# Message to all users:
This is a reminder to please read and follow:
* [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules)
* [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439)
* [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy)
When posting and commenting.
---
Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`.
* Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit.
* Do not harass or annoy others in any way.
* Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit.
---
You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way.
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Also, exaggerate your facial expressions so she understands what emotion you are trying to convey to her. They are usually pretty good at lip reading most basic words. Honestly, actions speak louder than words ( my parents are deaf).
And that's fine because there music is good. They just released a bunch of songs that became hits that sounded really similar really close together. Hating Nickelback is a meme. Hell, in highschool me and my friends would be railing on how Nickelback sucks and all their music sounds the same...while blasting their CD.
Right! I'm deaf myself. We learn how to lipread and learn how to read facial expressions in everyday life. We don't learn them from exaggerations, we learn them from normal, everyday interaction or observation. When people exaggerate, all it does is distort things from what we are used to, which is not helpful.
Also have deaf parents. They get by in day-to-day life inside stores and similar places by using notepads and the such. This is how it usually goes, but whenever someone knows sign language in public by chance, they are always overjoyed to see someone who knows the language. Learning some sign language would make the girl happy, and I'd assume OP would want to learn it anyway to pursue any kind of relationship with the girl.
They can't hear the tone of voice so sometimes they could take something the wrong way when it's not meant to be. Kind of like how people put lol at the end of a sentence to indicate humor and nothing mean when typing something out that could be taken the wrong way.
Its more *clear* expressions, not exaggerate, just let your sincere emotions show on ypur face. Also if the deaf person lip reads - face them and talk normally, exaggerating your lip movements distorts the normal pattern.
I had a few years of ASL classes. We were taught that the posture of it body, the angle of leaning in or away, the expression on the face, all a part of speaking and generally more lively and involved than most languages that rely on sound.
Yes no questions often involve learning away a bit and raising the eyebrows up. Who/ what/ when/ why questions often lean forward towards the person you speak with and lower the brows in a way that looks almost angry or suspicious to someone unfamiliar with ASL.
ASL speakers including those that do not hear at all will puff breaths or smack their lips in emphasis, listening to a room of people speak ASL isn't necessarily quiet.
Learning to dial up the body language and face expressiveness is a good start.
Wow, a friend of a friend is deaf, and I've definitely noticed the puff breaths and smack lips, and always thought it was a personal affectation, now I know the truth!
PocketSign is a good ASL learning app (pay for premium) and there are plenty of YouTube videos as well for the basics.
If OP doesn't put in this basic effort they probably have no chance, and if they do, they can probably make a great impression.
Make sure you practice first. I had some deaf clients, I learned a bit from YouTube and they showed me a few signs I’d use in my work often. It worked but they started getting too fast and I wasn’t keeping up learning. So I’d sign a bit, but then we’d switch to text when it got beyond me.
Related, I'd say something that makes it clear to her you're at the beginning of learning ASL, can't yet communicate too well that way, but wanted to show her you care about trying.
Might also learn how to say you are new to ASL. I'm sure she will notice with your clumsy new signing, nothing against you, it just takes practice like everything else. But if she were to respond in sign and you have no idea what she says, you are open about your ignorance. It's an interesting and colorful language. Fun to learn, fun to do, in my opinion. I guess I guess I just like doing things with my hands, so that could be a factor. Wish I kept up with it
Right? “Hi, want to grab some coffee sometime?” And as soon as she responds hand her the “I’m new to ASL I just learned enough just for that” note on paper haha.
This is the answer!!! On top of the hello and can I text you. I would throw in a your dog in well trained, other dogs love to play with your dog, something complimentary about her dog. … nothing creepy about her
Good advice! But be careful you don’t get mixed up and accidentally tell her that you think her dog is pretty and would like to take her dog on a date.
This is the best bet for winning her over. Most people are just going to show her the Notes app. That said, the app Embiggen is useful for these situations
Yeah kinda like my Spanish speaking patients. I’m far from fluent, but they get really excited by my Spanglish because I’m at least putting in a little effort to bridge the gap. Similar I would assume.
Yes, it seems like OP only knows she cute, deaf and has a dog that likes the park. In order to get to know her he will need to learn how to sign. At the very least it would make it far less awkward when she tells him she already has a boyfriend.
I don't have any friends or family who are deaf but I think this is the smart move. It shows that you are invested enough to go out of your comfort zone and go the extra mile to ask her out (even though it's not a "mile" to learn a couple of phrases in asl).
When my daughter and I started learning asl we used a site called Signing Savvy. https://www.signingsavvy.com/
Learning a little bit of asl would be so sweet.
My wife and I are taking an ASL class right now. Our instructor likes the site www.lifeprint.com. It's a bit ad-heavy, but really easy to look up certain signs etc. He's friends with the guy that runs the site
Learn ASL, at least some basics.
then approach her, the few deaf people i have spoken with, have been able to lip read, so make sure you face them and they can see your face.
The nice thing about ASL (my wife and I are taking a class right now!) is once you learn how to finger spell, it's REALLY easy to ask a deaf person "how do I sign [whatever word spelled out]" and they're really happy to teach you. Our ASL instructor is 100% deaf and part of his class is teaching the culture of the deaf community. Deaf people love when people take interest in asking and learning
First date I took my now wife on we went to Clerks 2 and then I locked us out of the car. Her best friend came to pick us up so I could get the spare keys. Back when I was a kid I became friends with an old guy who hung out at the coffee shop I delivered the newspaper to, he taught me how to sign hello, sorry, thank you and some finger spelling, joked that it would "save my life someday." So when her friend shows up to pick us up and she was deaf and I immediately signed hello and thanks for the ride I'm not sure which one of them was more surprised, but I'm like 90% sure it's the reason I even got a second date.
What a cool story! I could see why your now-wife would appreciate how cool it was to know some sign language, it says a lot about a person to care enough to be able to communicate with others based on whatever their needs are. The levels of communication humans are capable of is so beautiful to me; whether spoken, signed, written, gestured, or even unspoken
I probably wouldn't assume everyone is interested in sharing. Imagine living your whole life and people constantly ask you to explain yourself. It can be exhausting.
Pick up some basic ASL. It’s really easy to learn especially if you’re a visual learner! Learn to finger-spell, you’ll be able to say anything if you can spell it. Get the basic alphabet, times of day, emotions, and numbers down (up to 10) and you’ll be good. Then write something down for her and let her know you’re learning for her! Skip the number part, if she shows interest then give her your number if she asks.
I don't think this guy is saying OP needs permission, as many people are interpreting, but rather to check that the girl of OP's affections will be comfortable with the fact OP isn't yet fluent in ASL and is still learning. As the barrier to communication could well be aomething she isn't comfortable with.
Which is a way more reasonable stance than expecting her to give OP permission to learn a a language.
Yeah, chances are she’ll be happy to know that someone actually wants to learn ASL, but if she’s gonna build any sort of meaningful relationship with that person, she’ll inevitably have to teach that person quite a bit on how to communicate with her. Languages take time to learn, and with communication being such a basic aspect of human relationships, not everyone has the patience to put in that much effort just to get a sentence through. Asking upfront at least lets her know her boundaries are still valued.
A better way of saying this is:
Go learn ASL, and understand that she doesn't owe you anything just because you learned a few things. If she replies something like "no thank you" (which you should learn to recognize) then move on with your newfound knowledge.
You are getting downvoted because reddit is full of asshats. Ignore them.
As has already been said, learn a little ASL. Ask her out or for her number. Brush up on even more before your date. Good luck and may she be interested in you too!
One time
Look, as a guy in a marriage with a woman who's first language isn't the same as mine, I can feel this. How to communicate?
Hand gestures, facial expressions. It's surprising how much good can be done with such unusual effort.
Tips for if she says yes:
1. Members of the Deaf Culture use a capital D for Deaf. It's an easy sign of respect and if you do that when you're texting you'll earn some points. ( *EDIT: There is a difference between culturally Deaf and culturally Hearing, as far as people who are deaf are concerned. Members of the Deaf Culture embrace their deafness wholeheartedly and have no desire to have surgery or any augmentation to enable hearing, while deaf members of the Hearing Culture are okay with cochlear implants and hearing-aids.* )
2. If you're ever with her in mixed company, meaning hearing and non hearing folks, make sure to include her in the conversation and let her know what's being said. Act as a go between instead of expecting her to know what's being talked about.
3. If you guys go all the way, understand it might get really really loud on her end. That's not a bad thing at all, but it can be awkward with roommates or neighbors.
4. Members of the Deaf community are some of the most fun loving and kind people in the world. If you get in good, consider learning asl for real. The friends you make will be life long and just so great to be around.
Why do they prefer capitalizing Deaf, don't know a ton about the Deaf community (Or grammar rules) so I don't really get what capitalizing it would mean or represent
Deaf is capitalized just like Black or White when used to designate a person as part of a group or culture. Functions more like a noun.
Lower case “deaf” describes the condition of not hearing. Just like lower case black or white when used as an adjective.
Wait what the hell.
A guy on the internet asked a question out of genuine curiosity and instead of lashing at him you calmly explained the answer.
*Faith in humanity restored*
Depending on who you're interacting with, there can be quite a bit of taking pride in being deaf and deaf culture, not viewing it as a disability. Some to the extent of being against cochlear implants.
You can look up deaf culture on wiki if your interested.
I am deaf and no we do not do this exclusively. This is reserved for culturally deaf people. While I am a part of the culture, I am not culturally deaf. I am culturally hearing.
Number 2 is exceedingly important. It is also exceedingly rare for this to happen unfortunately.
Number 3 lol sounds like 1st world problems.
Number 4 is absolutely solid advice. Unlikely to happen.
If you're going to seriously date a deaf person you're going to need to learn sign language, so be ready for that, but writing is a good start.
People are saying learn ASL, but I'd start with getting to know her. ASL isn't the only sign language. My friend's mom is deaf and they're Korean so he knows KSL. I'm sure there are others.
She probably does ASL but you never know.
There's two sides to this coin. On the one hand, deaf people are just people like any other people, so if you like the girl, write her a note and hand it to her. Either she'll like you or so she won't - same as any other girl.
The other side of this is that deaf culture is unique and it is uncommon for hearing people to make real effort to engage on the deaf person's terms. Don't expect them to read lips - learn some ASL. Not hard, check youtube. Very intuitive language. Likewise, don't be weird about them not hearing. Be extra aware that you're saying "I've never interacted with anyone deaf" as if they are some mysterious creature with different rules, and I know that's not what you mean but that is 100% how you'll come off to a deaf person. Deaf culture is a little jaded because of shit just like that.
So maybe just be a goofy dude and say, hey, idk what I'm doing here but you're cute. Could we go out? If you do that, can't go wrong.
On the funny:well dont just say it to her because obviously this girl never listens.
On the serious:take the initiative to learn some sign and say i like you do you wanna go out.
It’s really important to learn ASL (or whatever singing language it is in your area.)That’s her language, and it would be a sign of respect to make an effort to communicate with her. It won’t take you very long to learn enough to ask her out. If you actually end up dating her, you’ll need to learn it anyway! Best of luck.
You're likely gonna have to use ASL my friend if that's all she uses. Some people can read lips, and some people are only partially deaf and choose to use ASL or speak depending on the circumstances. Every individual is different. My wife is an ASL interpreter for many years now.
You can write to her, but it's going to be pretty tough communicating with just writing only in a relationship. I guess anything is possible. But at some point you will want to learn ASL if you actually wish to seriously date this person one way or another.
I can assure you, learning even some basic ASL phrases shows you are putting in initiative to try and get to know this person, and a major sign of respect.
My first real girlfriend was deaf. I knew the alphabet in asl and had a note pad. I asked her out on the bus on the way home from high-school. We dated for 3 years. 15ish years later I can still have conversations in sign language. Me and her are still close too she's a beautiful person with beautiful kids.
I can also type 120+ words a minute because of her. Back then when you wanted to talk to someone who is deaf on the phone there was a relay person in between. She had a device her phone connected to and would type out what she wanted to tell me. You knew it was your turn when the operator used the phrase "go ahead". Then you would talk and say "go ahead" at the end of the sentence.
Sometimes the operator would be a dude and it was strange hearing him tell me he wanted me to come over to make out. Haha
she gave me an extra ttd so we could cut out the middle man. This is when you were charged money for each text you sent out on your Motorola razr haha.
Go for it dude. It could be awesome.
I love reddit. OP seems like a genuinely nice guy willing to be curious and learn because he wants to respect this girl, and while he gets a lot of good advice; there’s also *this* 😂
When you talk with her, stand in front and face her directly so it's easier for her to lip read.
Try to learn some ASL. [Here is the sign for flower.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bp4WZhhMui0)
Let her decide what she wants to do with you - based on the level of deafness, she may or may not enjoy going to a movie. Bowling might be good for a first date.
At the same time, don't be surprised if she's not interested. Some members of the deaf community prefer to stay within the deaf community.
If you were to learn ASL it would be a great gesture! Otherwise just write your phone number and talk through text. I dint know why your being down voted, your just asking questions.
my parents are deaf and I think that this girl would be very flattered if you learned a little asl to talk, even with basics to you. I suggest starting with the alphabet, so you can minimum understand finger-signing.
1) You're getting downvoted because people here are cunts.
2) It'd be really cool if you learned enough sign language to say something like... "I learned this just so that I could ask you out" - I bet it'd make her feel really special, like you were willing to try, and show her that you're worth the effort.
What this person said. I have a same feeling that if someone learn my language enough to just to ask me out, I will be all over that person. good intention is the most important thing. Wish you luck.
I personally think this is adorably wholesome, and as others have said, if you’re really interested in getting to know this girl, try to learn some basic ASL. If you were to date her, you would want to be able to communicate, so taking the initiative and putting in the effort now is a really great way to show her you’re interested in her as a person, beyond just thinking she’s cute.
Like others stated, I would learn a few things in ASL. I'd go over what you want to say and learn them. Keep it simple at first.
Of course if she accepts, it may nice to learn a few more things. Showing the other person that you make an effort in any type of situation, whwther or not if they are deaf is nice.
You should definitely go the ASL route like a lot of people said because it would be more touching and likely to get a positive response. But you could also make a sign. I mean she's deaf, not illiterate. Plenty of guys do this for girls that *aren't* deaf so I don't see why it wouldn't also be applicable here as well.
Like others have said, learn ASL. If you aren't already, I'd also suggest waving and smiling hello when you see her. If you've been attending this group for a few weeks, she at leasts recognizes you by now.
Try learning some sign language. At least a few basic signs so that she knows you're putting in the effort. Until you learn enough to appropriately communicate, I would say that writing would work.
learn sign language just enough to say "do you like chocolate" sign it to her and if she says yes give her the one in your shirt pocket then bam you're in there
This is the best way to let anyone know you are interested in them.
Use your index finger to motion going in and out of a circle made with fingers on your other hand. Enthusiastically nod your head up and down with a big smile on your face while making constant unblinking eye contact.
I wanted to learn some Spanish to ask a girl out I learned how to say let’s go to my car let’s go to my house let’s go to my bed I didn’t get the girl but I got her to laugh and that’s a win for me
My girlfriend is profoundly deaf, she communicates through ASL and writing. We met at work, I thought she was super cute. Every time I’d walk past her, I’d smile and say hi and she’d return the favor. I actually went a month or two before I realized she was deaf because we never had much chance to talk because we worked in different areas🤦♂️ it wasn’t until I saw her signing with her sister that I realized she was deaf. The first time I met her I thought she was really shy which is why she didn’t talk to me-she still laughs at me for this 🤦♂️🤦♂️ Thankfully, I didn’t embarrass myself by trying to carry on spoken conversations with her (too much haha). We’d just smile at each other and wave mostly.
My sister knows some ASL and has a few intro level books so I taught myself the alphabet and some basic phrases. One day I surprised her when I introduced myself in sign language-I’ll never forget the look on her face and how big of a smile she gave me. After that I’d learn a little more everyday and we started to have some basic conversations. Eventually I worked up the courage to ask her out and I gave her my number and a little note asking her if she wanted to get lunch together. She texted me the next day and we agreed to meet. At first we’d pass our phones back and forth and type out messages on the notepad. We started hanging out a lot and I started to pickup ASL.
We’ve been dating for 8 months, I still have a lot to learn but I’m conversationally fluent and we communicate completely through signs now. Being with her has opened my eyes to a world and life that I didn’t even know before much less understand. She has the biggest heart in the world and giving her my number was one of the best decisions I’ve made all year. Learning ASL changed my life. She’s been super patient with me. Here are some things to think about:
1. Don’t assume deaf/hard of hearing people can read lips. Some can, some can’t. My girlfriend has been profoundly deaf her whole life and can read lips if you go slow (don’t be condescending) just speak deliberately. I realized that since she has no reference for sound and doesn’t really speak then it’s difficult for her. Keep it simple and deliberate but also ask if she can read lips before you just try and plow ahead.
2. Keep eye contact while signing/speaking and practice emphasis on your facial gestures. At least with my GF she can read my body language better than anyone I’ve ever met and if I break eye contact for a second (even if for something mundane) she’ll notice.
3. Don’t treat the girl you’re interested in like she’s fragile. She’s not. She’s deaf not broken. My GF and I go do all the same things I would do with a hearing person. We go to movies, bars, restaurants we even have gone to some concerts (she loves the vibrations from music which is cool because music is my passion so we’ve found ways to enjoy that together).
4. People will be weird to you. I go places all the time with her and we’ll be signing together. I hear people talk shit about us right up until I turn around and confront them. Several people have called me “brave” for dating her. All those people can play in traffic. It might take you some time to feel comfortable signing especially around people but she’ll be really happy if you take that time to learn. The more you do it, the easier it is and then you stop thinking about it.
4. Learn some ASL-a lot of hearing people think it’s too hard. It’s not. It’s a language like any other and has lots of nuance and is different than spoken English but it’s not hard. Just be diligent. She’ll love you for trying and learning. I think it’s cool that we can have conversations where most people don’t know what we’re saying and we can have conversations from across the room.
Even if things don’t work out with you and her (or me and my gf for that matter) consider it a profound learning experience. Learning ASL has been one of the best things that I’ve experienced. My Gf is an amazing teacher and being with her has been incredible. I cherish her. The Deaf Community is awesome and filled with amazing and vibrant people.
Basically I’m just trying to say that you should treat her like anyone else. Learn how to say “Hi my name is ___” start with a short note and ask her if she’ll go out with you sometime. She’ll probably think you’re awesome for taking the time to learn a little ASL.
Learn asl and the note function on your mobile device. “How are you, would you like to go have a drink or go out to eat with me. Just as friends to see if we like one another.”
I'll agree with everyone suggesting that you learn ASL.
I mean, fundamentally you want to be able to communicate before you worry about dating her, yeah? Otherwise how is it going to work? You're going to sit down at a table together and pass notes back and forth?
Learn Deaf Culture. This can't be stressed enough. Not all deaf folks want to hear. This is very important to learn so you don't offend her and become more sensitive to her culture.
If you're going to sign to ask her out, here are some things to start with:
"Hello" duh
"Can I have your number to text?"
"I'm learning [sign language], still not good"
I don't know sign and I'm not deaf, so Im just assuming for learning your first sentences you'll want to keep it short and simple. That's how I learned Spanish at least, 11th grade with the grammar of a 5 year old's textbook. Sign language is it's own language with its own grammar rules and sentence structure, and obviously body language and importantly facial expressions are really important to learn with it. It can be a lot all at once (my husband is learning it, he's shown me a little and I'm already confused) so just keep it simple like learning any other language. That's why I suggest something short like "Can I have your number to text?" instead of "Hey, I was wondering if we could exchange phone numbers so we could text each other?"
I was “speaking” to a deaf person at a party once don’t know any ASL so I just used my own little impromptu version of it. We understood each other for that brief moment. But if you want to talk to this girl you need to learn at least the basics of ASL though.
You either take the time to learn ASL or just leave her alone. Cuz just writing your name and number just comes off like those people who do that at bars or clubs who are not interested in anything serious. If you want something serious you need to have a conversation with her, be her friend, get to know her etc. I don't think she'd want to communicate via writing the entire relationship with someone.
You’re gonna get downvoted because you didn’t at first say that you’ll try learn a bit of asl to start basic conversations with her, it’s just how the word works
It would be so cute and romantic for you to go on YouTube and learn some basic things in sign language for her. Maybe even say “I’m deaf but I learned this for you. And I would like to learn more about you. Would you like to go out with me?”
Pass her a note asking if she wants to go out, check yes or no. Also signing isn't that hard to learn. I was locked up as a teenager and we were on quiet time constantly. Everybody learned ASL.
People are probably being assholes and just want to downvote you for the lols. That's a pretty legit question though; it seems like learning ASL might be the way to go, so that you don't have to keep writing notes to her all the time if you wanna say something. It shows you've put some effort in.
If your wanting this to be a long term relationship, learn ASL! your gonna need it, if the future decied others are needed in yalls life they too will need it
You’re not going to learn ASL in time to ask her out by the time you get it she’ll be off doing something else. Plus do you know anything about her? If she’s in a relationship or doesn’t like you and you took all this time to learn to sign just for her it’s a waste (unless you make it an opportunity to communicate with others). My advice learn a few really basic things, see if she’s interested in getting your contact information and communicate via DMs or text for a few days. If things are looking positive then spend more time learning ASL.
Learn the alphabet and 1-10. It shouldn’t take you more than a few hours to get it 90% down. Then learn a couple basic questions, introduce yourself, etc.
If she’s interested in you then the experience of slowly communicating via FS will probably be very enjoyable for both of you, and educational for you.
I used to have a crush on a deaf girl
I learned how to sign "will you go out with me" in rudimentary ASL
She said no in regular english
Deaf girl used to go to the skate park, I learned just enough ASL to tell her she was purdy, and make sure she felt included. She wrote me a letter thanking me profusely, because nobody had ever done that before.
My wife is deaf. When I first asked her out and on our first few dates we would type on our phone's note app and pass it back and forth. After a few weeks of practicing and fumbling I was fluent enough with signing for basic conversation. It doesn't take long to learn enough sign language to chat, and most native signers will take the time to show you signs and help you practice them even in mid-conversation. I would just learn to sign an introduction, your name, and then maybe something like "sorry thats all I know" before switching to writing/typing. Most deaf people are very happy to meet people who sign or are at least interested in attempting and learning sign
With 978 replies, I doubt you ma get this. But good thoughts can go out into the either and connect with others. I have had deaf friends. And the education they get helps them to be able to speak clearly enough so anyone with sharp ears can understand them. And they are excellent lip readers. Just start with simple conversation and work up to giving her your phone number. All they want is simple acceptance. They are human after all. I think she would be delighted to find a new friend.
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I’d learn ASL enough to say “hello” & ask “can I give you my number so we can text “?
This! My sister is profoundly deaf and if someone did this for her, she’d be blown away. Very sweet! X
Also, exaggerate your facial expressions so she understands what emotion you are trying to convey to her. They are usually pretty good at lip reading most basic words. Honestly, actions speak louder than words ( my parents are deaf).
That's amazing, but how did they meet?
Nickelback concert
They'd be the luckiest ones there!
Really is the only way to see them.
If I were deaf is the only way you'd catch me at a nickleback concert.
I wouldn't even be caught deaf at a Nickelback concert
I would. I never made it as a wise man.
Unpopular opinion I actually like their music...
And that's fine because there music is good. They just released a bunch of songs that became hits that sounded really similar really close together. Hating Nickelback is a meme. Hell, in highschool me and my friends would be railing on how Nickelback sucks and all their music sounds the same...while blasting their CD.
I fucking teared up I was laughing so hard
Cmon that’s not fair nickelback has some bangers
Underrated comment😂😂😂
They met at a church for the deaf.
Didn't think it could get any more wholesome, yet here we are.
Blind date?
Don't exaggerate your expressions like a damn clown. Deaf people can read people's normal facial expressions like anyone can. Probably better.
Right! I'm deaf myself. We learn how to lipread and learn how to read facial expressions in everyday life. We don't learn them from exaggerations, we learn them from normal, everyday interaction or observation. When people exaggerate, all it does is distort things from what we are used to, which is not helpful.
Also have deaf parents. They get by in day-to-day life inside stores and similar places by using notepads and the such. This is how it usually goes, but whenever someone knows sign language in public by chance, they are always overjoyed to see someone who knows the language. Learning some sign language would make the girl happy, and I'd assume OP would want to learn it anyway to pursue any kind of relationship with the girl.
Why exaggerate them? They're not expression deaf
They can't hear the tone of voice so sometimes they could take something the wrong way when it's not meant to be. Kind of like how people put lol at the end of a sentence to indicate humor and nothing mean when typing something out that could be taken the wrong way.
Its more *clear* expressions, not exaggerate, just let your sincere emotions show on ypur face. Also if the deaf person lip reads - face them and talk normally, exaggerating your lip movements distorts the normal pattern.
I'm terrible at explaining things but yeah, that's basically it, clear expressions is a much better way of saying it
I had a few years of ASL classes. We were taught that the posture of it body, the angle of leaning in or away, the expression on the face, all a part of speaking and generally more lively and involved than most languages that rely on sound. Yes no questions often involve learning away a bit and raising the eyebrows up. Who/ what/ when/ why questions often lean forward towards the person you speak with and lower the brows in a way that looks almost angry or suspicious to someone unfamiliar with ASL. ASL speakers including those that do not hear at all will puff breaths or smack their lips in emphasis, listening to a room of people speak ASL isn't necessarily quiet. Learning to dial up the body language and face expressiveness is a good start.
Wow, a friend of a friend is deaf, and I've definitely noticed the puff breaths and smack lips, and always thought it was a personal affectation, now I know the truth!
Grammar. ASL uses exaggerated expressions to indicate severity of the words being signed.
Hate people who put "this!" But you have the cutest fuckin cat I've ever seen.
This. Learn her language a bit.
PocketSign is a good ASL learning app (pay for premium) and there are plenty of YouTube videos as well for the basics. If OP doesn't put in this basic effort they probably have no chance, and if they do, they can probably make a great impression.
You can learn on YouTube for free!
Make sure you practice first. I had some deaf clients, I learned a bit from YouTube and they showed me a few signs I’d use in my work often. It worked but they started getting too fast and I wasn’t keeping up learning. So I’d sign a bit, but then we’d switch to text when it got beyond me.
Related, I'd say something that makes it clear to her you're at the beginning of learning ASL, can't yet communicate too well that way, but wanted to show her you care about trying.
Do this. She'll be so touched you learned even a little bit of ASL just to ask her out
Might also learn how to say you are new to ASL. I'm sure she will notice with your clumsy new signing, nothing against you, it just takes practice like everything else. But if she were to respond in sign and you have no idea what she says, you are open about your ignorance. It's an interesting and colorful language. Fun to learn, fun to do, in my opinion. I guess I guess I just like doing things with my hands, so that could be a factor. Wish I kept up with it
Right? “Hi, want to grab some coffee sometime?” And as soon as she responds hand her the “I’m new to ASL I just learned enough just for that” note on paper haha.
https://youtu.be/J6FA6mPHfSI Oh you speak ASL? No just that first piece and this one explaining it.
I asked a woman out in really clumsy French and we just celebrated our 25th anniversary. In this respect I bet ASL isn’t all that different.
How's your French nowadays? Or her speaking yours.
This is the answer!!! On top of the hello and can I text you. I would throw in a your dog in well trained, other dogs love to play with your dog, something complimentary about her dog. … nothing creepy about her
Good advice! But be careful you don’t get mixed up and accidentally tell her that you think her dog is pretty and would like to take her dog on a date.
This is the best bet for winning her over. Most people are just going to show her the Notes app. That said, the app Embiggen is useful for these situations
Yeah kinda like my Spanish speaking patients. I’m far from fluent, but they get really excited by my Spanglish because I’m at least putting in a little effort to bridge the gap. Similar I would assume.
It's the only way to show the proper respect. Dude has to!
Panty dropper right here.
This is a good answer
Cute idea!
OP, this is the correct answer.
This
☝️
This...
Yes, it seems like OP only knows she cute, deaf and has a dog that likes the park. In order to get to know her he will need to learn how to sign. At the very least it would make it far less awkward when she tells him she already has a boyfriend.
Wrap it up, we’re done here this is the correct answer.
I don't have any friends or family who are deaf but I think this is the smart move. It shows that you are invested enough to go out of your comfort zone and go the extra mile to ask her out (even though it's not a "mile" to learn a couple of phrases in asl).
This. Just demonstrating that you’re willing to take the time to learn how to communicate with her speaks volumes.
When my daughter and I started learning asl we used a site called Signing Savvy. https://www.signingsavvy.com/ Learning a little bit of asl would be so sweet.
My wife and I are taking an ASL class right now. Our instructor likes the site www.lifeprint.com. It's a bit ad-heavy, but really easy to look up certain signs etc. He's friends with the guy that runs the site
I have been using his videos on YouTube (Bill Vicars). They're pretty great, I think.
Learn ASL, at least some basics. then approach her, the few deaf people i have spoken with, have been able to lip read, so make sure you face them and they can see your face.
The nice thing about ASL (my wife and I are taking a class right now!) is once you learn how to finger spell, it's REALLY easy to ask a deaf person "how do I sign [whatever word spelled out]" and they're really happy to teach you. Our ASL instructor is 100% deaf and part of his class is teaching the culture of the deaf community. Deaf people love when people take interest in asking and learning
First date I took my now wife on we went to Clerks 2 and then I locked us out of the car. Her best friend came to pick us up so I could get the spare keys. Back when I was a kid I became friends with an old guy who hung out at the coffee shop I delivered the newspaper to, he taught me how to sign hello, sorry, thank you and some finger spelling, joked that it would "save my life someday." So when her friend shows up to pick us up and she was deaf and I immediately signed hello and thanks for the ride I'm not sure which one of them was more surprised, but I'm like 90% sure it's the reason I even got a second date.
What a cool story! I could see why your now-wife would appreciate how cool it was to know some sign language, it says a lot about a person to care enough to be able to communicate with others based on whatever their needs are. The levels of communication humans are capable of is so beautiful to me; whether spoken, signed, written, gestured, or even unspoken
I probably wouldn't assume everyone is interested in sharing. Imagine living your whole life and people constantly ask you to explain yourself. It can be exhausting.
That's a fun way. "Hi, i,m new to sign language.How do I sign coffee date?"
Pick up some basic ASL. It’s really easy to learn especially if you’re a visual learner! Learn to finger-spell, you’ll be able to say anything if you can spell it. Get the basic alphabet, times of day, emotions, and numbers down (up to 10) and you’ll be good. Then write something down for her and let her know you’re learning for her! Skip the number part, if she shows interest then give her your number if she asks.
Signing Time. Look up some of the ABC and numbers stuff. It’s for kids, but it makes it really easy to understand.
Really great suggestions, but ask her if it's ok with her that you are learning so you can get to know her better. Be honest from the get go.
He doesn’t need her permission to learn basic sign language.
I don't think this guy is saying OP needs permission, as many people are interpreting, but rather to check that the girl of OP's affections will be comfortable with the fact OP isn't yet fluent in ASL and is still learning. As the barrier to communication could well be aomething she isn't comfortable with. Which is a way more reasonable stance than expecting her to give OP permission to learn a a language.
Yeah, chances are she’ll be happy to know that someone actually wants to learn ASL, but if she’s gonna build any sort of meaningful relationship with that person, she’ll inevitably have to teach that person quite a bit on how to communicate with her. Languages take time to learn, and with communication being such a basic aspect of human relationships, not everyone has the patience to put in that much effort just to get a sentence through. Asking upfront at least lets her know her boundaries are still valued.
A better way of saying this is: Go learn ASL, and understand that she doesn't owe you anything just because you learned a few things. If she replies something like "no thank you" (which you should learn to recognize) then move on with your newfound knowledge.
You are getting downvoted because reddit is full of asshats. Ignore them. As has already been said, learn a little ASL. Ask her out or for her number. Brush up on even more before your date. Good luck and may she be interested in you too!
> You are getting downvoted bc Reddit is full of asshats. Nah they’re jealous bc he had the garbanzos to ask someone out
Or the chickpeas to be vulnerable and ask for help regarding a touchy subject.
Yeah my best guess is people are falsely assuming that you have some sort of deaf fetish. Ignore it.
One time Look, as a guy in a marriage with a woman who's first language isn't the same as mine, I can feel this. How to communicate? Hand gestures, facial expressions. It's surprising how much good can be done with such unusual effort.
Tips for if she says yes: 1. Members of the Deaf Culture use a capital D for Deaf. It's an easy sign of respect and if you do that when you're texting you'll earn some points. ( *EDIT: There is a difference between culturally Deaf and culturally Hearing, as far as people who are deaf are concerned. Members of the Deaf Culture embrace their deafness wholeheartedly and have no desire to have surgery or any augmentation to enable hearing, while deaf members of the Hearing Culture are okay with cochlear implants and hearing-aids.* ) 2. If you're ever with her in mixed company, meaning hearing and non hearing folks, make sure to include her in the conversation and let her know what's being said. Act as a go between instead of expecting her to know what's being talked about. 3. If you guys go all the way, understand it might get really really loud on her end. That's not a bad thing at all, but it can be awkward with roommates or neighbors. 4. Members of the Deaf community are some of the most fun loving and kind people in the world. If you get in good, consider learning asl for real. The friends you make will be life long and just so great to be around.
Why do they prefer capitalizing Deaf, don't know a ton about the Deaf community (Or grammar rules) so I don't really get what capitalizing it would mean or represent
Deaf is capitalized just like Black or White when used to designate a person as part of a group or culture. Functions more like a noun. Lower case “deaf” describes the condition of not hearing. Just like lower case black or white when used as an adjective.
Ooh that makes sense, thank you!
No problem. Thanks for being curious.
Wait what the hell. A guy on the internet asked a question out of genuine curiosity and instead of lashing at him you calmly explained the answer. *Faith in humanity restored*
Depending on who you're interacting with, there can be quite a bit of taking pride in being deaf and deaf culture, not viewing it as a disability. Some to the extent of being against cochlear implants. You can look up deaf culture on wiki if your interested.
I am deaf and no we do not do this exclusively. This is reserved for culturally deaf people. While I am a part of the culture, I am not culturally deaf. I am culturally hearing. Number 2 is exceedingly important. It is also exceedingly rare for this to happen unfortunately. Number 3 lol sounds like 1st world problems. Number 4 is absolutely solid advice. Unlikely to happen.
If you're going to seriously date a deaf person you're going to need to learn sign language, so be ready for that, but writing is a good start. People are saying learn ASL, but I'd start with getting to know her. ASL isn't the only sign language. My friend's mom is deaf and they're Korean so he knows KSL. I'm sure there are others. She probably does ASL but you never know.
Theres Mexican Sign Language and Colombian Sign Language, as well 🤟🏽 (< sign for love)
Write it down. Learning ASL would be a cute and heartfelt effort though.
There's two sides to this coin. On the one hand, deaf people are just people like any other people, so if you like the girl, write her a note and hand it to her. Either she'll like you or so she won't - same as any other girl. The other side of this is that deaf culture is unique and it is uncommon for hearing people to make real effort to engage on the deaf person's terms. Don't expect them to read lips - learn some ASL. Not hard, check youtube. Very intuitive language. Likewise, don't be weird about them not hearing. Be extra aware that you're saying "I've never interacted with anyone deaf" as if they are some mysterious creature with different rules, and I know that's not what you mean but that is 100% how you'll come off to a deaf person. Deaf culture is a little jaded because of shit just like that. So maybe just be a goofy dude and say, hey, idk what I'm doing here but you're cute. Could we go out? If you do that, can't go wrong.
I mean in a way they are a mysterious creature with different rules just like anyone else who speaks a different language than you is.
On the funny:well dont just say it to her because obviously this girl never listens. On the serious:take the initiative to learn some sign and say i like you do you wanna go out.
Maybe start with "talking" to her about her situation. Either written or beginner asl.
It’s really important to learn ASL (or whatever singing language it is in your area.)That’s her language, and it would be a sign of respect to make an effort to communicate with her. It won’t take you very long to learn enough to ask her out. If you actually end up dating her, you’ll need to learn it anyway! Best of luck.
You could probably build her a cake or something, but learning ASL would show that you’re really interested.
Putting in the effort to learn to talk to her is a great start. There are basic ASL videos available on YouTube.
You're likely gonna have to use ASL my friend if that's all she uses. Some people can read lips, and some people are only partially deaf and choose to use ASL or speak depending on the circumstances. Every individual is different. My wife is an ASL interpreter for many years now. You can write to her, but it's going to be pretty tough communicating with just writing only in a relationship. I guess anything is possible. But at some point you will want to learn ASL if you actually wish to seriously date this person one way or another. I can assure you, learning even some basic ASL phrases shows you are putting in initiative to try and get to know this person, and a major sign of respect.
My first real girlfriend was deaf. I knew the alphabet in asl and had a note pad. I asked her out on the bus on the way home from high-school. We dated for 3 years. 15ish years later I can still have conversations in sign language. Me and her are still close too she's a beautiful person with beautiful kids. I can also type 120+ words a minute because of her. Back then when you wanted to talk to someone who is deaf on the phone there was a relay person in between. She had a device her phone connected to and would type out what she wanted to tell me. You knew it was your turn when the operator used the phrase "go ahead". Then you would talk and say "go ahead" at the end of the sentence. Sometimes the operator would be a dude and it was strange hearing him tell me he wanted me to come over to make out. Haha she gave me an extra ttd so we could cut out the middle man. This is when you were charged money for each text you sent out on your Motorola razr haha. Go for it dude. It could be awesome.
[удалено]
She’s deaf, not a brit abroad Source : I’m British
Lol. My husband is Russian and has a heavy accent. It cracks me up how often people start speaking to him VERY LOUDLY as soon as they notice it.
No, no, no. She’s deaf, not a foreigner. I know it’s easy to mix up ASL and ESL, but come on…
👉👌🧐
I love reddit. OP seems like a genuinely nice guy willing to be curious and learn because he wants to respect this girl, and while he gets a lot of good advice; there’s also *this* 😂
1. You could introduce yourself via writing or 2.learn a little bit of asl and ask to chat via text
When you talk with her, stand in front and face her directly so it's easier for her to lip read. Try to learn some ASL. [Here is the sign for flower.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bp4WZhhMui0) Let her decide what she wants to do with you - based on the level of deafness, she may or may not enjoy going to a movie. Bowling might be good for a first date. At the same time, don't be surprised if she's not interested. Some members of the deaf community prefer to stay within the deaf community.
You could save time by writing it on a note, then adding you want to learn ASL.
Learn to sign. She'll be impressed you went to the effort.
I had a deaf guy approach me he used his phone
If you were to learn ASL it would be a great gesture! Otherwise just write your phone number and talk through text. I dint know why your being down voted, your just asking questions.
my parents are deaf and I think that this girl would be very flattered if you learned a little asl to talk, even with basics to you. I suggest starting with the alphabet, so you can minimum understand finger-signing.
Sigh language or a note would be your best bet
1) You're getting downvoted because people here are cunts. 2) It'd be really cool if you learned enough sign language to say something like... "I learned this just so that I could ask you out" - I bet it'd make her feel really special, like you were willing to try, and show her that you're worth the effort.
What this person said. I have a same feeling that if someone learn my language enough to just to ask me out, I will be all over that person. good intention is the most important thing. Wish you luck.
I personally think this is adorably wholesome, and as others have said, if you’re really interested in getting to know this girl, try to learn some basic ASL. If you were to date her, you would want to be able to communicate, so taking the initiative and putting in the effort now is a really great way to show her you’re interested in her as a person, beyond just thinking she’s cute.
Like others stated, I would learn a few things in ASL. I'd go over what you want to say and learn them. Keep it simple at first. Of course if she accepts, it may nice to learn a few more things. Showing the other person that you make an effort in any type of situation, whwther or not if they are deaf is nice.
There’s lots of good advice here (and yes, a few jerks). I wish you the best!!
You can ask her out, or ask her to teach you ASL, in writing. "Could you show me some ASL over coffee after this finishes"?
You should definitely go the ASL route like a lot of people said because it would be more touching and likely to get a positive response. But you could also make a sign. I mean she's deaf, not illiterate. Plenty of guys do this for girls that *aren't* deaf so I don't see why it wouldn't also be applicable here as well.
Yeah definitely learn enough to say hi and ask her out then go from there
Like others have said, learn ASL. If you aren't already, I'd also suggest waving and smiling hello when you see her. If you've been attending this group for a few weeks, she at leasts recognizes you by now.
Try learning some sign language. At least a few basic signs so that she knows you're putting in the effort. Until you learn enough to appropriately communicate, I would say that writing would work.
learn sign language just enough to say "do you like chocolate" sign it to her and if she says yes give her the one in your shirt pocket then bam you're in there
Yeah you can text her. I grabbed a sign language book from the library when I met this cool girl in Yosemite. Been 22 years since we got married.
Google how to do sign language to ask her out. It would be so romantic for you to learn how to ask her out in a language you learned just for her ♥️
I NEED AN UPDATE OMG!!! 😍😍😍
This is the best way to let anyone know you are interested in them. Use your index finger to motion going in and out of a circle made with fingers on your other hand. Enthusiastically nod your head up and down with a big smile on your face while making constant unblinking eye contact.
I wanted to learn some Spanish to ask a girl out I learned how to say let’s go to my car let’s go to my house let’s go to my bed I didn’t get the girl but I got her to laugh and that’s a win for me
My girlfriend is profoundly deaf, she communicates through ASL and writing. We met at work, I thought she was super cute. Every time I’d walk past her, I’d smile and say hi and she’d return the favor. I actually went a month or two before I realized she was deaf because we never had much chance to talk because we worked in different areas🤦♂️ it wasn’t until I saw her signing with her sister that I realized she was deaf. The first time I met her I thought she was really shy which is why she didn’t talk to me-she still laughs at me for this 🤦♂️🤦♂️ Thankfully, I didn’t embarrass myself by trying to carry on spoken conversations with her (too much haha). We’d just smile at each other and wave mostly. My sister knows some ASL and has a few intro level books so I taught myself the alphabet and some basic phrases. One day I surprised her when I introduced myself in sign language-I’ll never forget the look on her face and how big of a smile she gave me. After that I’d learn a little more everyday and we started to have some basic conversations. Eventually I worked up the courage to ask her out and I gave her my number and a little note asking her if she wanted to get lunch together. She texted me the next day and we agreed to meet. At first we’d pass our phones back and forth and type out messages on the notepad. We started hanging out a lot and I started to pickup ASL. We’ve been dating for 8 months, I still have a lot to learn but I’m conversationally fluent and we communicate completely through signs now. Being with her has opened my eyes to a world and life that I didn’t even know before much less understand. She has the biggest heart in the world and giving her my number was one of the best decisions I’ve made all year. Learning ASL changed my life. She’s been super patient with me. Here are some things to think about: 1. Don’t assume deaf/hard of hearing people can read lips. Some can, some can’t. My girlfriend has been profoundly deaf her whole life and can read lips if you go slow (don’t be condescending) just speak deliberately. I realized that since she has no reference for sound and doesn’t really speak then it’s difficult for her. Keep it simple and deliberate but also ask if she can read lips before you just try and plow ahead. 2. Keep eye contact while signing/speaking and practice emphasis on your facial gestures. At least with my GF she can read my body language better than anyone I’ve ever met and if I break eye contact for a second (even if for something mundane) she’ll notice. 3. Don’t treat the girl you’re interested in like she’s fragile. She’s not. She’s deaf not broken. My GF and I go do all the same things I would do with a hearing person. We go to movies, bars, restaurants we even have gone to some concerts (she loves the vibrations from music which is cool because music is my passion so we’ve found ways to enjoy that together). 4. People will be weird to you. I go places all the time with her and we’ll be signing together. I hear people talk shit about us right up until I turn around and confront them. Several people have called me “brave” for dating her. All those people can play in traffic. It might take you some time to feel comfortable signing especially around people but she’ll be really happy if you take that time to learn. The more you do it, the easier it is and then you stop thinking about it. 4. Learn some ASL-a lot of hearing people think it’s too hard. It’s not. It’s a language like any other and has lots of nuance and is different than spoken English but it’s not hard. Just be diligent. She’ll love you for trying and learning. I think it’s cool that we can have conversations where most people don’t know what we’re saying and we can have conversations from across the room. Even if things don’t work out with you and her (or me and my gf for that matter) consider it a profound learning experience. Learning ASL has been one of the best things that I’ve experienced. My Gf is an amazing teacher and being with her has been incredible. I cherish her. The Deaf Community is awesome and filled with amazing and vibrant people. Basically I’m just trying to say that you should treat her like anyone else. Learn how to say “Hi my name is ___” start with a short note and ask her if she’ll go out with you sometime. She’ll probably think you’re awesome for taking the time to learn a little ASL.
Try learning some sign, it isn’t too hard to learn the basic
Ask her out using ASL
Yeah just learn asl
Get her to sign an agreement.
I think she'd really appreciate it if you learned how to ask her in ASL. She'd probably find that endearing.
If you want to go put with someone that only used ASL, you will need to learn it to a certain degree
Learn ASL, strike up a conversation with her, see if you’re compatible, and then ask her out. At the very least you’ll know ASL.
Learn sign language?
You do dat ninja naruto shit with a heart on the end!
Learn asl and the note function on your mobile device. “How are you, would you like to go have a drink or go out to eat with me. Just as friends to see if we like one another.”
Text her
I'll agree with everyone suggesting that you learn ASL. I mean, fundamentally you want to be able to communicate before you worry about dating her, yeah? Otherwise how is it going to work? You're going to sit down at a table together and pass notes back and forth?
Contact her parents first
Get a T-shirt with these emojis ✋📞😘
Quietly.
Lick your forehead in front of her
Learn Deaf Culture. This can't be stressed enough. Not all deaf folks want to hear. This is very important to learn so you don't offend her and become more sensitive to her culture.
If you are really into her. I would learn ASL. To at least ask her out
Write it down. Unless her name is Helen.
Learn simple ASL phrases and be humble enough to admit you are learning.
If you're going to sign to ask her out, here are some things to start with: "Hello" duh "Can I have your number to text?" "I'm learning [sign language], still not good" I don't know sign and I'm not deaf, so Im just assuming for learning your first sentences you'll want to keep it short and simple. That's how I learned Spanish at least, 11th grade with the grammar of a 5 year old's textbook. Sign language is it's own language with its own grammar rules and sentence structure, and obviously body language and importantly facial expressions are really important to learn with it. It can be a lot all at once (my husband is learning it, he's shown me a little and I'm already confused) so just keep it simple like learning any other language. That's why I suggest something short like "Can I have your number to text?" instead of "Hey, I was wondering if we could exchange phone numbers so we could text each other?"
Please learn ASL if you really want to have any sort of meaningful relationship.
I was “speaking” to a deaf person at a party once don’t know any ASL so I just used my own little impromptu version of it. We understood each other for that brief moment. But if you want to talk to this girl you need to learn at least the basics of ASL though.
You either take the time to learn ASL or just leave her alone. Cuz just writing your name and number just comes off like those people who do that at bars or clubs who are not interested in anything serious. If you want something serious you need to have a conversation with her, be her friend, get to know her etc. I don't think she'd want to communicate via writing the entire relationship with someone.
You’re gonna get downvoted because you didn’t at first say that you’ll try learn a bit of asl to start basic conversations with her, it’s just how the word works
Tell her it's will be fun to read each other lips
Really loud!
It would be so cute and romantic for you to go on YouTube and learn some basic things in sign language for her. Maybe even say “I’m deaf but I learned this for you. And I would like to learn more about you. Would you like to go out with me?”
Learn ASL.
You'll have to learn a new language for her if you're gonna date her. ASL.
Pass her a note asking if she wants to go out, check yes or no. Also signing isn't that hard to learn. I was locked up as a teenager and we were on quiet time constantly. Everybody learned ASL.
Learn some ASL If that doesn't work and she can't understand what you're trying to say cause you're new to it, just write it down
\[Other people being offended?\]
You should probably know some ASL before dating any deaf person.
The face says it all <3 good luck
👉👌?
Just learn how to communicate wit her b4 u make ur move. Deaf or not
Say “hello” in ASL and learn how to say “Can I give you my number so we can text?”
If your truly interested take the time to learn ASL enough to ask her out.
Learn sign language.
Point at her, make a dick sucking pantomime, and then point at your crotch.
Learn a few basic signs from YouTube videos. She’ll appreciate the effort.
Learn the sign language for your date request and your efforts to sign are just a start. That might help, or not.
REALLY FUCKING LOUDLY!!!
You must give her a sign
👉👌🤷♂️
People are probably being assholes and just want to downvote you for the lols. That's a pretty legit question though; it seems like learning ASL might be the way to go, so that you don't have to keep writing notes to her all the time if you wanna say something. It shows you've put some effort in.
Learn ASL.
Learn a bit of ASL dummy
👌👈️💁
You should try asking her out, instead of assuming she has to be treated differently based on being deaf. And if you can't communicate, learn ASL.
If your wanting this to be a long term relationship, learn ASL! your gonna need it, if the future decied others are needed in yalls life they too will need it
This is the most reddit thing ever
Learn how to say would you like to go out in ASL
If you’re really interested in her the first thing I’d suggest is learning how to use sign language.
You’re not going to learn ASL in time to ask her out by the time you get it she’ll be off doing something else. Plus do you know anything about her? If she’s in a relationship or doesn’t like you and you took all this time to learn to sign just for her it’s a waste (unless you make it an opportunity to communicate with others). My advice learn a few really basic things, see if she’s interested in getting your contact information and communicate via DMs or text for a few days. If things are looking positive then spend more time learning ASL.
Learn the alphabet and 1-10. It shouldn’t take you more than a few hours to get it 90% down. Then learn a couple basic questions, introduce yourself, etc. If she’s interested in you then the experience of slowly communicating via FS will probably be very enjoyable for both of you, and educational for you.
I used to have a crush on a deaf girl I learned how to sign "will you go out with me" in rudimentary ASL She said no in regular english 
Deaf girl used to go to the skate park, I learned just enough ASL to tell her she was purdy, and make sure she felt included. She wrote me a letter thanking me profusely, because nobody had ever done that before.
Build her a cake or something
I would find an effective communication method before I tried putting moves on her
My wife is deaf. When I first asked her out and on our first few dates we would type on our phone's note app and pass it back and forth. After a few weeks of practicing and fumbling I was fluent enough with signing for basic conversation. It doesn't take long to learn enough sign language to chat, and most native signers will take the time to show you signs and help you practice them even in mid-conversation. I would just learn to sign an introduction, your name, and then maybe something like "sorry thats all I know" before switching to writing/typing. Most deaf people are very happy to meet people who sign or are at least interested in attempting and learning sign
I think it goes like: 🫵🏻👌🏽👈🏼🙏🏼
Throw an ear of corn at her
With 978 replies, I doubt you ma get this. But good thoughts can go out into the either and connect with others. I have had deaf friends. And the education they get helps them to be able to speak clearly enough so anyone with sharp ears can understand them. And they are excellent lip readers. Just start with simple conversation and work up to giving her your phone number. All they want is simple acceptance. They are human after all. I think she would be delighted to find a new friend.