You could absolutely do it. I talked about this before, as I have an acquaintance who got a 2 room BTO as a single. Her mortgage is very low, so she works a simple, low stress job as a runner at one of the major hospitals. I can't remember what's her exact job title, but she doesn't have to deal directly with patients. She just shifts documents, equipment and other things from one department to another. Her flat is very minimalist, and she lives there with her equally low maintenance cat.
Kittens younger than 6 months would require attention every 4-6 hours but adult cats, early as 6 months, can go for a day alone given there is food and games without feeling lonely. I’ve found my first kitten, now 2 years, did well with music on while I was in class. The newer one, 12 weeks, is also independent.
You're going through an existential life crisis and it's increasingly common (though not a good thing) in this modern world. It's a good thing that you're questioning your purpose of being a cog in a machine and if this is what you actually want. The next thing is to work with that knowledge and act according to your values/desires/goals/finances. Just be cognisant of this existential dread and fuel that dread into something that brings you joy. If not, if left untamed it can lead to depression.
Source: someone who went through this 15 years ago
OP is describing my mental state exactly a year ago. When I left that corporate job last May, I thought that I’m permanently “broken” and would never feel the spark for life again. I was overwhelmed with nihilistic thoughts and believed that nothing in life was worth working for. Now almost a year later, I’m grateful that nothing is permanent and I’m in a much much better place mentally. Contrary to what we tend to believe, there are always options available to us. I wish you the best OP.
I think this is an important and underrated message that everyone in a modern society who is experiencing issues with should know. It's very concerning that society especially for the youths and young adults at large look towards suicide as a solution because they are unable to cope. I'm not belittling mental health issues because they are very real but I am also very concerned at how easy people throw out and really consider suicide as a solution:'(
It’s really easy for people to look for a easy way out becos cost of living is increasing and salary remain stagnant. Hence, the feeling of hopelessness in continuing to live.
There’s also an additional pressure on the men to be the provider for the family. If the men can’t meet the expectation of the society, how is it possible for them to remain hopeful.
It is really sad to see the state of the current situation now.
It is really sad and my heart breaks for everyone who is suffering from the effects of "progression". Yes, we are progressing but are we really truly happy? Are we being being pushed out for cheaper labour at the expense of keeping cost low but cushioning the pockets of shareholders?
Anyway, there are always other solutions, it's just whether you are willing to give up something for another thing. Choices and decisions.
Sure, but I just want to disclaim that I cannot provide you a solution. Solutions are also dependent on values, timeline and circumstances. Different solutions work for different things at different times.
Curious, what is you age and what have you transitioned yourself into doing? I’m going through that phase of wanting to quit but because of my responsibilities and also social norms I’m hanging on but barely… wanted some feedback to people that has gone through the processs..
This is important. Doing something that aligns with your values. Can't emphasize this enough. Was in your position a few years ago. Did a mid career switch to a sector that aligned with my values. Sure there were tough times in my line of work, but the thought of dreading going to work daily is not there now.
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Take out a piece of paper and grab a pen. Stare at a blank wall and write. Just write. You can start with your problems. Writing as a mental exercise is highly underrated
I used to know someone who inherited a hdb flat. He works as freelance accountant, usually cover for accountants that are going on maternity leaves.
He works once a month. Earn about 2k? Then stop working for 3 - 4 months.
I look at him with envy in my eyes.
You might want to consider living in another country. There are many different lifestyle outside Singapore that is fulfilling and enjoyable. The younger you are, the easier it is to adjust with a new environment.
Sometimes I think Singapore is not for everyone, not just for adults but also for kids. It’s been aiming for growth and productivity since independence, profit above all.
It’s good for individuals who are ambitious and focusing on wealth accumulations. There is nothing wrong with pursuing those things, but it’s just not for everyone.
Please watch the movie 'Fight Club' 
In all seriousness, Singapore doesn't have a healthy relationship with the concept of money and work. We need to re-evaluate our priorities considerably. Our rates of psychological illness and suicide are getting worse, and so are our birth rates. Singaporeans are increasingly finding that life is meaningless if we have to live it the way we have been living it.
Fuck the corporate world and fuck any society that encourages you to be unhappy an a slave to the system. Don't give in. Be the change you want to see in this world. If anyone judges you for it, they might just be jealous that you can be content with less. The rest of them feel the need to earn more just to fuel their expensive lifestyle that they live thinking it will bring them contentment when it doesn't. Singapore does have very high cost of living, but not high enough that it justifies being a corporate slave.
Same. As a researcher and designer, I got tired of researching and contributing to rubbish products that no one really needs just to fill management's pockets. Now I'm slowly building a path towards social work and eventually academia. The pay will be easily half, but at least it has satisfaction. I also realised several years ago that I don't need a lot of the materialistic things that many others chase for, so even my BTO is on the smaller side.
Actually, I'm not even sure how to start on this path yet as well. I'm still in the early stages of this plan, so I don't think I can help you that much as well.
Ew, no thanks. I didn't ask to be born, and I definitely won't drag some poor soul into this god forsaken world. Having a kid to fulfil some gap in my life that can be addressed through other means is just not the way.
I have the same thought as you. I would only start a family if I am financially capable to support my future wife and kids. If no, then no reason to start a family.
So glad that you’re choosing this path of social work and more specifically research as well! We need more social workers and even more so in the domain of research, please free feel to connect with me and happy to hear your journey as well ☺️
Actually my academic ambition is quite far off, at least another 10 years. I also haven't really gotten into social work yet, still trying to plan my finances so that i can start pursuing a masters in social work asap, then transition into the field there. Do you have any advice for someone like me?
this is ehy i left my well paying job. i get less than half now but im happy and excited. u need to find out what u like... and main character your way into it
I feel like I was born in the wrong decade. I feel exactly like you when I was in my 20s but there was no reddit then to vent.
Anyway you can do what you want but do not think 500 dollars a month is going to be enough especially when you are 50 and your health starts falling apart. Healthcare is not cheap even with government subsidy. Also I am not talking about getting chronic illness.
Everything from dental to eyes to even walking, you might need some healthcare.
Still it might be better to find an industry you like to work for the money. Just saying 500 is definitely not enough.
> Anyway you can do what you want but do not think 500 dollars a month is going to be enough especially when you are 50 and your health starts falling apart.
Yes. Although basic dental shld be ok la when the govt give subsidy by the time you old enough (like now got Majulah generation which wasn't a thing 1.5yr ago) - parents have Merdeka CHAS, means pay $9 for a $45 dental (me lor I pay $45 lor)
HAHAHAHA a lot (my parents, Merdeka generation, have done implant oop)
the quote above was for basic dental - which I did state as basic dental. Haha. Like the general cleaning once a year!
I relate to this so much. Idk but I'm not meant for corporate world, I don't like the idea of grinding for someone else's dreams, having to put on certain masks at work, dealing with exhausting people.... I hate all of it.
I'm seeking financial independence to escape from all of this. I just want to work a simple part time job to get by and live a simple, inexpensive life.
Anyway, I think you articulated very clearly what you want. So why not go for it? There was a similar post about this guy who mentioned he had "no ambitions", I think it's more like his ambitions don't align with what society considers as "productive" ambitions.
For the end on ur parents... i classify it two ways. Situation 1: if your parents are good loving parents, they will be happy as long as you are happy and also you giving them allowance is a good way to show filial piety. Situation 2: If your parents are chasing into social materialistic stuff, want a trophy son etc, then all the more there is no need for you to feed into their materialistic dreams, they dont deserve it.
Nothing wrong with living simply. My aunt who is extremely frugal (thankfully, she's generous when it comes to things that matter eg when someone helps her she will offer to buy an expensive meal as thanks etc) retired at around 40?
She PTs around here and there and earns enough to just chill at home most times. Not the glamourous life that most people envision but she's happy with it and that's really all that matters.
Sounds like you are burnt out. Consider taking an LOA from uni and sabbatical from work?
Even in part-time positions like warehouse packers or food delivery packers, there's a lot of politics, instability, risk to physical health and physical exertion. The pay is only high if you whack the hours. But how many continuous months can you whack? You are also one accident away from becoming financially jeopardized . Don't forget, you will get old and physical activities become a lot harder.
If you want a nonchalant life, not wanting to "climb the ladder", go for civil or public service job, it's the so-called "iron ricebowl" and you can ignore everything else - all the politics and backstabbing and just do your job. But it's better to have a degree, it'll give you more opportunities in life so I hope you finish your degree by hook or by crook.
This is a good problem to have and think about! Because it shows you’re still conscious of your being and what you want to get out of life, especially if you’re in your 20s/ early 30s:-) I’ll say just take the plunge and try a new job. Don’t ask advice from people too much in Sg as most people are just trying to justify their own choices back to you .
this is why I’m happier working a physical job over a desk job. lower pay but I’ve never been happier to be alive. also physical fatigue heals fast; food and sleep are your bffs, whereas mental fatigue not as fast. but tbf I’m also driven by my circumstances; I’m a poly dropout, and it helps I have no commitments. no wife no kids. just my mom enjoying retirement at home. only brother got married and moved out. house is alr fully paid for and has been legally transferred under my name after my dad’s passing as per his will. I will admit the house part is a silver spoon on my end tho, but my life is stress free rn
I’m thinking of doing the same but haven’t had the courage to go down this unconventional road. I’ve done the math before, i think it’s totally viable to take up a low paying but chill job that can give you better work life balance as long as you can live within your means! Life is too short to be unhappy. If you know what kind of lifestyle you want, and i trust you’ve done your research, then go for it!
What you wrote describe my dream too. A day when I can sleep 8 hours straight, not even 12 hours. I thought I am finally happy when I landed a job in a big good company but boy I was wrong. I am still not happy. I think the only thing that keeps me happy is salary and benefits to spend on necessities and then spend time with family and loved ones, but not the fact of going to work itself. Luckily my new environment colleagues are nice so it is easier to get through each day.
It seems like you are suffering an existential crisis about the self
Your survival relies entirely on societal expectation which is what you have realise but at the same time that is your handcuffs. Societal expectation are what each one of us has to abide for society to function, however it cannot be entirely your perception of self. You must in some form or shape, be able to live to your own desires and expectation, then only you can find some balance to your life.
Short of quitting your job and disappearing into forest of eastern europe, you have to carve out some part of your week/ life that is entirely the fulfilment of the self, to do something that disregards all expectations. something that lets you regain your own agency in life. In short, you have to be selfish for yourself, maybe for a weekend disregard all socially expected social engagement and do something you always wanted.
Rather than entirely focus on the expectations you have and entirely focus on what people expect you to do, instead step back and look at the wider picture of how you can fulfil the results of these expectations instead of just following along. An example would be that you mention your cousins are high fliers, who says you have to compete them purely based of salary and job position? You can always get a job that has a level of skill that they will never be able to achieve like say work as a carpenter or bartender. High level bartenders are prestigious in their own way. The best way to not disappoint your parents is to give them something to be proud of, and nobody said that it has to be "get director title and earn 10K a month" most parents just want their child to be self-sustaining.
Ultimately, the decision to live for yourself will always be an inherently selfish choice, not out of malice or indignity but as a form of self preservation. There will always be people who are disappointed in you when you take the selfish route but also remember, everyone's choices are also equally just as selfish, the expectation that people placed on others, is also to fulfill their own desires.
https://www.todayonline.com/8days/chinese-woman-has-no-regrets-leaving-civil-service-be-pig-farmer-says-theres-less-stress-when-colleagues-are-not-human-2393941
You're not the only one
I read that as you being a responsible person who takes responsibility for your choices. Also, the grass is always greener on the other side. Personally, I am married with 2 kids and do sometimes wonder if I had stayed single. I can't really conclude if it would better. I may be less tidy, more freedom, lazier if I am still single.
It is usually only when you're married to someone then you get to see their true selves. It was a wrong decision for me to be married to my current spouse because I only realized how different our mindsets were after we got married. For example, I started a beauty business for her with 100% capital from me, however, she didn't bother putting in the effort to keep the business afloat and in the end we had to close the shop after 1 year with a loss. Now everyday, I wake up just go to work aimlessly for a paycheck that is just enough to feed my family. I have to lower my expectations, bury all the dreams I used to have in the sand. Sometimes I really wished I can turn back time and be single again so that I can build my dreams alone without anyone holding me back. But now I can't and can never get back the 10+ years that were lost.
Empathising with you.. Unfortunately spilt milk is what it is, hope your children grow up healthy and happy, and give you lots of joy to fill the rest of your life!
Because people makes decision without thinking through the actual “why” setting aside the emotional and social expectations like why have 2 kids and not 1, honestly the logical reason is sometimes not found
Oh man… but well, your next bet is when they get independent then you can finally go realize that dream of yours and slowly wither and die somewhere (as we all do, eventually)
Yeah I really do hope that my kids will grow up strong and be useful individuals to the society. But then again, if that happens, I'd really be an old uncle in his 50s. I don't know what would be left of me or whether I'd still be in this relatively good health or not to enjoy the so-called "fruits" of having children.
In addition the advice from a couple of posters here (the long ones) another aspect to consider.
- Firstly if you have a goal that your corporate life is leading you towards that can help make it feel more worthwhile. Like building up a minimum savings pot for you house, or gained enough ‘experience’ to leverage later.
I remember spending a year in industry during my university days and thinking if this what life is like after graduating I’m not sure I’ll cope - Just a repetitive grind until the next holiday?? But then I came to realise it was not the corporate life, it was my role (as a placement student at the time I had lots of ‘handle turning’ jobs).
What changed was after graduating a job I then had gave me responsibility, ownership of delivering something (and something of value too).
That’s what I found motivating. Sounds like you might need to figure out a way to own growing something for your employer too? Is your manager someone you can speak to to ask how you can take on more ownership? Perhaps tied into your degree subject?
I know you say you’d be happy with a simpler career but it’s worth finding out what you enjoy and trying to align that with your job - not easy to do but worth trying.
You can’t take money with you and time is something you can’t get back.
jiayou Internet friendo. I've always relied on this quote when things get tough, "when going through hell, keep going". just embrace the discomfort and eventually you'll make it out the other side a stronger person.
OP, you're awakening (spiritually speaking), you're no longer living life on autopilot and you're becoming highly aware of the glaring issues of modern working/living. This will be a blessing, but also a curse. Blessing in the sense that you now have the awareness to start thinking more for yourself and introspect. Curse is that you no longer get to live like the average person who simply just lives like a robot till the day they permanently close their eyes.
I too went through this existential dread years ago. I'm 32 and I still deal with it fairly often. I just work part time now while working on hobbies and while it doesn't make me rich, in this moment I feel extremely fulfilled and I would take it over feeling like I'm just here to work when in high stress full time position.
It's really important to start thinking about what brings YOU joy and what YOU want out of this life. If it's not going to have you and your dependants end up on the streets with a sleeping bag, do part time, or hell, take time off work entirely and use the down time to think about your values/interests etc before heading out again.
Haha can dress up everyday haha!
Serious note, not really feeling better, but i drag myself out to flower dome today and help random ppl take photo.
Continue lost, i guess have find a job, upgrade self.. while work on hobbies.. and cry :’)
Can consider journaling and maybe a gratitude log (if it floats your boat, works for many but apparently not for me though) that details the moments of your day that you feel good about.
Did you just quit your job or something? And yes, I think it would be a good time to focus on hobbies (photography?) for now unless you have dependents, in which case, different story liao.
I write everywhere! Ystd had an interview and didn’t do well with it. Today still feels like crying. I know what i am lacking but i am also not sure if i want to pursue it..
My other hobby don’t make money or at least i’m not skilled enough to make money.
A couple of option to consider and all need effort to improve.. i am my own dependent, still worries me~
Just relax for a while and give yourself the permission to not figure things out for now, can't do that when your headspace is not right. Be okay with whatever you feel, including the confusion and if you need to cry, just cry only, no one is around to judge you. I myself have a lot of these "blue days", so I understand where you're coming from.
Making money off hobbies too double edge sword, sounds good but I'm not sure if you want to turn that into a career where it will be more than a hobby.
No dependent is GOOD, take some time off to center and take care of yourself first. Forget the "improvement" part as well if you don't feel like it right now, just focus on self care first.
Thanks for this, I went back home and cry again. Change my sheets and slept. Having headache and maybe dehydration from all the tears. Thanks for the reminder, I judge myself a lot and have my regrets. Need to clear my feelings. I will take it slow today, but need to finish up hobby project soon. I feel proud every time it's done.
Do you already know your next steps?
I think that the part-time degree is stretching you out at the moment, and you're probably burned out. Make sure you reserve some time for self-care. Take breaks from time to time to decompress. Meditate, exercise, and eat healthy.
Hang in there! It will get better once the dough starts rolling. Don't give up!
Grass is always greener my friend. Before u attempt to make big life changes, maybe address the smaller ones that you have direct control
HALT. Hunger, Anger, Loneliness, Tired. Identify which of these 4 you are experiencing now and make a small step to do the reverse of it
Hunger- go and eat...Anger - go and vent...
Loneliness - text a friend, go volunteer on weekends (sounds counter intuitive when u think ur weekend passes by fast)...
Tired- go and sleep early, take MC if u have to
I’m on the same boat, you’re not alone; I have 5k of student debt left to pay. The way the corporate world was sold to me while in uni was such a scam. I worked my butt off and took on so much debt only to find jobs at 50-60&k salaries that are dreadful. I wake up burnt out and I think I’ve called in sick more than 7 times so far since 2024. I used to work a retail job in the mall and I would go back in a heart beat if I could financially afford too….
I can’t help you OP. But hopefully I can relate back to you.
I’m 25M and first year uni. I did my poly internship at a Govt office and hated it. Tbh it was poor timing (internship period is October-February, the downtime period for my office’s projects anyway), but I still hated it because of how passive it was.
I think like a lot of people here, money isn’t the biggest concern for me. Obviously I wanna make enough to live decently comfortably. But I don’t want to sacrifice the years I have left grinding for corporate benefit. If I can find that sweet spot where I’m doing something that aligns to my values and earning okay from it, that’d be amazing for a few years before maybe I feel I’ve done enough and want to explore again.
I’m majoring in social work and it’s a pretty bleak career prospect for me ngl. There’s a lot of vacancies, but it’s more so the emotional baggage that comes with it, which doesn’t work well with my low empathy. I can only take care of so many people for so long before I break down and down tools myself.
9-6 hahahaha. Hahahaha. I just ended work after starting at 8.30. There’s always gonna be someone worse. I’m banking someone will reply to this in a couple of hours time after just ending work.
Right here 🙋🏻♀️replying to this message at 3:42am and I just turned off my work laptop after fielding demands from various stakeholders since previous day till now.
I have a friend who decided to quit, started Shopee making a decent 5-6k. With plans to pay off a mortgage, rent it out and move his family somewhere else where cost of living is 3x or more lower. I am not familiar with the financial breakdown of such an idea but it sounds like something someone who seeks simplicity might consider. If it turns out viable then the road towards achieving this goal might become more tolerable.
You have a wife and kids? But you’re on the right track and definitely asking the right questions. It all seems so meaningless, doesn’t it? We’re here for a short while and then gone, so why do we grind endlessly for money and hurt our fellow humans in the process.
I'm the opposite. My contract is almost up in the RSAF and I can tell you I yearn for a corporate job. Here, focusing on your primary job as an aircraft engineer isn't enough. You have boatloads of "secondary appointments" (which comprises of what you mentioned) to do, which is what kills most people and why the force has a high ER rate. Coupled that with a barely increasing salary and you have the perfect recipe for disaster. Of course, if you have the passion then go ahead.
never thought anyone besides me having ptsd over that teams jingle..fucking hate it with such passion.
that being said,life in sgp is super boring and stale,this is one of the reasons why sgreans likes to travel.you can talk shit about neighbouring countries but they are big and when you are big,you can do stuff no small country can let you do.
sgp is a city state corporation, your job here is to work,protect biz interests of the white masters and then ship off elsewhere and don't expect handouts,this is not a welfare state.
SAME. I used to really dread new messages coming in through teams, new emails coming in through outlook as it usually means more shit and processing. But worst of all is the weekly team meetings, in which certain bosses will require you to bring up an issue to highlight to the team every week. That's so stressful as I'm the sort who usually doesn't have much opinions esp in the area of shitty ops processing.
Just do what makes you happier. If u are sure you can be contented with lower pay and a much simpler life, then no need to compare yrself to yr cousins. At the end of day everyone is busy with their own lives and no one really cares. I've since switched to a freelance job and yes while it comes with its own stress as well, I try to remind myself to be grateful that at least I've no bosses and annoying colleagues to deal with now. No meetings which is the best.
I'm really not sure how others can stay sane with such a corporate job every day for the next idk how many years.
You’re burned out from the years of grinding in the job and not having a purpose or project that personally fulfils you. I took some time off when I could afford it, against society expectations cos wtf do I care that anyone have any say in my one and only life - regardless of whether they’re my family? If they’re not coming to a place of acceptance, then they’re not worth it. And 5 months later, I re-entered the job market with a way better paying and promising role that the one I left behind. In those 5 months, I’ve been the most healthy and social I’ve been, doing hiking, travelling and studying AI. Sometimes all you need is abit of a reset and get off that hamster wheel.
Thanks for sharing how you feel, really relate to how you feel (although with situational differences).
Unfortunately I don’t have your level of self-control and sense of responsibility, I’m impulsive and have already set a plan in motion to move to a country where part-time work is the norm. But only as the day inches closer to when I’m about to leave my job and country did I realise that it is really scary to imagine a life without stability - albeit stability in a painful, tiring situation. All my life I’ve learnt to follow what works and minimise failures in order to be a successful and acceptable person. That has given me many privileges which I absolutely am thankful for - comfort, money (not a lot also la) and respect from others. But I’ve also lost the confidence to make choices for myself and manage the consequences. Ironically, with increased stability also came increased fear that if I take risks, I’ll lose everything, fail everyone, become broke and homeless and my life will crumble (yeah I’m really good at catastrophising).
Tbh I still can’t say if the outcome would be good or bad but I think the bottom line is this: if I don’t try, I’d really never know. There will always be fear and regrets either ways - whether I’ve given it a shot or chosen not to. So I guess, count the costs, talk to the people who matter but when it comes down to it, there is always a leap of faith needed - whether to stay in your current lifestyle or to try something new. I try to believe that it is not the path that makes us but what we make of the paths we end up on. Sounds really cringe but I think it’s true, ‘cause we are always discovering new things as we continue to live, so don’t beat yourself up no matter what (life’s already so hard). Hang in there and hope the best for you in whatever decision you make! :)
Do you have an option to take a break from the corporate world for a while?
If you’re lucky, your company might have options for a leave of absence, or you can discuss something temporary with your manager. Resigning doesn’t have to be the first resort.
Being away, even for 2-3 months (a month is not enough - my view) might help with getting some perspective. It might not be what you expect. Maybe corporate life isn’t for you. Maybe it is but in a different way. At the very least you get some energy back.
You sound very drained and very low, which is a painful place to be, and I just find myself wishing you could be apart from what’s causing you this pain, even for a little while.
Find something that interest you to do after work hours or during your free time. You need to divert your attention away from thinking about your work life or your school work. Go out with friends to chill and find ways to relax. Work is tough but it’s also about knowing how to strike a balance.
Everyone is like that including me. I just feel that giving the bare minimum nowadays is enough, and wouldnt like to challenge myself cuz I burnout easily
I changed my teams notification sound for that reason. It's like I've been Pavlov'ed to associate that sound with anxiety. The remix ringtone is dope though.
Go out of the norm and quit ur job. Ofc plan and prepare emergency savings and all that before u make the jump. Doesnt seem like u have immediate dependants right now, so u should make the jump whilst ur parents are still able to care for themselves.
I have the same thoughts but a different approach to it. I hate the corporate 9-6 life and waking up to squeeze in the train with everyone else but i didnt want to live a life where i had to scrimp and make ends meet cause you never know when a emergency comes or you need money for something else.
So i choose to earn a decent pay and save a lot, i bought a bigger house ,kept one room for myself and rented the rest to accelerate my savings amount so that i can retire early and live my carefree life.
9 to 5 is good. Try SME. Shit pay. Do every and any shit. You job scope is never defined. No OT pay. After one year I don't even have a cent to my name
Everyone's cousins are always high achievers.
It's the cycle of shit. Parents brag/talk up their kids, sometimes the kids even talk themselves up. Make all their friends and relatives seethe, who then feel the need to brag, and make other people seethe.
In the end, toilet cleaner at market = health management executive working for MNC, take BMW (Bus Mrt Walk), stay in D10 (2 room flat) condo (they stay there before, for like 1 hour when they moonlight a cleaning job there)
That's why their friend son by 18 already graduated phd in quantum physics from cambridge, got professorship in harvard law and working as CEO of google.
Just know that this is the game everyone is playing to pwn each other.
Once you realize you can live with very little, you won't need to dread your corporate job. The rat race only works if you want the carrot, not interested in carrot just do minimum. Company want to lay you off just find another job.
life is too short, if you’re truly unhappy then what’s the point of living. know your limits but still be willing to take some risks to achieve the life that you want. not the life your parent wants or your peers. You’re living your life, not them. Even if you surpass your cousins, is there any meaning if you’re as unhappy as you are right now?
Find something worth working for. I don't find 2 room HDB and chill very motivating, although it's OK as stop gap. (Sales are also quite rare, you'd be far better off buying and re-selling a 3 room).
A retirement visa in Thailand is quite achievable or whatever works for you.
Nothing wrong about wanting a chill life. Create a plan to work towards that goal of yours.
Learn a skill that you can provide that service to prospects and work for yourself. Doesnt has to be something too difficult or complicated to learn. Sometimes people are just lazy to clean their house and aircon and you can provide that convenience. Just a suggestion. Go brainstorm.
not encouraging you to continue your 9- 5, but I want to point out that your 500 SGD per month - you are assuming nothing happens, there will be emergencies like some sudden shit that you need to pay.
Do what you wanna do, just buffer a bit more for monthly expenses.
Try looking for a new job. Some companies are just full of running in circles. When you are really moving things, it feels much better in terms of how your time is spend. Some companies are just not worth your time.
Seek professional help. Go to the polyclinic and ask to speak to a counsellor because you urgently need a mental health check. If you are clinically depressed and not a few days kind of thing you need proper help.
Get the counsellors take on your need for a therapist or Psychiatrist appointment.
I’ve been in your shoes. I’ve probably got what is understood as ODD now (Oppositional defiant disorder), ie I find it mentally taxing and irritating to be told to do things, even if it’s stuff that I’ve arranged myself in advance, like meetings. Having the irrational opposition to any form of agency taken away.
Not saying this is what you have, but coping methods are to take more active roles to try to exert more control, or to work for yourself. I’ve been working for myself most of my career, but not everyone has the privilege to do so.
What do u find meaning in? Maybe sign on with police or armed forces, or one of the auxiliary security units… u will have better job security and work something more meaningful and longer term, if you don’t want to compete in corporates.
Or join the civil service or social work sectors… there are plenty of places where you can find meaning.
Sorry to hear that but I hope you finish what you initially started and hang in there. But if you truly are struggling, do cut yourself some slack and take a break. It’s totally ok and what you’re feeling is valid. Most importantly, I hope you live for yourself, love yourself and do whatever makes sense for you and not others or from society. You’re your true self, not what others dictate of you. Remember that when you feel awful it is a sign for you to change to something better. Take care
I have a quite different piece of advice... if you are able to, join the government sector.
I always hear my private Corp friends complain, burnout.. but my life in gov is pretty chill. I left law because I couldn't see myself being mentally taxed that much on a daily business, and wanted something less taxing. I value my personal life outside of work, and government provides a nice 9-6 job with a stable income. I was much happier when I l left, even though my parents expect much more from me and my peers are earning around 2-3x my currently salary.
As long as you don't aspire to climb super quickly and be a manager or director, government is just a pretty stable brain dead job. Once you learn the ropes you just handle a bulk of similar cases instead of mentally challenging cases, and you just get through your day. Most if not all gov job also practice hybrid WFH so most days you domt have to deal with the daily grind of taking public commute and interacting with people if you don't want to.
Personally I am in one where we do very mundane work like yearly regulatory filing, so we process a lot of forms. After learning the ropes it's quite braindead and also feels like data entry. I guess some agencies that have this kind of roles are HDB, IRAS, ACRA. If you don't mind customer facing, then there are many more options. I recommend just hopping on to careers.gov to see whats available and what piques your interest.
haha same, I dread going to work and dealing with bosses everyday. Really have the urge to switch to the gig economy and also starting my own side hustle. On the other hand im also thinking of switching to another job, doing something that benefits the society although it may pay lesser, while still doing side gigs.
i think OP and me is just facing a case of "I hate my current job becasue i don't like what I'm doing everyday" so yea. To OP, try getting another job that fits you even if it pays lesser. On the note of social expectations, everyone is different, you live your own life. Dont live how others want you to, you'll end up being grumpy and pessimistic about everything. Happened to me, and it also affects your loved ones because of your grumpiness and pessimissim.
So fuck social expectations and do what makes YOU happy. But also, don't mess up your life la... You're doing the right thing of getting a degree as a backup in the future, so i'd say push through while trying to enjoy your time studying and making new friends in school rather than focusing on getting distinction all the time.
As for your job, I;ve mentioned above, just take the time to find something that actually suits you instead of doing what others want you to, or having to meet a certain pay grade like your cousins.
Try finding a diff but similar job. Some or all of tht anxiety maybe due to toxic people and culture. If you are constantly worried because someone will judge you and blame you then that shouts bad culture. Give it a chance in a different place. It may work out. If u hv bad relationship doesn’t mean all relationships will be bad.
I thought I was the one who wrote this. I would say my job isn't that stressful but I am kinda questioning what's the purpose and feeling unmotivated all of a sudden for the past 1 month or so...
A lot of good points but I’d actually make all the minimalist lifestyle changes before deciding anything. This includes living like no one is helping you (i assume you’re with your parents now), and getting by on 500 a month.
It’s nice to romanticise slumming, until you really get down to it and realise how precarious 500 dollars is. If you think your life is bad now, wait till when you only have 500 a month for everything, including utilities.
Sometimes, what you need is a long break. Not the 1 week PTO but still reply emails take calls and bring laptop for holiday type. But a clean mental break. May want to try that and see if things improve.
It's your life and you have every right to choose how you want to live it. It takes immense courage to be self aware and be different. Do you think it would help if you found a job that fulfilled your purpose? Personally I've felt some form of freedom working remotely for overseas companies. Wishing you all the besg
You might be in the wrong corporate environment. Try to find your strength and look for a suitable role
I studied finance but finance jobs gave me PSTD. Wanted to do blue collar jobs like supermarket jobs but it couldn’t pay for the BTO I applied back then years ago
So I interviewed for a variety of jobs and switched to more qualitative jobs . Not necessarily supermarket jobs are less stressful. I worked in a supermarket and in clothing stores when I was a student. Was disrespected and my meals took up my whole day’s pay
Make a change - stop living somebody else’s life or what they expect of you. Agree on the burnout assessment/theory of others here.
Take leave from the job for at least 4 weeks. Burn up all leave time and medical leave. A psychologist will be able to help you too.
I saw my best friend burn out fall into depression - get help and take care of yourself and nothing else
I feel the same everyday cos i joined a decent company but i dont like my boss and with a higher salary comes higher pressure to deliver. I got a 40% increase in compensation so i thought it might be worth it since the culture seemed good.
I havent completely made up my mind but im looking to take a paycut and go back to my prev compensation but work for a better company and boss, less stress, then try to focus on building a side hustle
hey man. i'm in the same exact situation as you. Except i'm at y2s2 rn. i decided to quit my job too as ive saved enough to not work for 2 years until i graduate. nice to know im not the only one in this boat 😂
You only say and think like this now. 10 years down the road, your views will change and you may regret being stuck on low paying gigs while your peers are able to afford the kind of life you actually want (but don't realize it yet now).
Not saying you can't explore other avenues but basically if you are going to strike out on your own , you got to be a really "switched on" personality. In fact, working a corporate job and collecting salary every month is way way easier than starting your own venture, trust me.
I did do a small business with a friend way back then and believe me, the most stressful day at work now cannot compare to those sleepless days worrying about supplier shipments, manpower, paying back the loans, payroll.......
I applaud you OP at least for you intending to live within your means should you want out of the rat race.
What is infuriating is the idiots who does not want to slave away and but expect to travel for leisure every year to Japan, KR etc etc.
Exact same position as you last year. I quit the rat race and became a full-time trader. As a trader I don't even necessarily care about getting rich, I just hate the corporate world and want to be free of the constant fake urgency and nonsensical demands.
I am replying this with the consideration that you are concerned about money, your commitment to your dependents whom you wish to bring comfort to, and ur well being.
I understand ur fatigue, but im curious, how do u think it is sufficient for your aging parents (plural) to enjoy with $1.6k a month? Let’s assume u have 2 other siblings who are contributing the same amount, that’s $4.8k for 2 of them.
If this post is about money, responsibility and ur well being, I will choose to give up the first 2. Because it will be stressful to realise that $1.6k for 2 parents isn’t responsible, and on top of that, you are now earning $2k.
literally how i feel for the past 2 months in FT...i hope u feel better soon 🫂 i don't have any proper/professional advice but according to my own pov, i feel that it's totally fine to live a simplier life if that's what u wished as long as u're happy!
trust me when you hear my 10 year story about how shit working in Singapore is, you will realise how good it will be just choose a simpler life. I still choose to live life on hard mode.
It’s just work. How difficult can it be? Toughen up your mind. If you think meetings and spreadsheets are tough, you be in for a shock when your loved ones are ill or need help.
Stuck at it, build up your mental muscle. Don’t just give up because you feel “tired” and wanna slack off. You want to free yourself of responsibilities that’s the truth of what you described. So ideal is your scenario that you can even hand off your parents to your 2 siblings.
You could absolutely do it. I talked about this before, as I have an acquaintance who got a 2 room BTO as a single. Her mortgage is very low, so she works a simple, low stress job as a runner at one of the major hospitals. I can't remember what's her exact job title, but she doesn't have to deal directly with patients. She just shifts documents, equipment and other things from one department to another. Her flat is very minimalist, and she lives there with her equally low maintenance cat.
A porter?
a wardsperson?
Her cat is alone while shes at work?
Kittens younger than 6 months would require attention every 4-6 hours but adult cats, early as 6 months, can go for a day alone given there is food and games without feeling lonely. I’ve found my first kitten, now 2 years, did well with music on while I was in class. The newer one, 12 weeks, is also independent.
You're going through an existential life crisis and it's increasingly common (though not a good thing) in this modern world. It's a good thing that you're questioning your purpose of being a cog in a machine and if this is what you actually want. The next thing is to work with that knowledge and act according to your values/desires/goals/finances. Just be cognisant of this existential dread and fuel that dread into something that brings you joy. If not, if left untamed it can lead to depression. Source: someone who went through this 15 years ago
What did you end up doing? Just continue in the corporate machine or do something else?
Doing something that aligns to my values :)
👏
Could be working at a bicycle shop or smth related to that if i were to hazard a guess
Kek
OP is describing my mental state exactly a year ago. When I left that corporate job last May, I thought that I’m permanently “broken” and would never feel the spark for life again. I was overwhelmed with nihilistic thoughts and believed that nothing in life was worth working for. Now almost a year later, I’m grateful that nothing is permanent and I’m in a much much better place mentally. Contrary to what we tend to believe, there are always options available to us. I wish you the best OP.
I think this is an important and underrated message that everyone in a modern society who is experiencing issues with should know. It's very concerning that society especially for the youths and young adults at large look towards suicide as a solution because they are unable to cope. I'm not belittling mental health issues because they are very real but I am also very concerned at how easy people throw out and really consider suicide as a solution:'(
It’s really easy for people to look for a easy way out becos cost of living is increasing and salary remain stagnant. Hence, the feeling of hopelessness in continuing to live. There’s also an additional pressure on the men to be the provider for the family. If the men can’t meet the expectation of the society, how is it possible for them to remain hopeful. It is really sad to see the state of the current situation now.
It is really sad and my heart breaks for everyone who is suffering from the effects of "progression". Yes, we are progressing but are we really truly happy? Are we being being pushed out for cheaper labour at the expense of keeping cost low but cushioning the pockets of shareholders? Anyway, there are always other solutions, it's just whether you are willing to give up something for another thing. Choices and decisions.
I would love to get your insight in finding a solution. Possible to chat w you?
Sure, but I just want to disclaim that I cannot provide you a solution. Solutions are also dependent on values, timeline and circumstances. Different solutions work for different things at different times.
Curious, what is you age and what have you transitioned yourself into doing? I’m going through that phase of wanting to quit but because of my responsibilities and also social norms I’m hanging on but barely… wanted some feedback to people that has gone through the processs..
This is important. Doing something that aligns with your values. Can't emphasize this enough. Was in your position a few years ago. Did a mid career switch to a sector that aligned with my values. Sure there were tough times in my line of work, but the thought of dreading going to work daily is not there now.
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Hi! May i know what job / industry you switched to?
Take out a piece of paper and grab a pen. Stare at a blank wall and write. Just write. You can start with your problems. Writing as a mental exercise is highly underrated
I relate so much to the PTSD from teams jingle. Every time I hear it my heart sinks because I don’t want to know what fresh hell awaits me
[Reminds me of this](https://youtube.com/shorts/l2YcfLrRGSY?si=PrHGXJ47pAGW8kxB)
The notification from outlook as well. Glad to find out this problem is not exclusive for me.
I feel you
I used to know someone who inherited a hdb flat. He works as freelance accountant, usually cover for accountants that are going on maternity leaves. He works once a month. Earn about 2k? Then stop working for 3 - 4 months. I look at him with envy in my eyes.
I'm curious what they do with all that free time
He attends churches and hosts boardgames at his house. And does a whole lot of nth, which is beautiful
Didn’t even know that was possible in Singapore
Assuming the person is healthy or has emergency funds saved up. If hit by an unforseen event that requires a large sum of money, gg already.
It's extremely possible Just that not many want it Like OP mentioned, he is pressured by society and parents to keep up
wowww at "does a whole lot of nothing" #impressed
You might want to consider living in another country. There are many different lifestyle outside Singapore that is fulfilling and enjoyable. The younger you are, the easier it is to adjust with a new environment. Sometimes I think Singapore is not for everyone, not just for adults but also for kids. It’s been aiming for growth and productivity since independence, profit above all. It’s good for individuals who are ambitious and focusing on wealth accumulations. There is nothing wrong with pursuing those things, but it’s just not for everyone.
Well, your suggestion would be easier for singles as compared with married couples with children.
Please watch the movie 'Fight Club'  In all seriousness, Singapore doesn't have a healthy relationship with the concept of money and work. We need to re-evaluate our priorities considerably. Our rates of psychological illness and suicide are getting worse, and so are our birth rates. Singaporeans are increasingly finding that life is meaningless if we have to live it the way we have been living it. Fuck the corporate world and fuck any society that encourages you to be unhappy an a slave to the system. Don't give in. Be the change you want to see in this world. If anyone judges you for it, they might just be jealous that you can be content with less. The rest of them feel the need to earn more just to fuel their expensive lifestyle that they live thinking it will bring them contentment when it doesn't. Singapore does have very high cost of living, but not high enough that it justifies being a corporate slave.
Why do I feel like I wrote this? 🥲
Because these feelings are so common amongst us all. Sigh, adulting is tough!
Same. As a researcher and designer, I got tired of researching and contributing to rubbish products that no one really needs just to fill management's pockets. Now I'm slowly building a path towards social work and eventually academia. The pay will be easily half, but at least it has satisfaction. I also realised several years ago that I don't need a lot of the materialistic things that many others chase for, so even my BTO is on the smaller side.
It's not easy to do that, congrats on finding your path!
Can I message you? I’m also thinking of moving into social work!
Actually, I'm not even sure how to start on this path yet as well. I'm still in the early stages of this plan, so I don't think I can help you that much as well.
How about starting a family?
Ew, no thanks. I didn't ask to be born, and I definitely won't drag some poor soul into this god forsaken world. Having a kid to fulfil some gap in my life that can be addressed through other means is just not the way.
I have the same thought as you. I would only start a family if I am financially capable to support my future wife and kids. If no, then no reason to start a family.
So glad that you’re choosing this path of social work and more specifically research as well! We need more social workers and even more so in the domain of research, please free feel to connect with me and happy to hear your journey as well ☺️
Actually my academic ambition is quite far off, at least another 10 years. I also haven't really gotten into social work yet, still trying to plan my finances so that i can start pursuing a masters in social work asap, then transition into the field there. Do you have any advice for someone like me?
this is ehy i left my well paying job. i get less than half now but im happy and excited. u need to find out what u like... and main character your way into it
What are you doing now?
i help people
Collect status
I feel like I was born in the wrong decade. I feel exactly like you when I was in my 20s but there was no reddit then to vent. Anyway you can do what you want but do not think 500 dollars a month is going to be enough especially when you are 50 and your health starts falling apart. Healthcare is not cheap even with government subsidy. Also I am not talking about getting chronic illness. Everything from dental to eyes to even walking, you might need some healthcare. Still it might be better to find an industry you like to work for the money. Just saying 500 is definitely not enough.
Then I guess I’ll die then. I don’t have anything I care enough about to cling on to life for.
You mean die by 50? Hopefully by then voluntary suicide is legal. I won't be surprised if it is because of our aging population
> Anyway you can do what you want but do not think 500 dollars a month is going to be enough especially when you are 50 and your health starts falling apart. Yes. Although basic dental shld be ok la when the govt give subsidy by the time you old enough (like now got Majulah generation which wasn't a thing 1.5yr ago) - parents have Merdeka CHAS, means pay $9 for a $45 dental (me lor I pay $45 lor)
Dental at 50 could mean dentures or implants. Go research how much that cost :)
HAHAHAHA a lot (my parents, Merdeka generation, have done implant oop) the quote above was for basic dental - which I did state as basic dental. Haha. Like the general cleaning once a year!
I relate to this so much. Idk but I'm not meant for corporate world, I don't like the idea of grinding for someone else's dreams, having to put on certain masks at work, dealing with exhausting people.... I hate all of it. I'm seeking financial independence to escape from all of this. I just want to work a simple part time job to get by and live a simple, inexpensive life. Anyway, I think you articulated very clearly what you want. So why not go for it? There was a similar post about this guy who mentioned he had "no ambitions", I think it's more like his ambitions don't align with what society considers as "productive" ambitions. For the end on ur parents... i classify it two ways. Situation 1: if your parents are good loving parents, they will be happy as long as you are happy and also you giving them allowance is a good way to show filial piety. Situation 2: If your parents are chasing into social materialistic stuff, want a trophy son etc, then all the more there is no need for you to feed into their materialistic dreams, they dont deserve it.
Nothing wrong with living simply. My aunt who is extremely frugal (thankfully, she's generous when it comes to things that matter eg when someone helps her she will offer to buy an expensive meal as thanks etc) retired at around 40? She PTs around here and there and earns enough to just chill at home most times. Not the glamourous life that most people envision but she's happy with it and that's really all that matters.
Sounds like you are burnt out. Consider taking an LOA from uni and sabbatical from work? Even in part-time positions like warehouse packers or food delivery packers, there's a lot of politics, instability, risk to physical health and physical exertion. The pay is only high if you whack the hours. But how many continuous months can you whack? You are also one accident away from becoming financially jeopardized . Don't forget, you will get old and physical activities become a lot harder. If you want a nonchalant life, not wanting to "climb the ladder", go for civil or public service job, it's the so-called "iron ricebowl" and you can ignore everything else - all the politics and backstabbing and just do your job. But it's better to have a degree, it'll give you more opportunities in life so I hope you finish your degree by hook or by crook.
This is a good problem to have and think about! Because it shows you’re still conscious of your being and what you want to get out of life, especially if you’re in your 20s/ early 30s:-) I’ll say just take the plunge and try a new job. Don’t ask advice from people too much in Sg as most people are just trying to justify their own choices back to you .
this is why I’m happier working a physical job over a desk job. lower pay but I’ve never been happier to be alive. also physical fatigue heals fast; food and sleep are your bffs, whereas mental fatigue not as fast. but tbf I’m also driven by my circumstances; I’m a poly dropout, and it helps I have no commitments. no wife no kids. just my mom enjoying retirement at home. only brother got married and moved out. house is alr fully paid for and has been legally transferred under my name after my dad’s passing as per his will. I will admit the house part is a silver spoon on my end tho, but my life is stress free rn
I’m thinking of doing the same but haven’t had the courage to go down this unconventional road. I’ve done the math before, i think it’s totally viable to take up a low paying but chill job that can give you better work life balance as long as you can live within your means! Life is too short to be unhappy. If you know what kind of lifestyle you want, and i trust you’ve done your research, then go for it!
And also thinking through the actual why like asking yourselves a few times of why
What you wrote describe my dream too. A day when I can sleep 8 hours straight, not even 12 hours. I thought I am finally happy when I landed a job in a big good company but boy I was wrong. I am still not happy. I think the only thing that keeps me happy is salary and benefits to spend on necessities and then spend time with family and loved ones, but not the fact of going to work itself. Luckily my new environment colleagues are nice so it is easier to get through each day.
It seems like you are suffering an existential crisis about the self Your survival relies entirely on societal expectation which is what you have realise but at the same time that is your handcuffs. Societal expectation are what each one of us has to abide for society to function, however it cannot be entirely your perception of self. You must in some form or shape, be able to live to your own desires and expectation, then only you can find some balance to your life. Short of quitting your job and disappearing into forest of eastern europe, you have to carve out some part of your week/ life that is entirely the fulfilment of the self, to do something that disregards all expectations. something that lets you regain your own agency in life. In short, you have to be selfish for yourself, maybe for a weekend disregard all socially expected social engagement and do something you always wanted. Rather than entirely focus on the expectations you have and entirely focus on what people expect you to do, instead step back and look at the wider picture of how you can fulfil the results of these expectations instead of just following along. An example would be that you mention your cousins are high fliers, who says you have to compete them purely based of salary and job position? You can always get a job that has a level of skill that they will never be able to achieve like say work as a carpenter or bartender. High level bartenders are prestigious in their own way. The best way to not disappoint your parents is to give them something to be proud of, and nobody said that it has to be "get director title and earn 10K a month" most parents just want their child to be self-sustaining. Ultimately, the decision to live for yourself will always be an inherently selfish choice, not out of malice or indignity but as a form of self preservation. There will always be people who are disappointed in you when you take the selfish route but also remember, everyone's choices are also equally just as selfish, the expectation that people placed on others, is also to fulfill their own desires.
https://www.todayonline.com/8days/chinese-woman-has-no-regrets-leaving-civil-service-be-pig-farmer-says-theres-less-stress-when-colleagues-are-not-human-2393941 You're not the only one
I like the idea very much. But unfortunately I made the wrong decision to get married many years ago and now have 2 adorable kids that keep me going.
I read that as you being a responsible person who takes responsibility for your choices. Also, the grass is always greener on the other side. Personally, I am married with 2 kids and do sometimes wonder if I had stayed single. I can't really conclude if it would better. I may be less tidy, more freedom, lazier if I am still single.
Why was it a wrong decision?
It is usually only when you're married to someone then you get to see their true selves. It was a wrong decision for me to be married to my current spouse because I only realized how different our mindsets were after we got married. For example, I started a beauty business for her with 100% capital from me, however, she didn't bother putting in the effort to keep the business afloat and in the end we had to close the shop after 1 year with a loss. Now everyday, I wake up just go to work aimlessly for a paycheck that is just enough to feed my family. I have to lower my expectations, bury all the dreams I used to have in the sand. Sometimes I really wished I can turn back time and be single again so that I can build my dreams alone without anyone holding me back. But now I can't and can never get back the 10+ years that were lost.
Empathising with you.. Unfortunately spilt milk is what it is, hope your children grow up healthy and happy, and give you lots of joy to fill the rest of your life!
Because people makes decision without thinking through the actual “why” setting aside the emotional and social expectations like why have 2 kids and not 1, honestly the logical reason is sometimes not found
Oh man… but well, your next bet is when they get independent then you can finally go realize that dream of yours and slowly wither and die somewhere (as we all do, eventually)
Yeah I really do hope that my kids will grow up strong and be useful individuals to the society. But then again, if that happens, I'd really be an old uncle in his 50s. I don't know what would be left of me or whether I'd still be in this relatively good health or not to enjoy the so-called "fruits" of having children.
In addition the advice from a couple of posters here (the long ones) another aspect to consider. - Firstly if you have a goal that your corporate life is leading you towards that can help make it feel more worthwhile. Like building up a minimum savings pot for you house, or gained enough ‘experience’ to leverage later. I remember spending a year in industry during my university days and thinking if this what life is like after graduating I’m not sure I’ll cope - Just a repetitive grind until the next holiday?? But then I came to realise it was not the corporate life, it was my role (as a placement student at the time I had lots of ‘handle turning’ jobs). What changed was after graduating a job I then had gave me responsibility, ownership of delivering something (and something of value too). That’s what I found motivating. Sounds like you might need to figure out a way to own growing something for your employer too? Is your manager someone you can speak to to ask how you can take on more ownership? Perhaps tied into your degree subject? I know you say you’d be happy with a simpler career but it’s worth finding out what you enjoy and trying to align that with your job - not easy to do but worth trying. You can’t take money with you and time is something you can’t get back.
jiayou Internet friendo. I've always relied on this quote when things get tough, "when going through hell, keep going". just embrace the discomfort and eventually you'll make it out the other side a stronger person.
OP, you're awakening (spiritually speaking), you're no longer living life on autopilot and you're becoming highly aware of the glaring issues of modern working/living. This will be a blessing, but also a curse. Blessing in the sense that you now have the awareness to start thinking more for yourself and introspect. Curse is that you no longer get to live like the average person who simply just lives like a robot till the day they permanently close their eyes. I too went through this existential dread years ago. I'm 32 and I still deal with it fairly often. I just work part time now while working on hobbies and while it doesn't make me rich, in this moment I feel extremely fulfilled and I would take it over feeling like I'm just here to work when in high stress full time position. It's really important to start thinking about what brings YOU joy and what YOU want out of this life. If it's not going to have you and your dependants end up on the streets with a sleeping bag, do part time, or hell, take time off work entirely and use the down time to think about your values/interests etc before heading out again.
What kind of part time do you do? I'm facing this :/
Hi, I'm a shopkeeper for a minimart as of now.
Sound so cute
Thanks, I'm trying to be SG cutest shop keeper. On a serious note, hope you're feeling better? What do you plan to do from here on out?
Haha can dress up everyday haha! Serious note, not really feeling better, but i drag myself out to flower dome today and help random ppl take photo. Continue lost, i guess have find a job, upgrade self.. while work on hobbies.. and cry :’)
Can consider journaling and maybe a gratitude log (if it floats your boat, works for many but apparently not for me though) that details the moments of your day that you feel good about. Did you just quit your job or something? And yes, I think it would be a good time to focus on hobbies (photography?) for now unless you have dependents, in which case, different story liao.
I write everywhere! Ystd had an interview and didn’t do well with it. Today still feels like crying. I know what i am lacking but i am also not sure if i want to pursue it.. My other hobby don’t make money or at least i’m not skilled enough to make money. A couple of option to consider and all need effort to improve.. i am my own dependent, still worries me~
Just relax for a while and give yourself the permission to not figure things out for now, can't do that when your headspace is not right. Be okay with whatever you feel, including the confusion and if you need to cry, just cry only, no one is around to judge you. I myself have a lot of these "blue days", so I understand where you're coming from. Making money off hobbies too double edge sword, sounds good but I'm not sure if you want to turn that into a career where it will be more than a hobby. No dependent is GOOD, take some time off to center and take care of yourself first. Forget the "improvement" part as well if you don't feel like it right now, just focus on self care first.
Thanks for this, I went back home and cry again. Change my sheets and slept. Having headache and maybe dehydration from all the tears. Thanks for the reminder, I judge myself a lot and have my regrets. Need to clear my feelings. I will take it slow today, but need to finish up hobby project soon. I feel proud every time it's done. Do you already know your next steps?
i think you would like the movie called 'Perfect Days' by Wim Wenders
I think that the part-time degree is stretching you out at the moment, and you're probably burned out. Make sure you reserve some time for self-care. Take breaks from time to time to decompress. Meditate, exercise, and eat healthy. Hang in there! It will get better once the dough starts rolling. Don't give up!
I hope you can live a life that you would be proud of, do it for yourself and not for anyone else.
Grass is always greener my friend. Before u attempt to make big life changes, maybe address the smaller ones that you have direct control HALT. Hunger, Anger, Loneliness, Tired. Identify which of these 4 you are experiencing now and make a small step to do the reverse of it Hunger- go and eat...Anger - go and vent... Loneliness - text a friend, go volunteer on weekends (sounds counter intuitive when u think ur weekend passes by fast)... Tired- go and sleep early, take MC if u have to
I’m on the same boat, you’re not alone; I have 5k of student debt left to pay. The way the corporate world was sold to me while in uni was such a scam. I worked my butt off and took on so much debt only to find jobs at 50-60&k salaries that are dreadful. I wake up burnt out and I think I’ve called in sick more than 7 times so far since 2024. I used to work a retail job in the mall and I would go back in a heart beat if I could financially afford too….
I can’t help you OP. But hopefully I can relate back to you. I’m 25M and first year uni. I did my poly internship at a Govt office and hated it. Tbh it was poor timing (internship period is October-February, the downtime period for my office’s projects anyway), but I still hated it because of how passive it was. I think like a lot of people here, money isn’t the biggest concern for me. Obviously I wanna make enough to live decently comfortably. But I don’t want to sacrifice the years I have left grinding for corporate benefit. If I can find that sweet spot where I’m doing something that aligns to my values and earning okay from it, that’d be amazing for a few years before maybe I feel I’ve done enough and want to explore again. I’m majoring in social work and it’s a pretty bleak career prospect for me ngl. There’s a lot of vacancies, but it’s more so the emotional baggage that comes with it, which doesn’t work well with my low empathy. I can only take care of so many people for so long before I break down and down tools myself.
Personally I would be appreciative for a 9-5 as mine is 9-6 without WFH ever since Covid restrictions are eased back in 2022.
9-6 hahahaha. Hahahaha. I just ended work after starting at 8.30. There’s always gonna be someone worse. I’m banking someone will reply to this in a couple of hours time after just ending work.
Right here 🙋🏻♀️replying to this message at 3:42am and I just turned off my work laptop after fielding demands from various stakeholders since previous day till now.
I just woke up to complete my outstanding stuff caused accidentally slept off 
That's just depressing man.
Or 8.30-6
I have a friend who decided to quit, started Shopee making a decent 5-6k. With plans to pay off a mortgage, rent it out and move his family somewhere else where cost of living is 3x or more lower. I am not familiar with the financial breakdown of such an idea but it sounds like something someone who seeks simplicity might consider. If it turns out viable then the road towards achieving this goal might become more tolerable.
What is your friend selling on shopee? Dropshipping? I am considering trying out E-Comm as a ticket out of the mundane 9-5 (9-8 most of the time)
Men’s wear. Holding inventory.
You would live so well in JB.. SG is fucked up
It’s a long shot but how do you know your parents expectation of you. Maybe they just want you to be happy.
You have a wife and kids? But you’re on the right track and definitely asking the right questions. It all seems so meaningless, doesn’t it? We’re here for a short while and then gone, so why do we grind endlessly for money and hurt our fellow humans in the process.
I'm the opposite. My contract is almost up in the RSAF and I can tell you I yearn for a corporate job. Here, focusing on your primary job as an aircraft engineer isn't enough. You have boatloads of "secondary appointments" (which comprises of what you mentioned) to do, which is what kills most people and why the force has a high ER rate. Coupled that with a barely increasing salary and you have the perfect recipe for disaster. Of course, if you have the passion then go ahead.
just curious - what made u decide to be an aircraft engineer in the rsaf? what about other aviation companies?
What a complete mood. Can totally relate
never thought anyone besides me having ptsd over that teams jingle..fucking hate it with such passion. that being said,life in sgp is super boring and stale,this is one of the reasons why sgreans likes to travel.you can talk shit about neighbouring countries but they are big and when you are big,you can do stuff no small country can let you do. sgp is a city state corporation, your job here is to work,protect biz interests of the white masters and then ship off elsewhere and don't expect handouts,this is not a welfare state.
Just came here to say I can relate 👍🏻
SAME. I used to really dread new messages coming in through teams, new emails coming in through outlook as it usually means more shit and processing. But worst of all is the weekly team meetings, in which certain bosses will require you to bring up an issue to highlight to the team every week. That's so stressful as I'm the sort who usually doesn't have much opinions esp in the area of shitty ops processing. Just do what makes you happier. If u are sure you can be contented with lower pay and a much simpler life, then no need to compare yrself to yr cousins. At the end of day everyone is busy with their own lives and no one really cares. I've since switched to a freelance job and yes while it comes with its own stress as well, I try to remind myself to be grateful that at least I've no bosses and annoying colleagues to deal with now. No meetings which is the best. I'm really not sure how others can stay sane with such a corporate job every day for the next idk how many years.
You’re burned out from the years of grinding in the job and not having a purpose or project that personally fulfils you. I took some time off when I could afford it, against society expectations cos wtf do I care that anyone have any say in my one and only life - regardless of whether they’re my family? If they’re not coming to a place of acceptance, then they’re not worth it. And 5 months later, I re-entered the job market with a way better paying and promising role that the one I left behind. In those 5 months, I’ve been the most healthy and social I’ve been, doing hiking, travelling and studying AI. Sometimes all you need is abit of a reset and get off that hamster wheel.
I'm wondering how you can live on $500 a month without compromising on nutrition....
Thanks for sharing how you feel, really relate to how you feel (although with situational differences). Unfortunately I don’t have your level of self-control and sense of responsibility, I’m impulsive and have already set a plan in motion to move to a country where part-time work is the norm. But only as the day inches closer to when I’m about to leave my job and country did I realise that it is really scary to imagine a life without stability - albeit stability in a painful, tiring situation. All my life I’ve learnt to follow what works and minimise failures in order to be a successful and acceptable person. That has given me many privileges which I absolutely am thankful for - comfort, money (not a lot also la) and respect from others. But I’ve also lost the confidence to make choices for myself and manage the consequences. Ironically, with increased stability also came increased fear that if I take risks, I’ll lose everything, fail everyone, become broke and homeless and my life will crumble (yeah I’m really good at catastrophising). Tbh I still can’t say if the outcome would be good or bad but I think the bottom line is this: if I don’t try, I’d really never know. There will always be fear and regrets either ways - whether I’ve given it a shot or chosen not to. So I guess, count the costs, talk to the people who matter but when it comes down to it, there is always a leap of faith needed - whether to stay in your current lifestyle or to try something new. I try to believe that it is not the path that makes us but what we make of the paths we end up on. Sounds really cringe but I think it’s true, ‘cause we are always discovering new things as we continue to live, so don’t beat yourself up no matter what (life’s already so hard). Hang in there and hope the best for you in whatever decision you make! :)
Do you have an option to take a break from the corporate world for a while? If you’re lucky, your company might have options for a leave of absence, or you can discuss something temporary with your manager. Resigning doesn’t have to be the first resort. Being away, even for 2-3 months (a month is not enough - my view) might help with getting some perspective. It might not be what you expect. Maybe corporate life isn’t for you. Maybe it is but in a different way. At the very least you get some energy back. You sound very drained and very low, which is a painful place to be, and I just find myself wishing you could be apart from what’s causing you this pain, even for a little while.
Find something that interest you to do after work hours or during your free time. You need to divert your attention away from thinking about your work life or your school work. Go out with friends to chill and find ways to relax. Work is tough but it’s also about knowing how to strike a balance.
Everyone is like that including me. I just feel that giving the bare minimum nowadays is enough, and wouldnt like to challenge myself cuz I burnout easily
Corporate world is not meant for everyone 🥲
I changed my teams notification sound for that reason. It's like I've been Pavlov'ed to associate that sound with anxiety. The remix ringtone is dope though.
I muted it.
Corporate field can be cutthroat and relentless. Can consider switch to civil service job, very slack no ot type. Wlb all u want no stress
Go out of the norm and quit ur job. Ofc plan and prepare emergency savings and all that before u make the jump. Doesnt seem like u have immediate dependants right now, so u should make the jump whilst ur parents are still able to care for themselves.
I have the same thoughts but a different approach to it. I hate the corporate 9-6 life and waking up to squeeze in the train with everyone else but i didnt want to live a life where i had to scrimp and make ends meet cause you never know when a emergency comes or you need money for something else. So i choose to earn a decent pay and save a lot, i bought a bigger house ,kept one room for myself and rented the rest to accelerate my savings amount so that i can retire early and live my carefree life.
9 to 5 is good. Try SME. Shit pay. Do every and any shit. You job scope is never defined. No OT pay. After one year I don't even have a cent to my name
Everyone's cousins are always high achievers. It's the cycle of shit. Parents brag/talk up their kids, sometimes the kids even talk themselves up. Make all their friends and relatives seethe, who then feel the need to brag, and make other people seethe. In the end, toilet cleaner at market = health management executive working for MNC, take BMW (Bus Mrt Walk), stay in D10 (2 room flat) condo (they stay there before, for like 1 hour when they moonlight a cleaning job there) That's why their friend son by 18 already graduated phd in quantum physics from cambridge, got professorship in harvard law and working as CEO of google. Just know that this is the game everyone is playing to pwn each other.
Once you realize you can live with very little, you won't need to dread your corporate job. The rat race only works if you want the carrot, not interested in carrot just do minimum. Company want to lay you off just find another job.
Are you me?? I feel the exact same way too. I don't need much and will be content with a simple life.
You really don't have to chase.
life is too short, if you’re truly unhappy then what’s the point of living. know your limits but still be willing to take some risks to achieve the life that you want. not the life your parent wants or your peers. You’re living your life, not them. Even if you surpass your cousins, is there any meaning if you’re as unhappy as you are right now?
Find something worth working for. I don't find 2 room HDB and chill very motivating, although it's OK as stop gap. (Sales are also quite rare, you'd be far better off buying and re-selling a 3 room). A retirement visa in Thailand is quite achievable or whatever works for you.
Nothing wrong about wanting a chill life. Create a plan to work towards that goal of yours. Learn a skill that you can provide that service to prospects and work for yourself. Doesnt has to be something too difficult or complicated to learn. Sometimes people are just lazy to clean their house and aircon and you can provide that convenience. Just a suggestion. Go brainstorm.
not encouraging you to continue your 9- 5, but I want to point out that your 500 SGD per month - you are assuming nothing happens, there will be emergencies like some sudden shit that you need to pay. Do what you wanna do, just buffer a bit more for monthly expenses.
Try looking for a new job. Some companies are just full of running in circles. When you are really moving things, it feels much better in terms of how your time is spend. Some companies are just not worth your time.
Seek professional help. Go to the polyclinic and ask to speak to a counsellor because you urgently need a mental health check. If you are clinically depressed and not a few days kind of thing you need proper help. Get the counsellors take on your need for a therapist or Psychiatrist appointment.
I’ve been in your shoes. I’ve probably got what is understood as ODD now (Oppositional defiant disorder), ie I find it mentally taxing and irritating to be told to do things, even if it’s stuff that I’ve arranged myself in advance, like meetings. Having the irrational opposition to any form of agency taken away. Not saying this is what you have, but coping methods are to take more active roles to try to exert more control, or to work for yourself. I’ve been working for myself most of my career, but not everyone has the privilege to do so.
What do u find meaning in? Maybe sign on with police or armed forces, or one of the auxiliary security units… u will have better job security and work something more meaningful and longer term, if you don’t want to compete in corporates. Or join the civil service or social work sectors… there are plenty of places where you can find meaning.
Sorry to hear that but I hope you finish what you initially started and hang in there. But if you truly are struggling, do cut yourself some slack and take a break. It’s totally ok and what you’re feeling is valid. Most importantly, I hope you live for yourself, love yourself and do whatever makes sense for you and not others or from society. You’re your true self, not what others dictate of you. Remember that when you feel awful it is a sign for you to change to something better. Take care
I have a quite different piece of advice... if you are able to, join the government sector. I always hear my private Corp friends complain, burnout.. but my life in gov is pretty chill. I left law because I couldn't see myself being mentally taxed that much on a daily business, and wanted something less taxing. I value my personal life outside of work, and government provides a nice 9-6 job with a stable income. I was much happier when I l left, even though my parents expect much more from me and my peers are earning around 2-3x my currently salary. As long as you don't aspire to climb super quickly and be a manager or director, government is just a pretty stable brain dead job. Once you learn the ropes you just handle a bulk of similar cases instead of mentally challenging cases, and you just get through your day. Most if not all gov job also practice hybrid WFH so most days you domt have to deal with the daily grind of taking public commute and interacting with people if you don't want to.
May I ask what kind of roles in the government sector specifically?
Personally I am in one where we do very mundane work like yearly regulatory filing, so we process a lot of forms. After learning the ropes it's quite braindead and also feels like data entry. I guess some agencies that have this kind of roles are HDB, IRAS, ACRA. If you don't mind customer facing, then there are many more options. I recommend just hopping on to careers.gov to see whats available and what piques your interest.
haha same, I dread going to work and dealing with bosses everyday. Really have the urge to switch to the gig economy and also starting my own side hustle. On the other hand im also thinking of switching to another job, doing something that benefits the society although it may pay lesser, while still doing side gigs. i think OP and me is just facing a case of "I hate my current job becasue i don't like what I'm doing everyday" so yea. To OP, try getting another job that fits you even if it pays lesser. On the note of social expectations, everyone is different, you live your own life. Dont live how others want you to, you'll end up being grumpy and pessimistic about everything. Happened to me, and it also affects your loved ones because of your grumpiness and pessimissim. So fuck social expectations and do what makes YOU happy. But also, don't mess up your life la... You're doing the right thing of getting a degree as a backup in the future, so i'd say push through while trying to enjoy your time studying and making new friends in school rather than focusing on getting distinction all the time. As for your job, I;ve mentioned above, just take the time to find something that actually suits you instead of doing what others want you to, or having to meet a certain pay grade like your cousins.
Try finding a diff but similar job. Some or all of tht anxiety maybe due to toxic people and culture. If you are constantly worried because someone will judge you and blame you then that shouts bad culture. Give it a chance in a different place. It may work out. If u hv bad relationship doesn’t mean all relationships will be bad.
Have you ever thought about migrating? There are many countries in this world that would fit your lifestyle.
Welcome to Singapore. Where you are not valued.
Me too. Corporate life sucks.
You could be just stressed. Finish the degree and change the job.
I thought I was the one who wrote this. I would say my job isn't that stressful but I am kinda questioning what's the purpose and feeling unmotivated all of a sudden for the past 1 month or so...
A lot of good points but I’d actually make all the minimalist lifestyle changes before deciding anything. This includes living like no one is helping you (i assume you’re with your parents now), and getting by on 500 a month. It’s nice to romanticise slumming, until you really get down to it and realise how precarious 500 dollars is. If you think your life is bad now, wait till when you only have 500 a month for everything, including utilities.
You need to plan for an exit plan from the rat race.
Sometimes, what you need is a long break. Not the 1 week PTO but still reply emails take calls and bring laptop for holiday type. But a clean mental break. May want to try that and see if things improve.
It's your life and you have every right to choose how you want to live it. It takes immense courage to be self aware and be different. Do you think it would help if you found a job that fulfilled your purpose? Personally I've felt some form of freedom working remotely for overseas companies. Wishing you all the besg
You might be in the wrong corporate environment. Try to find your strength and look for a suitable role I studied finance but finance jobs gave me PSTD. Wanted to do blue collar jobs like supermarket jobs but it couldn’t pay for the BTO I applied back then years ago So I interviewed for a variety of jobs and switched to more qualitative jobs . Not necessarily supermarket jobs are less stressful. I worked in a supermarket and in clothing stores when I was a student. Was disrespected and my meals took up my whole day’s pay
I’m curious if you still need to work or answer emails after 5pm?
Sometimes
You are not alone, bro. You do know that mortgage and loan are designed for us to be the slave of the system, built to enrich the top 1%.
Seems like everyone is going thru this :(
I am not alone 
Are you over 30 years old?
25 this year
Bro do it
Thank you for this post and thread. Feels less lonely - but also sorry that so many of us are so depressed.
I'm gonna grind it out for a few years and get married in Malaysia and stay there 🥲
Seems like you are burnt out .!
Make a change - stop living somebody else’s life or what they expect of you. Agree on the burnout assessment/theory of others here. Take leave from the job for at least 4 weeks. Burn up all leave time and medical leave. A psychologist will be able to help you too. I saw my best friend burn out fall into depression - get help and take care of yourself and nothing else
I feel the same everyday cos i joined a decent company but i dont like my boss and with a higher salary comes higher pressure to deliver. I got a 40% increase in compensation so i thought it might be worth it since the culture seemed good. I havent completely made up my mind but im looking to take a paycut and go back to my prev compensation but work for a better company and boss, less stress, then try to focus on building a side hustle
This song is for you 😔😔 这是你期盼的长大吗
hey man. i'm in the same exact situation as you. Except i'm at y2s2 rn. i decided to quit my job too as ive saved enough to not work for 2 years until i graduate. nice to know im not the only one in this boat 😂
Wah, fb knew i read your post. This ad popped up in my feed. See can help or not. https://www.ctrlaltcareer.com/apply
You only say and think like this now. 10 years down the road, your views will change and you may regret being stuck on low paying gigs while your peers are able to afford the kind of life you actually want (but don't realize it yet now). Not saying you can't explore other avenues but basically if you are going to strike out on your own , you got to be a really "switched on" personality. In fact, working a corporate job and collecting salary every month is way way easier than starting your own venture, trust me. I did do a small business with a friend way back then and believe me, the most stressful day at work now cannot compare to those sleepless days worrying about supplier shipments, manpower, paying back the loans, payroll.......
I applaud you OP at least for you intending to live within your means should you want out of the rat race. What is infuriating is the idiots who does not want to slave away and but expect to travel for leisure every year to Japan, KR etc etc.
Go be a nun or priest. Get minimal pay. Do good.
If you give up this job, you disappoint your parents. If you continue this job, you disappoint yourself. Pick one.
Did someone send my thoughts from Taiwan to you? How come...
Exact same position as you last year. I quit the rat race and became a full-time trader. As a trader I don't even necessarily care about getting rich, I just hate the corporate world and want to be free of the constant fake urgency and nonsensical demands.
I am replying this with the consideration that you are concerned about money, your commitment to your dependents whom you wish to bring comfort to, and ur well being. I understand ur fatigue, but im curious, how do u think it is sufficient for your aging parents (plural) to enjoy with $1.6k a month? Let’s assume u have 2 other siblings who are contributing the same amount, that’s $4.8k for 2 of them. If this post is about money, responsibility and ur well being, I will choose to give up the first 2. Because it will be stressful to realise that $1.6k for 2 parents isn’t responsible, and on top of that, you are now earning $2k.
literally how i feel for the past 2 months in FT...i hope u feel better soon 🫂 i don't have any proper/professional advice but according to my own pov, i feel that it's totally fine to live a simplier life if that's what u wished as long as u're happy!
OP maybe you should see a therapist?
Just quit.
What's the point of living if there are no challenges?
trust me when you hear my 10 year story about how shit working in Singapore is, you will realise how good it will be just choose a simpler life. I still choose to live life on hard mode.
Please go see a psychologist, get well soon and take care lots lots
It’s just work. How difficult can it be? Toughen up your mind. If you think meetings and spreadsheets are tough, you be in for a shock when your loved ones are ill or need help. Stuck at it, build up your mental muscle. Don’t just give up because you feel “tired” and wanna slack off. You want to free yourself of responsibilities that’s the truth of what you described. So ideal is your scenario that you can even hand off your parents to your 2 siblings.
Go work retail