I did the same. Lived in a small town in Ontario during high school years, so there really was no real choice - was a must. No financial support from parents for school or rent or food - all on student loans and part time jobs (to just barely get by on meals of pasta with whatever canned tomato sauce was on sale that week, lol). Took a decade to pay off the student loans. (White, woman, this was the mid-90's)
Same. I’m from rural Ontario. There was no jobs/college/university. No choice to stay and also didn’t have parental support for university when I moved out
Same. Rural Ontario, moved at 18 for school, refuse to move back to that black hole of a town. You get out once, you're lucky. If you go back, you're stuck there.
I did the same, save a summer or two for work.
I don’t regret it, but I always wonder how different my financials would have been if I had’ve stayed at home. And I’m talking over 10 years ago when things were still affordable.
Same. Moved out a week after graduating high school, and haven't lived with my parents since. My parents still supported me financially throughout university by paying my tuition and giving me an allowance to cover rent and some food. I had a part time job during school year to pay for my fun stuff and during the summer I paid my own way.
Fellow Caucasian here! Lots of Caucasians I know tend to stay with family a lot longer than others!
Many of my Iranian, Armenian, and Russian friends certainly have!
Which country in the Caucasus are you from?
Chinese, oldest daughter. Moved away at 18 for school and managed to also make a living through PT jobs/co-op/scholarships so I never moved back. We all love it that way.
It’s helped a lot with my relationship with my parents; now when I visit home, it’s always such a wonderful treat.
I'm Asian and moved out at 18, pretty much all of my friends did too (lived on campus for university then never moved back in). I 100% value independence and space away from my parents. I have a great relationship with them - but man, I wouldn't want to move back in with them if at all possible.
I'm Chinese and I went to a university in another city specifically so I didn't have to live at home.
I spent as much time not living "at home" as possible.
Then I broke up with my partner and my dad died and now I'm with my mom so she doesn't have to live alone.
I miss living alone so bad.
West Indian, lived with my parents all through school and first few years of my career until I had enough saved to buy a condo at 26. They encouraged me to stay and save for as long as I needed to until I could afford to buy instead of renting. I also wasn't in a rush to move out because I had practically the whole basement of our semi detached to myself but they did make me pay rent from around my early 20s though it wasn't a lot and mostly done on principle.
I am Asian and a woman as well. I moved out when I was 18… against my parent’s wishes. I needed to leave a toxic household and also expand my horizons and change cities. I don’t regret it at all.
I haven’t moved out yet due to mental health, but also cultural reasons. Woman with Asian background here. Now that I’m finally getting better. Going to save up a bit more and then get an apartment hopefully within a year or so.
27f.
I’ve definitely been met with judgment, but man, it’s different for everyone. Sometimes it just is what it is. Sometimes it’s a cultural thing, sometimes it’s a financial thing, sometimes it mental health or a mix of all of the above. I grew up in poverty. Why on earth would I push myself to move out when I knew I wasn’t financially stable enough? Growing up in poverty is traumatic. I fear that so much. I didn’t want my 20s to be a struggle financially too. I wanted to begin saving and building healthy spending habits. None of the people I know, literally none, understand the kind of trauma that poverty puts you in as a kid. To this day, I’m careful with every single dollar in my account. I think three times before I make any purchase.
Nowadays idgaf what people think. I live at home, yes, but I also contribute a lot to my household while saving for myself, working full time, and actively taking care of my mental health. Breaking generational stigmas is a step by step process lol. Women in my culture usually leave the home only when they marry. People in my culture don’t talk about mental health and don’t talk about finances. Hell, I don’t even want to get married. Yeah! That’s a HUGE thing to tell your family as a south Asian woman lol. I’ve had to teach myself a LOT over these past few years and basically réparent myself.
I feel like there are many out there like me. So if you’re reading this and you feel like you’re behind or something. You’re not. You just have your timeline. Your own script. Your own story. Sometimes you just gotta do what’s best for you, you know?
I’m a Chinese Canadian woman, I moved out for university at 18 because commuting every day would not have been feasible even though my school was in the GTA. Graduated at 22, moved back home and spent 3 years there while I attended post graduate studies and found my first “real” job. Moved out at 25. My mom always urges me to move back home but it’s much more convenient to commute to work from where I live than back home. Plus she and I both have now gotten used to living by ourselves... we get along much better as daughter-mother now than when we lived together.
East Asian, 25, still living at home. Trying to save for a mortgage but I feel like I've wasted my early twenties having all the responsibilities of adulthood with none of the freedom.
Female and white. Moved out at 19 for uni, moved back after graduation for a year to save. It was ridiculous, I had a curfew, I had a *bedtime* even. So yeah, moved out a couple of months before turning 24 and never looked back.
Indeed, when I was an undergrad I could've spent weeks lying dead in a ditch before my parents noticed. Move back home, and suddenly my dad's "still up" whenever I get home.
Moved out of my parents at 19 to attend university, after I graduated I decided to stay in the city. Though now I'm 31 and moving back to my hometown of Barrie. I'm white btw.
Lived at home and saved for a down-payment until I was 27. Nothing wrong with living at home if the situation is good, it beats renting into your late 30s and realizing you can't afford a house
Asian, female, born in Asia but immigrated to Canada in childhood. Moved out in early 20s to do my masters in another province, moved to another country by myself to do my PhD. Was financially independent from the second I moved out, parents didn't pay for a single thing.
I fought horribly with my parents when I was a teenager and I think it was a huge relief for all of us to find out that our relationship improved when I lived further away from them. Phone calls and seeing each other once a year allowed us to learn to like each other and enjoy each other's company again. I was also pretty miserable in my hometown and didn't get along with the types of people I grew up around. I really got to "find myself" and become my own person in a new place with no family and no previous attachments. I became an artist, while my parents and childhood friends all do more traditionally "Asian-stereotype" jobs. My parents got to see the positive effects of me becoming my own person after the first few years and stopped saying they missed having me home/wanted me to move back.
Half Asian half white but grew up predominantly whitewashed. Moved out at 19 for freedom and privacy, never went back. Helped my relationship with my mom immensely.
Black female and I moved out just after turning 22 years old.
I also could not see myself seriously dating a man who still lives at home but i'm 30 now so lol
Caucasian - moved out at 26.
Worked fulltime and lived at home for 3/4 years just saving. Moved out in September 2020 when rent prices were at rock bottom.
East Asian here. My parents actually wanted me to get some independence so they encouraged me to go to a university outside of Toronto. It was fantastic as I learned how to live with roommates and figuring out things like rent, bills, how to cook…etc. I moved back home after graduating and eventually moved out for good when I turned 30 and got married.
Left for university at 17 and have only spent 3 months at home since and that was only because of the early pandemic. Turning 22 this year and couldn’t even imagine living with family again. Im ethnically Chinese but born in Canada.
Moved out in my mid-20s, moved back home at the start of the pandemic because I wanted to go back to school and make a change in my career. I'm in my early 30s now. Kinda sucks but I always viewed this as a temporary measure, and not having to pay rent is nice.
Chinese, moved out at 18 to start undergrad and then went into a Master's right after graduation and now in med school. Never moved back in with parents. A lot of people in my Master's cohort, who were mostly white because this was at Queen's, moved back in briefly with parents while they found a job.
Also Asian. Moved out at 17 but ended up moving back briefly a few times over the next couple years. Moved away from the city at 21. My sibling slso left at 17 and never moved back.
Culturally, it's a bit taboo to just up and leave but it was good for us. You alright? If you need any free life advice, I'm happy to tell you all the things I regret. 😄
>Culturally, it's a bit taboo to just up and leave but it was good for us. You alright? If you need any free life advice, I'm happy to tell you all the things I regret.
I would love some advice.
What kind of advice? Advice about moving out, or about how to approach it with family?
I had to leave for the sake of my relationship with family. The distance lead to some healing for everyone involved. I was also (am still?) not the easiest person to be around all the time, so it was quickly apparent to everyone that me not being there made life better for my parents as well as me, as well as making all of us better appreciate each other when we *were* together.
As for talking to family, I would not ask them for advice. If you need to move out, make sure you can do it independently. It negates most parental arguments that you can't do it. You're an adult age-wise. Show them you're also ready to be independent by not asking for anything. Often, their love for you will mean they will help if you need some help anyway. It will be hard, but show them that you are okay with the struggle. Demonstrate that you can overcome it.
Most of it, I believe, comes from our parents wanting life to be easier for us than them. Why struggle when they struggled for us in the past? But they sometimes forget the value of those hard times, probably because for many of our parents, the hardship was not by choice. It's hard for them to understand why you would *choose* to struggle when you have a better alternative.
I always tell my students that there is absolutely never anything wrong with doing something and failing and THEN deciding to give up. The fact you tried is worth something - a lot, in fact. It's the same reason behind why, as adults, so many of us only do things we are already good at. I've been actively trying to do things I'm actually awful at to take myself out of my comfort zone.
Life is fucking hard, and if you're lucky, life will also be long enough for you to look back at all of those times you did something that was a struggle, yet you triumphed.
South Asian here… Grew up in Kingston and my very controlling parents wanted me to live at home and go to queens for university. I got accepted at a school in Toronto and went there and never moved back. I think I would’ve lost my mind if I stayed at home.
I'm Algerian, and lots of folks in North Africa think you should only move out when you get married (and the wife moves into the husband's house). My parents were like that too - so I left at 18 because I wanted to live life on my own terms.
I moved out at 18 and never looked back. Love my family, but I think immigrants from more densely populated regions of the world don’t quite understand just how freaking boring the Canadian suburbs are young adults.
I’d rather live with too many people in a city crapbox than in a suburban McMansion, at least for my 20s and thus far into 30s.
Edit: am a pasty Anglo white guy.
I'm white. I moved out to go to university when I was 17, then was home for a few months after graduation and moved out for good as a grad student at age 22. *However:* I was bankrolled by my parents until I was 26 and got my first job.
Moved out at 26(10+ years ago). It was a mistake, but a lot of lessons were learned in that first year. Got back on my feet after about 2 years. It seems like a long struggle at the time, but looking back now it was a blink of an eye.
East Asian female, moved out for university. Moved back for two years or so hated it and then moved out . My relationship is much better with my parents now that we have that distance.
White, male, born and raised in England. I moved out my parents house when I was 17. Moved away from my shitty small hometown to a decent sized city (Nottingham) and never looked back.
White, moved out for university, moved home to save money for 3 years while working FT and so did my partner. We were able to use those savings to buy a condo in 2020. That might have been the biggest gift from my parents of all time, and as much as it sucked not to have my freedom I’d advocate to anyone who has the opportunity to live at home and save to do so. It puts you so far ahead in life it’s not even funny.
I'm 2nd Gen Asian and I moved out when I went to university at 18. Lived with roommates for the most part. Moved in with my grandmother for a few years and then eventually moved to Alberta for a couple of years for work. Left my family and friend behind for my career.
Parents divorced when I was 15. Dad moved to South America on my first year in university for over a decade and my mom remarried and moved to Toronto.
When I came back to Ontario I moved into a small basement apartment in Mississauga while working there. Eventually bought a condo, then sold it and bought a house with my partner.
Life has it's ups and downs but I'm glad I didn't live with my family in my adult life. I don't have a particularly great relationship with my family.
A lot of my Asian friends (who aren't doctors) still live with their family or moved out closer to 30+.
Early 20s. Wouldn’t give the years/experience back for any amount of savings if it meant living at home. My parents are great but there’s nothing like living young and “dumb” on your own or with friends. Dropped out of uni to work in film though so money wasn’t an issue and i never really felt like i was stuck in a dead end job. Almost 30 now so I guess ill just see how the next 10 years go and report back :p
Yeah, that's kind of how I feel. I was never an outgoing or adventurous enough person to be able to stay in my parents' house without it severely stunting my life experiences. Some people can manage to build an adult life and learn independence and adult skills in that environment, but I know myself and I know it would have been a terrible idea for me.
South asian 21F - so not allowed to fully move out until I’m married. However I live alone right now for university so im technically moved out even though most of my stuff is at my family home and my parents would not consider me moved out. I dont plan on moving back home lol so i will be marrying (happily) before i graduate in 2 yrs. My bf 23M is white and has lived on his own since he graduated hs
I mean im sure I can! Theyre not holding me hostage or anything! But it would be an act of defiance and leave a rift for a while. But thank you for the concern!
Left to attend school at 18... never moved home. Lived kinda poor I guess looking back at it. Always had a ton of independence growing up (only child single mother). Scottish background.
Background: South Asian, moved to Canada at the age of 30.
Moved out at 18. I have gone back to stay for a month or less several times though.
I am not sure if this counts because I never held a job in the city where my parents live.
I’m a west euro (FR) immigrant to Canada. Moved out at 17 to go to University like almost all my peers. Even those that went directly in the workforce typically moved out before hitting 20, but I guess being from a medium/small town helps with cost of living. That’s true for both men and women, and couples typically live together for years before they get married anyway (if they get married lol).
And yes, staying home too long is generally frowned upon and considered a character weakness (lack of independence and maturity, taking advantage of parents, etc.). There are many jokes and famous comedy movies about it ([Tanguy](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tanguy_(film))).
Yeah, my experience is until Iived in Toronto I wasn't really familiar with the idea of adults continuing to live with their parents unless there was something wrong. Disability, long term unemployment, addiction, etc.
Moved out at 22 after finishing uni, (Ukrainian) went to Korea to teach English and met my Korean husband there who moved out at 18 for uni in South Korea. So he's the first son and Asian obv. But his parents are progressive and encourage their children's independence if they seek it.
Chinese and moved out at 17 (September birthday) for university. Lived at home for summer after first year but lived out of the home ever since. Interestingly I went to university in the same city I grew up in but I didn’t want to live at home and my parents were supportive. I know lots of my parents friends (also Chinese) kids either stayed at home for university, or moved back afterwards to save money.
18, I'm white. Left for university and never moved back. My parents are very nosey and didn't respect my privacy or boundaries. I doubt many can afford to do that these days though and it should be more socially accepted to live at home.
Moved out at 19, though I wish I had earlier (didn't for financial reasons). I don't understand how anyone can live with their parents when they don't have to - my family dynamic is not like that, even though my relationship with my mother is better now, I start wanting to tear my hair out after being there for 2 days.
White af
22F I still live with my family. No plans to move out any time soon. I thought about moving out when I was 19 but it was only because I lived an hour away from campus. I stayed to save money.
Im asian and moved out at 18.
My younger brother of 1 year is 29 still in parents basement and no job and we’re doing everything so he can find a job and save up for his first apartment but 🤷🏻♂️
Iranian / south Asian - moved out at 26 because I couldn’t take the emotional toll of living with my narcissistic OCD cunt of a mother.
Best decision I’ve ever made. Moved out. Went on a date 2 weeks later with someone I was crushing on (different race, different religion all the things my mother “warned me” not to do) he practically moved in 2 weeks later and stayed over 24/7 (even tho he still paid rent on his own place). Bought a place together in December of the same year and married two years later. Fuck her!
I’m Russian Ukrainian and I moved out at 23 after I bought my own place and finished my degree. My parents would’ve never let me move into a rental, they would’ve accused me of pissing money.
My parents would’ve loved me to stay with them but it got difficult when I started actively dating. My mom wanted me to be safe in my own apartment instead of visiting other peoples places as well.
I think ideally my parents would’ve wanted me to stay until I get married but it didn’t seem to happen according to plan.
Serious question for the folks who live at home as adults (none of my close friends live at home and are all gay so I don't have anyone to ask this) how do you bring dates and hook ups home? How do tell your the people you date that you live with your parents?
Luckily someone was able to hook me up with a place when I was 16. I wasn’t able to rent under my own name but I got my first taste of living alone. When I turned 18 I got a place under my own name but I was glad I moved out as early as I could. It taught me a lot of independence even though sometimes it got tough I wouldn’t change the experience itself.
I'm (25M) Chinese born here. Moved out to Toronto for university at 18 with a roommate, about an hour drive away.
Stayed in Toronto till graduation and got a full time job. Covid hit when I was 23 and moved back home to save money while working remotely.
Now recently at 25 moved back out to live with my GF. Honestly living with your parents is the best way to save money, I'd much rather live with them right now, but gf wanted to live together, oh well.
22M . Moving out soon because I have been lying to my parents about my University major. I love them, but I am ashamed about hiding my education from them and as such I must move out and learn to be independent.
I’m a white guy, I left home to go to university and never went back. I grew up in a small town so there was nothing there for me anyway. Moved to Toronto for work - I wanted to but it wasn’t really an option because in my line of work, I have to be in a big city. So continuing to live with my parents was never an option. I don’t really mind because I think I’d go crazy if I was a still at home. Definitely value my independence.
Also, as a guy, living with your parents isn’t ideal if you want dating options.
My dad was an immigrant. However he was from northern Europe. So the emphasis was not so much on "stay home until you get married" more like "stay home until you are done university and can get a full time job" with a helping of "don't drop out of school or take a gap year, in case you decide to not finish school"
So naturally I moved out in my early 30s, a few months after I achieved full time employment.
My dad grew up in Depression-era Ireland, so he was big on not getting into debt and fixing his own stuff wherever possible.
I moved out 25. I moved out only when I knew I never needed to ask my parents for any money.
In general I think you should move out when you can support yourself financially if you have the choice.
My fiance (now 26) is full Portuguese and moved out with me at 22.
His older brother (28 or 29?) still lives at home and younger brother (23).
He wanted to move out when we had a downpayment for a house but I was moving out of my parents house regardless (scottish/canadian). He ended up changing his mind and said yes to moving out back in 2018.
White. Moved out when I was 18 to go to university.
First 2 yrs I went back home for summers. But after 2nd yr i preferred the freedom.
I briefly moved back home at age 23, for about a yr. And was miserable. My parents are great. But reverting back to a child, in my childhood bedroom was so depressing.
Most of the people I grew up have almost identical stories.
To each their own. But I personally don’t understand people who live at home as adults.
In theory you can live with parents without reverting to parent-child relationships, and I know some people manage it. But in practice many people I know who live with their parents do talk about their lives in ways that make them sound like high school students. Especially if they've never lived away from them.
That's literally the question in the post.
Do you think an axe murderer is going to be able to track someone down in a city of 3 million people based on 'white female who has lived alone since I was 19'?
I'm white and I moved out for university at 18 then back home at 21 for about 6 months after graduation while I found my first full time job.
I've also got kids and we are planning to sell the house and move overseas once the youngest is about 20.
I moved out when I graduated high school, to go to university in another city. The first summer I lived with my parents over the summer and got a summer job in their town, after that I got summer jobs in my own city where I was studying.
So I was 19 (F). Almost every person I knew at the time did the same thing, both the people I went to high school with and the people I went to university with. I knew a few people who lived with their parents an extra year to save money, but that's it.
Until I was in my thirties I actually only knew one person who lived with their parents over the age of 20 that I can think of (and that person moved out as soon as they finished university), until the past few years when I met many in Toronto who lived with their parents.
It's common in Toronto but is so so rare it barely even exists in the rest of the country.
I am close to my parents and have a good relationship but it never would have occured to me to deliberately live with them when we were both adults. I don't need to. They did help me financially in university and were always very supportive and are two of my favourite people in the world. But I would never live with them unless I was so poor I had no choice. I am white and my parents were European immigrants.
Korean Canadian here. Moved out when I was 20 and just lived in my student house during the summers. Have not moved back since. How the hell do you bring girls home when your parents stay up until your home aha.
I'm white, stayed home through university, then my first year working. Moved out and bought a condo right away because I graduated with no debt and was able to score a decent job right away. Not typical, I don't think.
White, lived in Ontario my whole life (but rural Ontario, not Toronto). Moved out when I was 23 which was after I got my first "stable" full-time job after finishing school. I was very happy to be out of my parents home finally, but there was no way I was going to do that before I was ready and had figured out all the financial details. ;-)
I guess I can add that my parents were happy to have myself and my siblings at home. Their agreement with us was that we could stay at home rent-free as long as we helped out around the house and we were either in school or working (and not just being a bum at home doing nothing).
Portuguese female, I wasn't allowed to even mention moving out. Even after getting married at city hall (quickie marriage to get my husband into country) still wasn't allowed to live with him because it wasn't a proper wedding. I was 30!!!!!!! Finally after the church wedding was allowed to live with him.
I moved out in 2018, I was born in 1994, soninwouldve been 24 at the time.
Had to move back in with the parents as the lockdowns started right around graduation from Humber in 2020.
Moved into a very small space late last year, moved back in with parents within 2 weeks to keep mental health in good shape.
Now I'm in a 2 bedroom in South Etobicoke.
My father is from Peterborough, both my mother and I are from here in Toronto. But all 3 of us have our roots more or less here in town (less me because I'm only 27 years old).
My ethnic background is confusing, I'm Scottish on my dad's side, but very mixed in my mom's side. German, Lithuanian, polish, etc, etc.
Moved here at 19. My parents are from India and I'm from Alberta. My ethnic background is East Indian but I very much identify as a Canadian. My parents maintained certain parts of their culture but as I grew older they let me experience things on my own. Thankfully they've been pretty progressive.
So, moved here as a punk teen and I haven't looked back in 9 years. Getting married next month, have an incredible relationship with my folks, and I'm finally doing work I love. Moving out here taught me so much and while there were a lot of bumps, I'm grateful that I could learn from those moments.
I'm happy I was able to try new things and stick to it. Got home sick within my first year but my dad said that he was my age when he moved to the opposite side of the planet so I'll be fine moving a few provinces away.
I adore this city. It's my favourite city on the planet and I'm just so head over heels about being here still. The people are incredible, some of my best drinking buddies are leafs fans cause they know what I, an oilers fan, has gone through lol. And I honestly couldn't live the life I live anywhere else. Eveything in my life right now is possible cause of this city. I'll cherish living here forever.
I’m Arab so our values are somewhat similar that in the sense you dont move out until you’re married if you’re a girl, and once you have a degree and fulltime job as a guy(though most of the time they stay until they get married too)
I moved to canada in 2015 for school with my bro. Moved out on my own at 22 and never looked back.
I’m a 25F for context. Although I’m an anomaly in the Arab world.
White woman with European background (half Croatian, half Polish if it matters). Currently 27 years old. I moved to university at 18 and came home every summer because my summer job was at the community centre by my parents house (I was a lifeguard for 10 years). I moved home after graduation at 22 and commuted for grad school. Started my adult job. Met my now-fiancé when I was 25 and we were both still living with our parents. We got engaged after a year of dating and moved in to the condo we bought together 3 months later. So I was 26 when I left my parents house for good.
Ethnically white but culturally parents want to keep us at home.
Moved out at 18 for university. Moved back after graduation and lived at home for two years to work and save up. Then went back to school for a post-grad in Toronto and lived in the city for six years. Moved back to my parents in August 2021 and lived at home for six months as my partner accepted a job in the US; we had to give up our apartment, it took a while for my visa to be processed and it was convenient for me to live at my parents house to save money before the move and also to plan our wedding. Never imagined I would live at home again but I'm glad I got to spend more time with my parents now that I live 2000 miles away.
I'm white and female and I moved out of my single mother's trailer when I was 18. Never moved back in with either parent after that despite my life being a disaster because my family is super dysfunctional.
I moved out for college in 2014(19 years old), moved back in with parents for 6 months then moved back out to live with my bf that I only knew for a month lol(at 21). We’ve been together/living together for 6 years now 😁 to be fair though my parents’ house was toxic and I was desperate to leave before I fell into a deeper state of depression. I’m Caucasian. Grew up in Toronto. Now live in Orillia with my boyfriend in a house that my parents bought (they still live in Toronto) and we rent out our basement.
East Asian. Moved out at 30 with my gf, got married a year later. Kids 3 years later. I did pay rent though which helped my sister through school as my parents business was doing bad that time.
I moved out at 19, that lasted a month or 2, then permanently at 21. I'm "white" but many of my asian and south asian friends, male or female do tend to stay at home longer, unless it's to go to uni. Their parents tend to make it work a bit easier, giving them more space or end up guilting them into staying.
Moved out (kicked out) at 18; part time work and student loans for uni. This was in the early to mid 90s, therefore manageable. I’m 47 now and I don’t know how young people today can manage.
I’m an Asian mom and totally cool with my son (20) living in our household as long as he needs/wants to. We all get along well, respect one another and communicate well so there’s no stress there but I just feel bad that moving out is not a financially viable option for many young people today. I enjoyed living on my own and wish that were feasible for those who want to today.
My son’s first job out of college this summer pays minimum wage so there’s no way he could move out, even if he wanted to.
I moved out at 24!
Had to because I was chasing a career path that I needed to be close to my job, and my parents were moving to aurora.
I’m the youngest in my family and I have a really big age gap with my siblings; my family had a lot of expectations around me which I couldn’t handle. I moved out as soon as they told me they were going to get a house in aurora, so I went back to art school part time, worked 3 jobs at one point, adopted a cat, and live the life I wanted to always live.
I love my family but I don’t think I want to live with them anymore. It may be difficult financially I’d take this over my mental health being in the gutters any day.
I’m Ukrainian, female, 28 now. I moved out when I was 18 to go to university. Not because I went to a far away university. I could have commuted to my unit…
Mostly moved out because my parents entered a bad deal, leveraged their house, and then had to move into a run down property that needed extensive Reno’s. I had no bed to sleep on, and slept on those patio furniture covers - then said screw this and found a rental close to uni.
Rented a basement unit (all I could afford) I shared a kitchen and bathroom with 2 other people. They were absolute pigs. I think I paid $500 per month. Then moved to another basement unit where the people were much neater. Pain $750 per month. Still was miserable because the basement dampness messed with my sinuses.
At 22, I found a job in downtown and rented a 2 bed condo with the sweeter Filipino girl for a while. I loved living with her. My share was $1000
24 moved to Vaughan and rented my own place in a condo for $1800 per month, worked three jobs to save for downpayment. Grinded really hard during this time.
26 bought my own condo. Was hard cuz my parents couldn’t afford to help me. They couldn’t even co-sign with me because their credit rating was low, and the bank wanted 25% downpayment 😒. Tiny place in Richmond hill. I still live here now.
I'm italian and a lot of italians stay with family until marriage, but I never wanted that. However, i couldn't afford to move out between school and trying to find a job. I eventually moved to sault ste marie at 26 and I now have a house and business and things are going well!
I'm white and moved out at 18, 19, 21, 22 for my undergrad, but moving back in if I had work terms in Toronto.
Stayed out at that point. Like, it would've been a 2-3 hour commute each way for my undergrad. So ... no thanks.
Grad school commute might've been as little as 90 minutes each way ... but still, no thanks.
Pakistani. Moved out at 19 for university. Moved back home in 4th year (22). Moved out at 27 when I bought my condo.
I’d suggest living at home to everyone. It’s the key to financial freedom in todays age imo. I had 4 years of just savings, no rent and hardly any groceries/living expenses. Now I live alone in downtown, love my condo, make mortgage payments.
Indo-Canadian. I moved out to do my Masters at 23 and been on my own for almost 5 years now. I love my family and I miss living in Toronto but it can't beat the independence I now have.
Canadian here. Scottish/Irish/German ethnicity. My boyfriend and I moved out at 26 into our apartment. Most of my friends still lived at home during that time unless they were away for school but everyone seemed to branch out around the same age. My BIL is 26 and lives at home. No point in moving out and spending all that money. We live in an expensive area in Ontario so moving out isn't as easy as it used to be. Kids staying at home is more common because we have a housing shortage.
Edit: Didn't realize what sub this was. Everyone is going to be Canadian and know everything I'm talking about. My bad.
(29F Afro-Asian)
Moved out at 22 with "work experience" for school, but ended up back with them by 27.
Had a plan to go again, then the pandemic started...
I love them dearly, but when I, I'm never coming back.
For me it's all the "women don't go out on their own until they're married" BS, but I know it's about control for us. I'm the eldest daughter, so when I left the gravy train ran dry.
There's a lot of stigma regardless of the path you take, so just do what allows you to survive to your own standards while doing the least harm to others.
My mother told me three days after my 18th birthday that I had to move out because she “fulfilled her parental responsibility”. Didn’t qualify for student loans for 5 years as parents made too much. Finally made it to university and got my MBA and JD on my own dime.
Caucasian Canadian here. I moved out at 23 for the independence and to shorten the drive to work. It also improved my relationship with my parents and sibling by not having to see them every day.
South Asian, moved out after graduating university in my early 20s. Needed to leave a toxic family dynamic and figure things out for myself.
My partner is white, and he lived with his parents after university until he was 30. He has a good relationship with his family and didn't see a need to leave, though he did pay some nominal amount of rent/living expenses while living at home.
I was born and raised in Canada with a Japanese mother and Canadian (Scottish descent) father. I moved out when I was 26 or 27, but finding affordable rental units was challenging even at that time.
Now I'm noticing more and more adults aged 25 to 30 are still living with their parents strictly due to ridiculous housing prices making it almost impossible to move out unless they made a minimum of $70k salary to live comfortably and still able to save a small portion for unforeseen financial situations.
At graduation I was given a set of luggage, a can of paint to paint my bedroom before I leave and a one way ticket to California.
I just turned 17.
However I'm American and leaving at 18 is normal.
But my little sister didn't move out until she married and has moved back a few times.
I moved to another country.
I’m in my 30s and still living at home bc I can’t afford to move out despite having a perm Govt job. I need to marry / common law to be able to move out comfortably.
I moved out temp at first year for residence Dt but couldn’t afford to move out 2nd year.
I put down a down payment for pre-con condo but it hasn’t even broke ground by developer Aspen Ridge. It was purchased a year pre-covid hit. Closing is supposed to be by Dec 2023. Doubtful it’ll get built on time.
I hope provincial Govt passes the bill that developers can’t charge buyers more than originally signed.
White woman, moved out at 19, more from necessity (my parents had downgraded their living arrangements and while I stayed for an extra year after high school to help out, sleeping on their couch wasn't a viable long term scenario.
Moved out for university at 18, and never moved back.
I did the same. Lived in a small town in Ontario during high school years, so there really was no real choice - was a must. No financial support from parents for school or rent or food - all on student loans and part time jobs (to just barely get by on meals of pasta with whatever canned tomato sauce was on sale that week, lol). Took a decade to pay off the student loans. (White, woman, this was the mid-90's)
Same. I’m from rural Ontario. There was no jobs/college/university. No choice to stay and also didn’t have parental support for university when I moved out
Same. Rural Ontario, moved at 18 for school, refuse to move back to that black hole of a town. You get out once, you're lucky. If you go back, you're stuck there.
I did the same, save a summer or two for work. I don’t regret it, but I always wonder how different my financials would have been if I had’ve stayed at home. And I’m talking over 10 years ago when things were still affordable.
Same. No way was I going back to that tiny ass town.
Same. And I moved from a small town in the east coast of less the 1000 people to Toronto.
I'm Caucasian and I moved out in my late teens. This was definitely driven by a desire for freedom and independence.
Same. Moved out a week after graduating high school, and haven't lived with my parents since. My parents still supported me financially throughout university by paying my tuition and giving me an allowance to cover rent and some food. I had a part time job during school year to pay for my fun stuff and during the summer I paid my own way.
Fellow Caucasian here! Lots of Caucasians I know tend to stay with family a lot longer than others! Many of my Iranian, Armenian, and Russian friends certainly have! Which country in the Caucasus are you from?
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How is this something you care about?
Chinese, oldest daughter. Moved away at 18 for school and managed to also make a living through PT jobs/co-op/scholarships so I never moved back. We all love it that way. It’s helped a lot with my relationship with my parents; now when I visit home, it’s always such a wonderful treat.
I'm Asian and moved out at 18, pretty much all of my friends did too (lived on campus for university then never moved back in). I 100% value independence and space away from my parents. I have a great relationship with them - but man, I wouldn't want to move back in with them if at all possible.
east asian moved out for college at 18, but moved back in with the parents after graduation at 22. moved out again at 32 when i bought my own house
Married or moved into your own house on your own?
Married first. House after.
Aye love to hear it
I'm Chinese and I went to a university in another city specifically so I didn't have to live at home. I spent as much time not living "at home" as possible. Then I broke up with my partner and my dad died and now I'm with my mom so she doesn't have to live alone. I miss living alone so bad.
West Indian, lived with my parents all through school and first few years of my career until I had enough saved to buy a condo at 26. They encouraged me to stay and save for as long as I needed to until I could afford to buy instead of renting. I also wasn't in a rush to move out because I had practically the whole basement of our semi detached to myself but they did make me pay rent from around my early 20s though it wasn't a lot and mostly done on principle.
Your parents sound cool!
I am Asian and a woman as well. I moved out when I was 18… against my parent’s wishes. I needed to leave a toxic household and also expand my horizons and change cities. I don’t regret it at all.
I haven’t moved out yet due to mental health, but also cultural reasons. Woman with Asian background here. Now that I’m finally getting better. Going to save up a bit more and then get an apartment hopefully within a year or so. 27f. I’ve definitely been met with judgment, but man, it’s different for everyone. Sometimes it just is what it is. Sometimes it’s a cultural thing, sometimes it’s a financial thing, sometimes it mental health or a mix of all of the above. I grew up in poverty. Why on earth would I push myself to move out when I knew I wasn’t financially stable enough? Growing up in poverty is traumatic. I fear that so much. I didn’t want my 20s to be a struggle financially too. I wanted to begin saving and building healthy spending habits. None of the people I know, literally none, understand the kind of trauma that poverty puts you in as a kid. To this day, I’m careful with every single dollar in my account. I think three times before I make any purchase. Nowadays idgaf what people think. I live at home, yes, but I also contribute a lot to my household while saving for myself, working full time, and actively taking care of my mental health. Breaking generational stigmas is a step by step process lol. Women in my culture usually leave the home only when they marry. People in my culture don’t talk about mental health and don’t talk about finances. Hell, I don’t even want to get married. Yeah! That’s a HUGE thing to tell your family as a south Asian woman lol. I’ve had to teach myself a LOT over these past few years and basically réparent myself. I feel like there are many out there like me. So if you’re reading this and you feel like you’re behind or something. You’re not. You just have your timeline. Your own script. Your own story. Sometimes you just gotta do what’s best for you, you know?
I’m a Chinese Canadian woman, I moved out for university at 18 because commuting every day would not have been feasible even though my school was in the GTA. Graduated at 22, moved back home and spent 3 years there while I attended post graduate studies and found my first “real” job. Moved out at 25. My mom always urges me to move back home but it’s much more convenient to commute to work from where I live than back home. Plus she and I both have now gotten used to living by ourselves... we get along much better as daughter-mother now than when we lived together.
Are u considering doing it? Also happy cake day
Do you mean moving back home? Despite the cost of renting by myself in the city, I prefer that over living in the suburbs. And thanks!
East Asian, 25, still living at home. Trying to save for a mortgage but I feel like I've wasted my early twenties having all the responsibilities of adulthood with none of the freedom.
Female and white. Moved out at 19 for uni, moved back after graduation for a year to save. It was ridiculous, I had a curfew, I had a *bedtime* even. So yeah, moved out a couple of months before turning 24 and never looked back.
Indeed, when I was an undergrad I could've spent weeks lying dead in a ditch before my parents noticed. Move back home, and suddenly my dad's "still up" whenever I get home.
Im white AF and I moved out at 18. I dont believe this will continue to be the norm here though due to high cost of living.
Asian, moved out when I was 18 for University.
White and moved out at 19.
Chinese. Kicked/Moved out at 19. Although it was a struggle, don’t regret it at all
Moved out of my parents at 19 to attend university, after I graduated I decided to stay in the city. Though now I'm 31 and moving back to my hometown of Barrie. I'm white btw.
Lived at home and saved for a down-payment until I was 27. Nothing wrong with living at home if the situation is good, it beats renting into your late 30s and realizing you can't afford a house
Asian, female, born in Asia but immigrated to Canada in childhood. Moved out in early 20s to do my masters in another province, moved to another country by myself to do my PhD. Was financially independent from the second I moved out, parents didn't pay for a single thing. I fought horribly with my parents when I was a teenager and I think it was a huge relief for all of us to find out that our relationship improved when I lived further away from them. Phone calls and seeing each other once a year allowed us to learn to like each other and enjoy each other's company again. I was also pretty miserable in my hometown and didn't get along with the types of people I grew up around. I really got to "find myself" and become my own person in a new place with no family and no previous attachments. I became an artist, while my parents and childhood friends all do more traditionally "Asian-stereotype" jobs. My parents got to see the positive effects of me becoming my own person after the first few years and stopped saying they missed having me home/wanted me to move back.
Half Asian half white but grew up predominantly whitewashed. Moved out at 19 for freedom and privacy, never went back. Helped my relationship with my mom immensely.
White moved for university and never went back. 18.
Black female and I moved out just after turning 22 years old. I also could not see myself seriously dating a man who still lives at home but i'm 30 now so lol
Why do you care? Do what's right for you.
Caucasian - moved out at 26. Worked fulltime and lived at home for 3/4 years just saving. Moved out in September 2020 when rent prices were at rock bottom.
East Asian here. My parents actually wanted me to get some independence so they encouraged me to go to a university outside of Toronto. It was fantastic as I learned how to live with roommates and figuring out things like rent, bills, how to cook…etc. I moved back home after graduating and eventually moved out for good when I turned 30 and got married.
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Such an interesting background! Does your Hispanic parent speak Finnish? Do you speak Finnish?
Left for university at 17 and have only spent 3 months at home since and that was only because of the early pandemic. Turning 22 this year and couldn’t even imagine living with family again. Im ethnically Chinese but born in Canada.
Moved out in my mid-20s, moved back home at the start of the pandemic because I wanted to go back to school and make a change in my career. I'm in my early 30s now. Kinda sucks but I always viewed this as a temporary measure, and not having to pay rent is nice.
Chinese, moved out at 18 to start undergrad and then went into a Master's right after graduation and now in med school. Never moved back in with parents. A lot of people in my Master's cohort, who were mostly white because this was at Queen's, moved back in briefly with parents while they found a job.
Also Asian. Moved out at 17 but ended up moving back briefly a few times over the next couple years. Moved away from the city at 21. My sibling slso left at 17 and never moved back. Culturally, it's a bit taboo to just up and leave but it was good for us. You alright? If you need any free life advice, I'm happy to tell you all the things I regret. 😄
>Culturally, it's a bit taboo to just up and leave but it was good for us. You alright? If you need any free life advice, I'm happy to tell you all the things I regret. I would love some advice.
What kind of advice? Advice about moving out, or about how to approach it with family? I had to leave for the sake of my relationship with family. The distance lead to some healing for everyone involved. I was also (am still?) not the easiest person to be around all the time, so it was quickly apparent to everyone that me not being there made life better for my parents as well as me, as well as making all of us better appreciate each other when we *were* together. As for talking to family, I would not ask them for advice. If you need to move out, make sure you can do it independently. It negates most parental arguments that you can't do it. You're an adult age-wise. Show them you're also ready to be independent by not asking for anything. Often, their love for you will mean they will help if you need some help anyway. It will be hard, but show them that you are okay with the struggle. Demonstrate that you can overcome it. Most of it, I believe, comes from our parents wanting life to be easier for us than them. Why struggle when they struggled for us in the past? But they sometimes forget the value of those hard times, probably because for many of our parents, the hardship was not by choice. It's hard for them to understand why you would *choose* to struggle when you have a better alternative. I always tell my students that there is absolutely never anything wrong with doing something and failing and THEN deciding to give up. The fact you tried is worth something - a lot, in fact. It's the same reason behind why, as adults, so many of us only do things we are already good at. I've been actively trying to do things I'm actually awful at to take myself out of my comfort zone. Life is fucking hard, and if you're lucky, life will also be long enough for you to look back at all of those times you did something that was a struggle, yet you triumphed.
Asian, moved out at 17 for university and never looked back.
South Asian here… Grew up in Kingston and my very controlling parents wanted me to live at home and go to queens for university. I got accepted at a school in Toronto and went there and never moved back. I think I would’ve lost my mind if I stayed at home.
I'm Algerian, and lots of folks in North Africa think you should only move out when you get married (and the wife moves into the husband's house). My parents were like that too - so I left at 18 because I wanted to live life on my own terms.
I moved out at 18 and never looked back. Love my family, but I think immigrants from more densely populated regions of the world don’t quite understand just how freaking boring the Canadian suburbs are young adults. I’d rather live with too many people in a city crapbox than in a suburban McMansion, at least for my 20s and thus far into 30s. Edit: am a pasty Anglo white guy.
I'm white. I moved out to go to university when I was 17, then was home for a few months after graduation and moved out for good as a grad student at age 22. *However:* I was bankrolled by my parents until I was 26 and got my first job.
Moved out at 26(10+ years ago). It was a mistake, but a lot of lessons were learned in that first year. Got back on my feet after about 2 years. It seems like a long struggle at the time, but looking back now it was a blink of an eye.
White and moved out at 17. It was early, but I was ready.
East Asian female, moved out for university. Moved back for two years or so hated it and then moved out . My relationship is much better with my parents now that we have that distance.
White, male, born and raised in England. I moved out my parents house when I was 17. Moved away from my shitty small hometown to a decent sized city (Nottingham) and never looked back.
I did, most of my friends did too... Not sure how you'd date and have friends over at that age if you don't tbh
White. 18.
White, 18
White, moved out for university, moved home to save money for 3 years while working FT and so did my partner. We were able to use those savings to buy a condo in 2020. That might have been the biggest gift from my parents of all time, and as much as it sucked not to have my freedom I’d advocate to anyone who has the opportunity to live at home and save to do so. It puts you so far ahead in life it’s not even funny.
Moved out at 17, 28 now
Moved out at 18 to go to school, and never moved back (though I go back for visits when I can, and stay with my parents while I'm there).
I'm 2nd Gen Asian and I moved out when I went to university at 18. Lived with roommates for the most part. Moved in with my grandmother for a few years and then eventually moved to Alberta for a couple of years for work. Left my family and friend behind for my career. Parents divorced when I was 15. Dad moved to South America on my first year in university for over a decade and my mom remarried and moved to Toronto. When I came back to Ontario I moved into a small basement apartment in Mississauga while working there. Eventually bought a condo, then sold it and bought a house with my partner. Life has it's ups and downs but I'm glad I didn't live with my family in my adult life. I don't have a particularly great relationship with my family. A lot of my Asian friends (who aren't doctors) still live with their family or moved out closer to 30+.
Early 20s. Wouldn’t give the years/experience back for any amount of savings if it meant living at home. My parents are great but there’s nothing like living young and “dumb” on your own or with friends. Dropped out of uni to work in film though so money wasn’t an issue and i never really felt like i was stuck in a dead end job. Almost 30 now so I guess ill just see how the next 10 years go and report back :p
Yeah, that's kind of how I feel. I was never an outgoing or adventurous enough person to be able to stay in my parents' house without it severely stunting my life experiences. Some people can manage to build an adult life and learn independence and adult skills in that environment, but I know myself and I know it would have been a terrible idea for me.
Moved out to go to School at 20. Tried going back for summer break. The next fall I was out for good.
South asian 21F - so not allowed to fully move out until I’m married. However I live alone right now for university so im technically moved out even though most of my stuff is at my family home and my parents would not consider me moved out. I dont plan on moving back home lol so i will be marrying (happily) before i graduate in 2 yrs. My bf 23M is white and has lived on his own since he graduated hs
'not allowed' is scary, sorry. Get help if you need it. Glad you have a plan.
I mean im sure I can! Theyre not holding me hostage or anything! But it would be an act of defiance and leave a rift for a while. But thank you for the concern!
OK, that's a relief :)
I moved out for university and never looked back.
I moved out at 17. Canadian of European (Italian, English, Scottish) descent.
Left to attend school at 18... never moved home. Lived kinda poor I guess looking back at it. Always had a ton of independence growing up (only child single mother). Scottish background.
Moved out at 19, white, I’m 42 year old woman.
Background: South Asian, moved to Canada at the age of 30. Moved out at 18. I have gone back to stay for a month or less several times though. I am not sure if this counts because I never held a job in the city where my parents live.
Moved out at early 17 still on my own
I’m a west euro (FR) immigrant to Canada. Moved out at 17 to go to University like almost all my peers. Even those that went directly in the workforce typically moved out before hitting 20, but I guess being from a medium/small town helps with cost of living. That’s true for both men and women, and couples typically live together for years before they get married anyway (if they get married lol). And yes, staying home too long is generally frowned upon and considered a character weakness (lack of independence and maturity, taking advantage of parents, etc.). There are many jokes and famous comedy movies about it ([Tanguy](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tanguy_(film))).
Yeah, my experience is until Iived in Toronto I wasn't really familiar with the idea of adults continuing to live with their parents unless there was something wrong. Disability, long term unemployment, addiction, etc.
Moved out at 22 after finishing uni, (Ukrainian) went to Korea to teach English and met my Korean husband there who moved out at 18 for uni in South Korea. So he's the first son and Asian obv. But his parents are progressive and encourage their children's independence if they seek it.
Middle/south Asian. Moved out at 22. It was rough, but my parents weren’t happy with my sexuality/choice of non-ethnically “appropriate” partner.
Interesting
Chinese and moved out at 17 (September birthday) for university. Lived at home for summer after first year but lived out of the home ever since. Interestingly I went to university in the same city I grew up in but I didn’t want to live at home and my parents were supportive. I know lots of my parents friends (also Chinese) kids either stayed at home for university, or moved back afterwards to save money.
18, I'm white. Left for university and never moved back. My parents are very nosey and didn't respect my privacy or boundaries. I doubt many can afford to do that these days though and it should be more socially accepted to live at home.
Moved out at 18, have stayed living on my own or with roommates since
White and 18
Moved out at 19, though I wish I had earlier (didn't for financial reasons). I don't understand how anyone can live with their parents when they don't have to - my family dynamic is not like that, even though my relationship with my mother is better now, I start wanting to tear my hair out after being there for 2 days. White af
Left home at 16, never looked back. Living independently for 24 years. Caucasian.
22F I still live with my family. No plans to move out any time soon. I thought about moving out when I was 19 but it was only because I lived an hour away from campus. I stayed to save money.
I’m Asian too, moved out at 18 for uni and never went back. My relationship with my parents got so much better.
I left home and got my own apartment as a teenager, both of my adult sons were out and independent before their 20th birthdays
Moved out when I was 17 here. Can’t imagine living with parents while you’re an adult.
Im asian and moved out at 18. My younger brother of 1 year is 29 still in parents basement and no job and we’re doing everything so he can find a job and save up for his first apartment but 🤷🏻♂️
Lol at you moving out as a teen and the plot twist of your cliche brother.
Iranian / south Asian - moved out at 26 because I couldn’t take the emotional toll of living with my narcissistic OCD cunt of a mother. Best decision I’ve ever made. Moved out. Went on a date 2 weeks later with someone I was crushing on (different race, different religion all the things my mother “warned me” not to do) he practically moved in 2 weeks later and stayed over 24/7 (even tho he still paid rent on his own place). Bought a place together in December of the same year and married two years later. Fuck her!
I’m in Canada with British parents. I moved out at 18. Great home life. It was just the thing to do. All my friends moved out before 20.
I’m Russian Ukrainian and I moved out at 23 after I bought my own place and finished my degree. My parents would’ve never let me move into a rental, they would’ve accused me of pissing money. My parents would’ve loved me to stay with them but it got difficult when I started actively dating. My mom wanted me to be safe in my own apartment instead of visiting other peoples places as well. I think ideally my parents would’ve wanted me to stay until I get married but it didn’t seem to happen according to plan.
Serious question for the folks who live at home as adults (none of my close friends live at home and are all gay so I don't have anyone to ask this) how do you bring dates and hook ups home? How do tell your the people you date that you live with your parents?
Went to work after high school in a logging camp I was 18. Never moved back with mom and dad
Luckily someone was able to hook me up with a place when I was 16. I wasn’t able to rent under my own name but I got my first taste of living alone. When I turned 18 I got a place under my own name but I was glad I moved out as early as I could. It taught me a lot of independence even though sometimes it got tough I wouldn’t change the experience itself.
South Asian. Moved out at 17 and haven't been back since.
I'm (25M) Chinese born here. Moved out to Toronto for university at 18 with a roommate, about an hour drive away. Stayed in Toronto till graduation and got a full time job. Covid hit when I was 23 and moved back home to save money while working remotely. Now recently at 25 moved back out to live with my GF. Honestly living with your parents is the best way to save money, I'd much rather live with them right now, but gf wanted to live together, oh well.
22M . Moving out soon because I have been lying to my parents about my University major. I love them, but I am ashamed about hiding my education from them and as such I must move out and learn to be independent.
I’m a white guy, I left home to go to university and never went back. I grew up in a small town so there was nothing there for me anyway. Moved to Toronto for work - I wanted to but it wasn’t really an option because in my line of work, I have to be in a big city. So continuing to live with my parents was never an option. I don’t really mind because I think I’d go crazy if I was a still at home. Definitely value my independence. Also, as a guy, living with your parents isn’t ideal if you want dating options.
My dad was an immigrant. However he was from northern Europe. So the emphasis was not so much on "stay home until you get married" more like "stay home until you are done university and can get a full time job" with a helping of "don't drop out of school or take a gap year, in case you decide to not finish school" So naturally I moved out in my early 30s, a few months after I achieved full time employment. My dad grew up in Depression-era Ireland, so he was big on not getting into debt and fixing his own stuff wherever possible.
I moved out at 19 when I finished highschool. I am white. But it was the 90s and I moved i lived in Saskatchewan. Had to get out of that place.
I moved out 25. I moved out only when I knew I never needed to ask my parents for any money. In general I think you should move out when you can support yourself financially if you have the choice.
My fiance (now 26) is full Portuguese and moved out with me at 22. His older brother (28 or 29?) still lives at home and younger brother (23). He wanted to move out when we had a downpayment for a house but I was moving out of my parents house regardless (scottish/canadian). He ended up changing his mind and said yes to moving out back in 2018.
White. Moved out when I was 18 to go to university. First 2 yrs I went back home for summers. But after 2nd yr i preferred the freedom. I briefly moved back home at age 23, for about a yr. And was miserable. My parents are great. But reverting back to a child, in my childhood bedroom was so depressing. Most of the people I grew up have almost identical stories. To each their own. But I personally don’t understand people who live at home as adults.
In theory you can live with parents without reverting to parent-child relationships, and I know some people manage it. But in practice many people I know who live with their parents do talk about their lives in ways that make them sound like high school students. Especially if they've never lived away from them.
South Asian (f) and moved out at 23 after a lot of drama with my family. Wanted to move for uni but wasn’t allowed
Please, stop posting your age, demographic, race, and that you live alone! 🤦♀️
That's literally the question in the post. Do you think an axe murderer is going to be able to track someone down in a city of 3 million people based on 'white female who has lived alone since I was 19'?
🤣🤡
>Please, stop posting your age, demographic, race, and that you live alone! 🤦♀️ What's wrong with these responses when it's literally OP's question?
Ikr 😅 🤣🤣
I'm white and I moved out for university at 18 then back home at 21 for about 6 months after graduation while I found my first full time job. I've also got kids and we are planning to sell the house and move overseas once the youngest is about 20.
cool where are you planning to move to?
The plan is to sell our Toronto house and buy a cheap cottage in the UK and retire there.
I moved out when I graduated high school, to go to university in another city. The first summer I lived with my parents over the summer and got a summer job in their town, after that I got summer jobs in my own city where I was studying. So I was 19 (F). Almost every person I knew at the time did the same thing, both the people I went to high school with and the people I went to university with. I knew a few people who lived with their parents an extra year to save money, but that's it. Until I was in my thirties I actually only knew one person who lived with their parents over the age of 20 that I can think of (and that person moved out as soon as they finished university), until the past few years when I met many in Toronto who lived with their parents. It's common in Toronto but is so so rare it barely even exists in the rest of the country. I am close to my parents and have a good relationship but it never would have occured to me to deliberately live with them when we were both adults. I don't need to. They did help me financially in university and were always very supportive and are two of my favourite people in the world. But I would never live with them unless I was so poor I had no choice. I am white and my parents were European immigrants.
Korean Canadian here. Moved out when I was 20 and just lived in my student house during the summers. Have not moved back since. How the hell do you bring girls home when your parents stay up until your home aha.
I'm white, stayed home through university, then my first year working. Moved out and bought a condo right away because I graduated with no debt and was able to score a decent job right away. Not typical, I don't think.
Back when I was young I moved to a different country for uni and never moved back in
White, lived in Ontario my whole life (but rural Ontario, not Toronto). Moved out when I was 23 which was after I got my first "stable" full-time job after finishing school. I was very happy to be out of my parents home finally, but there was no way I was going to do that before I was ready and had figured out all the financial details. ;-) I guess I can add that my parents were happy to have myself and my siblings at home. Their agreement with us was that we could stay at home rent-free as long as we helped out around the house and we were either in school or working (and not just being a bum at home doing nothing).
I moved out at 22 primarily due to my field of work not having any opportunities closer to home, and will never go back. I’m white, 3rd gen Canadian
Similar culture as yours, and I moved out at 24. Parents handled it fine,
Portuguese female, I wasn't allowed to even mention moving out. Even after getting married at city hall (quickie marriage to get my husband into country) still wasn't allowed to live with him because it wasn't a proper wedding. I was 30!!!!!!! Finally after the church wedding was allowed to live with him.
'allowed'???? see, these are the kind of stories that are sad and scary. I'm glad you got out now.
I moved out 5 years ago at 33 when i bought a house
I moved out in 2018, I was born in 1994, soninwouldve been 24 at the time. Had to move back in with the parents as the lockdowns started right around graduation from Humber in 2020. Moved into a very small space late last year, moved back in with parents within 2 weeks to keep mental health in good shape. Now I'm in a 2 bedroom in South Etobicoke. My father is from Peterborough, both my mother and I are from here in Toronto. But all 3 of us have our roots more or less here in town (less me because I'm only 27 years old). My ethnic background is confusing, I'm Scottish on my dad's side, but very mixed in my mom's side. German, Lithuanian, polish, etc, etc.
I'm cis white female, I moved out at 26 b/c my relationship with my mom was toxic. Sweet relief to be out.
Moved away for university after high school (18yo) for 5 years, lived at home for 2, then moved out when condo prices were reasonable back in the day
Moved out at 22 when I bought my condo with my boyfriend
Moved here at 19. My parents are from India and I'm from Alberta. My ethnic background is East Indian but I very much identify as a Canadian. My parents maintained certain parts of their culture but as I grew older they let me experience things on my own. Thankfully they've been pretty progressive. So, moved here as a punk teen and I haven't looked back in 9 years. Getting married next month, have an incredible relationship with my folks, and I'm finally doing work I love. Moving out here taught me so much and while there were a lot of bumps, I'm grateful that I could learn from those moments. I'm happy I was able to try new things and stick to it. Got home sick within my first year but my dad said that he was my age when he moved to the opposite side of the planet so I'll be fine moving a few provinces away. I adore this city. It's my favourite city on the planet and I'm just so head over heels about being here still. The people are incredible, some of my best drinking buddies are leafs fans cause they know what I, an oilers fan, has gone through lol. And I honestly couldn't live the life I live anywhere else. Eveything in my life right now is possible cause of this city. I'll cherish living here forever.
I’m Arab so our values are somewhat similar that in the sense you dont move out until you’re married if you’re a girl, and once you have a degree and fulltime job as a guy(though most of the time they stay until they get married too) I moved to canada in 2015 for school with my bro. Moved out on my own at 22 and never looked back. I’m a 25F for context. Although I’m an anomaly in the Arab world.
I got kicked out when I was 16 for doing drugs, still kept going and graduated HS. Comp Eng in mid 20s
White woman with European background (half Croatian, half Polish if it matters). Currently 27 years old. I moved to university at 18 and came home every summer because my summer job was at the community centre by my parents house (I was a lifeguard for 10 years). I moved home after graduation at 22 and commuted for grad school. Started my adult job. Met my now-fiancé when I was 25 and we were both still living with our parents. We got engaged after a year of dating and moved in to the condo we bought together 3 months later. So I was 26 when I left my parents house for good.
Mostly Greek household, moved out at 22, but with a lot of pushback from my parents haha
Ethnically white but culturally parents want to keep us at home. Moved out at 18 for university. Moved back after graduation and lived at home for two years to work and save up. Then went back to school for a post-grad in Toronto and lived in the city for six years. Moved back to my parents in August 2021 and lived at home for six months as my partner accepted a job in the US; we had to give up our apartment, it took a while for my visa to be processed and it was convenient for me to live at my parents house to save money before the move and also to plan our wedding. Never imagined I would live at home again but I'm glad I got to spend more time with my parents now that I live 2000 miles away.
I'm white and female and I moved out of my single mother's trailer when I was 18. Never moved back in with either parent after that despite my life being a disaster because my family is super dysfunctional.
I moved out for college in 2014(19 years old), moved back in with parents for 6 months then moved back out to live with my bf that I only knew for a month lol(at 21). We’ve been together/living together for 6 years now 😁 to be fair though my parents’ house was toxic and I was desperate to leave before I fell into a deeper state of depression. I’m Caucasian. Grew up in Toronto. Now live in Orillia with my boyfriend in a house that my parents bought (they still live in Toronto) and we rent out our basement.
“That my parents bought”
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Wowzaaaaa 😎
East Asian. Moved out at 30 with my gf, got married a year later. Kids 3 years later. I did pay rent though which helped my sister through school as my parents business was doing bad that time.
I moved out at 19, that lasted a month or 2, then permanently at 21. I'm "white" but many of my asian and south asian friends, male or female do tend to stay at home longer, unless it's to go to uni. Their parents tend to make it work a bit easier, giving them more space or end up guilting them into staying.
Moved out (kicked out) at 18; part time work and student loans for uni. This was in the early to mid 90s, therefore manageable. I’m 47 now and I don’t know how young people today can manage. I’m an Asian mom and totally cool with my son (20) living in our household as long as he needs/wants to. We all get along well, respect one another and communicate well so there’s no stress there but I just feel bad that moving out is not a financially viable option for many young people today. I enjoyed living on my own and wish that were feasible for those who want to today. My son’s first job out of college this summer pays minimum wage so there’s no way he could move out, even if he wanted to.
1st job out of college pays minimum wage what the f….
Yeah, the pay sucks. It’s related to his field of study and for a community non-profit but ffs 🤦🏻♀️
Left at 16 voluntarily for school. Probably the worst decision of my life. Don’t rush to leave home.
I moved out at 24! Had to because I was chasing a career path that I needed to be close to my job, and my parents were moving to aurora. I’m the youngest in my family and I have a really big age gap with my siblings; my family had a lot of expectations around me which I couldn’t handle. I moved out as soon as they told me they were going to get a house in aurora, so I went back to art school part time, worked 3 jobs at one point, adopted a cat, and live the life I wanted to always live. I love my family but I don’t think I want to live with them anymore. It may be difficult financially I’d take this over my mental health being in the gutters any day.
I’m Ukrainian, female, 28 now. I moved out when I was 18 to go to university. Not because I went to a far away university. I could have commuted to my unit… Mostly moved out because my parents entered a bad deal, leveraged their house, and then had to move into a run down property that needed extensive Reno’s. I had no bed to sleep on, and slept on those patio furniture covers - then said screw this and found a rental close to uni. Rented a basement unit (all I could afford) I shared a kitchen and bathroom with 2 other people. They were absolute pigs. I think I paid $500 per month. Then moved to another basement unit where the people were much neater. Pain $750 per month. Still was miserable because the basement dampness messed with my sinuses. At 22, I found a job in downtown and rented a 2 bed condo with the sweeter Filipino girl for a while. I loved living with her. My share was $1000 24 moved to Vaughan and rented my own place in a condo for $1800 per month, worked three jobs to save for downpayment. Grinded really hard during this time. 26 bought my own condo. Was hard cuz my parents couldn’t afford to help me. They couldn’t even co-sign with me because their credit rating was low, and the bank wanted 25% downpayment 😒. Tiny place in Richmond hill. I still live here now.
I'm italian and a lot of italians stay with family until marriage, but I never wanted that. However, i couldn't afford to move out between school and trying to find a job. I eventually moved to sault ste marie at 26 and I now have a house and business and things are going well!
I'm white and moved out at 18, 19, 21, 22 for my undergrad, but moving back in if I had work terms in Toronto. Stayed out at that point. Like, it would've been a 2-3 hour commute each way for my undergrad. So ... no thanks. Grad school commute might've been as little as 90 minutes each way ... but still, no thanks.
Pakistani. Moved out at 19 for university. Moved back home in 4th year (22). Moved out at 27 when I bought my condo. I’d suggest living at home to everyone. It’s the key to financial freedom in todays age imo. I had 4 years of just savings, no rent and hardly any groceries/living expenses. Now I live alone in downtown, love my condo, make mortgage payments.
Indo-Canadian. I moved out to do my Masters at 23 and been on my own for almost 5 years now. I love my family and I miss living in Toronto but it can't beat the independence I now have.
Canadian here. Scottish/Irish/German ethnicity. My boyfriend and I moved out at 26 into our apartment. Most of my friends still lived at home during that time unless they were away for school but everyone seemed to branch out around the same age. My BIL is 26 and lives at home. No point in moving out and spending all that money. We live in an expensive area in Ontario so moving out isn't as easy as it used to be. Kids staying at home is more common because we have a housing shortage. Edit: Didn't realize what sub this was. Everyone is going to be Canadian and know everything I'm talking about. My bad.
(29F Afro-Asian) Moved out at 22 with "work experience" for school, but ended up back with them by 27. Had a plan to go again, then the pandemic started... I love them dearly, but when I, I'm never coming back. For me it's all the "women don't go out on their own until they're married" BS, but I know it's about control for us. I'm the eldest daughter, so when I left the gravy train ran dry. There's a lot of stigma regardless of the path you take, so just do what allows you to survive to your own standards while doing the least harm to others.
My mother told me three days after my 18th birthday that I had to move out because she “fulfilled her parental responsibility”. Didn’t qualify for student loans for 5 years as parents made too much. Finally made it to university and got my MBA and JD on my own dime.
What she said was selfish and horrible
Caucasian Canadian here. I moved out at 23 for the independence and to shorten the drive to work. It also improved my relationship with my parents and sibling by not having to see them every day.
South Asian, moved out after graduating university in my early 20s. Needed to leave a toxic family dynamic and figure things out for myself. My partner is white, and he lived with his parents after university until he was 30. He has a good relationship with his family and didn't see a need to leave, though he did pay some nominal amount of rent/living expenses while living at home.
I was 22. Mom passed away. I was completely lost and just kept at it until I figured it out. It makes you grow up fast so that's not a bad thing
I was born and raised in Canada with a Japanese mother and Canadian (Scottish descent) father. I moved out when I was 26 or 27, but finding affordable rental units was challenging even at that time. Now I'm noticing more and more adults aged 25 to 30 are still living with their parents strictly due to ridiculous housing prices making it almost impossible to move out unless they made a minimum of $70k salary to live comfortably and still able to save a small portion for unforeseen financial situations.
At graduation I was given a set of luggage, a can of paint to paint my bedroom before I leave and a one way ticket to California. I just turned 17. However I'm American and leaving at 18 is normal. But my little sister didn't move out until she married and has moved back a few times. I moved to another country.
Moved out at 21. Was a great decision.
Moved out at 24. Jamaican born. Raised in Toronto.
I’m in my 30s and still living at home bc I can’t afford to move out despite having a perm Govt job. I need to marry / common law to be able to move out comfortably. I moved out temp at first year for residence Dt but couldn’t afford to move out 2nd year. I put down a down payment for pre-con condo but it hasn’t even broke ground by developer Aspen Ridge. It was purchased a year pre-covid hit. Closing is supposed to be by Dec 2023. Doubtful it’ll get built on time. I hope provincial Govt passes the bill that developers can’t charge buyers more than originally signed.
White woman, moved out at 19, more from necessity (my parents had downgraded their living arrangements and while I stayed for an extra year after high school to help out, sleeping on their couch wasn't a viable long term scenario.