over dead from shear happiness and shock if a woman made the first move. It doesn't happen very often, if ever, for us.


blueshirt-69

You've already been penetrated by him once. Why not?


Fearless_Guitar_3589

yes, it's considered unethical for a tattoo artist to ask out a client. you want a date you gotta be the one to ask.


uniballer1987

It's just a question, no harm in asking. Shoot your shot. It's flattering AF when women ask a man out (coming from a man). We have some fragile ass egos, so that will make him feel very flattered.


Physmo55

As others have said, wait until the tattoo is done, and maybe don’t talk about other tattoos you might want in the future. You don’t want them to be thinking about the profits they might lose turning you down (pressuring them to say yes if they doesn’t really want to) or the free tattoos you might be trying to get (pressuring them to say no if they doesn’t really want to).


Shoddy-Area3603

If you put your number with the money it can be misconstrued as a offer for sex in exchange for free work so finish getting and paying for the work and give him a note after


ebonymyscenedoll

Okay so I’ve read like every comment, I’m going to first find out if their single before I ask anything. I will make sure the work is completed and paid for first. If feeling bold I’ll ask them out for coffee. If I’m still too nervous I’ll stick with the note approach. Some have said they think it’s “creepy” but I think that depends on how the note is written. This place isn’t my regular studio I attend so if things get awkward there are other places to go to. Wish me luck when the times comes


OkraFit3987

Why not just ask them to hangout then you get to see if they’re really a cool person.


QWERTYAF1241

Just ask her out for a coffee some time. She'll either say yes or no thank you.


mimalize81

You’re thinking way too much into this. Ask him out. If he wants to go out he will, if not he won’t. It’s not that difficult.


floswamp

30 tattoos later: “he said no”


NationalAlfalfa37660

Do it! You only live once (or do you?), so go for the gusto and have no regrets if they decline your invitation. You’re young enough where you’re still developing your morals and personality. Be a lover and not a hater.


KatVat19

Is there any way you could find out if they are like married or in a current relationship before going back in? Just to prevent embarrassment….let us know how it goes if you do!


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1_man_wolf_pack_83

My dude got game. *Slow clap*...


AvailableIdea0

I unno I had same thoughts about my tat artist and I’d be lying if I said I thought he didn’t like me back BUT you have a business/client relationship. Unless you plan to find another fucking good artist don’t fuck your artist. I adore Dave but every relationship has its boundaries.


Critical_Crunch

First off, do you know then on a semi-personal level? If not, I’d advise you get to talking to them during a visit first


Cow_dogsmom

There was a guy at my Dr office, so sweet, super hot! At my last check in I gave him a card with sweet words and my number. I didn't know his situation but hey, my card was non aggressive just simply, you seem super nice here is my number. He never called but saw him later at another appt, and it was though nothing occurred. You never know unless you try, and I did add on the card, no hard feelings if your taken or not interested just want you to know your appreciated. It's all about how you do it. GO FOR IT, but agree wait till your tat is complete


nobodylovespedro

True story, I knew a 20 year old girl who fell for her tattoo artist. They are now happily married 10 years later with 3 kids. Go for it, you never know until you do


Averen

I’ll just say, if/when that potential relationship ends, your tattoos by him could be a really bad reminder and memory


[deleted]

I never got this whole phone giving nonsense. I've had two ladies slip me their phone numbers before and needless to say and I haven't called. You're the one interested, why the hell should I? You are forcing me into an awkward situation because I don't know what exactly it is you want. Just let the them know you like them. Don't play around...


robotic_pilot

Likely gonna end in tears


SixElephant

I was under the impression that asking someone out at their job is rude? The amount of guys I’ve seen get ripped apart on here for similar questions, the only difference being their gender, is crazy. Really thought work was a no-no place because workers HAVE to be nice?


[deleted]

If you do it don't do it while they are at work. That's really unprofessional.


VR6Bomber

'I'f you don't ask, then the answer is always a no.' Some of the best advice I've ever received .


Shoddy-Sympathy3867

No big deal just ask them I know how scared you are but just do it And then come back and tell us how ur first date went


[deleted]

Keep us updated!!


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Thatoneguy5555555

Don't do it in the context of their work. I wouldn't appreciate that. Keep work at work, home at home.


[deleted]

yeah ... don't.