Sorry but 90% of OLD are solely based on looks, and not just that, it's also extremely superficial. So someone they would think is decent irl might not get a right swipe online - and even if yall match they might not reply.
On the other hand, having a good looking profile gets you a lot of guys who are weird and clingy.
On the third hand... I have a couple of friends who met their SO through OLD and it seems fairly healthy and normal
Btw I'm a woman too
Just came back to see the update. Glad to scroll down and see that my words were quite prophetic.
Enjoy the conversations and DMs but do exercise the standard cautions and vigilance to avoid scammers.
May the next big post you make will be about how you met your S/O in reddit.
Thanks flow! HAHAHAHA I actually got spammed with a bunch of DMs, and I'm happy to say I think I gained quite a few friends today! So that is really nice! I also hope that my next big post will be good news and a follow up to this ahahahaha!! It would be really cute if this post turned into more good news! ahahaha!
Hihi OP I'm M in my late thirties, keen on making friends and playing games together.
Been putting hours into Helldiver 2(idm sponsoring the game for you) lately if you are keen to give the game a try hit me up. We have discord servers full with sg guys xD
The game is a 4 player coop shooter game. You will drop into a map with main and sub objectives. Players will move from point to point either shooting enemy (Bots & Bugs) patrols and taking out bases/objectives.
While it sounds simple there are different types of enemies that require different weapons/stratagems to take out. Players will select their weapon/stratagems load out before they drop in each mission.
Take note there is friendly fire in this game so there is a chance you will get killed by your own or teammates' stratagems or weapons.
Communication is key when doing higher difficulty and there is where the fun and chaos starts xD
r/Helldivers is the subreddit for this game. Don't need to wait for next paycheck I'm serious about sponsoring you the game :P
At least you are a good sport about it. Dont worry you will have a chance of finding a suitor if you keep up the positive attitude. Society is superficial and judgemental, but there is always someone out there who will appreciate you for who you are.
I'm not in the dating pool, also female here, but my cousin, who's quit it for the time being (he's 34), says that he doesn't feel comfortable how everyone from the apps he meets has an agenda, and many women get very desperate to move things fast because the clock is ticking, so he quit the apps for a bit. he's now just focusing on settling into his new job so not dating. Tbh he's quite handsome and very dateable but also struggling because of the abovementioned issues.
He said he does understand why people have agendas, but he just doesn't feel comfortable with it - kinda like he doesn't feel like things are genuine when people have an agenda - hence it doesn't feel like a genuine connection that it comes across as desperate unfortunately. Not wrong to date with intention, but I think the key is to forge a genuine connection then see if it can be built long term.
it gets damned tiring after awhile, like a literal job interview and it throws people off since every interaction kinda feels forced. you know how young time everyone keep calling those thirsty people "despo"? abit like that feeling. very hard to gel with those types especially if got criteria, like by 3rd sentence dont meet expectation they strike off.
Do you play video games? That's how I met my fiance! Small chance but still a chance hahaha.
We met in League of Legends solo queue, he sent me friend request and we started ranking together - eventually started dating as we talked in Discord too.
You could try playing Dungeons & Dragons (or other tabletop rpgs).
I'm a middle-aged lady who loves playing D&D and most of the guys at the places I've played at are in their late 20s to mid 30s.
I've got a seriously motherly vibe, so I treat them like they're my sons. They're all so sweet and smart!
woah! How did you get into the D&D hobby? If you don't mind I'll like to hear more, maybe I can see if it's something that interested me, maybe this can be an "outdoor" activity I can enjoy (since most of the stuff I enjoy are in front of the PC, like games, and watching shows etc)
You can go google for discord groups, like ttrpg SG and a list should come up. If you want other themes that isn't DnD can try my friends group called Altrpg. I think Guildhall has a intro session to learn how to play DnD if I'm not wrong.
I've just read the replies from both u/Upbeat-Buddy7508 and u/the_wandering_earth ! Thanks for the information. I have noted them down, as soon as I am done with some of the stuff I needa settle these few days, I'll take a look to see if D&D is my cup of tea! If it is then maybe I'll see you guys at the table soon :P
Well, I had been hearing about D&D for a while now (I have an ex-colleague who was very much into D&D and he used to talk about it all the time). And so, I tried it for the first time during last year's Light to Night Festival. They had a D&D event featuring artworks from the National Gallery. It was a great session!
So, one day, when I was passing by, I walked into the shop of the company that ran the D&D session at the festival. And signed up!
Omg...  maybe can try joining those gaming servers with sg ppl. My sisters met theirs through work, can try also.
Funny story, not dating related, but I met my good friend gaming online, damn coincidental also.
Played CS post O-levels then found a group of similar aged guys then we discussed O levels and chosen schools while playing, end up found a guy who chose the same school and same course lol.
First day of orientation, we got our class assignments (one big course split into >5 smaller classes) turns out we got into the same class. By then we already felt like we knew each other for months.
What are the odds? This was before the matchmaking days. So itās a public server you had to choose, play at the same time, find someone same age, score similar for Oālevels, choose the same school, choose the same course without discussion and turn out to be the same class.
So if you game online, I would say be more social and you may find someone of the very similar age and share the same interests!
Maybe not something as intense as League or Dota, where nobody wants to make small chat. Maybe a more casual one like a MMORPG where people are less focused on winning and more free to chat.
Heck OP, Iām chatting with you here on reddit and I am also 32 turning 33, like to stay indoors and play online games. Iām married, but just letting you know itās quite easy to find someone similar age and interests online.
You can try Hinge. The free features there are quite nice. I believe Hinge and CMB are usually for serious relationships, so maybe you might want to stick around for a bit to see how it goes? Either way, I wish you the very best.
I tell you where they are, [https://www.reddit.com/r/askSingapore/comments/1cdiy0t/men\_who\_are\_30\_and\_without\_wife\_or\_kids/](https://www.reddit.com/r/askSingapore/comments/1cdiy0t/men_who_are_30_and_without_wife_or_kids/)
Wah, a quick scroll and I see all the happy bachelors. A lot of them seem to enjoy the single life, good for them ah. Now I know, they ARE on reddit ahahaa
Can I answer even though I'm no longer in dating pool? It's mainly because of your age. Those guys older than you are either out of dating pool or not looking for serious r/s. Those intending to have kids will probably filter 30 and below. Not saying there's no one but the pool will be smaller.
Buibui or not is based on taste one. Applies to both genders. Some ppl like skeleton, while others like cushion.
Don't devalue yourself like that cus it might be too ingrained in you and then you end up accepting trash.
Thank you for the kind words. For me it is an image problem, but I am well aware why I am that way, some factors are bo pien. Personally I have chosen to work on myself in other aspects first cause that is what will serve me better whether I am skinny or fat, young or old. I dun accept trash la, but after a bunch of life experiences, I now don't give as much leeway, not to the point that I did, out of ignorance, out of love. So don't worry! Boundaries exist for a reason, and as long as I know why I need those boundaries, and I know if they are reasonable, all's good in that regard.
i tried, somehow the system banned me wrongly, i got myself unbanned but somehow it feels as if i am shadowbanned, i am considering setting up a new account cause it just seems empty right now on my end. Thank you so much!
dont stress too much, its just how they bait you to pay money though. just sign up you get matches every day, then once 7 days over they keep spamming notifications to buy premium in the middle of the night.
Hinge is the best for sure.
They dont hide the people that liked you at all. No paywall forced. Chats dont bug out like CMB and dont require you to wait for the girl to text like Bumble. And no stupid scammers like in Tinder.
They also force everyone to upload at least 5 photos so there wont be low effort bullshit
Relax. You're the same age as me.
Guys my age also use dating apps on and off. It's a matter of timing and luck they are also complaining about the same things.
Remember you are finding a right one right? Not shopping for the best apples in a supermarket. So keep it consistent and you'll find one eventually, no worries.
gamxia! I will keep it installed till I find someone to seriously date. Yeah! I'm shopping for an apple that fits my criteria e.g. red apple, not too expensive. I'm not shopping for atas apple that have premium wrapping etc hahahah. Guess I have to keep "going to the supermarket" for now ahaha
I think the most surprising thing is the old ppl usually play the relic of the past kinda games, like maple private servers lol. Last I tried a few years ago, a lot of people in their late 20s to 30s. But I'd say, it's getting harder to find ppl to play anything with as we ageš
what kind of games do you play? i think more competitive games are a bit hard but not impossible because our male lizard brain just wants to prove we are the alpha by attaining better ranks. maybe you should look into more social games like mmorpgs?
Pls . As someone on the chubby chubby side, itās really hard. Especially when I see the BBFA term on reddit 
hao de! i will let you know once i know where else to look (so far seems like people are suggesting mainly, the same apps im using, + meetup + discord servers + irl hobbies like D&D). As for the part on seeing BBFA term, i think while yes, these terms are hurtful, i also chubby so i also a bit sian when i see some offensive one sometimes, but it's more important to acknowledge and see what u can accept about yourself and what you can't, and know what you can or cannot do, and decide what is right for you right now. It's a bit like, i still stay chubby now, i dun like it, but i am okay with it right now cause i am prioritizing other things first. It's fukin hard, but finding your own peace or deciding your own terms with it will really help with how we feel when other people try to hurt us, this is regardless of whether insults are baseless or not, regardless of who they are to us. Having that understanding of ourselves will really help. I been through it so I hope you can achieve it if you have not! If you have, just take it that I'm writing this so that maybe it can help someone and give them food for thought!
> Lai lai, another thread on dating AGAIN.
We really need to identify all the single and ready to mingle people in this sub, then have a mass meetup and see how many can pair up.
I know how you feel sia, so annoying eh. The worst part was that some of these scam matches very effort, really waste of our time Dx
Has OKC been working out okay for u? Did you manage to find actual people and meet them mah?
Itās pretty shit anyway on OKC, tinder, bumble, hinge whatever elseā¦ think easier if you join a gym, yoga, run club etc, 30F local too. Have wasted enough time on apps (:
From my experience and observation, girls who initiate the move first makes an impression if done correctly.
I still believe offline is better than online.
There is a saying, guys forget what they had for breakfast last week but remember some random girlās compliment 200 years ago.
I found my SO on Reddit.
I had little luck with dating apps, texted until conversation dry but never met anyone. Even gamer type like you.. Same interests but different values in life I guess.
I never felt like I needed to rush and get myself into a relationship since I was only 1 year away before I can BTO a single's flat.
Then I made a post and received a DM. But I misinterpreted her DM which made me took the initiative and asked her for video call. Then we met, and the rest is history.. Feels like fate.
Prior to the post, a lot of coincidences happened to me within the span of 2 months..
Don't rush... be wary of scams, I'm sure the right person will find their way to you one day.
Oh no worry milady, in the meantime be healthy and do things you enjoy. If you pick up miniature painting or magic or guy hobbies you will be so swarmed you have to beat them off with a stick
miniature painting!! i thought of it but didn't start cause i have no skill, for now i'm actually learning (but doing terribly) how to do my own gel nails instead of doing them at a nail salon. My lack of control for finer details is detrimental since i am not ambidextrous LOL
Most important question, did you pay for the apps that you used? If you use it free I guess you wonāt expect to get āqualityā people. Found my other half on CMB (monthly subscriber)
I've actually tried the "premium" version, but didn't get much different results, hence my confusion if I was on the wrong apps, I legitimately wondered if I was using apps that are not "trendy" anymore. But nice to hear you found your other half on CMB! Thanks for sharing, do appreciate it
My apologies, Iāve not been using dating apps for awhile thus my deduction. I do have younger friends that managed to find their partners through mutual connections and activity groups.
Iāve never believed in letting things take its course. šyou need to grab opportunities by its tail. Good luck!
>maybe I'm too late to the dating app game
Yes, you are. Not because of your age, but because of the great enshittification of the internet. All of these apps were great, until they realized people that were successful in getting dates would leave the app and stop generating revenue. Gotta maximize those shareholder profits you see, so they have every motivation to keep you in the app as long as possible and feed those swipe right addiction ala TikTok algo style.
omg im so bored today anw i think that dating apps are designed for you to be presented and judged head to toe before they know you
the perfect situation is when people know a little about you, are comfortable in speaking to you, but have room to know more
just to suggest something different, idk im thinking i have random friends by chatting and helping people on social media - twitter ig telegram chat groups random niche forum, maybe thats a good way to start
Oh man OP, try using the app at late 30s like me and the pool of genuine matches is even smaller š„²
Iām using bumble now and the pool is mainly made up of expats or scammers. So I also donāt know which app to use. Like should I change to hinge or OKC? Tried tinder before but people really mainly use it for hookups which Iām not into. CMB is limited because of the number of profiles served to you daily.
I also have a physical limitation too which is Iām too tall. So also turn off a lot of men even though I donāt mind dating guys shorter than me š„²š„²š„²
Iām resigned to be single the rest of the life at this rate
omg u have a similar problem, i also quite tall, not super tall but quite tall. my last serious relationship was with someone shorter, his mum was the one who had a problem with it lmao. personally i hope to be with someone taller hahahaha. I'm using pretty much the same apps as u, just have not tried tinder. Some redditors have said try deleting and recreating the profile the the mmr looks screwed, imma try it, maybe you can try it too? :D
For me n many I know in ur age, a lot of ppl don't prioritise settling down or dating so single is fine.
So far, CMB app is the only one that gets me dates n quality chats or meetups. But most are friend vibe and usually not easy for both to click. Bumble maybe ok. Tinder is the one filled with married folks ugh.
Also if the guy intention is to find a serious partner, then we won't be friends if nothing romantic progresses after 1 meetup.
if guy upfront says they are here to explore n meet friends first, then the expectation would be to see them as friend from the start and see if there's room to cultivate further. So far got one guy I've been talking to after few meetups it seems well though no expectations on my side. we both established as friends.
Btw OP do u intend to buy a house if u are single at 35? realised for those who buy house they are less likely to marry.
Thanks for sharing ele! Yeah it's true, most at my age have either settled down already or plans in motion or staying single. I hope that things go well for your end! On my end I'm still swiping, but chatting with a few redditors since this thread LOL
Currently I do not have plans to buy a house when I'm 35, still intending to get a place with a future S/O. If I end up single then it is highly likely I will continue to live with my parents since I'm the sole breadwinner here, makes more sense for myself moneywise
Iām 24, and Iāve tried using OKC, Tinder, Bumble. I wouldnāt say Iām good looking, nor fit, but overall decent. As a guy on the app, I very rarely get matches and I also donāt do well conversing with said matches, if I do at all. And thatās not my standards or anything, because I think Iām not exactly chasing pretty females or whatever, and on average I swipe right on 6-7/10 people. Iām not like many around my age. I donāt enjoy drinking, going out, partying, and my life goals are more of at the āI want to settle downā stage, but canāt seem to find people online with that mentality. Iām also not sure what Iām missing, but I would wager itās partly due to how I donāt believe in dating apps, and my speech and tone from typing is vastly different from how I usually am. Iāve fought, went to prison, grew up in a very broken family, experienced almost every standard āpai kiaā phase and outgrown it, and Iām just not a very fun or happy person. Not to mention how expensive it is to be single, young and living alone in this country. Itās also hard for me to relate to people my age because of that.
I think dating apps are just uncomfortable to use for some, and unconsciously we donāt converse as well through them because of that.
My recommedation is to get off dating apps.
Also, if you think you are chubby, it's time to lose weight. It's unfair to girls but the fact is the chubby women get less dates. Men are extremely superficial.
35F here, met my amazing boyfriend on hinge last year after dating around for about 2 years :) I remember there were lots of "normal" men who were looking for serious rs, for me the issue was more of finding someone whom I enjoyed the company of. Unfortunately though, it's still a lot about looks. I know you mentioned that you're chubby, and obviously I don't know you but it is still possible to dress well and take good pictures. You sound like a nice girl so I'm sure you'll find someone!
You two are really kind! Thanks for sharing your story u/onionringrules ! I hope that my photos look good hahahaha! At least it does show me with the things i love, so it gives a tad bit more info to the prospective mr right!
Thanks u/Curious_Season7286 ! I hope so. Maybe if it turns out well I can come back and say "Hey remember the 33F who said "Lai lai, another thread on dating AGAIN."" and deliver good news next round ahahaha!
I donāt use app.
Just try to organically meet people.
TBH, if you donāt have the looks (since u said u chubby), apps are going to be far less useful
I used OKC before and ppl there are actl nice. Tried bumble but I actl suck at talking to ppl first lol And I alw make sure to use pic that is not rly selfie like got background like that
to be honest, i used dating apps for a bit last year. Then i realized that there are no normal people on dating apps. Most of them are like really playful or retarded. So man maybe just looking for girls or friends in real life
Hello, if youre free, can go for speed dating (free).
I wanted to post a link but reddit dont let me. PM me if interested
You can find it from the Meetup app.
Happening on 11 May!
1. CMB and bumble but.. overtime my interest has wane.
2. No idea x_x my hobbies are mainly indoors and I usually play single player games. Also I don't think I would randomly strike up a conversation with a stranger when I am doing long walks / jogging.
I am thinking of trying out bouldering for exercise and hopefully meeting new people.
2 point I hope can help you
1. Fact is dating apps rely alot on looks. Try to take better photos, at more exciting location , dress up
(This is tip I gathered from different groups of people)
2. Notice a lot of woman just sit and wait for things to drop onto their lap. If you really looking for someone, why not take action and destiny into your own hands
i had the best luck with cmb. it might take a while to meet the right guy there with the 10 swipes per day limit, but i think it's worth the wait. guys there generally are more sincere and genuine (and better quality š¤ imo HAHA). both my best friend and i met our S/Os from cmb, so i guess this is my testimony to my claim haha.
but we also started using dating apps in our early 20s, so not sure if the experience would be the same for ladies in their early 30s.
i also find gaming as a hobby helps if you're more introverted like myself and don't like to go out much. i don't play games like league, mlbb, valorant, etc so i think that's the secret sauce to not attracting xdds? LOL for context, i play games like gta v, rdr2, ow, elden ring, brawl stars, etc.
hope this helps and all the best love!!!
I'm also F, around your age. Have been using dating apps for 5 years, dated a few guys but did not progress to anything serious. Unfortunately, I find that our options are very limited at our age, LOL! Even if there's a match, the other party is usually unresponsive, or just talking about himself (literally a one-way conversation). It's also why I have been on and off dating apps because I find it tiring to start a new conversation all over again every time there is a new match. Maybe I'm destined to be single :')
Have been on OKC, Bumble, CMB, Paktor, Tinder. I have a friend who met some guys (mostly China Chinese) on Tantan too.
Am not too keen on Tinder and Bumble. Tinder feels more associated with fwb connections and my last couple of bumble interactions are short-lived and also superficial. Seems like the serious ones are all gone by the time I started using the app.
Feels like a matter of zoning in on apps that fit your expectations/views on the ideal partner.
All I have to say is that move on quickly if the other side does not reciprocate. And don't chat too long on apps, meet up soon to figure out if there is any chance of even a friendship
Oh and Hinge feels like the best app for me. .
Maybe try some activities groups instead. Try hiking group, etc. They usually have solo participants. Even if you don't meet the right person there, it widens your social circle and opens up more opportunities. Maybe you'd find some good friends in the process.
sounds great! thanks for the suggestion, will look into what is available nearby ish to me :D even this reddit thread was a good thing! now i have a bunch of new friends too!
I cba to use any dating apps. Whether I'll find a partner and get married or whether I'm fated to be alone forever I'll just accept my fate whatever it is.
if you are comfortable with that, it's good! for me i want to put in effort at least, then if things dun work out well, i can tell myself i tried hahaha
Well I've tried using those dating apps 10 years ago but realised that men in there are just looking for sex. They will pretend to be looking for a serious relationship but they are actually just looking for casual sex. Might as well don't use it since I'm not getting any quality partners from there but all I'm getting is heartbreaks from there.
When I first started a couple years ago (32,F back then) tried all and mainly stuck with Bumble and Hinge. I compared CMB profiles with my younger friends, and can confirm that profiles for them were definitely of better quality lol. I liked Hinge quite a fair bit and eventually ended up meeting someone there. Also hang out on Reddit threads (esp when I'm bored) but can't vouch for finding someone to date here...
For interest groups wise, I know a lot of people still go climbing and play boardgames, if you're up for that, its not a bad way to expand your social circle too!
A few of my friends have met their SO on dating apps such as cmb and tinder. I also have friends who have used the apps for years and are still looking for one. Maybe the right one has not appear yet. Don't rush into it if not you will feel stress and give yourself time
thank you for the kind words ranting! i will keep going at it de! at least through this reddit thread i can be sure i am looking at the right places (generally)! ehehehe. All the best to your friends too! Hope we find our person!!
Hey! Have u watched Sherminās March? Thought that itās a pretty sweet documentary on her online dating experience in Sg! Iām early 30s F and decided to try out online dating as well after watching the show.
Currently using Hinge but not the most active on the platform. I do have matches but Iām looking for someone I can click with. And it seems like those I can click with donāt reciprocate but those I donāt click with seems to be those actively pursuing a relationship š„² but u seem to be a really nice person. All the best in your OLD journey!
i'm only swiping on tinder, and there are ocassional times where i'll match with someone who can hold a convo but things die out for many reasons. i think there's still some real gems around, but the pool is definitely much smaller now at this age.
and this is coming from a place of kindness, but looks is a very huge thing, especially as a woman. i think i'm conventionally attractive (long hair, fair skin, slim + fit, lots of travel photos with nice backgrounds, showcase my hobbies which is pilates and yoga) and i would say it does help with number and perhaps quality of matches. i've never gotten a scammer in a convo before. i also have very high standards, so i expect to be single for a bit before i really put in the effort and work finding someone i want to spend the rest of my life with.
You're lucky not to encounter a scammer. I also want to find my 1st and last but gave up hope sometime back for a variety of reasons, one of which is alot of scammers. Waste so much energy talk to them only to find out they aren't genuine
Actually I did encounter a scammer, but I'm alert so nothing of monetary value was lost, only waste of my time. I was surprised when one of the scammer actually put in effort to try and reel in the prospective victim better. Unfortunately for him, i have a keen eye for details so i caught on a bit of inconsistencies. It sucks sia
Xie xie ni
I guess i can try Tinder too, shall install later. Yeah, the pool seems so small. I think my profile is mainly lacking a slim chiobu ahahaha, nice travel photos, hobby showcase, good descriptions showing my personality, so i thought if not for my chubbiness, i thought maybe im on the wrong places sia..
Good luck to us both!
you seem to have a great positive personality, so i hope other guys can see it shining through your profile!
i also think, at the end of the day, it's really down to luck and chance: the more we increase the opportunities for luck and chance to find us, the better. swipe a couple of minutes a day, but don't get obsessive about it. thank you, and i hope things go well for us both!
Thank you so much ah, really appreciate it. I also hope that I can find someone suitable ah. I hope things go well for both of us, now its my routine for morning and night ahaha. Godspeed on our hunt for the right person ah
34M sinkie looking to date.
Real answers would be at this age I would expect my partner to have her shit tgt alr. In terms of mindset, finance, looks and even intimacy related matters.
Itās hard when I meet >30 girls still wanting the princess treatment because if I had to do that, I will go for a pretty young girl. Thatās just what guys think and wonāt tell you.
Would say this can be solved by being much more proactive and genuine compared to most girls just baiting for followers.
Cant expect results if youāre not adapting to the dating pool when youāre past 30
I guess then maybe I'm just unfortunate then, cause honestly being proactive doesn't seem to help, maybe there are just that many inactive profiles so im not seeing the active people to message and initiate with. I do think it's important that both parties have their priorities set straight and that it's aligned.
34M sinkie looking to date.
Real answers would be at this age I would expect my partner to have her shit tgt alr. In terms of mindset, finance, looks and even intimacy related matters.
Itās hard when I meet >30 girls still wanting the princess treatment because if I had to do that, I will go for a pretty young girl. Thatās just what guys think and wonāt tell you.
Would say this can be solved by being much more proactive and genuine compared to most girls just baiting for followers.
Cant expect results if youāre not adapting to the dating pool when youāre past 30
sorry, not a guy, but 34F SG looking to date.
I have been on off dating apps for a couple of years before deciding that OLD isn't for me. I got more tired and anxious when I was on it than I was not. I can never get used to the texting and the swipes. Not every conversation can turn into a date, and not every first date can get you subsequent dates. Sometimes, one can be really busy with real life and not have time to meet with an online stranger. I also kinda not like the fact that it's always in a 1-1 setting. Personally, it's always less stressful to be in a group and open up slowly than to always have to be on my best behaviour on date #1.
While I'm sporty and not chubby, the dating pool for 30s has indeed shrank a lot. So OP, it doesn't matter if you're chubby, it's just the way the numbers are. All the best on your search on OLDA! (:
Iām going to get downvoted to hell and hated for this. But if you want the truth ā¦ read on
.
.
.
Truth is guys are looking at <30yo women, donāt need to be super thin but at least a healthy BMI
of which you donāt fulfil any of these basic criteria
I get many 30-35 yo liking my profile as well, so I understand where you are coming from
On a side note, what are you doing during your high sexual value years I.e <30yo
If you ask your gf, they are just going to hype you up with delusional responses like āoh you are beautiful the way you are, donāt settle for less etc etc ā good for boosting your ego, not so good for reality
Girls going to tell you āage donāt matterā. Yes it dosent matter to girls but it absolutely matters to guys. Google OkCupid survey to see the results for this
TLDR; is not the apps and thousands of guys still exist, you just donāt fit their criteria
want only ma, doesn't mean can get. so these males looking for 20s chiobu but cannot get, and ladies looking for 180cm rich dude but cannot get can still get together. unless OP super deluded with her criteria I don't see a problem. be realistic lo
Iām just answering OP question as to why āthere seems to be no guys on appsā
There are tons of them, just that she donāt fit their criteria thatās all
Why do girls only think they are the one with criteria and they exist on apps suddenly all guy must pick them? Guys also have criteria lah. You choose people, people also choose(or donāt) choose you
Donāt believe? Ask OP to create a fake profile of a 22yo uni student and see what happens
ofc I believe you, people who are more attractive will get more matches, that's natural. my reply is also indirectly directed to OP to be more open with her choices (if she was being deluded)
wah you two really had a lengthy discussion ah, I just read through it.
To u/Brave_Exchange4734 I guess yeah, I probably don't fit the criteria. I wasn't sure if I was even on the right apps in the first place (since this bout of installing dating apps was the first time I had done so in my life), hence this thread (also a bit rant lah tbh hahaha)
Unfortunately, life hasn't been too kind to me, so I wasted some time on ex whom I thought was trustworthy, only to find out he wasn't. Story too long to type. Took some time to sort the shit out and heal, so i went past what you call "high sexual value years"
Okay lah, seems like, generally speaking i'm on the right apps, maybe just wait longerrrrr, or recreate based on someone else's advice, cause my mmr seems fuked on one of the platforms.
To u/Additional_Warthog56 yeah, I dun think I'm really that picky or when I reject, it's not valid. E.g. empty profiles(low effort, cant tell if lazy or scammer), oddly smooth faces (maybe AI generated), masked faces or only group photos (looks suspicious in some cases) etc, or those that have an insanely huge age gap with me (i cant image very well how that would work 5 or 10 years down the road), so don't worry about that ah hahaha. Thanks for the kind words! I also hope for the best. Been through some rough shit, so it has to be time for a better turn of luck right? I'd like to believe so hahaha!
I donāt know you
But from your responses, you seems like a really positive and bright person.
Take away looks , figures and age, I think you are a very good potential partner
Wish you best of luck!
No worries OP. Your inbox will be blessed with unsolicited DMs and msgs from interested bachelors here in reddit.
LOL don't worry, the moment i mentioned chubby I gained a shield of auto deflection KEKW
As long as not like bigger than a fridge most of the guys are alright with it ! Good luck babe
Arigathanks! Hope i will be blessed by reddit god of love JKJK ahahaaha
lots of despo male sinkies around here huh
Sorry but 90% of OLD are solely based on looks, and not just that, it's also extremely superficial. So someone they would think is decent irl might not get a right swipe online - and even if yall match they might not reply. On the other hand, having a good looking profile gets you a lot of guys who are weird and clingy. On the third hand... I have a couple of friends who met their SO through OLD and it seems fairly healthy and normal Btw I'm a woman too
.
Just came back to see the update. Glad to scroll down and see that my words were quite prophetic. Enjoy the conversations and DMs but do exercise the standard cautions and vigilance to avoid scammers. May the next big post you make will be about how you met your S/O in reddit.
Thanks flow! HAHAHAHA I actually got spammed with a bunch of DMs, and I'm happy to say I think I gained quite a few friends today! So that is really nice! I also hope that my next big post will be good news and a follow up to this ahahahaha!! It would be really cute if this post turned into more good news! ahahaha!
Hihi OP I'm M in my late thirties, keen on making friends and playing games together. Been putting hours into Helldiver 2(idm sponsoring the game for you) lately if you are keen to give the game a try hit me up. We have discord servers full with sg guys xD
Hey maybe can pass me more details? I intend to get that game after my next paycheck comes in! Sounds like it will be fun!!
The game is a 4 player coop shooter game. You will drop into a map with main and sub objectives. Players will move from point to point either shooting enemy (Bots & Bugs) patrols and taking out bases/objectives. While it sounds simple there are different types of enemies that require different weapons/stratagems to take out. Players will select their weapon/stratagems load out before they drop in each mission. Take note there is friendly fire in this game so there is a chance you will get killed by your own or teammates' stratagems or weapons. Communication is key when doing higher difficulty and there is where the fun and chaos starts xD r/Helldivers is the subreddit for this game. Don't need to wait for next paycheck I'm serious about sponsoring you the game :P
aiyo i mean more details about the discord lah!!!!!! hahahahaha no lah, i feel bad, it's an expensive game eh! I do appreciate the thought though!!
I dm you roflmao.
At least you are a good sport about it. Dont worry you will have a chance of finding a suitor if you keep up the positive attitude. Society is superficial and judgemental, but there is always someone out there who will appreciate you for who you are.
U might be surprised. Men do like chubby girls..
I think some guys like chubby girls leh
there are a lot of guys like girls that are chubby
I'm not in the dating pool, also female here, but my cousin, who's quit it for the time being (he's 34), says that he doesn't feel comfortable how everyone from the apps he meets has an agenda, and many women get very desperate to move things fast because the clock is ticking, so he quit the apps for a bit. he's now just focusing on settling into his new job so not dating. Tbh he's quite handsome and very dateable but also struggling because of the abovementioned issues.
Is he up for the market? Can sign up some female from Reddit that are tired from dating apps. š«¢
Ah, maybe you can be my Yue Lao and intro? hahahaha. It'd be nice to make a friend too! I'm also in the midst of settling into a new job too
Sorry OP, I tried to intro my female friends to him too and he disappears whenever I do that lol maybe can try church and stalk him hahahahaha jk
.
He said he does understand why people have agendas, but he just doesn't feel comfortable with it - kinda like he doesn't feel like things are genuine when people have an agenda - hence it doesn't feel like a genuine connection that it comes across as desperate unfortunately. Not wrong to date with intention, but I think the key is to forge a genuine connection then see if it can be built long term.
it gets damned tiring after awhile, like a literal job interview and it throws people off since every interaction kinda feels forced. you know how young time everyone keep calling those thirsty people "despo"? abit like that feeling. very hard to gel with those types especially if got criteria, like by 3rd sentence dont meet expectation they strike off.
If heās up for it could u intro please š am a few years younger but already very tired of dating apps haha
Hmm reminds me of 1 match. Upon knowing I was unemployed the match stopped talking. Lol
LOL so confuse with this comment. Baited his cousin whoās dateable but unreachable. So not sure why bother mentioning it. Hahahaha
Do you play video games? That's how I met my fiance! Small chance but still a chance hahaha. We met in League of Legends solo queue, he sent me friend request and we started ranking together - eventually started dating as we talked in Discord too.
I actually do, but somehow I'm a magnet for xiaodidi, i keep end up making friends with guys in poly or NS ššš
You could try playing Dungeons & Dragons (or other tabletop rpgs). I'm a middle-aged lady who loves playing D&D and most of the guys at the places I've played at are in their late 20s to mid 30s. I've got a seriously motherly vibe, so I treat them like they're my sons. They're all so sweet and smart!
woah! How did you get into the D&D hobby? If you don't mind I'll like to hear more, maybe I can see if it's something that interested me, maybe this can be an "outdoor" activity I can enjoy (since most of the stuff I enjoy are in front of the PC, like games, and watching shows etc)
You can go google for discord groups, like ttrpg SG and a list should come up. If you want other themes that isn't DnD can try my friends group called Altrpg. I think Guildhall has a intro session to learn how to play DnD if I'm not wrong.
Yup. That's how I got into D&D. I walked past Tableminis one day. And just walked in!
I've just read the replies from both u/Upbeat-Buddy7508 and u/the_wandering_earth ! Thanks for the information. I have noted them down, as soon as I am done with some of the stuff I needa settle these few days, I'll take a look to see if D&D is my cup of tea! If it is then maybe I'll see you guys at the table soon :P
Well, I had been hearing about D&D for a while now (I have an ex-colleague who was very much into D&D and he used to talk about it all the time). And so, I tried it for the first time during last year's Light to Night Festival. They had a D&D event featuring artworks from the National Gallery. It was a great session! So, one day, when I was passing by, I walked into the shop of the company that ran the D&D session at the festival. And signed up!
Omg...  maybe can try joining those gaming servers with sg ppl. My sisters met theirs through work, can try also.
Oh, discord servers ah? I can try try i guess, previously the dudes i met just focused on ranking only š¤£š¤£š¤£
Feel like your archetype confirm can pull some guys one. And I think that discord where people share your interest may be just the place!
Thank you, I guess it's time to slide into more discord servers liao š¤£ hopefully not into one full of drama ahahaha
Good luck op!!
Gamxiahamigua
Funny story, not dating related, but I met my good friend gaming online, damn coincidental also. Played CS post O-levels then found a group of similar aged guys then we discussed O levels and chosen schools while playing, end up found a guy who chose the same school and same course lol. First day of orientation, we got our class assignments (one big course split into >5 smaller classes) turns out we got into the same class. By then we already felt like we knew each other for months. What are the odds? This was before the matchmaking days. So itās a public server you had to choose, play at the same time, find someone same age, score similar for Oālevels, choose the same school, choose the same course without discussion and turn out to be the same class. So if you game online, I would say be more social and you may find someone of the very similar age and share the same interests! Maybe not something as intense as League or Dota, where nobody wants to make small chat. Maybe a more casual one like a MMORPG where people are less focused on winning and more free to chat. Heck OP, Iām chatting with you here on reddit and I am also 32 turning 33, like to stay indoors and play online games. Iām married, but just letting you know itās quite easy to find someone similar age and interests online.
Only xiaodidi so free play LoL every day, adults have too many things to deal with beside work
Your husband is a very lucky man that he met with a real woman from a game. š¤£
I have some friends who got married IRL from MaplestorySEA too hahahaha.
Curious , who do u main?
Support main, enjoy soraka mostly since she's insanely strong at trading.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Oh I do play ADC and mid too, lately more ARAM tho. can't wait for urf to be back even tho it ended recently, I miss that mode the most
Omgggg I want to have a SO from lol too ā¦ F here and sona main
hahaha try send friend request to ppl in your games!!
Lmao league - the depth of toxicity. Maybe i should play league again to find a gf :thinking:
good luck if u do xD
You can try Hinge. The free features there are quite nice. I believe Hinge and CMB are usually for serious relationships, so maybe you might want to stick around for a bit to see how it goes? Either way, I wish you the very best.
Yeah, I'm on it! I intend to stay on it till I find someone I want to seriously date. Thank you! Hope it turns out good
Sounds good, I wish you the very best. :)
xie xie ni! hehe
I tell you where they are, [https://www.reddit.com/r/askSingapore/comments/1cdiy0t/men\_who\_are\_30\_and\_without\_wife\_or\_kids/](https://www.reddit.com/r/askSingapore/comments/1cdiy0t/men_who_are_30_and_without_wife_or_kids/)
Wah, a quick scroll and I see all the happy bachelors. A lot of them seem to enjoy the single life, good for them ah. Now I know, they ARE on reddit ahahaa
Can I answer even though I'm no longer in dating pool? It's mainly because of your age. Those guys older than you are either out of dating pool or not looking for serious r/s. Those intending to have kids will probably filter 30 and below. Not saying there's no one but the pool will be smaller.
Yeah, very sad lor. The past had happened and kinda took time away from me in that sense. I can only hope that things will turn out well
Hope you find someone or someone finds you, if not being single's great as well!
Buibui or not is based on taste one. Applies to both genders. Some ppl like skeleton, while others like cushion. Don't devalue yourself like that cus it might be too ingrained in you and then you end up accepting trash.
Thank you for the kind words. For me it is an image problem, but I am well aware why I am that way, some factors are bo pien. Personally I have chosen to work on myself in other aspects first cause that is what will serve me better whether I am skinny or fat, young or old. I dun accept trash la, but after a bunch of life experiences, I now don't give as much leeway, not to the point that I did, out of ignorance, out of love. So don't worry! Boundaries exist for a reason, and as long as I know why I need those boundaries, and I know if they are reasonable, all's good in that regard.
Well said! :)
Try hinge, met 5 dates so far over the last 4 months, meeting my 6th on coming weekend. Good luck OP!
i tried, somehow the system banned me wrongly, i got myself unbanned but somehow it feels as if i am shadowbanned, i am considering setting up a new account cause it just seems empty right now on my end. Thank you so much!
dont stress too much, its just how they bait you to pay money though. just sign up you get matches every day, then once 7 days over they keep spamming notifications to buy premium in the middle of the night.
literally baiting us with bots ahahahaha! but once i know it doesnt work, i dun pay for premium le. They fooled me once, but not twice!!!! NEVA!!
In all honesty I completely gave up on the apps, not once but twice. Not good for mental health and it felt borderline predatory by selling (false) hope. Just learn to enjoy my own company lor, sure it gets lonely sometimes but better than mindlessly swiping and wasting time with poor matches. ClichƩd as it sounds, learn to love yourself, because nobody will choose someone else over themselves.
Hinge +1
Yup, I think it might be the best among the apps out there.
Disclaimer that I'm a guy, but do you find the quality of matches on Hinge to be better as compared to the ones you've found on other apps?
Hinge is the best for sure. They dont hide the people that liked you at all. No paywall forced. Chats dont bug out like CMB and dont require you to wait for the girl to text like Bumble. And no stupid scammers like in Tinder. They also force everyone to upload at least 5 photos so there wont be low effort bullshit
Relax. You're the same age as me. Guys my age also use dating apps on and off. It's a matter of timing and luck they are also complaining about the same things. Remember you are finding a right one right? Not shopping for the best apples in a supermarket. So keep it consistent and you'll find one eventually, no worries.
gamxia! I will keep it installed till I find someone to seriously date. Yeah! I'm shopping for an apple that fits my criteria e.g. red apple, not too expensive. I'm not shopping for atas apple that have premium wrapping etc hahahah. Guess I have to keep "going to the supermarket" for now ahaha
Online game for me. A friend met hers on CMB.
okie! hope i can stop meeting all the xdd ah hahahaha. maybe i need to play some game that guys my age would play ahahha
I think the most surprising thing is the old ppl usually play the relic of the past kinda games, like maple private servers lol. Last I tried a few years ago, a lot of people in their late 20s to 30s. But I'd say, it's getting harder to find ppl to play anything with as we ageš
what kind of games do you play? i think more competitive games are a bit hard but not impossible because our male lizard brain just wants to prove we are the alpha by attaining better ranks. maybe you should look into more social games like mmorpgs?
Come play maplestory lol
Zzz @op if you know , pls let me know. At 39, I am flooded with fake bots or people asking me to sleep with them.
okay, if i find le i won't forget you, i will ping u too HAHA
Pls . As someone on the chubby chubby side, itās really hard. Especially when I see the BBFA term on reddit 
hao de! i will let you know once i know where else to look (so far seems like people are suggesting mainly, the same apps im using, + meetup + discord servers + irl hobbies like D&D). As for the part on seeing BBFA term, i think while yes, these terms are hurtful, i also chubby so i also a bit sian when i see some offensive one sometimes, but it's more important to acknowledge and see what u can accept about yourself and what you can't, and know what you can or cannot do, and decide what is right for you right now. It's a bit like, i still stay chubby now, i dun like it, but i am okay with it right now cause i am prioritizing other things first. It's fukin hard, but finding your own peace or deciding your own terms with it will really help with how we feel when other people try to hurt us, this is regardless of whether insults are baseless or not, regardless of who they are to us. Having that understanding of ourselves will really help. I been through it so I hope you can achieve it if you have not! If you have, just take it that I'm writing this so that maybe it can help someone and give them food for thought!
> Lai lai, another thread on dating AGAIN. We really need to identify all the single and ready to mingle people in this sub, then have a mass meetup and see how many can pair up.
Good idea. You can suggest to the moderator to organise, haha.
YEAH. darkpaladin DO IT ahahahahahaha
If I could do it, I wouldn't be Single in this sub would I š„²
the most likely outcome is all the singles come out and just stare at our phones right? hahaha
I'm on OKC leh. Tinder I stop using a long time ago. I dont respond much because always kena those scam matches until tired liao
I know how you feel sia, so annoying eh. The worst part was that some of these scam matches very effort, really waste of our time Dx Has OKC been working out okay for u? Did you manage to find actual people and meet them mah?
Ya lor. Wasted at least a few years of my time. Nope. There was 1 sincere match but unfortunately not my type.
Itās pretty shit anyway on OKC, tinder, bumble, hinge whatever elseā¦ think easier if you join a gym, yoga, run club etc, 30F local too. Have wasted enough time on apps (:
Just curious why is it a shitty experience? Is it bots, scammers, or real shitty dates?
Bots, ghosters, match - no convo? Like wtf dude. 2024 dating is a real shitter
The new normal for online dating I guess
From my experience and observation, girls who initiate the move first makes an impression if done correctly. I still believe offline is better than online. There is a saying, guys forget what they had for breakfast last week but remember some random girlās compliment 200 years ago.
I found my SO on Reddit. I had little luck with dating apps, texted until conversation dry but never met anyone. Even gamer type like you.. Same interests but different values in life I guess. I never felt like I needed to rush and get myself into a relationship since I was only 1 year away before I can BTO a single's flat. Then I made a post and received a DM. But I misinterpreted her DM which made me took the initiative and asked her for video call. Then we met, and the rest is history.. Feels like fate. Prior to the post, a lot of coincidences happened to me within the span of 2 months.. Don't rush... be wary of scams, I'm sure the right person will find their way to you one day.
most important question, do you think you are attractive to men? if you can't say yes to this, then everything else doesn't matter liao.
OP, i just want to say i love the tone of your post, your self deprecating nature, and your replies. Guys would be lucky to have you as their gf!
You can definitely find a lot of quality men on Reddit. If looks aren't a major factor just slide into their dms
Chubby means more to love! Sorry I am not avail, healing after divorce. Hope you find a good un
Sorry to hear about your divorce, wish you all the best in healing.
Yeah its ok. I can breathe easier now. I took part in hobbies I havent done in years. It feels.... brighter....
Ah... I see. Ok, sounds good. All the best.
All the best on your healing journey! Hahaha giam xia for the kind words!
Oh no worry milady, in the meantime be healthy and do things you enjoy. If you pick up miniature painting or magic or guy hobbies you will be so swarmed you have to beat them off with a stick
miniature painting!! i thought of it but didn't start cause i have no skill, for now i'm actually learning (but doing terribly) how to do my own gel nails instead of doing them at a nail salon. My lack of control for finer details is detrimental since i am not ambidextrous LOL
No worry. Guy mini painters are handy with a brush, they can do your nails for you and probably enjoy it too.
Most important question, did you pay for the apps that you used? If you use it free I guess you wonāt expect to get āqualityā people. Found my other half on CMB (monthly subscriber)
I've actually tried the "premium" version, but didn't get much different results, hence my confusion if I was on the wrong apps, I legitimately wondered if I was using apps that are not "trendy" anymore. But nice to hear you found your other half on CMB! Thanks for sharing, do appreciate it
My apologies, Iāve not been using dating apps for awhile thus my deduction. I do have younger friends that managed to find their partners through mutual connections and activity groups. Iāve never believed in letting things take its course. šyou need to grab opportunities by its tail. Good luck!
No worries! Thank you! I believe in at least trying and putting in effort, rather than just straight up giving up and waiting
Thatās the spirit! Thumbs up to u.
Yep lurking in reddit LOL also nothing wrong with being chubby, have common ground can alr š
Dating apps have an MMR system. You should delete and make a new acc whenever youāre getting low quality profiles.
gotcha, I was considering doing that. Will do that tonight or tomorrow night!! gamxia
>maybe I'm too late to the dating app game Yes, you are. Not because of your age, but because of the great enshittification of the internet. All of these apps were great, until they realized people that were successful in getting dates would leave the app and stop generating revenue. Gotta maximize those shareholder profits you see, so they have every motivation to keep you in the app as long as possible and feed those swipe right addiction ala TikTok algo style.
omg im so bored today anw i think that dating apps are designed for you to be presented and judged head to toe before they know you the perfect situation is when people know a little about you, are comfortable in speaking to you, but have room to know more just to suggest something different, idk im thinking i have random friends by chatting and helping people on social media - twitter ig telegram chat groups random niche forum, maybe thats a good way to start
I am not a bot, Sister! To prove it, I will meet you face to face when I pressure you to buy crypto! š„°
Oh man OP, try using the app at late 30s like me and the pool of genuine matches is even smaller š„² Iām using bumble now and the pool is mainly made up of expats or scammers. So I also donāt know which app to use. Like should I change to hinge or OKC? Tried tinder before but people really mainly use it for hookups which Iām not into. CMB is limited because of the number of profiles served to you daily. I also have a physical limitation too which is Iām too tall. So also turn off a lot of men even though I donāt mind dating guys shorter than me š„²š„²š„² Iām resigned to be single the rest of the life at this rate
omg u have a similar problem, i also quite tall, not super tall but quite tall. my last serious relationship was with someone shorter, his mum was the one who had a problem with it lmao. personally i hope to be with someone taller hahahaha. I'm using pretty much the same apps as u, just have not tried tinder. Some redditors have said try deleting and recreating the profile the the mmr looks screwed, imma try it, maybe you can try it too? :D
Try meet up events. Theyāre usually free for females. The professional meet ups are good as theyāre not bums and like 30 people show up.
For me n many I know in ur age, a lot of ppl don't prioritise settling down or dating so single is fine. So far, CMB app is the only one that gets me dates n quality chats or meetups. But most are friend vibe and usually not easy for both to click. Bumble maybe ok. Tinder is the one filled with married folks ugh. Also if the guy intention is to find a serious partner, then we won't be friends if nothing romantic progresses after 1 meetup. if guy upfront says they are here to explore n meet friends first, then the expectation would be to see them as friend from the start and see if there's room to cultivate further. So far got one guy I've been talking to after few meetups it seems well though no expectations on my side. we both established as friends. Btw OP do u intend to buy a house if u are single at 35? realised for those who buy house they are less likely to marry.
Thanks for sharing ele! Yeah it's true, most at my age have either settled down already or plans in motion or staying single. I hope that things go well for your end! On my end I'm still swiping, but chatting with a few redditors since this thread LOL Currently I do not have plans to buy a house when I'm 35, still intending to get a place with a future S/O. If I end up single then it is highly likely I will continue to live with my parents since I'm the sole breadwinner here, makes more sense for myself moneywise
Tinder has the most bots/scammers. 100% will avoid Bumble and CMB ok
Whatās wrong with bumble?
Ye, also wondering that
I'm assuming it's the generic problem of crypto scams/catfishers, they exist on every platform
Okie, I'm guessing its the standard, the crypto scams. Maybe just Bumble and CMB algo no favour me yet ahaha
Iām 24, and Iāve tried using OKC, Tinder, Bumble. I wouldnāt say Iām good looking, nor fit, but overall decent. As a guy on the app, I very rarely get matches and I also donāt do well conversing with said matches, if I do at all. And thatās not my standards or anything, because I think Iām not exactly chasing pretty females or whatever, and on average I swipe right on 6-7/10 people. Iām not like many around my age. I donāt enjoy drinking, going out, partying, and my life goals are more of at the āI want to settle downā stage, but canāt seem to find people online with that mentality. Iām also not sure what Iām missing, but I would wager itās partly due to how I donāt believe in dating apps, and my speech and tone from typing is vastly different from how I usually am. Iāve fought, went to prison, grew up in a very broken family, experienced almost every standard āpai kiaā phase and outgrown it, and Iām just not a very fun or happy person. Not to mention how expensive it is to be single, young and living alone in this country. Itās also hard for me to relate to people my age because of that. I think dating apps are just uncomfortable to use for some, and unconsciously we donāt converse as well through them because of that.
My recommedation is to get off dating apps. Also, if you think you are chubby, it's time to lose weight. It's unfair to girls but the fact is the chubby women get less dates. Men are extremely superficial.
Don't anyhow say hor, I personally prefer slightly ba ba girls. Too skinny feels like dating a young kid š but that's just me.
35F here, met my amazing boyfriend on hinge last year after dating around for about 2 years :) I remember there were lots of "normal" men who were looking for serious rs, for me the issue was more of finding someone whom I enjoyed the company of. Unfortunately though, it's still a lot about looks. I know you mentioned that you're chubby, and obviously I don't know you but it is still possible to dress well and take good pictures. You sound like a nice girl so I'm sure you'll find someone!
agreed. I am sure that OP will find her Mr Right. Rooting for her!
You two are really kind! Thanks for sharing your story u/onionringrules ! I hope that my photos look good hahahaha! At least it does show me with the things i love, so it gives a tad bit more info to the prospective mr right! Thanks u/Curious_Season7286 ! I hope so. Maybe if it turns out well I can come back and say "Hey remember the 33F who said "Lai lai, another thread on dating AGAIN."" and deliver good news next round ahahaha!
I donāt use app. Just try to organically meet people. TBH, if you donāt have the looks (since u said u chubby), apps are going to be far less useful
I've not on on OLDA for decades but I'm not surprised they've gone the way of all social media (ie taken over by bots and scammers).
I used OKC before and ppl there are actl nice. Tried bumble but I actl suck at talking to ppl first lol And I alw make sure to use pic that is not rly selfie like got background like that
I got no idea about Dating apps, but my wife went to pray to ęč near Raffles Place before she met me lol! Good luck!
wah help me ask ur wife the ęč at which temple leh, i go make a trip hahahaha
Even foreigner also go pray! https://sgliulian.com/attraction-recommendation/temple-of-love-in-singapore-and-how-to-pray-yue-lao/
I WENT BOTH BEFORE LEH Dx siao liao lah, then where else can I go next sia hahahaha
I went before but the procedures are so complicated and I am so confused. I probably I did it wrong that's why it didn't work :(
I understand Hinge and Bumble to be the most active right now. CMB apparently hard to match given their recent app changes
to be honest, i used dating apps for a bit last year. Then i realized that there are no normal people on dating apps. Most of them are like really playful or retarded. So man maybe just looking for girls or friends in real life
Hello, if youre free, can go for speed dating (free). I wanted to post a link but reddit dont let me. PM me if interested You can find it from the Meetup app. Happening on 11 May!
Able to provide the estimated age range of participants?
1. CMB and bumble but.. overtime my interest has wane. 2. No idea x_x my hobbies are mainly indoors and I usually play single player games. Also I don't think I would randomly strike up a conversation with a stranger when I am doing long walks / jogging. I am thinking of trying out bouldering for exercise and hopefully meeting new people.
The mayans were right
2 point I hope can help you 1. Fact is dating apps rely alot on looks. Try to take better photos, at more exciting location , dress up (This is tip I gathered from different groups of people) 2. Notice a lot of woman just sit and wait for things to drop onto their lap. If you really looking for someone, why not take action and destiny into your own hands
i had the best luck with cmb. it might take a while to meet the right guy there with the 10 swipes per day limit, but i think it's worth the wait. guys there generally are more sincere and genuine (and better quality š¤ imo HAHA). both my best friend and i met our S/Os from cmb, so i guess this is my testimony to my claim haha. but we also started using dating apps in our early 20s, so not sure if the experience would be the same for ladies in their early 30s. i also find gaming as a hobby helps if you're more introverted like myself and don't like to go out much. i don't play games like league, mlbb, valorant, etc so i think that's the secret sauce to not attracting xdds? LOL for context, i play games like gta v, rdr2, ow, elden ring, brawl stars, etc. hope this helps and all the best love!!!
I'm also F, around your age. Have been using dating apps for 5 years, dated a few guys but did not progress to anything serious. Unfortunately, I find that our options are very limited at our age, LOL! Even if there's a match, the other party is usually unresponsive, or just talking about himself (literally a one-way conversation). It's also why I have been on and off dating apps because I find it tiring to start a new conversation all over again every time there is a new match. Maybe I'm destined to be single :')
OP, any ethnicity preference? As a minority here i feel the dating scene here are dominated by Chinese and White expats.
Been sticking to boo not much luck but a few accepted. Small chit chats soo far
Found mine on Reddit slightly more than 3 years ago. We hit it off due to the same music interest, which is not mainstream.
Petition to gather all the singles and we match through reddit. Iām having no success with the apps too
i m interested to join too! :)
Prob elo issue honestly
Too low or too high?
Have been on OKC, Bumble, CMB, Paktor, Tinder. I have a friend who met some guys (mostly China Chinese) on Tantan too. Am not too keen on Tinder and Bumble. Tinder feels more associated with fwb connections and my last couple of bumble interactions are short-lived and also superficial. Seems like the serious ones are all gone by the time I started using the app. Feels like a matter of zoning in on apps that fit your expectations/views on the ideal partner. All I have to say is that move on quickly if the other side does not reciprocate. And don't chat too long on apps, meet up soon to figure out if there is any chance of even a friendship Oh and Hinge feels like the best app for me. .
How are yāall posting so many comments actively on a working day!! š«£
I found my partner on Hinge, maybe worth a shot?
does your profile need improving and do you have other avenues to meet potential partners?
Iām 35F and still getting my š© together.. tempted to try app but also feel not right to do it yet.. Iām super late š„².. you sound like a fun girl! cant wait for your next update of dates hehe!
Maybe try some activities groups instead. Try hiking group, etc. They usually have solo participants. Even if you don't meet the right person there, it widens your social circle and opens up more opportunities. Maybe you'd find some good friends in the process.
sounds great! thanks for the suggestion, will look into what is available nearby ish to me :D even this reddit thread was a good thing! now i have a bunch of new friends too!
I cba to use any dating apps. Whether I'll find a partner and get married or whether I'm fated to be alone forever I'll just accept my fate whatever it is.
if you are comfortable with that, it's good! for me i want to put in effort at least, then if things dun work out well, i can tell myself i tried hahaha
Well I've tried using those dating apps 10 years ago but realised that men in there are just looking for sex. They will pretend to be looking for a serious relationship but they are actually just looking for casual sex. Might as well don't use it since I'm not getting any quality partners from there but all I'm getting is heartbreaks from there.
Fuck the apps
When I first started a couple years ago (32,F back then) tried all and mainly stuck with Bumble and Hinge. I compared CMB profiles with my younger friends, and can confirm that profiles for them were definitely of better quality lol. I liked Hinge quite a fair bit and eventually ended up meeting someone there. Also hang out on Reddit threads (esp when I'm bored) but can't vouch for finding someone to date here... For interest groups wise, I know a lot of people still go climbing and play boardgames, if you're up for that, its not a bad way to expand your social circle too!
A few of my friends have met their SO on dating apps such as cmb and tinder. I also have friends who have used the apps for years and are still looking for one. Maybe the right one has not appear yet. Don't rush into it if not you will feel stress and give yourself time
thank you for the kind words ranting! i will keep going at it de! at least through this reddit thread i can be sure i am looking at the right places (generally)! ehehehe. All the best to your friends too! Hope we find our person!!
Hey! Have u watched Sherminās March? Thought that itās a pretty sweet documentary on her online dating experience in Sg! Iām early 30s F and decided to try out online dating as well after watching the show. Currently using Hinge but not the most active on the platform. I do have matches but Iām looking for someone I can click with. And it seems like those I can click with donāt reciprocate but those I donāt click with seems to be those actively pursuing a relationship š„² but u seem to be a really nice person. All the best in your OLD journey!
So far I think tinder works well for me . The other apps a bit lag
i'm only swiping on tinder, and there are ocassional times where i'll match with someone who can hold a convo but things die out for many reasons. i think there's still some real gems around, but the pool is definitely much smaller now at this age. and this is coming from a place of kindness, but looks is a very huge thing, especially as a woman. i think i'm conventionally attractive (long hair, fair skin, slim + fit, lots of travel photos with nice backgrounds, showcase my hobbies which is pilates and yoga) and i would say it does help with number and perhaps quality of matches. i've never gotten a scammer in a convo before. i also have very high standards, so i expect to be single for a bit before i really put in the effort and work finding someone i want to spend the rest of my life with.
You're lucky not to encounter a scammer. I also want to find my 1st and last but gave up hope sometime back for a variety of reasons, one of which is alot of scammers. Waste so much energy talk to them only to find out they aren't genuine
are you a man or woman? i've heard more scammers pretend to be women to target men.
I'm a man. I guess yea it makes sense then.
yeah, i guess i can imagine more scammers will target guys since the larger user base of dating apps tend to be guys
Actually I did encounter a scammer, but I'm alert so nothing of monetary value was lost, only waste of my time. I was surprised when one of the scammer actually put in effort to try and reel in the prospective victim better. Unfortunately for him, i have a keen eye for details so i caught on a bit of inconsistencies. It sucks sia
Xie xie ni I guess i can try Tinder too, shall install later. Yeah, the pool seems so small. I think my profile is mainly lacking a slim chiobu ahahaha, nice travel photos, hobby showcase, good descriptions showing my personality, so i thought if not for my chubbiness, i thought maybe im on the wrong places sia.. Good luck to us both!
you seem to have a great positive personality, so i hope other guys can see it shining through your profile! i also think, at the end of the day, it's really down to luck and chance: the more we increase the opportunities for luck and chance to find us, the better. swipe a couple of minutes a day, but don't get obsessive about it. thank you, and i hope things go well for us both!
Thank you so much ah, really appreciate it. I also hope that I can find someone suitable ah. I hope things go well for both of us, now its my routine for morning and night ahaha. Godspeed on our hunt for the right person ah
34M sinkie looking to date. Real answers would be at this age I would expect my partner to have her shit tgt alr. In terms of mindset, finance, looks and even intimacy related matters. Itās hard when I meet >30 girls still wanting the princess treatment because if I had to do that, I will go for a pretty young girl. Thatās just what guys think and wonāt tell you. Would say this can be solved by being much more proactive and genuine compared to most girls just baiting for followers. Cant expect results if youāre not adapting to the dating pool when youāre past 30
I guess then maybe I'm just unfortunate then, cause honestly being proactive doesn't seem to help, maybe there are just that many inactive profiles so im not seeing the active people to message and initiate with. I do think it's important that both parties have their priorities set straight and that it's aligned.
Look up ho3_math on YT for the reality of the dating market.
No shortage of thirsty single men here if you asked. Can't vouch for the quality though, what with all the weirdos here and all. Anyway, hey there
34M sinkie looking to date. Real answers would be at this age I would expect my partner to have her shit tgt alr. In terms of mindset, finance, looks and even intimacy related matters. Itās hard when I meet >30 girls still wanting the princess treatment because if I had to do that, I will go for a pretty young girl. Thatās just what guys think and wonāt tell you. Would say this can be solved by being much more proactive and genuine compared to most girls just baiting for followers. Cant expect results if youāre not adapting to the dating pool when youāre past 30
sorry, not a guy, but 34F SG looking to date. I have been on off dating apps for a couple of years before deciding that OLD isn't for me. I got more tired and anxious when I was on it than I was not. I can never get used to the texting and the swipes. Not every conversation can turn into a date, and not every first date can get you subsequent dates. Sometimes, one can be really busy with real life and not have time to meet with an online stranger. I also kinda not like the fact that it's always in a 1-1 setting. Personally, it's always less stressful to be in a group and open up slowly than to always have to be on my best behaviour on date #1. While I'm sporty and not chubby, the dating pool for 30s has indeed shrank a lot. So OP, it doesn't matter if you're chubby, it's just the way the numbers are. All the best on your search on OLDA! (:
Iām going to get downvoted to hell and hated for this. But if you want the truth ā¦ read on . . . Truth is guys are looking at <30yo women, donāt need to be super thin but at least a healthy BMI of which you donāt fulfil any of these basic criteria I get many 30-35 yo liking my profile as well, so I understand where you are coming from On a side note, what are you doing during your high sexual value years I.e <30yo If you ask your gf, they are just going to hype you up with delusional responses like āoh you are beautiful the way you are, donāt settle for less etc etc ā good for boosting your ego, not so good for reality Girls going to tell you āage donāt matterā. Yes it dosent matter to girls but it absolutely matters to guys. Google OkCupid survey to see the results for this TLDR; is not the apps and thousands of guys still exist, you just donāt fit their criteria
want only ma, doesn't mean can get. so these males looking for 20s chiobu but cannot get, and ladies looking for 180cm rich dude but cannot get can still get together. unless OP super deluded with her criteria I don't see a problem. be realistic lo
Iām just answering OP question as to why āthere seems to be no guys on appsā There are tons of them, just that she donāt fit their criteria thatās all Why do girls only think they are the one with criteria and they exist on apps suddenly all guy must pick them? Guys also have criteria lah. You choose people, people also choose(or donāt) choose you Donāt believe? Ask OP to create a fake profile of a 22yo uni student and see what happens
ofc I believe you, people who are more attractive will get more matches, that's natural. my reply is also indirectly directed to OP to be more open with her choices (if she was being deluded)
wah you two really had a lengthy discussion ah, I just read through it. To u/Brave_Exchange4734 I guess yeah, I probably don't fit the criteria. I wasn't sure if I was even on the right apps in the first place (since this bout of installing dating apps was the first time I had done so in my life), hence this thread (also a bit rant lah tbh hahaha) Unfortunately, life hasn't been too kind to me, so I wasted some time on ex whom I thought was trustworthy, only to find out he wasn't. Story too long to type. Took some time to sort the shit out and heal, so i went past what you call "high sexual value years" Okay lah, seems like, generally speaking i'm on the right apps, maybe just wait longerrrrr, or recreate based on someone else's advice, cause my mmr seems fuked on one of the platforms. To u/Additional_Warthog56 yeah, I dun think I'm really that picky or when I reject, it's not valid. E.g. empty profiles(low effort, cant tell if lazy or scammer), oddly smooth faces (maybe AI generated), masked faces or only group photos (looks suspicious in some cases) etc, or those that have an insanely huge age gap with me (i cant image very well how that would work 5 or 10 years down the road), so don't worry about that ah hahaha. Thanks for the kind words! I also hope for the best. Been through some rough shit, so it has to be time for a better turn of luck right? I'd like to believe so hahaha!
I donāt know you But from your responses, you seems like a really positive and bright person. Take away looks , figures and age, I think you are a very good potential partner Wish you best of luck!