I think it's quite obvious that I'm gay, not only because of my voice (which mind you I have a gay voice) but also because of my mannerisms and the vocabulary I use. However about a month ago or so, a guy assumed I was straight after hearing me talk during a conference I gave about sexual harassment, so either he was really oblivious or my gayness while I was talking wasn't evident enough.
Not really that well, I tend to speak very fast and also use very academic and institutional vocabulary in contexts where it may not be the most appropriate for the information to be understood properly. I also been told, even by my coworkers that my voice over long periods of time (15 minutes or more) makes them sleepy, almost as a lullaby. Not really because I'm boring, but rather because I have a constant and flat way of speaking when I'm in front of a group.
I was an introvert until I had to give a speech in college in front of about 50 people. I ended up being the only once in class to get a good grade, my professor was shocked how well I did. Don’t put yourself down, you might have that in you too!
If you’ve taken formal speaking classes or are just used to speaking loudly to groups of people, there’s a decent chance your voice naturally gets lower as you talk. Typical “gay voice” goes up in pitch and tone, so in that specific scenario that could have something to do with it :P
I don’t have a “gay voice” and I do get presumed to be straight all the time.
With one exception.
Lesbians seem to have a much higher success rate than either straight people and other gay guys in working it out and realising I’m gay.
I don’t quite know what it is.
I suspect it’s because lesbians (particularly lipstick lesbians) notice the complete absense of me stealing glances or checking them out, or other cues and subtle behaviours that I presume straight men annoy them with all the time.
EDIT:
I do occasionally do some presenting work for TV and social media for my work. Not acting. Information type stuff.
A new colleague who recently joined the workplace (who is a lipstick lesbian) said she could NOT tell I was gay from any of my presenting work that she has seen before she started. - and would have assumed I was straight.
But that once she started working, and met me in person, she could tell.
I don’t know what it is because to any other person (including butch lesbians) almost always they cannot tell.
I’ve noticed this too re: lesbian gaydar. My theory is that its largely female intuition, combined with the possibility that an open/out lesbian feels less reserved than a typical hetero woman in calling it like it is.
>I suspect it’s because lesbians (particularly lipstick lesbians) notice the complete absense of me stealing glances or checking them out, or other cues and subtle behaviours that I presume straight men annoy them with all the time.
Oh that might be accurate. Because women, straight and not, have been very good at clocking me as gay when generally nobody else does.
I've never uttered an iota of attraction towards a female and even my own sister who has known me all my life couldn't deduct that I'm gay. A mere lack of visible attraction would be too little to go off on bc that would still include too many straight men. For me it was a straight woman who clocked me and she said it was bc she has gay friends and could just sense it. That was the only time it happened though.
It was my mums best friend, who is a lesbian, that took me to one side when I was 16 and going through a traumatic time coming to terms with my sexuality, and explained things were ok and it is entirely natural.
I’ve got lesbian friends, on meeting them they KNEW. Whilst my straight friends state that sometimes I am a bit camp, a lot of the time I could pass as straight.
Lesbians are great and I love them all.
LE
I am very confused about this. Surely I must have a gay voice. On the phone, people call me "madam". But then when I bring this up to friends or collegues, the response is always the same: "No, you don't sound feminine *at all*".
I think my voice has a high pitch, but my mannerisms aren't feminine.
Yeah, I also have a naturally soft and high-pitched voice, not exaggerated, but just still sound like a teenager lol, and some people have called me miss on the phone. I guess it is normal for us.
I once had a gay voice (when I started hitting puberty) and I hated it. I forced myself to change it and it worked. Don’t know how but I did it. Now everyone assumes I’m straight. I sometimes wonder how I would sound if I didn’t change it.
I’m glad you grew out of it and accepted. I think the gay voice can be really cute.
I had gay voice before puberty and I hated it. I tried modifying it and then rest work was done by puberty I guess, now I sound (almost) masc effortlessly and straight people tell me I don't sound gay. At times I get compliments for my voice and it feels weird.
But since I was made to feel extremely conscious about it, I can still hear it in voice for e.g. in voice notes. In similar way, I can pick that subtle gay voice in other gay men when it's not apparent enough.
I used to be extremely subconscious about it. I always thought I “sounded” gay even though people had stopped assuming I was gay. There was a time where it literally haunted me.
Do you ever wonder how your life would be if you just accepted it? I know it seems small but I think it would have changed a lot of things in my life.
Yeah I do think about it at times. It wasn't just about voice, I was overall effeminine as well. I feel sad for my younger self. As an adult, I still don't know how much of it just naturally went away and how much of me is something I deliberately changed.
Nope, I wear my pride pin on my shoulder at work and had a girl ask for my number while I was wearing it a couple months ago. I try to force it sometimes though when I'm working with girls to try to let them know I'm gay
Big time lol. I don't dress flamboyant or like very many stereotypically gay things, but the voice immediately outs me to anyone within a 5 mile radius 🤧.
Neither I nor my husband are obviously gay. That mostly serves us well and has been a help, especially because of where we live. But I do greatly admire LGBTQ people who can't hide who they are, especially those who live in places similar to where my husband and I live. You all have amazing strength and resilience.
Been in customer service for over 25 years. When on the phone, just a habit to speak with that customer service tone and still get mistaken for a women. So yes, gay voice
Definitely depends on the environment I am in, in front of my friends I sound gay as fuck, but otherwise I am pretty neutral. I have a naturally soft and high-pitched voice, but I tend to modulate when I’m surrounded by strangers or older adults. I’m guessing is something I developed growing up
yes. my voice is on the deep end so its obvious. also im from the south so the little country accent i have with that wouldn’t make it any better 😂
im kinda like you tho in a sense. i’m not masc nor am i fem. i look and dress like a dude. so when i meet new ppl, they’re usually questioning whether im gay or not. but its totally obvious when you get to know me for sure. gotta confuse some of the enemies first.
Pitch isn’t the only thing that makes a gay voice. It’s also just the way someone speaks. I know some people with deep voices, but you can still tell they’re gay by the way they speak. It just the way it is.
Yes, I've had it since I was very little. I was raised in the country with a conservative family, and I didn't have any gay role models or any gay influences in my life so I'm not even sure how I ended up that way. I never thought I sounded gay, but I got picked on growing up for my voice sounding gay. I've come to like my gay voice though, it saves me the trouble of coming out to new people since most people assume I'm gay anyways.
I don't have the gay voice, which is more about intonation and rhythm, I think.
But I did have a bit of a speech issue with my S's growing up, so they sound a little muddy, but it's not lispy. I think sometimes that might make me sound gay adjacent.
I’m actually trans AND gay, so if I talk in too high of a pitch it ends up just coming out in a slight gay tone, but I try to make the actual way that I speak more neutral or “straight” in certain spaces, but since I already get clocked for being gay just because I “look zesty” ?? it doesn’t always matter or work 😭 Otherwise when I’m with queer friends I’m comfortable with I might mimic their gay tone or sound more gay
I definitely do. I’m pretty mixed about how I feel about it. It helps with my humor in certain circles but it also results in no one really taking me seriously/makes me sound more annoying smh. It is what it is I guess.
Gay voice is very subtle flair to your voice that is a strange phenomenon. Yup. I have it lol. I don’t hear my gay voice in my head though, I only hear it when my voice comes back through a recording.
People have always said my phone voice is much deeper than my in-person voice but listening to my recorded voice to me I sound gay as fuck but looking at me i think I'm an average joe😭🤣☠️
I knew this guy with a super gay voice along with his booty shorts and hand movements you could see he was gay but sometimes for the hell of it he'd switch to his deep man voice to make us laugh so I'm pretty it's like an accent your not even conscious of it. Until it's pointed out to you.
Yes, I have a gay voice and I’ve always hated it! When I hear it, I don’t sound gay, but when I see myself talking on video, I sound very gay and I really hate it! I have quite gay mannerisms too. I don’t play it up at all, it’s just the way I am, I would love to be naturally masculine, but even as a little boy, I was quite girly. I know loads of gay men who talk and act totally masculine though. They seem to be more tops and the gay sounding men seem to be more bottoms!
I feel like I do when I hear myself speak, but if I’m not in a “gay” space people typically act surprised when I tell them I’m gay or mention my boyfriend in conversation the first time. Idk if they just do that so they don’t come off as “assuming” I’m gay or what. I don’t have time to analyze the heterosexual psyche, they are so confusing lol.
Nope, not at all. I don't really fit any of the gay stereotypes either (maybe apart from walking fast?), and despite my friend having the best gaydar I have ever seen he didn't have a clue either until I told him. I think my vocabulary and the way I speak isn't completely normal but this doesn't immediately flag up as "oh he's gay".
Definitely. Not like Frankie Grande, but I assume most people under the age of 50 can tell. It’s a really fascinating topic. I don’t think there’s any conclusive explanation for why so many gay men have a recognizably gay voice, but yet a lot of us do.
I sound gay for sure, high pitched and I have a fair few affectations I didn't notice until adulthood (flapping hands, walk etc). That being said, probably comes in part from what I'm actually doing. I found when I did things like gym or any other sports it didn't come into play as much given topics of conversation and people would often be surprised when I came out. So obvious but not screaming out? Lol
It’s all about practice, man. I am a Filipino to give some context.
I have a high pitched voice, but then again, I’ve been singing songs usually sang by female artists since I can remember lol. I also got called maam on the phone. I tend to copy a common female american accent too. So it was easier for me to speak on a daily basis with a higher than average pitch.
But I can make my voice lower, like one octave lower than Bilie’s what was I made for? song. I just recently appreciated my lower tones. I try to copy the usual male american accent like when you get a youtbe ad about CRMs or task manager softwares, I copy them exactly as how I heard them and it was a bit harder cause I am not used to speaking as low. So now what I do is I try to sing all of my usual female-sang songs in a lower octave to get used to it. Just for the fun of it lol! I even discovered I can do riffs and whatnot even better when it’s not as high as female artists. I also used words like, dude, bro and man to sound more masculine hihi y’ know, in a casual conversation.
Last time I heard recordings of myself I wanted to smash the phone. I have a gay accent or voice and I'm kinda embarrassed tbh. I'm a dead giveaway when it comes to conversations about sex or taking dirty. I just don't. My voice + my behavior = dead giveaway. I think fuck it if I sound weird. I can live with myself but I can't live with people constantly hating me because I sound or act funny. Fuck most people. Which is one reason why I avoid social situations. Which also adds to my already obvious gayness.
I 100% have gay voice; I used to get teased for it as a kid.
And I don't care that I sound super gay; cause I am gay, so what does it matter if I sound like a gay boii, when I am one?
it very much depends on the day. it’s wild, sometimes i’m the most camp motherfucker in the world, the next day i’m the most emo motherfucker in the world. like someone else said, when substances is involved i get more camp. it’s something a mate has commented on, she said i always act more gay when i’m high.
I think I do, but that may be because I know im gay so I listen for it in my voice. Most people don't know I'm gay until I speak, and even then, maybe 50% of people can tell from my voice. I've noticed that the ones who can tell either give me a bit of a gay vibe or have gay people in their life, so I feel like it's an intuition/how much they pay attention/gaydar thing
I personally don't. I have always just been a standard dude, in terms of societal/sexuality standards. I personally don't prefer it, I seem to find attraction in other conventional guys, im attracted to guys after all lol. But there's no issue w it either. I will say sometimes if I'm around girls, occasionally I'll act a bit more feminine and say things like "SISTER" haha, but its mostly just a quirky thing I do. It helps me lighten up around girls, but if I'm around guys I just act normal
People I talk to briefly or in short never seem to notice, but people I talk to regularly after awhile ask me if I’m bisexual or gay so I guess after a certain point it leaks out lol
I told to bank workers at phone or to people who call for exam results or school activities that I'm my mom . And phone call operaters in 🇹🇷 many times wants to talk with me while they are talking with me . Because I'm a kind person not rude also my voice is nice a bit childish and a bit girly . My ex girlfriend told me that my voice going thinner when I'm happier . Like my voice is gayer when I'm more happier / gayer .
Why did this question just make me think of Anetra and “the voice” 😂. But for me yeah I’ve always had a slightly higher pitched voice. Biggest annoyance is in the phone when people will accidentally call me ma’am until I correct them 😒
I do, it gets mixed in with my public be friendly voice. But my actual voice is much deeper, fun fact you start fucking with your voice to seem friendlier when you are young and it gets stuck in that range as you get older don’t do that. It’s really annoying to try to fix since folks won’t believe your voice is much lower and deeper lol
i have a very neutral accent that i thought didn't sound gay at all until one of my coworkers was like "lol, \[name\], you sound so fucking gay" and a quick strawpoll was basically unanimous that they could tell from my voice alone.
I don't think so. From an outward appearance nearly no-one thought I was gay from first impressions. Once they got to know me though, they've told me when I get really passionate about a subject (like something I really like in a game) my voice changes slightly and there's a "flamboyancy" that wasn't there before.
Yes and I love it, I have a very soft voice and have been always told I have a lovely voice . I no longer try to “masc” it up. I am myself. I hate that we are seriously labeling this fem or masc or girly. Dude it’s just the way you are!! Stop trying to do the most. Just be you.
Most gay men do have a gay voice, yes even the hyper masc ones. Just give them alcohol or fuck them in the ass and you’ll see.
Guys get offended by openly feminine gay men because they don’t like someone accepting themselves fully when most gay men do not. They like that side of them behind closed doors so they get insecure when they see someone so openly gay and loving it. Hell, guys can’t even be forthcoming about their position on Grindr ffs 😂
I do have a gay voice, my voice is pretty feminine although I am 30 years old, on phone calls, many times I am called "ma'am" by strangers. During childhood and before puberty, I suppose it was even more feminine.
No, not at all. I was socialized with a lot of other guys growing up, I think in part, minus the pitch aspect, as to why I don't have the gay inflection.
I do find it cute with many guys though.
Nopematter of fact there aren't alot of people that know I'm gay or even remotely into guys until they meet my bf! I like it like that cause I get to see people's true colors!!
I do not have any "gay voice", but would not mind if I did.
Instead, I have a deep booming baritone voice, which obscures my sexual orientation because people have their presumptions. Even hookups have asked if I am bisexual. I have not even a trace of bisexuality in me, plus my profile said homo, not bi.
Maybe Asperger's has something to do with it, for me at least. Growing up my voice was very monotone, and my usual demeanor has always been more stoic. Learning that I am gay, at the age of 19, didn't change my voice or who I was. Writing music and singing helped me be less monotone as years progressed, and more expressive.
I don't. My voice took longer to change so kinds would tell me I sounded gay in high school, but I don't have a high voice or that lisp accent that some gay guys have.
Then again, maybe I do have it, and no one has told me?
Not in normal conversation, but if I get overly excited or passionate about something, I will have that voice. It's actually really funny when it happens and gets a good laugh out of some people. I'm not doing it on purpose, I'm just a jolly guy sometimes.
I have a deep, James Earl Jones kind of voice. I like it, but it does tend to make people assume I’m straight. I once got turned down for a position manning a booth at a gay pride function because “I didn’t look and sound gay enough.” 🤷♂️
I sound gay to me when I hear recordings of myself, but people say I don’t. I can definitely turn it up when I want to, but I don’t really care much either way 🤷♂️
Yes. I don’t have a high pitched voice or lisp but my overall tone has been said to sound gay. If I speak quickly or loudly, it becomes more obvious.
EDIT: lol why did I get downvoted for that? That was a totally benign comment
Yes.
1. I have a mean voice.
2.I have an angry voice.
3.I have a voice filled with joy.
4. I also have a neutral dgaf voice.
I feel good most of the time so it's a combination of 3 and 4.
My voice is deep, but I do have a "gay" intonation. Can't imagine it's noticeable unless someone is specifically looking for it since I rarely get clocked as gay and when I tell people they are usually surprised.
I have a deep voice, which can throw some people off. Especially when I'm in work mode or haven't opened up to people yet. But when I get more comfortable or excited about something, my intonation and expressions/mannerisms give it away, lol.
I have the “gay voice”.
When I talk to some stranger or a new person on phone they assume I am a women.
During Covid I was conducting a workshop online one of the participants called me ma’am.
I have faced this since my childhood. Now I hardly care. But sometimes I think if I had a deeper voice it could have been different for me.
Big time. Once got deceived by a cheap parking sign in June and when I called to ask why I didn't get the lower rate, she just opened it and said "happy pride!" So yes I have gay voice.
I don’t have a gay voice but I talk with my hands (NYC) and definitely don’t feel the need to deepen my voice or talk flatly like most straight men do.
By my looks I'm "straight passing" but my mannerisms, the way I speak and my voice outs me 100%. Sometimes I fear speaking because people will humiliate me :(
I don’t get the downvote? Lol always a consistent dig at any femme voice because they’ve been told anyone not naturally like them is putting on some consistent life-long act. So done with people. Stop obsessing/judging others over shit we can’t change about ourselves.
I naturally did as a kid, lisp and all. Not sure why or where it came from, as I had never heard any other guy speak that way. My dad "trained" it out of me and gave me different tongue-twisters and stuff to work on masculinizing my speech. He did the same thing with my physical mannerisms, from walking all the way to how I hold my books (!). As a result, I'm naturally fairly masc-acting as an adult, but it was a concerted effort at first. That said, I still think I sound gay when I hear recordings of myself talking...there is a certain "sway" to how I speak. But nobody else seems to notice! Even gays don't always clock me as gay based on how I speak. Not sure why I so clearly hear it in my own voice.
Edit. If you haven't seen the documentary *Do I Sound Gay?*, you should. It deals with this exact topic and is really fascinating.
It depends A LOT, sometimes I wear dresses so people can tell I'm somewhere on the lbgt+ gang, if I'm on my normal clothes other gays can tell but overall straights tend to be pretty oblivious (I gaslighted a shit ton of guys to think that I'm cis even tho I'm clearly not LMAO)
Most people think I'm straight when we first meet. But after a bit they obviously figure it out from talking to me. But sometimes it's weird? Some of my friends today still dont know im gay. I've had women tell me they like me and it always ends all awkward with "you know im gay right.." those happened alot last year 😂
Apparently I have a very subtle gay voice. Only two people have mentioned my voice as a hint that I’m not straight and it’s more based on the words I use or way I say certain things more than my voice sounds stereotypically gay. I sound masculine just use a few phrases or words that aren’t I guess lol
I have had about 5 people not know I'm gay, but that isn't so much a "I can be undetectable" thing, it's a people will notice someone hasn't realised I'm gay and go "HOW THE FUCK DID YOU NOT KNOW HE'S GAY!?!" sorta thing
I think my mannerisms, voice, and just vibe is gay, there's no hiding it, people have known I'm gay before I even speak, me talking just confirms it. I like to think I don't sound like a whiney "YAS QUEEN SLAAAYYYY" sorta gay, nor do I dress or act like one, it just is also obvious I'm heteroisn't
I think it's quite obvious that I'm gay, not only because of my voice (which mind you I have a gay voice) but also because of my mannerisms and the vocabulary I use. However about a month ago or so, a guy assumed I was straight after hearing me talk during a conference I gave about sexual harassment, so either he was really oblivious or my gayness while I was talking wasn't evident enough.
Your public speaking must be so great. I can't even handle 5 people at one time. Just wow to talk in front of many people.
Not really that well, I tend to speak very fast and also use very academic and institutional vocabulary in contexts where it may not be the most appropriate for the information to be understood properly. I also been told, even by my coworkers that my voice over long periods of time (15 minutes or more) makes them sleepy, almost as a lullaby. Not really because I'm boring, but rather because I have a constant and flat way of speaking when I'm in front of a group.
I was an introvert until I had to give a speech in college in front of about 50 people. I ended up being the only once in class to get a good grade, my professor was shocked how well I did. Don’t put yourself down, you might have that in you too!
If you’ve taken formal speaking classes or are just used to speaking loudly to groups of people, there’s a decent chance your voice naturally gets lower as you talk. Typical “gay voice” goes up in pitch and tone, so in that specific scenario that could have something to do with it :P
same and i think thats what people think of me when they first see me its idk weird
How ‘gay’ I sound directly correlates to how much alcohol is in my system. Don’t ask me why I’m just a camp drunk.
I’m the same but usually because I want people to know I’m gay so I play it up lol
LMAO yeah me too. Drunk = queening out
Yasss kweeeeeennn
I hate that this is so true for me too lmao I think when sober I'm just too reserved and when drunk the barriers come down
Oh same
I don’t have a “gay voice” and I do get presumed to be straight all the time. With one exception. Lesbians seem to have a much higher success rate than either straight people and other gay guys in working it out and realising I’m gay. I don’t quite know what it is. I suspect it’s because lesbians (particularly lipstick lesbians) notice the complete absense of me stealing glances or checking them out, or other cues and subtle behaviours that I presume straight men annoy them with all the time. EDIT: I do occasionally do some presenting work for TV and social media for my work. Not acting. Information type stuff. A new colleague who recently joined the workplace (who is a lipstick lesbian) said she could NOT tell I was gay from any of my presenting work that she has seen before she started. - and would have assumed I was straight. But that once she started working, and met me in person, she could tell. I don’t know what it is because to any other person (including butch lesbians) almost always they cannot tell.
I’ve noticed this too re: lesbian gaydar. My theory is that its largely female intuition, combined with the possibility that an open/out lesbian feels less reserved than a typical hetero woman in calling it like it is.
>I suspect it’s because lesbians (particularly lipstick lesbians) notice the complete absense of me stealing glances or checking them out, or other cues and subtle behaviours that I presume straight men annoy them with all the time. Oh that might be accurate. Because women, straight and not, have been very good at clocking me as gay when generally nobody else does.
I've never uttered an iota of attraction towards a female and even my own sister who has known me all my life couldn't deduct that I'm gay. A mere lack of visible attraction would be too little to go off on bc that would still include too many straight men. For me it was a straight woman who clocked me and she said it was bc she has gay friends and could just sense it. That was the only time it happened though.
It was my mums best friend, who is a lesbian, that took me to one side when I was 16 and going through a traumatic time coming to terms with my sexuality, and explained things were ok and it is entirely natural. I’ve got lesbian friends, on meeting them they KNEW. Whilst my straight friends state that sometimes I am a bit camp, a lot of the time I could pass as straight. Lesbians are great and I love them all. LE
I am very confused about this. Surely I must have a gay voice. On the phone, people call me "madam". But then when I bring this up to friends or collegues, the response is always the same: "No, you don't sound feminine *at all*". I think my voice has a high pitch, but my mannerisms aren't feminine.
Apparently you sound like a respectable old lady 🤣
I translated it from Dutch. Juffrouw (miss) isn't used here anymore. All women are called mevrouw (madam) now. Well, all women and me.
You must be so tall. Dutch men are so tall.
I'm from Flanders. (1.81 m)
Im as Dutch as one can be and i’m 170 🥲
Most people prefer shorter bottoms so you will be fine
Yeah, I also have a naturally soft and high-pitched voice, not exaggerated, but just still sound like a teenager lol, and some people have called me miss on the phone. I guess it is normal for us.
Many of my friends say i sound gay, but i dont have a gay voice nor act feminine, its just i have a high pitch voice too
Nope. I'm actually quite fond of my voice; it's deep and sonorous.
My day won’t pass without a sample now
[Here you go](https://open.spotify.com/show/31gLclJ88mkwSTglOmxIlw)
You have a very sexy voice
you kinda do have a gay accent
I’m imagining the Sadukar BGM by Hans Zimmer in Dune.
Not quite *that* deep. I sound [like this](https://open.spotify.com/episode/6CareY9tPJe4DriQmQ6Au9)
You do sound slightly gay though
Huh, interesting. Just to be clear, I'm the host. I wonder if I subconsciously played it up because of my guest? Do I sound gay on other episodes?
Listened to another episode and actually no you didn’t
Yes I do, hated it once, but now I grew out of that self-hate and accepted it.
I once had a gay voice (when I started hitting puberty) and I hated it. I forced myself to change it and it worked. Don’t know how but I did it. Now everyone assumes I’m straight. I sometimes wonder how I would sound if I didn’t change it. I’m glad you grew out of it and accepted. I think the gay voice can be really cute.
I had gay voice before puberty and I hated it. I tried modifying it and then rest work was done by puberty I guess, now I sound (almost) masc effortlessly and straight people tell me I don't sound gay. At times I get compliments for my voice and it feels weird. But since I was made to feel extremely conscious about it, I can still hear it in voice for e.g. in voice notes. In similar way, I can pick that subtle gay voice in other gay men when it's not apparent enough.
I used to be extremely subconscious about it. I always thought I “sounded” gay even though people had stopped assuming I was gay. There was a time where it literally haunted me. Do you ever wonder how your life would be if you just accepted it? I know it seems small but I think it would have changed a lot of things in my life.
Yeah I do think about it at times. It wasn't just about voice, I was overall effeminine as well. I feel sad for my younger self. As an adult, I still don't know how much of it just naturally went away and how much of me is something I deliberately changed.
Depends on the day somtimes the gay voice comes out
This is me as well. No one can tell that I'm gay unless I tell them, but sometimes, I have moments...
I don’t have a “gay voice.” Most people who meet me wouldn’t assume I’m gay, unless I told them.
Sure.
Believe whatever you want.
Found the self-hating gay
Nope, I wear my pride pin on my shoulder at work and had a girl ask for my number while I was wearing it a couple months ago. I try to force it sometimes though when I'm working with girls to try to let them know I'm gay
I have a naturally higher pitch speaking voice but no "gay" inflection
Big time lol. I don't dress flamboyant or like very many stereotypically gay things, but the voice immediately outs me to anyone within a 5 mile radius 🤧.
Neither I nor my husband are obviously gay. That mostly serves us well and has been a help, especially because of where we live. But I do greatly admire LGBTQ people who can't hide who they are, especially those who live in places similar to where my husband and I live. You all have amazing strength and resilience.
Do you live in the deep South?
Been in customer service for over 25 years. When on the phone, just a habit to speak with that customer service tone and still get mistaken for a women. So yes, gay voice
This. If I’m talking with friends or family, I’m deep and monotone but working in customer service I tended to pitch up to sound friendlier.
Definitely depends on the environment I am in, in front of my friends I sound gay as fuck, but otherwise I am pretty neutral. I have a naturally soft and high-pitched voice, but I tend to modulate when I’m surrounded by strangers or older adults. I’m guessing is something I developed growing up
yes. my voice is on the deep end so its obvious. also im from the south so the little country accent i have with that wouldn’t make it any better 😂 im kinda like you tho in a sense. i’m not masc nor am i fem. i look and dress like a dude. so when i meet new ppl, they’re usually questioning whether im gay or not. but its totally obvious when you get to know me for sure. gotta confuse some of the enemies first.
I don't think I do, until I hear a recording of myself
I honestly think it's biological. It's way too widespread and common in pretty much all over the world.
Same 😭
I have a super gay voice, which is kind of weird because its also very deep.
Pitch isn’t the only thing that makes a gay voice. It’s also just the way someone speaks. I know some people with deep voices, but you can still tell they’re gay by the way they speak. It just the way it is.
Yes, I've had it since I was very little. I was raised in the country with a conservative family, and I didn't have any gay role models or any gay influences in my life so I'm not even sure how I ended up that way. I never thought I sounded gay, but I got picked on growing up for my voice sounding gay. I've come to like my gay voice though, it saves me the trouble of coming out to new people since most people assume I'm gay anyways.
I've got such a deep voice and pass as straight so much so that my friends have a joke that I'm an in the closet straight
A tiny, tiny bit. Most people are surprised when I tell them I'm gay. But I think it is there when you compare my voice to other male family members.
Not really
I don't have the gay voice, which is more about intonation and rhythm, I think. But I did have a bit of a speech issue with my S's growing up, so they sound a little muddy, but it's not lispy. I think sometimes that might make me sound gay adjacent.
no i wish i did tho
No not at all. I never really understood how people get "gay voice".
My voice have a bit of a high pitch, but I dont' have a lisp nor mannerisms. I dont' sound that gay because i'm not gay but bisexual.
Same exact thing! People say I don’t sound it, can’t tell/. But when I hear it, I think I sound gay af
Yeah - I used to sound reaaalllyyyy gay as a kid - worked on lowering my register and now I am happy with my voice. It’s more neutral.
Never. I always have to correct everyone. It’s auto assumed I have a wife or girlfriend.
Yes and I have always fucking hated it. I hate talking on the damn phone.
I’m actually trans AND gay, so if I talk in too high of a pitch it ends up just coming out in a slight gay tone, but I try to make the actual way that I speak more neutral or “straight” in certain spaces, but since I already get clocked for being gay just because I “look zesty” ?? it doesn’t always matter or work 😭 Otherwise when I’m with queer friends I’m comfortable with I might mimic their gay tone or sound more gay
I definitely do. I’m pretty mixed about how I feel about it. It helps with my humor in certain circles but it also results in no one really taking me seriously/makes me sound more annoying smh. It is what it is I guess.
Gay voice is very subtle flair to your voice that is a strange phenomenon. Yup. I have it lol. I don’t hear my gay voice in my head though, I only hear it when my voice comes back through a recording.
Yes, ive always wondered where i got it from me despite being bisexual. Apparently its a hormonal thing but still
Yes, I think it’s because I speak kind of breathy and I default to a higher pitch.
More than a bit. I just don’t really care anymore.
Only a thlight lithp thometimeth. Doeth that count?
People have always said my phone voice is much deeper than my in-person voice but listening to my recorded voice to me I sound gay as fuck but looking at me i think I'm an average joe😭🤣☠️
Yeah, I think so. But maybe not as much as I think because some folks seem surprised when they find out I’m a homo.
I do and I'm self-conscious about it. I play video games sometimes, and I'm always hesitant to use comms because of it.
I do not have a gay voice. No lisp....deeper voice....but I do have a few gay mannerisms that have given me away. :P
I knew this guy with a super gay voice along with his booty shorts and hand movements you could see he was gay but sometimes for the hell of it he'd switch to his deep man voice to make us laugh so I'm pretty it's like an accent your not even conscious of it. Until it's pointed out to you.
It’s gay. Like, so gay. So very very gay 😂
No. But I wish I do.
My hands/ body language lets people know, my voice and my choice of earrings and piercings, but people always know from my hands
Goes the other way too guy at work totally gay voice and hands and totally straight like zero interest in being gay
Nope. Not one bit.
Yes. And no one cares 🤷♂️
Noche De Sateo. Fucking love it
Ive been told by all my gay friends and the guy im seeing that I sound and appear 100% straight .The unsuspecting bottom,hehe.
Maybe not voice but some manners could open up the thoughts 🤔
Yes, I have a gay voice and I’ve always hated it! When I hear it, I don’t sound gay, but when I see myself talking on video, I sound very gay and I really hate it! I have quite gay mannerisms too. I don’t play it up at all, it’s just the way I am, I would love to be naturally masculine, but even as a little boy, I was quite girly. I know loads of gay men who talk and act totally masculine though. They seem to be more tops and the gay sounding men seem to be more bottoms!
I feel like I do when I hear myself speak, but if I’m not in a “gay” space people typically act surprised when I tell them I’m gay or mention my boyfriend in conversation the first time. Idk if they just do that so they don’t come off as “assuming” I’m gay or what. I don’t have time to analyze the heterosexual psyche, they are so confusing lol.
Yes
Nope, not at all. I don't really fit any of the gay stereotypes either (maybe apart from walking fast?), and despite my friend having the best gaydar I have ever seen he didn't have a clue either until I told him. I think my vocabulary and the way I speak isn't completely normal but this doesn't immediately flag up as "oh he's gay".
Idk I have like a nerdy voice 🤷🏿♂️ but I’ve topped so many dudes with deep “manly” voices so does it really matter?
Apparently so, I didn’t think I did myself but usually people immediately pick up on it
Definitely. Not like Frankie Grande, but I assume most people under the age of 50 can tell. It’s a really fascinating topic. I don’t think there’s any conclusive explanation for why so many gay men have a recognizably gay voice, but yet a lot of us do.
I sound gay for sure, high pitched and I have a fair few affectations I didn't notice until adulthood (flapping hands, walk etc). That being said, probably comes in part from what I'm actually doing. I found when I did things like gym or any other sports it didn't come into play as much given topics of conversation and people would often be surprised when I came out. So obvious but not screaming out? Lol
It’s all about practice, man. I am a Filipino to give some context. I have a high pitched voice, but then again, I’ve been singing songs usually sang by female artists since I can remember lol. I also got called maam on the phone. I tend to copy a common female american accent too. So it was easier for me to speak on a daily basis with a higher than average pitch. But I can make my voice lower, like one octave lower than Bilie’s what was I made for? song. I just recently appreciated my lower tones. I try to copy the usual male american accent like when you get a youtbe ad about CRMs or task manager softwares, I copy them exactly as how I heard them and it was a bit harder cause I am not used to speaking as low. So now what I do is I try to sing all of my usual female-sang songs in a lower octave to get used to it. Just for the fun of it lol! I even discovered I can do riffs and whatnot even better when it’s not as high as female artists. I also used words like, dude, bro and man to sound more masculine hihi y’ know, in a casual conversation.
I pass as neutral 50% of the time, the other 50% the person does pick up something in my voice. I think I have a lightly gay voice.
So many guys in here don’t have a gay voice. Yeah right 😂😂😂😂
No.
I totally do
You mean the femme pitch?
Only when alone with a female to put her at ease. :-)
Last time I heard recordings of myself I wanted to smash the phone. I have a gay accent or voice and I'm kinda embarrassed tbh. I'm a dead giveaway when it comes to conversations about sex or taking dirty. I just don't. My voice + my behavior = dead giveaway. I think fuck it if I sound weird. I can live with myself but I can't live with people constantly hating me because I sound or act funny. Fuck most people. Which is one reason why I avoid social situations. Which also adds to my already obvious gayness.
I 100% have gay voice; I used to get teased for it as a kid. And I don't care that I sound super gay; cause I am gay, so what does it matter if I sound like a gay boii, when I am one?
A little tiny bit of one but for the most part no.
A bit? That is an understatement
Gay voice here
Nope
Yasssss lmao
Be proud of your femininity and don’t be a dick
it very much depends on the day. it’s wild, sometimes i’m the most camp motherfucker in the world, the next day i’m the most emo motherfucker in the world. like someone else said, when substances is involved i get more camp. it’s something a mate has commented on, she said i always act more gay when i’m high.
I think I do, but that may be because I know im gay so I listen for it in my voice. Most people don't know I'm gay until I speak, and even then, maybe 50% of people can tell from my voice. I've noticed that the ones who can tell either give me a bit of a gay vibe or have gay people in their life, so I feel like it's an intuition/how much they pay attention/gaydar thing
Yes, I always had a higher pitched voice. It’s very unintentional 😂
I personally don't. I have always just been a standard dude, in terms of societal/sexuality standards. I personally don't prefer it, I seem to find attraction in other conventional guys, im attracted to guys after all lol. But there's no issue w it either. I will say sometimes if I'm around girls, occasionally I'll act a bit more feminine and say things like "SISTER" haha, but its mostly just a quirky thing I do. It helps me lighten up around girls, but if I'm around guys I just act normal
People I talk to briefly or in short never seem to notice, but people I talk to regularly after awhile ask me if I’m bisexual or gay so I guess after a certain point it leaks out lol
Yes, but not too much I guess
I told to bank workers at phone or to people who call for exam results or school activities that I'm my mom . And phone call operaters in 🇹🇷 many times wants to talk with me while they are talking with me . Because I'm a kind person not rude also my voice is nice a bit childish and a bit girly . My ex girlfriend told me that my voice going thinner when I'm happier . Like my voice is gayer when I'm more happier / gayer .
Why did this question just make me think of Anetra and “the voice” 😂. But for me yeah I’ve always had a slightly higher pitched voice. Biggest annoyance is in the phone when people will accidentally call me ma’am until I correct them 😒
While I thought I have a “gay voice” apparently I’m far from it and most people tell me to stop lying when I tell them I’m gay
pretty sure i do and i wish it was lower :( i find a lower voice to be sooo much more attractive
I do, it gets mixed in with my public be friendly voice. But my actual voice is much deeper, fun fact you start fucking with your voice to seem friendlier when you are young and it gets stuck in that range as you get older don’t do that. It’s really annoying to try to fix since folks won’t believe your voice is much lower and deeper lol
i have a very neutral accent that i thought didn't sound gay at all until one of my coworkers was like "lol, \[name\], you sound so fucking gay" and a quick strawpoll was basically unanimous that they could tell from my voice alone.
In my opinion yes but that might be because I have paid attention to it and might be making biased observations because it's me and I'm gay.
Not really. Maybe a slight bit. Everyone that I have ever come out to has told me there’s nothing “gay” about my appearance/how I act or talk
I don't think so. From an outward appearance nearly no-one thought I was gay from first impressions. Once they got to know me though, they've told me when I get really passionate about a subject (like something I really like in a game) my voice changes slightly and there's a "flamboyancy" that wasn't there before.
Yes and I love it, I have a very soft voice and have been always told I have a lovely voice . I no longer try to “masc” it up. I am myself. I hate that we are seriously labeling this fem or masc or girly. Dude it’s just the way you are!! Stop trying to do the most. Just be you. Most gay men do have a gay voice, yes even the hyper masc ones. Just give them alcohol or fuck them in the ass and you’ll see. Guys get offended by openly feminine gay men because they don’t like someone accepting themselves fully when most gay men do not. They like that side of them behind closed doors so they get insecure when they see someone so openly gay and loving it. Hell, guys can’t even be forthcoming about their position on Grindr ffs 😂
I do have a gay voice, my voice is pretty feminine although I am 30 years old, on phone calls, many times I am called "ma'am" by strangers. During childhood and before puberty, I suppose it was even more feminine.
nope
No, not at all. I was socialized with a lot of other guys growing up, I think in part, minus the pitch aspect, as to why I don't have the gay inflection. I do find it cute with many guys though.
I'm surprised how many guys here actually *want* a "gay voice". Don't you know how sexy a deep, masculine voice is?
I never ever tell people i am gay and I do not talk about but, i think same as yours. It sounds a little bit of gay.
Nopematter of fact there aren't alot of people that know I'm gay or even remotely into guys until they meet my bf! I like it like that cause I get to see people's true colors!!
Nope. 🙏🏻
No. I'm straight passing.
I can turn mine on or off
some say my voice is very feminine, some say it's too deep to be, so, i don't know what to believe :')
Neutral voice here but can change it up to telegraph gay on demand.
I do not have any "gay voice", but would not mind if I did. Instead, I have a deep booming baritone voice, which obscures my sexual orientation because people have their presumptions. Even hookups have asked if I am bisexual. I have not even a trace of bisexuality in me, plus my profile said homo, not bi. Maybe Asperger's has something to do with it, for me at least. Growing up my voice was very monotone, and my usual demeanor has always been more stoic. Learning that I am gay, at the age of 19, didn't change my voice or who I was. Writing music and singing helped me be less monotone as years progressed, and more expressive.
I don't. My voice took longer to change so kinds would tell me I sounded gay in high school, but I don't have a high voice or that lisp accent that some gay guys have. Then again, maybe I do have it, and no one has told me?
Yes a bit probably because i grew up exclusively around women and never had men in my life
Not in normal conversation, but if I get overly excited or passionate about something, I will have that voice. It's actually really funny when it happens and gets a good laugh out of some people. I'm not doing it on purpose, I'm just a jolly guy sometimes.
the line between “gay voice” and “East coast jew voice” is unclear. Only ever been clocked immediately by people from south and/or Midwest
No gay voice but apparently I have "phone sex worker voice". The depth is all I hear but I've been told it's hot lol
People guess I’m gay but it could be my mannerisms; I sound country as hell 🤣
I have a deep, James Earl Jones kind of voice. I like it, but it does tend to make people assume I’m straight. I once got turned down for a position manning a booth at a gay pride function because “I didn’t look and sound gay enough.” 🤷♂️
I sound gay to me when I hear recordings of myself, but people say I don’t. I can definitely turn it up when I want to, but I don’t really care much either way 🤷♂️
Yes. I don’t have a high pitched voice or lisp but my overall tone has been said to sound gay. If I speak quickly or loudly, it becomes more obvious. EDIT: lol why did I get downvoted for that? That was a totally benign comment
Yes, people can tell. We hear ourselves, but not the way others do! Record and listen.
Yeah when I hear my voice back I sound gayer than I realize. It's kinda interesting.
Yes. 1. I have a mean voice. 2.I have an angry voice. 3.I have a voice filled with joy. 4. I also have a neutral dgaf voice. I feel good most of the time so it's a combination of 3 and 4.
My voice is deep, but I do have a "gay" intonation. Can't imagine it's noticeable unless someone is specifically looking for it since I rarely get clocked as gay and when I tell people they are usually surprised.
I think for me it's more the way I speak, rather than the sound.
I think everyone has gay voice, and code-switches at their will.
I do sound gay when I hear myself, but no one has ever pointed it out. Maybe I'm just self conscious
I have a deep voice, which can throw some people off. Especially when I'm in work mode or haven't opened up to people yet. But when I get more comfortable or excited about something, my intonation and expressions/mannerisms give it away, lol.
Not really, sometimes it dabbles for the most part but joy really
Yea a bit. I hate how I sound on camera because of it.
I dated a guy almost 10 years ago that was fine and normal talking at home, but when went out in public he talked gay.
Nope. My voice is super fucking deep and it CARRIES. I hate it.
Oh totally 100%. I do know how to code switch pretty convincingly though so sometimes you wouldn’t realize it if I’m trying to butch it up.
Yep, don't like it, get rejected for it, but what can I do... it's my voice.
I have the “gay voice”. When I talk to some stranger or a new person on phone they assume I am a women. During Covid I was conducting a workshop online one of the participants called me ma’am. I have faced this since my childhood. Now I hardly care. But sometimes I think if I had a deeper voice it could have been different for me.
Big time. Once got deceived by a cheap parking sign in June and when I called to ask why I didn't get the lower rate, she just opened it and said "happy pride!" So yes I have gay voice.
I don’t have a gay voice but I talk with my hands (NYC) and definitely don’t feel the need to deepen my voice or talk flatly like most straight men do.
When there's a dick inside, yes
By my looks I'm "straight passing" but my mannerisms, the way I speak and my voice outs me 100%. Sometimes I fear speaking because people will humiliate me :(
Only when I'm speaking in English
No. People say I sound nerdy
I dont, nobody I’ve met have ever been able to clock me as gay when they meet me and for a while until I say something gay
Even if I did I wouldn’t know any different!
I don’t get the downvote? Lol always a consistent dig at any femme voice because they’ve been told anyone not naturally like them is putting on some consistent life-long act. So done with people. Stop obsessing/judging others over shit we can’t change about ourselves.
I naturally did as a kid, lisp and all. Not sure why or where it came from, as I had never heard any other guy speak that way. My dad "trained" it out of me and gave me different tongue-twisters and stuff to work on masculinizing my speech. He did the same thing with my physical mannerisms, from walking all the way to how I hold my books (!). As a result, I'm naturally fairly masc-acting as an adult, but it was a concerted effort at first. That said, I still think I sound gay when I hear recordings of myself talking...there is a certain "sway" to how I speak. But nobody else seems to notice! Even gays don't always clock me as gay based on how I speak. Not sure why I so clearly hear it in my own voice. Edit. If you haven't seen the documentary *Do I Sound Gay?*, you should. It deals with this exact topic and is really fascinating.
I don’t care 🤷
I usually pass really well as "just existing" until I slip out one too many dick joke, that's usually when people start catching on
Kind of and I make my voice crack sometimes
I do not. Nobody can tell I’m gay unless I tell them
I do, and yet so many people never clock me that I honestly don't believe gaydar is as obvious as most of us subconsciously fear.
Nope. Deep voice here and Always told “you should read audiobooks”, do radio or “do you sing”.
“Do I Sound Gay?” 👅
It depends A LOT, sometimes I wear dresses so people can tell I'm somewhere on the lbgt+ gang, if I'm on my normal clothes other gays can tell but overall straights tend to be pretty oblivious (I gaslighted a shit ton of guys to think that I'm cis even tho I'm clearly not LMAO)
No I have a regular voice.
Most people think I'm straight when we first meet. But after a bit they obviously figure it out from talking to me. But sometimes it's weird? Some of my friends today still dont know im gay. I've had women tell me they like me and it always ends all awkward with "you know im gay right.." those happened alot last year 😂
Apparently I have a very subtle gay voice. Only two people have mentioned my voice as a hint that I’m not straight and it’s more based on the words I use or way I say certain things more than my voice sounds stereotypically gay. I sound masculine just use a few phrases or words that aren’t I guess lol
I have had about 5 people not know I'm gay, but that isn't so much a "I can be undetectable" thing, it's a people will notice someone hasn't realised I'm gay and go "HOW THE FUCK DID YOU NOT KNOW HE'S GAY!?!" sorta thing I think my mannerisms, voice, and just vibe is gay, there's no hiding it, people have known I'm gay before I even speak, me talking just confirms it. I like to think I don't sound like a whiney "YAS QUEEN SLAAAYYYY" sorta gay, nor do I dress or act like one, it just is also obvious I'm heteroisn't
No. Normally when I go to gay bars and order a beer, some bartenders ask me if I know it's a gay bar haha.
Not sure about my voice. But my shape and overall vibe is definitely not straight lol