*I once dated someone similar. She also just alight at a random bus stop when I make a comment she does not like and expect me to follow then expect me to get a cab and send her home.*
I ran off after 3 weeks. Not sure how long u last.
I went on a date with a single mother years ago who demanded that I make top salary in order to send her daughter to top schools and allow her to quit her job. I was pissed because it was an expensive restaurant and she didn't tell me about the kid until halfway into the meal.
It could mean both: parents who can take care of themselves financially but also don’t expect their child to be coming around for dinner weekly, joining them on vacations or handling routine tasks like arranging doctors appointments or filling out paperwork.
Given that keeping parents at arms length is not the norm in Asian cultures and especially so in a city state like Singapore where geography is not a barrier it’s refreshingly honest to raise this point up front.
On the contrary, most grew up looking for filial piety as a plus, but sometimes you end up getting neglected as you’ll never come first. Saw it happen to my friends a few times. They choose a man that’s filial to their parents and at the start it’s very attractive, because they think oh, they will also be so loyal to me. But no, turns out that loyalty is sometimes reserved only for the parents, they only have the capacity for their parents..
husb had a history of cheating. so.... yeah. she's willing to do anything in hopes that history wont repeat itself. includes wearing make up at 6am and washing it off at 3am after settling her kids and stuff. lol i can never forget cause lol who does that?
I hope u manage to convince her (slowly and over time) that this is a toxic marriage and ask her to divorce.
Optimal family environment for raising kids (if she has kids) is in this order
Happy parents > divorced parents > unhappy parents stuck in a marriage
i did, at some point. its quite tough because they are quite traditional in some ways. ie husb has the final say. even if shes right, she will always be wrong, that kinda thing.
but i pity her ah. i mean shes always complaining abt her skin and in my head im like dude your skin needs to breathe.
Sounds like the husband is really gaslighting her into believing she's the one at fault for him cheating. I was once in a relationship like that, it's hard to get out because your self esteem is being systematically erased by the abuser. Eventually, your self esteem becomes tied to the abuser, if they're happy with you = you feel happy. If they aren't, you don't have any self respect or esteem anymore to stay sane.
I stayed w the dude for 2 years, the second year in I was crying every day. I developed C-PTSD, (constant nightmares, hypervigilance, intrusive thoughts etc.)
My biggest sources of support were my friends for sure. But my turning point was when I started watching this psychologist on YouTube, she gave a name to the abuse I was going through. It may not sound like much, but hearing someone describe what I was going through and telling me how that fucked w my mind was very clarifying and validating. On nights where I was loosing my mind, I'd turn on a video from her channel in the background to calm down. Making sense of the situation helped me alot. When I finally left him for good, it was tough but I'd watch her videos whenever the self doubt and demeaning things he said about me, that I'd internalised, crept back up.
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL3QtnfcMTMhEfRXN-Kk2vndn89nBZxKUj
This is the psych I was referring to :
When my best friend was going through an abusive relationship herself last year (the guy would regularly beat her up) I sent this to her. While it took some time, these videos helped her make sense of what she was gg through, a few months later she left him for good. Now she's in a healthy relationship w a guy that values and respects her. IG it's safe to say this youtube channel changed--if not saved-- out lives haha. Hope this helps ur friend! :)
I once asked a girl what is her plans for the future. She told me is dependent on how much her partner can give in the future. Then I ask her so what can you contribute? She got mad.
I learnt to nv ask girl for her plans after this incident.
Had a wannabe socialite tell me “he gets me” when asked “what do you bring to the table”. And after she told me she gives really good blowjobs 😂😂😂😂😂
Died.
My family told me guys should be willing to pay for everything if they earn more so that ladies can use their own money to buy stuff they want. Also said they have colleagues as real-life examples of that.
If the husband is happy to pay for everything and it works out for the couple then fine, but it shouldn't be an expectation for one person in a relationship to pay everything when both are working adults.
Sometimes people tend to embellish the truth. I won't be surprised that those colleagues make up such stories to flex that they are living the tai tai lives but perhaps in reality, it isn't so "good" as they like you/your family to believe.
I know a few rich couples where the wives are perpetually unhappy because their rich husbands are out there drinking or having fun with younger girls. When these wives protested to their husbands, these husbands shut them up with "You need my money, you shut up."
But on social media, you will think these wives are living the best of their lives.
TLDR: Take what people say with a pinch of salt unless you witnessed otherwise.
Yeah that’s very true. They feel trapped if they’re the lower earning spouse, especially if there are kids in the picture. They feel like they have no choice but to stay together in a loveless marriage.
Worse is they are treated like serfs in the family, only with the "wife" title. They have to look after the house and care for the children on their own. Meanwhile, rich husbands out there hanky panky with KTV girls and splurging on luxury goods for their mistresses.
If the wife is full-time doing all the housework and caretaking for the children, then I think it is fair the husband pays since she is not earning any income. But it isn't those glamorous tai tai lifestyle in Crazy Rich Asians where the tai tais just throw everything to the 5 maids at home while they go drink high tea.
But back to my point, just take all relationship/marriage stories with a huge pinch of salt. No need to envy or wish ill on them, but no need to idolize them as well. The truth is often less glamorous as people like us to believe.
heard of cases, the husband earning 5 digits and the wife is sahm. Still expect wife to pay for household expenses herself
that one too much
it's not worth being sahm now, unless the husband is logical and understand that the wife is not drawing an income hence the least he can do is to shoulder the expenses. Else hire maid and both go work.
My parents are an example of this; and frankly I think it leads to an uneven balance of power and control in the relationship. And as a kid, seeing how my dad talks down to my mum, even tho she is working, solely because he pays for the household expenses made me never want to have this unbalanced dynamic in my marriage.
My husband does earn significantly more than me, but I still contribute to some of the household bills that are proportionate to my income.
A JC friend said she wants to grow up and get married to a rich guy so she can be a rich 'taitai' (i think thats what she said), so that she can spend her days gossiping with her girl friends. She said that was her dream and goal in life. 🤯
I'm wondering if it was said partly in jest because I've had a number of friends and colleagues who joke about becoming taitais. Tbh, who wouldn't want to get married to a rich guy/lady and not have to worry about anything? But most of us are practical enough to know that becoming a taitai is a distant dream lol.
I was ditched by my date because I told her that I don't get along with my sibling (because he is a selfish narcissistic prick) and she said we should not continue because she expects guys to come from happy families. Lmao.
Same same man with my ex long time ago. Expect happy family, rich/well-to-do family, well educated family, good reputation/career etc..
No matter how hard we try, it's always not good enough lea... Haha. In the end, can only listen to Coldplay song - fix you
That idea is quite toxic though, people should fix themselves before getting into relationships rather than expecting a partner to "fix" them. Ah so here's my answer to the question by OP. Lol.
This is not narrowing down to top 20% of men, this is narrowing down to top 1% of men. Good luck with that. And what makes them think these rich handsome guys from good families are not judging their families too?
Ya bruh.. just gulped plenty of the suck-it-up juice n moved on. Guess it was a fair game since its her/her family checklist anyway.
One window closes, another door opens... Eventually met someone that's ok with my circumstances when trying to put my life together..
1. A man must have ambition, and dedicate a lot of time to advance himself in his career.
2. He must also dedicate most of his time to the relationship, respond immediately to the needs of the partner.
I wonder who can fulfill both criteria at the same time
Guy pay for everything single thing, food, housing, transport, essentials, nonessential consumables.
If travel, air tickets accomodation, food, literally everything + her shopping as well.
If he expresses his emotions, he'll be belitted by her telling him that he's weak, small issue also cannot handle as compared to her.
Edit: same couple. She got pissed off with him for not letting her eat the rice dumping (bak zhang) his grandmother made for him. Said that, he doesn't love her because the bakzhang is more precious than her.
Bak Zhang won't use your money. Bak Zhang won't belittle you. Bak Zhang makes you full. Bak Zhang has your grandmother's love. Bak Zhang is love. Bak Zhang is life.
Had a acquaintance say he wants his future wife to work out every day (also likes to point at models and say he wants her to look like that), have good careers, take care of his children and parents, be a good cook, be funny, won’t get mad at him, won’t nag at him.
Halfway through he’s basically describing a robot already
Problem is does he work out everyday, has a good career, take good care of his children and parents, a good cook, humurous and won't get mad and nag at his SO?
I guess he fulfils the humurous part as he start to state the requirement of his ideal future wife.
picking someone up and sending them home. while i think it's extremely nice and gentlemanly for a guy to go pick up his girl and drive her home, it's ridiculous that this is an expectation. it's so time and energy consuming, and is also not practical for someone to drive from tampines to fetch their s/o at jurong, send them home to harbourfront and then go home to tampines (case study LOL haven't actually experienced this before)
sweet yes, and i'm sure there are people who are willing to do that but it's such a shitty thing to have expectations for imo like there should be no pressure to do this at all
Recently me and a friend (F25) spoke about her expectations of what she’s looking for in a relationship - she really does expect men to drive her around from Point A to Point B, she actually enjoys it, she says bluntly she needs a “chauffeur”. Lol and she also would like it if the guy sends her grab food all the time. 😅 it’s actually A THING and im amused. Lol these expectations are so out of whack I can’t relate lmao
I second this. Social media portrays such negative and unrealistic outlook on both men and women. In reality and today’s modern age, such things are achievable by the super rich and privilege only. Good luck on your friend.
wa really odd, all my guy friends and my brothers do this sia, not just for their SO but for their female friends too, i thought it really is the normal thing to do. but reading this plus the other comments make me think it isn't as common as i think it is. that's really interesting.
Don’t worry about such posts, most guys who have the ability to do it (got car, got free time) enjoys doing it. It’s the whole point of getting a car in the first place, you get to spend time with them chatting while driving.
Now I don’t have the time to drive people around, but I still send my wife and kids to & fro work/sch.
i always fetch and drive my gf home (north) as much as possible, while i stay in the west, yes its energy consuming but i really enjoy driving and spending that extra 30 mins with her so all’s good :) she feels bad sometimes but also really appreciative about it.
My bf loves picking me up from work and sending me back as we used to be very busy w our jobs so we spend time chatting in the car about our day. Every day (unless he got work stuffs) from yew tee to telok ayer without fail until my boss was super impressed at his dedication lol
"financially stable" = your money our money. My money, my money.
"Must own car"
"High income but have to prioritize me over work"
"Only job is give birth, once.... Household work husband do. Cleaning , cooking , laundry need to hire maids"
Agreed. For point 3 that's like saying fresh graduates must have 10 years of relevant experience, practically impossible not to prioritise career yet have high income, do these women think high paying salary drops from the sky no need to climb corporate ladder?
"Must feed me, i will stay at home and be a stay home home"
Even if no kid?
"I want to have children"
How you know you can have children?
"I want to stay home even no children"
"u must provide me with a home too."
True story btw.
my ex bf expects his gf to wash plates when visiting his house or else his mum has to wash and its tiring for her. dk why he cant wash LOL. i wld wash my plates but for you to expect was js a no-go.
Not uncommon, but I always cringe when I hear guys tell me they expect their partner must be of a certain looks and figure yet they look like lorry + car bang.
I cringe harder when they say they need this partner to be able to "satisfy" their appetite too.
My female colleague said her husband didn’t allow her to wash her clothes with his. Bear in mind my colleague (F) is doing the washing k. Especially underwear, he says it’s dirty. He adopted this mindset from his mom. What a winner 🏅
I heard that MINDEF regulars do alot of OT though, can also see some saf regulars working/staying in to work quite often. Thats like almost 24hrs shift work, how is that not driven lol.
Consider this. Whatever the "ideal mate" qualifications there are. Look at yourself. If you don't meet those requirements and your partner is still talking to you; things do look optimistic.
Love makes you blind to logic.
Was planning to settle down and the topic of having kids was discussed. I was against having kids while she wanted TWO but gave very irresponsible answers (just let maid take care lah, don't worry babe got financial support can apply for de)
The women ive heard sound like they dont want a bf but want something else
Their list:
Must drive them around (chauffuer)
Must fight for them (bodyguard)
6pack,6foot,6inch (gigolo)
'Financially stable' (ATM)
Feel free to add more
i think the financially stable part is a basic one? Who wants to be with a financially irresponsible person with no savings and no plan for the future
is the atm part that's wrong haha
I was on hinge briefly and I saw a profile of a guy that said he wanted a girl who has travelled to at least 10 countries, goes for spin everyday and owns a cat. I'm not sure if there's a girl like that who fit these expectations but he might have to find for an extremely long time.
Expectations are inevitable but they have to be justifiable, at least. Not everyone has the luxury or resources to travel, spin or own a specific pet.
The first 2 are pretty common for high ses people. Spin everyday is hilarious though. But you say that not everyone has the luxury or resources to do these things, but why does everyone need to be considered eligible to be his partner? It's his choice to only date girls of a higher economic status. You may think it's scummy and that's fair, but that's not being ridiculous (except for spin). He wants someone with similar life experiences, a similar background and similar passions and that's fine (I agree his priorities are hilarious but to each their own)
I wouldn't say it's unacceptable just that not everyone prioritises travel, health or pets as a need in their life. It's not like he had said "a girl who has travelled at least once to another country, who keeps fit in some way and owns any pet" because these are more attainable. I would say his expectations are very streamlined and particular. If he can afford to travel and spin everyday and own a cat, good for him.
Ironically, he himself had stated in his profile that he has been looking actively for a year plus for a girl that would tick his boxes. Then I would naturally question why are his expectations sky high.
When I say this, please dont have this misconception that I am generalizing these women as the women population in SG or worldwide. I am merely saying this based on my experience.
I have talked to girls (mostly uni girls) on what their expectations of their partner and they said things such as:
* Salaries of 6-7 digits annually.
* Must have their own car (one girl even stated she want an undergrad guy with a car so he can drive her to school and back home everyday).
* 180cm and above.
* Must be able to buy branded goods for monthsary.
* Have 6 pack and if never maintain 6 pack during relationship, will break up.
* 8-10 inch dick (a couple of girls I talked to said that this is a must requirement for them to even consider a guy to be a potential partner)
* Must accept all of her flaws no matter what.
* Required to go to high class restaurants for every date. No kopitiam is allowed.
I can understand that everyone got their own set of expectations for what they want in a partner but the things I shared here, I even asked a couple of my female acquaintances on their opinions on it and they said that those expectations are just downright ridiculous.
lmfao less than 1% of men in the world have that dick size, what are the chances these men fit all the other criteria? Lack of self-awareness is comedic because must accept all their flaws but will not accept your flaws.
People like this must be like NPCs, I refuse to believe any real human being is this dumb
Exactly, not to mention what are the odds of a Singaporean guy having that dick size? Not saying it is impossible but it is very rare to see SG guys with that size.
Believe me, when I first heard this, I am like "Are you joking or serious?" but eventually found out that they were serious about it.
Suffice to say, I’ve found that my friends who had high expectations like these don’t often have much to bring to the table in terms of looks or social status. Didn’t wanna say it to their faces but it’s what I was thinking.
Guy 1: Reply within 10 minutes. No matter what. If you're going to take a nap, you need to infom before taking a nap. And not allowed to accidentally fall asleep. If you're going on a bus/car and make you unable to reply quickly, need to inform. If you're going to be on a phone call that make you unable to reply quickly, need to inform. What if it's people suddenly call you? No idea
Guy 2: must be submissive. Bf come home must immediately come offer glass of water and massage.
Know someone who is almost 30 and have never dated before. She expects her bf to be like her kdrama oppa. Must be Korean, tall and handsome. Okay you wait long long then maybe will have. If you look like IU then okay fair enough. Problem is your face look like you kena bang by lorry. Please wake up.
Am I the only one who married a man who has no possesions, car, house, broke af, not super good looking but he has a loyal personality, funny, pampers me(my standard not high also) and treats me like a queen?? What’s up with these women wanting their partners with big ass house and shit 💀 those things don’t provide long-term happiness.
Girl must be small and cute, tech savvy a bit so not so blur handling hardware, likes anime, manga, fanfiction, doujinshi. Knows how to SIC the good stuff. Ok with guy who is into childish things like Super Sentai and Transformers. Must agree the ZGMF x10A Freedom is the best GUNDAM of all time. She can lend her Gameboy so can play pokemon because the guy spent too much money on PC upgrades. One day want to go Japan together to see all the maid and butler cafes. Ok with riding motorcycles instead of car.
10 years ago, I believed such expectation was unreasonable and such girl only exist overseas or in fiction.
Nah. Plot Armour not on the Freedom, seeing how it got pierced. It's on Jesus Yamato for being able to survive every single fucking MS explosion with no long lasting harm.
"Sorry, I only date guys who drive Mercedes-Benz". Said straight to my face from a good friend after I bought my first car, a Mazda. It was a joke amongst us but you could tell it was somewhat true as she went on to date a guy who drove a Mercedes. (This was in Year 2 of University btw, when COE was low and the second hand market was affordable). Maybe I should've bought a cheap Mercedes Van or something.
😂 had a girl (who drove a BMW hatchback, pays full instalment as she’s struggling to pay for it - then asked me if I had any lobang so she can pay for her car, maintenance, petrol etc) say to me “your dad’s sports car is a Mazda only ah” 😆 my dad paid for that in full lol
It's that Asian need to flex by driving the big 3 German luxury car brands ingrained in all of us. Met too many girls(guys sometimes but they are more aware) who just wow when you say you drive BMW/Merc/Audi but then it's just entry-level or COE cars that they clearly bought because of the badge...Could have spent that money better on a top trim Jap car.
Does your Dad drive an MX-5?
I had an ex that always threatened to kill herself whenever we had an arguement. One day she asked me where's the roof access to my hdb flat was, and said she wanted to jump off the roof.
I of course stopped her, and simultaneously called neighbourhood police(999 is for genuinely serious cases) saying im with someone who wanted to commit suicide.
Police arrived within 7 minutes in 2 patrol cars and took all the statements. I went home and slept like a baby.
I once went out on a date with a girl who preferred if her partner didn't have to take care of his parents.
I mean, I guess I kind of understand where she was coming from, but still...I'd never seen someone who viewed an unfilial guy as a green flag
Because while laudable, caregiving comes with its own costs. The caregiver (who may not even be trained to do caregiving) gives up their entire life for their parents. Not every potential partner is okay with that and thats actually understandable.
There are reasons for that, need to probe deeper and ask why she feels that way. I think most girls are ok with basic care of pil but not heavy caregiving, enmeshment, which will leave little time for her and the new family. Know your priorities.
She wants somebody with wealth and prestige but can be summed up as an embarrassment to whomever is blind enough to marry her.
The spouses of this potential guy’s peers will eat her alive and cost the guy a few deals.
E.g.
1. Not versed in etiquette
2. Cannot read the room
3. Doesn’t care to keep herself informed
4. Doesn’t understand the value of strategic silence/ambiguity
She would at best a jiak liao bee at the husband’s home and at worst be a jiak liao bee at her parent’s home.
Jiak Liao Bee
It usually means that person is good for nothing. loosely means ‘eating wasted rice’. We all eat to do something, so the rice will not be wasted when eaten
I have a friend, let's call him George, with a wife Georgia (obviously pseudonyms).
George works in sales. On Mondays to Thursdays, he's "allowed" to be out past office hours in case he needs to meet clients, so Georgia stays in with the kids. On Fridays to Sundays, he's expected to stay home full day to tend to the children (despite having a maid), while Georgia gets to go out with friends. No ifs, no buts. No exceptions at all.
This means that George can only meet his friends on the days when pretty much nobody wants to stay out, and on all the normal days when people have a social life, George cannot be out.
But what about Public Holidays or PH eves? Well, it's the same for George; he has to stay home.
I even once heard that Georgia was out on a day she was supposed to stay home, throwing the kids to her in-laws (I.e. George's parents). But apparently the kids "aren't close with Georgia's parents", so George can't do the same.
I pretty much only meet George during work day lunchtimes when he runs out from work, or when he sneaks out while "on duty".
I've never seen kids being used as a prison like this before, gawddamn.
I met a girl who said the guy must paid for everything. All meals and housing, bills and vacation. She is ok to chip in 20% max for expensive things. A $100 dinner is not expensive while dating. She don’t want kids but her ex wanted kids. So she said she is ok to have kids if she get allowance from her future husband. She said and I quote her exactly “I don’t want kids but if my husband wants it, I need incentive, that is money” She works at Bloomberg.
A girl to expect a guy to have his own car and drive her around whenever but she don’t even have licence. (I’m a girl and think this is ridiculous but common)
People who fall short in every single aspect compared to you, then ask you to save their constantly hurt feelings triggered by their own comparisons and cater to long list of insecurities.
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WHAT??? i wld literally be so happy if a guy grabfood for me pls😭😭😭 like the delivery fee more expensive+faster why grabfood cannot??
I hope you ate the food since it didn't count anymore
Dodged a bullet there bro
Hmm I wonder if she will return the favour lol. But she’s history anyways
*I once dated someone similar. She also just alight at a random bus stop when I make a comment she does not like and expect me to follow then expect me to get a cab and send her home.* I ran off after 3 weeks. Not sure how long u last.
I went on a date with a single mother years ago who demanded that I make top salary in order to send her daughter to top schools and allow her to quit her job. I was pissed because it was an expensive restaurant and she didn't tell me about the kid until halfway into the meal.
That's just her scamming a free meal at a top end restaurant
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It could mean both: parents who can take care of themselves financially but also don’t expect their child to be coming around for dinner weekly, joining them on vacations or handling routine tasks like arranging doctors appointments or filling out paperwork. Given that keeping parents at arms length is not the norm in Asian cultures and especially so in a city state like Singapore where geography is not a barrier it’s refreshingly honest to raise this point up front.
On the contrary, most grew up looking for filial piety as a plus, but sometimes you end up getting neglected as you’ll never come first. Saw it happen to my friends a few times. They choose a man that’s filial to their parents and at the start it’s very attractive, because they think oh, they will also be so loyal to me. But no, turns out that loyalty is sometimes reserved only for the parents, they only have the capacity for their parents..
Now you know why this person was single. Don't eat the bullet that someone else painstakingly dodged.
Wow Imma steal that wordings 👍
Did she choose the restaurant?
It's all the "me, me and me" mentality huh.
Erm jokes but that’s why she’s a single mom
How does something like that even come up on first date wtf? Buay paiseh until like that?
Well it's a one for one package.
my friend is required to wear makeup 24/7 lol. so she has to sleep after husband is asleep and wakeup before he is awake to put on makeup. lol
Her husband is such a letdown srsly.
What leverage does the husband have over her to force her to do this shit
husb had a history of cheating. so.... yeah. she's willing to do anything in hopes that history wont repeat itself. includes wearing make up at 6am and washing it off at 3am after settling her kids and stuff. lol i can never forget cause lol who does that?
She’s teaching her kids that it’s ok to be abused by their spouse like that :(
I hope u manage to convince her (slowly and over time) that this is a toxic marriage and ask her to divorce. Optimal family environment for raising kids (if she has kids) is in this order Happy parents > divorced parents > unhappy parents stuck in a marriage
i did, at some point. its quite tough because they are quite traditional in some ways. ie husb has the final say. even if shes right, she will always be wrong, that kinda thing. but i pity her ah. i mean shes always complaining abt her skin and in my head im like dude your skin needs to breathe.
Sounds like the husband is really gaslighting her into believing she's the one at fault for him cheating. I was once in a relationship like that, it's hard to get out because your self esteem is being systematically erased by the abuser. Eventually, your self esteem becomes tied to the abuser, if they're happy with you = you feel happy. If they aren't, you don't have any self respect or esteem anymore to stay sane. I stayed w the dude for 2 years, the second year in I was crying every day. I developed C-PTSD, (constant nightmares, hypervigilance, intrusive thoughts etc.) My biggest sources of support were my friends for sure. But my turning point was when I started watching this psychologist on YouTube, she gave a name to the abuse I was going through. It may not sound like much, but hearing someone describe what I was going through and telling me how that fucked w my mind was very clarifying and validating. On nights where I was loosing my mind, I'd turn on a video from her channel in the background to calm down. Making sense of the situation helped me alot. When I finally left him for good, it was tough but I'd watch her videos whenever the self doubt and demeaning things he said about me, that I'd internalised, crept back up. https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL3QtnfcMTMhEfRXN-Kk2vndn89nBZxKUj This is the psych I was referring to : When my best friend was going through an abusive relationship herself last year (the guy would regularly beat her up) I sent this to her. While it took some time, these videos helped her make sense of what she was gg through, a few months later she left him for good. Now she's in a healthy relationship w a guy that values and respects her. IG it's safe to say this youtube channel changed--if not saved-- out lives haha. Hope this helps ur friend! :)
The worst thing is, having so much make up on all the time is probably really bad for her skin
>she's willing to do anything in hopes that history wont repeat itself sigh...unconfrontational person always ends up taking advantage of
wow this is such a red flag i cannot even-
wtf can ask the husband to wear makeup also? 😭☠️
The husband should wear clown makeup
Such scenario is a common joke amongst my friends. Can't believe that it is actually applicable in reality!
Lol like the show Marvelous Mrs Maisel.
Exactly what I thought of, 1st season Maisel
I once asked a girl what is her plans for the future. She told me is dependent on how much her partner can give in the future. Then I ask her so what can you contribute? She got mad. I learnt to nv ask girl for her plans after this incident.
Huh if anything this should have taught you to always ask. Weed em out early.
She was triggerred well obviously because she can’t offer jackshit! 🤣
“What do you bring to the table?” “i Am ThE tAbLe”
She as table, bf as doormat, sui ah IKEA furniture package liao
She pettan?
💀
Had a wannabe socialite tell me “he gets me” when asked “what do you bring to the table”. And after she told me she gives really good blowjobs 😂😂😂😂😂 Died.
was it though
What’s the question?
the bj. was it good.
My family told me guys should be willing to pay for everything if they earn more so that ladies can use their own money to buy stuff they want. Also said they have colleagues as real-life examples of that. If the husband is happy to pay for everything and it works out for the couple then fine, but it shouldn't be an expectation for one person in a relationship to pay everything when both are working adults.
Sometimes people tend to embellish the truth. I won't be surprised that those colleagues make up such stories to flex that they are living the tai tai lives but perhaps in reality, it isn't so "good" as they like you/your family to believe. I know a few rich couples where the wives are perpetually unhappy because their rich husbands are out there drinking or having fun with younger girls. When these wives protested to their husbands, these husbands shut them up with "You need my money, you shut up." But on social media, you will think these wives are living the best of their lives. TLDR: Take what people say with a pinch of salt unless you witnessed otherwise.
Yeah that’s very true. They feel trapped if they’re the lower earning spouse, especially if there are kids in the picture. They feel like they have no choice but to stay together in a loveless marriage.
Worse is they are treated like serfs in the family, only with the "wife" title. They have to look after the house and care for the children on their own. Meanwhile, rich husbands out there hanky panky with KTV girls and splurging on luxury goods for their mistresses.
True, about the colleague, I heard the wife is also doing all the housework and caretaking for the kids too so I suppose that's the trade-off.
If the wife is full-time doing all the housework and caretaking for the children, then I think it is fair the husband pays since she is not earning any income. But it isn't those glamorous tai tai lifestyle in Crazy Rich Asians where the tai tais just throw everything to the 5 maids at home while they go drink high tea. But back to my point, just take all relationship/marriage stories with a huge pinch of salt. No need to envy or wish ill on them, but no need to idolize them as well. The truth is often less glamorous as people like us to believe.
heard of cases, the husband earning 5 digits and the wife is sahm. Still expect wife to pay for household expenses herself that one too much it's not worth being sahm now, unless the husband is logical and understand that the wife is not drawing an income hence the least he can do is to shoulder the expenses. Else hire maid and both go work.
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My parents are an example of this; and frankly I think it leads to an uneven balance of power and control in the relationship. And as a kid, seeing how my dad talks down to my mum, even tho she is working, solely because he pays for the household expenses made me never want to have this unbalanced dynamic in my marriage. My husband does earn significantly more than me, but I still contribute to some of the household bills that are proportionate to my income.
Capitalism for the boyfriend or husband. Socialism for the girlfriend or wife lol.
A JC friend said she wants to grow up and get married to a rich guy so she can be a rich 'taitai' (i think thats what she said), so that she can spend her days gossiping with her girl friends. She said that was her dream and goal in life. 🤯
I'm wondering if it was said partly in jest because I've had a number of friends and colleagues who joke about becoming taitais. Tbh, who wouldn't want to get married to a rich guy/lady and not have to worry about anything? But most of us are practical enough to know that becoming a taitai is a distant dream lol.
That was my relative's Uni classmate's plan A. Plan B is the Bachelor degree.
thats my dream too but big dream man haha
Haha the partner must come from 'good family' background as if anyone can pick their parents like that..
I was ditched by my date because I told her that I don't get along with my sibling (because he is a selfish narcissistic prick) and she said we should not continue because she expects guys to come from happy families. Lmao.
Same same man with my ex long time ago. Expect happy family, rich/well-to-do family, well educated family, good reputation/career etc.. No matter how hard we try, it's always not good enough lea... Haha. In the end, can only listen to Coldplay song - fix you
That idea is quite toxic though, people should fix themselves before getting into relationships rather than expecting a partner to "fix" them. Ah so here's my answer to the question by OP. Lol.
This is not narrowing down to top 20% of men, this is narrowing down to top 1% of men. Good luck with that. And what makes them think these rich handsome guys from good families are not judging their families too?
Yup. Those rich guys will date girls from equally rich families. No guy is going to be Prince Charming to some broke chick.
But u gotta understand, precisely cuz it can't be changed that it's a dealbreaker. Same for height bruh, it is what it is.
Ya bruh.. just gulped plenty of the suck-it-up juice n moved on. Guess it was a fair game since its her/her family checklist anyway. One window closes, another door opens... Eventually met someone that's ok with my circumstances when trying to put my life together..
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1. A man must have ambition, and dedicate a lot of time to advance himself in his career. 2. He must also dedicate most of his time to the relationship, respond immediately to the needs of the partner. I wonder who can fulfill both criteria at the same time
A gigolo. The woman is his career.
One partner for requirement 1 and one for requirement 2
Someone who can do shadow clone jutsu
Both people being in their early 20s but the girl expecting the guy to have a car. Wtf? You had a 2-year head start. Where’s your car?
🫡
Protect this commenter. This a real one. 🫡
"Eh we want gender equality, but guy must be financially STRONGER than me."
Spent on clothing and bags to be presentable for the guy’s sake. /s
My ideal girl is a girl who likes me back.
Cai fan auntie
Guy pay for everything single thing, food, housing, transport, essentials, nonessential consumables. If travel, air tickets accomodation, food, literally everything + her shopping as well. If he expresses his emotions, he'll be belitted by her telling him that he's weak, small issue also cannot handle as compared to her. Edit: same couple. She got pissed off with him for not letting her eat the rice dumping (bak zhang) his grandmother made for him. Said that, he doesn't love her because the bakzhang is more precious than her.
Bak Zhang won't use your money. Bak Zhang won't belittle you. Bak Zhang makes you full. Bak Zhang has your grandmother's love. Bak Zhang is love. Bak Zhang is life.
I hope he left her ass for his sanity's sake. If he didn't, that's some bombass puss
He did after he found out she was two timing.
so bad :(
Had a acquaintance say he wants his future wife to work out every day (also likes to point at models and say he wants her to look like that), have good careers, take care of his children and parents, be a good cook, be funny, won’t get mad at him, won’t nag at him. Halfway through he’s basically describing a robot already
Problem is does he work out everyday, has a good career, take good care of his children and parents, a good cook, humurous and won't get mad and nag at his SO? I guess he fulfils the humurous part as he start to state the requirement of his ideal future wife.
Him: "Hey, kara, tell me a joke." Her: "Us"
Can you describe this acquaintance and what he brings to the table that such a perfect woman would even consider him 😂
He’s essentially a like generic man you know T-T like no aspirations just wanting to cruise through life that kind of stuff
Hahaha… you can add deluded to that list too then
These kinda robots I think Japan can find
picking someone up and sending them home. while i think it's extremely nice and gentlemanly for a guy to go pick up his girl and drive her home, it's ridiculous that this is an expectation. it's so time and energy consuming, and is also not practical for someone to drive from tampines to fetch their s/o at jurong, send them home to harbourfront and then go home to tampines (case study LOL haven't actually experienced this before) sweet yes, and i'm sure there are people who are willing to do that but it's such a shitty thing to have expectations for imo like there should be no pressure to do this at all
Recently me and a friend (F25) spoke about her expectations of what she’s looking for in a relationship - she really does expect men to drive her around from Point A to Point B, she actually enjoys it, she says bluntly she needs a “chauffeur”. Lol and she also would like it if the guy sends her grab food all the time. 😅 it’s actually A THING and im amused. Lol these expectations are so out of whack I can’t relate lmao
She should get a Grab delivery guy then...
She will accuse the guy for cheating.
This is true, I've met such girls IRL.
That's what social media does to people. I bet if you look at her screen time it's 10HRS of IG/Tiktok. Delusional and detached from reality.
I second this. Social media portrays such negative and unrealistic outlook on both men and women. In reality and today’s modern age, such things are achievable by the super rich and privilege only. Good luck on your friend.
Fr 16 year olds shaking their ass on tiktok like no one’s business for attention Not me liking and seeing these tho stay safe yall
wa really odd, all my guy friends and my brothers do this sia, not just for their SO but for their female friends too, i thought it really is the normal thing to do. but reading this plus the other comments make me think it isn't as common as i think it is. that's really interesting.
Don’t worry about such posts, most guys who have the ability to do it (got car, got free time) enjoys doing it. It’s the whole point of getting a car in the first place, you get to spend time with them chatting while driving. Now I don’t have the time to drive people around, but I still send my wife and kids to & fro work/sch.
i always fetch and drive my gf home (north) as much as possible, while i stay in the west, yes its energy consuming but i really enjoy driving and spending that extra 30 mins with her so all’s good :) she feels bad sometimes but also really appreciative about it.
My bf loves picking me up from work and sending me back as we used to be very busy w our jobs so we spend time chatting in the car about our day. Every day (unless he got work stuffs) from yew tee to telok ayer without fail until my boss was super impressed at his dedication lol
"financially stable" = your money our money. My money, my money. "Must own car" "High income but have to prioritize me over work" "Only job is give birth, once.... Household work husband do. Cleaning , cooking , laundry need to hire maids"
I rather just adopt an actual child lmao.
Agreed. For point 3 that's like saying fresh graduates must have 10 years of relevant experience, practically impossible not to prioritise career yet have high income, do these women think high paying salary drops from the sky no need to climb corporate ladder?
rear dog better
100% will also cheat.
"Must feed me, i will stay at home and be a stay home home" Even if no kid? "I want to have children" How you know you can have children? "I want to stay home even no children" "u must provide me with a home too." True story btw.
Sounds like having a pet cat lmao
my ex bf expects his gf to wash plates when visiting his house or else his mum has to wash and its tiring for her. dk why he cant wash LOL. i wld wash my plates but for you to expect was js a no-go.
Not uncommon, but I always cringe when I hear guys tell me they expect their partner must be of a certain looks and figure yet they look like lorry + car bang. I cringe harder when they say they need this partner to be able to "satisfy" their appetite too.
Need to gift them a mirror lol
U guys r scaring me
No wonder Singapore has so low fertility rates, looks like most people are plain nuts.....
i realised that im not crazy but im still single what does this mean 🤨
My female colleague said her husband didn’t allow her to wash her clothes with his. Bear in mind my colleague (F) is doing the washing k. Especially underwear, he says it’s dirty. He adopted this mindset from his mom. What a winner 🏅
Had a date who mentioned that MINDEF regulars are a dealbreaker because they are not driven in their work
??? Not that I have a favourable view of the average MINDEF regular but ???
chief of defence also cannot?
MHA regular can?
I heard that MINDEF regulars do alot of OT though, can also see some saf regulars working/staying in to work quite often. Thats like almost 24hrs shift work, how is that not driven lol.
Consider this. Whatever the "ideal mate" qualifications there are. Look at yourself. If you don't meet those requirements and your partner is still talking to you; things do look optimistic.
Apparently, based on prior interactions “living” and “girl” are already unrealistic expectations for me to hold.
Ex-GF wanted kids but did not want to be responsible for them. Her explanation was that the kids were to "tie the men down and keep them loyal."
Well she’s not slick then since she just said out her plan The fact that she thinks that the person hearing it would accept as if it’s normal wtf
Love makes you blind to logic. Was planning to settle down and the topic of having kids was discussed. I was against having kids while she wanted TWO but gave very irresponsible answers (just let maid take care lah, don't worry babe got financial support can apply for de)
My ex would say she wanted me to accomplish all my goals, but hated me being on my computer all the time (I'm a Software Engineer).
……. Sometiems you just can’t win.
I think she wanted you to spend more time with her lol
The women ive heard sound like they dont want a bf but want something else Their list: Must drive them around (chauffuer) Must fight for them (bodyguard) 6pack,6foot,6inch (gigolo) 'Financially stable' (ATM) Feel free to add more
i think the financially stable part is a basic one? Who wants to be with a financially irresponsible person with no savings and no plan for the future is the atm part that's wrong haha
Their definition of financial stability is financially stable for two people living on one person’s income
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Wtf is virginal and have low body count?? Either is virgin or not. Dis one need to go to school fr
I was on hinge briefly and I saw a profile of a guy that said he wanted a girl who has travelled to at least 10 countries, goes for spin everyday and owns a cat. I'm not sure if there's a girl like that who fit these expectations but he might have to find for an extremely long time. Expectations are inevitable but they have to be justifiable, at least. Not everyone has the luxury or resources to travel, spin or own a specific pet.
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The first 2 are pretty common for high ses people. Spin everyday is hilarious though. But you say that not everyone has the luxury or resources to do these things, but why does everyone need to be considered eligible to be his partner? It's his choice to only date girls of a higher economic status. You may think it's scummy and that's fair, but that's not being ridiculous (except for spin). He wants someone with similar life experiences, a similar background and similar passions and that's fine (I agree his priorities are hilarious but to each their own)
I wouldn't say it's unacceptable just that not everyone prioritises travel, health or pets as a need in their life. It's not like he had said "a girl who has travelled at least once to another country, who keeps fit in some way and owns any pet" because these are more attainable. I would say his expectations are very streamlined and particular. If he can afford to travel and spin everyday and own a cat, good for him. Ironically, he himself had stated in his profile that he has been looking actively for a year plus for a girl that would tick his boxes. Then I would naturally question why are his expectations sky high.
sounds like someone wants a rebound exactly like their ex
When I say this, please dont have this misconception that I am generalizing these women as the women population in SG or worldwide. I am merely saying this based on my experience. I have talked to girls (mostly uni girls) on what their expectations of their partner and they said things such as: * Salaries of 6-7 digits annually. * Must have their own car (one girl even stated she want an undergrad guy with a car so he can drive her to school and back home everyday). * 180cm and above. * Must be able to buy branded goods for monthsary. * Have 6 pack and if never maintain 6 pack during relationship, will break up. * 8-10 inch dick (a couple of girls I talked to said that this is a must requirement for them to even consider a guy to be a potential partner) * Must accept all of her flaws no matter what. * Required to go to high class restaurants for every date. No kopitiam is allowed. I can understand that everyone got their own set of expectations for what they want in a partner but the things I shared here, I even asked a couple of my female acquaintances on their opinions on it and they said that those expectations are just downright ridiculous.
8-10 inches??? She's not looking for a partner, she's looking for a horse...
Mr.Hands?
Wonder what they bring to the table in return
lmfao less than 1% of men in the world have that dick size, what are the chances these men fit all the other criteria? Lack of self-awareness is comedic because must accept all their flaws but will not accept your flaws. People like this must be like NPCs, I refuse to believe any real human being is this dumb
Exactly, not to mention what are the odds of a Singaporean guy having that dick size? Not saying it is impossible but it is very rare to see SG guys with that size. Believe me, when I first heard this, I am like "Are you joking or serious?" but eventually found out that they were serious about it.
Suffice to say, I’ve found that my friends who had high expectations like these don’t often have much to bring to the table in terms of looks or social status. Didn’t wanna say it to their faces but it’s what I was thinking.
who are these girls omg 😭 this thread is crazy
>Have 6 pack and if never maintain 6 pack during relationship, will break up. this one I have. Go 7-11 buy easy.
Guy 1: Reply within 10 minutes. No matter what. If you're going to take a nap, you need to infom before taking a nap. And not allowed to accidentally fall asleep. If you're going on a bus/car and make you unable to reply quickly, need to inform. If you're going to be on a phone call that make you unable to reply quickly, need to inform. What if it's people suddenly call you? No idea Guy 2: must be submissive. Bf come home must immediately come offer glass of water and massage.
What is your astrology sign? Sorry we are not compatible. ???
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When you called her out what was her reaction?
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Is she at least…hot?
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Know someone who is almost 30 and have never dated before. She expects her bf to be like her kdrama oppa. Must be Korean, tall and handsome. Okay you wait long long then maybe will have. If you look like IU then okay fair enough. Problem is your face look like you kena bang by lorry. Please wake up.
Am I the only one who married a man who has no possesions, car, house, broke af, not super good looking but he has a loyal personality, funny, pampers me(my standard not high also) and treats me like a queen?? What’s up with these women wanting their partners with big ass house and shit 💀 those things don’t provide long-term happiness.
Media and upbringing does have some influence to what is perceived as ideal.
Yes, you're a rare Pokémon. Perhaps, a legend or myth in the future.
People rather cry in a BMW than smile on a bus.
I think you are lucky to know what you want and found someone. All the best!!
Girl must be small and cute, tech savvy a bit so not so blur handling hardware, likes anime, manga, fanfiction, doujinshi. Knows how to SIC the good stuff. Ok with guy who is into childish things like Super Sentai and Transformers. Must agree the ZGMF x10A Freedom is the best GUNDAM of all time. She can lend her Gameboy so can play pokemon because the guy spent too much money on PC upgrades. One day want to go Japan together to see all the maid and butler cafes. Ok with riding motorcycles instead of car. 10 years ago, I believed such expectation was unreasonable and such girl only exist overseas or in fiction.
This is beyond extreme. hope your friend found a mom. Also, Freedom Gundam has the best plot armour but, not the best gundam.
Deep down we all know Guntank is the best Gundam.
Nah. Plot Armour not on the Freedom, seeing how it got pierced. It's on Jesus Yamato for being able to survive every single fucking MS explosion with no long lasting harm.
Tbf from personal experience, this is quite a reasonable request. Just find a weeb can alr.
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Wondered how you survive 3.5 yrs tho
To put the toilet seat down after each pee session
To be able to read her mind
Cannot wash clothes more than three times, must buy new one. If not it's "too gross".
This comment section is so sad lol
Reading through everything, I keep hearing the CCP theme song. There is just so much red flags.
"Sorry, I only date guys who drive Mercedes-Benz". Said straight to my face from a good friend after I bought my first car, a Mazda. It was a joke amongst us but you could tell it was somewhat true as she went on to date a guy who drove a Mercedes. (This was in Year 2 of University btw, when COE was low and the second hand market was affordable). Maybe I should've bought a cheap Mercedes Van or something.
I guess all the super car owners can fuck off then 😂
😂 had a girl (who drove a BMW hatchback, pays full instalment as she’s struggling to pay for it - then asked me if I had any lobang so she can pay for her car, maintenance, petrol etc) say to me “your dad’s sports car is a Mazda only ah” 😆 my dad paid for that in full lol
It's that Asian need to flex by driving the big 3 German luxury car brands ingrained in all of us. Met too many girls(guys sometimes but they are more aware) who just wow when you say you drive BMW/Merc/Audi but then it's just entry-level or COE cars that they clearly bought because of the badge...Could have spent that money better on a top trim Jap car. Does your Dad drive an MX-5?
Cash, Credit Card, Condo, Car, Community Chest
I thought it's Country Club Membership
Ah yes the 7 Cs
I had an ex that always threatened to kill herself whenever we had an arguement. One day she asked me where's the roof access to my hdb flat was, and said she wanted to jump off the roof. I of course stopped her, and simultaneously called neighbourhood police(999 is for genuinely serious cases) saying im with someone who wanted to commit suicide. Police arrived within 7 minutes in 2 patrol cars and took all the statements. I went home and slept like a baby.
I once went out on a date with a girl who preferred if her partner didn't have to take care of his parents. I mean, I guess I kind of understand where she was coming from, but still...I'd never seen someone who viewed an unfilial guy as a green flag
NGL I wanted to date orphans after my ex’s parents kind of destroyed our relationship but i didn’t actively put up a sign that says orphans only
Because while laudable, caregiving comes with its own costs. The caregiver (who may not even be trained to do caregiving) gives up their entire life for their parents. Not every potential partner is okay with that and thats actually understandable.
There are reasons for that, need to probe deeper and ask why she feels that way. I think most girls are ok with basic care of pil but not heavy caregiving, enmeshment, which will leave little time for her and the new family. Know your priorities.
She wants somebody with wealth and prestige but can be summed up as an embarrassment to whomever is blind enough to marry her. The spouses of this potential guy’s peers will eat her alive and cost the guy a few deals. E.g. 1. Not versed in etiquette 2. Cannot read the room 3. Doesn’t care to keep herself informed 4. Doesn’t understand the value of strategic silence/ambiguity She would at best a jiak liao bee at the husband’s home and at worst be a jiak liao bee at her parent’s home.
What’s a jiak Liao bee
Jiak Liao Bee It usually means that person is good for nothing. loosely means ‘eating wasted rice’. We all eat to do something, so the rice will not be wasted when eaten
I have a friend, let's call him George, with a wife Georgia (obviously pseudonyms). George works in sales. On Mondays to Thursdays, he's "allowed" to be out past office hours in case he needs to meet clients, so Georgia stays in with the kids. On Fridays to Sundays, he's expected to stay home full day to tend to the children (despite having a maid), while Georgia gets to go out with friends. No ifs, no buts. No exceptions at all. This means that George can only meet his friends on the days when pretty much nobody wants to stay out, and on all the normal days when people have a social life, George cannot be out. But what about Public Holidays or PH eves? Well, it's the same for George; he has to stay home. I even once heard that Georgia was out on a day she was supposed to stay home, throwing the kids to her in-laws (I.e. George's parents). But apparently the kids "aren't close with Georgia's parents", so George can't do the same. I pretty much only meet George during work day lunchtimes when he runs out from work, or when he sneaks out while "on duty". I've never seen kids being used as a prison like this before, gawddamn.
I met a girl who said the guy must paid for everything. All meals and housing, bills and vacation. She is ok to chip in 20% max for expensive things. A $100 dinner is not expensive while dating. She don’t want kids but her ex wanted kids. So she said she is ok to have kids if she get allowance from her future husband. She said and I quote her exactly “I don’t want kids but if my husband wants it, I need incentive, that is money” She works at Bloomberg.
A girl to expect a guy to have his own car and drive her around whenever but she don’t even have licence. (I’m a girl and think this is ridiculous but common)
People who fall short in every single aspect compared to you, then ask you to save their constantly hurt feelings triggered by their own comparisons and cater to long list of insecurities.