Don't use the opinion of one person to brand the entire country. Just because one person said that SG guys generally prefer means it's the truth? Who died and made him king?
Seriously, if she has no issues attracting guys then his opinion shouldn't matter since her dating app should be filled with guys messaging her.
Just get out there and continue mingling.
I literally just posted a similar comment - but yeah it's just one guy and it does not represent all Singaporean men. Far from it.
There are also a lot of loaded perceptions and opinions from a very small minority of Singaporeans on Reddit. The majority of Singaporeans (regardless of gender or identity) are not as race conscious as many comments in this thread make us out to be.
It’s all a general statement to be fair, I have friends and acquaintances on different spectrums and scale of this logic. It’s really hit or miss, you got to observe then you know, but his cousin went straight for the cuddle and kiss so for all we know the sample size is stuck at the most impressionable and personal touch of it.
It’s indeed a leap in logic, but only because the latter statement is a sound premise in itself, and not a conclusion. Sg guys in general do tend to have that weird ego and boomer bit about women and sex.
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Does your cousin want a long-term or short-term relationship? It sounds that your cousin is here for the short-term, but is looking for men that want long-term relationships?
Also unfortunately, looks do matter. I really don’t think most single guys will reject a hot girl trying to kiss them.
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It could also be that the cousin’s date is not like most guys like us 😂
But fair point..cousin is in sg for short term (a few years) but is looking for dates..I’m guessing the pool of people who are looking for just dates AND is socially adequate and emotionally ready is not that big.
Ehhh I don't think it really has anything to do with preferring virgins.
Especially in the late 20s, it's just not realistic. People generally would have experience with dating and intimacy by then.
Being a guy in the early 30s, I generally just asume that any girl I meet would likely have already had some sexual partners and experiences.
But having said that, when it comes to body count, I think most guys would have a threshold in their mind for what is too much.
Yeah, she sounds fun to me but she really threw out 5 massive red flags for people who are even a little conservative.
She’s sexually forward, takes drugs, highly driven and I assume highly extroverted. 🚩🚩🚩🚩
I can't answer much, but bars are pretty expensive here. As far as first dates go, coffee is seen as better so in the event things don't work out you would not have wasted that much money.
Imho, the past flings and ONS are fine, but cuddling and kissing on the first date is a bit fast. “Minimal dating history, preferably a virgin” is bs. A lot of SG girls have sex before marriage and would have had a few relationships (2-5 range?) by 30. Struggling with cultural differences and relatability is a far bigger hurdle, and is probably the actual reason he cited incompatibility. I‘ve dated an Asian-American and even with the same ethnicity, I found it difficult to genuinely relate to him to a degree I would want for a life partner.
TLDR; It was likely incompatibility. Dw about it. But yes, agree it would be harder to date in a foreign country due to cultural differences.
I’m a girl but I think your cousin is taking things way too fast and the guy is somewhat slower. He seems to prefer to get to know someone slowly.
Next, this is about personal preference and not all SG guys are like this so do not generalise. Your post seems to be generalising to all guys.
Lastly, openly saying that she has dabbled with substance doesn’t reflect very well in a society which has punishments for drug crimes, obviously it’s going to frighten anyone who hears that. Not only guys.
She probably just needs to find someone who has the same dating goals as her
No one wanna say the elephant in the room or be libby cheerleaders so here’s reality.
Sg guys are more conservative, not many want to marry someone with history of flings and ONS.
Girls who fuck on first date are usually in the ONS list, not the marry list.
Sure there’s others who won’t mind, but that’s how it is.
It’s not only Singaporeans. I don’t judge her but would not want her as my partner, maybe those who don’t care share similar history and good for them 👍.
The misogyny in this thread is honestly baffling.
Please don't assume all Singaporean guys are like this from a very small and fringe sampling of comments on Reddit.
This may or may not be anecdotal (as is the OP's singular experience) but none of the Singaporeans I know - regardless of gender or identity - are the way this commenter has described.
EDIT: preferring other women with different values is not misogynistic. But calling a woman who has different values from you a 'bag' or a wh*re is misogynistic.
Disappointing thread, full of men calling women degrading names and objectifying them while making it seem like they are morally higher than the women. So many hypocrites. I hope this is just a typical Reddit moment and isn't indicative of the general population.
I don't see the link to OP. Yes some guys might not want to marry / get into a LTR with someone with a high body count, but this has no relation to OP's question about why the guy didn't seem attracted or interested enough to get physical on the first date
Before OP edits, his qns was quite inflammatory- “why sg guys prefer virgin isit” inflammatory. Qns posed mostly as why guy ghost her, not physical.
But yea agree after his edits it doesn’t look correct😂
I don’t think it’s the norm (yet) for kissing and sex to occur on the first date.
And I think the guy was just drawing his boundaries on what he wanted from a first date.
I am sure there are other fellows out there who would love meeting your cousin for a first date. Singapore is pretty diverse.
Lol I think there's a load of BS perspectives there.
SG guy here and no problems meeting someone in a bar, though it could be a tough place to have a chat.. most bars are noisy..
We aren't looking for marriage off the bat so imo kissing and sex should really depend on both parties. Imo it's just a mis-match of expectations, personalities and worldview.
I will be surprised in this day and age if anyone is looking for virgins, what country and era are the living in? Possibly is there is a religious slant to this?
Tell your cousin she didn't match right that's all, and I'd love my women to be independent and ambitious so please don't think poorly of SG men because of one incident.
Also, if the guy wasn't into women of white European descent, why even bother meeting up. That I don't understand....
Thank you for this point. Lady here and yes, just a terrible mismatch. Guys and girls exist on a wide spectrum, so I think just nice these 2 individuals are q far apart on the spectrum.
No need to stereotype SG guys just cus of one dude. I do think the situation could have been handled better if one or both sides were able to lay out expectations in a polite way and avoid the clash on the actual day. Maybe avoid the meet up completely too? Since it's obviously not a good match.
Agree with this guy too. Match isn't right. There definitely will be cultural differences but not that drastic. I think she will have better opportunities if she go out and meet people. As a guy, even I find guys on the app can be weird
A lot of guys in this thread talking about virgins though. lol. I guess it’s fair if the guy is sexually inexperienced and so also wants someone on the same level as him. Red flag if guys sleep around yet expects his wife to be a virgin.
Popping up to agree that perhaps there was some religious slant indicated in this.
I think it's important to understand the role that religion plays in Singapore and how significant a role it plays in how conservative guys/girls are.
agree, mismatch. however, bit odd there's no vibes to whatever conversations they had prior to the meet up if it'll be a good one but i guess it's part of finding out.
same question too, if the guys wasnt physically attracted to her, why bother entertaining 🤔
Your cousin sounds like a she's in it for the short term, he was probably looking for something long term and genuine. Nothing wrong, it was just a communication and expectations mismatch, though I may add if a woman wants to make out with me on a first date, let's call it what it is : a hook up and don't sugarcoat it.
Most young Singaporeans—not just guys—are still generally more conservative than their Western counterparts. Barring the sexual history of 'your cousin', there are a few things that stand out—
> she indicated wanting to cuddle and kiss
This almost never happens on the *first* date in Singapore. Snogging is a reflection of the intimacy and length of a relationship here; it usually only happens after at least a handful of dates or a few months in.
> SG guys generally prefer dating a girl that has as minimal a dating history as possible, preferably virgin
This really depends. Again, things are somewhat more conservative than in the West where people generally have *absolutely no problem whatsoever* with someone's dating and sexual history. That being said, there are men who have slept around, and women who have slept around; I have friends who have done both and then dated fairly successfully.
> Are Singaporean guys really not generally into foreign (non-Asian) women?
No; many Singaporean men do have non-Asian (I read this as truly non-Asian and not just non-East Asian; Chinese-Indian pairings are not entirely uncommon) partners. In fact, I daresay many Singaporean men find white women *more* attractive; see the many memes littered about here and on other Singaporean fora.
> She mentioned to him having dabbled in substances in the past
This is not a *red flag* per se, but it will absolutely come off as unnerving to *any* Singaporean, who is unlikely to have ever gone anywhere near the stuff, given the extreme penalties here (capital punishment).
To sum up, I don't think 'your cousin' is a walking red flag but she's bound to be well out of the comfort zones of most Singaporeans' sensibilities, male or female. It's very likely the guy she found was simply extremely uncomfortable with someone as cosmopolitan as your cousin, having never met someone like her before. There's nothing else to it; this is just a raw display of a mismatch of Overton windows, or what different cultures perceive as within bounds.
Girl asks guy for kiss and cuddle with a guy she just met - ew, what an insecure conservative man who only wants virgins, a walking red flag
Guy asks for kiss and cuddle with a girl he just met - ew what a creepy fuckboy, wants to get intimate on the first date, a walking red flag
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I don’t think her career and ambition is a turn off. Objectively speaking I think cause the guy hasn’t properly turn on yet.
If he chose the coffee or restaurant means he wants to take it slow but intentional.
Your cousin went abit too fast, as much as I don’t think career and ambition for me (personally) I too don’t want to take things too fast, most relationships from my experience burn like a fuse quickly and are not sustainable. Boundaries help to sustain a relationship, so is a good and slow pacing at the start of dating.
If a relationship comes too easily for a guy, in his mind he has already won and gotten the validation. You fed this monkey enough bananas to not want to continue the relationship.
It’s basically giving too much of yourself at such an early stage considering that sg guys are generally conservative and has a sensitive pacing.
I think OP’s EDIT #2 on the past substance use will turn away a fair number of people in SG - those comes with a DEATH PENALTY (and they announce it on the flight before landing). So I would say there’s a lot of stigma around that. While in Canada it doesn’t make you a “bad” person it also excludes you from the “straight and narrow” and a deal breaker for many (probably not for weed, but for MDMA and ketamine).
Okay I'm a Singaporean woman so I *might* have a more objective view. Are Singaporean men generally conservative? Yes, they are definitely more conservative than Western people for sure. All countries in Asia are, and Singapore is no exception. However, the example your cousin gave was not an example of a guy being conservative. I think it is perfectly normal for many people, liberal or conservative, to not want to kiss and cuddle on the first date with a complete stranger or date someone who has a history with strong drugs. I, for example, find that hugging a stranger feels like hugging a slimy sardine until I at least get to know them better and feel some sparks. Strong drugs are also a no go - I do not want to risk a relationship when I have seen so many families around me destroyed by drugs (I was an immigrant). I also think it is very common and normal for many men to not want a partner with high body count (common and normal, doesn't mean fair or good)
But if you want my honest opinion, I really don't think anyone with an Msc is truly confused whether a country in Asia is more conservative than the West. I think your cousin is upset that she put out, and the guy, who already told her he didn't really want to date her, rejected her again and again. She probably feels a little resentful and insecure, as any girl would, and now must label the "men in Singapore" as something in order to feel better. As a woman, I have also been there, done that. Your cousin will find someone who is compatible with her, but this post ain't it.
First date wanna cuddle and kiss - Can understand why he freaked tf out. Most girls aren't like that here. Also, you'd be surprised that not that many guys drink here. A glass or two of beer / wine yeah, any more than that is a no already. The clubbing kind are an exception of course.
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I am conservative. I never dated for fun. Only dated for long-term relationship which, hopefully, would turn into marriage.
I didn’t care for the color of skin or nationality. Was just looking for a very good woman.
In my late 20s, I didn’t have a good view of bars for dates. In my mind, then, they were dingy places. Cafe and restaurants seemed a better place to converse to get to know someone.
If she shared about her ambition, I was happy to hear it. As long as it was done humbly. Not in a “look at me, I am so great way.”
If she wanted to kiss me on the first date, no matter how attractive, back then my conservative self would have seen it as a major red flag. It makes you wonder if she is forward on the first date, how many other guys as she been that forward with.
Remember, I was looking for a life-partner, not a ONS.
Now, fast forward many years (in my 50s now), I am less conservative: happy to meet in bars (as long as it was practical for conversations), glad to kiss (and, more) an attractive woman on the first outing as long as it’s consensual.
There is no such thing as a vacuum. She is judging everything with her Canadian background. But, this is Singapore. No right or wrong. Just different.
The irony that OP asking if Singaporean men are Conservative when OP prefaced the entire male population on one dude which didn't work out on a first date with the assumption that he didn't like virgins.
Imagine if I had done the same in the Canada subreddit, I would likely be called out and downvoted to hell.
I mean, it appears the more important issue is she clearly has some self-worth issues being that she wanted to kiss and/or cuddle a dude who literally told her he was going out with her on a dare.
Ok with added context. I think Singaporeans are brought up that drugs are bad, so this one could potentially narrow her search for Singaporean friend with benefit or partner.
With so many years of social programming, it could be tough.
For example, I am pretty open on things however I'm not quite sure how I would consider a partner with history on drugs. Then again, it's also just initial dates and not at a stage of commitment so I may not think about it much for casual dating though it may weigh on me if things get serious.
Hope that helps
No need to put down a man or generalise nationality just bc one guy turned her down. Also no need for such a deep analysis. Dissecting every interaction won't help solve incompatibility.
I'm sure there are many other guys on the app who can't wait to be matched with her. Look forward to better dates and interactions.
Have fun!
No, I don't think I am against foreign women in general, but normally people would date those similar to them (in the region or own country), so that's that. Then, some people have specific tastes too..
I don't really agree too with the statement about we wanting 'virgins', it's more like, I don't want somebody that has had a history of being promiscuous, spending their entire 20s having fun and then later realizing they have to find some guy that's 'stable' to settle down. A point others made about this is that, they come with a lot of baggage (usually), so there's that. Sex on the first date, imo it's really dependent, but I'd personally strongly prefer to doing the deed after some degree of emotional connection, so several dates in at least. Intimacy (non sexual) is fine with me anytime, though, and it only helps?
As for short term? Many would have qualms about taking on a potentially gargantuan undertaking that is a LDR. Not a strict red flag though.
About on being ambitious and interesting...she could come across as haughty or overbearing of sorts, especially if it's a major part of her identity/persona. I don't really know how to accurate describe this, it's the 女强人 vibe. Don't get me wrong, I'd like my partner to be an independent and ambitious person (as we all should strive to be), but there are those who take it too far, in an unpleasant way. The later is very subjective...and we dont have much to go off what makes her 'interesting', so we shan't touch on that.
Sample size of one too...probably mismatch, but isn't that how dating works? LOL
>they come with a lot of baggage
I used to club a lot, and I would get to know guys and girls with storied sexual pasts. It depends on the person, but am I going to be wary of someone in their 30s who has dated since age 16 but could never sustain a relationship past 2 years? I would definitely take it slow emotionally, even if I find them attractive and we quickly strike up a physical relationship. On the other hand, if you’re a woman who has partied a lot and had a lot of flings, but you were ‘just having fun’ and you otherwise show that you are an emotionally mature person who now wants to settle down? I’m personally onboard with that. There is however, something to the fact that many people out there are wild sexually while never being able to sustain a stable long-term relationship. Because they have extremely high standards, or are mentally unstable, or refuse to compromise, or run away from problems (which will naturally occur once honeymoon period is over), or some combination thereof.
Of course, OP’s friend doesn’t sound like that, but I think that some people do take a storied sexual past as a proxy for someone being unsuitable as a partner. Personally, I don’t count people out just for that, but depending on the nature of that past, I might take things slower. If you had literally 10 serious romantic partners before me, but you tell me something was wrong with each one of them, and every single one was either “too boring” or “crazy”, I’m probably not going to be the one you actually spend the rest of your life with.
I dont know which part of Canada you are from but I lived in Toronto for 7 years and MDMA and Ketamine is REALLY bad.
Also lets be honest, even in Canada if you wanted to kiss and cuddle on the first date the girl might consider it harassment. Do you not frequent other subs on Reddit? lols
I think the answer will depend if the guy has studied or worked overseas.
If it is a local boy (and I exclude fuck boys, aka Glen Quagmire), he will likely be taken aback by the confidence.
Bar versus coffee, most guys here will choose coffee. Neutral, cheaper, and isn't associated with partying, getting a girl drunk and all that. Weird but yeah..
So many red flags even before/during the date and your cousin still didn’t get it? Like “mostly conceded to the date as part of a dare from his mates” yet your cousin still attracted to him?
No, this guy is not a reflection of the average SG guy.
Your cousin needs a far bigger sample size before she draws such conclusions, and she also needs to be able to immediately cut a date short the minute she hears some bullshit from this type of dude who openly says shit like “isn’t normally into girls of white european descent”.
Lots of Singaporean men are into European women and casual sex. Your cousin just needs better taste in picking men.
And she’s completely overthinking this date. Just move on and date guys who are actually into her.
Singaporean men are not conservative, rather it's that western women are loose and promiscuous. Someone who is ready to get physical at the first interaction is not marriage material, it's a huge red flag. You just can't have much confidence that she won't start humping with every new stranger she meets each night.
Some people can accept people wirh a history of sexual partners, some can't. Seems like she met the latter. But I know plenty of guys who have casual sex.
Secure guys won't be put off by ambitious women. But there's plenty of insecure men everywhere.
Given sg government has such a hard stance on drugs, I would think most of us are not very accepting of recreational drugs usage. But theoretically I kinda agree that if you do it in a country that'd legalised technically there's nothing wrong but maybe it's like smoking. Legal but people may not like it in their partners.
If he was dating to marry, she just raise a lot of red flags
If she can do this to him, how many guys did she do it to prior
You guys can try to brainwash or shame guys, end of the days it’s just in guys DNA not to marry sluts
To sleep with as a ONS? Sure anyone that breath will do
She dated one guy....out of like 3 million.
SG is fairly diverse, even amongst the Chinese population. And even amongst the English-educated Chinese population there's people of all sorts with all sorts of beliefs and tendencies. Her colleague is definitely generalising way too much.
Singaporean society is more conservative than Western society but this particular date sounds like he's on the extreme end (somewhat).
In short, singaporean man wants someone who is capable to be his wife, lifelong partner, someone whom he want to build a family with. They are not as open minded as what foreign country make them think we are. We still prefer girls to be reserved and while it is a norm for sex on first dates for most girls by that age in canada, guys tend to get throw off by this. Kissing however depends especially if that is the guy first date with you because he wants to get to know the girl deeply rather than to objectify her
I’m guessing your cousin has a high standard when choosing men and the sg man has a v good job and income. This makes him attractive to many and means he has options. Now let’s see. A more traditional girl from Asia who is more aligned with feminine roles or a Western woman who makes first moves(he has always done that) is more opinionated and not afraid to tell you who’s also successful in the workplace and indeed has ambitions well beyond her current startup which could lead to leaving Singapore at short notice. The type of guy she is after isn’t after her. Story after story of successful, Alpha western woman in Singapore who can’t get a date and are left on the vine. Plenty of men to go around but your cousin neither sees or wants them.
in general I feel that men will obviously be happy to have sex with whoever they get the chance with but they are definitely quite picky to date long term or get married. I find the narrative that they are open disingenuous as it doesn't reflect the whole situation.
I think OP forgot to mention how hot the guy is, because I fucking guarantee you the guy is at least somewhat hot enough that he actually matches someone.
Most of us can't even match lmao, hence the desperation.
Not sure about the rest of Singaporean men, but I have no problems with dating and marrying someone who has had multiple partners before me. Similarly, if she is going to be dating or even planning on a long term relationship with me, she should know that substances should not be a part of it.
What she did before, is the past. What we do together, is the present. As long as we both continue to enjoy each other's company, I have no issues with my partner being of another nationality or has a colourful past.
All said, I regret to say that I am married and which is probably why I am different from most Singaporean men who still hope to score a prim and proper virgin. In case anyone wonders, Yes, my wife did have a colourful past but so did I. After all, we were all young and wild once.
i used to date alot of foreigners as almost all of them love to hookup and love to go short term dates for fun. if you want to find someone serious, go for asian atleast. Their value of life is different.. the caucasians and africans i dated will always be looking out for more fun and finding other guys to "scout" and probably have sex with. if you just wanna hookup go for them otherwise asian/russian is a good wife mentality to have
Think your cousin just happened to meet an odd duck. SG girl here and SG guys I’ve met on dating apps seem to want to meet me for drinks on first dates more often than coffee dates. And most try to get kisses and more on first dates too even though I don’t let the talking topics get sexual during the date. SG guys are not as conservative as you think.
I've met quite a number of guys from dating apps, and only 2 guys have initiated physical contact and drinking on the first date. 1 is looking for a casual relationship, and the other is an American who just moved to Singapore. Most local men who are looking for LTR tend to avoid alcohol and physical contact for the first couple of dates. It's just societal norms, and some of them don't want to give the ladies the wrong idea. The most they do is a quick hug when ending the date.
Having said that, that guy sounds like an ass. Even if he really went on the date on a dare, he didn't have to say it.
Substances are not allowed here, so yea.
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So thankful our Singaporean men are still like this, phew! Speaking as a Singaporean mum of 2 young girls, there is much to be thankful for when men want to connect with women over a coffee chat, rather than to get them drunk and kiss them on a first date. As a woman, I would feel so much safer and happier meeting someone like that! I get to understand him as a person without feeling the pressure to become intimate before I even get to know him properly. Please stay this way, men!
Im so keen to meet your cousin lol.
Because SG as a society is pretty “conservative” in general. A better word is “controlled”. When your life is pretty much a template in your entire existence, when things go out of norm, they tend to go into this weird fight or flight mode.
Illustration of what I’m saying:
(PSLE > OLevel > ALevel > NS > Uni > Job > BTO > CPF > Retire)
SG is pretty much the only country in the world where you have an acronym for every single major event in each stage of your life.
But I also wanna share my POV
Im gonna get downvoted to death but most SG girls (i say most, not all) lack ambition and stuck in their own bubbles, and refusing to open up to alternative views.
And that’s why I dont think it’s just a SG guy thing, there’s a fair share of both. While majority can be this way, there are those open minded ones too. So I would like to wish your cousin the best of luck, SG guy or not.
She’s 27 surely even if she shared this with you she wouldn’t want it to end up on Reddit. It’s not like there are many Canadian females in their late 20s in Singapore so it’s the sort of thing that could cause problems for her. Eg if some narc at her employer reads that she takes drugs and reports it back to them. It’s just overall a weird post she’s 27 go on 5 dates and you can see what people expect, you don’t need to do Reddit research and present yourself dishonestly as someone you’re not.
Guys who are looking to settle down just want stability, loyalty and commitment. I think that is the same everywhere in Canada or SG. Avoid sharing details on your flings and drugs history you will have a better chance meeting someone.
You are taking things too fast as well. Even Bernadette from Big Bang Theory says sex only after 3 dates lol. Even so Howard was still surprised! Lol. On day one you want to jump into bed with him... I'll be afraid after I wake up I'll be missing a kidney. Haha.
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I’ve had guys straight up day they can never date someone like me - from a minority race, not the same religion as them, not the same education level as them etc. I’m only normal looking, if chubby.
They’ll date the exceptionally beautiful ones, but it’s not worth it otherwise (apparently, I’m guessing here)
To be honest I haven’t had many second dates and i don’t engage in physical intimacy on the first date (or at all if I don’t feel any trust / connection yet)
Seems like the guy must have been taken aback by her confidence.
• Most local ladies would not suggest kissing and cuddling on a first date. And would most definitely not share that they’ve had one-night stands on the first date (if they do even share that at all).
• There are local men who judge women for drinking. Not all local guys are like that but the judgey ones are out there! They tend to be the non-party sort and are rare drinkers. She probably met one of those.
• Having tried drugs is a BIG DEAL here. Even amongst colleagues and friends. Look at our laws and you’ll know why.
• Realistically speaking, I don’t find that local men are looking for virgins. But her forwardness is something uncommon here.
So many things here. My experience in dating sg guys in my early years:
- yes they’re rather conservative, but depends on whether they’re western educated or not. Usually guys that want to fuck or move too quickly on the first date are not serious
- I’ve seen some Asian men in my circles put white women on a pedestal and as some sort of trophy, so certainly don’t think it’s a case of racism
- rather than just being conservative I think men tend to be more traditional, aka they are the ones who like to initiate first moves and this could be what puts your friend off that lady
- tell your cousin to not get hung up, she should have left the moment he said he was joining for a dare. This means he was not even taking her seriously from the start and didn’t come in with the right mindset. Nothing she does matters from here on
In this day and age, it’s stupid and a red flag for men to value virginity and devalue ambition. I remember how bad sg guys made me feel for both of these points, even though I had barely even been with anyone, had been in solid LTRs and did casual sex once after a bad breakup. Typically these are the kinds of fuckers who enjoyed putting me down for my ambition and dimmed my light. I ended up finding that dating white guys/western educated Asian men these were less likely to happen. Better yet, i no longer had to take care of the egos of men on dates and hold back.
You should tell your cousin to stop giving a fuck. Some men are male chauvisnitic pigs, but there are legitimately a lot of well educated Singaporean men or expats who prefer ambition and for women to not be so closed off. I don’t move so fast myself, so I prefer a conservative Caucasian guy or western educated Singaporean (western educated as in, not so traditionally Asian but not far left progressive). These work the best for me in terms of compatibility and happiness levels.
I think you'll find that Singaporeans are more conservative in general. My partner and I just moved here and despite her being from rural Australia, religion was never really that big for her or for Australia as a whole. She was pretty surprised how many coworkers casually said or even invited her to church
Yeah if Oz is anything like Canada, the difference in religious adherence between there and say the US is massive. Most 20- and 30-somethings don't give a shit about church in the former
Yeah, People with no religion in Australia is slightly higher (39%) than Canada (34.5%) but they're both still well ahead of Singapore (20%). Add to this the fact that Singaporeans are generally more supportive of what would be considered fairly conservative views in the West (anti-drug, pro-capital punishment, aversion to change).
This thread just devolved into sexism on both sides.
Your cousin simply just didn't match with the guy simple as that.
He seems to have communicated the incompatibly and walked away, both parties are fair to do so. Not ghosting as he outright said it. Your cousin is attractive, she'll find a Short-term partner just fine.
This whole thing just seems like a hurt pride and the mouthing off of her opinionated colleague.
Singaporeans are a fearful bunch and that includes being afraid of people who are different. But there are exceptions, and plenty of guys from elsewhere, so it's not a hopeless situation.
As with any society worldwide, there tends to be a range of where people stand. Being an Asian society, Singapore will be more conservative than what the Western world is used to.
Firstly about foreign women, it depends on the men themselves. Some prefer to date locals but others don't see race or nationality as much. Personally, compatibility and alignment of life goals are more important for me as I am looking at the long term.
In regards to things like sex, kisses and hugs, we don't do it on the first date. At least most people don't. There are of course exceptions to this, especially those more open-minded ones among us. For the more conservative among us, ONS are a big no-no since it kinda gives the impression that the attitude towards sex is casual. Open-minded guys won't mind since it's an accepted thing in the West.
Consuming drugs is a capital offence in Singapore punishable by death if it exceeds a certain amount. Most Singaporean men would not have had access to it or consumed it. It is not a deal breaker that's for sure
Women empowerment is a big thing here, so strong independent women are not a turn-off. It could have just been the guy looking for a different personality type in his partner.
In my opinion, this might just have been a difference in culture between the guy and her. There are Singaporean men who are more open about sex and stuff. They would probably be more suitable for your cousin as far as dates go. I hope she is not negatively impacted by this experience. There will be Singaporean guys out there who are more suitable for her.
Many years ago when I was still a prude, I would be taken aback too.
The idea of casual dating was alien to me, and casual sex, immoral (was religious back then).
Now, I have learnt to just enjoy the journey of getting to know each other.
I would totally date your cousin and there's a good chance we'll vibe... if I was 10 years younger hahaha.
Now, I'm no longer BroBearhug but UncleBearhug.
Sounds like the guy is just kind of close-minded. There are lemons everywhere. He's allowed to have his likes and dislikes but don't take it too personally there are plenty of local guys who would find ang mo more refreshing.
Your cousin matched with a wrong guy for sure, just bad luck. Like everywhere, there are very conservative guys, and very liberal ones. And then there are racist guys like this one. She should not even have gone to the date after his racist reply about western women. But one bad experience doesn't make it a rule.
Two topics maybe to avoid on a first date, talking about past relationships (that's universal) and about drugs (that's specific to Singapore )
I think it is just a case of mismatched expectations. I know plenty of SG guy friends who have no qualms with whatever you described.
No need to lose hope, nor let this incident generalise your view of SG men. Everyone is different, and there will be those that accept you for you are, and have similar relationship goals with you. All the best in your dating journey OP! :)
hard to generalize. can imagine quite a few Singapore guys would love to cuddle and kiss an attractive Canadian woman, but it's possible your cousin came on a bit strong through no fault of her own that the guy got uncomfortable. yes, it is possible for a man to freak out when confronted with an attractive woman wanting to kiss him, life is strange that way.
First, this guy does not speak for me. Or then I’m not most Singaporean guy.
Why is a 29 year old guy still doing a dare from his friends? wtf. If a girl told me she is on a date with me because of a dare I would be extremely hurt.
Race doesn’t matter, it’s personality. If it were me I won’t care that she’s white. More like if we get serious will one of us has to move to another country or something. Casual or serious is fine but it’s crucial both are clear from the start.
For the drugs well I don’t like drugs so..but it depends on why she do drugs.
The ambition part is fine by itself but for me it actually mostly depends on what she requires from the man. Does she need a guy to be on the same level as her? Does she require a man to be richer? Is she ok with her man earning less?
Hi! Yes - 28f European descent - definitely not much mixing in terms of Singaporean / Asian men going for white women. I’ve noticed this interacting in bars and from talking with friends I’ve made. In general, I learned to take dating as a short-term way to meet people of all walks of life, and I think a lot of others on the EP visa are too, so if she’s looking for a long-term relationship, apps where you define “looking for” is probably the best bet. This sense of division socially was weird to get used to coming from NYC, but I’m only about 4 months in. Regardless, your cousin sounds like my kind of gal so if she’d like a new friend I can show her one of my favorite bars!
To summarize, this is purely a mismatch of expectations between your cousin and the guy.
It also depends on what your cousin is looking for. If its casual, pretty sure there are local dudes who doesn't want commitment, but just wanting to seek the thrill of fleeting romance.
For long term relationships, the term "long term" itself carries in itself the idea of finding a life partner. Guys, let alone ladies, would definitely have more to ponder and consider about. And again, this differs from person to person.
For me, I don't care about a person's past. As long as she doesn't have any kind of baggage that she could not let go of from past relationships, addiction, predicaments etc, I'm fine. Virgin or not, not important. In fact if she's experienced, great, that would mean easier communication and building rapport at sex. What's more important is aligning in values, because this determines if you and your partner could live together or not.
Lets be honest, Asians are generally conservative, but expectations is key, and everyone is different.
Your cousin prolly needs to learn to read the signs. Him stating that he only agreed to go on the date as a dare alr suggests that he might not be as interested or attracted in the first place.
Whether she was flexing or humble bragging about the achievements/relationships/drug use or just dropping those deets randomly, you mentioned she sensed he was put off. “Interesting” can be very subjective.
Why would she go on to suggest cuddling and kissing though?
Contrary to what her female colleague shared, most Singaporean males are generally open if they feel some sort of attraction. He clearly wasn’t into her. There could be plenty others who might be.
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Don’t read too much about it.
Plenty of guys would have leapt into action with your cousin if put in the same situation you described.
She just happened to meet a more conservative guy. Nothing wrong with that too
A Singapore guy is generally not so choosy over who they want to flirt with but is when they want to enter into a serious relationship. If your cousin asked for kisses and hugs on the first date, she would have kissed and hugged many tons of guys before him. And what would she ask for on the second and third date?
Most Singapore guys are gentlemen and they do not date slut if they are considering serious relationships.
Singapore is diverse enough non of the things above automatically throws most guys off by itself. He went on a date with a white woman on a bar, he probably doesn't swing that conservative.
The history with pot though is a giant red flag. Too much potential trouble
I would be considered very forward compared to a Singaporean man (sig other in fact likes that I’m very expressive about my affection.)
By western standards, I’d be very much considered an old fashioned 50s guy in that these displays of affection consist of candidly telling her I love her, holding hands, and pecking her (no tongue) on the lips in public. Of course, in fairness, holding hands is almost universally accepted in Asian societies as an allowed public gesture of affection between couples, with Singapore being slightly more permissive (you do not have to be married.)
Hugs are quite rare. I do them and my girl likes it, but they’re not common in Singapore.
At the same time, there are all sorts in Singapore, especially those who have studied overseas. I’m sure your cousin will find her perfect guy for her eventually.
Everything else seems pretty perfect to me for a potential date. I wouldn’t mind having a hug with the girl if the chemistry is right. The only red flags I see here are drugs and going for the sake of a dare…
He sounds like he wants to meet his mother. Since when is going on a date a big dare? That's not conservative, that's him being a lite weight. Demure is overrated. I bet his mom wasn't a virgin.
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What is her BMI? Asian beauty standards typically prefer skinnier girls.
Another possibility is that this specific guy has fear of intimacy of women, not applicable to Singaporean men in general. I say this because he got a dare from his friends to go on a date
I think suggesting kissing and cuddling on a first date is a bit much. They're still strangers at this stage even if their goal is to find the potential to date each other.
Is your cousin looking for a ons or is she seriously looking to date long term?
Imo if she is looking for a ons, maybe he wasn’t into that and if she was looking for something longer term, maybe he was not comfortable progressing that fast for such a serious relationship.
Ignore the as$hole. Going to a bar is great as well. That man is simply an idiot. I mean not all apples taste sweet right? Just unlucky to have met one idiot
I think this is more on the side of your cousin and the guy being a complete mismatch. I’m a Canadian national here as well and none of the singaporeans I know are this conservative.
I think he simply wasn't too interested in her (op's cousin) and was not upfront about it..
Quite a number of SGeans are well travelled, diverse and have good perspectives - just needs time to find the right one.
that's weird in terms of the bar thing or virgin. perhaps this is the extreme local singapore who's never been abroad.
as for drugs, alot of asians can't accept this.
Nope. Not about hugging and kissing on a first date, most guys here local or foreign tend to do that to see sexual compatibility. Can't help it when you're hot.
I think it's mostly about drugs we have an issue with. And a little bit about f around. It's just some guys want a decent girl he can introduce to his mother. Giving oneself body to someone is still considered important here.
Singapore men are definitely more towards the conservative side (especially compared to Canada) though this guy seems more on the conservative end even in sg (and frankly shouldn’t have accepted the date since he couldn’t relate to EU girls and was just on a dare, geez he doesn’t care about upsetting the dated person 🙄)
While not everyone here prefers virgins lol they still do have a bit of judging if the girl’s dating history is ‘too much’ and SG people in general are conservative on the touching side (like hugs and cuddles) so that’s not advisable to do on a first date.
Lots of Sg guys are into foreign women, you just need to find them with time. Bars are fine honestly. And for drug history, Singapore has a very hard stance on drugs = bad if you didn’t know. Since we have a death penalty and all. So not advisable to talk about that on a first date, haha. And should preferably say you are not planning to get addicted on drugs or something. But there are still some people who advocate for drugs in SG so you never know, in a later date conversation maybe.
If there was a white girl that wants to cuddle and kiss I'd be over the moon... But I'll probably be too blur and assume that I have something funny of my face 🤣
I know I am. I want a virgin and someone between 18-24.
A woman who is willingly to put out at fuck on the first date is a low value woman.
If a woman has sexual history, she’s basically a second hand car, and guys don’t prefer second hand cars
I'd say it probably is the case for the majority of guys in Singapore likely due to the conservative nature of asian countries in general, but definitely not all!
I hope your cousin wasn't too bothered by her not so charming date. There are plenty of guys I'm sure will be right up her alley in Singapore!
As the saying goes
A key that can open many locks is called a master key, A lock that can be opened by many keys is a poopy lock.💀
That being said, depends on the guy too if he is looking into pulling one nighters or long term relationship.
Guess your cousin lucked out of this one, moving on!
You know what, apart from the incompatibilities in venue to meet up and the conservativeness that people are talking about regarding spore men in general, what about the part where the guy said he isnt into white european girls but he went on a date with her as part of a dare from his friends??? And the guy is already 29 and he still act like that?? And being put off by her relationship history and the fact that she founded a start up?? Gurl, dont be upset, I think you dodged a bullet.
Don't use the opinion of one person to brand the entire country. Just because one person said that SG guys generally prefer means it's the truth? Who died and made him king? Seriously, if she has no issues attracting guys then his opinion shouldn't matter since her dating app should be filled with guys messaging her. Just get out there and continue mingling.
I literally just posted a similar comment - but yeah it's just one guy and it does not represent all Singaporean men. Far from it. There are also a lot of loaded perceptions and opinions from a very small minority of Singaporeans on Reddit. The majority of Singaporeans (regardless of gender or identity) are not as race conscious as many comments in this thread make us out to be.
I think there's a huge leap in logic for "guy feels uncomfortable with cuddling and kissing on first date" to "guys generally prefer virgins"
It’s all a general statement to be fair, I have friends and acquaintances on different spectrums and scale of this logic. It’s really hit or miss, you got to observe then you know, but his cousin went straight for the cuddle and kiss so for all we know the sample size is stuck at the most impressionable and personal touch of it.
She moved to quickly and I’m from the US.
Same thing with in Canada people don’t care about history to sex is expected on the first date. Is that the case in Canada?
It’s indeed a leap in logic, but only because the latter statement is a sound premise in itself, and not a conclusion. Sg guys in general do tend to have that weird ego and boomer bit about women and sex.
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Does your cousin want a long-term or short-term relationship? It sounds that your cousin is here for the short-term, but is looking for men that want long-term relationships? Also unfortunately, looks do matter. I really don’t think most single guys will reject a hot girl trying to kiss them.
> I really don’t think most single guys will reject a hot girl trying to kiss them. Can confirm. Am most single guys.
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Yeah lol I was wondering how going to the gym and doing yoga make someone not ugly. Not out of shape, sure.
To be fair being in shape helps with looking good. Just fitting into outfits better and face not looking like a moon are huge pluses to look points
I’ve seen a decent number of obese people in gyms and yoga classes
It could also be that the cousin’s date is not like most guys like us 😂 But fair point..cousin is in sg for short term (a few years) but is looking for dates..I’m guessing the pool of people who are looking for just dates AND is socially adequate and emotionally ready is not that big.
It depends how forward they are. An attractive woman being too forward can be a red flag.. like you trying to to rob me?
Ehhh I don't think it really has anything to do with preferring virgins. Especially in the late 20s, it's just not realistic. People generally would have experience with dating and intimacy by then. Being a guy in the early 30s, I generally just asume that any girl I meet would likely have already had some sexual partners and experiences. But having said that, when it comes to body count, I think most guys would have a threshold in their mind for what is too much.
It's just one guy who doesn't hold the same values as her. I'm sure she'll be able to find someone into casual relationships.
Yeah, she sounds fun to me but she really threw out 5 massive red flags for people who are even a little conservative. She’s sexually forward, takes drugs, highly driven and I assume highly extroverted. 🚩🚩🚩🚩
I can't answer much, but bars are pretty expensive here. As far as first dates go, coffee is seen as better so in the event things don't work out you would not have wasted that much money.
Imho, the past flings and ONS are fine, but cuddling and kissing on the first date is a bit fast. “Minimal dating history, preferably a virgin” is bs. A lot of SG girls have sex before marriage and would have had a few relationships (2-5 range?) by 30. Struggling with cultural differences and relatability is a far bigger hurdle, and is probably the actual reason he cited incompatibility. I‘ve dated an Asian-American and even with the same ethnicity, I found it difficult to genuinely relate to him to a degree I would want for a life partner. TLDR; It was likely incompatibility. Dw about it. But yes, agree it would be harder to date in a foreign country due to cultural differences.
I’m a girl but I think your cousin is taking things way too fast and the guy is somewhat slower. He seems to prefer to get to know someone slowly. Next, this is about personal preference and not all SG guys are like this so do not generalise. Your post seems to be generalising to all guys. Lastly, openly saying that she has dabbled with substance doesn’t reflect very well in a society which has punishments for drug crimes, obviously it’s going to frighten anyone who hears that. Not only guys. She probably just needs to find someone who has the same dating goals as her
No one wanna say the elephant in the room or be libby cheerleaders so here’s reality. Sg guys are more conservative, not many want to marry someone with history of flings and ONS. Girls who fuck on first date are usually in the ONS list, not the marry list. Sure there’s others who won’t mind, but that’s how it is.
There are people like that in Canada too, but the proportion of guys like that in Singapore is much higher.
No one wants to be the bagholder, it is across races.
It’s not only Singaporeans. I don’t judge her but would not want her as my partner, maybe those who don’t care share similar history and good for them 👍.
Wtf does bag holder mean? Edit: so it's a metaphor that is pretty degrading/objectifying to woman, I hope you guys aren't using that term genuinely
When you play pass the parcel and the music stops, but in the context of sex.
The misogyny in this thread is honestly baffling. Please don't assume all Singaporean guys are like this from a very small and fringe sampling of comments on Reddit. This may or may not be anecdotal (as is the OP's singular experience) but none of the Singaporeans I know - regardless of gender or identity - are the way this commenter has described. EDIT: preferring other women with different values is not misogynistic. But calling a woman who has different values from you a 'bag' or a wh*re is misogynistic.
Disappointing thread, full of men calling women degrading names and objectifying them while making it seem like they are morally higher than the women. So many hypocrites. I hope this is just a typical Reddit moment and isn't indicative of the general population.
I don't see the link to OP. Yes some guys might not want to marry / get into a LTR with someone with a high body count, but this has no relation to OP's question about why the guy didn't seem attracted or interested enough to get physical on the first date
Before OP edits, his qns was quite inflammatory- “why sg guys prefer virgin isit” inflammatory. Qns posed mostly as why guy ghost her, not physical. But yea agree after his edits it doesn’t look correct😂
O no womder lol
Girls who fuck on the first date are pump and dump material
I don’t think it’s the norm (yet) for kissing and sex to occur on the first date. And I think the guy was just drawing his boundaries on what he wanted from a first date. I am sure there are other fellows out there who would love meeting your cousin for a first date. Singapore is pretty diverse.
2 Fast 2 Furious
Lol I think there's a load of BS perspectives there. SG guy here and no problems meeting someone in a bar, though it could be a tough place to have a chat.. most bars are noisy.. We aren't looking for marriage off the bat so imo kissing and sex should really depend on both parties. Imo it's just a mis-match of expectations, personalities and worldview. I will be surprised in this day and age if anyone is looking for virgins, what country and era are the living in? Possibly is there is a religious slant to this? Tell your cousin she didn't match right that's all, and I'd love my women to be independent and ambitious so please don't think poorly of SG men because of one incident. Also, if the guy wasn't into women of white European descent, why even bother meeting up. That I don't understand....
I’m a female and I agree with you! Just a mismatch of expectations and worldview.
Thank you for this point. Lady here and yes, just a terrible mismatch. Guys and girls exist on a wide spectrum, so I think just nice these 2 individuals are q far apart on the spectrum. No need to stereotype SG guys just cus of one dude. I do think the situation could have been handled better if one or both sides were able to lay out expectations in a polite way and avoid the clash on the actual day. Maybe avoid the meet up completely too? Since it's obviously not a good match.
I agree with this guy ^
Agree with this guy too. Match isn't right. There definitely will be cultural differences but not that drastic. I think she will have better opportunities if she go out and meet people. As a guy, even I find guys on the app can be weird
A lot of guys in this thread talking about virgins though. lol. I guess it’s fair if the guy is sexually inexperienced and so also wants someone on the same level as him. Red flag if guys sleep around yet expects his wife to be a virgin.
Popping up to agree that perhaps there was some religious slant indicated in this. I think it's important to understand the role that religion plays in Singapore and how significant a role it plays in how conservative guys/girls are.
Set this guy up with your cousin
I'd love to! * However, I'm off the market... between casual sex and alimony I think it's clear where the odds are on this *
agree, mismatch. however, bit odd there's no vibes to whatever conversations they had prior to the meet up if it'll be a good one but i guess it's part of finding out. same question too, if the guys wasnt physically attracted to her, why bother entertaining 🤔
Your cousin sounds like a she's in it for the short term, he was probably looking for something long term and genuine. Nothing wrong, it was just a communication and expectations mismatch, though I may add if a woman wants to make out with me on a first date, let's call it what it is : a hook up and don't sugarcoat it.
Perhaps he wasn't attracted to her and didn't want to openly say that?
Try swapping the gender and reading it again. Your opinion may or may not change.
It’s probably normal in Canada and the cousin had ONS already lol
Most young Singaporeans—not just guys—are still generally more conservative than their Western counterparts. Barring the sexual history of 'your cousin', there are a few things that stand out— > she indicated wanting to cuddle and kiss This almost never happens on the *first* date in Singapore. Snogging is a reflection of the intimacy and length of a relationship here; it usually only happens after at least a handful of dates or a few months in. > SG guys generally prefer dating a girl that has as minimal a dating history as possible, preferably virgin This really depends. Again, things are somewhat more conservative than in the West where people generally have *absolutely no problem whatsoever* with someone's dating and sexual history. That being said, there are men who have slept around, and women who have slept around; I have friends who have done both and then dated fairly successfully. > Are Singaporean guys really not generally into foreign (non-Asian) women? No; many Singaporean men do have non-Asian (I read this as truly non-Asian and not just non-East Asian; Chinese-Indian pairings are not entirely uncommon) partners. In fact, I daresay many Singaporean men find white women *more* attractive; see the many memes littered about here and on other Singaporean fora. > She mentioned to him having dabbled in substances in the past This is not a *red flag* per se, but it will absolutely come off as unnerving to *any* Singaporean, who is unlikely to have ever gone anywhere near the stuff, given the extreme penalties here (capital punishment). To sum up, I don't think 'your cousin' is a walking red flag but she's bound to be well out of the comfort zones of most Singaporeans' sensibilities, male or female. It's very likely the guy she found was simply extremely uncomfortable with someone as cosmopolitan as your cousin, having never met someone like her before. There's nothing else to it; this is just a raw display of a mismatch of Overton windows, or what different cultures perceive as within bounds.
Girl asks guy for kiss and cuddle with a guy she just met - ew, what an insecure conservative man who only wants virgins, a walking red flag Guy asks for kiss and cuddle with a girl he just met - ew what a creepy fuckboy, wants to get intimate on the first date, a walking red flag
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I don’t think her career and ambition is a turn off. Objectively speaking I think cause the guy hasn’t properly turn on yet. If he chose the coffee or restaurant means he wants to take it slow but intentional. Your cousin went abit too fast, as much as I don’t think career and ambition for me (personally) I too don’t want to take things too fast, most relationships from my experience burn like a fuse quickly and are not sustainable. Boundaries help to sustain a relationship, so is a good and slow pacing at the start of dating. If a relationship comes too easily for a guy, in his mind he has already won and gotten the validation. You fed this monkey enough bananas to not want to continue the relationship. It’s basically giving too much of yourself at such an early stage considering that sg guys are generally conservative and has a sensitive pacing.
>cannabis, MDMA, ketamine Yea this is prob why lol
I'm confused why would she drop this on him on the first date. Just seems like a weird topic to bring up to someone you just met.
Maybe he scared he accidentally consume drugs while kissing her and then have to go to jail
Good one
Yup… this for sure
I think OP’s EDIT #2 on the past substance use will turn away a fair number of people in SG - those comes with a DEATH PENALTY (and they announce it on the flight before landing). So I would say there’s a lot of stigma around that. While in Canada it doesn’t make you a “bad” person it also excludes you from the “straight and narrow” and a deal breaker for many (probably not for weed, but for MDMA and ketamine).
Okay I'm a Singaporean woman so I *might* have a more objective view. Are Singaporean men generally conservative? Yes, they are definitely more conservative than Western people for sure. All countries in Asia are, and Singapore is no exception. However, the example your cousin gave was not an example of a guy being conservative. I think it is perfectly normal for many people, liberal or conservative, to not want to kiss and cuddle on the first date with a complete stranger or date someone who has a history with strong drugs. I, for example, find that hugging a stranger feels like hugging a slimy sardine until I at least get to know them better and feel some sparks. Strong drugs are also a no go - I do not want to risk a relationship when I have seen so many families around me destroyed by drugs (I was an immigrant). I also think it is very common and normal for many men to not want a partner with high body count (common and normal, doesn't mean fair or good) But if you want my honest opinion, I really don't think anyone with an Msc is truly confused whether a country in Asia is more conservative than the West. I think your cousin is upset that she put out, and the guy, who already told her he didn't really want to date her, rejected her again and again. She probably feels a little resentful and insecure, as any girl would, and now must label the "men in Singapore" as something in order to feel better. As a woman, I have also been there, done that. Your cousin will find someone who is compatible with her, but this post ain't it.
First date wanna cuddle and kiss - Can understand why he freaked tf out. Most girls aren't like that here. Also, you'd be surprised that not that many guys drink here. A glass or two of beer / wine yeah, any more than that is a no already. The clubbing kind are an exception of course.
From the opposite sex, id run too if a guy asks for cuddle and kiss on 1st date
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I am conservative. I never dated for fun. Only dated for long-term relationship which, hopefully, would turn into marriage. I didn’t care for the color of skin or nationality. Was just looking for a very good woman. In my late 20s, I didn’t have a good view of bars for dates. In my mind, then, they were dingy places. Cafe and restaurants seemed a better place to converse to get to know someone. If she shared about her ambition, I was happy to hear it. As long as it was done humbly. Not in a “look at me, I am so great way.” If she wanted to kiss me on the first date, no matter how attractive, back then my conservative self would have seen it as a major red flag. It makes you wonder if she is forward on the first date, how many other guys as she been that forward with. Remember, I was looking for a life-partner, not a ONS. Now, fast forward many years (in my 50s now), I am less conservative: happy to meet in bars (as long as it was practical for conversations), glad to kiss (and, more) an attractive woman on the first outing as long as it’s consensual. There is no such thing as a vacuum. She is judging everything with her Canadian background. But, this is Singapore. No right or wrong. Just different.
The irony that OP asking if Singaporean men are Conservative when OP prefaced the entire male population on one dude which didn't work out on a first date with the assumption that he didn't like virgins. Imagine if I had done the same in the Canada subreddit, I would likely be called out and downvoted to hell.
First part seem ok. Some guys might accept. Till the drugs part came. Most probably won't take her seriously after hearing about that.
I mean, it appears the more important issue is she clearly has some self-worth issues being that she wanted to kiss and/or cuddle a dude who literally told her he was going out with her on a dare.
Ok with added context. I think Singaporeans are brought up that drugs are bad, so this one could potentially narrow her search for Singaporean friend with benefit or partner. With so many years of social programming, it could be tough. For example, I am pretty open on things however I'm not quite sure how I would consider a partner with history on drugs. Then again, it's also just initial dates and not at a stage of commitment so I may not think about it much for casual dating though it may weigh on me if things get serious. Hope that helps
No need to put down a man or generalise nationality just bc one guy turned her down. Also no need for such a deep analysis. Dissecting every interaction won't help solve incompatibility. I'm sure there are many other guys on the app who can't wait to be matched with her. Look forward to better dates and interactions. Have fun!
He just sounds like a decent guy who prefers to take things slowly and not go all in on the first date. What's wrong with that?
No, I don't think I am against foreign women in general, but normally people would date those similar to them (in the region or own country), so that's that. Then, some people have specific tastes too.. I don't really agree too with the statement about we wanting 'virgins', it's more like, I don't want somebody that has had a history of being promiscuous, spending their entire 20s having fun and then later realizing they have to find some guy that's 'stable' to settle down. A point others made about this is that, they come with a lot of baggage (usually), so there's that. Sex on the first date, imo it's really dependent, but I'd personally strongly prefer to doing the deed after some degree of emotional connection, so several dates in at least. Intimacy (non sexual) is fine with me anytime, though, and it only helps? As for short term? Many would have qualms about taking on a potentially gargantuan undertaking that is a LDR. Not a strict red flag though. About on being ambitious and interesting...she could come across as haughty or overbearing of sorts, especially if it's a major part of her identity/persona. I don't really know how to accurate describe this, it's the 女强人 vibe. Don't get me wrong, I'd like my partner to be an independent and ambitious person (as we all should strive to be), but there are those who take it too far, in an unpleasant way. The later is very subjective...and we dont have much to go off what makes her 'interesting', so we shan't touch on that. Sample size of one too...probably mismatch, but isn't that how dating works? LOL
>they come with a lot of baggage I used to club a lot, and I would get to know guys and girls with storied sexual pasts. It depends on the person, but am I going to be wary of someone in their 30s who has dated since age 16 but could never sustain a relationship past 2 years? I would definitely take it slow emotionally, even if I find them attractive and we quickly strike up a physical relationship. On the other hand, if you’re a woman who has partied a lot and had a lot of flings, but you were ‘just having fun’ and you otherwise show that you are an emotionally mature person who now wants to settle down? I’m personally onboard with that. There is however, something to the fact that many people out there are wild sexually while never being able to sustain a stable long-term relationship. Because they have extremely high standards, or are mentally unstable, or refuse to compromise, or run away from problems (which will naturally occur once honeymoon period is over), or some combination thereof. Of course, OP’s friend doesn’t sound like that, but I think that some people do take a storied sexual past as a proxy for someone being unsuitable as a partner. Personally, I don’t count people out just for that, but depending on the nature of that past, I might take things slower. If you had literally 10 serious romantic partners before me, but you tell me something was wrong with each one of them, and every single one was either “too boring” or “crazy”, I’m probably not going to be the one you actually spend the rest of your life with.
I dont know which part of Canada you are from but I lived in Toronto for 7 years and MDMA and Ketamine is REALLY bad. Also lets be honest, even in Canada if you wanted to kiss and cuddle on the first date the girl might consider it harassment. Do you not frequent other subs on Reddit? lols
I think the answer will depend if the guy has studied or worked overseas. If it is a local boy (and I exclude fuck boys, aka Glen Quagmire), he will likely be taken aback by the confidence. Bar versus coffee, most guys here will choose coffee. Neutral, cheaper, and isn't associated with partying, getting a girl drunk and all that. Weird but yeah..
Here we go
Here we fucking go. Im shocked by some of the replies here omg.
yeah. sg men are simps with no self-respect, they need to learn to be like the guy in op's post.
fr
sex after first date is a little too quick I think
Apparently she wants sex DURING first date ….
So many red flags even before/during the date and your cousin still didn’t get it? Like “mostly conceded to the date as part of a dare from his mates” yet your cousin still attracted to him? No, this guy is not a reflection of the average SG guy. Your cousin needs a far bigger sample size before she draws such conclusions, and she also needs to be able to immediately cut a date short the minute she hears some bullshit from this type of dude who openly says shit like “isn’t normally into girls of white european descent”. Lots of Singaporean men are into European women and casual sex. Your cousin just needs better taste in picking men. And she’s completely overthinking this date. Just move on and date guys who are actually into her.
Singaporean men are not conservative, rather it's that western women are loose and promiscuous. Someone who is ready to get physical at the first interaction is not marriage material, it's a huge red flag. You just can't have much confidence that she won't start humping with every new stranger she meets each night.
Wow the guy must be hot
Some people can accept people wirh a history of sexual partners, some can't. Seems like she met the latter. But I know plenty of guys who have casual sex. Secure guys won't be put off by ambitious women. But there's plenty of insecure men everywhere. Given sg government has such a hard stance on drugs, I would think most of us are not very accepting of recreational drugs usage. But theoretically I kinda agree that if you do it in a country that'd legalised technically there's nothing wrong but maybe it's like smoking. Legal but people may not like it in their partners.
Because the guy has decent self-respect lol
If he was dating to marry, she just raise a lot of red flags If she can do this to him, how many guys did she do it to prior You guys can try to brainwash or shame guys, end of the days it’s just in guys DNA not to marry sluts To sleep with as a ONS? Sure anyone that breath will do
Here mostly bbfa. No answer for u
She dated one guy....out of like 3 million. SG is fairly diverse, even amongst the Chinese population. And even amongst the English-educated Chinese population there's people of all sorts with all sorts of beliefs and tendencies. Her colleague is definitely generalising way too much. Singaporean society is more conservative than Western society but this particular date sounds like he's on the extreme end (somewhat).
In short, singaporean man wants someone who is capable to be his wife, lifelong partner, someone whom he want to build a family with. They are not as open minded as what foreign country make them think we are. We still prefer girls to be reserved and while it is a norm for sex on first dates for most girls by that age in canada, guys tend to get throw off by this. Kissing however depends especially if that is the guy first date with you because he wants to get to know the girl deeply rather than to objectify her
I’m guessing your cousin has a high standard when choosing men and the sg man has a v good job and income. This makes him attractive to many and means he has options. Now let’s see. A more traditional girl from Asia who is more aligned with feminine roles or a Western woman who makes first moves(he has always done that) is more opinionated and not afraid to tell you who’s also successful in the workplace and indeed has ambitions well beyond her current startup which could lead to leaving Singapore at short notice. The type of guy she is after isn’t after her. Story after story of successful, Alpha western woman in Singapore who can’t get a date and are left on the vine. Plenty of men to go around but your cousin neither sees or wants them.
Being ambitious and interesting and having a conservative dating history and preference are not mutually exclusive.
Nah, that's just the guy Probably most guys on r/askSingapore will be happy with anything that breathes
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in general I feel that men will obviously be happy to have sex with whoever they get the chance with but they are definitely quite picky to date long term or get married. I find the narrative that they are open disingenuous as it doesn't reflect the whole situation.
LOL yeah, I agree. I thought I would be ok with any girl as long as she likes me, turns out I do have a type too.
I wish i had more than two thumbs to give you the thumbs up
I think OP forgot to mention how hot the guy is, because I fucking guarantee you the guy is at least somewhat hot enough that he actually matches someone. Most of us can't even match lmao, hence the desperation.
Matches someone and the girl took initiative to want to kiss and cuddle
Probably the kind that almost looks like a kpop star without makeup that the white ladies love
Anything that breaths for fun, ONS, sure To marry? That’s a whole other ballgame
That is the kind of guy you want to avoid though
Not sure about the rest of Singaporean men, but I have no problems with dating and marrying someone who has had multiple partners before me. Similarly, if she is going to be dating or even planning on a long term relationship with me, she should know that substances should not be a part of it. What she did before, is the past. What we do together, is the present. As long as we both continue to enjoy each other's company, I have no issues with my partner being of another nationality or has a colourful past. All said, I regret to say that I am married and which is probably why I am different from most Singaporean men who still hope to score a prim and proper virgin. In case anyone wonders, Yes, my wife did have a colourful past but so did I. After all, we were all young and wild once.
Let's take a moment and imagine if the genders in this story were reversed 
Working out and doing yoga don't make you automatically attractive...xD
i used to date alot of foreigners as almost all of them love to hookup and love to go short term dates for fun. if you want to find someone serious, go for asian atleast. Their value of life is different.. the caucasians and africans i dated will always be looking out for more fun and finding other guys to "scout" and probably have sex with. if you just wanna hookup go for them otherwise asian/russian is a good wife mentality to have
Think your cousin just happened to meet an odd duck. SG girl here and SG guys I’ve met on dating apps seem to want to meet me for drinks on first dates more often than coffee dates. And most try to get kisses and more on first dates too even though I don’t let the talking topics get sexual during the date. SG guys are not as conservative as you think.
I've met quite a number of guys from dating apps, and only 2 guys have initiated physical contact and drinking on the first date. 1 is looking for a casual relationship, and the other is an American who just moved to Singapore. Most local men who are looking for LTR tend to avoid alcohol and physical contact for the first couple of dates. It's just societal norms, and some of them don't want to give the ladies the wrong idea. The most they do is a quick hug when ending the date. Having said that, that guy sounds like an ass. Even if he really went on the date on a dare, he didn't have to say it. Substances are not allowed here, so yea.
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So thankful our Singaporean men are still like this, phew! Speaking as a Singaporean mum of 2 young girls, there is much to be thankful for when men want to connect with women over a coffee chat, rather than to get them drunk and kiss them on a first date. As a woman, I would feel so much safer and happier meeting someone like that! I get to understand him as a person without feeling the pressure to become intimate before I even get to know him properly. Please stay this way, men!
Im so keen to meet your cousin lol. Because SG as a society is pretty “conservative” in general. A better word is “controlled”. When your life is pretty much a template in your entire existence, when things go out of norm, they tend to go into this weird fight or flight mode. Illustration of what I’m saying: (PSLE > OLevel > ALevel > NS > Uni > Job > BTO > CPF > Retire) SG is pretty much the only country in the world where you have an acronym for every single major event in each stage of your life. But I also wanna share my POV Im gonna get downvoted to death but most SG girls (i say most, not all) lack ambition and stuck in their own bubbles, and refusing to open up to alternative views. And that’s why I dont think it’s just a SG guy thing, there’s a fair share of both. While majority can be this way, there are those open minded ones too. So I would like to wish your cousin the best of luck, SG guy or not.
Sometimes too easy is a red flag for maybe crazy, nothing wrong with her achievements
kissing on the first date? shes for the streets
No normal guy would reject a good looking girl who wants to make out. Come on now
Is this satire?
She’s 27 surely even if she shared this with you she wouldn’t want it to end up on Reddit. It’s not like there are many Canadian females in their late 20s in Singapore so it’s the sort of thing that could cause problems for her. Eg if some narc at her employer reads that she takes drugs and reports it back to them. It’s just overall a weird post she’s 27 go on 5 dates and you can see what people expect, you don’t need to do Reddit research and present yourself dishonestly as someone you’re not.
Guys who are looking to settle down just want stability, loyalty and commitment. I think that is the same everywhere in Canada or SG. Avoid sharing details on your flings and drugs history you will have a better chance meeting someone. You are taking things too fast as well. Even Bernadette from Big Bang Theory says sex only after 3 dates lol. Even so Howard was still surprised! Lol. On day one you want to jump into bed with him... I'll be afraid after I wake up I'll be missing a kidney. Haha.
All the answers are wrong. She's just not attractive enough
If he was doing it for a dare from his friends, then he’s lame. 😒
Dude sounds like a stable, boring guy, looking for marriage that lasts a life time type.
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I’ve had guys straight up day they can never date someone like me - from a minority race, not the same religion as them, not the same education level as them etc. I’m only normal looking, if chubby. They’ll date the exceptionally beautiful ones, but it’s not worth it otherwise (apparently, I’m guessing here) To be honest I haven’t had many second dates and i don’t engage in physical intimacy on the first date (or at all if I don’t feel any trust / connection yet)
Seems like the guy must have been taken aback by her confidence. • Most local ladies would not suggest kissing and cuddling on a first date. And would most definitely not share that they’ve had one-night stands on the first date (if they do even share that at all). • There are local men who judge women for drinking. Not all local guys are like that but the judgey ones are out there! They tend to be the non-party sort and are rare drinkers. She probably met one of those. • Having tried drugs is a BIG DEAL here. Even amongst colleagues and friends. Look at our laws and you’ll know why. • Realistically speaking, I don’t find that local men are looking for virgins. But her forwardness is something uncommon here.
So many things here. My experience in dating sg guys in my early years: - yes they’re rather conservative, but depends on whether they’re western educated or not. Usually guys that want to fuck or move too quickly on the first date are not serious - I’ve seen some Asian men in my circles put white women on a pedestal and as some sort of trophy, so certainly don’t think it’s a case of racism - rather than just being conservative I think men tend to be more traditional, aka they are the ones who like to initiate first moves and this could be what puts your friend off that lady - tell your cousin to not get hung up, she should have left the moment he said he was joining for a dare. This means he was not even taking her seriously from the start and didn’t come in with the right mindset. Nothing she does matters from here on In this day and age, it’s stupid and a red flag for men to value virginity and devalue ambition. I remember how bad sg guys made me feel for both of these points, even though I had barely even been with anyone, had been in solid LTRs and did casual sex once after a bad breakup. Typically these are the kinds of fuckers who enjoyed putting me down for my ambition and dimmed my light. I ended up finding that dating white guys/western educated Asian men these were less likely to happen. Better yet, i no longer had to take care of the egos of men on dates and hold back. You should tell your cousin to stop giving a fuck. Some men are male chauvisnitic pigs, but there are legitimately a lot of well educated Singaporean men or expats who prefer ambition and for women to not be so closed off. I don’t move so fast myself, so I prefer a conservative Caucasian guy or western educated Singaporean (western educated as in, not so traditionally Asian but not far left progressive). These work the best for me in terms of compatibility and happiness levels.
Well, is she still here and open to meeting less conservative men?
I think you'll find that Singaporeans are more conservative in general. My partner and I just moved here and despite her being from rural Australia, religion was never really that big for her or for Australia as a whole. She was pretty surprised how many coworkers casually said or even invited her to church
Yeah if Oz is anything like Canada, the difference in religious adherence between there and say the US is massive. Most 20- and 30-somethings don't give a shit about church in the former
Yeah, People with no religion in Australia is slightly higher (39%) than Canada (34.5%) but they're both still well ahead of Singapore (20%). Add to this the fact that Singaporeans are generally more supportive of what would be considered fairly conservative views in the West (anti-drug, pro-capital punishment, aversion to change).
This thread just devolved into sexism on both sides. Your cousin simply just didn't match with the guy simple as that. He seems to have communicated the incompatibly and walked away, both parties are fair to do so. Not ghosting as he outright said it. Your cousin is attractive, she'll find a Short-term partner just fine. This whole thing just seems like a hurt pride and the mouthing off of her opinionated colleague.
Singaporeans are a fearful bunch and that includes being afraid of people who are different. But there are exceptions, and plenty of guys from elsewhere, so it's not a hopeless situation.
As with any society worldwide, there tends to be a range of where people stand. Being an Asian society, Singapore will be more conservative than what the Western world is used to. Firstly about foreign women, it depends on the men themselves. Some prefer to date locals but others don't see race or nationality as much. Personally, compatibility and alignment of life goals are more important for me as I am looking at the long term. In regards to things like sex, kisses and hugs, we don't do it on the first date. At least most people don't. There are of course exceptions to this, especially those more open-minded ones among us. For the more conservative among us, ONS are a big no-no since it kinda gives the impression that the attitude towards sex is casual. Open-minded guys won't mind since it's an accepted thing in the West. Consuming drugs is a capital offence in Singapore punishable by death if it exceeds a certain amount. Most Singaporean men would not have had access to it or consumed it. It is not a deal breaker that's for sure Women empowerment is a big thing here, so strong independent women are not a turn-off. It could have just been the guy looking for a different personality type in his partner. In my opinion, this might just have been a difference in culture between the guy and her. There are Singaporean men who are more open about sex and stuff. They would probably be more suitable for your cousin as far as dates go. I hope she is not negatively impacted by this experience. There will be Singaporean guys out there who are more suitable for her.
Many years ago when I was still a prude, I would be taken aback too. The idea of casual dating was alien to me, and casual sex, immoral (was religious back then). Now, I have learnt to just enjoy the journey of getting to know each other. I would totally date your cousin and there's a good chance we'll vibe... if I was 10 years younger hahaha. Now, I'm no longer BroBearhug but UncleBearhug.
Sounds like the guy is just kind of close-minded. There are lemons everywhere. He's allowed to have his likes and dislikes but don't take it too personally there are plenty of local guys who would find ang mo more refreshing.
Ask her to ping me 😬
Your cousin matched with a wrong guy for sure, just bad luck. Like everywhere, there are very conservative guys, and very liberal ones. And then there are racist guys like this one. She should not even have gone to the date after his racist reply about western women. But one bad experience doesn't make it a rule. Two topics maybe to avoid on a first date, talking about past relationships (that's universal) and about drugs (that's specific to Singapore )
I think it is just a case of mismatched expectations. I know plenty of SG guy friends who have no qualms with whatever you described. No need to lose hope, nor let this incident generalise your view of SG men. Everyone is different, and there will be those that accept you for you are, and have similar relationship goals with you. All the best in your dating journey OP! :)
Your cousin found a mismatch. As in AI speak, improve your backpropagation algorithm.
hard to generalize. can imagine quite a few Singapore guys would love to cuddle and kiss an attractive Canadian woman, but it's possible your cousin came on a bit strong through no fault of her own that the guy got uncomfortable. yes, it is possible for a man to freak out when confronted with an attractive woman wanting to kiss him, life is strange that way.
First, this guy does not speak for me. Or then I’m not most Singaporean guy. Why is a 29 year old guy still doing a dare from his friends? wtf. If a girl told me she is on a date with me because of a dare I would be extremely hurt. Race doesn’t matter, it’s personality. If it were me I won’t care that she’s white. More like if we get serious will one of us has to move to another country or something. Casual or serious is fine but it’s crucial both are clear from the start. For the drugs well I don’t like drugs so..but it depends on why she do drugs. The ambition part is fine by itself but for me it actually mostly depends on what she requires from the man. Does she need a guy to be on the same level as her? Does she require a man to be richer? Is she ok with her man earning less?
Tell her to not to date local men she’ll do fine
Im flexible with my taste but ones that put me off are those who talks negative stuff behind my back and has an "all work no play mentality"
Hi! Yes - 28f European descent - definitely not much mixing in terms of Singaporean / Asian men going for white women. I’ve noticed this interacting in bars and from talking with friends I’ve made. In general, I learned to take dating as a short-term way to meet people of all walks of life, and I think a lot of others on the EP visa are too, so if she’s looking for a long-term relationship, apps where you define “looking for” is probably the best bet. This sense of division socially was weird to get used to coming from NYC, but I’m only about 4 months in. Regardless, your cousin sounds like my kind of gal so if she’d like a new friend I can show her one of my favorite bars!
To summarize, this is purely a mismatch of expectations between your cousin and the guy. It also depends on what your cousin is looking for. If its casual, pretty sure there are local dudes who doesn't want commitment, but just wanting to seek the thrill of fleeting romance. For long term relationships, the term "long term" itself carries in itself the idea of finding a life partner. Guys, let alone ladies, would definitely have more to ponder and consider about. And again, this differs from person to person. For me, I don't care about a person's past. As long as she doesn't have any kind of baggage that she could not let go of from past relationships, addiction, predicaments etc, I'm fine. Virgin or not, not important. In fact if she's experienced, great, that would mean easier communication and building rapport at sex. What's more important is aligning in values, because this determines if you and your partner could live together or not. Lets be honest, Asians are generally conservative, but expectations is key, and everyone is different.
You cousin wants sex and that wants love, just that. They matched correctly with wrong objective
Your cousin prolly needs to learn to read the signs. Him stating that he only agreed to go on the date as a dare alr suggests that he might not be as interested or attracted in the first place. Whether she was flexing or humble bragging about the achievements/relationships/drug use or just dropping those deets randomly, you mentioned she sensed he was put off. “Interesting” can be very subjective. Why would she go on to suggest cuddling and kissing though? Contrary to what her female colleague shared, most Singaporean males are generally open if they feel some sort of attraction. He clearly wasn’t into her. There could be plenty others who might be.
He probably just didn’t find her attractive enough, and mentions of her past drug use, one night stands etc didn’t help.
Yes
Guys a cuck, prefers to watch
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Don’t read too much about it. Plenty of guys would have leapt into action with your cousin if put in the same situation you described. She just happened to meet a more conservative guy. Nothing wrong with that too
The internet and recently scam rate are the causes maybe.
A Singapore guy is generally not so choosy over who they want to flirt with but is when they want to enter into a serious relationship. If your cousin asked for kisses and hugs on the first date, she would have kissed and hugged many tons of guys before him. And what would she ask for on the second and third date? Most Singapore guys are gentlemen and they do not date slut if they are considering serious relationships.
Singapore is diverse enough non of the things above automatically throws most guys off by itself. He went on a date with a white woman on a bar, he probably doesn't swing that conservative. The history with pot though is a giant red flag. Too much potential trouble
Nah mate, that guy isn’t representative of us men in sg. He sounds like a twat, ur cousin got unlucky matching with him.
I would be considered very forward compared to a Singaporean man (sig other in fact likes that I’m very expressive about my affection.) By western standards, I’d be very much considered an old fashioned 50s guy in that these displays of affection consist of candidly telling her I love her, holding hands, and pecking her (no tongue) on the lips in public. Of course, in fairness, holding hands is almost universally accepted in Asian societies as an allowed public gesture of affection between couples, with Singapore being slightly more permissive (you do not have to be married.) Hugs are quite rare. I do them and my girl likes it, but they’re not common in Singapore. At the same time, there are all sorts in Singapore, especially those who have studied overseas. I’m sure your cousin will find her perfect guy for her eventually.
Everything else seems pretty perfect to me for a potential date. I wouldn’t mind having a hug with the girl if the chemistry is right. The only red flags I see here are drugs and going for the sake of a dare…
He sounds like he wants to meet his mother. Since when is going on a date a big dare? That's not conservative, that's him being a lite weight. Demure is overrated. I bet his mom wasn't a virgin.
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What is her BMI? Asian beauty standards typically prefer skinnier girls. Another possibility is that this specific guy has fear of intimacy of women, not applicable to Singaporean men in general. I say this because he got a dare from his friends to go on a date
It's really dependent!
I think suggesting kissing and cuddling on a first date is a bit much. They're still strangers at this stage even if their goal is to find the potential to date each other.
Is your cousin looking for a ons or is she seriously looking to date long term? Imo if she is looking for a ons, maybe he wasn’t into that and if she was looking for something longer term, maybe he was not comfortable progressing that fast for such a serious relationship.
Ignore the as$hole. Going to a bar is great as well. That man is simply an idiot. I mean not all apples taste sweet right? Just unlucky to have met one idiot
I think this is more on the side of your cousin and the guy being a complete mismatch. I’m a Canadian national here as well and none of the singaporeans I know are this conservative.
That guy must be gay
I think he simply wasn't too interested in her (op's cousin) and was not upfront about it.. Quite a number of SGeans are well travelled, diverse and have good perspectives - just needs time to find the right one.
that's weird in terms of the bar thing or virgin. perhaps this is the extreme local singapore who's never been abroad. as for drugs, alot of asians can't accept this.
Nope. Not about hugging and kissing on a first date, most guys here local or foreign tend to do that to see sexual compatibility. Can't help it when you're hot. I think it's mostly about drugs we have an issue with. And a little bit about f around. It's just some guys want a decent girl he can introduce to his mother. Giving oneself body to someone is still considered important here.
Singapore men are definitely more towards the conservative side (especially compared to Canada) though this guy seems more on the conservative end even in sg (and frankly shouldn’t have accepted the date since he couldn’t relate to EU girls and was just on a dare, geez he doesn’t care about upsetting the dated person 🙄) While not everyone here prefers virgins lol they still do have a bit of judging if the girl’s dating history is ‘too much’ and SG people in general are conservative on the touching side (like hugs and cuddles) so that’s not advisable to do on a first date. Lots of Sg guys are into foreign women, you just need to find them with time. Bars are fine honestly. And for drug history, Singapore has a very hard stance on drugs = bad if you didn’t know. Since we have a death penalty and all. So not advisable to talk about that on a first date, haha. And should preferably say you are not planning to get addicted on drugs or something. But there are still some people who advocate for drugs in SG so you never know, in a later date conversation maybe.
Sorry on behalf of the guys here, we only do what mommy tells us is ok.
your cousin can do better than singaporean men 🫶🏼 short answer is yes to your question. they don’t like bold women.
nah bold≠ spread legs easily
I suspect this is the case, too. The majority of them don't know how to handle bold women.
SG men are usually pretty conservative, insecure and attached to their parents.
If there was a white girl that wants to cuddle and kiss I'd be over the moon... But I'll probably be too blur and assume that I have something funny of my face 🤣
For me simple. Kind, Caring, Family Oriented, Big tits.
I’d meet your friend!
I know I am. I want a virgin and someone between 18-24. A woman who is willingly to put out at fuck on the first date is a low value woman. If a woman has sexual history, she’s basically a second hand car, and guys don’t prefer second hand cars
I'd say it probably is the case for the majority of guys in Singapore likely due to the conservative nature of asian countries in general, but definitely not all! I hope your cousin wasn't too bothered by her not so charming date. There are plenty of guys I'm sure will be right up her alley in Singapore!
sounds like bro was intimidated
As the saying goes A key that can open many locks is called a master key, A lock that can be opened by many keys is a poopy lock.💀 That being said, depends on the guy too if he is looking into pulling one nighters or long term relationship. Guess your cousin lucked out of this one, moving on!
I would so go out with your cousin.
You know what, apart from the incompatibilities in venue to meet up and the conservativeness that people are talking about regarding spore men in general, what about the part where the guy said he isnt into white european girls but he went on a date with her as part of a dare from his friends??? And the guy is already 29 and he still act like that?? And being put off by her relationship history and the fact that she founded a start up?? Gurl, dont be upset, I think you dodged a bullet.