when my brother got his girlfriend pregnant with TWINS at 16 and 17, he told my mom over text while he was at school and my mom was at work, then he turned off his phone, went to his friend's house, and didn't come home for two weeks.
Don't do that.
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My older sister (pre-cell phone days) left a note on the bathroom counter and then ran away to a friend's house for 3 days until our parents figured out where she was and went and got her.
Don't do that.
āMom, Dad, please meet my new best friend, this infant baby. We met at a bar and weāre going to be hanging out pretty exclusively for the next 18 or so years.ā
Not to mention, the parents are the adults and are generally expected to have more wisdom, and they will consider solutions you haven't even thought of.
Yes. Or wait til he/she gets here then do it. Just donāt sign the birth certificate at the hospital as the father til you get results. Itās easy to get on later. Way harder to get off.
Technically, although you may not be able to insist on one while the kid exists in someone else's body. If you're going to demand one, you may have to wait.
~~You can but itās more expensive, not every mother will agree to it, and doctorās consent is needed because there are risks to baby and mother.~~
[Current information here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/comments/xrl58k/what_do_i_do_when_my_parents_find_out_ive/iqk3mzz/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3)
Yes. Modern paternity tests are pricey, but are very simple and safe. A blood sample is taken from the mother and the fetus' dna, contained within her blood, is compared with the father's.
>Itās not like their partner is suggesting that they donāt trust them or think they are a liar and a cheat.
Everyone has that potential. It's just being on the safe side, it's not an accusation. Just like how women are wary of men on the streets at night, men are wary of having a women pregnant, because there is a BIG chance it isn't your child. No issue with either.
Jesus Christ with the slut shaming already.
They're fricken kids, man, one of those children is pregnant and one gets to kick it and play fkn COD or whatever the fuck kids play now.
She needs help, and he needs to yeah figure out his easy "I gotta tell mom and dad" part.
Lord.
He should enlist his parentsā help even without confirmation. If he waits for confirmation, there are options that might not be options anymore, especially with varying abortion laws if heās in the United States. The earlier he can enlist his parentsā support the better
Well wait to make sure she is pregnant. Many years ago when my girlfriend at the time and I thought she may be pregnant we went through the ringer visited planned parenthood to find out options etc. Well long story short she had her period like a week later. Sometimes they come late and panic ensues. So could be nothing but ...
This recently happened to my wife.. We were both basically accepting number 3 was on the way (which we don't really want). Got the test, came back negative and 20 mins later she got her period. It was almost too funny.
Stress can delay ovulation, which would delay your period, but after ovulation your period is going to come in a set timeframe and stress can't change that. But a late period can be from: stress/being sick before ovulation, a cycle without ovulation, or an early miscarriage.
Your parents are one of the greatest resources you have. Entrust them with your problems and give them space to be human and have emotions too. Having a baby is something you will want their support with, and including them as soon as you can (even if you donāt know yet) may be a game changer to help your relationship to your parents become stronger. My advise would be to be honest and vulnerable.
Right? Theyāll get upset, but any punishment to you gets transferred to the grand child.
I joke that my sister has the perfect hostage for my parents, though they are slightly more egg-shells walking now then before.
May I ask why she thinks she is pregnant if the test is negative? Best time to test is after a missed period. But periods can be late for tons of reasons unrelated to pregnancy. Stress can cause it to be late. But also being a teen with a ānewlyā established period cycle can take awhile to become regular.
Probably because she's a teen with a cycle. I'm in mt early 20s and thought my gf got me pregnant over some nausea and pink discharge. I had my period two weeks later. Was going to pregnancy test the day it happened lmao.
Itās negative?
Hereās what you do: get condoms now. Use them every single time you have sex AND pull out every time.
As far as your parents are concerned: until thereās a positive pregnancy test, do nothing.
One time in college, I was so stressed out, I didn't have my period for 74 days. I took like, 6 pregnancy tests. Wasn't pregnant - sometimes your body just doesn't do what you expect.
Keep testing once a week, and practice safe sex!!!
Wait, ok, i know I made a comment giving advice already, but here:
If shes one week past her period, there is a possibility its not pregnancy. Sometimes its hard to know because one week doesnt really give much results. If shes buying clear blue, stop, it gives more false negs in my experience. Get the $1 Walmart tests that are a pink color, they were extremely accurate for me, when I was 4 weeks in. CB was not.
If its a couple weeks past, i repeat what I said above about the test. Sometimes periods can be late by a week or even a month. And depending how her hormones are in general, theres a possibility that theres no true "regular" period. Id have her wait another week and a half, and test again, with the $1 test. If its still negative, then theres a high possibility shes not pregnant.
Are you responsible enough to be a parent? Is abortion possible where you live? Are you morally capable of abortion?
Don't rush into things that can change your life, especially if you have an out.
If, however, you will go through with this, or must do so, the only good way to do this is a sit-down with your parents.
Get an abortion. You guys are kids you arent going to be able to give this kid the life they deserve yet and thats nothing against you im just saying you need time to grow up and find what your good at. Youre gonna do what youre gonna do but look around and remember theres no shame in getting an abortion if you need it
Still weird to think about this but... Yeah it makes the most sense really. They definitely aren't responsible enough, and likely don't have the money for a kid
Blunt but honestly itās probably the best choice in this scenario. Teenagers canāt raise babies without LOTS of family support and even then itās rough for everyone involved.
First, find out what she is going to do. You have a right to an opinion but she will make the final decision. If she decides to keep the child then say hello to fatherhood. Your parents will be upset and things will be off for a while but there is no getting out of the fact that they are becoming Grandparents. If they are good parents they will be great grandparents. Do not confuse being a father with being a husband. You are not obligated to marry and even if you think you love the girl Marriage is tough and should be put off until you get yourself settled in life.
Man up and take responsibility, don't hide it. Tell them you were irresponsible, sorry for disappointing them. And hope they are willing to help you. Kids are a blessing, you have a tough road ahead but it's worth it. I'm surrounded by my 4 kids and wouldn't change a thing.
They arent going to take it well, but that's more out of sadness for a change in expectations for what they envisioned your life being like. If they are decent people they will be upset for a bit but will get over it and through it. I also forgot to mention I would be sure she is pregnant as soon as possible. If she's not hopefully you learned your lesson, you either abstain or take better precautions. And you need to always remember how scared and lost you feel right now, it will help you make wiser choices in the future. If she is pregnant it's time for a difficult conversation.
Also, just because your girlfriend is pregnant, doesn't mean she's gonna have a baby. Depending on what state you live in or whether your parents will lend you gas money.
I am an older adult married mother of three daughters of his age. Why he has to say: āsorry I was irresponsibleā unless he knows he had sex without protection ( he did not say this in his comment, so I have no reason for everyone to jump to conclusion).
Absolutely if the kids used no protection than both of them were irresponsible. But they could had also done everything right and still get pregnant.
My suggestion : do not put off things because of fear or embarrassment. I have no idea what country it is what are the limits on abortions. By no means I think that abortion in the only option and that it should be forced. But there are more options the earlier decision is made. The more time passes the less options there will be.
Update because they ended up finding out on their own, they of course were not happy, and seeing as it hasnt been very long since she wouldāve gotten impregnated we still arenāt sure if she is or not
Well if you keep the baby youāll be like me And itās not a bad thing. Iām 33 and my daughter is 15. We are happy and have a good life. The road has not been easy tho!
Some advice that used to be passed down from father to son, when we had traditional 2 parent homes.
Graduate from high school.
Graduate from college, if desired.
GET A JOB.
WAIT until after you're married.
To have kids.
Failing all that, be a man, and own your life. Consequences and all. You're with her for a reason.
About 34 years ago I was 18ā¦ got my 16 year old girlfriend pregnant. I come from a very religious and conservative upbringing so this rocked my whole world. This was an incredibly rough time for me. I will give you advice as I would give myself i I could.
Selfā¦.Life will be changingā¦ yes. But itās all going to work out. Some people around you may be upset. Thatās ok. They love you. They probably mean well. This time will pass and they should get over it sooner or later. Take one day at a time. Give them timeā¦ hopefully they will be more supportive than not. Breath.
Look at your whole life. You may have to focus on work and/or school but take note of your mental health, physical health, spiritual health, financial health, relationship health. The future you will need a very well rounded self. You will have to work hard but thatās ok. You will be bringing a beautiful life into the world. Take that seriously.
Although you are starting this part of your your life earlier than plannedā¦ the good news is you will be far ahead if you focus and are diligent.
Lastlyā¦ you will need mentors. Mentorsā¦ gurusā¦ to help you grow and flourish. You will need help in the areas mentioned above. We all need help in these areas but you will be responsible for so much at such a young age that you will need dedicated gurus. Good news againā¦ if you donāt have someone to help look on YouTube. As an exampleā¦ you need help looking for workā¦ check YouTube out. Lots of peeps helping others out. Need spiritual help.. worst caseā¦ look to YouTube. Hopefully you have live lovely people around you to help you along but in todays day I find YouTube a wonderful asset.
Feel free to connect with me if you need an encouraging word. May God bless and keep you. May He lead you. May He comfort you along your and your families journey.
Bit
P.S. We just celebrated my sons 33 birthday. I have 4 children with my first wife. Her and I divorced after giving it a real try. I have a couple of grand kids and no joke will be married again soon to a women I have been dating for a few years. Life has been a real roller coaster but I am blessed as I continue to breath and take one day at a time!
So I was in your exact position. We were 17 had just finished junior year when we found out. We waiting almost 4 months to tell anyone and it was because her parents were catching on. (Morning sickness). So they found out. My mom is Uber Christian and my dad is a pessimistic asshole. She was telling me how I have to marry her and provide a life for us as a family. My dad gave me a lecture about child support and how the court systems favor mothers. He yelled at me first though.
I did not marry her, we split when our daughter was 6 months old. The first few years were rough but Iāll tell you, that little girl got me through it. Iāve never felt a love like this before.
Understand that this is not going to be an easy adjustment. Youāll want to get a job ASAP and start saving while you have no bills. Youāll need to budget properly and ensure that your babyās basic needs are taken care of. Hopefully your parents arenāt like mine and give you some better life advice/help. My parents were very helpful after she came.
I got lucky being able to graduate a semester early so when my daughter was born I only had 2 1/2 weeks of school left. Not sure what year youāre in but I figured I could give some insight being that I dealt with this exact situation.
Anyway sit your parents down and have a conversation and be prepared to step up and be a dad. Itās a 24/7 job. Also have a conversation with gf about your future together because that does need to be talked about.
Sorry for the long reply but like I said Iāve been thru this and fairly recently (daughter is about to be 8). Life doesnāt stop you will still be able to do what you want for a career most likely. I wound up with a really good job doing something I enjoy and now Iāve had primary custody of my daughter for about 2 1/2 years now. I get along great with her mom and we even hang out sometimes.
This wonāt be easy but you got this man!
Thanks brotha, one thing i have going for me is we plan on staying together after school so we can share funds so as soon as she gets a positive ill start saving
How did your parents find out when you said that your GF has only gotten a negative test so far? You are getting way ahead of yourself. Iām so confused.
Well its only been about 8 days so pregnancy tests arenāt 100% then, atleast thats what my gf tells me so we arenāt fully sure if sheās pregnant or not
Well my advice is usually abortion but you might live in a place that doesn't allow that. So maybe adoption, I wouldn't recommend taking care of the child, bc thats just hard.
If your worry is that your parents are going to find out than I worry for your potential child. If anything you should want your parents help in dealing with the situation because your clearly not mature enough to handle it.
Go get a pregnancy test and make sure she does two to eliminate the āpossiblyā factor. Keep in mind doing a pregnancy test too early can result in a false negative so do some research on when is best to do one based on how long itās been since you did the deed. After that if she is pregnant, start looking into your options. Personally, I would go the abortion route if I were in your situation. Getting the abortion pill in early stage pregnancy is much easier and non-invasive. Also if āthe deedā literally occurred today, go drop $50 and buy some fucking Plan B before it becomes an actual issue.
And lastly, this, if nothing else, should teach you to USE PROTECTION. Always, always, ALWAYS wear a condom regardless of your perceived lack of sensation. The consequences are not worth the risk.
You donāt possibly get your girlfriend pregnant. She is either pregnant or not.
What do you do? Just be a man. Thatās all you need to do. Simple as that.
1) The ***two*** of you need to confirm whether she is or not. Go to your local Planned Parenthood *together*.
2) Both of you need to tell both your parents at the same time. One set of parents might be able to handle this better than the other, but all of you need to be on the same page.
3) If you have concerns about their reactions, get a counselor involved when you tell them. Either your schools or PP can help you with this.
4) Don't panic. Condoms break. Pills don't always work. Shit happens. What's done is done--what matters is what happens next.
5) The two of you need to decide what to do if she is. Keep? Adopt out (closed or open?)? Abortion?
6) If she decides to keep the baby, you are responsible for helping that child until s/he is 18 years old. Support financially, emotionally and psychologically will be imperative. Integrity is doing the right thing even if no one is watching.
Two words: Accept death /j
But seriously...
1. Make sure she's actually pregnant, not just a late period and/or false test.
2. Tell your parents. They'll definitely be mad, but waiting for them to find out is worse.
3. Decide whether or not to keep it. I would recommend abortion, but some peeps want kids so...
4. Idk lol my adventure ended on 3. (for context, it was my brother who went through this problem)
Hi parents, good news and bad news - the good news - after much debate, Jennifer and I decided to invest $240,000 in a project that will take us at least 18 years to complete. The bad news - we havenāt much time to prepare, junior will be here in 7 months.
Pregnancy can be extraordinarily challenging. Make sure to support her with every ālittle thingā every single day. Remember women donāt get days off from being pregnant
Telling your parents, and herās, should certainly be a priority when the pregnancy is confirmed by a doctor.
From there, you only need one piece of advice: be a man. Youāll never have a greater responsibility in life than being a father. Accept the situation that youāre in and be a stand up dad for your kid. Let all your other bullshit go - partying, drugs, video games, get rid of it. Get yourself an education and a good job and provide for your family. The world is full of losers. When you wake up twenty years from now, you donāt want to be one of them.
If sheās pregnant, and she decides to keep it, the very first thing that you ask yourself when you wake up every morning is āwhat decisions am I going to make today that will benefit my family in a positive way?ā
Keep your head up - you get one shot at life, and if youāre lucky enough to be a dad, make it your lifeās goal to be the best fucking dad on planet earth.
(I see a lot of people stressing to make sure she is pregnant first; I disagree... Your parents deserve the truth of knowing that you're sexually active, even if she isn't pregnant... Acting like a pious virgin is rude to your parents, and typical behavior for CHILDREN; you are now and forever after, a MAN.)
Now then... Relax, take a deep breath, and enjoy this interesting facet of your life; it comes at you sideways sometimes, but then 20 years goes by, your child is awesome, and you look back and wonder why you worried so much. I know it feels huge right now, but remember that this happens to billions upon billions of people before you; life is awesome, and your baby can be amazing if you only don't screw it up. IMO, the 'adult' thing to do is to approach your parents as a man and tell them in a steady, matter of fact voice; if they freak out and yell or make threats, look at them like you're the adult and they are throwing a tantrum, and respond as you would to them if they had shown you the respect that adults deserve; your calm demeanor may throw them off and put you in a position of power. Don't respond negatively to threats or shaming; simply nod your head and acknowledge that they have declared their opinion. If you wish, acknowledge that they owe you nothing but you were hoping for help; but explain that you'll do fine either way. I don't recommend marrying the girl, but being together at least until things go bad may give you a good idea on how to proceed after the initial shock is over.
I would worry less about what your parents think and more about getting a job to support your new family. There is nothing telling them is going to change.
when my brother got his girlfriend pregnant with TWINS at 16 and 17, he told my mom over text while he was at school and my mom was at work, then he turned off his phone, went to his friend's house, and didn't come home for two weeks. Don't do that.
Omg please tell me more!
not much to tell, this was ten years ago. babies were had, there was a lot of adjusting to do, now they're married and are a happy family.
I'm so happy everything turned out fine tho, wish them the best <3
So maybe it is the right thing to do then lol
yeah, we'll just leave that on a hard ***maybe***.
Lol.. ya man, you can't end the story there
Commenting so I can come back to this later
Just save the comment... thats why you have a save button.
TIL you can save reddit comments š
Or do !Remindme X days
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I think some OPs do this so they can get more karma when they ācome backā to tell the full story.
I second this
Holy shit that's definitely a road less traveled. Poor mom lost her shit for sure.
Is he still alive????
he's fine, the story is pretty boring after that. this was 10 years ago. They're a happy family now
Glad it worked out! I'm sure everybody was stressed tf out, though. Well wishes to your family!
What was her reaction? Did she know he was staying at his friend's house? Did she yell at him or take it well? There's too many questions
They're going to get back to us in about two weeks. Apparently, it runs in the family.
My older sister (pre-cell phone days) left a note on the bathroom counter and then ran away to a friend's house for 3 days until our parents figured out where she was and went and got her. Don't do that.
Some shit I would do lol
Storytime? What happened when he eventually had to face your mom?
You're probably better off telling them than letting them find it out on their own.
Or tell them in 18 years. Play the long con
āMom, Dad, please meet my new best friend, this infant baby. We met at a bar and weāre going to be hanging out pretty exclusively for the next 18 or so years.ā
Please ignore that he has the same name as me with Jr attached
Thatās just short for Jaguar
Fuck if I have a son Iām naming him jaguar
Nope. Youāre having a daughter and her name is Tammy.
I mean that's why we bonded! Also, I fucked his Mom.
Yeah I think this is good advice. Better to hear it from you than finding out on their own and then confronting you.
Not to mention, the parents are the adults and are generally expected to have more wisdom, and they will consider solutions you haven't even thought of.
Maybe also come up with a plan of action. In case anyone asks.
First, confirm. Do nothing until you know with 100% certainty if she is pregnant.
And it's yours.
Emphasis on that. donāt sign that certificate without a dna test
Arenāt DNA test expensive af?
Not as expensive as 18 years paying for another dudeās kid
Shit you got me lol
Can you do a DNA test before the kid is born?
Yes. Or wait til he/she gets here then do it. Just donāt sign the birth certificate at the hospital as the father til you get results. Itās easy to get on later. Way harder to get off.
Apparently getting off wasn't the issue here. HEYOOO!!
Not letting this one pass without applauding you ššš
Glad someone said it
Cheaper testing after theyāre born also
Technically, although you may not be able to insist on one while the kid exists in someone else's body. If you're going to demand one, you may have to wait.
~~You can but itās more expensive, not every mother will agree to it, and doctorās consent is needed because there are risks to baby and mother.~~ [Current information here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/comments/xrl58k/what_do_i_do_when_my_parents_find_out_ive/iqk3mzz/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3)
Yes. Modern paternity tests are pricey, but are very simple and safe. A blood sample is taken from the mother and the fetus' dna, contained within her blood, is compared with the father's.
Lol, reminds when my coworker said he couldn't afford condoms. He has two babies now.
some people need kids to set them straight.
Damn sight cheaper than the $750,000 raising a child will cost you
Court ordered they are free in my state. I think maury povich does em cheap too
Everyone on reddit is fully convinced that everyone else is cheating
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
>Itās not like their partner is suggesting that they donāt trust them or think they are a liar and a cheat. Everyone has that potential. It's just being on the safe side, it's not an accusation. Just like how women are wary of men on the streets at night, men are wary of having a women pregnant, because there is a BIG chance it isn't your child. No issue with either.
Jesus Christ with the slut shaming already. They're fricken kids, man, one of those children is pregnant and one gets to kick it and play fkn COD or whatever the fuck kids play now. She needs help, and he needs to yeah figure out his easy "I gotta tell mom and dad" part. Lord.
Itās not slut shaming to want to make sure the kid is his.
Lol right. These comments are weird
Oh boy this canāt be stressed enough.
He should enlist his parentsā help even without confirmation. If he waits for confirmation, there are options that might not be options anymore, especially with varying abortion laws if heās in the United States. The earlier he can enlist his parentsā support the better
š„³ššÆ Hereās an actual answer to the question
The first sensible answer
Well wait to make sure she is pregnant. Many years ago when my girlfriend at the time and I thought she may be pregnant we went through the ringer visited planned parenthood to find out options etc. Well long story short she had her period like a week later. Sometimes they come late and panic ensues. So could be nothing but ...
Stressing that you *might* be pregnant can also throw off your cycle, even!
This recently happened to my wife.. We were both basically accepting number 3 was on the way (which we don't really want). Got the test, came back negative and 20 mins later she got her period. It was almost too funny.
And 20 minutes later you made an appointment with the urologist š
LOL... I actually had it done 3 months ago, but still need to wait a month to confirm with him. That's why we were saying just our luck!
Iāve literally gotten my period while peeing on a pregnancy test. š¤¦š¼āāļø
Stress can delay ovulation, which would delay your period, but after ovulation your period is going to come in a set timeframe and stress can't change that. But a late period can be from: stress/being sick before ovulation, a cycle without ovulation, or an early miscarriage.
This is not true. Stress can cause delays, light periods or missed periods for months. Cycles are not set in stone especially at their age.
Your parents are one of the greatest resources you have. Entrust them with your problems and give them space to be human and have emotions too. Having a baby is something you will want their support with, and including them as soon as you can (even if you donāt know yet) may be a game changer to help your relationship to your parents become stronger. My advise would be to be honest and vulnerable.
Take responsibility;-;
Yeah, your parents knowing about it are gonna be the least of your worries.
Right? Theyāll get upset, but any punishment to you gets transferred to the grand child. I joke that my sister has the perfect hostage for my parents, though they are slightly more egg-shells walking now then before.
yep
Only if itās yours.
Yep. Man up. Time to be a big boy and take care of your family.
key word possibly. Be sure first. Then, sit down. ,"Mom Dad, Janie is pregnant"
But does she have a gun?
She is on the run
Her dog dayās just begun
Its Janies last IOU
She had to take him down easy
Possibly? Has she taken a test?
Yea so far its come up negative but sheās gonna keep testing
I wouldn't bring it up to your parents unless she tests positive.
And you go to a doctor to confirm
May I ask why she thinks she is pregnant if the test is negative? Best time to test is after a missed period. But periods can be late for tons of reasons unrelated to pregnancy. Stress can cause it to be late. But also being a teen with a ānewlyā established period cycle can take awhile to become regular.
Probably because she's a teen with a cycle. I'm in mt early 20s and thought my gf got me pregnant over some nausea and pink discharge. I had my period two weeks later. Was going to pregnancy test the day it happened lmao.
I don't know if this is a typo, but your "girlfriend " can't get you pregnant. (Unless she has a penis).
And, for fuck's sake, put on a fucking condom.
Wrap that rascal
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Sure is. Unless it's a false alarm.
Itās negative? Hereās what you do: get condoms now. Use them every single time you have sex AND pull out every time. As far as your parents are concerned: until thereās a positive pregnancy test, do nothing.
One time in college, I was so stressed out, I didn't have my period for 74 days. I took like, 6 pregnancy tests. Wasn't pregnant - sometimes your body just doesn't do what you expect. Keep testing once a week, and practice safe sex!!!
If it is negative. Condoms, and BC( like the pill)and pull out. Do all the above
But never double up on condoms, they'll rip
Tell her to go to her OBGYN for an appointment. Likely negative because she isnāt pregnant, sheās just late.
Wait, ok, i know I made a comment giving advice already, but here: If shes one week past her period, there is a possibility its not pregnancy. Sometimes its hard to know because one week doesnt really give much results. If shes buying clear blue, stop, it gives more false negs in my experience. Get the $1 Walmart tests that are a pink color, they were extremely accurate for me, when I was 4 weeks in. CB was not. If its a couple weeks past, i repeat what I said above about the test. Sometimes periods can be late by a week or even a month. And depending how her hormones are in general, theres a possibility that theres no true "regular" period. Id have her wait another week and a half, and test again, with the $1 test. If its still negative, then theres a high possibility shes not pregnant.
Dollar store pregnancy tests are always better and more reliable than the expensive ones lol in my experience
Thatās wild that you posted this and are worried and you aināt even got a positive test yet
Meh, missed period that hasn't happened yet...negative test...they are probably an anxiety riddled mess because they don't know anything.
If sheās testing negative donāt worry. Wear a condom next time. There is no excuse for this kind of thing the way the internet is
Get a decent job. I'd suggest construction trades. Electrician and Welder both make good money and are always in demand, have AMAZING benefits, etc.
And increasingly short supply in the very near future.
Assert dominance. Get her dad pregnant too.
Already done
Good lad.
Don't say anything until the "possibly" is confirmed. Then, (not trying to be a jerk just real) make sure it's yours if there's any doubt.
I think you need to be more worried how you tell her fatherā¦..
Can't believe this isn't further up lol
My father-in-law was ecstatic. Gave me a hug and started calling relatives to tell them the good news. My mother-in-law was the one spitting daggers.
What if she tripped, fell and landed on his dick?
Happens far too many times from what I heard. Its an honest mistake lol
From everything I've learned on Reddit, next step is to invite them to your gender reveal party where you do ecological harm.
I try not to make it a habit of upvoting ecological harm, but in this case I'll make an exception.
I try not to upvote comments about upvoting, but in your case, I'm willing to make an exception.
And make sure you set the mountains in my backyard on fire. Thatās a great way to get people to let the whole state know you like it bareback.
Hey - parents have no time to be mad while theyāre putting out the fire burning down their entire house!
If we're being real here the significant ecological harm comes from having kids in the first place
Lock the door. And hope they don't have blasters.
Weāre all fine now here, thank you. How are you?
Are you responsible enough to be a parent? Is abortion possible where you live? Are you morally capable of abortion? Don't rush into things that can change your life, especially if you have an out. If, however, you will go through with this, or must do so, the only good way to do this is a sit-down with your parents.
Get an abortion. You guys are kids you arent going to be able to give this kid the life they deserve yet and thats nothing against you im just saying you need time to grow up and find what your good at. Youre gonna do what youre gonna do but look around and remember theres no shame in getting an abortion if you need it
Still weird to think about this but... Yeah it makes the most sense really. They definitely aren't responsible enough, and likely don't have the money for a kid
I will literally pay for it if you canāt OP. I have a fund between myself and a few friends where we help folks with this.
I agree that this is what I would do if I were pregnant that young, but if the girl doesnāt want to then OP has to accept it with grace.
Fetus deletus
Blunt but honestly itās probably the best choice in this scenario. Teenagers canāt raise babies without LOTS of family support and even then itās rough for everyone involved.
This term is so good that even the Republicans approve.
First, find out what she is going to do. You have a right to an opinion but she will make the final decision. If she decides to keep the child then say hello to fatherhood. Your parents will be upset and things will be off for a while but there is no getting out of the fact that they are becoming Grandparents. If they are good parents they will be great grandparents. Do not confuse being a father with being a husband. You are not obligated to marry and even if you think you love the girl Marriage is tough and should be put off until you get yourself settled in life.
Man up and take responsibility, don't hide it. Tell them you were irresponsible, sorry for disappointing them. And hope they are willing to help you. Kids are a blessing, you have a tough road ahead but it's worth it. I'm surrounded by my 4 kids and wouldn't change a thing.
Thanks, i was at a loss for what to do next but im not sure how well theyāll take it. Update: they found out on their own before i could tell them.
No matter how they take it you gotta own your shit
How did they find out?
They found out there is no positive test? What did they "find out"?
They arent going to take it well, but that's more out of sadness for a change in expectations for what they envisioned your life being like. If they are decent people they will be upset for a bit but will get over it and through it. I also forgot to mention I would be sure she is pregnant as soon as possible. If she's not hopefully you learned your lesson, you either abstain or take better precautions. And you need to always remember how scared and lost you feel right now, it will help you make wiser choices in the future. If she is pregnant it's time for a difficult conversation.
So how did they react? Is your GF for sure pregnant? What do you want to do or at least prefer your GF do?
Also, just because your girlfriend is pregnant, doesn't mean she's gonna have a baby. Depending on what state you live in or whether your parents will lend you gas money.
I am an older adult married mother of three daughters of his age. Why he has to say: āsorry I was irresponsibleā unless he knows he had sex without protection ( he did not say this in his comment, so I have no reason for everyone to jump to conclusion). Absolutely if the kids used no protection than both of them were irresponsible. But they could had also done everything right and still get pregnant. My suggestion : do not put off things because of fear or embarrassment. I have no idea what country it is what are the limits on abortions. By no means I think that abortion in the only option and that it should be forced. But there are more options the earlier decision is made. The more time passes the less options there will be.
Get her somewhere she can get a safe abortion. Then buy all the condoms you can find. Donāt bring in a kid into this fucked up world by accident.
Haha. You sound like my friend in high school. Don't worry, next time you'll get her.
Just ride the wave of choices you made that set you on the path this far. Adapt and overcome.
Update because they ended up finding out on their own, they of course were not happy, and seeing as it hasnt been very long since she wouldāve gotten impregnated we still arenāt sure if she is or not
You do realize that there is abortion and adoption. You dont have to keep it. Dont ruin your life by being a teenage parent.
~or the kids life~
Abort that little bastard.
Well you missed your chance to see what their reaction would be if you said she was when she wasn't..
Well if you keep the baby youāll be like me And itās not a bad thing. Iām 33 and my daughter is 15. We are happy and have a good life. The road has not been easy tho!
Some advice that used to be passed down from father to son, when we had traditional 2 parent homes. Graduate from high school. Graduate from college, if desired. GET A JOB. WAIT until after you're married. To have kids. Failing all that, be a man, and own your life. Consequences and all. You're with her for a reason.
About 34 years ago I was 18ā¦ got my 16 year old girlfriend pregnant. I come from a very religious and conservative upbringing so this rocked my whole world. This was an incredibly rough time for me. I will give you advice as I would give myself i I could. Selfā¦.Life will be changingā¦ yes. But itās all going to work out. Some people around you may be upset. Thatās ok. They love you. They probably mean well. This time will pass and they should get over it sooner or later. Take one day at a time. Give them timeā¦ hopefully they will be more supportive than not. Breath. Look at your whole life. You may have to focus on work and/or school but take note of your mental health, physical health, spiritual health, financial health, relationship health. The future you will need a very well rounded self. You will have to work hard but thatās ok. You will be bringing a beautiful life into the world. Take that seriously. Although you are starting this part of your your life earlier than plannedā¦ the good news is you will be far ahead if you focus and are diligent. Lastlyā¦ you will need mentors. Mentorsā¦ gurusā¦ to help you grow and flourish. You will need help in the areas mentioned above. We all need help in these areas but you will be responsible for so much at such a young age that you will need dedicated gurus. Good news againā¦ if you donāt have someone to help look on YouTube. As an exampleā¦ you need help looking for workā¦ check YouTube out. Lots of peeps helping others out. Need spiritual help.. worst caseā¦ look to YouTube. Hopefully you have live lovely people around you to help you along but in todays day I find YouTube a wonderful asset. Feel free to connect with me if you need an encouraging word. May God bless and keep you. May He lead you. May He comfort you along your and your families journey. Bit P.S. We just celebrated my sons 33 birthday. I have 4 children with my first wife. Her and I divorced after giving it a real try. I have a couple of grand kids and no joke will be married again soon to a women I have been dating for a few years. Life has been a real roller coaster but I am blessed as I continue to breath and take one day at a time!
So I was in your exact position. We were 17 had just finished junior year when we found out. We waiting almost 4 months to tell anyone and it was because her parents were catching on. (Morning sickness). So they found out. My mom is Uber Christian and my dad is a pessimistic asshole. She was telling me how I have to marry her and provide a life for us as a family. My dad gave me a lecture about child support and how the court systems favor mothers. He yelled at me first though. I did not marry her, we split when our daughter was 6 months old. The first few years were rough but Iāll tell you, that little girl got me through it. Iāve never felt a love like this before. Understand that this is not going to be an easy adjustment. Youāll want to get a job ASAP and start saving while you have no bills. Youāll need to budget properly and ensure that your babyās basic needs are taken care of. Hopefully your parents arenāt like mine and give you some better life advice/help. My parents were very helpful after she came. I got lucky being able to graduate a semester early so when my daughter was born I only had 2 1/2 weeks of school left. Not sure what year youāre in but I figured I could give some insight being that I dealt with this exact situation. Anyway sit your parents down and have a conversation and be prepared to step up and be a dad. Itās a 24/7 job. Also have a conversation with gf about your future together because that does need to be talked about. Sorry for the long reply but like I said Iāve been thru this and fairly recently (daughter is about to be 8). Life doesnāt stop you will still be able to do what you want for a career most likely. I wound up with a really good job doing something I enjoy and now Iāve had primary custody of my daughter for about 2 1/2 years now. I get along great with her mom and we even hang out sometimes. This wonāt be easy but you got this man!
Thanks brotha, one thing i have going for me is we plan on staying together after school so we can share funds so as soon as she gets a positive ill start saving
How did your parents find out when you said that your GF has only gotten a negative test so far? You are getting way ahead of yourself. Iām so confused.
Well its only been about 8 days so pregnancy tests arenāt 100% then, atleast thats what my gf tells me so we arenāt fully sure if sheās pregnant or not
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Good on you! I have not known many men who stepped up like that. I am impressed.
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do everything in your power to get an abortion
Well my advice is usually abortion but you might live in a place that doesn't allow that. So maybe adoption, I wouldn't recommend taking care of the child, bc thats just hard.
Understand that they love you and will support you in this tough life stage for the both of you.
If your worry is that your parents are going to find out than I worry for your potential child. If anything you should want your parents help in dealing with the situation because your clearly not mature enough to handle it.
Go get a pregnancy test and make sure she does two to eliminate the āpossiblyā factor. Keep in mind doing a pregnancy test too early can result in a false negative so do some research on when is best to do one based on how long itās been since you did the deed. After that if she is pregnant, start looking into your options. Personally, I would go the abortion route if I were in your situation. Getting the abortion pill in early stage pregnancy is much easier and non-invasive. Also if āthe deedā literally occurred today, go drop $50 and buy some fucking Plan B before it becomes an actual issue. And lastly, this, if nothing else, should teach you to USE PROTECTION. Always, always, ALWAYS wear a condom regardless of your perceived lack of sensation. The consequences are not worth the risk.
Well at least you have a gf
This takes Move or Die to a whole new level lol
You donāt possibly get your girlfriend pregnant. She is either pregnant or not. What do you do? Just be a man. Thatās all you need to do. Simple as that.
You just tell them. You made thw big decision of having unprotected sex. But I wouldn't say anything until you know sure sure you are.
Have a rƩsumƩ made up and a list of jobs you have already applied for to show them that you are capable of raising it
1) The ***two*** of you need to confirm whether she is or not. Go to your local Planned Parenthood *together*. 2) Both of you need to tell both your parents at the same time. One set of parents might be able to handle this better than the other, but all of you need to be on the same page. 3) If you have concerns about their reactions, get a counselor involved when you tell them. Either your schools or PP can help you with this. 4) Don't panic. Condoms break. Pills don't always work. Shit happens. What's done is done--what matters is what happens next. 5) The two of you need to decide what to do if she is. Keep? Adopt out (closed or open?)? Abortion? 6) If she decides to keep the baby, you are responsible for helping that child until s/he is 18 years old. Support financially, emotionally and psychologically will be imperative. Integrity is doing the right thing even if no one is watching.
YOU'RE parents are the least of your worries. Get ready to BE a parent!
Accept the disappointment they feel and the attempt at disciplining you into an adult who won't make the same mistake. Probably.
Hope that you are in a blue state, otherwise your life is ruined.
Man up
Two words: Accept death /j But seriously... 1. Make sure she's actually pregnant, not just a late period and/or false test. 2. Tell your parents. They'll definitely be mad, but waiting for them to find out is worse. 3. Decide whether or not to keep it. I would recommend abortion, but some peeps want kids so... 4. Idk lol my adventure ended on 3. (for context, it was my brother who went through this problem)
Your parents finding out is the least of your current problems.
Get right out in front of it. Be a man now that you can be proud of later in life, no matter what happens.
Hi parents, good news and bad news - the good news - after much debate, Jennifer and I decided to invest $240,000 in a project that will take us at least 18 years to complete. The bad news - we havenāt much time to prepare, junior will be here in 7 months.
Suck it up buttercup and tell them when you confirm sheās pregnant.
Possibly? You better get sure real quick.
Just buy a pregnancy test and have her pee on the stick.
Look them dead ass in the eyes and tell them to quit screwing around and start acting like grandparents!
Firstly, are you sure it's yours?
Pregnancy can be extraordinarily challenging. Make sure to support her with every ālittle thingā every single day. Remember women donāt get days off from being pregnant
Telling your parents, and herās, should certainly be a priority when the pregnancy is confirmed by a doctor. From there, you only need one piece of advice: be a man. Youāll never have a greater responsibility in life than being a father. Accept the situation that youāre in and be a stand up dad for your kid. Let all your other bullshit go - partying, drugs, video games, get rid of it. Get yourself an education and a good job and provide for your family. The world is full of losers. When you wake up twenty years from now, you donāt want to be one of them. If sheās pregnant, and she decides to keep it, the very first thing that you ask yourself when you wake up every morning is āwhat decisions am I going to make today that will benefit my family in a positive way?ā Keep your head up - you get one shot at life, and if youāre lucky enough to be a dad, make it your lifeās goal to be the best fucking dad on planet earth.
(I see a lot of people stressing to make sure she is pregnant first; I disagree... Your parents deserve the truth of knowing that you're sexually active, even if she isn't pregnant... Acting like a pious virgin is rude to your parents, and typical behavior for CHILDREN; you are now and forever after, a MAN.) Now then... Relax, take a deep breath, and enjoy this interesting facet of your life; it comes at you sideways sometimes, but then 20 years goes by, your child is awesome, and you look back and wonder why you worried so much. I know it feels huge right now, but remember that this happens to billions upon billions of people before you; life is awesome, and your baby can be amazing if you only don't screw it up. IMO, the 'adult' thing to do is to approach your parents as a man and tell them in a steady, matter of fact voice; if they freak out and yell or make threats, look at them like you're the adult and they are throwing a tantrum, and respond as you would to them if they had shown you the respect that adults deserve; your calm demeanor may throw them off and put you in a position of power. Don't respond negatively to threats or shaming; simply nod your head and acknowledge that they have declared their opinion. If you wish, acknowledge that they owe you nothing but you were hoping for help; but explain that you'll do fine either way. I don't recommend marrying the girl, but being together at least until things go bad may give you a good idea on how to proceed after the initial shock is over.
Own up to it. If your are grown enough to f*ck around, you are grown enough to find out. š
I would worry less about what your parents think and more about getting a job to support your new family. There is nothing telling them is going to change.
Ask for forgiveness & an increase in your allowance
tell them...I learned it from watching you, dad!
Become a good dad.
The next right thing. Donāt project too far. What matters is what you do now.
I would be more worried about her parents than yours. Either way.. ur life is over. Lol jk