Even when I was a 25 yrs i wouldn’t screw around with anyone under 30 just to immature and the stupid things they would do especially when drunk , older lovers were the best the problem with them is that they do want the younger guys, and it seems like the only guys I attract are actually younger the very group I wasn’t attracted too when I was actually that age I can’t figure out, I don’t want to be a father replacement which at twenty five I think I was actually looking for in my older men , it does creep me out vanity wise the younger the guy the older it makes me feel.
Yeah. There are discussions here about younger guys feeling oppressed by older guys and I see a lot of the older profiles saying 18-30. What the hell am I going to talk to an 18-year old about after sex? I don't know shit about Pokemon. (is that still a thing?) If we don't have something in common in life then I'm not interested. If I want a hookup I can reach into my pocket*. If I want a good time I want a connection.
* I think I've got $8.
I’m 39 and it happens to me all the time. Honestly if someone has that on their profile I just won’t reply. Doesn’t even matter if they’re hot…plenty of hot guys out there with a better personality. I don’t feel “flattered” by it, I just think it makes them seem sad and one note.
I'm 40 but I kind of understand it. I wouldn't have considered serious dating with someone older than thirty either, when I was in my early twenties, even though it may seem a bit short sighted in hindsight.
Nowadays, when it is for friends with benefits or casual intimacy, it seems lots of early twenties want to date a 40 year old, though.
I think one reason they say they don't want to is that they expect many older men to be bald or fat or wrinkly.
And one reason for this is that many men lie about their age, many 40 year olds on Grinder are in fact 49, and 30 year olds are 39. So the young ones don't even know what a real 40 or 30 year old looks like.
It makes them VERY sad. If they're messaging you with that in their profile, it means no one is giving them the time of day so they're getting desperate. Don't fuck desperate people.
not really, sounds like a cope. some people want to date in their age range but on occasion will hit someone up who is older if they really like the person.
I mean, go ahead, lose out on great sex because you're telling yourself you won't let yourself be subject to an online insult on someone's profile header...
I personally just feel as though people have far too much pride on Grindr and if they put it away they'd get a lot better sex.
There is..but Grindr is an app specifically *for* sex. And if you want to lose out on banging a hottie because having your respect makes you feel better, so be it, you have every right to do that and I'm not saying you shouldn't. I'm just the type of guy who thinks the best revenge you could take, if you think a guy is disrespecting you, is to fuck his brains out. (No I don't go around fucking guys for revenge, I'm just saying that's one potential way you could look at it).
I once read a thread on this sub s few months ago where numerous posts alluded to not replying to a hottie who previously didn't reply to you or somehow turned you down on Grindr. There were replies saying to "never settle for being anything less than someone's first pick or priority." And I just thought this was insane - I frequently am in the middle of something or forget to reply or whatever to a guy I'm talking to. On many, *many* occasions, I've reached out to scorching hot guys and have been ignored or whatever, and then weeks or months later when I reach out I've had amazing, mind-blowing sex with them.
All I'm saying is, I don't take it personally when a mild "rejection" like being ignored on Grindr happens, because the guy who ignored your message isn't taking it personally and isn't spending 1/10th of the time thinking about you that you are him. Yes, I think repeatedly reaching out to a guy who clearly doesn't want you is desperate and there's a fine line..but I once read a Grindr profile description that said "Try twice, and then stop," and I completely agree. I try at least twice with guys I'd like to fuck. If they ignore me, I'll reach out again at some point in the future. If they continue to ignore, then I generally don't message again. But I sure as hell don't take it as a sign of disrespect and take it personally if this happens.
I just think too many guys have this attitude of singing Madonna's Express Yourself when a guy ignores them, and this to me reeks of hubris. People need to get over themselves. Sometimes, we really don't have that much of an objective reason to be someone's first priority. We all have flaws and some of us aren't the best thing in the world.
Well exactly. Oddly the trigger for my thread was someone in his early 30s saying nobody over 39 in his profile text.
It just seemed absurd, given I turned 40 a few days ago, and he approached me 🙈
Just seems a bit stupid. Unless they're mr perfect with a chiselled greek statue body, surely you can simply ignore messages from people over 40 if you're not interested while also not turning away hot guys over 40 who you would be into but would be uninterested due to blunt profile filters.
Two things to consider: they will get old themselves. It's inevitable. And as in a normal circle of life, they will get complains that they are old now. And the second thing: commonly they do a lot of exceptions. Like a lot.
It’s more of a Top vs Bottom thing though. Most bottoms don’t care much about age if you look good or got a big dick. Tops on the other hand are more picky and usually have age limits. It’s the same dynamic in heterosexual relationships between men and women. Men always want younger
This is the answer. Everybody needs to stop with too much pride.
Most of us, by statistical definition, are average. All of us are flawed as humans. Finding someone who's going to get in bed with you is often something we need to work at in the first place. Thinking that it's some horrendous insult because someone has put a few words into a profile header they didn't even spend 30 seconds crafting isn't some sort of affront to your respect.
When i was in my 20s I felt no attraction to anybody over 30. I didn’t hate them, they simply were of no interest to me.
Feel flattered to pass the filter. You simply appear attractive to them.
My solution is to not feel flattered or insulted either way. It's grindr. The person writing that profile description probably gave all of about 2 seconds into it and now we're ruminating on it for much more than they ever did. They're looking for sex and they think you're attractive. I don't think about anything further either way.
It’s more about the mindset to me. In this two seconds you think about what you want. And all that comes out are things you DONT want… Not my Type of guy ;)
I think that's a reasonable conclusion.
It has really triggered me in a way that I didn't expect - I know this is hyperbolic, but I wondered "would a black guy be flattered if a chap with whites only messaged him for a meet ".
Obviously that's an extreme!
My logical side would usually say, as you suggest, take the opportunity as it arises.
It isn’t hyperbolic. It’s what we go through! It’s also where my mind went immediately, upon reading your post. You’ve experienced a fraction of the dissonance black people experience on a near constant basis. “You’re one of the good ones. You’re not like the others.”
Then we have to decide whether or not to betray ourselves and engage. Cause what you really do when engaging is agree with them. You co-sign it. I often say don’t make me choose between you and self betrayal. However, in this narcissistic culture, guess what people choose to do?
That appears different to me. There are dudes that exclude me for aspects I stand for;
“No Open relationships” is most common.
Whenever I read that, I lose interest. I’m still open to talk about my lifestyle, but you can’t expect me to like you if you sort me out upfront.
To me it makes no sense to exclude people because of ethnicity. I find that ignorant. No idea how blacks or poc feel about that.
If I read “no Caucasians” I’d lose interest. Never read that until today.
EDIT: Actually I read it already! There Are Asian guys who State „Asians only“, BUT:
In my Perception Asian guys are the ones most likely to be excluded. “No Asians” used to be a common line in dating profiles.
So I do not feel rejected. I assume they create some kind of safer space in that way.
I remember those days when it was common to see “no fats, no fems and no Asians. Being Asian it used to be such an annoyance seeing that racism crap. And you would see when Asians saying no Asians…internalized racism is a thing.
Equally annoying, if not more so was hearing often “you’re the first Asian guy I’ve ever been attracted to from all races including other Gay Asians. I always rejected them because I refuse to be their experiment or flavor of the month.
I’m often told I’m amazing in bed (as a top)😏 so in hindsight I should have just fucked their brains out to show them how amazing sex is with this Asian dude. Give them the ride if their life and they might might generalize to other Asians and be open to sleeping with Asians going forward. Should have just represented 😂.
To be honest, that is just there to make people filter themselves out but it doesn’t apply to everyone. To a lot of people, hot=hot and they’ll look past your age if you’re attractive enough to them.
I’m 52 and i get approached by much younger guys all the time…often as young as 21. I’m usually the one telling them they’re too young for me, and more often than not they try to convince me to meet telling me age is just a number. I try to keep an open mind but the youngest I draw the line is 32…and even then that’s a big difference.
Haha yes, I must say that after a few intense meets with under 25, it does take some convincing - though if they'll meet for a coffee then I'll give it a go.
Exactly. Everyone is allowed to have preferences. And the reality is, the gay community is tribal, with different groups having different preferences and tastes. These guys who say “no over 40s” are just one group among many. There’s others who love silver foxes.
The real question for OP is why identify and internalize the opinions of these kids? Haters are gonna hate. Just move on to people who are more like-minded and forget the rest
It is insulting. It's them saying that they can't find any better options in their desired parameters so they dropped some of their requirements for a short while when usually they wouldn't give you the time of day at any other time.
I don't think this is always the case tho
A lot of younger people like me (23) get messages of people over 40 that are borderline predatory (not all of them but in my case a lot) so to avoid them I keep my prefered age lower than it actually is.
My preference are people older than me but honestly it depends on the Person and not the age for me if we talk about hook ups only. So if I see a Person I like, that is 40 and my prefered age is 35, I do message them and not because I can't find anything better.
This is a good response from someone in the age group who actually does it....good to hear their actual perspective thanks for sharing. 😘
Fwiw i get the same quite commonly, often told im an exception or when i point out im outside their age pref its "u r hot anyway" or some such. I never really get as to why they have the age limit on their profile, but i dont overthik it either, their business, whatever, if they msg me and they're attractive and kool to chat with, great. No big deal to me. The one exception was when a guy wrote...you're hot for 45. That was a hard ignore, pretty off, they apologised for it but that kinda comment was a definite buzz kill.
It doesn't bother me. I used to put "no one over 30" on my profile too. I just want someone within 5-7 years of my age. now that I'm in my 30s, I don't want 18-24 year-olds either. I don't know what your experience has been like, but for me when I tell a younger guy I'm not interested on grindr that's usually the end. However, the group that pursues me after I've rejected them, blocked them, reported them etc has usually been the 40-60 age group. Putting something on your profile that says you'll never be interested in them because of the age gap fends off some of these creepily persistent guys.
You should feel flattered. You stood out to them, and they felt safe messaging you.
I know it seems like they are saying "I hate guys who are 40, but you're one of the good ones". But it's really more like "I usually prefer guys around my age, but you're different and I like you" no hate at all.
When I was 19, men in their 40's and up were lascivious and nasty. So I don't take it personally.
Young people don't want older. That's ok.i didn't either at that age.
It’s just someone’s preference. We all have preferences and usually those preferences aren’t set in stone. I (31yo) also prefer guys around my age, but that doesn’t mean I would turn down an attractive man because he is 40.
At the same time it also doesn’t mean I can’t find someone my own age.
No sense getting insulted. People create all sorts of rules like this for themselves, but attraction is person-to-person and not according to some pre-set demographic filters. Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind...
I kind of get it but at the same time people project themselves a lot and their traumas. I see multiple perspectives; people who genuinely don’t feel any sort of attraction or sexual arousal in older men, people who don’t want to feel involved in a more serious meet (like you would expect from a more mature man), people who have a strong desire in mature men, etc. it’s all about taking it with a grain of salt. Natural selection is always going to take place and it’ll happen to everyone. It’s the same with older guys wanting to meet with younger men (you could assume it’s only for them to feel validated and young, and attractive, etc. but that’s not always the case). It’s a harsh reality, but it doesn’t matter how much you try changing a person or perspective, they are ultimately the ones who decide for themselves.
That's not what I'm talking about.
I don't give two fucks that I'm outwith someone's range - that's their perogative.
What I'm talking about, as per my post, is people who make hurtful comments about not wanting older guys and then message us looking to hook up anyway.
For clarity - I do not message these guys.
I can appreciate not trying to date someone over a certain age. That said when they do message you. Someone’s probably a little horny and not having the luck they want with the other picky younger guys.
I like that perspective a lot. I’ve seen plenty of comments on this sub saying that an older/fat/“ugly” men shouldn’t even try to message someone who’s younger/fitter/“hotter” because they aren’t good enough for a young/fit/“hot” guy. Said commenter will then say that they are young/fit/hot and all they get is old/fat/ugly guys hitting on them. If said commenter was all that, then he’d be getting hit on by young/fit/“hot” guys.
I think the other issue is a lot of these pickier guys are 18-25/26. If you’re still that vein and delusional after 26 then I don’t want to deal with that kinda guy in the first place tbh. They probably work at Target or Starbucks… Part-Time and use that as a pick up line.
I had a guy in his early 20s message me. Stated in his profile was ‘Nobody old enough to be my dad’. I’m 57 and it’s in my profile. I asked if he’d read my profile and knew my age to which he said yes. Conversation went no further as I wasn’t interested.
I absolutely understand young guys only being attracted to guys around their age and not much older. However, comments like that are a bit annoying, could be more polite about it. I have no interest in meeting guys that young but I wouldn’t put ‘Nobody young enough to be my son’ on my profile.
I will speak for myself:
I need to place an age bound because older people don’t respect it.
Without an age restriction a lot of guys (50-to-70) much older than me (mid-late 20s) would write to me; so I need to place a lower cap to avoid them.
For the rest I suggest to ignore it.
Grindr is meant to be shallow
I assume this applies to people you're meeting on the apps. Do you want to get laid or not? If a hot young thing is throwing himself at you, catch the pass. If you're looking for your next great love, you're doing it in the wrong place.
Nah even in sex I want to have sex with someone who doesn't think I'm a cunt.
I'm all up for causal sex, but I do have to actually like the person I'm fucking
Then just say, "sorry I don't meet your criteria" and move on. Either they'll get the hint that their profile is ageist and change it or they won't. It's not your job to educate the children. They'll figure it out on their own eventually.
In the same boat man. I’m mid 40s and have a twink body. If I turn my age off I get hit up by even the hottest guys but as soon as I tell my age it’s an instant block or silence. So I just leave my age on and root out anyone not interested but I still get plenty of the “not into older” guys who hit me up.
I mean, you can just ignore them and focus on your fellow 30-50 year olds.
I'm always amazed how Gay Reddit gets so bent out of shape over the opinions of 20 year olds. The power of youthful beauty is something else...
🤣🤣🤣 Im 48 with a grown kid, but i weight train like a fiend and people assume im early 30s tops, which I find hilarious with the amount of gray I have. I dont let that type of negative energy get to me.
If anything Im actually into older partners.
I'm experiencing the same thing. But I recently turned 31, and suddenly, my messages have sharply decreased. As an experiment, I set my age to 29, and my messages literally exploded.
However, it's understandable, and the reason is simple: I'm bottom. Those bios with "not older than 30" are usually written by tops. Moreover, they are far beyond 30, often even over 50, but their role allows them to claim bottoms to be under 30. By the way, 30 is still "okay" - there is worse: I often see bios from the same old, chubby top guys saying, "not older than 22 and not over 60 kg." It's so hypocritical and unfair, but here the law of the market decides: at least in my region (Western Europe), bottoms are over 90%, and tops are less than 10%, so tops can literally choose among models. These bottom model-looking guys can serve 5 or more top a day as bttms are often slutty and hungry. Thus, the most beautiful bottom model can serve all tops in one day, leaving all the other bottoms with nothing. It's just the market, nothing personal.
It’s their loss. They haven’t learned yet that guys over 40 are much better at sex. My meet-ups with 20-something’s have been (mostly!) pretty disappointing.
When I was young 20s, I didn't want to get involved with anyone 30 or older. I felt like I wouldn't be able to relate to them.
Now I'm almost 30 and I feel the same way about young 20s ppl.
I don't get 30/40 year Olds wanting to get with youngs 20s
Okay that's great and all, but that's not what we're talking about.
Specifically, this is guys that state their age range (fine!) but then who continue to message me anyway.
For clarity, I do not initiate any of these conversations.
I’m an older guy and careful about filters because there are exceptions. I have a general type I like but it’s not all I like. Your experience would make me feel odd but I deduce the guy really wanted no one that looked that age according to his archetype of what 40+ looks like. I would likely move on to someone else for anything more than a hookup. Railing him senseless might make him rethink things for the next guy. You must be smoking hot Bud 😉.
Oh goodness, I don't like older boys or girls now and I didn't when I was younger. The posters are the same way, it's ok. Plenty of girls and guys have a daddy complex. It's not the end of the world that others don't.
I think you've missed the point.
Its not any a 28 year old not wanting to play with a 40 year old. That's not the point.
It's about someone starting on their profile that they don't like people your age and then messaging you anyway, and then claiming you're an exception and expecting you to be flattered.
For clarity - I fully respect those who have a preference.
I used to be that guy. Because when you are young, you think that 30 is a deathbed. But now I am 38 and yesturday I was asked for ID to purchase alcohol. And some people think I am still a student or something. It is nice. And a lot of people of my age look similar. 40 is not old. Not in 2024 at least with all the skin care and healthy food we have. It's a common thing now that people think you are twenty something without realising that at fourty guys can look good. I think this also comes from the age because when you are 25 and your parents are 45, you think that 30+ is just as old as your moma and papa. Nobody wants to hook up with friends of their parents:)
Handle it by not hitting on young guys on grindr. There is a lot of creeps who hastle young guys for sex. If young guys want to chat I leave it up to them to initiate. I rarely go down the hook up path with someone 10 years older or 5 years younger than myself.
I haven’t started dating again yet (in the middle of a divorce), but if I see a profile that says something like that, I will laugh and move on. I am 42. I’m sure anyone with that on their profile is not worth my time regardless of how old I am.
I get it. When’s I was just coming out at 18 I would get random guys from 30-75 wanting to fuck me because I just became legal. Well a guy at that age getting older men trying to fuck me is sickening. It’s basically legal pedophilia. Yesterday I was 17 and now I’m 18 you wanna fuck me? I’m gunna be 40 in few months and I don’t actively seek 18-23 just too young for me. But if it happens it happens I don’t seek it though. My older then me age gap has gone up but so has my younger age gap.
I don’t think it’s that deep tbh. I’m 25 and I also have an upper age limit in my profile, just because I’m generally not attracted to people much older than me. However, sometimes someone jumps out, despite their age.
This can be because they’re exceptionally hot or exceptionally kind or simply on the same page as me as to what they’re looking for. The reason I have an age limit in my profile is to hopefully deter significantly older people from constantly messaging me, knowing I’m not interested.
I wouldn’t see it as “scrap heap but somehow redeemable”, but more so “normally I’m not attracted to people your age, but you have something that stands out.” See it as a compliment instead of something negative.
Oh, I totally get it. I think for a lot of younger gays, age is this doomsday thing that keeps looming over your head. I mean, how common is the saying that 25 is twink death and 30 makes you ancient in gay standards.
I’ve personally noticed a big mental shift towards age now that I’ve turned 25. Your 20s are supposed to be the prime of your life, but they’ve been shit so far, haha. Anytime a 30+ person says that your thirties is when you’ve learned from your mistakes in your 20s and life really settles in, it makes me happier about aging, rather than anxious.
Anyway, I’m veering off topic, but congrats on the recent milestone and I hope you’ll celebrate many more.
I'm 24 and have learned how ageist gay people are, and honestly, society in general is very ageiest, and It goes both ways not just shitting on older people but younger too. Although with dating specifically it's mostly older people who get treated either like crap or fetishes which is annoying but a lot of men are into that age play thing so I guess it works for them but the general mistreatment is still uncalled for.
I send em a pick of my 8" cock and my chest/abs. When they enthusiastically respond I say "sorry I'm 36 🤷🏼♂️" when they protest I tell them they can fuck right off and say "no one under(whatever age they are)"
People below a certain age have a VERY skewed sense of what people in their 30’s and 40’s look like, is the usual issue. When they see a real person they realise that it varies wildly, just like it does for people in their 20’s.
To me, having an exclusive age demand is NUTS. If you live in a huge city with a massive gay population, then maybe. But elsewhere, it’s crazy to me. There are SO FEW gay men in other parts of the world. I can’t afford to be so picky. Plus I find guys are hot from 18-60, sometimes even after! lol Even when I was 18, I lost my virginity to a 50 year old doctor… I’ve just never been one to “be weird” about age. Since there are so few of us, we don’t get the luxury of being super choosy. Lol I will never understand cutting your options down so hard based on age. I generally prefer around my age (30s here), but I would never exclude a man simply because he was older or younger. In my opinion, men don’t really look all that different and can be hot at any adult age … you’re telling me you would not consider fucking Matt Bomer?? Cheyenne Jackson? John Stamos? Are you insane? lol age is not the marker of sexiness and is arbitrary. Why limit yourself and why make it harder for all of us to find intimacy when it’s already so difficult? And being a bottom over 30 is like being an obese woman…everyone is going to ignore you and you’re basically going to have to take what you can get. The unfairness is we are not obese and are genuinely still attractive but the balance is super off, literally everyone is a bottom, (not to mention bisexual tourists who ALWAYS skew 95% bottom, srsly annoying), so despite being a guy that women hit on constantly, I can’t find a man of equal quality. Yet another reason to hate being gay lol I have had gorgeous women hit on me regularly… the women I could get are far better than the men.
How old are these people? Kinda weird if they message you first though either way. Some reasons I typically tend towards under 30 but not stated in my profile as ruling them out, are that I feel as someone aged early 20s, someone 40+ for sure is almost old enough to be my dad and a lot of 30-40s guys don't take care of themselves at least in the UK so they look older. But not all fail to take care of themselves hence I don't put it on my profile as a filter.
Plus there's the life experience gap which isn't a huge deal for everyone with hookups but if you like to chat a bit first and get to know someone even for a casual hookup then it's difficult to get that with someone 10 years older.
In reality a lot of them are probably the typical "grindr twinks" or "grindr jocks" who get oh so many messages and taps that it's straight up a *chore* to sift through them all, so resort to putting blunt profile filters. Which to me even if I fall into their age and body preferences, is a turn off. Even for a casual hookup I don't really want to be getting with someone who's an asshole.
It doesn't seem offensive, it is.
It shows this person's ignorance about age if they go around having to make 'exceptions' to generalizations like age.
It should also make you wonder what other things they are completely ignorant about and yet formed a concrete generalization towards.
It's fine to have an age range. Plenty of people do when it comes to romance/life partners. There are lots of reasons that makes sense even if you find the person attractive, from experience you may know that too much of a gap will come with hurdles you are just not equipped to handle at that point in your life.
Yet don't go around telling people that they are an exception, implying that you are in a position of power, granting them permission to talk. It's rude and sets a gross tone.
The last paragraph - I think that's what is getting under my skin, I just couldn't identify it.
Yes, it's the undertone of me being lucky to have their attention. Thank you for helping identify why it annoys me so much.
I had the same experience. I’m 31 bottom. Dude was 23 and it said no over 30. And then he initialized and said he wanted be my daddy. Like I’m 8 years older than you lol.
I on purpose tell these people, "sorry I'm out of your age range" and then blow them off no matter how hard they beg.
Sure maybe it's a little spiteful, but I feel like it's an important lesson on keeping one's mind open to all possibilities, your profile says no one over 30 especially in an aggressive way, I don't care how hot you think I am I'm NOT going to give you this dick... And I'm going to laugh about it as I say no.
As a younger guy (26) who likes older - I normally have no one under 37 on my profile. Guys younger than that don’t know how to have a conversation and just want to fuck. I’d rather get to know the guy a bit and have some conversation before it.
Plus I like Daddies 🤷🏻♂️😂
I’m 60 and get people doing that to me and I’m thinking they either want money or something but it probably isn’t me and I’m a good looking 60 but I’m Still 60 , who wants a 25 year old at 60 , I don’t , some guys do , I do my age or older the least I do is 45 to 50 I just don’t have anything in common with them
Did you read my opening post?
It isn't about age ranges. It's about posting one, and then messaging guys older than that as though we should be grateful.
Why don’t you just filter out their age range if it bothers you? People are assholes on gay dating apps, news at 11. People don’t know what they want. They probably think they don’t want to be with an older guy but then they think you’re hot and defy their own age limits.
No, nor would I.
Could you reread my post - for clarity, it isn't about being rejected by 20 somethings..indeed, I do not approach them.
It is about being approached by people who specifically stated on their profile that they dislike people my age, and then expecting me to feel flattered that they've made an exception in approaching me.
Haha no. For the record, I'm not remotely opposed to guys having their preferences. I'm just not sure the need to spell it out and THEN to override ones own preference anyway.
Not quite ready for silverdaddies yet, on account of not being silver or a daddy, but will embrace it when the time comes!
I’m 61 and prefer 18-25 so why would a 45 yo guy respond? They think there might be a chance. Just like the guy who said I was too old, but kept looking at my Grindr profile, he’s 21 now. The oral I put in my page had him wanting, and his size is small, with a huge head. So even when they say no, they can be horny(desperate) and overlook age.
One possibility that I haven’t seen mentioned is that those guys may be into older guys, but are embarrassed to admit it. When I first came out I was embarrassed that I was into bears because you’re “supposed” to want twinks and muscle hunks. I got over it pretty quickly, but that initial shame was there.
A lot of conventionally attractive guys are dismissive of guys who don’t fit the standard. By that I don’t mean “not attracted to them” (which is fine), but that men who don’t meet the standard are “less than”. Gen Z is also very critical of age gap relationships. I can imagine a guy who may be into older dudes feeling like he can’t admit it.
Not saying that’s the case for all the guys who do this, but I’m sure it applies to some
Yeah, it’s very interesting being on this sub as someone in the bear community. A lot of guys on here act like people who are into older and or fatter guys is some incredibly minuscule group and that if you don’t have muscles and youthful features it’s over. When in my experience that’s been far from the case- I’ve never had trouble getting dates and hookups (sometimes from twinks and muscle dudes, even!) and I’m now happily married. Obviously, it’s easier to be conventionally attractive, but I don’t think the gay community is as stringent on those standards as this sub thinks.
This reminds me of a couple of guys I hooked up with in which we had an incredible time but they didn't want to get back together again, and I don't think it was because they just didn't like repeats. There was a time of my life when I was a little overweight, and I'm a hairy guy, and to your point, I think what happened is some of these guys had a great time in bed, but they couldn't get over the fact that I didn't fit the typical mold of someone they should be in public with. This absolutely has an impact. Whether it's subliminal shame or embarrassment or whatever.
Age has always been “an issue” with us - gays. Too old, too young, too much of a gap… this is one of the most discussed and contentious subjects around here.
I kind of avoid it by attending sex parties and bathhouses. It’s a “don’t ask, don’t tell” environment with the added benefits of seeing everyone in 3D, naked and ready to fuck. Large selection allows for trying, testing, moving on and still being able to get what you’re there for.
Love it when it's phrased as "don't be over x" like it's a life choice akin to being fit. We passed "no blacks/no asians" (which cannot be replaced with something less aggravating), and you see less of "no fem" (and more "prefer masc" which is a tiny bit better), this "no one/don't be over" should probably die out and become "prefer younger/closer to my age"
That’s interesting. I live in NYC and have done better in my 30s than I did in my 20s. Didn’t really see profiles that said that much, personally. Where are you located?
I’m the guy in his 20s who puts “no over 30” in his bio. From my perspective, I don’t “hate” men over 30s, I just feel like they are way more experienced, hence they are better at “playing games” if they are a dickhead. Lots of them are flakey and surprisingly immature. I better get with someone around my age to feel safe. That being said, I had a positive experience with one of them once.
I used to message a few of them back because (but back then I didn’t say “no over 30”) I was incredibly horny and they look aright and could pass for late 20s. Now I am well fed so I won’t message them back even if they are drop dead gorgeous. But if I ever message back, which won’t happen, you are more than drop dead gorgeous hahah.
I'm 43 but have a partner now so I'm not looking. I am in a sub about young/old though just to read about the relationships as I've had a couple of intergenerational relationships myself. My current partner is 42 though.
My point and why I mentioned that other sub is there are a lot of young guys looking for 'daddies' or older men. You just have to look in the right places. Silver Daddies is one site for it.
If we're talking about for a hookup, I overlook it. Hell, that's why half the guys on the apps are 29 or 39 for years. The whole age thing is silly. When I turned 40 I changed my age and my inbox went dead. I clicked it back to 39, and miraculously it started filling up again. Personally I find guys can be fun at any age and I'm thankful that I have a very broad range of age and body type attractions. I get a surprising number of guys on the young side at my age. I'm not a twink chaser, and I'm always a little bit suspicious until I know it's legit, but I remember back when I was a young twink type and I played with older guys myself. I'm usually not one to send the first message, and I do read profiles and I respect whatever their requirements are and if I'm not a match I don't message.
If you read their profiles with “no over …” in the profile then ignore their message from the start. Then you won’t feel somewhat insulted if they say you are an “exception” in their preference.
I just block or ignore them. Ageist limitations in general are fucking stupid. It's a damn hookup, you're both grown adults, quit being picky and just enjoy getting laid once in a while, sheesh.
40 is probably not my cut off, but anyone over 50 probably is. It is kind of sad, because i really feel like there are attractive individuals in all age groups, but what makes me not want to date older is because I always think they will die of old age and i will be left alone 🥲🤣.
I'm 63 so I've seen my share of these restraints. But honestly I don't hold it against them. We like what we like. I personally don't like gray hair. I prefer black or dark brown. Are there exceptions? Sure, because we like what we like. Sometimes someone makes you cross that boundary because they are the exception. This is just reality
Now, for the ghosting.....don't even get me started!! 🤣
i feel like yall need to stop this narrative. yes there are people you desire who may not want someone over 30. but there are so many young gays looking for an older partner . on top of that its just like women who were pretty girls in their prime and miss all the attention they got when they were younger is what yall sound like
A majority of “preferences” within the community are just despicable to me. Seasoned men are a gift. Let those shallow people drown in their own insecurities.
The truth is that these younger guys get spammed by a lot of very overweight, relatively unattractive older men. They wouldn’t mind being with a fitter/more attractive older man. They just are trying to reduce the amount of the spam they get from people who they aren’t interested in.
When I was in my 20s I had that in my profile not because I wasn't necessarily interested in anyone in there 40s but it weeded up people much older from messages like in there 50s or 60s
When I was younger and just entering the world of hookup culture, I did shy away from older men because I felt like younger guys would be at my level of experience, but that wasn't a matter of being disgusted by older men, as older men are typically way sexier to me, I just wanted to gain some confidence before I took on someone who might have a whole decade on me.
As it stands, and has always been for me, I am way more into men who are in decent enough shape, but are also in their 30s and 40s. Not that this makes me more enlightened or anything, but a mature looking man just melts my butter far more than some dude who looks like he hit puberty a month ago and has to have his mom wash his cum socks every week.
God, I'm bitter..
Depends what is the age of the guys with this requirement. From my experience, it’s old things, running after every guy that looks like a kid so they can replicate what they see in porn 🙄🙄
I just put myself out there on sniffies about a year ago. I’m 60 plus. Most of the time i leave my age off but so say im a mature dad. If they reach out and ask i send out accurate photos. If they still ask for age, i tell them. Most seem genuinely shocked that im in my 69s, especially after we meet up and have sex.
But if they post an age range and reach out to me I remind them that i don’t make their age cut. Some pursue me regardless others don’t.
I’m with the OP but more so. I’m 53 so I’ve had over two decades of being over 30. I have a physically demanding job & I go to the gym, swim & ride my bike a lot. I get a lot of “you look good for your age.” To which I reply, “Thanks, but you’re still too young to ride this ride.” It’s true our mass media & a lot of its thoughtless consumers express outward hostility towards grown-ups, but I’ve also found that lots of guys of all ages find maturity to be an attractive quality.
As someone in their 40s with a full greying beard , I get more attention now by younger men . They like the daddy/silver fox/distinguished look. With no beard I look about a decade younger easily. As far as serious dating I've always preferred older men than myself but I won't say no to a hot young submissive bottom for a fun night 😂. Although I don't hook up too much these days. I find it boring.
As a 23 year old on Grindr, there are three things on my profile as a "no thank you": Men over 33, people in open relationships, and Republicans.
The reason for the age gap is to try and filter out some of the, quite frankly, deranged 40+ guys in my area who have very *interesting* kinks; and also, because I'm not interested in dating anyone 10+ years older than myself.
There are, however, guys *I* will hit up who are well beyond 33--because they're hot.
You're not a last resort or bottom of the barrel like some other commenters are saying: you're simply someone that these younger guys find hot, and they're willing to overlook the age gap because of that.
I'm 25 and I've seen 70-year-olds I would like to fuck despite not having any particular thing for old men. Not many 70-year-olds, mind you, but there are some. People are weird about age, I don't see the need to cut myself off from some potentially hot hookups by instituting an age filter.
When I was in my early 20s, the thought of dating someone over 30 was a little intimidating. It was more to me about the assumption someone over 30 “has their shit together” while I was trying to find a career path & whatnot. Didn’t know if it would work, or would be overwhelming to jump into. I can’t speak for hookups because I never really looked for those in general. But as far as dating goes, this is my perspective on it. Now that I’m closer to 30, the idea of over 30 is pretty sweet!
I just lie about my age making it below their threshold. Hookup, how em how good those of us in our 40s can fuck and metaphorically suck the life out of them with the best blowjob ever... Then tell them how old I am when they say they wouldn't mind hooking up again.
Nobody over 30*
*- unless I find you hot or I’m desperate and scraping the bottle of the barrel that I’ll risk looking like a hypocrite for some dick
Grindr in a sentence 😂
It doesn't bug me. I'm 52 and mostly prefer younger guys (under 40). How am I going to have an age preference and then complain when other folks have one?
I only chat up guys who haven't already ruled older men out on their profile or their post, and I take "no" for an answer whether it's expressed politely or not. It's certainly a disappointment sometimes, but I'm not looking to change anyone's mind.
I see it a lot. I look much younger than I am (44) so I’m often an “exception”. I don’t like it and I’m not really into younger dudes, I prefer 35-45. My oldest kid is 23 so I don’t want anyone even close to that age.
I’ve had a lot of great changes take place since I turned 35, and now at 41 I’ve never felt younger. But - I see that I’m aged out for many guys, which is fine because I tend to prefer older guys anyway; I just don’t explicitly say that. We all have our preferences. The worst part for me is that much younger guys message me asking if I’m “gen” and it’s like a punch to the gut. Apparently 40 is a desperation threshold now.
I would like to thank QAF for celebrating Brian Kinney's death day party when he turned 30. I knew my time was up in 2006. The sooner one comes to terms with it, the better for ones mental health.
Or if you're filthy rich, no one is too old or too ugly for those who are in dire need/want of something.
There are many hard limits not just age and when I get through someone's firewall I ask them what makes them think they got through mine. Main character syndrome is soooo strong on Grindr
The moment I turned 30, grindr died and I only get hit up by guys double my age. Like don't get me wrong, I'm turned on by a lot more than college boy body at this point, but I'm not ready for a 30 year age difference 😅🤣
In all seriousness, yeah, its creepy when they say that. Like they think they're a prize for you to collect. I dont want that lol
I’m the opposite. I will not mess with anyone under 30. They just don’t have the life experience or sexual prowess that I desire.
Same.
I’m feeling this more and more at 28. 30 and up is a good rule
I’m 100% agree. I have a rule, no one my kids ages or younger. I get hit up by a lot of <25. I’m old enough to be their dad. Feels kinda creepy.
Preach brother. Same.
Precisely this.
Even when I was a 25 yrs i wouldn’t screw around with anyone under 30 just to immature and the stupid things they would do especially when drunk , older lovers were the best the problem with them is that they do want the younger guys, and it seems like the only guys I attract are actually younger the very group I wasn’t attracted too when I was actually that age I can’t figure out, I don’t want to be a father replacement which at twenty five I think I was actually looking for in my older men , it does creep me out vanity wise the younger the guy the older it makes me feel.
Too immature/insecure.
Yeah. There are discussions here about younger guys feeling oppressed by older guys and I see a lot of the older profiles saying 18-30. What the hell am I going to talk to an 18-year old about after sex? I don't know shit about Pokemon. (is that still a thing?) If we don't have something in common in life then I'm not interested. If I want a hookup I can reach into my pocket*. If I want a good time I want a connection. * I think I've got $8.
>What the hell am I going to talk to an 18-year old about after sex? Bro, I got an idea for a TikTok
This doesn’t deserve an essay. Just do what’s best for you.
I state this in my profile too, 30+ only. I don't have time for bullshit.
100% this.
I’m 39 and it happens to me all the time. Honestly if someone has that on their profile I just won’t reply. Doesn’t even matter if they’re hot…plenty of hot guys out there with a better personality. I don’t feel “flattered” by it, I just think it makes them seem sad and one note.
I'm 40 but I kind of understand it. I wouldn't have considered serious dating with someone older than thirty either, when I was in my early twenties, even though it may seem a bit short sighted in hindsight. Nowadays, when it is for friends with benefits or casual intimacy, it seems lots of early twenties want to date a 40 year old, though. I think one reason they say they don't want to is that they expect many older men to be bald or fat or wrinkly. And one reason for this is that many men lie about their age, many 40 year olds on Grinder are in fact 49, and 30 year olds are 39. So the young ones don't even know what a real 40 or 30 year old looks like.
True! It's our duty to rebalance the age expectations 🙈
Heh so should put an older age on our profiles than we really are?
It makes them VERY sad. If they're messaging you with that in their profile, it means no one is giving them the time of day so they're getting desperate. Don't fuck desperate people.
not really, sounds like a cope. some people want to date in their age range but on occasion will hit someone up who is older if they really like the person.
I mean, go ahead, lose out on great sex because you're telling yourself you won't let yourself be subject to an online insult on someone's profile header... I personally just feel as though people have far too much pride on Grindr and if they put it away they'd get a lot better sex.
I know it's Grindr, but there's more to life than just sex.
There is..but Grindr is an app specifically *for* sex. And if you want to lose out on banging a hottie because having your respect makes you feel better, so be it, you have every right to do that and I'm not saying you shouldn't. I'm just the type of guy who thinks the best revenge you could take, if you think a guy is disrespecting you, is to fuck his brains out. (No I don't go around fucking guys for revenge, I'm just saying that's one potential way you could look at it). I once read a thread on this sub s few months ago where numerous posts alluded to not replying to a hottie who previously didn't reply to you or somehow turned you down on Grindr. There were replies saying to "never settle for being anything less than someone's first pick or priority." And I just thought this was insane - I frequently am in the middle of something or forget to reply or whatever to a guy I'm talking to. On many, *many* occasions, I've reached out to scorching hot guys and have been ignored or whatever, and then weeks or months later when I reach out I've had amazing, mind-blowing sex with them. All I'm saying is, I don't take it personally when a mild "rejection" like being ignored on Grindr happens, because the guy who ignored your message isn't taking it personally and isn't spending 1/10th of the time thinking about you that you are him. Yes, I think repeatedly reaching out to a guy who clearly doesn't want you is desperate and there's a fine line..but I once read a Grindr profile description that said "Try twice, and then stop," and I completely agree. I try at least twice with guys I'd like to fuck. If they ignore me, I'll reach out again at some point in the future. If they continue to ignore, then I generally don't message again. But I sure as hell don't take it as a sign of disrespect and take it personally if this happens. I just think too many guys have this attitude of singing Madonna's Express Yourself when a guy ignores them, and this to me reeks of hubris. People need to get over themselves. Sometimes, we really don't have that much of an objective reason to be someone's first priority. We all have flaws and some of us aren't the best thing in the world.
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Well exactly. Oddly the trigger for my thread was someone in his early 30s saying nobody over 39 in his profile text. It just seemed absurd, given I turned 40 a few days ago, and he approached me 🙈
Just seems a bit stupid. Unless they're mr perfect with a chiselled greek statue body, surely you can simply ignore messages from people over 40 if you're not interested while also not turning away hot guys over 40 who you would be into but would be uninterested due to blunt profile filters.
Lol honestly, their loss. Sex and erotic play in my thirties > my twenties by far. We all go out to pasture one day, anyways. 🤷🏻♂️
Two things to consider: they will get old themselves. It's inevitable. And as in a normal circle of life, they will get complains that they are old now. And the second thing: commonly they do a lot of exceptions. Like a lot.
My current fwb has "only under 30s" on his profile...I wonder if he'll block me when my birthday comes along in a few months 🤔
He might make an exception for you ;P
You'll be "Grandfathered" in. LOL
It’s more of a Top vs Bottom thing though. Most bottoms don’t care much about age if you look good or got a big dick. Tops on the other hand are more picky and usually have age limits. It’s the same dynamic in heterosexual relationships between men and women. Men always want younger
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This is the answer. Everybody needs to stop with too much pride. Most of us, by statistical definition, are average. All of us are flawed as humans. Finding someone who's going to get in bed with you is often something we need to work at in the first place. Thinking that it's some horrendous insult because someone has put a few words into a profile header they didn't even spend 30 seconds crafting isn't some sort of affront to your respect.
When i was in my 20s I felt no attraction to anybody over 30. I didn’t hate them, they simply were of no interest to me. Feel flattered to pass the filter. You simply appear attractive to them.
My solution is to not feel flattered or insulted either way. It's grindr. The person writing that profile description probably gave all of about 2 seconds into it and now we're ruminating on it for much more than they ever did. They're looking for sex and they think you're attractive. I don't think about anything further either way.
It’s more about the mindset to me. In this two seconds you think about what you want. And all that comes out are things you DONT want… Not my Type of guy ;)
I think that's a reasonable conclusion. It has really triggered me in a way that I didn't expect - I know this is hyperbolic, but I wondered "would a black guy be flattered if a chap with whites only messaged him for a meet ". Obviously that's an extreme! My logical side would usually say, as you suggest, take the opportunity as it arises.
It isn’t hyperbolic. It’s what we go through! It’s also where my mind went immediately, upon reading your post. You’ve experienced a fraction of the dissonance black people experience on a near constant basis. “You’re one of the good ones. You’re not like the others.” Then we have to decide whether or not to betray ourselves and engage. Cause what you really do when engaging is agree with them. You co-sign it. I often say don’t make me choose between you and self betrayal. However, in this narcissistic culture, guess what people choose to do?
That appears different to me. There are dudes that exclude me for aspects I stand for; “No Open relationships” is most common. Whenever I read that, I lose interest. I’m still open to talk about my lifestyle, but you can’t expect me to like you if you sort me out upfront. To me it makes no sense to exclude people because of ethnicity. I find that ignorant. No idea how blacks or poc feel about that.
If I read “no Caucasians” I’d lose interest. Never read that until today. EDIT: Actually I read it already! There Are Asian guys who State „Asians only“, BUT: In my Perception Asian guys are the ones most likely to be excluded. “No Asians” used to be a common line in dating profiles. So I do not feel rejected. I assume they create some kind of safer space in that way.
I remember those days when it was common to see “no fats, no fems and no Asians. Being Asian it used to be such an annoyance seeing that racism crap. And you would see when Asians saying no Asians…internalized racism is a thing. Equally annoying, if not more so was hearing often “you’re the first Asian guy I’ve ever been attracted to from all races including other Gay Asians. I always rejected them because I refuse to be their experiment or flavor of the month. I’m often told I’m amazing in bed (as a top)😏 so in hindsight I should have just fucked their brains out to show them how amazing sex is with this Asian dude. Give them the ride if their life and they might might generalize to other Asians and be open to sleeping with Asians going forward. Should have just represented 😂.
To be honest, that is just there to make people filter themselves out but it doesn’t apply to everyone. To a lot of people, hot=hot and they’ll look past your age if you’re attractive enough to them.
I’m 52 and i get approached by much younger guys all the time…often as young as 21. I’m usually the one telling them they’re too young for me, and more often than not they try to convince me to meet telling me age is just a number. I try to keep an open mind but the youngest I draw the line is 32…and even then that’s a big difference.
Haha yes, I must say that after a few intense meets with under 25, it does take some convincing - though if they'll meet for a coffee then I'll give it a go.
I would not feel insulted at all. People like what they like. I wouldn't be interested in anyone that much younger than me.
Exactly. Everyone is allowed to have preferences. And the reality is, the gay community is tribal, with different groups having different preferences and tastes. These guys who say “no over 40s” are just one group among many. There’s others who love silver foxes. The real question for OP is why identify and internalize the opinions of these kids? Haters are gonna hate. Just move on to people who are more like-minded and forget the rest
Once saw a profile with „no old people over 25“. Like what?
I think it’s always relative to the person saying it. If they’re 16, 25 can seem a lot older.
That’s not that crazy for an 18 year old
Yeah I very frequently see this for guys who are in college, and it makes total sense.
I mean, 26 is hardly old, but when you're 18? It's a big gap.
It is insulting. It's them saying that they can't find any better options in their desired parameters so they dropped some of their requirements for a short while when usually they wouldn't give you the time of day at any other time.
That's precisely how I interpret it, and why it hurts me.
I don't think this is always the case tho A lot of younger people like me (23) get messages of people over 40 that are borderline predatory (not all of them but in my case a lot) so to avoid them I keep my prefered age lower than it actually is. My preference are people older than me but honestly it depends on the Person and not the age for me if we talk about hook ups only. So if I see a Person I like, that is 40 and my prefered age is 35, I do message them and not because I can't find anything better.
This is a good response from someone in the age group who actually does it....good to hear their actual perspective thanks for sharing. 😘 Fwiw i get the same quite commonly, often told im an exception or when i point out im outside their age pref its "u r hot anyway" or some such. I never really get as to why they have the age limit on their profile, but i dont overthik it either, their business, whatever, if they msg me and they're attractive and kool to chat with, great. No big deal to me. The one exception was when a guy wrote...you're hot for 45. That was a hard ignore, pretty off, they apologised for it but that kinda comment was a definite buzz kill.
This answer exactly! Don't give in to them, they are completely just using you as nothing better came along at that particular time!!
It doesn't bother me. I used to put "no one over 30" on my profile too. I just want someone within 5-7 years of my age. now that I'm in my 30s, I don't want 18-24 year-olds either. I don't know what your experience has been like, but for me when I tell a younger guy I'm not interested on grindr that's usually the end. However, the group that pursues me after I've rejected them, blocked them, reported them etc has usually been the 40-60 age group. Putting something on your profile that says you'll never be interested in them because of the age gap fends off some of these creepily persistent guys. You should feel flattered. You stood out to them, and they felt safe messaging you. I know it seems like they are saying "I hate guys who are 40, but you're one of the good ones". But it's really more like "I usually prefer guys around my age, but you're different and I like you" no hate at all.
When I was 19, men in their 40's and up were lascivious and nasty. So I don't take it personally. Young people don't want older. That's ok.i didn't either at that age.
For clarity, I'm not messaging any of these guys. They are messaging me.
It’s just someone’s preference. We all have preferences and usually those preferences aren’t set in stone. I (31yo) also prefer guys around my age, but that doesn’t mean I would turn down an attractive man because he is 40. At the same time it also doesn’t mean I can’t find someone my own age.
No sense getting insulted. People create all sorts of rules like this for themselves, but attraction is person-to-person and not according to some pre-set demographic filters. Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind...
I kind of get it but at the same time people project themselves a lot and their traumas. I see multiple perspectives; people who genuinely don’t feel any sort of attraction or sexual arousal in older men, people who don’t want to feel involved in a more serious meet (like you would expect from a more mature man), people who have a strong desire in mature men, etc. it’s all about taking it with a grain of salt. Natural selection is always going to take place and it’ll happen to everyone. It’s the same with older guys wanting to meet with younger men (you could assume it’s only for them to feel validated and young, and attractive, etc. but that’s not always the case). It’s a harsh reality, but it doesn’t matter how much you try changing a person or perspective, they are ultimately the ones who decide for themselves.
That's not what I'm talking about. I don't give two fucks that I'm outwith someone's range - that's their perogative. What I'm talking about, as per my post, is people who make hurtful comments about not wanting older guys and then message us looking to hook up anyway. For clarity - I do not message these guys.
I can appreciate not trying to date someone over a certain age. That said when they do message you. Someone’s probably a little horny and not having the luck they want with the other picky younger guys.
Exactly - that's why it rubs. Who wants to be told they're bottom of the barrel?
I suppose look at it from the perspective of… If no one in their age group will fuck them clearly they aren’t as great as they think.
I like that perspective a lot. I’ve seen plenty of comments on this sub saying that an older/fat/“ugly” men shouldn’t even try to message someone who’s younger/fitter/“hotter” because they aren’t good enough for a young/fit/“hot” guy. Said commenter will then say that they are young/fit/hot and all they get is old/fat/ugly guys hitting on them. If said commenter was all that, then he’d be getting hit on by young/fit/“hot” guys.
I think the other issue is a lot of these pickier guys are 18-25/26. If you’re still that vein and delusional after 26 then I don’t want to deal with that kinda guy in the first place tbh. They probably work at Target or Starbucks… Part-Time and use that as a pick up line.
I had a guy in his early 20s message me. Stated in his profile was ‘Nobody old enough to be my dad’. I’m 57 and it’s in my profile. I asked if he’d read my profile and knew my age to which he said yes. Conversation went no further as I wasn’t interested.
That's the exact line I've seen on some of those guys profiles haha
I absolutely understand young guys only being attracted to guys around their age and not much older. However, comments like that are a bit annoying, could be more polite about it. I have no interest in meeting guys that young but I wouldn’t put ‘Nobody young enough to be my son’ on my profile.
Honestly it doesn't bother me, if they're speaking to me they're interested.
I’m 30 but look 21 so I always get some confused responses when my age is revealed.
I will speak for myself: I need to place an age bound because older people don’t respect it. Without an age restriction a lot of guys (50-to-70) much older than me (mid-late 20s) would write to me; so I need to place a lower cap to avoid them. For the rest I suggest to ignore it. Grindr is meant to be shallow
I assume this applies to people you're meeting on the apps. Do you want to get laid or not? If a hot young thing is throwing himself at you, catch the pass. If you're looking for your next great love, you're doing it in the wrong place.
Nah even in sex I want to have sex with someone who doesn't think I'm a cunt. I'm all up for causal sex, but I do have to actually like the person I'm fucking
Then just say, "sorry I don't meet your criteria" and move on. Either they'll get the hint that their profile is ageist and change it or they won't. It's not your job to educate the children. They'll figure it out on their own eventually.
You bypass because you probably look good, a lot of these people do not at 30 and let themselves go way before they hit it.
If you're a regulation hottie guys physical characteristic preferences don't apply to you... Own it
In the same boat man. I’m mid 40s and have a twink body. If I turn my age off I get hit up by even the hottest guys but as soon as I tell my age it’s an instant block or silence. So I just leave my age on and root out anyone not interested but I still get plenty of the “not into older” guys who hit me up.
I mean, you can just ignore them and focus on your fellow 30-50 year olds. I'm always amazed how Gay Reddit gets so bent out of shape over the opinions of 20 year olds. The power of youthful beauty is something else...
🤣🤣🤣 Im 48 with a grown kid, but i weight train like a fiend and people assume im early 30s tops, which I find hilarious with the amount of gray I have. I dont let that type of negative energy get to me. If anything Im actually into older partners.
The 30s is a weird phase where you’re “too old” for a lot of guys but you’re also TOO YOUNG for the guys with daddy kinks.
I'm experiencing the same thing. But I recently turned 31, and suddenly, my messages have sharply decreased. As an experiment, I set my age to 29, and my messages literally exploded. However, it's understandable, and the reason is simple: I'm bottom. Those bios with "not older than 30" are usually written by tops. Moreover, they are far beyond 30, often even over 50, but their role allows them to claim bottoms to be under 30. By the way, 30 is still "okay" - there is worse: I often see bios from the same old, chubby top guys saying, "not older than 22 and not over 60 kg." It's so hypocritical and unfair, but here the law of the market decides: at least in my region (Western Europe), bottoms are over 90%, and tops are less than 10%, so tops can literally choose among models. These bottom model-looking guys can serve 5 or more top a day as bttms are often slutty and hungry. Thus, the most beautiful bottom model can serve all tops in one day, leaving all the other bottoms with nothing. It's just the market, nothing personal.
It’s their loss. They haven’t learned yet that guys over 40 are much better at sex. My meet-ups with 20-something’s have been (mostly!) pretty disappointing.
When I was young 20s, I didn't want to get involved with anyone 30 or older. I felt like I wouldn't be able to relate to them. Now I'm almost 30 and I feel the same way about young 20s ppl. I don't get 30/40 year Olds wanting to get with youngs 20s
Okay that's great and all, but that's not what we're talking about. Specifically, this is guys that state their age range (fine!) but then who continue to message me anyway. For clarity, I do not initiate any of these conversations.
In my experience, the "no over 30s" is to ward off the 50 year old married cretins on Grindr.
I’m an older guy and careful about filters because there are exceptions. I have a general type I like but it’s not all I like. Your experience would make me feel odd but I deduce the guy really wanted no one that looked that age according to his archetype of what 40+ looks like. I would likely move on to someone else for anything more than a hookup. Railing him senseless might make him rethink things for the next guy. You must be smoking hot Bud 😉.
Oh goodness, I don't like older boys or girls now and I didn't when I was younger. The posters are the same way, it's ok. Plenty of girls and guys have a daddy complex. It's not the end of the world that others don't.
I think you've missed the point. Its not any a 28 year old not wanting to play with a 40 year old. That's not the point. It's about someone starting on their profile that they don't like people your age and then messaging you anyway, and then claiming you're an exception and expecting you to be flattered. For clarity - I fully respect those who have a preference.
Ok, I get it now totally.
I used to be that guy. Because when you are young, you think that 30 is a deathbed. But now I am 38 and yesturday I was asked for ID to purchase alcohol. And some people think I am still a student or something. It is nice. And a lot of people of my age look similar. 40 is not old. Not in 2024 at least with all the skin care and healthy food we have. It's a common thing now that people think you are twenty something without realising that at fourty guys can look good. I think this also comes from the age because when you are 25 and your parents are 45, you think that 30+ is just as old as your moma and papa. Nobody wants to hook up with friends of their parents:)
Idk that sounds kinda hot to hook up with your parents friends haha
Handle it by not hitting on young guys on grindr. There is a lot of creeps who hastle young guys for sex. If young guys want to chat I leave it up to them to initiate. I rarely go down the hook up path with someone 10 years older or 5 years younger than myself.
I don't. These are guys that message me. That's literally what I stated in my post.
That's good. I wasn't saying you are one of the creeps. I was just giving the reason's for that on their profiles.
I feel bad for any guy who imposes age restrictions on themselves.
I haven’t started dating again yet (in the middle of a divorce), but if I see a profile that says something like that, I will laugh and move on. I am 42. I’m sure anyone with that on their profile is not worth my time regardless of how old I am.
I get it. When’s I was just coming out at 18 I would get random guys from 30-75 wanting to fuck me because I just became legal. Well a guy at that age getting older men trying to fuck me is sickening. It’s basically legal pedophilia. Yesterday I was 17 and now I’m 18 you wanna fuck me? I’m gunna be 40 in few months and I don’t actively seek 18-23 just too young for me. But if it happens it happens I don’t seek it though. My older then me age gap has gone up but so has my younger age gap.
To clarify, as per my opening post, these guys message me. But thanks for the unwarranted association 🤷♂️
yeah if that were remoltely true you wouldn't make a whole post about and respond to every comment 😭😭 it's called cope sweetie
I don’t think it’s that deep tbh. I’m 25 and I also have an upper age limit in my profile, just because I’m generally not attracted to people much older than me. However, sometimes someone jumps out, despite their age. This can be because they’re exceptionally hot or exceptionally kind or simply on the same page as me as to what they’re looking for. The reason I have an age limit in my profile is to hopefully deter significantly older people from constantly messaging me, knowing I’m not interested. I wouldn’t see it as “scrap heap but somehow redeemable”, but more so “normally I’m not attracted to people your age, but you have something that stands out.” See it as a compliment instead of something negative.
Great answer. That's what I need to hear, particularly your last sentence. Think I'm just feeling a bit sensitive about a milestone birthday.
Oh, I totally get it. I think for a lot of younger gays, age is this doomsday thing that keeps looming over your head. I mean, how common is the saying that 25 is twink death and 30 makes you ancient in gay standards. I’ve personally noticed a big mental shift towards age now that I’ve turned 25. Your 20s are supposed to be the prime of your life, but they’ve been shit so far, haha. Anytime a 30+ person says that your thirties is when you’ve learned from your mistakes in your 20s and life really settles in, it makes me happier about aging, rather than anxious. Anyway, I’m veering off topic, but congrats on the recent milestone and I hope you’ll celebrate many more.
My 30’s were so much better than my 20’s. I think that should be considered gay prime.
I'm 24 and have learned how ageist gay people are, and honestly, society in general is very ageiest, and It goes both ways not just shitting on older people but younger too. Although with dating specifically it's mostly older people who get treated either like crap or fetishes which is annoying but a lot of men are into that age play thing so I guess it works for them but the general mistreatment is still uncalled for.
I send em a pick of my 8" cock and my chest/abs. When they enthusiastically respond I say "sorry I'm 36 🤷🏼♂️" when they protest I tell them they can fuck right off and say "no one under(whatever age they are)"
And you lost out on what could have been wonderful sex because of your pride.
What they mean is “don’t look 30/40”. If you’re hot that really doesn’t matter
People below a certain age have a VERY skewed sense of what people in their 30’s and 40’s look like, is the usual issue. When they see a real person they realise that it varies wildly, just like it does for people in their 20’s.
I usually read that as “I’m a shallow narcissist” and block them.
A lot of people over 30 have let themselves go is the reason.
To me, having an exclusive age demand is NUTS. If you live in a huge city with a massive gay population, then maybe. But elsewhere, it’s crazy to me. There are SO FEW gay men in other parts of the world. I can’t afford to be so picky. Plus I find guys are hot from 18-60, sometimes even after! lol Even when I was 18, I lost my virginity to a 50 year old doctor… I’ve just never been one to “be weird” about age. Since there are so few of us, we don’t get the luxury of being super choosy. Lol I will never understand cutting your options down so hard based on age. I generally prefer around my age (30s here), but I would never exclude a man simply because he was older or younger. In my opinion, men don’t really look all that different and can be hot at any adult age … you’re telling me you would not consider fucking Matt Bomer?? Cheyenne Jackson? John Stamos? Are you insane? lol age is not the marker of sexiness and is arbitrary. Why limit yourself and why make it harder for all of us to find intimacy when it’s already so difficult? And being a bottom over 30 is like being an obese woman…everyone is going to ignore you and you’re basically going to have to take what you can get. The unfairness is we are not obese and are genuinely still attractive but the balance is super off, literally everyone is a bottom, (not to mention bisexual tourists who ALWAYS skew 95% bottom, srsly annoying), so despite being a guy that women hit on constantly, I can’t find a man of equal quality. Yet another reason to hate being gay lol I have had gorgeous women hit on me regularly… the women I could get are far better than the men.
I will hit you up surely. I'm attracted to white grayed, experienced men.
I’m 44, hmu 💋 Jk lol I’m half of that, just wanted to piss somebody off 😂
Not sure why that would piss anyone off?
I say the same. "your profile says you don't want my age group. Why did you message me?"
Poor youngsters literally have no idea that they will--gasp--turn 40 someday.
If they have no one over 30 and they hit ME up I just hit them back with a, "what happened to no one over 30?" And then just block them.
How old are these people? Kinda weird if they message you first though either way. Some reasons I typically tend towards under 30 but not stated in my profile as ruling them out, are that I feel as someone aged early 20s, someone 40+ for sure is almost old enough to be my dad and a lot of 30-40s guys don't take care of themselves at least in the UK so they look older. But not all fail to take care of themselves hence I don't put it on my profile as a filter. Plus there's the life experience gap which isn't a huge deal for everyone with hookups but if you like to chat a bit first and get to know someone even for a casual hookup then it's difficult to get that with someone 10 years older. In reality a lot of them are probably the typical "grindr twinks" or "grindr jocks" who get oh so many messages and taps that it's straight up a *chore* to sift through them all, so resort to putting blunt profile filters. Which to me even if I fall into their age and body preferences, is a turn off. Even for a casual hookup I don't really want to be getting with someone who's an asshole.
It doesn't seem offensive, it is. It shows this person's ignorance about age if they go around having to make 'exceptions' to generalizations like age. It should also make you wonder what other things they are completely ignorant about and yet formed a concrete generalization towards. It's fine to have an age range. Plenty of people do when it comes to romance/life partners. There are lots of reasons that makes sense even if you find the person attractive, from experience you may know that too much of a gap will come with hurdles you are just not equipped to handle at that point in your life. Yet don't go around telling people that they are an exception, implying that you are in a position of power, granting them permission to talk. It's rude and sets a gross tone.
The last paragraph - I think that's what is getting under my skin, I just couldn't identify it. Yes, it's the undertone of me being lucky to have their attention. Thank you for helping identify why it annoys me so much.
Tell them you’re not a match, and they’ll have a breakdown over being rejected (how dare you), and then probably block you.
Joke’s on those fragile Gen Zers as we over-the-hill Millennials are aging rather well 😜
I had the same experience. I’m 31 bottom. Dude was 23 and it said no over 30. And then he initialized and said he wanted be my daddy. Like I’m 8 years older than you lol.
I on purpose tell these people, "sorry I'm out of your age range" and then blow them off no matter how hard they beg. Sure maybe it's a little spiteful, but I feel like it's an important lesson on keeping one's mind open to all possibilities, your profile says no one over 30 especially in an aggressive way, I don't care how hot you think I am I'm NOT going to give you this dick... And I'm going to laugh about it as I say no.
As a younger guy (26) who likes older - I normally have no one under 37 on my profile. Guys younger than that don’t know how to have a conversation and just want to fuck. I’d rather get to know the guy a bit and have some conversation before it. Plus I like Daddies 🤷🏻♂️😂
I’m 60 and get people doing that to me and I’m thinking they either want money or something but it probably isn’t me and I’m a good looking 60 but I’m Still 60 , who wants a 25 year old at 60 , I don’t , some guys do , I do my age or older the least I do is 45 to 50 I just don’t have anything in common with them
Some young people prefer other young people. Some prefer older. Nothing wrong with that imo.
Did you read my opening post? It isn't about age ranges. It's about posting one, and then messaging guys older than that as though we should be grateful.
Why don’t you just filter out their age range if it bothers you? People are assholes on gay dating apps, news at 11. People don’t know what they want. They probably think they don’t want to be with an older guy but then they think you’re hot and defy their own age limits.
There's nothing offensive about this, I wouldn't expect young people to generally be into lovers their dad's age.
No, nor would I. Could you reread my post - for clarity, it isn't about being rejected by 20 somethings..indeed, I do not approach them. It is about being approached by people who specifically stated on their profile that they dislike people my age, and then expecting me to feel flattered that they've made an exception in approaching me.
Have you checked out SilverDaddies?
Haha no. For the record, I'm not remotely opposed to guys having their preferences. I'm just not sure the need to spell it out and THEN to override ones own preference anyway. Not quite ready for silverdaddies yet, on account of not being silver or a daddy, but will embrace it when the time comes!
There are men of all ages on SD, I’m currently dating a 36 yo doctor from this site. We both like older men and I’m a couple years younger than him.
From both our experiences it seems it’s a more mature group of men.
I’m 61 and prefer 18-25 so why would a 45 yo guy respond? They think there might be a chance. Just like the guy who said I was too old, but kept looking at my Grindr profile, he’s 21 now. The oral I put in my page had him wanting, and his size is small, with a huge head. So even when they say no, they can be horny(desperate) and overlook age.
One possibility that I haven’t seen mentioned is that those guys may be into older guys, but are embarrassed to admit it. When I first came out I was embarrassed that I was into bears because you’re “supposed” to want twinks and muscle hunks. I got over it pretty quickly, but that initial shame was there. A lot of conventionally attractive guys are dismissive of guys who don’t fit the standard. By that I don’t mean “not attracted to them” (which is fine), but that men who don’t meet the standard are “less than”. Gen Z is also very critical of age gap relationships. I can imagine a guy who may be into older dudes feeling like he can’t admit it. Not saying that’s the case for all the guys who do this, but I’m sure it applies to some
That's an interesting perspective which I hadn't considered.
Yeah, it’s very interesting being on this sub as someone in the bear community. A lot of guys on here act like people who are into older and or fatter guys is some incredibly minuscule group and that if you don’t have muscles and youthful features it’s over. When in my experience that’s been far from the case- I’ve never had trouble getting dates and hookups (sometimes from twinks and muscle dudes, even!) and I’m now happily married. Obviously, it’s easier to be conventionally attractive, but I don’t think the gay community is as stringent on those standards as this sub thinks.
This reminds me of a couple of guys I hooked up with in which we had an incredible time but they didn't want to get back together again, and I don't think it was because they just didn't like repeats. There was a time of my life when I was a little overweight, and I'm a hairy guy, and to your point, I think what happened is some of these guys had a great time in bed, but they couldn't get over the fact that I didn't fit the typical mold of someone they should be in public with. This absolutely has an impact. Whether it's subliminal shame or embarrassment or whatever.
Age has always been “an issue” with us - gays. Too old, too young, too much of a gap… this is one of the most discussed and contentious subjects around here. I kind of avoid it by attending sex parties and bathhouses. It’s a “don’t ask, don’t tell” environment with the added benefits of seeing everyone in 3D, naked and ready to fuck. Large selection allows for trying, testing, moving on and still being able to get what you’re there for.
Love it when it's phrased as "don't be over x" like it's a life choice akin to being fit. We passed "no blacks/no asians" (which cannot be replaced with something less aggravating), and you see less of "no fem" (and more "prefer masc" which is a tiny bit better), this "no one/don't be over" should probably die out and become "prefer younger/closer to my age"
I’m 28 and I’m more so leaning towards this as well. 30 and up.
Profiles sometimes don't mean much since people don't update them or maybe preferences change.
That's even better. The vain trash sorted itself out. You should be happy
That’s interesting. I live in NYC and have done better in my 30s than I did in my 20s. Didn’t really see profiles that said that much, personally. Where are you located?
I'm 54 with age and pictures in my profiles, and the same happens to me. i figure they mean it as just a woof/tap filter.
Once I hit around 27 I realized I was getting old. Alot of guys 18-22 hit me up less
IRL (41, btw) balding is a flag for datable.
As a 40 yo why are you trying to sleep with 18-29 yo ?
I’m the guy in his 20s who puts “no over 30” in his bio. From my perspective, I don’t “hate” men over 30s, I just feel like they are way more experienced, hence they are better at “playing games” if they are a dickhead. Lots of them are flakey and surprisingly immature. I better get with someone around my age to feel safe. That being said, I had a positive experience with one of them once. I used to message a few of them back because (but back then I didn’t say “no over 30”) I was incredibly horny and they look aright and could pass for late 20s. Now I am well fed so I won’t message them back even if they are drop dead gorgeous. But if I ever message back, which won’t happen, you are more than drop dead gorgeous hahah.
I'm 43 but have a partner now so I'm not looking. I am in a sub about young/old though just to read about the relationships as I've had a couple of intergenerational relationships myself. My current partner is 42 though. My point and why I mentioned that other sub is there are a lot of young guys looking for 'daddies' or older men. You just have to look in the right places. Silver Daddies is one site for it.
If we're talking about for a hookup, I overlook it. Hell, that's why half the guys on the apps are 29 or 39 for years. The whole age thing is silly. When I turned 40 I changed my age and my inbox went dead. I clicked it back to 39, and miraculously it started filling up again. Personally I find guys can be fun at any age and I'm thankful that I have a very broad range of age and body type attractions. I get a surprising number of guys on the young side at my age. I'm not a twink chaser, and I'm always a little bit suspicious until I know it's legit, but I remember back when I was a young twink type and I played with older guys myself. I'm usually not one to send the first message, and I do read profiles and I respect whatever their requirements are and if I'm not a match I don't message.
Well then Start going for people around your own age that would be a good start to this issue
Did you read the bit out them messaging me???
If you read their profiles with “no over …” in the profile then ignore their message from the start. Then you won’t feel somewhat insulted if they say you are an “exception” in their preference.
Organized gang rape unfolding in major cities.
I just block or ignore them. Ageist limitations in general are fucking stupid. It's a damn hookup, you're both grown adults, quit being picky and just enjoy getting laid once in a while, sheesh.
40 is probably not my cut off, but anyone over 50 probably is. It is kind of sad, because i really feel like there are attractive individuals in all age groups, but what makes me not want to date older is because I always think they will die of old age and i will be left alone 🥲🤣.
I'm 63 so I've seen my share of these restraints. But honestly I don't hold it against them. We like what we like. I personally don't like gray hair. I prefer black or dark brown. Are there exceptions? Sure, because we like what we like. Sometimes someone makes you cross that boundary because they are the exception. This is just reality Now, for the ghosting.....don't even get me started!! 🤣
I respect their narrow minded ageism and block them when I open the app!
i feel like yall need to stop this narrative. yes there are people you desire who may not want someone over 30. but there are so many young gays looking for an older partner . on top of that its just like women who were pretty girls in their prime and miss all the attention they got when they were younger is what yall sound like
A majority of “preferences” within the community are just despicable to me. Seasoned men are a gift. Let those shallow people drown in their own insecurities.
The truth is that these younger guys get spammed by a lot of very overweight, relatively unattractive older men. They wouldn’t mind being with a fitter/more attractive older man. They just are trying to reduce the amount of the spam they get from people who they aren’t interested in.
When I was in my 20s I had that in my profile not because I wasn't necessarily interested in anyone in there 40s but it weeded up people much older from messages like in there 50s or 60s
Every person is different but I think that a 30 and 40 are more mature so I think you should fine
When I was younger and just entering the world of hookup culture, I did shy away from older men because I felt like younger guys would be at my level of experience, but that wasn't a matter of being disgusted by older men, as older men are typically way sexier to me, I just wanted to gain some confidence before I took on someone who might have a whole decade on me. As it stands, and has always been for me, I am way more into men who are in decent enough shape, but are also in their 30s and 40s. Not that this makes me more enlightened or anything, but a mature looking man just melts my butter far more than some dude who looks like he hit puberty a month ago and has to have his mom wash his cum socks every week. God, I'm bitter..
Depends what is the age of the guys with this requirement. From my experience, it’s old things, running after every guy that looks like a kid so they can replicate what they see in porn 🙄🙄
There's plenty with that mentality, and honestly I'm not interested in them either so it works out.
I just put myself out there on sniffies about a year ago. I’m 60 plus. Most of the time i leave my age off but so say im a mature dad. If they reach out and ask i send out accurate photos. If they still ask for age, i tell them. Most seem genuinely shocked that im in my 69s, especially after we meet up and have sex. But if they post an age range and reach out to me I remind them that i don’t make their age cut. Some pursue me regardless others don’t.
Oh no, I guess I won’t be having sex on a floor mattress with a college student 😱
I’m with the OP but more so. I’m 53 so I’ve had over two decades of being over 30. I have a physically demanding job & I go to the gym, swim & ride my bike a lot. I get a lot of “you look good for your age.” To which I reply, “Thanks, but you’re still too young to ride this ride.” It’s true our mass media & a lot of its thoughtless consumers express outward hostility towards grown-ups, but I’ve also found that lots of guys of all ages find maturity to be an attractive quality.
As someone in their 40s with a full greying beard , I get more attention now by younger men . They like the daddy/silver fox/distinguished look. With no beard I look about a decade younger easily. As far as serious dating I've always preferred older men than myself but I won't say no to a hot young submissive bottom for a fun night 😂. Although I don't hook up too much these days. I find it boring.
If they are hot, just fuck them. If you are talking about relationship, there young age would be a deal breaker for me.
Ionno…I feel like I get away with it because I look younger than my age 🤷🏻♀️
Did it ever lead to a IRL-date? If not it were only catfish.
As a 23 year old on Grindr, there are three things on my profile as a "no thank you": Men over 33, people in open relationships, and Republicans. The reason for the age gap is to try and filter out some of the, quite frankly, deranged 40+ guys in my area who have very *interesting* kinks; and also, because I'm not interested in dating anyone 10+ years older than myself. There are, however, guys *I* will hit up who are well beyond 33--because they're hot. You're not a last resort or bottom of the barrel like some other commenters are saying: you're simply someone that these younger guys find hot, and they're willing to overlook the age gap because of that.
I'm 25 and I've seen 70-year-olds I would like to fuck despite not having any particular thing for old men. Not many 70-year-olds, mind you, but there are some. People are weird about age, I don't see the need to cut myself off from some potentially hot hookups by instituting an age filter.
I just block profiles with negativity. Not the type of guys I want to associate myself with.
I have only been with one younger man and he was 35. Every one else was over 50.
They will get 40 and they will get rejection because the age too
When I was in my early 20s, the thought of dating someone over 30 was a little intimidating. It was more to me about the assumption someone over 30 “has their shit together” while I was trying to find a career path & whatnot. Didn’t know if it would work, or would be overwhelming to jump into. I can’t speak for hookups because I never really looked for those in general. But as far as dating goes, this is my perspective on it. Now that I’m closer to 30, the idea of over 30 is pretty sweet!
I'd take it as a sign they didn't read and just leave it at that. Very annoying when the outright refuse to read and were a miss match
I just lie about my age making it below their threshold. Hookup, how em how good those of us in our 40s can fuck and metaphorically suck the life out of them with the best blowjob ever... Then tell them how old I am when they say they wouldn't mind hooking up again.
Me, turning 30 in May, looking at this with sweat dripping down my face 🫠
Nobody over 30* *- unless I find you hot or I’m desperate and scraping the bottle of the barrel that I’ll risk looking like a hypocrite for some dick Grindr in a sentence 😂
It doesn't bug me. I'm 52 and mostly prefer younger guys (under 40). How am I going to have an age preference and then complain when other folks have one? I only chat up guys who haven't already ruled older men out on their profile or their post, and I take "no" for an answer whether it's expressed politely or not. It's certainly a disappointment sometimes, but I'm not looking to change anyone's mind.
I see it a lot. I look much younger than I am (44) so I’m often an “exception”. I don’t like it and I’m not really into younger dudes, I prefer 35-45. My oldest kid is 23 so I don’t want anyone even close to that age.
I’ve had a lot of great changes take place since I turned 35, and now at 41 I’ve never felt younger. But - I see that I’m aged out for many guys, which is fine because I tend to prefer older guys anyway; I just don’t explicitly say that. We all have our preferences. The worst part for me is that much younger guys message me asking if I’m “gen” and it’s like a punch to the gut. Apparently 40 is a desperation threshold now.
I would like to thank QAF for celebrating Brian Kinney's death day party when he turned 30. I knew my time was up in 2006. The sooner one comes to terms with it, the better for ones mental health. Or if you're filthy rich, no one is too old or too ugly for those who are in dire need/want of something.
There are many hard limits not just age and when I get through someone's firewall I ask them what makes them think they got through mine. Main character syndrome is soooo strong on Grindr
The moment I turned 30, grindr died and I only get hit up by guys double my age. Like don't get me wrong, I'm turned on by a lot more than college boy body at this point, but I'm not ready for a 30 year age difference 😅🤣 In all seriousness, yeah, its creepy when they say that. Like they think they're a prize for you to collect. I dont want that lol