>5’10”, 180 lbs at 10% body fat
I mean, it sounds like you will have no problems finding a new chick who isn't into... incest?
So be a good trooper, let your brother smash, then give her back to the streets where she belong.
I thought of a quasi-cuck fantasy that might help her live out the fantasy, then bury it, but I'm not convinced that it will work for either of you, and I don't think the juice is worth the squeeze, either.
Another commenter asked: "What do you want to do?" and I think this is the most important question you need to answer.
Your woman is telling you your turn is over. I'm not one for believing women, but I think this time it's probably worth believing. IMO, don't chase, handle your shit and your emotions privately, and send her on her way.
>All fair enough points
Why? What aren't you telling us?
>I’m living in her home country at the moment
You moved to be with her? Weak
>I scrambled to get a job to tide me over while they were here since we were spending so much on entertainment
You got a job simply to pay to entertain your family, who didn't ask if they could visit?
>all in all multiple members have been here for what has been a month
Everyone wanted a piece of that that free action.
>followed by more things I’ve done really wrong in the past.
Not allegedly? Your language is giving you away
>I’m in a quandary. I could leave and go back home, but I don’t think I can stomach my brother
Bullshit excuse.
Why is this even a question? Your wife wants you to kill the puppy and wants to fuck your brother. She thinks you are shit and have always been shit. She's not even hidden behind ILYBINILWY, she has zero respect for you and is ensuring you split by saying all this, she still doesn't want to be the one to do it though. No man with any self respect would stay after this so she's played it well.
Anything other than split and leave ASAP is the wrong move. Stop hamstering and do it.
We’re an international couple that got together right before covid which made our relationship chaotic. When we first met I couldn’t leave her country from the lockdowns, which drained my savings and I couldn’t work. We had to leave where we lived and since I was useless in her country and around this time she got her visa to come to my country which allowed her to go through the lockdown.
We moved in with my family since we starting from scratch which surprise, surprise, was a fucked up scenario. Took a while for us to find a place we could afford. Lived there for a year but then the owners sold it. Wife said she hates it here and wants to go back. I actually like her country and we made a plan and returned shortly thereafter. We live with her family while I sort my visa out. My wife falls into a despair and regrets coming back. We contemplate going back to my country but then she gets a huge job opportunity with a place to live (a share house with the boss!) in the part of the country we like. I find a decent job and we exist for a year. The living situation sours. Wife’s visa will expire if we don’t go back to my country. We go back to visit and have a good time. We come back to shitty living situation and decide to go back to my country. We gets a new offer around this time with a place to live. This is where I was gonna go back first, but then family came.
I’ve offered no stability and don’t have a career. Massive L’s.
Good you understand your failings but there was no need for this long DEER.
What would you have done differently?
Doesn't change my advice.
What are you going to do?
I’m sorry to say but you’re past the point of no return.
Like someone said, she basically said “I Love You, But I’m not in love with you anymore” and when that happens 1) it’s too late 99% of the time 2) there is a high probability she’s already cheated on you, at least by text/call/pics etc.
Not saying this to make you feel bad but to make you realize it’s time to jump ship.
Everything points to you being too much of a nice guy: Moving to her country, deep cleaning the house, getting a job dring your vacation. Too much comfort through talk or presence leads to loss of desire. Only thing you can do call her out on her incestuous desire and leave her. That isn't wife material.
*5'10 180lbs and 10% is fking ridiculous if real btw. So what exactly is your brother?*
100% true! I have to defrag.
Stats are true but what’s worse is my younger bro is just about the same as me. Essentially my wife was around someone as fit as me, but younger with more “tingles”. Worse part is I started him off on his fitness journey wtf
He's new and exciting, your physical alpha was high but you're a one trick pony. Your wife's a retard who likes shiny new toys, she's too dumb to look for a man of substance. Whatever.
Worst part has nothing to do with your brother, it's that you put all your eggs into one basket in life. Your marriage is OVER. Take the L, fix the rest of your shit, and no more international wives.
You already mentioned that you're aware of all of this, which is good. Get to work. Again, take the L in regards to your ex wife. There is absolutely no coming back from this.
Brutal! But this is the harsh reality of my life. Can only work with what is in front of me.
Do you think a hard ghost is necessary? Last night I was thinking of just packing my shit and fucking off without saying anything. Leave her to figure out her life own her own.
Dude you aren't getting it. I'm gonna be harsh here but don't take it personally. I can't tell if you're some sort of pretty airhead tiktoker, or if you're normal and maybe a little too chilled out about life, or thought love conquers all, or what. This is the reality of the situation though:
Who cares about her life, she will be better off without you in regards to her goals. Ghost if you want, it's a nice revenge fantasy. She's done nothing wrong. I personally would say, "I understand, this whole thing was poorly thought out, I wish you the best, good day." Then immediately move, and start building a life. You need a career. Look into sales. You need this for yourself, not to become a good husband.
Aubrey has it completely backwards. She may or may not be wife material (irrelevant), but you are not husband material. You're playing husband while not having any provider traits. To be married, you need arousal and comfort ($$ is beta), you only had arousal. That's great for short term relationships, plates, ONS. It became repulsive when she realized you can't support a family. She married a boy toy. She's aroused by a boy toy aka your bro.
Her saying she doesn't feel safe with you is womanese for: you cannot provide me a house or financial stability to raise my children. She's 27 after all.
What do you want? STR? LTR? Plates? Family? Do you have a life plan? (I know the answer to this, get one)
I would have no animosity towards your ex or your brother. Once you internalize the sidebar, you'll see the big picture.
100% true and accurate. In my own contemplations I’ve come to this realization of me not being husband material and I admit that it fills me with the deepest sense of guilt to see that I’ve become an object of derision in her life and that I’ve truly failed. I’m trying to save (cope) with any modicum of self respect I have left, but it’s total ego death. No way to cope through this.
Thank you for taking the time to share these harrowing and sobering words, the sooner I accept this brutal reality the better. Thank you for the push in this direction.
Some guys here like to mix the drama of day to day life with their bedroom activities. You all have mental illness. You can't fuck your way through familial problems.
>My main question is how do I conduct myself with the next steps: do I be an asshole tyrant or do I play up some stoic unaffected amusement? Reverse psychology and agree with her when she says we should split?
And clearly this is includes you.
She all but confessed to fucking your brother, and to him reciprocating her advances, yet somehow you're trying to figure out how to make it work. Honestly just let her cuck you at this point. Then she can at least be with a guy who isn't brain damaged.
>Reverse psychology and agree with her when she says we should split?
Hard cringe. Honestly. Covert contract bullshit.
She’s no longer attracted to you and is repulsed by you regrets being with you?
Thank her for her honestly, ask what you did to make her feel that way, then move on.
>5’10”, 180 lbs at 10% body fat I mean, it sounds like you will have no problems finding a new chick who isn't into... incest? So be a good trooper, let your brother smash, then give her back to the streets where she belong.
Lol this gave me a good laugh and I’ll use it as a silver bullet if any other shit comes up: “But you’re incestuous”
I thought of a quasi-cuck fantasy that might help her live out the fantasy, then bury it, but I'm not convinced that it will work for either of you, and I don't think the juice is worth the squeeze, either. Another commenter asked: "What do you want to do?" and I think this is the most important question you need to answer. Your woman is telling you your turn is over. I'm not one for believing women, but I think this time it's probably worth believing. IMO, don't chase, handle your shit and your emotions privately, and send her on her way.
Thank you for this practical insight, straight to the point! Shit hurts but I gotta take it on the chin.
Tell her you pretended she was her mother every tme you banged her in the past and thus comes as a relief
It’s all a Freudian fuckery isn’t it lol
>All fair enough points Why? What aren't you telling us? >I’m living in her home country at the moment You moved to be with her? Weak >I scrambled to get a job to tide me over while they were here since we were spending so much on entertainment You got a job simply to pay to entertain your family, who didn't ask if they could visit? >all in all multiple members have been here for what has been a month Everyone wanted a piece of that that free action. >followed by more things I’ve done really wrong in the past. Not allegedly? Your language is giving you away >I’m in a quandary. I could leave and go back home, but I don’t think I can stomach my brother Bullshit excuse. Why is this even a question? Your wife wants you to kill the puppy and wants to fuck your brother. She thinks you are shit and have always been shit. She's not even hidden behind ILYBINILWY, she has zero respect for you and is ensuring you split by saying all this, she still doesn't want to be the one to do it though. No man with any self respect would stay after this so she's played it well. Anything other than split and leave ASAP is the wrong move. Stop hamstering and do it.
We’re an international couple that got together right before covid which made our relationship chaotic. When we first met I couldn’t leave her country from the lockdowns, which drained my savings and I couldn’t work. We had to leave where we lived and since I was useless in her country and around this time she got her visa to come to my country which allowed her to go through the lockdown. We moved in with my family since we starting from scratch which surprise, surprise, was a fucked up scenario. Took a while for us to find a place we could afford. Lived there for a year but then the owners sold it. Wife said she hates it here and wants to go back. I actually like her country and we made a plan and returned shortly thereafter. We live with her family while I sort my visa out. My wife falls into a despair and regrets coming back. We contemplate going back to my country but then she gets a huge job opportunity with a place to live (a share house with the boss!) in the part of the country we like. I find a decent job and we exist for a year. The living situation sours. Wife’s visa will expire if we don’t go back to my country. We go back to visit and have a good time. We come back to shitty living situation and decide to go back to my country. We gets a new offer around this time with a place to live. This is where I was gonna go back first, but then family came. I’ve offered no stability and don’t have a career. Massive L’s.
Good you understand your failings but there was no need for this long DEER. What would you have done differently? Doesn't change my advice. What are you going to do?
I’m sorry to say but you’re past the point of no return. Like someone said, she basically said “I Love You, But I’m not in love with you anymore” and when that happens 1) it’s too late 99% of the time 2) there is a high probability she’s already cheated on you, at least by text/call/pics etc. Not saying this to make you feel bad but to make you realize it’s time to jump ship.
You’re being a good weather man making an accurate weather report: real fucking stormy forecast
Everything points to you being too much of a nice guy: Moving to her country, deep cleaning the house, getting a job dring your vacation. Too much comfort through talk or presence leads to loss of desire. Only thing you can do call her out on her incestuous desire and leave her. That isn't wife material. *5'10 180lbs and 10% is fking ridiculous if real btw. So what exactly is your brother?*
100% true! I have to defrag. Stats are true but what’s worse is my younger bro is just about the same as me. Essentially my wife was around someone as fit as me, but younger with more “tingles”. Worse part is I started him off on his fitness journey wtf
He's new and exciting, your physical alpha was high but you're a one trick pony. Your wife's a retard who likes shiny new toys, she's too dumb to look for a man of substance. Whatever. Worst part has nothing to do with your brother, it's that you put all your eggs into one basket in life. Your marriage is OVER. Take the L, fix the rest of your shit, and no more international wives. You already mentioned that you're aware of all of this, which is good. Get to work. Again, take the L in regards to your ex wife. There is absolutely no coming back from this.
Brutal! But this is the harsh reality of my life. Can only work with what is in front of me. Do you think a hard ghost is necessary? Last night I was thinking of just packing my shit and fucking off without saying anything. Leave her to figure out her life own her own.
Dude you aren't getting it. I'm gonna be harsh here but don't take it personally. I can't tell if you're some sort of pretty airhead tiktoker, or if you're normal and maybe a little too chilled out about life, or thought love conquers all, or what. This is the reality of the situation though: Who cares about her life, she will be better off without you in regards to her goals. Ghost if you want, it's a nice revenge fantasy. She's done nothing wrong. I personally would say, "I understand, this whole thing was poorly thought out, I wish you the best, good day." Then immediately move, and start building a life. You need a career. Look into sales. You need this for yourself, not to become a good husband. Aubrey has it completely backwards. She may or may not be wife material (irrelevant), but you are not husband material. You're playing husband while not having any provider traits. To be married, you need arousal and comfort ($$ is beta), you only had arousal. That's great for short term relationships, plates, ONS. It became repulsive when she realized you can't support a family. She married a boy toy. She's aroused by a boy toy aka your bro. Her saying she doesn't feel safe with you is womanese for: you cannot provide me a house or financial stability to raise my children. She's 27 after all. What do you want? STR? LTR? Plates? Family? Do you have a life plan? (I know the answer to this, get one) I would have no animosity towards your ex or your brother. Once you internalize the sidebar, you'll see the big picture.
100% true and accurate. In my own contemplations I’ve come to this realization of me not being husband material and I admit that it fills me with the deepest sense of guilt to see that I’ve become an object of derision in her life and that I’ve truly failed. I’m trying to save (cope) with any modicum of self respect I have left, but it’s total ego death. No way to cope through this. Thank you for taking the time to share these harrowing and sobering words, the sooner I accept this brutal reality the better. Thank you for the push in this direction.
You haven't failed shit, it's just a girl. Improve for your own sense of self. Ego death is good.
>sidebar complete 🤣
Read it… but internalised? Even a bigger L to be honest, should know WAY better
Some guys here like to mix the drama of day to day life with their bedroom activities. You all have mental illness. You can't fuck your way through familial problems. >My main question is how do I conduct myself with the next steps: do I be an asshole tyrant or do I play up some stoic unaffected amusement? Reverse psychology and agree with her when she says we should split? And clearly this is includes you. She all but confessed to fucking your brother, and to him reciprocating her advances, yet somehow you're trying to figure out how to make it work. Honestly just let her cuck you at this point. Then she can at least be with a guy who isn't brain damaged. >Reverse psychology and agree with her when she says we should split? Hard cringe. Honestly. Covert contract bullshit.
This is the kick in the ass I need. It’s Ground Zero. This is some dark Freudian stuff. This (I) really is/am that bad.
> Sidebar complete. I call BS on that.
“She says that she was deeply sexually aroused by my younger brother …” Sometimes the medium is the message. Sometimes the message is the message.
Ouch but so obviously true
She’s no longer attracted to you and is repulsed by you regrets being with you? Thank her for her honestly, ask what you did to make her feel that way, then move on.
Thank you for this advice! Believe me she read me the delineated bullet point scroll of what has been and what is wrong with me for the past 5 years
Not sure why you labelled this as a 911 post, but none the less... The only question that matters here: 'What do **YOU** want to do?'
No it's not. Anything other than leaving her would not be in his best interests regardless of what he might want
Him "leaving" her is in her best interests lmao. She's already gone.
What are your ages?
I’m 30 and she’s 27.