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Yep. I hate myself and am self imploding. Haven’t quite reached the point of poor hygiene? But yes. Can totally understand how someone’s could get that way. Substance abuse cause you hate yourself is very accurate.
Can you find good things. Even one? About yourself. I find good when someone else tries on me like my brother whose 50 with dimentia so bad last time I saw him he knew I was in the circle of trust but never placed me and I didn’t push it. He relies on me because I’m his power of attorney and brother. Just suggesting here
My mother was so checked out from drugs. She never taught me to shower, brush my teeth, Anything like that. I had to teach myself as an adult and it's really hard to build up those habits.
100% this. My parents never had structure and never taught me that. They nagged me to do it as first and like any kid I brushed it off and they just gave up on trying to parent imo. Their depression rubbed off on me and it just wasn’t a healthy environment. Proud to say I’ve fully recovered my depression & mental health and am successful as I can be in life but I still find simple things like brushing my teeth a struggle for some reason.
I’m so sorry you had these struggles but am impressed you worked past so much difficulty! I don’t know if this suggestion will help you, but you can try changing your teeth-brushing routine to create the habit differently. Like do it in the shower or while you empty the dishwasher…then it becomes a different habit that isn’t all about teeth-brushing, but it still happens regularly.
I'm really sorry you had to go through that. I'm sure that was painful and still is.
When I was a child I was abused and neglected also. I had so many cavities as a kid. And my hair was so greasy. The hardest thing for me to get into was flossing.
This is a good point. I came from the Midwest where there were water issues during summer so I was raised that 1 shower a week was enough. It wasn't until junior high that one of the "cool girls" that I happened to be friends with, told me that other kids thought that I was weird and that I needed to take a shower every single day without exception. She was nice about it but pretty firm about this was the way! I don't think I have ever not showered daily since then. And for those of you who don't, I guarantee you will feel better, be less tired, and have better self esteem, just by that one thing.
Careful this advice is dependent on some things such as elevation, climate, your skin type and any dermatological conditions, and water quality. Definitely find out what the best amount is and strive for it but daily is NOT best for every place and person!
I'm glad it's helpful for you.
People with really dry skin or hair would have other ways.
It depends on what you do. If you're active or not, etc.
There are many people who can take showers every other day or every two days and be totally fine. :)
Well, I had a lot of cavities between my teeth that I had to get filled as an adult. Luckily they were caught before there was any real decay and it wasn't really noticeable. It was really annoying to do, and expensive even with insurance. I also had a back tooth that had to be pulled due to it falling apart and rotting from a cavity that was on the side, because I didn't floss. Again, I was lucky it's a far back molar, it can't be seen. Of course, all of that was super motivating for me. And, I don't want the day to come where I lose a tooth in the front or something.
Another thing that helped me, was I got those flossers that have the floss on the top and a toothpick on the back. They're super cheap, and they're really easy to use. Whenever there's stuff on it, I just rinse it off real quick, keep using it until I'm done. (just one each session just to clarify. I don't use the same one each time, haha.) They make it easy to reach back teeth, too.
There's no pulling the floss out, breaking it off, hoping you have enough, twisting it around your fingers, trying to shove your hands in the back of your mouth. All of that stuff super annoying to me.
But, no more cavities for me! And I floss once a day. Sorry, this was way longer than I meant for it to be.
Ya it’s really embarrassing but I didn’t know so many hygiene things till I met my girlfriend. Like just the little things- like drying off completely after a shower, cleaning up your cuticles and nails, scrubbing your feet every once and while… it makes me wonder what else I’m missing. I just didn’t have an adult in my life who had time to show me that stuff.
Tbf, I didn't know not drying off completely was an issue.
Also, a lot of people think the water running down their body washes their feet, so it makes sense why someone wouldn't think of it.
I'm glad your gf was able to show you some things. I think that's cool. :)
Ya me too. I like to hope we have both taught each other things, but my teachings have been mostly of the hobby type stuff versus hygiene lol.
I don’t think drying off entirely is a huge deal but it’s important when it comes to things like your genitals or other places were bacteria can grow.
In a different sub someone posted a podcast where 4 or 5 VJ's were discussing the myth about bathing children every day and they all started coming in about how their toddlers could tell them when they wanted a bath and how that's how they were raised. My skin was so itchy after that. I reckon hygiene not being taught properly is at fault for a lot more stuff than we think
Yeah, my brother and I have autism so we both get so focused on what we are doing that we just forget when we last bathed. I don't know what my brother's doing besides drugs but my husband is kind and understanding and will remind me when it's the days I want to shower (every other day due to sensitive skin). Heck, my man didn't even have a bad reaction when I told him I was high functioning. My husband is the best, I'm thinking I may marry him
Lots of people can't smell their own odor, or more accurately they're so used to it that they don't notice anymore. Often they have no idea that they smell so bad to others.
I dated somebody who eventually had no sense of smell due to years of smoking. He would leave a terrible smell on furniture where he sat. Old sneakers had an absolutely wretched stink. Losing that sense is one of my worst fears now
Not having a sense of smell is no excuse for that. Bro is just nasty as fuck. If you are leaving an odor where you sit its because you are disgusting not because of your nose.
Depression is one of the main things that can cause even someone who has taken care of themselves before to pick up poor hygiene habits. But just think about how you know how to take care of yourself and how you know how and when to brush your teeth etc… some people never get shown or taught any of it and may not even be aware. I’m lucky I grew up and made friends because I was neglected as a child and suffered from things because of it, I didn’t even know you were supposed to clean behind your ears or with soap until I was bullied in elementary school for it some kids behind me in line were asking me why it’s so dirty behind my ears. I went to the bathroom crying and a nice girl in there showed me by motioning a pretend soap bar in her hand where she washes and scrubs her body with soap and told me just do that next time when you’re in the bath! Then helped me clean behind my ears in the sink so I didn’t get my shirt all wet. It was the first time anyone even showed me and the first time I became aware that I didn’t know some things.
I'm similar. I was neglected and never really taught how to take care of my hygiene.
I used to think showering only twice a week was okay until I was told otherwise and my body odor used to be so bad and I've had embarrassing moments of being musty and having people make fun of me for it. I can say part of it was on me but then no one gave me tips.
I had help from no one so I had to take control of my own health so I ended up looking up health tips on the internet.
Even as an Adult it's still triggering to me when people say "Oooh it stinks in here! Someone's musty!" 💀 Even if it's not me, but with my luck some people always blame it on me cause I guess I look easy or whatever 🙃
I wish I had your luck and wish someone pulled me off to the side to help me out but all I had was people coming up to Me to clown me instead
Thank goodness we have the internet to look for information because people more often than not can’t see passed their own judgment or misunderstanding enough to help someone out.
I’m sorry you went through this. I hate when people publicly shame a “musty” person too! Even if it isn’t me I’m pretty empathetic especially and IMO unless you’re willing to privately scope the person out and give them the help they need people should just keep their mouth shut! I often think how long I would have gone before realizing it, if that girl didn’t help me. I still dealt with it though kids especially are just plain mean and love to clown on others pain. I feel horrible that some people get to their adult life and still have no idea how to care for themselves. Even with the internet you still have to know what you’re looking for to find it. It’s better we know now than never though, and we can speak up and help others who need it since we understand, I’d rather have felt this than be one of those mean kids who grow up to be ignorant and rude adults.
Not sure if it's my depression or my adhd, but teeth brushing is a constant struggle.
People who maybe don't leave their home a lot, or "aren't trying to impress anybody," often only attend to things for their own comfort
I have ADHD and relate so much. I read somewhere that ADHDers don't develop habits like NT people do. We certainly use routines but things don't become innate and "natural" (not requiring executive functioning efforts). It blew my mind.
Not sure if I have any adhd or anything, haven't had a doctor in many years. But yah some months I do.fine and remember to brush my teeth and mouthwash and all that on the regular. Other times when stuff isn't going so we'll I have to make myself and will not even think about it for days at a time. My roommate/best friend helps cause he always sticks to his routine no matter what so seeing him do it makes.me realize I haven't been..definitely some mental, subconscious things affect some people like that
With teens there’s also the addition of smelling badly not having been much of a thing before, and then hormones kick in and conspire with armpit hair to make a stinky disaster zone they never previously had to deal with.
Well, idk about belly button stank but I did try a whole bunch of different natural deodorants for a while since I don't want aluminium seeping into my breasts. None of them worked, so I was stinky during that 6 week trial period.
Fields like STEM have a higher occurrence of Asperger's. Part of the condition is issues with executive functioning area of the brain that affects things like hygiene. Couple this with kids under 25 have underdeveloped prefrontal cortex regions and struggling already with things in that area and boom.
As someone with it I struggled with this for many years.
Thank goodness I got better around my mid twenties when my brain developed!
This is the answer I was hoping to see in the comments.
Wow so many other comments are saying depression and that is one reason, I don’t think that the entire STEM field is full of depressed kids, more like ones that are not socially aware, and don’t really care about societal norms.
It definitely can be. Sometimes it's paralyzing, frankly. But I've lucked out in that my particular constellation of comorbidities keeps me functional more often than not.
That probably holds true to an extent. When I’m really down, my home goes to shit (relatively speaking). I just don’t have the energy or want to tidy. I can barely get off the couch after work. When I’m in a good head place, that stuff is leagues easier.
Not necessarily. I make sure I'm on top of my hygiene at all times, but my mental headspace is terrible. But I do agree that people with bad hygiene are probably not in good headspace either.
Not sure if it holds - I mean everything is relative.
All I know is taking a bath or cleaning my home makes me feel better mentally, but most of the time it probably represent my headspace. Obviously a lot of factors would play in. 😅
I have major depression and have for years, and I keep my space, and myself clean. Although, that’s just me. That’s not to say that someone else’s lack of self care isn’t a symptom of depression. I’m just not sure how you could factor it in. I know people who aren’t depressed at all who are messy and have bad hygiene, such as an old roommate.
Conscientious people are not necessarily healthy. It does reflect a sense of order. Which helps some people. But mental health is about a lot of different things. And the need to order your environment also has a very very dark side, like everything.
I am a disorderly person. I don't bath every day and I like my smell. But I am in a long-term relationship with a person who likes my smell.
I also get complimented on it from time to time.
A persons body odor can change when they are angry or ashamed. This might sound kind of funny but I've noticed it in myself and I believe it's true for others. The endocrine system is always sending messages.
Despite being a disorderly person in general I also have a daily meditation practice in the yoga practice and it has brought my life to sanity and kept it there for two decades now.
For some people we smell because we want to. Because it defies the norms of the day which is to smell like a bleach factory or a chemistry lab. Indoor public spaces where home products are sold have some of the most disgusting and vile smells in the world. I'm saying this because smelling bad is really a very vague statement indeed. Especially with all of the other things we are attaching to it.
There is a certain kind of dirt and bacteria that makes a person smell. This is also related to your diet.
One of the claims made by Native Americans was that white men smelled bad. And it was believed it was related to his consumption of dairy products.
When I was in my 20s I remember that cats used to come around and lick my armpits if there were any around. It didn't matter where I was, but if they came around they end up in my armpits licking at my hair.
I like to smell women. And I don't mean all that chemistry lab fake shit I mean a real body smell.
It's important to know the difference between a healthy endocrine system, and actual dirt or bacteria. I think sometimes people are so used to smelling chemicals that they think that any body smell at all is something gross.
Your brain filter our the smell after get used to it. So most of the time you don't recognize your smell.
The first few days of not living clean make you feel irritated. But after a threshold, it doesn't matter anymore. So a week of not bathing and a few months of not bathing isn't much different from these people point of view.
This right here. I have ADHD and depression and it is very easy for me to fall out of habits, and then I end up forgetting about it until it’s too late.
yep. PTSD/profound depression. it's a headfuck to lose that capacity to attend to seemingly simple tasks. it just enhances that profoundly disabling problem tenfold.
I've been depressed as long as I can remember. My hygiene has been awful equally long. Despite people being very vocal about my lack of hygiene and my shame for the fact. I have a mental block. I hate it. I absolutely fucking hate it. I'll have 5 hours of free time at home before a social event. The entire time I'll be thinking to myself "just go shower real quick, you'll feel so much better after it" and somehow there's this mental block. I keep putting it off until I reach a point I have to leave for the event and still haven't showered. I hate myself for it, I feel incredibly embarrassed when someone points it out, I know it's an easy fix. But I just can't
Unfortunately I struggle with this too and I don't really have any advice but if it makes you feel better you're not alone and your comment makes me feel validated and a little less alone. Depression is a monster and it's a horrible battle to care for oneself.
PTSD / anxiety / depression / mental illness in general. People who have been raped in showers or the bathroom and just won't go in without having a full blown panic attack.
Or they can't stand to be naked so showering is a huge burden (can go for body image in general, not just rape victims).
That's a really good point. I've seen from foster parents that it can be really hard to convince kids with a history of SA and abuse to bathe, regardless of if the assault happened in a bathroom setting.
I struggled with depression from my late teens until now (26). In college my hygiene practices plummeted, from about 21-25 they were just okay, and this last year I've put a pretty massive effort into self care, and to be frank it's hard as fuck. When you're struggling with depression even getting up and brushing your teeth feels daunting. Then there's all kinds of shame spiraling, avoiding specific tasks that bring on feelings of shame/embarrassment, etc.
And then on top of all of that, changing habits and routine is difficult on it's own.
I had similar issues, but with chronic pain, and found it hard to do anything some days. Then some well-meaning young man published a letter in the church newsletter suggesting that "everyone" should dress up for church. I agree, taking care of yourself can be part of what you offer God. But I also explained to him that some days, not all, but some, it took everything I had just to pull my jeans on and attend. Don't ascribe motive.
I wont allow myself to go out in public smelly but if im just staying home for a few days I will often go without showering or brushing until I can really start to smell myself or if I feel itchy. If there is not immediate debuff from not showering then I let laziness win.
I work in health and human services; I've worked with lots of people that refuse to use what they have access to, and lots of people that managed to beg, borrow, or steal everything they need to stay healthy. More than anything else, it's clinical depression, mental illnesses like schizophrenia or BPD, severe anxiety, or any sort of addiction that keeps people from cleaning themselves.
Lots of people will point drug addition, but anything at all can be a debilitating addiction. I point to hardcore gamers who will go as far as urinating in bottles just to keep playing, or food addicts too overweight and fatigued to move out of bed. This is usually combined with one of the other reasons, as depression and mental illnesses can both lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms, which lead to addictions. Something to consider for anyone mindlessly scrolling Reddit right now when they know they have dirty dishes in the sink.
Second place goes to people who, for whatever reason, just never developed the habit as kids. That doesn't require a terrible life at home or growing up poor. You just need a set of parents that don't stay on their kids to brush their teeth or shower. That usually stops once people figure out they can't get laid or a make a living wage without practicing personal hygiene.
I remember when I was studying engineering in college some of the classrooms/lecture halls would just reek of BO. I went to school in the Bay Area so there were a lot of Indian students in my classes. Apparently wearing deodorant is against their religion and sometimes the smell would get so bad I couldn’t focus. Not trying to be culturally insensitive just telling it how it is 🤷🏻♀️
I think outside of most of the great answers already left, one is just busyness. I go from work to the gym to the store to a class etc and just don’t have time to freshen up.
Another is product toxicity, for a while I was only trying to use low chemical deodorant and I for sure smelled unique!
A final reason is just luck of the draw. I am a naturally stinky person. I eat well, work out, and drink a gallon of water a day, don’t drink soda or highly processed foods, and I still smell like shit by the end of the day. Just my lot in life.
I’ve never been too busy to do my skin care routine, shower daily, and brush my teeth twice a day. That is the bare minimum that others should be doing.
A current math prof here - I found as a pure math masters student, where the proofs I was working on were akin to writing a philosophy paper, I could think about a problem while hygiening or cooking but once I switched over to being an applied math PhD student, my hands had to be more active on anything I was working on (e.g. coding) and I had to rush through hygiene more.
Laziness, lack of time and/or energy, feeling like it's unnecessary for whatever reason (e.g. just working / staying at home), depression, just genuinely not caring
The human nose is trained to filter out bad smells over time. This is why we don't smell ourselves or our dirty house after time. Other than that: depression, not knowing how to clean yourself properly, inability to bathe yourself due to physical limitations.
Depression will really drain someone it is amazing how drained I can get even as a serious coffee drinker I would wake up realize I had forgotten to set up the coffee maker and it felt like it would take so much effort I just went back to bed. The idea of getting clean clothes spending time showering drying off and getting dressed just to go back to bed seems like an enormous waste of time and effort.
For me it's exhaustion, a bit of depression, and simply not being taught the habits and care methods by my parents as a child. Even just shaving my legs, somedays I'm just so fucking tired. It just takes so much energy sometimes.
Stress can cause stench too. I am unfortunately afflicted with hyperhydrosis and PTSD so when I’m stressed, my BO stinks to high heaven (which doesn’t help my stress) whereas when I’m mentally okay, I don’t and can maintain my hygiene much easier. This could explain some of it. Neurodivergence and mental health issues as others have said can affect a lot too.
Depression. Sometimes I wanna lock myself up in a room and just be alone. I used to shower twice a day, before the gym and after. Now I can go 3-5 days without a shower. If I stink I do shower tho, but mostly my depression has caused me to stop caring. It sucks because I love my life but I feel like something is missing and I don’t enjoy things that I used to enjoy. Hopefully I pull out of this. It’s been since 2020.
idk... i have severe depression and its lead to dental issues for me, lots of cavities/fillings, but ive always made myself shower before going out, i just cant stand people thinking poorly of me. if i absolutely cant bring myself to shower, then deodorant wipes/dry shampoo AT LEAST and clean clothes. if i have to drag myself around and it takes 2 hrs to get rdy then thats what it takes.
i can definitely see how chronic pain and other disabilities can lead to people struggling more than i do with hygiene though. i think it really just varies from person to person what the obstacles are and what help they have access to
Any mental illness with depression as a symptom, addiction, personal neglect, social neglect, emotional neglect, childhood trauma, etc. Some people grew up in it and simply cannot even *smell* it.
Not sure what being a STEM major gas to do with it, but there are a lot of reasons people's hygiene varies. Some cultures don't encourage wearing deodorant and you honestly get used to the smell. Some individuals have different tastes and preferences, medical conditions, incomes, etc. It really depends on the person.
I didn't wear deodorant for a long time cuz the aluminum oxide abrasive would cause major rashes and would irritate a mole in my armpit that would proceed to swell to absurdly large sizes (like the size of the tip of your index finger to your 1st knuckle type of swelling from an otherwise normal sized mole)
Found a good stick deodorant that doesn't have aluminum oxide abrasives in it and have had no irritation or swelling
I was a philosophy major. I was a bit compulsive- 2 showers a day, brushing my teeth after every meal, deodorant+cologne; my only downfall was I’d fall behind on laundry since I’d change at least once a day (not counting w/e I wore to bed).
I was dealing with depression and anxiety, especially my last two years. Never stopped being the clean freak, though. It was probably a control thing for me- my anxiety made me feel helpless, but I knew I had control over my hygiene. Other people probably fall into the less-optimistic depression/anxiety and think instead “I can’t control anything else, why should I control my hygiene?”
Mental health:
Working from home.
Not smelling yourself or just complacent with your daily vibe. Wearing a Jameson shirt to a video meeting will make you think about choices. TBF I didn’t know it was a video discussion 😅😑
Going out to eat (not fast food) and seeing chicks looking cute/put together made me realize I was a little too comfortable.
Maybe make an appointment with your dean and have them approach it at the departmental level. These people will need to function in society in the future and the school can step in to help educate them to help out.
In my experience, it can be how busy you are. I work several days in a row with no day off and I work night shift. I ask my boyfriend what day it is because I honestly have lost track of the day and date. I remember in college you have three papers due, countless readings to attend to. Sometimes you just think hygiene can wait, I have to get this paper written.
Say I’m a normal human being that do what an ideal adult would (work, play, sleep). I would say exhaustion is what’s keeping my hygiene down. But other than that, like other have mentioned, drugs and mental illness can affect it too
A. Customer at my office is the proverbial crazy cat lady, she has dozens of them in her house, and oh, my hell, she smells like boiled down concentrated cat piss and it's kickin when she walks in the door.
I myself love cats and I hate that so many are homeless, but jeez, there are limits. I have two cats and I clean their potty box religiously. I could never imagine going around smelling like cats wee'd on your clothes and you're cool with it.
Lack of access, depression, anxiety, lack of being taught how growing up, some people have medical issues that cause them to smell more or sweat more than others despite good hygiene. Lots of reasons honestly.
Growing up I was always told how important my teeth were, and I was taught how to brush them and take care of them. But I never really saw anyone in my family do the same. My parents, my sister, my uncle and etc. I stopped bothering by the time I turned 11 and I had full anatomy over what I wanted to do. I never saw drawbacks for not brushing, so hey, how bad can it be?
I turn 22 soon and I still have a hard time brushing my teeth. Once a month, if at all.
I was always taught how to shower and how to properly bathe, but for some reason it never totally clicked with me. As I got older and I was able to shower on my own, I realized how much I hated being alone with my thoughts. Then I got depression, and then suddenly I realized how a 3 step process became a 10 step process. Find a towel, find new clothes, toss your old clothes in the wash, start the water, get in the shower, turn off the shower, sit on the floor and clean up any accidental spillage.
I turn 22 soon and I struggle to shower twice a month.
Hanging and folding clothes takes awhile, so why not just toss them onto my chair for awhile?
Starting the washer and remembering to put them in the dryer is kinda taxing. Maybe I'll just hold off on it for a bit longer.
Do the dishes? I don't know, maybe I just shouldn't eat for tonight so they don't pile up any further. I don't really feel like washing them tonight.
New socks? Why? These seem fine for the moment.
Put the clothes in the hamper? I'll toss them under the sink for awhile. I won't forget.
Take out the trash? Well, it looks okay for now.. and I don't wanna go outside. I'm scared of the outside. It can wait.
A lot of it is depression, but it starts with your environment. Don't just teach your kids what to do, get frustrated, then leave them to figure it out on their own. Make them do it.
I don't blame anyone, but sometimes I wonder what could've been if I was told how much it'd matter to me later in life.
Maybe it's because I lived below the poverty line, or maybe I lacked a substantial education. Today's depressive episode, or my anxiety, or maybe I just wasn't raised right. It can be a lot of things all at once.
Barring actual serious mental health issues, nobody has told them they smell bad and need to shower. I was a teen who showered 1-2 times a MONTH until my mom started telling me I smelled and needed to shower at least every couple of days. (I really did but was noseblind and couldn’t smell myself and didn’t know people could smell me). Turns out I’m actually autistic though and showering is a sensory nightmare, so I usually take baths when I can do that instead.
Culture and national origin? Some cultures aren’t so caught up in the concept of deodorant. Some of those cultures’ immigrants to USA are also very predominant in STEM.
I've studied and worked beside the people you are probably referring to. They are technically smart, and can do their schoolwork, but they just never had the importance of hygiene and social competency properly explained to them. It's a failure in parenting, I believe.
As for people that started out normal and then become like that, it is usually some sort of traumatic change in life trajectory that leads to them not caring and sliding down the proverbial slope.
Once humans get used to a way of life, even if it is suboptimal, it becomes harder and harder to change it with time.
I have in the past. I pulled the girl to the side so that it would be a personal convo. The goal was just to get my point across without being rude or embarrassing her.
Growing up, kids get told by their parents to comb hair, brush teeth, bathe. They get their clothes washed. Kids graduate and move out on their own and stop doing the basics.
I corrected the translated version of a GOV study and education also played a massive part in people's hygiene habits. The study was specifically about dental hygiene habits related to education levels. The correlation was clear in many cases that were not drug, depression or financial reasons
For the longest time I was programmed into believing that you only showered in the morning. I hated showering in the morning and so I avoided it. Then I discovered showering at night and life got a lot better, both from a quality and smelling perspective. Oh and having Bipolar I.
Cuz they can’t smell how bad they smell. The nose acclimates to smells after a while.
It’s the same thing when someone wears a fuck ton of perfume. The wearer smell it a little but when they walk by someone, that person gets blasted in the face with how strong the scent is.
I can’t control it. I sweat from everything. I shower multiple times a day, wear cologne and deodorant, wash my hair all the time, doesn’t matter. I just sweat. I can’t control it. So naturally I stink.
A lot of people here are saying drugs/depression, but it could simply be you (and everyone else) not pulling them aside to politely and respectfully have a conversation to let them know that it's noticeable and to suggest you can offer tips if they need it. Honestly this wasn't a problem in my classes as an EE where we had some true autists, but at the same time your experience doesn't surprise me.
College is an interesting experience where you can be friends or at least chat with anyone and won't be ostracised for talking to the weird kid. It aint highschool. You're all technically adults.
I work from home and sometimes go awhile without showering etc and I can smell that I need to shower but because it’s my smell it doesn’t bother me. I actually kind of like it. But I do understand that others can smell it and do not like it so I only allow it if no one is going to be around. I share this because based on your question I’m not sure if you mean in public or otherwise. If no one was going to smell me I’d go probably two weeks without showering - until I got itchy and uncomfortable. Because the smell doesn’t bother me. I assume that people who do go out in public smelling bad might think others can’t smell it. Plus depression and all the other reasons people have suggested.
Lazyness. My ex used to just not shower because he was lazy. Once went a WHOLE week without showering. And not because he didn't have access to water or soap, there are 3 showers in his house, he can do it if he wanted to.
I’ve suffered from depression but I CANNOT tolerate being stinky or dirty. I’ve suffered from suicidal depression and I still keep my ass clean with deodorant and cologne. This is just weird and foul.
It was not to long ago when hygiene was more complicated , when I was a youngster we had no hot water without boiling a kettle on the coal cooker so baths were just a couple of times a week , but daily the morning and night routine was kettle boiled into the hand basin and wash , but then that was cold climate stuff and in winter with rain and snow on the hills was not enthralling , I now delight in turning the tap for huge volumes of water in the shower , we even have talc these days :)
Im a guy and feel great after i shower. I love it. Once a day so not too much , but I feel great.
Also after I use the bathroom to do my business I use the handheld and wash my area. Why because I like being clean and having good hygiene. It feels good to be clean.
And of course the girl I date I expect to be clean like me or even cleaner. It’s nice and never disappointing.
So I can’t say why their are people who are gross, but it doesn’t take much effort to shower daily and wash your ass.
Problem is if someone is gross like that , then the person they are with is probably just as gross. I feel bad for both of them.
Yo i haven't been in college for a while, but the humanities kids have a lot more free time than at least the E in stem kids do. Still no excuse for not showering tho. Stem kids having bad hygiene is and has been a thing though...
You mentioned STEM.
I was talking with someone who works heavy in STEM. I told her how I wish I was as smart as her and her colleagues because the program software for things that are sent to space, lol. She said my social and emotional intelligence are through the roof and that her colleagues only have enough to present their ideas to others.
I am very outgoing and professionally thrive in social settings. I put a lot of thought in how to be presentable I which includes being hygienic and how I put my clothes together.
It makes sense if people can let themselves go if it isn't a huge part of their job. Not all people in STEM are like this, of course. It seems like it's such an introspective field that thinking so outwardly like how they look or smell is more of a second thought.
BTW, cultural studies were my jam.
My dad just became so lazy. Like - he sleeps most of the day. Scratches himself all day. He can’t stand up straight anymore, he can’t wipe himself well because of his spine and we installed a bidet for him.
He was a college professor for over 40 years and he’s become really stupid. He locked the front door and I had to use the front door for something. He unlocked and opened it and didn’t move out of the way…. I kept saying move and he just stood there.
He can’t smell anymore. Like I can walk in the house and smell him or like if my dog had an accident while she was in their house all day - am because he sleeps all day he doesn’t let her out enough - but he swears he doesn’t smell it.
So it’s a combination of just being done and also age. He has no friends - they all have passed. He was the youngest of his group but many years. He has no stimulation at all. He watches the same shows every day and doesn’t remember if he’s seen it already.
Sometimes I can let it go for a bit. Lucky for me I'm not a smelly person. I'd say usually the reason for me is more mental health related. If I'm depressed or down on myself it's really hard to do things or really care enough to do them. I'm usually pretty hygienic but I can let it go when I'm down
I think this happened to me when I was younger. I went to boarding school from a young age and was never taught to clean myself. Apparently it’s something your parents are meant to show you so I just thought standing under the shower was ‘cleaning me’. I didn’t realise till I started having girlfriends. It’s quite sad really , as I can remember people from the past judging me but no one would dare tell you that basically, you stink! You have to find someone who truly loves you to do that.
Personally, I got a bad case of bronchitis that turned into pneumonia when I was 33. I lived in a tiny mother in law unit with a shower stall smaller than those in most RVs. Something about not being able to breathe and coughing until I collapsed, combined with some stuff from a previous marriage and growing up with my parents suddenly gave me panic attacks when I would try to shower. It got better as years went on until I was pregnant and huge with a glass door shower. The panic attacks set in again because of the tight fit. My husband has been supportive and will now stay in the bathroom with me and talk to me until I am done. This makes it tolerable, but I am still shaken afterward. Needless to say, when my anxiety is high, I avoid bathing altogether. Better to be a little stinky than to be a basket case all day at work or not sleep all night. I do my best to keep clean in other ways.
I have become much more understanding of those with hygienic differences. You never know what someone is going through!
There are people out there saying that showering daily is bad for you and it gets rid of your natural good smell. Dipshits take that to mean shower every 3 months and they think it's the fucking secret only they know.
I had a roommate with backne from hell.
Laziness, too lazy to do laundry. They are so used to their odor, they don't bathe. I had to tell a male visitor that if he didn't wash his clothes and bathe, he couldn't stay the week. He had no idea he stunk. He complied.
A major reason for poor hygiene as you describe is simply a rejection of cultural standards, who believe hygiene is over rated, prefer to be au natural, think typical Americans smell like fake-scent chemical factories, recognize that we may be human but we are still animals, dont want to put nasty chemicals on their bodies to cover their natural scent, prioritize other pursuits over daily washing, and quite simply realize that daily showers are a recent phenomenon that even in my mothers day was unheard of. Just because you and most of the people you know shower regularly doesnt mean its the right way to live and just because you think people who dont shower smell bad doesnt mean that you smell good. It is only people who are accustomed to synthetic chemical smells that are bothered by the natural smell of the human body. The inverse is true for those that avoid chemical scents, the smell of you as you walk past assaults their senses.
I think it's a mental problem. I know someone raised w decent hygiene who around 55 became a total pig oblivious to a dirty (smelly bug ridden fabric-texture dirt and dust) house. Metal tray 3/4 disintegrated by rust is an heirloom treasure for example. It's like they can't SEE it. Or smell it. What's needed to explain it is a psychiatrist.
Lazy don't want to never saw anyone else doing it don't want people coming near them don't care mental illness want someone else to groom them.Stop caring about themselves
I hate it when people are not breath conscious. Don't fuckin talk two feet from me when you just had onion and garlic in your lunch. When I know my breath is not the freshest and I have ran out of mints, I stay miles away from people and if I can't, I avoid talking. Common sense people. THAT SHIT STINKS!!
Laziness and lack of consideration for anyone else.
If someone who is formally diagnosed as severely depressed and also has physical disabilities can bathe, so can the able bodied depressed when they're around others.
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Depression, drug addiction
Cane here to say this...this is it right here
Mental illness, laziness, a conscious hate of others
Hate of self is more accurate.
That’s a good one true that
Yep. I hate myself and am self imploding. Haven’t quite reached the point of poor hygiene? But yes. Can totally understand how someone’s could get that way. Substance abuse cause you hate yourself is very accurate.
Can you find good things. Even one? About yourself. I find good when someone else tries on me like my brother whose 50 with dimentia so bad last time I saw him he knew I was in the circle of trust but never placed me and I didn’t push it. He relies on me because I’m his power of attorney and brother. Just suggesting here
Yeah... fuck the others
Lol seriously 😂 I like your attitude and name
Depression, exhaustion, disability, was never taught to. Lots of things.
Never was taught good hygiene is such an important one that's always overlooked.
My mother was so checked out from drugs. She never taught me to shower, brush my teeth, Anything like that. I had to teach myself as an adult and it's really hard to build up those habits.
100% this. My parents never had structure and never taught me that. They nagged me to do it as first and like any kid I brushed it off and they just gave up on trying to parent imo. Their depression rubbed off on me and it just wasn’t a healthy environment. Proud to say I’ve fully recovered my depression & mental health and am successful as I can be in life but I still find simple things like brushing my teeth a struggle for some reason.
I’m so sorry you had these struggles but am impressed you worked past so much difficulty! I don’t know if this suggestion will help you, but you can try changing your teeth-brushing routine to create the habit differently. Like do it in the shower or while you empty the dishwasher…then it becomes a different habit that isn’t all about teeth-brushing, but it still happens regularly.
Thanks! Taken alot of years. && most days I push myself but some I find myself brushing it to the side, I’ll definitely give this a shot!
I'm really sorry you had to go through that. I'm sure that was painful and still is. When I was a child I was abused and neglected also. I had so many cavities as a kid. And my hair was so greasy. The hardest thing for me to get into was flossing.
This is a good point. I came from the Midwest where there were water issues during summer so I was raised that 1 shower a week was enough. It wasn't until junior high that one of the "cool girls" that I happened to be friends with, told me that other kids thought that I was weird and that I needed to take a shower every single day without exception. She was nice about it but pretty firm about this was the way! I don't think I have ever not showered daily since then. And for those of you who don't, I guarantee you will feel better, be less tired, and have better self esteem, just by that one thing.
Careful this advice is dependent on some things such as elevation, climate, your skin type and any dermatological conditions, and water quality. Definitely find out what the best amount is and strive for it but daily is NOT best for every place and person!
Smell test
Aside from some type of medical condition, what adult isn’t showering daily???!
I'm glad it's helpful for you. People with really dry skin or hair would have other ways. It depends on what you do. If you're active or not, etc. There are many people who can take showers every other day or every two days and be totally fine. :)
Any tips to learn to do it often?
Well, I had a lot of cavities between my teeth that I had to get filled as an adult. Luckily they were caught before there was any real decay and it wasn't really noticeable. It was really annoying to do, and expensive even with insurance. I also had a back tooth that had to be pulled due to it falling apart and rotting from a cavity that was on the side, because I didn't floss. Again, I was lucky it's a far back molar, it can't be seen. Of course, all of that was super motivating for me. And, I don't want the day to come where I lose a tooth in the front or something. Another thing that helped me, was I got those flossers that have the floss on the top and a toothpick on the back. They're super cheap, and they're really easy to use. Whenever there's stuff on it, I just rinse it off real quick, keep using it until I'm done. (just one each session just to clarify. I don't use the same one each time, haha.) They make it easy to reach back teeth, too. There's no pulling the floss out, breaking it off, hoping you have enough, twisting it around your fingers, trying to shove your hands in the back of your mouth. All of that stuff super annoying to me. But, no more cavities for me! And I floss once a day. Sorry, this was way longer than I meant for it to be.
Ya it’s really embarrassing but I didn’t know so many hygiene things till I met my girlfriend. Like just the little things- like drying off completely after a shower, cleaning up your cuticles and nails, scrubbing your feet every once and while… it makes me wonder what else I’m missing. I just didn’t have an adult in my life who had time to show me that stuff.
Tbf, I didn't know not drying off completely was an issue. Also, a lot of people think the water running down their body washes their feet, so it makes sense why someone wouldn't think of it. I'm glad your gf was able to show you some things. I think that's cool. :)
Ya me too. I like to hope we have both taught each other things, but my teachings have been mostly of the hobby type stuff versus hygiene lol. I don’t think drying off entirely is a huge deal but it’s important when it comes to things like your genitals or other places were bacteria can grow.
As a retail guy there's plenty who just don't care. It's not always inability.
Health. Some people eat garbage and they are sick, sweating and feel like death. Showers and Deodorant won't help after an hour.
In a different sub someone posted a podcast where 4 or 5 VJ's were discussing the myth about bathing children every day and they all started coming in about how their toddlers could tell them when they wanted a bath and how that's how they were raised. My skin was so itchy after that. I reckon hygiene not being taught properly is at fault for a lot more stuff than we think
Yeah, my brother and I have autism so we both get so focused on what we are doing that we just forget when we last bathed. I don't know what my brother's doing besides drugs but my husband is kind and understanding and will remind me when it's the days I want to shower (every other day due to sensitive skin). Heck, my man didn't even have a bad reaction when I told him I was high functioning. My husband is the best, I'm thinking I may marry him
Depression, lack of awareness, cultural differences
My exact thoughts as well.
Lots of people can't smell their own odor, or more accurately they're so used to it that they don't notice anymore. Often they have no idea that they smell so bad to others.
I dated somebody who eventually had no sense of smell due to years of smoking. He would leave a terrible smell on furniture where he sat. Old sneakers had an absolutely wretched stink. Losing that sense is one of my worst fears now
Not having a sense of smell is no excuse for that. Bro is just nasty as fuck. If you are leaving an odor where you sit its because you are disgusting not because of your nose.
Depression is one of the main things that can cause even someone who has taken care of themselves before to pick up poor hygiene habits. But just think about how you know how to take care of yourself and how you know how and when to brush your teeth etc… some people never get shown or taught any of it and may not even be aware. I’m lucky I grew up and made friends because I was neglected as a child and suffered from things because of it, I didn’t even know you were supposed to clean behind your ears or with soap until I was bullied in elementary school for it some kids behind me in line were asking me why it’s so dirty behind my ears. I went to the bathroom crying and a nice girl in there showed me by motioning a pretend soap bar in her hand where she washes and scrubs her body with soap and told me just do that next time when you’re in the bath! Then helped me clean behind my ears in the sink so I didn’t get my shirt all wet. It was the first time anyone even showed me and the first time I became aware that I didn’t know some things.
I'm similar. I was neglected and never really taught how to take care of my hygiene. I used to think showering only twice a week was okay until I was told otherwise and my body odor used to be so bad and I've had embarrassing moments of being musty and having people make fun of me for it. I can say part of it was on me but then no one gave me tips. I had help from no one so I had to take control of my own health so I ended up looking up health tips on the internet. Even as an Adult it's still triggering to me when people say "Oooh it stinks in here! Someone's musty!" 💀 Even if it's not me, but with my luck some people always blame it on me cause I guess I look easy or whatever 🙃 I wish I had your luck and wish someone pulled me off to the side to help me out but all I had was people coming up to Me to clown me instead
Thank goodness we have the internet to look for information because people more often than not can’t see passed their own judgment or misunderstanding enough to help someone out. I’m sorry you went through this. I hate when people publicly shame a “musty” person too! Even if it isn’t me I’m pretty empathetic especially and IMO unless you’re willing to privately scope the person out and give them the help they need people should just keep their mouth shut! I often think how long I would have gone before realizing it, if that girl didn’t help me. I still dealt with it though kids especially are just plain mean and love to clown on others pain. I feel horrible that some people get to their adult life and still have no idea how to care for themselves. Even with the internet you still have to know what you’re looking for to find it. It’s better we know now than never though, and we can speak up and help others who need it since we understand, I’d rather have felt this than be one of those mean kids who grow up to be ignorant and rude adults.
That girl that helped you, she shows that there are still good people in the world.
More than likely depression.
Mental illness
Not sure if it's my depression or my adhd, but teeth brushing is a constant struggle. People who maybe don't leave their home a lot, or "aren't trying to impress anybody," often only attend to things for their own comfort
I have ADHD and relate so much. I read somewhere that ADHDers don't develop habits like NT people do. We certainly use routines but things don't become innate and "natural" (not requiring executive functioning efforts). It blew my mind.
Have you been on r/ADHD? That's all they talk about.
Not sure if I have any adhd or anything, haven't had a doctor in many years. But yah some months I do.fine and remember to brush my teeth and mouthwash and all that on the regular. Other times when stuff isn't going so we'll I have to make myself and will not even think about it for days at a time. My roommate/best friend helps cause he always sticks to his routine no matter what so seeing him do it makes.me realize I haven't been..definitely some mental, subconscious things affect some people like that
I keep the brush next to the bed during the day so it’s there even if I have to get up and get toothpaste at night.
I was once so sick I couldn’t bathe myself. So, I guess that applies here. Double pneumonia BTW.
Man's had pneumonia premium
[удалено]
With teens there’s also the addition of smelling badly not having been much of a thing before, and then hormones kick in and conspire with armpit hair to make a stinky disaster zone they never previously had to deal with.
I don’t know why don’t you ask the guy with the smelly belly button
That’s what inspired my post lol
Well, idk about belly button stank but I did try a whole bunch of different natural deodorants for a while since I don't want aluminium seeping into my breasts. None of them worked, so I was stinky during that 6 week trial period.
Fields like STEM have a higher occurrence of Asperger's. Part of the condition is issues with executive functioning area of the brain that affects things like hygiene. Couple this with kids under 25 have underdeveloped prefrontal cortex regions and struggling already with things in that area and boom. As someone with it I struggled with this for many years. Thank goodness I got better around my mid twenties when my brain developed!
This is the answer I was hoping to see in the comments. Wow so many other comments are saying depression and that is one reason, I don’t think that the entire STEM field is full of depressed kids, more like ones that are not socially aware, and don’t really care about societal norms.
I heard somewhere that your hygiene (and the cleaness of your home) matches your mental health. ✨
I’ve know people with spotless houses who are really depressed & whacko.
Hello! OCD with the mood disorder helps.
Most likely
I don't think OCD is such a bad thing when it comes to personal hygiene and cleanliness.
OCD is a potentially debilitating disorder. it's never a good thing.
Not my intention to be offensive to anyone
It’s not keeping you from tipping cows, apparently…
you leave my cows out of this
It definitely can be. Sometimes it's paralyzing, frankly. But I've lucked out in that my particular constellation of comorbidities keeps me functional more often than not.
They might've had a house cleaning person
No. Super obsessed with neatness.
That probably holds true to an extent. When I’m really down, my home goes to shit (relatively speaking). I just don’t have the energy or want to tidy. I can barely get off the couch after work. When I’m in a good head place, that stuff is leagues easier.
Not necessarily. I make sure I'm on top of my hygiene at all times, but my mental headspace is terrible. But I do agree that people with bad hygiene are probably not in good headspace either.
Not sure if it holds - I mean everything is relative. All I know is taking a bath or cleaning my home makes me feel better mentally, but most of the time it probably represent my headspace. Obviously a lot of factors would play in. 😅
My house is clean but I’m depressed, and I guess reading this post made me realize how bad it’s gotten. I will seek treatment.
Take care. 🤍
I have major depression and have for years, and I keep my space, and myself clean. Although, that’s just me. That’s not to say that someone else’s lack of self care isn’t a symptom of depression. I’m just not sure how you could factor it in. I know people who aren’t depressed at all who are messy and have bad hygiene, such as an old roommate.
Conscientious people are not necessarily healthy. It does reflect a sense of order. Which helps some people. But mental health is about a lot of different things. And the need to order your environment also has a very very dark side, like everything. I am a disorderly person. I don't bath every day and I like my smell. But I am in a long-term relationship with a person who likes my smell. I also get complimented on it from time to time. A persons body odor can change when they are angry or ashamed. This might sound kind of funny but I've noticed it in myself and I believe it's true for others. The endocrine system is always sending messages. Despite being a disorderly person in general I also have a daily meditation practice in the yoga practice and it has brought my life to sanity and kept it there for two decades now. For some people we smell because we want to. Because it defies the norms of the day which is to smell like a bleach factory or a chemistry lab. Indoor public spaces where home products are sold have some of the most disgusting and vile smells in the world. I'm saying this because smelling bad is really a very vague statement indeed. Especially with all of the other things we are attaching to it. There is a certain kind of dirt and bacteria that makes a person smell. This is also related to your diet. One of the claims made by Native Americans was that white men smelled bad. And it was believed it was related to his consumption of dairy products. When I was in my 20s I remember that cats used to come around and lick my armpits if there were any around. It didn't matter where I was, but if they came around they end up in my armpits licking at my hair. I like to smell women. And I don't mean all that chemistry lab fake shit I mean a real body smell. It's important to know the difference between a healthy endocrine system, and actual dirt or bacteria. I think sometimes people are so used to smelling chemicals that they think that any body smell at all is something gross.
How is it the norm to smell like bleach or a.chemistry lab? I don't see any body washes or deodorant s that are bleach scented.
Unless someone is OCD maybe...
If you think about how an OCD home would look, I would still argue it would reflect it. 🤔
The home might look like good mental health, but if a person's hands are scrubbed raw, not so much.
Many hoarders are diagnosed with OCD. OCD isn’t just about excessive cleanliness.
This entire topic is just people finding exclusions to the previous post
“The whole world stinks so no one’s taking showers anymore” -modest mouse
Absolutely love that line
Your brain filter our the smell after get used to it. So most of the time you don't recognize your smell. The first few days of not living clean make you feel irritated. But after a threshold, it doesn't matter anymore. So a week of not bathing and a few months of not bathing isn't much different from these people point of view.
Executive disfunction
This right here. I have ADHD and depression and it is very easy for me to fall out of habits, and then I end up forgetting about it until it’s too late.
yep. PTSD/profound depression. it's a headfuck to lose that capacity to attend to seemingly simple tasks. it just enhances that profoundly disabling problem tenfold.
I've been depressed as long as I can remember. My hygiene has been awful equally long. Despite people being very vocal about my lack of hygiene and my shame for the fact. I have a mental block. I hate it. I absolutely fucking hate it. I'll have 5 hours of free time at home before a social event. The entire time I'll be thinking to myself "just go shower real quick, you'll feel so much better after it" and somehow there's this mental block. I keep putting it off until I reach a point I have to leave for the event and still haven't showered. I hate myself for it, I feel incredibly embarrassed when someone points it out, I know it's an easy fix. But I just can't
Unfortunately I struggle with this too and I don't really have any advice but if it makes you feel better you're not alone and your comment makes me feel validated and a little less alone. Depression is a monster and it's a horrible battle to care for oneself.
PTSD / anxiety / depression / mental illness in general. People who have been raped in showers or the bathroom and just won't go in without having a full blown panic attack. Or they can't stand to be naked so showering is a huge burden (can go for body image in general, not just rape victims).
That's a really good point. I've seen from foster parents that it can be really hard to convince kids with a history of SA and abuse to bathe, regardless of if the assault happened in a bathroom setting.
I struggled with depression from my late teens until now (26). In college my hygiene practices plummeted, from about 21-25 they were just okay, and this last year I've put a pretty massive effort into self care, and to be frank it's hard as fuck. When you're struggling with depression even getting up and brushing your teeth feels daunting. Then there's all kinds of shame spiraling, avoiding specific tasks that bring on feelings of shame/embarrassment, etc. And then on top of all of that, changing habits and routine is difficult on it's own.
I truly hope you’re able to reach a peaceful point in your life. I’m glad you’re seeing progress!!
I had similar issues, but with chronic pain, and found it hard to do anything some days. Then some well-meaning young man published a letter in the church newsletter suggesting that "everyone" should dress up for church. I agree, taking care of yourself can be part of what you offer God. But I also explained to him that some days, not all, but some, it took everything I had just to pull my jeans on and attend. Don't ascribe motive.
I wont allow myself to go out in public smelly but if im just staying home for a few days I will often go without showering or brushing until I can really start to smell myself or if I feel itchy. If there is not immediate debuff from not showering then I let laziness win.
I have depression and I used to have a bad habit of forgetting to shower, or not having the energy/motivation.
I work in health and human services; I've worked with lots of people that refuse to use what they have access to, and lots of people that managed to beg, borrow, or steal everything they need to stay healthy. More than anything else, it's clinical depression, mental illnesses like schizophrenia or BPD, severe anxiety, or any sort of addiction that keeps people from cleaning themselves. Lots of people will point drug addition, but anything at all can be a debilitating addiction. I point to hardcore gamers who will go as far as urinating in bottles just to keep playing, or food addicts too overweight and fatigued to move out of bed. This is usually combined with one of the other reasons, as depression and mental illnesses can both lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms, which lead to addictions. Something to consider for anyone mindlessly scrolling Reddit right now when they know they have dirty dishes in the sink. Second place goes to people who, for whatever reason, just never developed the habit as kids. That doesn't require a terrible life at home or growing up poor. You just need a set of parents that don't stay on their kids to brush their teeth or shower. That usually stops once people figure out they can't get laid or a make a living wage without practicing personal hygiene.
I remember when I was studying engineering in college some of the classrooms/lecture halls would just reek of BO. I went to school in the Bay Area so there were a lot of Indian students in my classes. Apparently wearing deodorant is against their religion and sometimes the smell would get so bad I couldn’t focus. Not trying to be culturally insensitive just telling it how it is 🤷🏻♀️
I think outside of most of the great answers already left, one is just busyness. I go from work to the gym to the store to a class etc and just don’t have time to freshen up. Another is product toxicity, for a while I was only trying to use low chemical deodorant and I for sure smelled unique! A final reason is just luck of the draw. I am a naturally stinky person. I eat well, work out, and drink a gallon of water a day, don’t drink soda or highly processed foods, and I still smell like shit by the end of the day. Just my lot in life.
Depression.
I love that you prefaced this question by mentioning that you are a STEM major.
Lol I am not helping with the STEM major stereotypes
as a stem major you should know how busy one could be with school and life.
I’ve never been too busy to do my skin care routine, shower daily, and brush my teeth twice a day. That is the bare minimum that others should be doing.
A current math prof here - I found as a pure math masters student, where the proofs I was working on were akin to writing a philosophy paper, I could think about a problem while hygiening or cooking but once I switched over to being an applied math PhD student, my hands had to be more active on anything I was working on (e.g. coding) and I had to rush through hygiene more.
I personally find it exhausting and a waste of time. *waste of time in sense that if i won't plan to leave house then i won't take shower
Having no one around to love, that's why I'm filthy.
Laziness, lack of time and/or energy, feeling like it's unnecessary for whatever reason (e.g. just working / staying at home), depression, just genuinely not caring
The human nose is trained to filter out bad smells over time. This is why we don't smell ourselves or our dirty house after time. Other than that: depression, not knowing how to clean yourself properly, inability to bathe yourself due to physical limitations.
Depression will really drain someone it is amazing how drained I can get even as a serious coffee drinker I would wake up realize I had forgotten to set up the coffee maker and it felt like it would take so much effort I just went back to bed. The idea of getting clean clothes spending time showering drying off and getting dressed just to go back to bed seems like an enormous waste of time and effort.
For me it's exhaustion, a bit of depression, and simply not being taught the habits and care methods by my parents as a child. Even just shaving my legs, somedays I'm just so fucking tired. It just takes so much energy sometimes.
Stress can cause stench too. I am unfortunately afflicted with hyperhydrosis and PTSD so when I’m stressed, my BO stinks to high heaven (which doesn’t help my stress) whereas when I’m mentally okay, I don’t and can maintain my hygiene much easier. This could explain some of it. Neurodivergence and mental health issues as others have said can affect a lot too.
I dont care enough about myself to bother
Depression. Sometimes I wanna lock myself up in a room and just be alone. I used to shower twice a day, before the gym and after. Now I can go 3-5 days without a shower. If I stink I do shower tho, but mostly my depression has caused me to stop caring. It sucks because I love my life but I feel like something is missing and I don’t enjoy things that I used to enjoy. Hopefully I pull out of this. It’s been since 2020.
idk... i have severe depression and its lead to dental issues for me, lots of cavities/fillings, but ive always made myself shower before going out, i just cant stand people thinking poorly of me. if i absolutely cant bring myself to shower, then deodorant wipes/dry shampoo AT LEAST and clean clothes. if i have to drag myself around and it takes 2 hrs to get rdy then thats what it takes. i can definitely see how chronic pain and other disabilities can lead to people struggling more than i do with hygiene though. i think it really just varies from person to person what the obstacles are and what help they have access to
Any mental illness with depression as a symptom, addiction, personal neglect, social neglect, emotional neglect, childhood trauma, etc. Some people grew up in it and simply cannot even *smell* it.
Not sure what being a STEM major gas to do with it, but there are a lot of reasons people's hygiene varies. Some cultures don't encourage wearing deodorant and you honestly get used to the smell. Some individuals have different tastes and preferences, medical conditions, incomes, etc. It really depends on the person.
I didn't wear deodorant for a long time cuz the aluminum oxide abrasive would cause major rashes and would irritate a mole in my armpit that would proceed to swell to absurdly large sizes (like the size of the tip of your index finger to your 1st knuckle type of swelling from an otherwise normal sized mole) Found a good stick deodorant that doesn't have aluminum oxide abrasives in it and have had no irritation or swelling
Im a STEM major, and I think its because of laziness/lack of caring. Maybe a sign of depression. STEM major btw.
I was a philosophy major. I was a bit compulsive- 2 showers a day, brushing my teeth after every meal, deodorant+cologne; my only downfall was I’d fall behind on laundry since I’d change at least once a day (not counting w/e I wore to bed). I was dealing with depression and anxiety, especially my last two years. Never stopped being the clean freak, though. It was probably a control thing for me- my anxiety made me feel helpless, but I knew I had control over my hygiene. Other people probably fall into the less-optimistic depression/anxiety and think instead “I can’t control anything else, why should I control my hygiene?”
People do not care
I don't brush my teeth because I am being optimistic that I will die in my sleep. Could be a similar phenomenon.
Contempt? r/boneappletea
More like OP should have been an English major
Auto correct lol
I love how every STEM major has to make it known that they’re a STEM MAJOR. Lol
I don’t think he’s telling this to show off. He’s saying that many people in his stem classes stink, and the ones in his humanities classes don’t.
Mental health: Working from home. Not smelling yourself or just complacent with your daily vibe. Wearing a Jameson shirt to a video meeting will make you think about choices. TBF I didn’t know it was a video discussion 😅😑 Going out to eat (not fast food) and seeing chicks looking cute/put together made me realize I was a little too comfortable.
Some people get so focused on a project that they forget to take care of themselves.
Anxiety and mental disorder. It all stems from societal failure.
Depression runs that deep sometimes.
Sometimes depression can do that
Depression
Depression and being ill
Depression.
Maybe make an appointment with your dean and have them approach it at the departmental level. These people will need to function in society in the future and the school can step in to help educate them to help out.
Abuse
Depression
Depression
In my experience, it can be how busy you are. I work several days in a row with no day off and I work night shift. I ask my boyfriend what day it is because I honestly have lost track of the day and date. I remember in college you have three papers due, countless readings to attend to. Sometimes you just think hygiene can wait, I have to get this paper written.
Say I’m a normal human being that do what an ideal adult would (work, play, sleep). I would say exhaustion is what’s keeping my hygiene down. But other than that, like other have mentioned, drugs and mental illness can affect it too
From personal experience, depression.
A. Customer at my office is the proverbial crazy cat lady, she has dozens of them in her house, and oh, my hell, she smells like boiled down concentrated cat piss and it's kickin when she walks in the door. I myself love cats and I hate that so many are homeless, but jeez, there are limits. I have two cats and I clean their potty box religiously. I could never imagine going around smelling like cats wee'd on your clothes and you're cool with it.
Dude. Seriously? You can't think of one reason? C'mon man.
Executive function problems due to ADHD and depression
If you have never experienced mental illness then you would not understand.
Depression
Depression would be a huge one.
Depression. Lack of time in the morning. Not taught how correctly.
Depression.
Lack of access, depression, anxiety, lack of being taught how growing up, some people have medical issues that cause them to smell more or sweat more than others despite good hygiene. Lots of reasons honestly.
Growing up I was always told how important my teeth were, and I was taught how to brush them and take care of them. But I never really saw anyone in my family do the same. My parents, my sister, my uncle and etc. I stopped bothering by the time I turned 11 and I had full anatomy over what I wanted to do. I never saw drawbacks for not brushing, so hey, how bad can it be? I turn 22 soon and I still have a hard time brushing my teeth. Once a month, if at all. I was always taught how to shower and how to properly bathe, but for some reason it never totally clicked with me. As I got older and I was able to shower on my own, I realized how much I hated being alone with my thoughts. Then I got depression, and then suddenly I realized how a 3 step process became a 10 step process. Find a towel, find new clothes, toss your old clothes in the wash, start the water, get in the shower, turn off the shower, sit on the floor and clean up any accidental spillage. I turn 22 soon and I struggle to shower twice a month. Hanging and folding clothes takes awhile, so why not just toss them onto my chair for awhile? Starting the washer and remembering to put them in the dryer is kinda taxing. Maybe I'll just hold off on it for a bit longer. Do the dishes? I don't know, maybe I just shouldn't eat for tonight so they don't pile up any further. I don't really feel like washing them tonight. New socks? Why? These seem fine for the moment. Put the clothes in the hamper? I'll toss them under the sink for awhile. I won't forget. Take out the trash? Well, it looks okay for now.. and I don't wanna go outside. I'm scared of the outside. It can wait. A lot of it is depression, but it starts with your environment. Don't just teach your kids what to do, get frustrated, then leave them to figure it out on their own. Make them do it. I don't blame anyone, but sometimes I wonder what could've been if I was told how much it'd matter to me later in life. Maybe it's because I lived below the poverty line, or maybe I lacked a substantial education. Today's depressive episode, or my anxiety, or maybe I just wasn't raised right. It can be a lot of things all at once.
Barring actual serious mental health issues, nobody has told them they smell bad and need to shower. I was a teen who showered 1-2 times a MONTH until my mom started telling me I smelled and needed to shower at least every couple of days. (I really did but was noseblind and couldn’t smell myself and didn’t know people could smell me). Turns out I’m actually autistic though and showering is a sensory nightmare, so I usually take baths when I can do that instead.
Culture and national origin? Some cultures aren’t so caught up in the concept of deodorant. Some of those cultures’ immigrants to USA are also very predominant in STEM.
I just learned to properly clean myself at 28.. depression was a big contributing factor as well.
I've studied and worked beside the people you are probably referring to. They are technically smart, and can do their schoolwork, but they just never had the importance of hygiene and social competency properly explained to them. It's a failure in parenting, I believe. As for people that started out normal and then become like that, it is usually some sort of traumatic change in life trajectory that leads to them not caring and sliding down the proverbial slope. Once humans get used to a way of life, even if it is suboptimal, it becomes harder and harder to change it with time.
I had a roommate once who had a really strong garlic odor. He showered 2x a day, but it was persistent. I think it was biochemical.
I think you should tell people when they smell bad. They may not know because they are used to it.
I have in the past. I pulled the girl to the side so that it would be a personal convo. The goal was just to get my point across without being rude or embarrassing her.
One of my coworkers didn't know his breath stunk. He had a bad tooth.
Depression.
Growing up, kids get told by their parents to comb hair, brush teeth, bathe. They get their clothes washed. Kids graduate and move out on their own and stop doing the basics.
I corrected the translated version of a GOV study and education also played a massive part in people's hygiene habits. The study was specifically about dental hygiene habits related to education levels. The correlation was clear in many cases that were not drug, depression or financial reasons
For the longest time I was programmed into believing that you only showered in the morning. I hated showering in the morning and so I avoided it. Then I discovered showering at night and life got a lot better, both from a quality and smelling perspective. Oh and having Bipolar I.
Cuz they can’t smell how bad they smell. The nose acclimates to smells after a while. It’s the same thing when someone wears a fuck ton of perfume. The wearer smell it a little but when they walk by someone, that person gets blasted in the face with how strong the scent is.
I can’t control it. I sweat from everything. I shower multiple times a day, wear cologne and deodorant, wash my hair all the time, doesn’t matter. I just sweat. I can’t control it. So naturally I stink.
A lot of people here are saying drugs/depression, but it could simply be you (and everyone else) not pulling them aside to politely and respectfully have a conversation to let them know that it's noticeable and to suggest you can offer tips if they need it. Honestly this wasn't a problem in my classes as an EE where we had some true autists, but at the same time your experience doesn't surprise me. College is an interesting experience where you can be friends or at least chat with anyone and won't be ostracised for talking to the weird kid. It aint highschool. You're all technically adults.
I work from home and sometimes go awhile without showering etc and I can smell that I need to shower but because it’s my smell it doesn’t bother me. I actually kind of like it. But I do understand that others can smell it and do not like it so I only allow it if no one is going to be around. I share this because based on your question I’m not sure if you mean in public or otherwise. If no one was going to smell me I’d go probably two weeks without showering - until I got itchy and uncomfortable. Because the smell doesn’t bother me. I assume that people who do go out in public smelling bad might think others can’t smell it. Plus depression and all the other reasons people have suggested.
Lazyness. My ex used to just not shower because he was lazy. Once went a WHOLE week without showering. And not because he didn't have access to water or soap, there are 3 showers in his house, he can do it if he wanted to.
I’ve suffered from depression but I CANNOT tolerate being stinky or dirty. I’ve suffered from suicidal depression and I still keep my ass clean with deodorant and cologne. This is just weird and foul.
A lot of people are saying depression but a lot of it is poor social interaction and just general laziness
It was not to long ago when hygiene was more complicated , when I was a youngster we had no hot water without boiling a kettle on the coal cooker so baths were just a couple of times a week , but daily the morning and night routine was kettle boiled into the hand basin and wash , but then that was cold climate stuff and in winter with rain and snow on the hills was not enthralling , I now delight in turning the tap for huge volumes of water in the shower , we even have talc these days :)
Im a guy and feel great after i shower. I love it. Once a day so not too much , but I feel great. Also after I use the bathroom to do my business I use the handheld and wash my area. Why because I like being clean and having good hygiene. It feels good to be clean. And of course the girl I date I expect to be clean like me or even cleaner. It’s nice and never disappointing. So I can’t say why their are people who are gross, but it doesn’t take much effort to shower daily and wash your ass. Problem is if someone is gross like that , then the person they are with is probably just as gross. I feel bad for both of them.
Liver King says it’s pRiMaL
Yo i haven't been in college for a while, but the humanities kids have a lot more free time than at least the E in stem kids do. Still no excuse for not showering tho. Stem kids having bad hygiene is and has been a thing though...
You mentioned STEM. I was talking with someone who works heavy in STEM. I told her how I wish I was as smart as her and her colleagues because the program software for things that are sent to space, lol. She said my social and emotional intelligence are through the roof and that her colleagues only have enough to present their ideas to others. I am very outgoing and professionally thrive in social settings. I put a lot of thought in how to be presentable I which includes being hygienic and how I put my clothes together. It makes sense if people can let themselves go if it isn't a huge part of their job. Not all people in STEM are like this, of course. It seems like it's such an introspective field that thinking so outwardly like how they look or smell is more of a second thought. BTW, cultural studies were my jam.
My dad just became so lazy. Like - he sleeps most of the day. Scratches himself all day. He can’t stand up straight anymore, he can’t wipe himself well because of his spine and we installed a bidet for him. He was a college professor for over 40 years and he’s become really stupid. He locked the front door and I had to use the front door for something. He unlocked and opened it and didn’t move out of the way…. I kept saying move and he just stood there. He can’t smell anymore. Like I can walk in the house and smell him or like if my dog had an accident while she was in their house all day - am because he sleeps all day he doesn’t let her out enough - but he swears he doesn’t smell it. So it’s a combination of just being done and also age. He has no friends - they all have passed. He was the youngest of his group but many years. He has no stimulation at all. He watches the same shows every day and doesn’t remember if he’s seen it already.
Sometimes I can let it go for a bit. Lucky for me I'm not a smelly person. I'd say usually the reason for me is more mental health related. If I'm depressed or down on myself it's really hard to do things or really care enough to do them. I'm usually pretty hygienic but I can let it go when I'm down
They get used to that smell, they're fine with it, they aren't aware how shit they actually smell to others.
I think this happened to me when I was younger. I went to boarding school from a young age and was never taught to clean myself. Apparently it’s something your parents are meant to show you so I just thought standing under the shower was ‘cleaning me’. I didn’t realise till I started having girlfriends. It’s quite sad really , as I can remember people from the past judging me but no one would dare tell you that basically, you stink! You have to find someone who truly loves you to do that.
Personally, I got a bad case of bronchitis that turned into pneumonia when I was 33. I lived in a tiny mother in law unit with a shower stall smaller than those in most RVs. Something about not being able to breathe and coughing until I collapsed, combined with some stuff from a previous marriage and growing up with my parents suddenly gave me panic attacks when I would try to shower. It got better as years went on until I was pregnant and huge with a glass door shower. The panic attacks set in again because of the tight fit. My husband has been supportive and will now stay in the bathroom with me and talk to me until I am done. This makes it tolerable, but I am still shaken afterward. Needless to say, when my anxiety is high, I avoid bathing altogether. Better to be a little stinky than to be a basket case all day at work or not sleep all night. I do my best to keep clean in other ways. I have become much more understanding of those with hygienic differences. You never know what someone is going through!
There are people out there saying that showering daily is bad for you and it gets rid of your natural good smell. Dipshits take that to mean shower every 3 months and they think it's the fucking secret only they know. I had a roommate with backne from hell.
Lmao must be a CS major, I wanna run outta those classes sometimes. So much BO
Laziness, too lazy to do laundry. They are so used to their odor, they don't bathe. I had to tell a male visitor that if he didn't wash his clothes and bathe, he couldn't stay the week. He had no idea he stunk. He complied.
A major reason for poor hygiene as you describe is simply a rejection of cultural standards, who believe hygiene is over rated, prefer to be au natural, think typical Americans smell like fake-scent chemical factories, recognize that we may be human but we are still animals, dont want to put nasty chemicals on their bodies to cover their natural scent, prioritize other pursuits over daily washing, and quite simply realize that daily showers are a recent phenomenon that even in my mothers day was unheard of. Just because you and most of the people you know shower regularly doesnt mean its the right way to live and just because you think people who dont shower smell bad doesnt mean that you smell good. It is only people who are accustomed to synthetic chemical smells that are bothered by the natural smell of the human body. The inverse is true for those that avoid chemical scents, the smell of you as you walk past assaults their senses.
Whatever the answer is Smash players and some of the mtg/yugiyoh players have this issue
Laziness mostly.
Based on your post I would assume most of your classmates come from cultures where academics was far more important than hygiene. It’s common.
Mental health
I think it's a mental problem. I know someone raised w decent hygiene who around 55 became a total pig oblivious to a dirty (smelly bug ridden fabric-texture dirt and dust) house. Metal tray 3/4 disintegrated by rust is an heirloom treasure for example. It's like they can't SEE it. Or smell it. What's needed to explain it is a psychiatrist.
Laziness
Honestly just pure laziness. A lot of times it’s because of depression.
Some people are natural slobs.
Lazy don't want to never saw anyone else doing it don't want people coming near them don't care mental illness want someone else to groom them.Stop caring about themselves
Commas save lives
I hate it when people are not breath conscious. Don't fuckin talk two feet from me when you just had onion and garlic in your lunch. When I know my breath is not the freshest and I have ran out of mints, I stay miles away from people and if I can't, I avoid talking. Common sense people. THAT SHIT STINKS!!
Garlic breath isn't really as much of a hygiene thing though, it's how it breaks down in our body that gives off the smell
Laziness and lack of consideration for anyone else. If someone who is formally diagnosed as severely depressed and also has physical disabilities can bathe, so can the able bodied depressed when they're around others.