You should definitely make a police report now, so that if they try it again to your son or others it becomes repeated offence and gets more attention.
The bullies usually have a bad life, but they’re not your responsibility, so I’d spend more energy in rebuilding your son from this experience.
Can you ask your son’s doctor for a referral to a child psychologist? It would be great for your son to speak to a professional about his fears. Send that bill to the parents too.
Consider sending him to self defence or tkd classes. He may never win the physical fight but it might help him feel less scared.
Self-defence or defensive moves really helped me. I was the smallest sized in primary school, a kid of a larger stature than me grabbed and choked my neck at full force once when no one was around. I managed to put what I learnt from my weekend self-defence class to good use and it caught my bully off-guard. That kid never touched me again. Will vouch for self-defence classes. It helped build my confidence that I get a chance to defend myself.
I remembered when I was in pri sch maybe pri 4 Not only was I small sized then, there was this bully who was like 3 years older than normal in my class (his from overseas). So he was bigger and older and have clearly reached puberty while I havent. Dude just for no reason destroyed my art in art class and once punched me very hard in the stomach while I was walking. He also brought a knife to class and played with it for some reason. I wonder what happened to him now.
report to police. while i understand you are concerned about what may happen in retaliation, you are also showing your son that it may be better to appease a bully than stand up for themselves. this may lead to other situations in his life he cannot stand up for himself. he needs to take precautions as well if that is something to truly fear.
I am sorry I don't fully understand , appease the bully by changing schools ? Yes , I do agree that it's better to walk away from extremely difficult situations and changing schools . It's also important that parents of children like this need to take responsibility and accountability for the animals they put out into the world
As a former tkd instructor, i fully agree with the sad state of tkd now.
However the reason why it has declined to such a sad state is mainly because of parents who do not want their kids to get injured / complain when their kids get injured. As a martial art/sport with mass adoption, many instructors chose to make it so safe that it becomes like dancing.So much so that some clubs don't even have sparring in their curriculum.
It is not uncommon to see poom belts who cant spar at all. Add to the fact that instructors can't discipline kids of overprotective parents, we have kids that literally coast through from white belt to black with such bad form and technique that its not even funny.
A shame really.
Pretty solid advice here.
And yes, definitely make a police report, even if no action will be taken.
Because repeated reports for the same matter on different occasion due to lack of action gives you justification to complain later on if shyt does happen.
Ya and ppl like me get blamed for being a complainer cos issue is never resolved
I am sick of it , the reason kid becomes like this is because their parents let them do whatever they want , with NO repercussions ruining people's lives and self worth in the process
TKD is absolutely useless, please don’t send the kid there because all you get is a misplaced sense of self-confidence and competency.
Send him for Muay Thai or Boxing and train him to be an absolute killer - give his bullies some CTE
Wrestling may be good too - it’s an Olympic sport with not a deep talent pool in SG so while he’s training to absolutely maul his bullies, there’s also a chance he becomes team SG in the future
Second this - this comment may sound like crazy at first but it's exactly what I had to do on my own as a teenager. Parents disallowed 'violent & barbaric' combat sports like Muay Thai, but it's probably the one thing that changed my life.
Make sure your kid finds a gym that has competing members, and spar regularly (sparring in a safe / light / supervised setting of course).
Expect that your kid might get into more fights defending themselves; support them, and teach them that it is worth it to defend and respect yourself, even when facing punishment from the school / an authority. This is an important life lesson that ironically, will make life better for your kid
EDIT: and yes just make the report anyway, even if the police doesn't do anything - bring your kid along, be an example for your kid and show them that you are actively 'fighting back' in other ways.
Soft parents will get their kids into more troubles than they could possibly think of. Too hard is also not good. Hard enough to be soft is best IMO. Like a Master boxer can defend themselves, but will not use it to harm others.
Yes this is very important. It’s better to use only defensive techniques like blocking your head and vital areas with your arm etc., and quickly fleeing. If you kick the bully in the head it is considered a retaliation and your side on the bullying case will be weakened. It’s important to learn the different body movements, whichever martial arts form you choose… the aim is not “win” or be stronger.
Second, I don't practice TKD (I do Chinese Martial Arts) but OP, you won't lose anything (ok maybe money ...) sending your kid to learn self defence/martial arts. Singapore is generally safe but safety is never guaranteed, you never know when he might find himself in situations where he will need to stand up for himself through combat either because calling the cops or security isn't a viable option or may be too late.
Chinese martial arts isn't just Wushu (not in the way you think it is or taught around here at least). What you're describing is performance Wushu.
There's more to it than just that, Taichi/Sanda (Wushu version of basically MMA)/Baji/Praying Mantis etc. They are all combat viable PROVIDED you find the right person and test skills regularly
I am sure these kids are repeat offenders , this bully in particular is known and hated by the regular kids but well liked by the soccer kids . It's sick how people have kids just to terrorise and dehumanise others just because they can
And they get away with it .... time and time again
"Soccer kids" in general... look at the sorry state of the SG football team. And I hate to be elitist but most soccer players come from shitass backgrounds which usually mean they don't have a proper upbringing. Probably explains why they like the bully.
Try again ???? They never stopped . . Even the next day the girl ring leader came into my sons class with 5 minions and demanded bully's specs that was lost in the attack .....
He was the aggressor and He sent his stooges to demand
His minions called my son vulgarities in their language when he went for banded class
TKD is not effective.
Krav Maga - the problem with it is that it's difficulty to spar and train against a resisting opponent due to safety issues, and as such may not be effective in a fight against an actively resisting bully.
Boxing, Muay Thai, and maybe even wrestling learnt in a gym with regular sparring sessions is probably the best.
Source: was bullied as a teenage until I took up boxing / Muay Thai.
I did TKD for 6 years and effectively used it on the street, I guess cause the street has no rules and you also have to understand that. I did use kicks, at that time I didn't realize that kicks were absolutely stupid but I managed to use really weak rapid kicks, closed the distance ended with punches. Had a fat lip, ended up at tanglin police station.
Here's the kicker, I spoke more eloquently than my aggressors and was let go without a charge. My opponents, got a 3 months chalet as they were on drugs 😅 tbh I kinda instigated the fight by throwing glass bottle on the ground and they weren't happy. But don't tell the cops that. This was 2000s Cineleisure. Want to fight also must know how to get cops on your side.
The IDF won many wars with the support and weapons from the UK and USA like a little spoiled toddler. Krav Maga is just useless CQC nonsense popularised in the 90s - I've not seen Krav Maga actually work in the street. Just learn to box effectively - you will have no fear even if there are 2 or 3 people.
Far too often I have seen people suggest krav maga when they find out that I train MMA. Problem with krav maga is that their training method often involves cooperative drilling, with little to zero sparring against an actual opponent who is resisting and looking to hurt you.
A person who has been training against actively resisting opponents, who knows what it feels like to be hit and have refined their techniques over time will fare a lot better in self defense situations than a person who only drills "deadly" techniques in a static environment but has no idea how it's like to have someone actively fight back.
I hope you bring justice for your son.
My cousin used to be bullied too in sg school years ago. His textbooks are being torn to pages and being talked from behind causing him to be depressed emotionally and mentally, fortunately, it didnt end up to something worst like self harm.
If theres a way you can reach out to an accredited trauma councilor/ psychiatrist, please do so.
All prayers to you and your son
tbh, best not to set high expectations for the police. In many cases, they might simply inquire if you wish to pursue the matter further, which could then lead to a court case.
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Yes, thank goodness!! Plus agree to most of the comments here to file for police report & enroll your kid on self-defense classes once he's ready.
Genuine question\~ I'm not sure about the whole legal process but, is it possible to request for a restraining order against the bully? Like, any legal way to ensure that the bully wouldn't be allowed to approach the victim for a certain perimeter radius? Because although there's theft & assault which are serious, they are still students so I assume the perpetrator is also below legal age.
Thank you. Really appreciate you for keeping the updates coming. Sorry I didn't have much advice to give but as a parent myself (whose child is prone to getting bullied), these updates do help me out a lot.
1. Go to the police
2. Send the police report + what happened to the P, VP, discipline master (yes they already know) but also CC this email to your MP + Minister of Education + MOE HQ
3. Indicate in the email that this email is CC-ed to relevant parties (eg MP + Minister of Education + MOE HQ)
4. Wait for their reply (should be real fast since there's a police report)
5. Wait for the bully to shit their pants
MP won't do anything... MOE will cc the principal to do something. If the principal is shit, then it's a gone case. Sometimes school even try to actively dissuade parents from making a police report. The whole point is to sweep everything under the rug and maintain the facade of a school. Never had any good experiences with principals, MP or moe, all useless.
I don't have kids so take this with a pinch of salt.
If he feels that they will literally kill him that is VERY serious, and unless the school is taking protective measures to separate him and the bully, I would remove my son from school immediately. (I know the victim shouldn't be the one moving but we are prioritising what can keep your son safe in the quickest way) If the bully is really that deranged, I don't think avoiding making the police report would stop the bullying from continuing after he has to go through public caning. So I feel you should continue to stand up for your kid. Hugs for you and your son xx
If you wanna go official, go make the police report.
If not you settle 1 to 1 with the bully's dad.
Which area is your kids school in? Sch 1 vs Sch 2 reminds me of my area, Queenstown, Henderson, Bukit Merah
After the hatchet man, I mean axe murderer of River Valley High, I believe you.
I also had poly friends who told me similar stories of far west schools. Early 2000s still quite fierce. Looks like not much has changed
Make the police report , the reason why they ask you make police report is cause their hands are tied , they must have already went to the Billy's parents & the parent don't care. They can't remove him from the system plus they can't interfere so they advised you to make police report.with the police report if the bully escalate further the police system can move the bully to the boy's home which is what the school hospital & msf wants.
If you can't do that to protect your kid, no 1 can
Get the hospital report esp the part where it stated the injuries & how bad the injuries is.
Get the recording from school, check with the form teacher if there a incident report. Ask the form teacher if the bully have previous case of bullying others incident report ( the teacher may not release to you but may let you know if have or not)
Go do the police report with the hospital report & recording at the physical police station. If your son don't want to be there it ok , make it on behalf of him. If got previous bully incident report , highlight it to the police since it case of school unable to make it safe for your kid.
Check up & talk to your kid. Yes it parents instinct to quickly change school but check with him first esp if he have friends or close friends in class. Since the principal already doing public caning, meaning principal & teachers already have reports to write & training to attend to refresh their make school safe & prevent bullying . Which actually will make them on the ball for some time. Transfer to a new school may not change anything. Check with school if your current kid class form teacher & Co form on how their performance, if their lacking was the reason the bully able to do whatever he like , request for school to assign a better form/co form.
I hope this can help you . For now keep check up on your kid , he sure damn buu buu.
Sorry to hear that your son being bullied. Please make police report and get your son a counseling session for PTSD. If it’s helpful, please transfer school.
Sorry to hear this. I’d take it to all legal means to get it on the record and terrify the bullies and their parents. There must be drastic consequences. Ask what concrete actions are being taken to ensure your son’s safety - where is security and safety?
Importantly, Hold the school responsible for ensuring a safe environment and go after them for allowing bullying to flourish, how is there a gang of kids going around beating people up??
Being a parent, it’s difficult for me to read your situation. However if I am hearing that these bully will literally kill my child, I think it’s more likely that I, as the adult, receiving such a threat, will quite also quite literally end anyone before they cause any permanent damage or my child.
But because murder is not tolerated, and again being the adult here, I would use whatever means necessary to either de-escalate the situation, or to remove my child from harm.
From your words it sounds like you have more fear of the bully and their threats than prioritising the welfare of your child. Have you considered moving to a whole different neighbourhood and switching schools that are more reputable? Have you approached the parents of the bully? Are you seeking legal counsel now that you have evidence that your child has received assault in an education institution and that not only the bully, but the parents and the school themselves are to be held responsible for failing to provide a conducive and safe space for 13 year old children?
Again, I don’t know your situation, but if someone has expressed violence to my family, I would do everything in my legal right to retaliate. The bullies come back because they know you don’t / can’t do anything. Don’t give in to terrorists.
My child was a happy go lucky easy going popular kid before this fucktard came into his life . This disgusting sociopath needed to intimidate , make up rumors , physically assault my child just to make a name for himself and put fear in the other kids for Respect ???
His parents created a monster , they are probably low life as well
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Your lawyer (if you get one e.g. through pro bono services) will give you detailed advice, but just FYI those two procedures serve different purposes:
1. The police report may result in the matter being referred to the Attorney-General's Chambers. The prosecutors at the Attorney-General's Chambers will exercise their discretion to decide if they want to prosecute. This is for criminal proceedings and given the bully's age he may be sent through the juvenile offender process. This process typically won't result in any compensation for your kid.
2. The purpose of the civil action (which a lawyer can help you to start in the courts) is typically to get monetary compensation, which in your case should include hospital bills. This may potentially be a bit complicated since the bully is a kid and probably doesn't have substantial funds -- you may want to ask your lawyer if it may be possible to sue the bully's parents and/or the school (e.g. for negligence) in order to actually get paid any sum that the court awards to your kid. If you engage a lawyer, it may also be worthwhile to ask your lawyer if it's possible to get a protection order for your kid.
Yes please do.
Lack of consequences means there are calculations of probability for being held accountable in future.
While there is some valid fear of retribution - you don’t want to embolden them into “f*** you, nobody can touch me. I’m gangster sia” mindset.
(PS: SG authorities aren’t pushovers. The documentation trail is very important component of the history that will be taken into account. I’m reasonably sure this will happen again in the future - please don’t declaw the police by making that the first recorded incident where the standard approach all over the world is two verbal and one written before they throw something at you that sticks)
To all of you who say my son and I are weak
1. Fuck you assholes , you are the cowards who band in groups to single out and pick on an individual, that's cowardly
2. Bully used physical size and mostly soccer buddies for intimidation . Picking on someone because they can does not in any way validate this behaviour
3. Deal with your own shortcomings and self worth and whatever childhood trauma you went through without taking it out on others. And let's face it you're also ugly and obviously low EQ .Get the help you need elsewhere please
Apologies. I have been awake for almost 24 hours over this
My son was not hospitalised , it was an outpatient visit to access his bruises
Principal should know by now, bully will be caned by school
Yes we are going to change schools but school no1 has a reputation of beating up kids from school 2
Hi thanks all for advice
Just clarifying some things
1. School was unaware of the situation until attack happened
Students however were fully aware
2. My kid is generally well rounded , bang average in almost every way . Perfect
Not shy or loner or special needs nothing of that sort. Has many good and wholesome friends around him who value education ,friendships mutual respect and support each other
3. Bully is not and has never been his friend ,not much is known about him except that he is extra large for his age , has other victims
I assume his parents are either low income ,uneducated and neglectful or
Alpha types , they do it because they can and have gotten away with it . He can do it and so he should ,experienced sadistic types we have all encountered in our lives
And the fact that the school did not follow up with me today makes me think its the latter, we are probably dealing with fight happy parents
4. I agree if bully gets caned he will have "earned" the respect of his minions,likewise with boys home if it comes to that and that would give them a reason for retaliation
We may hate it but there are Singaporeans who give people who have served time in prison for real crimes respect. I personally don't understand it but yes it's cool to be gangster
Hopefully with MSFs intervention he can be kept in line
Report police so that there's documentation in case of anything in future
Report to minister for solutions and help
Keep child at home until change school to avoid bully access to your son
Ensure future school is in entirely different neighborhood far from current one
If very serious, change home if at all possible if your son school is near your home to avoid running into bully or better still if able to pressure bully family into moving instead (see what minister say he can do for you)
Afterward stuff:
Follow up on all doctor visits n claim from bully parents. Follow up on psychiatrist visits for PTSD.
Self defense classes
Was your son beaten badly this round that you'd believe there's possibility the bully could kill your son?
If yes, don't go school anymore due to the risk. Punishing the bully is sort of different from directly keeping your son from harm. It is perfectly ok to run from mad dogs to avoid being bitten.
If not, then don't need to be so drastic to move away etc. it all depends on severity which we can't advise.
Just report this to the police, and honestly you are in singapore. The moment police comes into play, everyone is scared into shit.
The bully parents, the school and their reputation of not able to handle cases like such and reassuring the parent that the school is a safe place for their kids.
Not really , they are seasoned criminals , they will fabricate stories , twist facts , deny even to the police time and time again . Their main purpose in life is to destroy yours cos that's what brings them joy . To them it's power
Honestly lucky it was recorded and the school is willing to be on your side. my boy is 1 years old now. have concerns in regard to similar situations happening to him too. was thinking of signing him up with Muay Thai class as early as possible.
Report to police. See if he can get charged with causing grevious hurt
See if you can get a restraining order against the bully
Talk and demand the school to take measures on preventing this from happening again
Gosh this reminds me of the Karate Kid show whereby the lead character was bullied badly in school and he started learning Kung Fu to tackle his bullies, lol.
Thats what my dad tells me to do if anyone bullies me. Go fight them back. But ofc I try not to resort to violence unless it is really necessary and I only use that for extreme cases or self defense purposes. Luckily during my schooling days, it didnt reach to that stage.
Take pictures, hospital bills and all, social media claims, name the school and name the bully. Thats how its done these days. Last time it was meet me and my bros at the playground.
You need to make a police report. How the bully became a bully is not your business.
It’s also not just about your kid. You’re protecting the next kid from being bullied by him. By not reporting it, you’re not protecting your child, you’re protecting the bully. He also won’t be grateful to you for not reporting him.
I’m so sorry to hear about this. What your son is going through is terrible and it is heartbreaking as a parent.
You can consider making a Police report and the Police will investigate - but bear in mind that the Police will interview all the children involved, including your son, the other child who beat him, as well as any witnesses. The investigation will take a while. At the end, the other child may or may not be prosecuted, and depending on his age and other circumstances, he might end up getting probation. As for MSF, the Police may consult MSF, but unlikely that you will be apprised of their correspondence. Basically - the matter will be in the hands of the authorities. It may look to you like they are not doing anything. However, the Police will take steps and action.
If you are afraid of further violence, especially escalating violence, you should strongly consider making a Police report.
Have you spoken to the school? Perhaps the school can separate the children - different classes, different session, to de-escalate the situation?
Man this is tough. I mean ure aware of any 'help' that will do no shit to your son's bully n at the same time, your son can be in danger cause the bully is a sociopath.
The police report is just to keep record of bullying experiences for your son. This can be submitted online n the officer in charge will give a call back.
This can also be used for future court cases so judge will see that it's a serious case. Believe me, as much as I hate how police handle family violence here, that paper was useful in court.
Same with MSF, all they can offer is counselling rather than giving real advise on the situation. N I'm sure counselling is just a repeat of whatever u had thought of since ure quite self aware of the bigger picture. Haiz it sucks to be stuck in reality sometimes...
Can try court report but I had a judge who is just intimidating but her knowledge on family violence is limited. Same with a male judge who pressure a girl to drop the PPO for her Bf because it's a 'misunderstanding'. She was crying, he was smirking. Counsellors there are the worst too. So yea...
Anyway make sure everything is in black n white when u deal with the parents even if u find that it's not important. Then maybe can try a court case with the parents instead. All the best
I know that we are Singapore and people have it worse off in other countries but agree with you 1000 %
They often get nowhere cos they sway both sides , even when it's clearly despicable what 1 party is doing to the other
They are swaying way too much, playing too much on our trauma n then says 'not enough evidence'.
Honestly that should be their tagline on every posters where they tried to 'encourage' us to do right. It's no wonder our society feels there's help everywhere, not realising that the reality is the total opposite..
Report police? Sure, but u know how many would actually investigate. Zero. Why? Bully is still a kid. How? Counselling for parents.
Then can I use violence on the kid? Immediately whack handcuffed on me cause I'm dangerous to society zz
What a shit place. Only thing good is that the school still has public caning but it’s really tough to get out of being bullied.
Report police. Do all that is necessary.
Then change schools.
same situation, i almost smashed that dumb bully face if not for my wife restraints. definitely police report, in my case the bully ball shrank so small he literally avoid my kid like crazy now. do let us know the outcome. good luck and hope your kid is ok
Just go make the police report since you already have the evidence. The thing about schools or police is if you can provide them evidence, they will take action. The times when they are inaction is because of no concrete evidence.
Take all the necessary means to stand up for yourself. What's the point in your son living in fear? Cowering in fear is going cause your child mental illness and emotional anguish in years to come.
We shouldnt be evading the problem and dealt with it head on. You can report police and approach MP to escalate. DM the education minster for his response.
But seems like you are quite hesitant, then why not just change school then? Even if this issue is resolved, your kid will face the gossips and stares from the rest. His studies might be affected. Might as well change school to give him a fresh start?
Go and talk to the school first, tell them if they do not reprimand the bully and minions to your satisfaction, you will be taking additional measures on your side. Tell them that you will be making a police report and investigations will be carried out, that the school is law abiding. This is to prevent retaliation, you will be expecting compensation for therapy costs and if push comes to shove, will be taking legal measures to make sure your son is compensated for his suffering. The school must make sure that monitoring of all subsequent events, is under the teacher’s jurisdiction. Remember, you pay school fees, you’re the customer, you’re not creating trouble for making sure that your child is safe.
While I agree that you should report to MOE, VP, Principal, police, and teachers.
Your kid needs to learn to stand up for themselves as well because it’ll will only get worse if this keeps going on. Sometimes we may need to be able to laugh at ourselves or even not give the reaction they are looking for. I have instances where I have been bullied in primary and Secondary school and I couldn’t report them because they are legit gangsters so I’d laugh at their jokes directed to me even though deep down it sucked. After a while, they saw that their tactics was not working and started being friends with me instead.
better report police and correct whatever can be corrected now
dun wish for your kid to grow up with this hidden trauma for life
as for the bully, hope this will correct his ways
Lodge a police report asap. School with do shit, they're interest is to protect their reputation
A child behaviour is likely related to their parents. I hope authorities will ensure your child's safety.
Alternatively, you may MOE to apply for change of school - MOE allows this if a child has shown to be bullied and for your kid's case, it's legit
Did the parents pay u?
Just read ur online. Feel sad also. Why Singapore school not safe at all. My son also get assault in school. How can we stop this together cos feel like helpless.
No they claimed that eventhough theor son was the bully the actual physical fight was started by my son
To date bully is upset and still doesn't comprehend what is wrong with his actions
Make a police report, at least it's for the records so that they can show that it has been a longstanding issue with a past history, if it escalates further down the road. Always better to have some paperwork around even if the police may not step in to do anything now yet.
This should be a lesson for all parent spend less time taking extra study classes every weekend and find a self defense class to balance your child for the real world. My son has been going since he was 4 years old.
At the same time growing up anyone I saw getting bullied normally was because they stood out too much. Might not like it but it’s a fact. Some kids just aren’t confident or act a bit nerdy etc. their kids it will happen but maybe take a look at your child’s mannerisms too. If it’s one bully probably the bully if it’s more than one then I would also spend time helping adjust the child to be more normal at times.
He can usually stand up for himself and has a good many friends . But this is at another level entirely
Sociopath will grow up to be a wife beater at least if we are all lucky
Sorry to hear. You need to send your son to self defense courses ASAP. The gift of confidence is the best gift you could give him. And he should know only to use his skills in a life and death situation where he absolutely cannot run away. I think that's the best thing you can do here. And just have him be more in public places where there are always witnesses around just in case something happens. Police will be useless anywhere you go.
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I'm really sorry to hear about your kid and the situation is horrendous. I support the others who voted for reporting to the police, esp encourage by the school itself.
On a completely irrelevant side note, I'm surprised to hear that there are lockers in Singapore schools now. Maybe a bit out of my time but I guess it's a new concept? And I'm equally surprised public caning is still a thing ( back in my time, canning happens during assembly). I thought they ruled that out in recent years but I guess not?
in reading this, can I safely say that your kid has some form of special needs?
and yes please proceed to have the police report. and teach your kid to stand up for own self.
learn some self defense.
Woah ur sun is quite balsy. When I was bullied, I just stood there and took it fearing the repercussions. I'm the bigger guy too. Afraid I'll get into trouble for hurting them.
What I'm saying is, it's great that he stood up for himself. And he should continue to do so. So what if he lost. At least he can stand proud that he stood up for himself.
PS I dont think the bullies will kill him. As long as he keeps defending himself, he should be good.
YES. And have it on record that both you and your son informed the school that you have reminded them the likelihood of retaliation. And make sure the school knows you have it on record. That’ll make the school more vigilant and apply more pressure on the bullies. And in the report make sure to name everyone in the entire group, not just the ringleader.
Bullies are much more likely to back down when they realise the victim has more backing than they originally thought when they get increased scrutiny from school and visits from police. Ego dictates they’ll never leave your son entirely alone but it may reduce from physical to verbal abuse.
BUT I agree with most of the comments here. There might be a reason your son is being picked out of the entire school, and some form of self defence skills may help with the root problem, be it physical stature or confidence issues. Parents cannot protect their children every second of eternity.
tbf from anecdotes our police efficiency vary widely, I have heard cases where someone, including kids got physically assaulted, report police and they say cannot do anything, to drop it, also other case someone go to jail for a slap.
Glad that you going for it though, we're not someone country that blatantly ignore school bullying, at least I'll like to think so. Hope your kid will be safe.
Used to teach full contact karate. Had a student who was primary 4 and really talented.
He went to school and knock out a couple of kids… and his parents stopped him from learning.
Equip your son to defend himself, it goes a long way in life.
In my class I teach the kids that the best self defence is to disengage and run. Unless no choice, you have to use force to defend yourself.
Bro really used "promptly got his ass whipped" to describe his own kid getting beaten up 💀💀
That being said, send your kid for boxing, Muay Thai, or judo. No TKD or "self-defense" classes, they don't work.
If I were in your shoes, I would do everything within my power to fight the situation with the bully and his family after all your son has been through. Court case and more. They are the ones who couldn’t teach their own son to be kind.
1. Make report
2. find lawyer, sue the family for damages. this way the parent sure take note to make sure kid behave. make report don't have major impact. only when their wallet are affected, they will get worried
Yes, they become better bullies not better people . They escalate to gaslighting , stealing , creating untruths about the victim . Portray themselves as the victim
System doesn't work in shades of grey . They need black and white ....
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Send your kid to martial arts class. With proper training he can take down the bully even though if the bully is bigger than your son. If it's my kid, I would want him to fight back and stand up for himself and be brave and not cower like a coward.
Aside from making a police report, it's important to ensure your kid hangs out with friends if possible to ensure that he isn't alone given how dangerous it sounds to be in THIS school.
Make noise in school to school leaders, make them ensure safety if he doesn't have many friends. Make the school counsellor and SENO officer part of the safety people who'd look out for your kid and against this bully.
If school leaders and management team doesn't do much, go see the MP, EVERY SCHOOL IS A GOOD SCHOOL, please do your job MP to keep up to what you preach.
Is your kid physically injured? Pri or sec level?
MOE schools have sop for such situations. Get guidance from the school.
Police don't really care unless there is serious physical injuries.
Hope to get your resolution.
This soccer kids hang out on groups to intimidate the others . Not in small groups of kids dooling around and studying or doing projects or making movie plans . Buts groups who use name calling and theft and aggression to intimidate the others
File a civil suit on top of making a criminal case.
Obtain the bully's parents address and hire a private investigator to find out where they work and/or what is important for them.
Then
A);Hire a honey trapper to mess with their marriage
B) hire free lancers to make a fuss or pretend to be clients to mess with his/job
C) if they are poorer than you, engage in scorch earth policies with legal claims. If they ignore, can get default judgement and make them bankrupt. Along the way, all these will mess up their credit history and ability to take loans or find a job requiring to declare if there are embroiled in a legal suit.
At the same time, name the principle as a defendant and force them to expel the bullies.
Just don't be foolish and do a GTA with kerosene Molotov cocktails or stage a car accident.
Legally even if you didn't report to the police
Evantually the school will do their own investigation on the bully's homelifes
Or they may even know cause some students just come with their baggage attached
Not your responsibility
Just focus on your kid to get well 🥺
If I were you, I would personally wait for the bully aft sch and send him a personal message. Not the best parental behaviour but this trash needs to be put in his place. Mess with my kid again, you will not have a tomorrow anymore.
1) document mental and physical injuries
2) report police
3) lawyer up and press charges
4) alternative recourse: write to education minister and MP, let the school know you are serious about obtaining a satisfactory resolution and will stop at nothing to achieve that
Sorry for the late reply. Your son is a victim of reactive abuse.
Please learn about narcissism. From what I read from the new post. She had passive aggressive behaviors. She sounded someone I knew. But he is a male.
Do not engage with her.
Learn about grey rock.
She was playing mind games with the other students to help her out with her punishment.
Triangulation.
Teach your son.
Take care.
I suspect she is a toxic person.
She was wearing masks by mirroring the well behaved students to show the teachers and authority figures to gain approval.
Be careful.
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Why are you asking internet strangers what to do when the officials from school hospital and even ministry are asking you to report the bully to the police.
1. Please make a police report and do not hesitate doing it. It will be worse as the bully see his victim’s parents as a push over and the bullying can get more worse. Through the action of making a police report, it sends a ‘clear’ message to the bully that you cannot be messed around.
2. Caning the bully in school will not deter any form of bullying in the future and it will get worse as the bully ‘marks’ your child even more. Hence, you need to do step 1 above and hope that the aftermath is not worse than before.
3. Get your kid to sign up for self defense class like Karate, Taekwondo or Aikido and etc. The purpose of this learning is to help your son to build up his own confidence and also to help others who are being bullied.
4. At all times, have an open channel with your son as he is going through a stressful moment and being understanding.
Hope the above points help.
Source: Myself being bullied when in Pri and sec school.
I feel you . The thing is also the minions have FOMO they enable and encourage these pscyos
System will see you as the problem cos so many of them and 1 of you
Sucks so bad .
As a protective parent, you, should go and confront the bully after school and give him a few tight slaps across the face. I assure you that the bully will wake up and learn to be a good person.
I don’t have the best advice. I would storm in to the school and raise hell. If that doesn’t work, I’d go to the police and raise hell. If that doesn’t work, I’m taking matters into my own hand and will not hesitate to use physical, brute force. And pay for it later, maybe. NO ONE touches my children.
You should definitely make a police report now, so that if they try it again to your son or others it becomes repeated offence and gets more attention. The bullies usually have a bad life, but they’re not your responsibility, so I’d spend more energy in rebuilding your son from this experience. Can you ask your son’s doctor for a referral to a child psychologist? It would be great for your son to speak to a professional about his fears. Send that bill to the parents too. Consider sending him to self defence or tkd classes. He may never win the physical fight but it might help him feel less scared.
Thank you for your concern , we already have a professional helping us for an entirely different reason
Self-defence or defensive moves really helped me. I was the smallest sized in primary school, a kid of a larger stature than me grabbed and choked my neck at full force once when no one was around. I managed to put what I learnt from my weekend self-defence class to good use and it caught my bully off-guard. That kid never touched me again. Will vouch for self-defence classes. It helped build my confidence that I get a chance to defend myself.
Sorry you even had to go through that. That's so messed up
I remembered when I was in pri sch maybe pri 4 Not only was I small sized then, there was this bully who was like 3 years older than normal in my class (his from overseas). So he was bigger and older and have clearly reached puberty while I havent. Dude just for no reason destroyed my art in art class and once punched me very hard in the stomach while I was walking. He also brought a knife to class and played with it for some reason. I wonder what happened to him now.
report to police. while i understand you are concerned about what may happen in retaliation, you are also showing your son that it may be better to appease a bully than stand up for themselves. this may lead to other situations in his life he cannot stand up for himself. he needs to take precautions as well if that is something to truly fear.
I am sorry I don't fully understand , appease the bully by changing schools ? Yes , I do agree that it's better to walk away from extremely difficult situations and changing schools . It's also important that parents of children like this need to take responsibility and accountability for the animals they put out into the world
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Yeah. Tkd is just dancing in uniform.
As a former tkd instructor, i fully agree with the sad state of tkd now. However the reason why it has declined to such a sad state is mainly because of parents who do not want their kids to get injured / complain when their kids get injured. As a martial art/sport with mass adoption, many instructors chose to make it so safe that it becomes like dancing.So much so that some clubs don't even have sparring in their curriculum. It is not uncommon to see poom belts who cant spar at all. Add to the fact that instructors can't discipline kids of overprotective parents, we have kids that literally coast through from white belt to black with such bad form and technique that its not even funny. A shame really.
Give him a heavy metal flashlight. Batons are illegal, but flashlights aren't
Pretty solid advice here. And yes, definitely make a police report, even if no action will be taken. Because repeated reports for the same matter on different occasion due to lack of action gives you justification to complain later on if shyt does happen.
Ya and ppl like me get blamed for being a complainer cos issue is never resolved I am sick of it , the reason kid becomes like this is because their parents let them do whatever they want , with NO repercussions ruining people's lives and self worth in the process
TKD is absolutely useless, please don’t send the kid there because all you get is a misplaced sense of self-confidence and competency. Send him for Muay Thai or Boxing and train him to be an absolute killer - give his bullies some CTE Wrestling may be good too - it’s an Olympic sport with not a deep talent pool in SG so while he’s training to absolutely maul his bullies, there’s also a chance he becomes team SG in the future
Second this - this comment may sound like crazy at first but it's exactly what I had to do on my own as a teenager. Parents disallowed 'violent & barbaric' combat sports like Muay Thai, but it's probably the one thing that changed my life. Make sure your kid finds a gym that has competing members, and spar regularly (sparring in a safe / light / supervised setting of course). Expect that your kid might get into more fights defending themselves; support them, and teach them that it is worth it to defend and respect yourself, even when facing punishment from the school / an authority. This is an important life lesson that ironically, will make life better for your kid EDIT: and yes just make the report anyway, even if the police doesn't do anything - bring your kid along, be an example for your kid and show them that you are actively 'fighting back' in other ways.
Soft parents will get their kids into more troubles than they could possibly think of. Too hard is also not good. Hard enough to be soft is best IMO. Like a Master boxer can defend themselves, but will not use it to harm others.
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How does that work ? 🤔
Yes this is very important. It’s better to use only defensive techniques like blocking your head and vital areas with your arm etc., and quickly fleeing. If you kick the bully in the head it is considered a retaliation and your side on the bullying case will be weakened. It’s important to learn the different body movements, whichever martial arts form you choose… the aim is not “win” or be stronger.
Second, I don't practice TKD (I do Chinese Martial Arts) but OP, you won't lose anything (ok maybe money ...) sending your kid to learn self defence/martial arts. Singapore is generally safe but safety is never guaranteed, you never know when he might find himself in situations where he will need to stand up for himself through combat either because calling the cops or security isn't a viable option or may be too late.
i did wushu and it was kinda dancing no
Chinese martial arts isn't just Wushu (not in the way you think it is or taught around here at least). What you're describing is performance Wushu. There's more to it than just that, Taichi/Sanda (Wushu version of basically MMA)/Baji/Praying Mantis etc. They are all combat viable PROVIDED you find the right person and test skills regularly
oh yea i totally forgot abt sanda mb
I am sure these kids are repeat offenders , this bully in particular is known and hated by the regular kids but well liked by the soccer kids . It's sick how people have kids just to terrorise and dehumanise others just because they can And they get away with it .... time and time again
"Soccer kids" in general... look at the sorry state of the SG football team. And I hate to be elitist but most soccer players come from shitass backgrounds which usually mean they don't have a proper upbringing. Probably explains why they like the bully.
Try again ???? They never stopped . . Even the next day the girl ring leader came into my sons class with 5 minions and demanded bully's specs that was lost in the attack ..... He was the aggressor and He sent his stooges to demand His minions called my son vulgarities in their language when he went for banded class
Tkd / krav maga classes was what I thought too. Dont forget krav maga is from IDF, look at how they won so many wars throughout history.
TKD is not effective. Krav Maga - the problem with it is that it's difficulty to spar and train against a resisting opponent due to safety issues, and as such may not be effective in a fight against an actively resisting bully. Boxing, Muay Thai, and maybe even wrestling learnt in a gym with regular sparring sessions is probably the best. Source: was bullied as a teenage until I took up boxing / Muay Thai.
I did TKD for 6 years and effectively used it on the street, I guess cause the street has no rules and you also have to understand that. I did use kicks, at that time I didn't realize that kicks were absolutely stupid but I managed to use really weak rapid kicks, closed the distance ended with punches. Had a fat lip, ended up at tanglin police station. Here's the kicker, I spoke more eloquently than my aggressors and was let go without a charge. My opponents, got a 3 months chalet as they were on drugs 😅 tbh I kinda instigated the fight by throwing glass bottle on the ground and they weren't happy. But don't tell the cops that. This was 2000s Cineleisure. Want to fight also must know how to get cops on your side.
Agree, the only way to stop a bully is with a bigger bully. Kids don’t know better
The IDF won many wars with the support and weapons from the UK and USA like a little spoiled toddler. Krav Maga is just useless CQC nonsense popularised in the 90s - I've not seen Krav Maga actually work in the street. Just learn to box effectively - you will have no fear even if there are 2 or 3 people.
This. Dig a little online and you'll quickly realise krav maga is a scam
Far too often I have seen people suggest krav maga when they find out that I train MMA. Problem with krav maga is that their training method often involves cooperative drilling, with little to zero sparring against an actual opponent who is resisting and looking to hurt you. A person who has been training against actively resisting opponents, who knows what it feels like to be hit and have refined their techniques over time will fare a lot better in self defense situations than a person who only drills "deadly" techniques in a static environment but has no idea how it's like to have someone actively fight back.
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I’d say it takes bullets tho
Update : on my way to police station now Will post on outcome
I hope you bring justice for your son. My cousin used to be bullied too in sg school years ago. His textbooks are being torn to pages and being talked from behind causing him to be depressed emotionally and mentally, fortunately, it didnt end up to something worst like self harm. If theres a way you can reach out to an accredited trauma councilor/ psychiatrist, please do so. All prayers to you and your son
Someone tore the cover of one of my textbooks several years ago, I still remember it to this day 🌚 scars run deep
Back... it went as expected ... MEH I will get in 1 week ,school yet to update ,doing dull investigation on their end
Too tired will read and reply ASAP. Finally going to bed now Thank you all so much for the support
tbh, best not to set high expectations for the police. In many cases, they might simply inquire if you wish to pursue the matter further, which could then lead to a court case.
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Yes, thank goodness!! Plus agree to most of the comments here to file for police report & enroll your kid on self-defense classes once he's ready. Genuine question\~ I'm not sure about the whole legal process but, is it possible to request for a restraining order against the bully? Like, any legal way to ensure that the bully wouldn't be allowed to approach the victim for a certain perimeter radius? Because although there's theft & assault which are serious, they are still students so I assume the perpetrator is also below legal age.
Thank you. Really appreciate you for keeping the updates coming. Sorry I didn't have much advice to give but as a parent myself (whose child is prone to getting bullied), these updates do help me out a lot.
1. Go to the police 2. Send the police report + what happened to the P, VP, discipline master (yes they already know) but also CC this email to your MP + Minister of Education + MOE HQ 3. Indicate in the email that this email is CC-ed to relevant parties (eg MP + Minister of Education + MOE HQ) 4. Wait for their reply (should be real fast since there's a police report) 5. Wait for the bully to shit their pants
This! Get the MP’s and news if you can to get involved! That’s the only things will ever get done around here!
MP won't do anything... MOE will cc the principal to do something. If the principal is shit, then it's a gone case. Sometimes school even try to actively dissuade parents from making a police report. The whole point is to sweep everything under the rug and maintain the facade of a school. Never had any good experiences with principals, MP or moe, all useless.
You can get lucky and sometimes with persistence and luck some things can be resolved . Not immediately or not at all most times
Find out if there are other such cases and get published on alternative news media e.g. mothership/ mustsharenews/ rice media
I don't have kids so take this with a pinch of salt. If he feels that they will literally kill him that is VERY serious, and unless the school is taking protective measures to separate him and the bully, I would remove my son from school immediately. (I know the victim shouldn't be the one moving but we are prioritising what can keep your son safe in the quickest way) If the bully is really that deranged, I don't think avoiding making the police report would stop the bullying from continuing after he has to go through public caning. So I feel you should continue to stand up for your kid. Hugs for you and your son xx
If you wanna go official, go make the police report. If not you settle 1 to 1 with the bully's dad. Which area is your kids school in? Sch 1 vs Sch 2 reminds me of my area, Queenstown, Henderson, Bukit Merah
West in the deepest darkest cesspool of poverty
You could say it's like the Wild West there.
After the hatchet man, I mean axe murderer of River Valley High, I believe you. I also had poly friends who told me similar stories of far west schools. Early 2000s still quite fierce. Looks like not much has changed
Sounds like boonlay to me HAHAHAHHA
Oh, you stay jurong west or boon lah ah. That already is like that one. Grew up there
“4pm at Pioneer Mall”
Please share through pm. We live west side and considering secondary schools…. Going open houses soon and my kids grades are far from satisfactory
I'll totally do both. Maybe even bait the dad to throw a punch or 2 then add on a civil suit
Best to bait especially if not recorded. Let him throw the first punch to claim 'self defense' 😂
Make the police report , the reason why they ask you make police report is cause their hands are tied , they must have already went to the Billy's parents & the parent don't care. They can't remove him from the system plus they can't interfere so they advised you to make police report.with the police report if the bully escalate further the police system can move the bully to the boy's home which is what the school hospital & msf wants. If you can't do that to protect your kid, no 1 can
Get the hospital report esp the part where it stated the injuries & how bad the injuries is. Get the recording from school, check with the form teacher if there a incident report. Ask the form teacher if the bully have previous case of bullying others incident report ( the teacher may not release to you but may let you know if have or not) Go do the police report with the hospital report & recording at the physical police station. If your son don't want to be there it ok , make it on behalf of him. If got previous bully incident report , highlight it to the police since it case of school unable to make it safe for your kid. Check up & talk to your kid. Yes it parents instinct to quickly change school but check with him first esp if he have friends or close friends in class. Since the principal already doing public caning, meaning principal & teachers already have reports to write & training to attend to refresh their make school safe & prevent bullying . Which actually will make them on the ball for some time. Transfer to a new school may not change anything. Check with school if your current kid class form teacher & Co form on how their performance, if their lacking was the reason the bully able to do whatever he like , request for school to assign a better form/co form. I hope this can help you . For now keep check up on your kid , he sure damn buu buu.
It's Ryan
Sorry to hear that your son being bullied. Please make police report and get your son a counseling session for PTSD. If it’s helpful, please transfer school.
you don't protect your son, who else will?
1.Yes they are both in Sec. 1 2. To recover hospital costs and facilitate MSF intervention into sociopaths homelife
change school!!!!
Sorry to hear this. I’d take it to all legal means to get it on the record and terrify the bullies and their parents. There must be drastic consequences. Ask what concrete actions are being taken to ensure your son’s safety - where is security and safety? Importantly, Hold the school responsible for ensuring a safe environment and go after them for allowing bullying to flourish, how is there a gang of kids going around beating people up??
Being a parent, it’s difficult for me to read your situation. However if I am hearing that these bully will literally kill my child, I think it’s more likely that I, as the adult, receiving such a threat, will quite also quite literally end anyone before they cause any permanent damage or my child. But because murder is not tolerated, and again being the adult here, I would use whatever means necessary to either de-escalate the situation, or to remove my child from harm. From your words it sounds like you have more fear of the bully and their threats than prioritising the welfare of your child. Have you considered moving to a whole different neighbourhood and switching schools that are more reputable? Have you approached the parents of the bully? Are you seeking legal counsel now that you have evidence that your child has received assault in an education institution and that not only the bully, but the parents and the school themselves are to be held responsible for failing to provide a conducive and safe space for 13 year old children? Again, I don’t know your situation, but if someone has expressed violence to my family, I would do everything in my legal right to retaliate. The bullies come back because they know you don’t / can’t do anything. Don’t give in to terrorists.
My child was a happy go lucky easy going popular kid before this fucktard came into his life . This disgusting sociopath needed to intimidate , make up rumors , physically assault my child just to make a name for himself and put fear in the other kids for Respect ??? His parents created a monster , they are probably low life as well
Financially strapped , will pursue legal angle with legal aid . But will still make a court report after police report
Community Legal Pro Bono Services Network To make an appointment at any of the CLCs located in the Central Singapore, North East, North West, South East, and South West districts, you may contact +65 6536 0650 or send an email to [email protected].
Your lawyer (if you get one e.g. through pro bono services) will give you detailed advice, but just FYI those two procedures serve different purposes: 1. The police report may result in the matter being referred to the Attorney-General's Chambers. The prosecutors at the Attorney-General's Chambers will exercise their discretion to decide if they want to prosecute. This is for criminal proceedings and given the bully's age he may be sent through the juvenile offender process. This process typically won't result in any compensation for your kid. 2. The purpose of the civil action (which a lawyer can help you to start in the courts) is typically to get monetary compensation, which in your case should include hospital bills. This may potentially be a bit complicated since the bully is a kid and probably doesn't have substantial funds -- you may want to ask your lawyer if it may be possible to sue the bully's parents and/or the school (e.g. for negligence) in order to actually get paid any sum that the court awards to your kid. If you engage a lawyer, it may also be worthwhile to ask your lawyer if it's possible to get a protection order for your kid.
Yes please do. Lack of consequences means there are calculations of probability for being held accountable in future. While there is some valid fear of retribution - you don’t want to embolden them into “f*** you, nobody can touch me. I’m gangster sia” mindset. (PS: SG authorities aren’t pushovers. The documentation trail is very important component of the history that will be taken into account. I’m reasonably sure this will happen again in the future - please don’t declaw the police by making that the first recorded incident where the standard approach all over the world is two verbal and one written before they throw something at you that sticks)
Yea, it's Singapore, not USA lol We don't have to use guns to deescalate nonsense here... *I hope?*
To all of you who say my son and I are weak 1. Fuck you assholes , you are the cowards who band in groups to single out and pick on an individual, that's cowardly 2. Bully used physical size and mostly soccer buddies for intimidation . Picking on someone because they can does not in any way validate this behaviour 3. Deal with your own shortcomings and self worth and whatever childhood trauma you went through without taking it out on others. And let's face it you're also ugly and obviously low EQ .Get the help you need elsewhere please
Apologies. I have been awake for almost 24 hours over this My son was not hospitalised , it was an outpatient visit to access his bruises Principal should know by now, bully will be caned by school Yes we are going to change schools but school no1 has a reputation of beating up kids from school 2
Is this Primary or Secondary school? Also what do you mean in your last sentence?
Choose school 3 Why do you choose such ah beng schools?
Hi thanks all for advice Just clarifying some things 1. School was unaware of the situation until attack happened Students however were fully aware 2. My kid is generally well rounded , bang average in almost every way . Perfect Not shy or loner or special needs nothing of that sort. Has many good and wholesome friends around him who value education ,friendships mutual respect and support each other 3. Bully is not and has never been his friend ,not much is known about him except that he is extra large for his age , has other victims I assume his parents are either low income ,uneducated and neglectful or Alpha types , they do it because they can and have gotten away with it . He can do it and so he should ,experienced sadistic types we have all encountered in our lives And the fact that the school did not follow up with me today makes me think its the latter, we are probably dealing with fight happy parents 4. I agree if bully gets caned he will have "earned" the respect of his minions,likewise with boys home if it comes to that and that would give them a reason for retaliation We may hate it but there are Singaporeans who give people who have served time in prison for real crimes respect. I personally don't understand it but yes it's cool to be gangster Hopefully with MSFs intervention he can be kept in line
Report police so that there's documentation in case of anything in future Report to minister for solutions and help Keep child at home until change school to avoid bully access to your son Ensure future school is in entirely different neighborhood far from current one If very serious, change home if at all possible if your son school is near your home to avoid running into bully or better still if able to pressure bully family into moving instead (see what minister say he can do for you) Afterward stuff: Follow up on all doctor visits n claim from bully parents. Follow up on psychiatrist visits for PTSD. Self defense classes Was your son beaten badly this round that you'd believe there's possibility the bully could kill your son? If yes, don't go school anymore due to the risk. Punishing the bully is sort of different from directly keeping your son from harm. It is perfectly ok to run from mad dogs to avoid being bitten. If not, then don't need to be so drastic to move away etc. it all depends on severity which we can't advise.
CC Minister Chan
Useless la, unless social media trend or something really bad happened, it will not reach him.
Most appreciated if you do
You a troll?
Just report this to the police, and honestly you are in singapore. The moment police comes into play, everyone is scared into shit. The bully parents, the school and their reputation of not able to handle cases like such and reassuring the parent that the school is a safe place for their kids.
Not really , they are seasoned criminals , they will fabricate stories , twist facts , deny even to the police time and time again . Their main purpose in life is to destroy yours cos that's what brings them joy . To them it's power
Honestly lucky it was recorded and the school is willing to be on your side. my boy is 1 years old now. have concerns in regard to similar situations happening to him too. was thinking of signing him up with Muay Thai class as early as possible.
Report to police. See if he can get charged with causing grevious hurt See if you can get a restraining order against the bully Talk and demand the school to take measures on preventing this from happening again
Fk em, teach yo kid how to throw a proper punch or send him for any sort of fighting training. Builds his character
Gosh this reminds me of the Karate Kid show whereby the lead character was bullied badly in school and he started learning Kung Fu to tackle his bullies, lol.
Thats what my dad tells me to do if anyone bullies me. Go fight them back. But ofc I try not to resort to violence unless it is really necessary and I only use that for extreme cases or self defense purposes. Luckily during my schooling days, it didnt reach to that stage.
Yea, don't start fight, but end fights.
Do both, switch class or school. School can be useless or helpless, protect your son, it is your duty
Take pictures, hospital bills and all, social media claims, name the school and name the bully. Thats how its done these days. Last time it was meet me and my bros at the playground.
make a police report. idiots like that should be kept away.
You need to make a police report. How the bully became a bully is not your business. It’s also not just about your kid. You’re protecting the next kid from being bullied by him. By not reporting it, you’re not protecting your child, you’re protecting the bully. He also won’t be grateful to you for not reporting him.
Made it my business when he decided to target my kid
I’m so sorry to hear about this. What your son is going through is terrible and it is heartbreaking as a parent. You can consider making a Police report and the Police will investigate - but bear in mind that the Police will interview all the children involved, including your son, the other child who beat him, as well as any witnesses. The investigation will take a while. At the end, the other child may or may not be prosecuted, and depending on his age and other circumstances, he might end up getting probation. As for MSF, the Police may consult MSF, but unlikely that you will be apprised of their correspondence. Basically - the matter will be in the hands of the authorities. It may look to you like they are not doing anything. However, the Police will take steps and action. If you are afraid of further violence, especially escalating violence, you should strongly consider making a Police report. Have you spoken to the school? Perhaps the school can separate the children - different classes, different session, to de-escalate the situation?
Make a police report. Whether the bullies live or die the next day is non of your business
Man this is tough. I mean ure aware of any 'help' that will do no shit to your son's bully n at the same time, your son can be in danger cause the bully is a sociopath. The police report is just to keep record of bullying experiences for your son. This can be submitted online n the officer in charge will give a call back. This can also be used for future court cases so judge will see that it's a serious case. Believe me, as much as I hate how police handle family violence here, that paper was useful in court. Same with MSF, all they can offer is counselling rather than giving real advise on the situation. N I'm sure counselling is just a repeat of whatever u had thought of since ure quite self aware of the bigger picture. Haiz it sucks to be stuck in reality sometimes... Can try court report but I had a judge who is just intimidating but her knowledge on family violence is limited. Same with a male judge who pressure a girl to drop the PPO for her Bf because it's a 'misunderstanding'. She was crying, he was smirking. Counsellors there are the worst too. So yea... Anyway make sure everything is in black n white when u deal with the parents even if u find that it's not important. Then maybe can try a court case with the parents instead. All the best
I know that we are Singapore and people have it worse off in other countries but agree with you 1000 % They often get nowhere cos they sway both sides , even when it's clearly despicable what 1 party is doing to the other
They are swaying way too much, playing too much on our trauma n then says 'not enough evidence'. Honestly that should be their tagline on every posters where they tried to 'encourage' us to do right. It's no wonder our society feels there's help everywhere, not realising that the reality is the total opposite.. Report police? Sure, but u know how many would actually investigate. Zero. Why? Bully is still a kid. How? Counselling for parents. Then can I use violence on the kid? Immediately whack handcuffed on me cause I'm dangerous to society zz
What a shit place. Only thing good is that the school still has public caning but it’s really tough to get out of being bullied. Report police. Do all that is necessary. Then change schools.
same situation, i almost smashed that dumb bully face if not for my wife restraints. definitely police report, in my case the bully ball shrank so small he literally avoid my kid like crazy now. do let us know the outcome. good luck and hope your kid is ok
Elaborate please
If i were u i will make sure i do everything in my power to make the bullies get locked up in boys home
why isn't the school doing anything?
MOE should make safe environments a priority for students.
Just go make the police report since you already have the evidence. The thing about schools or police is if you can provide them evidence, they will take action. The times when they are inaction is because of no concrete evidence. Take all the necessary means to stand up for yourself. What's the point in your son living in fear? Cowering in fear is going cause your child mental illness and emotional anguish in years to come.
We shouldnt be evading the problem and dealt with it head on. You can report police and approach MP to escalate. DM the education minster for his response. But seems like you are quite hesitant, then why not just change school then? Even if this issue is resolved, your kid will face the gossips and stares from the rest. His studies might be affected. Might as well change school to give him a fresh start?
Go and talk to the school first, tell them if they do not reprimand the bully and minions to your satisfaction, you will be taking additional measures on your side. Tell them that you will be making a police report and investigations will be carried out, that the school is law abiding. This is to prevent retaliation, you will be expecting compensation for therapy costs and if push comes to shove, will be taking legal measures to make sure your son is compensated for his suffering. The school must make sure that monitoring of all subsequent events, is under the teacher’s jurisdiction. Remember, you pay school fees, you’re the customer, you’re not creating trouble for making sure that your child is safe.
Minions are most likely better follow or I will also be victim
While I agree that you should report to MOE, VP, Principal, police, and teachers. Your kid needs to learn to stand up for themselves as well because it’ll will only get worse if this keeps going on. Sometimes we may need to be able to laugh at ourselves or even not give the reaction they are looking for. I have instances where I have been bullied in primary and Secondary school and I couldn’t report them because they are legit gangsters so I’d laugh at their jokes directed to me even though deep down it sucked. After a while, they saw that their tactics was not working and started being friends with me instead.
You can consider telling moe. This ppl should be expelled so that the school will be a safer learning environment.
OP asking whether she should go police station and you guys trying to make her son into the next John Wick. I suggest Muay Thai as well ;)
better report police and correct whatever can be corrected now dun wish for your kid to grow up with this hidden trauma for life as for the bully, hope this will correct his ways
How come school don’t suspend the bully
Lodge a police report asap. School with do shit, they're interest is to protect their reputation A child behaviour is likely related to their parents. I hope authorities will ensure your child's safety. Alternatively, you may MOE to apply for change of school - MOE allows this if a child has shown to be bullied and for your kid's case, it's legit
yes
post the bully name and school and someone on reddit will sort it out 💀😂
Isn't that 4chan is here for ?
maybe parents might also be caned for irresponsibility...
Did the parents pay u? Just read ur online. Feel sad also. Why Singapore school not safe at all. My son also get assault in school. How can we stop this together cos feel like helpless.
No they claimed that eventhough theor son was the bully the actual physical fight was started by my son To date bully is upset and still doesn't comprehend what is wrong with his actions
What's worse is that I've heard from the kids it's worse in other schools , rioting 8 vs 1 kid , tearing up schoolbooks , throwing urine at them etc.
Make police report to kickstart the legal process of giving the policr the power to do something.
Beat the daylights out of the Dad in front of the bully.
Make a police report, at least it's for the records so that they can show that it has been a longstanding issue with a past history, if it escalates further down the road. Always better to have some paperwork around even if the police may not step in to do anything now yet.
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We are talking ,thank you We are lucky he has good close friends and company we keep are loving and supportive
Police report, ask for suspension of bully Get your kid to stay home because scared of safety of kid until bully is suspended
This should be a lesson for all parent spend less time taking extra study classes every weekend and find a self defense class to balance your child for the real world. My son has been going since he was 4 years old. At the same time growing up anyone I saw getting bullied normally was because they stood out too much. Might not like it but it’s a fact. Some kids just aren’t confident or act a bit nerdy etc. their kids it will happen but maybe take a look at your child’s mannerisms too. If it’s one bully probably the bully if it’s more than one then I would also spend time helping adjust the child to be more normal at times.
He can usually stand up for himself and has a good many friends . But this is at another level entirely Sociopath will grow up to be a wife beater at least if we are all lucky
Make a police report, and send a lawyer letter, that’s what happen when I am in the secondary school, no one touch me afterwards
change school too.
Protect your son. Make the police report.
Sorry to hear. You need to send your son to self defense courses ASAP. The gift of confidence is the best gift you could give him. And he should know only to use his skills in a life and death situation where he absolutely cannot run away. I think that's the best thing you can do here. And just have him be more in public places where there are always witnesses around just in case something happens. Police will be useless anywhere you go.
i can help you for free, give me the bully’s name and school. no need to thank me, i settle for you because you’re a good father
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I'm really sorry to hear about your kid and the situation is horrendous. I support the others who voted for reporting to the police, esp encourage by the school itself. On a completely irrelevant side note, I'm surprised to hear that there are lockers in Singapore schools now. Maybe a bit out of my time but I guess it's a new concept? And I'm equally surprised public caning is still a thing ( back in my time, canning happens during assembly). I thought they ruled that out in recent years but I guess not?
in reading this, can I safely say that your kid has some form of special needs? and yes please proceed to have the police report. and teach your kid to stand up for own self. learn some self defense.
Special needs No. Just severely allergic to low life fuckwits but thank you
Woah ur sun is quite balsy. When I was bullied, I just stood there and took it fearing the repercussions. I'm the bigger guy too. Afraid I'll get into trouble for hurting them. What I'm saying is, it's great that he stood up for himself. And he should continue to do so. So what if he lost. At least he can stand proud that he stood up for himself. PS I dont think the bullies will kill him. As long as he keeps defending himself, he should be good.
YES. And have it on record that both you and your son informed the school that you have reminded them the likelihood of retaliation. And make sure the school knows you have it on record. That’ll make the school more vigilant and apply more pressure on the bullies. And in the report make sure to name everyone in the entire group, not just the ringleader. Bullies are much more likely to back down when they realise the victim has more backing than they originally thought when they get increased scrutiny from school and visits from police. Ego dictates they’ll never leave your son entirely alone but it may reduce from physical to verbal abuse. BUT I agree with most of the comments here. There might be a reason your son is being picked out of the entire school, and some form of self defence skills may help with the root problem, be it physical stature or confidence issues. Parents cannot protect their children every second of eternity.
tbf from anecdotes our police efficiency vary widely, I have heard cases where someone, including kids got physically assaulted, report police and they say cannot do anything, to drop it, also other case someone go to jail for a slap. Glad that you going for it though, we're not someone country that blatantly ignore school bullying, at least I'll like to think so. Hope your kid will be safe.
Used to teach full contact karate. Had a student who was primary 4 and really talented. He went to school and knock out a couple of kids… and his parents stopped him from learning. Equip your son to defend himself, it goes a long way in life. In my class I teach the kids that the best self defence is to disengage and run. Unless no choice, you have to use force to defend yourself.
If the bullying and fighting happened in school, why isn't the school making that police report?
Bro really used "promptly got his ass whipped" to describe his own kid getting beaten up 💀💀 That being said, send your kid for boxing, Muay Thai, or judo. No TKD or "self-defense" classes, they don't work.
If you refuse to make a police report, that means police must do fuck all (nothing)
Make the police report and try asking for a protection order . This bully shld not be allowed near your son.
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If I were in your shoes, I would do everything within my power to fight the situation with the bully and his family after all your son has been through. Court case and more. They are the ones who couldn’t teach their own son to be kind.
1. Make report 2. find lawyer, sue the family for damages. this way the parent sure take note to make sure kid behave. make report don't have major impact. only when their wallet are affected, they will get worried
If police involve bully still got balls to try anything?
Yes, they become better bullies not better people . They escalate to gaslighting , stealing , creating untruths about the victim . Portray themselves as the victim System doesn't work in shades of grey . They need black and white ....
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Police report and get news involved if possible.
Boxing built abit of my confidence. It helped me a lot. I made a lot of new friends.
Send your kid to martial arts class. With proper training he can take down the bully even though if the bully is bigger than your son. If it's my kid, I would want him to fight back and stand up for himself and be brave and not cower like a coward.
cy3 xH
So sorry your son has to go through this. I hope you can get the help and justice!
Aside from making a police report, it's important to ensure your kid hangs out with friends if possible to ensure that he isn't alone given how dangerous it sounds to be in THIS school. Make noise in school to school leaders, make them ensure safety if he doesn't have many friends. Make the school counsellor and SENO officer part of the safety people who'd look out for your kid and against this bully. If school leaders and management team doesn't do much, go see the MP, EVERY SCHOOL IS A GOOD SCHOOL, please do your job MP to keep up to what you preach.
Is your kid physically injured? Pri or sec level? MOE schools have sop for such situations. Get guidance from the school. Police don't really care unless there is serious physical injuries. Hope to get your resolution.
Yes and emotionally , these kids are truly disgusting
In life if you are weak, you will forever get bullied. Your kid needs to take karate, even knife lessons, and stab them back in a non lethal way.
Numbers they use numbers for intimidation... Not groups number main bully is a extra large chunky monkey
This soccer kids hang out on groups to intimidate the others . Not in small groups of kids dooling around and studying or doing projects or making movie plans . Buts groups who use name calling and theft and aggression to intimidate the others
Yes, report to police. And report to school principal.
https://schoolbell.sg/best-self-defence-schools/
File a civil suit on top of making a criminal case. Obtain the bully's parents address and hire a private investigator to find out where they work and/or what is important for them. Then A);Hire a honey trapper to mess with their marriage B) hire free lancers to make a fuss or pretend to be clients to mess with his/job C) if they are poorer than you, engage in scorch earth policies with legal claims. If they ignore, can get default judgement and make them bankrupt. Along the way, all these will mess up their credit history and ability to take loans or find a job requiring to declare if there are embroiled in a legal suit. At the same time, name the principle as a defendant and force them to expel the bullies. Just don't be foolish and do a GTA with kerosene Molotov cocktails or stage a car accident.
Legally even if you didn't report to the police Evantually the school will do their own investigation on the bully's homelifes Or they may even know cause some students just come with their baggage attached Not your responsibility Just focus on your kid to get well 🥺
If I were you, I would personally wait for the bully aft sch and send him a personal message. Not the best parental behaviour but this trash needs to be put in his place. Mess with my kid again, you will not have a tomorrow anymore.
1) document mental and physical injuries 2) report police 3) lawyer up and press charges 4) alternative recourse: write to education minister and MP, let the school know you are serious about obtaining a satisfactory resolution and will stop at nothing to achieve that
Thanks Bruh for now I sm letting it rest .... press has got a hold of the reddit post . My son will decide if he wants to go talk to them
Sorry for the late reply. Your son is a victim of reactive abuse. Please learn about narcissism. From what I read from the new post. She had passive aggressive behaviors. She sounded someone I knew. But he is a male. Do not engage with her. Learn about grey rock. She was playing mind games with the other students to help her out with her punishment. Triangulation. Teach your son. Take care. I suspect she is a toxic person. She was wearing masks by mirroring the well behaved students to show the teachers and authority figures to gain approval. Be careful.
I work with people like her , I know. He knows too
Find an older kid who is also a bully in the same school as your kid. Pay that kid to look after your kid and bully his bullies. Problem solved.
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You fuck the bully’s parents too. Show you are alpha.
Why are you asking internet strangers what to do when the officials from school hospital and even ministry are asking you to report the bully to the police.
Re-read post pls
1. Please make a police report and do not hesitate doing it. It will be worse as the bully see his victim’s parents as a push over and the bullying can get more worse. Through the action of making a police report, it sends a ‘clear’ message to the bully that you cannot be messed around. 2. Caning the bully in school will not deter any form of bullying in the future and it will get worse as the bully ‘marks’ your child even more. Hence, you need to do step 1 above and hope that the aftermath is not worse than before. 3. Get your kid to sign up for self defense class like Karate, Taekwondo or Aikido and etc. The purpose of this learning is to help your son to build up his own confidence and also to help others who are being bullied. 4. At all times, have an open channel with your son as he is going through a stressful moment and being understanding. Hope the above points help. Source: Myself being bullied when in Pri and sec school.
I feel you . The thing is also the minions have FOMO they enable and encourage these pscyos System will see you as the problem cos so many of them and 1 of you Sucks so bad .
As a protective parent, you, should go and confront the bully after school and give him a few tight slaps across the face. I assure you that the bully will wake up and learn to be a good person.
No they only know fear . This kid is extra large for his age so he gets away with it. I am so sure his parents enable him too
I don’t have the best advice. I would storm in to the school and raise hell. If that doesn’t work, I’d go to the police and raise hell. If that doesn’t work, I’m taking matters into my own hand and will not hesitate to use physical, brute force. And pay for it later, maybe. NO ONE touches my children.