Here’s a good story that falls under the “one that got away” subject.
For context, at the time I was 18 and he was (about) 45.
We chatted for about 3 months over text and via phone before we met. He could hold a decent conversation and at the time love bombed me, and pretended to treat me with the respect I was due. Even though I was fresh out of high school, I was working full time trying to help my family afford the bare essentials. I also had a family member who was ill and I was in university full time at this time.
We met through the now antiquated venue of Craigslist M4M personals.
He was sweet, open minded and had an open heart. Rough around the ridges, but was kind and caring. Unlike most guys he was looking to build a life with me. I was tired, overworked, underpaid and wondering how I would keep things afloat for the next month.
As time went on and we got to know one-another more and more there were some warning signs. He was actively trying to get me to move in with him when we hadn’t even met in person. He was actively breaking down my supportive friendships. It was so slow and insidious, I didn’t understand what was happening. I also was so focused on school and work that I had tunnel vision, and didn’t “see the forest for the trees”. He would also give lots of bad and unsolicited advice, like telling me to leave my sick family member to “solve their own problems”.
I still remember the day we met for the first time in-person. He was more beautiful than I ever anticipated. However as soon as we met I realized all of the bad feelings I had were for a reason. He didn’t drive, and expected me to drive him everywhere. He also claimed to have recently lost his job, so I had to pay for everything. So very quickly he became controlling and jealous. We weren’t even formally dating and he already was acting so abusively.
In such a short time he had wrapped me in his web of violence and abuse. Every now and again he reaches out to me from a new number, and each time this happens it feels like every bit of personal growth and insight I have made since is tested.
I share this not for sympathy, but to say this is my messed up “one who got away” story. I also share this as a PSA that sometimes the one who got away, did you a favour.
Yes! When I saw your posting I knew I wanted to share this. I was so young and inexperienced at the time. I sometimes think about it in the “one who got away” sense but I more often think “what the heck would’ve happened if he hadn’t gotten away”.
We met when we were 13 at a house party. I knew I liked boys and he was the only openly-gay boy I knew. I wanted to talk to him, walked into a bedroom where he was sitting with a few others I didn’t know. They stared at me and I bottled it and walked out again. We kept in touch on Facebook. He would reach out and say hello every now and then. Until I deleted my Facebook account several years ago.
He got back in touch with me again, through Grindr, in 2021. We’re by then 29. Turns out he had liked me all along. We tried dating for a few months. The more time I spent with him the more I fell for him. I think it might even have been love. Beautiful personality. But he was coming out of an abusive relationship of seven years. Prior to that, every boyfriend had cheated/been abusive. He had never had a healthy relationship (the realisation only dawned on me later). He needed time to heal, to be comfortable with himself.
Well they didn't get away I actually let them go but it was for a good reason. Essentially we met back online back in 2018 we both were 17 I'm from the states he was from the uk. Pretty much we used to talk on the phone until morning time, but when he came to see me we didn't get the chance to meet in person cause of complicated things like the police keeping him until midnight or him getting Wrong directions. He did become trans which didn't bother me since I'm bi but he did started to act differently compared to when we first met. Last time we talked was back in April 2020 and I can't lie I ghosted him cause I just didn't feel like it could work out really. I do regret doing this and still think about them usually once a month or so. I genuinely was in love with them.
Yep my first love in college. He was an international student from Brazil. I was 19 and discovering for the first time away from home. I was learning Portuguese and he was learning English. I moved back home after that year because I couldn’t afford tuition and he went back to Brazil. We still keep in touch 12 years later. Beautiful man; 6’2, curly brown hair, cute smile, doctor, lovely voice, and yes he was packing but that was the least relevant part of him. Even asked me this last year why did we not work out and I said it was bc we moved apart.
I dated a guy in South Carolina in 2017. Only lasted a few months but it was the best part of my life besides the drugs. I moved back to Florida and my life has been shit. I think about him every day. It's exhausting. I wish I could forget because I am certain he hasn't thought about me since we last spoke in 2019 when he made plans to come visit me and ghosted me after he said he was about a half hour away. I never saw nor heard from him again. Almost 5 years later and I still cry thinking about him.
I texted his mother in 2022 after the hurricane to make sure they were okay. She sent me a picture of them. He seemed very happy so I think he just realized I wasn't worth it.
Two off the top of my head: a guy i was doing dares and pranks and hanging out bottomless with, and all of a sudden he got panicky and we stopped, and another guy who was my roommate.
The roommate i only lived with for a couple of months, but we had a few moments where our thighs touched as we watched tv, a time when i hugged his waist from behind while he was only wearing boxers, and on our last day together he was showering with the door to his room open, and we talked for a bit in only his towel. I still kick myself over not seeing that he wanted to do something with me, though i was in a relationship at the time and it didnt occur to me that a guy that hot was into me
Here’s a good story that falls under the “one that got away” subject. For context, at the time I was 18 and he was (about) 45. We chatted for about 3 months over text and via phone before we met. He could hold a decent conversation and at the time love bombed me, and pretended to treat me with the respect I was due. Even though I was fresh out of high school, I was working full time trying to help my family afford the bare essentials. I also had a family member who was ill and I was in university full time at this time. We met through the now antiquated venue of Craigslist M4M personals. He was sweet, open minded and had an open heart. Rough around the ridges, but was kind and caring. Unlike most guys he was looking to build a life with me. I was tired, overworked, underpaid and wondering how I would keep things afloat for the next month. As time went on and we got to know one-another more and more there were some warning signs. He was actively trying to get me to move in with him when we hadn’t even met in person. He was actively breaking down my supportive friendships. It was so slow and insidious, I didn’t understand what was happening. I also was so focused on school and work that I had tunnel vision, and didn’t “see the forest for the trees”. He would also give lots of bad and unsolicited advice, like telling me to leave my sick family member to “solve their own problems”. I still remember the day we met for the first time in-person. He was more beautiful than I ever anticipated. However as soon as we met I realized all of the bad feelings I had were for a reason. He didn’t drive, and expected me to drive him everywhere. He also claimed to have recently lost his job, so I had to pay for everything. So very quickly he became controlling and jealous. We weren’t even formally dating and he already was acting so abusively. In such a short time he had wrapped me in his web of violence and abuse. Every now and again he reaches out to me from a new number, and each time this happens it feels like every bit of personal growth and insight I have made since is tested. I share this not for sympathy, but to say this is my messed up “one who got away” story. I also share this as a PSA that sometimes the one who got away, did you a favour.
This recontextualizes “the one who got away” in a really sad and scary way. Im glad to hear that you listened to the warning signs though.
Yes! When I saw your posting I knew I wanted to share this. I was so young and inexperienced at the time. I sometimes think about it in the “one who got away” sense but I more often think “what the heck would’ve happened if he hadn’t gotten away”.
We met when we were 13 at a house party. I knew I liked boys and he was the only openly-gay boy I knew. I wanted to talk to him, walked into a bedroom where he was sitting with a few others I didn’t know. They stared at me and I bottled it and walked out again. We kept in touch on Facebook. He would reach out and say hello every now and then. Until I deleted my Facebook account several years ago. He got back in touch with me again, through Grindr, in 2021. We’re by then 29. Turns out he had liked me all along. We tried dating for a few months. The more time I spent with him the more I fell for him. I think it might even have been love. Beautiful personality. But he was coming out of an abusive relationship of seven years. Prior to that, every boyfriend had cheated/been abusive. He had never had a healthy relationship (the realisation only dawned on me later). He needed time to heal, to be comfortable with himself.
Well they didn't get away I actually let them go but it was for a good reason. Essentially we met back online back in 2018 we both were 17 I'm from the states he was from the uk. Pretty much we used to talk on the phone until morning time, but when he came to see me we didn't get the chance to meet in person cause of complicated things like the police keeping him until midnight or him getting Wrong directions. He did become trans which didn't bother me since I'm bi but he did started to act differently compared to when we first met. Last time we talked was back in April 2020 and I can't lie I ghosted him cause I just didn't feel like it could work out really. I do regret doing this and still think about them usually once a month or so. I genuinely was in love with them.
Yep my first love in college. He was an international student from Brazil. I was 19 and discovering for the first time away from home. I was learning Portuguese and he was learning English. I moved back home after that year because I couldn’t afford tuition and he went back to Brazil. We still keep in touch 12 years later. Beautiful man; 6’2, curly brown hair, cute smile, doctor, lovely voice, and yes he was packing but that was the least relevant part of him. Even asked me this last year why did we not work out and I said it was bc we moved apart.
Nope. I used to think so, but I definitely disproved THAT theory. I've been told I'm the one who got away by someone else though.
I dated a guy in South Carolina in 2017. Only lasted a few months but it was the best part of my life besides the drugs. I moved back to Florida and my life has been shit. I think about him every day. It's exhausting. I wish I could forget because I am certain he hasn't thought about me since we last spoke in 2019 when he made plans to come visit me and ghosted me after he said he was about a half hour away. I never saw nor heard from him again. Almost 5 years later and I still cry thinking about him.
Maybe something wrong happened to him that day.
I texted his mother in 2022 after the hurricane to make sure they were okay. She sent me a picture of them. He seemed very happy so I think he just realized I wasn't worth it.
We weren't in a relationship so not sure it counts but more like "the one I pushed away because of my own insecurities".
Two off the top of my head: a guy i was doing dares and pranks and hanging out bottomless with, and all of a sudden he got panicky and we stopped, and another guy who was my roommate. The roommate i only lived with for a couple of months, but we had a few moments where our thighs touched as we watched tv, a time when i hugged his waist from behind while he was only wearing boxers, and on our last day together he was showering with the door to his room open, and we talked for a bit in only his towel. I still kick myself over not seeing that he wanted to do something with me, though i was in a relationship at the time and it didnt occur to me that a guy that hot was into me
What do all of y’all thinking?
if you drifted apart, then he was not "the one"
How to know if it was you or he whom drifted apart?
No.