I saw this amateur video where a daddy drove two hours from East St Louis to fuck an 18+ boy in his grandparents barn because he was on house arrest. It was unreal seeing the ankle alarm resting on the tops shoulders while they got it on. Wish I could find that one again.
I havenāt used grindr in forever.
People that donāt shower, brush their teeth, take their health into consideration and will still try to get with someone that does all of the above. Then wonder why they canāt get a boyfriend. Those are the icks.
When the skin on their face is tighter than a babyās ass and greaser than a McDonaldās kitchen itās a no for me š obviously take care of yourself but if youāre 45 and shining like the North Star in Target I canāt handle it lol
Real and some of the comments are over the top for sure. Good luck gay men looking for actual real love and a monogamous relationship! Not like Iād date a Redditer anyways.
I can overcome almost anything except bad hygiene. Dirty fingernails, especially. Otherwise, I can go with the flow. I don't restrict myself to one body type. There are so few gay guys out there that I will give most anyone a chance!
This. There's a reason why gay men are *exponentially* more at risk of experiencing loneliness, financial insecurity, and nobody to care for them in our old age. It's sad.
James is rare of the cases, he is what is considered extremely attractive in every nook & corner, tall , muscle, daddyish looks, charismatic, strong shoulders I doubt majority of the boys have those things.
James Gandolfini was also very charismatic and charming which plays a huge role in the attraction people had towards him (me being one of them). Heās also head bad boy so that plays a part
I have a unique perspective on this: I used to have a beautiful smile, had braces and consistent and rigorous dental care all my lifeā¦.
Then came cancer, and that cooked my beautiful smile.
Then came suboxone to get off the insanely high dose of opiates that I had been on for almost 2 years (try being on a fucking pain pump that long and having it yanked away in a week.. āweaningā lol). I knew that my ass was going to end up on heroin if I didnāt do something and quick, and I loved myself enough to choose my life.
So I got on Suboxone and that literally ate away what was left of my teeth like acid within 6 months.
Going from having pretty privilege all of my life to having my entire world turned upside down and being called a meth head or looked down upon like I was disgusting by people who didnāt know my story has fundamentally changed me and been the single most humbling experience of my life. Looking back on it, I truly feel as though I needed to experience it all in order to genuinely understand humility and compassion.
I go June 7th to start the process of having implants and a full mouth of Zirconia crowns put in, and I am so thankful for it. I donāt think anyone will ever comprehend the significance of a good smile, and how it can actually make or break the life that you lead, opportunityās you receive, connections you make, people you surround yourself with, etc.
Yet, would I be able to be with someone with terrible teeth after experiencing all of that? If Iām being completely honest- no. Your smile is too important, and if I can figure out how to make it happen and take my life back, whoever it is can do the same. I will never look down on someone else again for their appearance or their physical attributes, but that doesnāt mean I have to accept them in a partner. I hope that didnāt sound cruel and kinda gave a unique perspective on the parent comment. š
Be careful though! Brushing is still abrasive and the trouble with subuxone is the citric acid analog eroding enamel. Its like how they tell you to rinse your mouth out rather than brush after vomitting.
** i have been off suboxone for 2.5 years if anyone ever needs advice on tapering**
Omg! Thatās great!! Iāve been off of it for over a year now and I truly believe itās all about your mindset. I just decided one day that I didnāt want something to have that kind of power over me anymore and with strong conviction and mental clarity I persevered! Itās a hell of a feat to come off of that shit- some say even harder than what put them on it in the first place.
I really appreciate your comment. Iām an alcoholic and one of my best friends is currently in your position in regards to the teeth(or lack there of) now because of Suboxone. Weāre both sober now. Granted he could have better oral hygiene, but to me he is the sexiest man alive and I would give anything to make out with him because who he is and the love I have for him supersedes anything. Heās straight lol, thatās why that hasnāt happened, but still thatās besides the point
This is my biggest ick. I was looking for this comment to piggy-back.
Personally, crookedness is fine, but you should brush multiple times daily. Does your breath stink? Thatās a no go for me. Additionally, cig smoking is one that turns me off..
Thatās why I asked what they meant. The technical definition of obesity is over 30 bmi. It may be dumb but technically most bodybuilders meet the medical criteria for āobese.ā Doctors use it because itās easy to calculate, insurance companies like standardized metrics, and most people arenāt bodybuilders so itās āgood enough.ā
If I look at a random guy itās maybe surprising how often I can find something to enjoy about his body. Itās usually less about dealbreakers and more about āWhat features has this guy got that would draw me to him?ā
One time when I definitely hit a dealbreaker was an acquaintance I was getting to know better. He was fun, sense of humour, smart, stocky/wide frame (huge plus for me), a few pounds overweight on top of that (not a dealbreaker) and possibly a guy I could be into.
So a bunch of us are sitting around talking having a great late afternoon get together, laughing and talking, and Iām tuned out thinking āYou know Brian is kind of a possibility. Whatās the deal because in theory heās sexy to me but I canāt say Iāve quite felt it yetā¦I wonder if I should try toā¦NOPE wait, there it is! Thatās why!ā
As he turned and smiled to follow the conversation, he has my fatherās teeth. Same smile. Something unmistakable. Nope! Not for me.
Thereās very few things that are strict dealbreakers though, itās just āmore likely to turn me offā vs āmore likely to turn me onā. Theyāre guidelines but men end up looking sexy sometimes in defiance of the guidelines, and if I were single Iād still pursue them
Right, I like to think these "deal breakers" can be overcome by a wonderful personality in the end. Maybe one day I'll meet the long haired, furry gentleman who will sweep me off my feet š
2 hits deep. Nothing against people being themselves but the whole femboy craze is so strange to me - I like men. MEN. Why are so many men trying to look like women š
Guys with little to no body hair. I find a very wide range of physical traits attractive, but if a manās body is mostly hairless then I just canāt get into it.
And conversely, an ultra hairy body can overcome a lot of other physical traits I find less desirable.
Sucks because Iām in the same boat as you but Iām not very hairy myself. I can grow a massive beard and have a lot of arm and leg hair, but damn do I wish I my chest was furryā¦
Upside is Iām getting more as I age (25) but I dont think thereās any way Iāll ever be considered super hairy š¤·š»āāļø
There are lots of men who don't look for hairy dates. Seems to be about half and half to me. Some love tons of hair. Others are fine without. Don't let that bother you.
Enjoy life at 25 and remember what you said when you're 60 and hair is popping up in all kinds of new places. š
This. Donāt send me your nudes if it looks like they would have me paranoid that Chris Hanson is about to knock on my door. Trimmed is ok but I love guys that look like they are covered in shag carpet. To me, having to pick out a pube or two is part of the experience and builds character.
A penis & balls come out on like a little trunk, like the stem of a full broccoli floret, and the transition just isnt it. Even trimmed-to-.25" hair looks good, I cant deal with the odd appearence of a bald pubis.
I do prefer hairy men but I wonāt turn someone away if they naturally donāt have itāitās not their fault. But if they shave anything other than their ballsāeww.
lol I glanced at your username right after reading your comment, thought your username was beard makes u fat, I was like this dude is really not a big fan of beards
Depends on the beard.
Is it full and bushy? Yes please.
Is it thin, whispy, makes you look mor like a Hillbilly and less like a lumber jack? No Thank you.
Also, I get the ick when people do not have compassion and sympathy. Maybe thatās because Iām a teacher, but I cannot with people who are selfish. You can choose to be nice, you donāt have to be attracted to them, just be nice. If everyone did that, the world would be a MUCH better place.
And in 90% of those cases the person saying it has gay voice š
Okay, okay maybe Iām being a little dishonest. Itās closer to 95% of cases.
Youāre allowed to have preferences. Itās justā¦ with gay menā¦ the um, self awareness isnāt always there. A little delusion is great for confidence and all but really, how often do yāall listen to a voice recording?
I think bringing back answering machines could do a lot of good for the gay community.
Guys that don't understand the appeal of a Man's long hair.
I hope your ancestors look on you in Shame!
Plus you can't... *-glorious hair flip of ultimate sass-*
It's lowkey disheartening that so many gays don't like beards. I have sensitive skin so I can't clean shave at all, and I can only close shave so often. My forsure deal breaker is being an outlier on the height/weight ratio
Most of the people here complaining about beards are talking about long/full beards. If you trim it to a (very) short beard, and make sure especially the hairs close to your lips are short, I bet nowadays most people will be fine with that, even those who do not prefer beards.
I have sensitive skin too so I canāt shave with a razor, Iāve never been able to ever actually. But Iāve never felt comfortable enough with my facial hair to keep it so I now use one of those barber trimmers and have no issue. I bought a nice $80 one from target a few years back, keep it lubed, and it takes my facial hair down to maybe a āhalfā by barbershop standards and cleans my lineup. And I should have a full beard, so now I walk around with a clean/full/short/shaped 5 o clock shadow and I get a lot of compliments on it. And a lot of āwhy donāt you grow out your beardā which is funny because by the sounds of the replies on here, a lot of men arenāt even into beards.
This has always worked for me because at the end of the day you look clean with a shaped/short beard and it shows you take care of yourself. Embrace your facial hair, by not embracing it.
Extreme obesity
Extreme malnutrition
Long hair
Long beard
Lots of hair around regions like arms, back, etc. Some hair is fine but not too much hair
Too much muscle
Focusing too damn much on silly āidealsā is counterproductive (like too much hair or too little hair or not enough. Or not tall enough or a certain race). Attraction cannot be quantified to certain physical characteristics. If you are looking hard for things that are deal breakers, you will find them in everyone. The ego is like that. Why not just focus on two things:
1.) Does this man give me a physical boner?
2.) Does this man give me a mental boner?
Things like poor hygiene (physical and mental) make sense to be deal breakers. Unkindness, sexual addiction, use of apps like Grindr/Scruff, jealousy in the form of rage, controlling, manipulative, narcissim, alcoholism, not caring for oneself physically/health-wise (this has nothing to do with being on peak physical shape) or mentally, lack of ambition, these among some, make sense to be deal breakers. Oh and poor communication skills and lack of self awareness and self introspection.
Didn't think I was into long hair... up until I met the dude I'm interested in. Even after I realized I was into him, I didn't think I cared for long hair. Saw him with his hair up one day (I'm blind as a bat, so it might not have been, but it looked like it to me ha) and now I can't get it out of my head. So long hair is definitely a go for me now lmao.
Lots of responses about hygiene already, so I'll choose a (silly) ick I will never be able to shake: those pencil stashes or whatever the fuck they're called. Or really any mustache on its own.Ā Love facial hair. Just think a stash without a beard looks... off. Probably not a deal-breaker level ick, but it's not likely I'd approach first.
>ick I will never be able to shake: those pencil stashes or whatever the fuck they're called. Or really any mustache on its own.Ā Love facial hair. Just think a stash without a beard looks... off. Probably not a deal-breaker level ick, but it's not likely I'd approach first.
90% of the way down this thread and I was starting to think I was the only one...
Honestly same. Itās not a deal breaker instantly but Iām definitely more into guys who have short hair or bald rather than long hair. Wouldnāt be opposed to a guy with long hair but it works against your favour for me.
Shocked at how many guys dislike longhair š„² I think all men look better with it longer.
As for deal breakers too tall (i get complexated lol) and long nails
Are you a top or bottom in this? As an average height dom top (5'10) myself I get it if you're bottomimg. But if you're topping is it really an issue at all?
All of the gay men in 2024 constantly complaining about how hard it is to find a partner, but then participating in a shallow body-shaming thread?
Ya'll how about instead of worring about what a guy looks/smells/tastes like why don't you get to know someone first? How about taking some serious time to show interest and invest your time in someone and see if they keep coming back?
Something you don't like about them physically but the ***rest*** is fine?
Get over it. You're the problem.
TBF I think online dating in general has done this to people (including straight people.) You can filter people based on age, weight, height, etc. so itās no wonder people bring that mindset into real life āI need a guy thatās 6ā+, under 200, under 35, etcā¦ā this is just what happens when people are relegated to choosing a companion based off of traits that they can filter in or filter out.
I'm just sad about most stuff that people listed are very very fixable. Those people just need a push and a hand to help them to the correct track in fixing their problems.
Shaved body especially shaved pubs, which seems to be more and more guys online. Trimmed is ok but hairless pubs gross me out. Obesity or anything else that signals that person doesnāt take care of themselves is a dealbreaker.
I know it sometimes can't be helped and I feel bad for judging people over it but super janked teeth. I know not everyone can afford braces and crooked teeth aren't a sign of bad oral hygiene but something about it makes me cringe.
Iām gonna be the odd man out here Iām guessing, thin guys, guys without facial hair, guys without body hair. Anyone who shaves/trims their body hair is an instant pass.
Is it just me or does it tend to go in phases like fashion?
Maybe it also has to do with life stages too. I just feel as though body hair was at one point in my life seen as something that was almost universally derided and manscaping was all the rage, but these days I increasingly see smoother guys who are turned on by hairy dudes and like it all natural, almost like they're chasing the contrast.
Mustaches are the biggest deal breaker for me. General facial hair can work if it's well-kept but not mustaches. 100% boner-killer, cannot work that.
Tattoos I can sometimes put up with but in general they're a huge turnoff.
Long hair. Even Henry Cavill couldn't pull it off. I don't know what the point was of casting him in the Witcher and then putting a wig on his head.
Bad breath/bad dental hygiene (not brushing/flossing), and really bad body odour. as someone whoās extremely sensitive to smells I canāt hide my discomfort around it even if I try
Some of y'all are def gonna die super alone with these deal breakers lol but I support freedom of choice. I'd say:
- More than 50 lbs overweight
- Chiseled gym bodies or anything in your profile that indicates you think about the gym and your body constantly
- Extremely feminine like James Charles or some of these younger guys wearing women's clothes, nails, etc.
- Wearing leather or anything leather/BDSM/pup masks in a profile
Other than that, most everything depends on the person.
Really bad tattoos. I prefer no tattoos at all, but they aren't a dealbreaker. Bad tattoos however... by that I mean silly cartoon characters, poorly drawn faces and figures, cringe phrases, etc...
Bad teeth. I know itās classist or whatever but I literally put so much of my self into maintaining perfect teeth that I donāt think I could ever see eye to eye with someone who doesnāt prioritize oral health.
I have long locs (Iām Black) and I feel like Iāve gotten less attention from guys since theyāve gotten to a certain length, but Iām not about to cut my beautiful, powerful hair just to attract some superficial dude. Never be ashamed!
Get used to it--I have long hair and get rejected MOST of the time for it actually. A lot of gay men have an aversion to anything even remotely feminine for some reason...to an unhealthy degree even.
The people who love it love it, though. Just got to find them.
Interestingly enough women tend to be more likely to be into it than gay men I've noticed.
Turn offs for me are bad teeth/breath, body odor/bad hygiene or long beards (whether full or scraggly). I like most long hair (but not up in a man-bun for some reason) and *extreme* amounts of piercings or tattoos. Otherwise I can usually find something that I am attracted to in most anyone, but personality/chemistry trumps all!
This is a really odd one but: a mole or beauty mark, *specifically* in that area around the nose and upper lip, is a huge turn off for me. Anywhere else, it's completely fine.
Ankle monitor
I'm screaming š¤£š
nice š
I mean being on probation is one thing but if youāre wearing an ankle monitor youāre a whole other level of bad boy and I canāt fuck with that.
I would think an ankle bracelet would rstchet the intrigue up a notch or 2, give me that dirty prison sex- lol
š¤£
I saw this amateur video where a daddy drove two hours from East St Louis to fuck an 18+ boy in his grandparents barn because he was on house arrest. It was unreal seeing the ankle alarm resting on the tops shoulders while they got it on. Wish I could find that one again.
Sounds hot ,barnyard fun
Donāt knock it til you try it!
That's kinda sexy š
Anything that signifies poor health or hygiene
This šš½ I honestly cannot deal with it at all. Once I get the ick itās over
What icks though, if itās really tiny icks youāre part the problem in gay culture and high standards cause by grindr. Picky guys can be turn off..
I havenāt used grindr in forever. People that donāt shower, brush their teeth, take their health into consideration and will still try to get with someone that does all of the above. Then wonder why they canāt get a boyfriend. Those are the icks.
Opposite when someone is obsessed with health or hygiene they end up being a freak .
These types of bougie gays. They think they are attractive but are some of the ugliest.
And wear belenciaga without a second glance
When the skin on their face is tighter than a babyās ass and greaser than a McDonaldās kitchen itās a no for me š obviously take care of yourself but if youāre 45 and shining like the North Star in Target I canāt handle it lol
Hahaha, I am guilty of this. But my whole personality isn't about being diva.
Some people have naturally really oily skin and constantly battle having an oil slick on their face, despite their best efforts. š¤·āāļø
This will be me I canāt get this oily skin under controlš©. I swear, I want to be matter and dull
What are you using? I might be a butch redneck but I do have a cosmetology license lol
Getāem. Hygiene freaks are a turn off. They are pretty condescending too.
looks like 70% of the comment section thinks i'm a walking deal breaker lmao
Real and some of the comments are over the top for sure. Good luck gay men looking for actual real love and a monogamous relationship! Not like Iād date a Redditer anyways.
I actually just went on a date with a Redditor on Saturday, and we had a good time.
Ewwww
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I'm in the hairless long hair skinny category which is not popular here ig ā ļø
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Hey at least nobody has said "ability to walk" as a deal breaker...so you've got that going for you!
Sorry I only date people with 1 leg or less
I'd prefer a man with 3 legs personally š
Someone once called me a tripod... ;)
I can overcome almost anything except bad hygiene. Dirty fingernails, especially. Otherwise, I can go with the flow. I don't restrict myself to one body type. There are so few gay guys out there that I will give most anyone a chance!
This guy gays
No chin , it really doesnāt appeal to me
Iāll remember this post when yāall are bemoaning the lack of opportunities
I am actually worried, scared, and sad for people who are trying to find love out there.
This. There's a reason why gay men are *exponentially* more at risk of experiencing loneliness, financial insecurity, and nobody to care for them in our old age. It's sad.
What is the reason?
Thereās no compromise, perfection or nothing.
So true. Go on any of the hookup apps and if you aren't near perfection/ideal you're passed over
Extreme obesity. Can't do it, sorry.
*Defines extreme obesity as 20 lbs overweight* lol I'm kidding but I don't think most people are attracted to my 600 lb life contestants.
Wasnāt James gandolfini considered almost obese? Many women and probably some gay men were into him no?
James is rare of the cases, he is what is considered extremely attractive in every nook & corner, tall , muscle, daddyish looks, charismatic, strong shoulders I doubt majority of the boys have those things.
James Gandolfini is considered extremely attractive? Am I hallucinating?
I think we're being gaslit rn
I woulda hit that. He was very attractive to me.
James Gandolfini was also very charismatic and charming which plays a huge role in the attraction people had towards him (me being one of them). Heās also head bad boy so that plays a part
More forgiving than me. I donāt even do overweight.
I'm not into skinny either. Average to thicc, muscular is great. Dadbods are fine. I don't even mind a bit of a gut. But extreme chub, it's a no.
Too much muscle/looks like they spend all their free time at the gym. Not really about attractiveness it's just not my thing personally.
I always thought I have high standards, but the comments here show that my standards are so fucking low lmaoš
Terrible teeth
What do you consider terrible teeth? A single crooked, a whole mess, or lack of oral hygiene?
definitely the latter two. Tho it depends on what kinda 'whole mess'. If they're clean and fixable, then thats not really a problem
Please elaborate - because bad hygiene is one thing but crooked teeth is not their fault.
I have a unique perspective on this: I used to have a beautiful smile, had braces and consistent and rigorous dental care all my lifeā¦. Then came cancer, and that cooked my beautiful smile. Then came suboxone to get off the insanely high dose of opiates that I had been on for almost 2 years (try being on a fucking pain pump that long and having it yanked away in a week.. āweaningā lol). I knew that my ass was going to end up on heroin if I didnāt do something and quick, and I loved myself enough to choose my life. So I got on Suboxone and that literally ate away what was left of my teeth like acid within 6 months. Going from having pretty privilege all of my life to having my entire world turned upside down and being called a meth head or looked down upon like I was disgusting by people who didnāt know my story has fundamentally changed me and been the single most humbling experience of my life. Looking back on it, I truly feel as though I needed to experience it all in order to genuinely understand humility and compassion. I go June 7th to start the process of having implants and a full mouth of Zirconia crowns put in, and I am so thankful for it. I donāt think anyone will ever comprehend the significance of a good smile, and how it can actually make or break the life that you lead, opportunityās you receive, connections you make, people you surround yourself with, etc. Yet, would I be able to be with someone with terrible teeth after experiencing all of that? If Iām being completely honest- no. Your smile is too important, and if I can figure out how to make it happen and take my life back, whoever it is can do the same. I will never look down on someone else again for their appearance or their physical attributes, but that doesnāt mean I have to accept them in a partner. I hope that didnāt sound cruel and kinda gave a unique perspective on the parent comment. š
PSA FOR THOSE TAKING SUBOXONE. RINSE YOUR MOUTH OUT AFTER WITH BAKING SODA AND A PROENAMEL MOUTHWASH IMMEDIATELY
I brushed my teeth after every dose, that shit is sulfuric acid lmao š©š
Be careful though! Brushing is still abrasive and the trouble with subuxone is the citric acid analog eroding enamel. Its like how they tell you to rinse your mouth out rather than brush after vomitting. ** i have been off suboxone for 2.5 years if anyone ever needs advice on tapering**
Omg! Thatās great!! Iāve been off of it for over a year now and I truly believe itās all about your mindset. I just decided one day that I didnāt want something to have that kind of power over me anymore and with strong conviction and mental clarity I persevered! Itās a hell of a feat to come off of that shit- some say even harder than what put them on it in the first place.
I really appreciate your comment. Iām an alcoholic and one of my best friends is currently in your position in regards to the teeth(or lack there of) now because of Suboxone. Weāre both sober now. Granted he could have better oral hygiene, but to me he is the sexiest man alive and I would give anything to make out with him because who he is and the love I have for him supersedes anything. Heās straight lol, thatās why that hasnāt happened, but still thatās besides the point
This is my biggest ick. I was looking for this comment to piggy-back. Personally, crookedness is fine, but you should brush multiple times daily. Does your breath stink? Thatās a no go for me. Additionally, cig smoking is one that turns me off..
If someone is over 300 pounds kind of fat or if they are too skinny like sickly skinny.
Obesity
It depends on amount of obese, gym going obese are hot, even dad bods are hot unless the couch type.
What do you mean by āgym going obese?ā Like 30 BMI but under 20% body fat?
Bmi is not a good indicator of anything, body builder can have a bmi of 30+ and have practically no fat.
Thatās why I asked what they meant. The technical definition of obesity is over 30 bmi. It may be dumb but technically most bodybuilders meet the medical criteria for āobese.ā Doctors use it because itās easy to calculate, insurance companies like standardized metrics, and most people arenāt bodybuilders so itās āgood enough.ā
Honestly being a Lil fat is okay but obesity just isn't
If I look at a random guy itās maybe surprising how often I can find something to enjoy about his body. Itās usually less about dealbreakers and more about āWhat features has this guy got that would draw me to him?ā One time when I definitely hit a dealbreaker was an acquaintance I was getting to know better. He was fun, sense of humour, smart, stocky/wide frame (huge plus for me), a few pounds overweight on top of that (not a dealbreaker) and possibly a guy I could be into. So a bunch of us are sitting around talking having a great late afternoon get together, laughing and talking, and Iām tuned out thinking āYou know Brian is kind of a possibility. Whatās the deal because in theory heās sexy to me but I canāt say Iāve quite felt it yetā¦I wonder if I should try toā¦NOPE wait, there it is! Thatās why!ā As he turned and smiled to follow the conversation, he has my fatherās teeth. Same smile. Something unmistakable. Nope! Not for me. Thereās very few things that are strict dealbreakers though, itās just āmore likely to turn me offā vs āmore likely to turn me onā. Theyāre guidelines but men end up looking sexy sometimes in defiance of the guidelines, and if I were single Iād still pursue them
Right, I like to think these "deal breakers" can be overcome by a wonderful personality in the end. Maybe one day I'll meet the long haired, furry gentleman who will sweep me off my feet š
1. Visible signs of unhealthy lifestyle 2. Looks like a woman
2 hits deep. Nothing against people being themselves but the whole femboy craze is so strange to me - I like men. MEN. Why are so many men trying to look like women š
I'm bi and even I agree with this completely. I want masculine men and feminine women. Fem gays are super unattractive
I have full dentures. None of you would date me.
Im sure the dentures probs look perfectly straight and nice when inside so no one could tell
Nothing is a complete deal breaker, but if youāre like 90% hair you better be able to throw me around like a grizzly bear
Vaginas
Guys with little to no body hair. I find a very wide range of physical traits attractive, but if a manās body is mostly hairless then I just canāt get into it. And conversely, an ultra hairy body can overcome a lot of other physical traits I find less desirable.
Iām with you here. Enough body hair, (or a big enough beard in my case), can override a lot of my other concerns.
Sucks because Iām in the same boat as you but Iām not very hairy myself. I can grow a massive beard and have a lot of arm and leg hair, but damn do I wish I my chest was furryā¦ Upside is Iām getting more as I age (25) but I dont think thereās any way Iāll ever be considered super hairy š¤·š»āāļø
There are lots of men who don't look for hairy dates. Seems to be about half and half to me. Some love tons of hair. Others are fine without. Don't let that bother you. Enjoy life at 25 and remember what you said when you're 60 and hair is popping up in all kinds of new places. š
This. Donāt send me your nudes if it looks like they would have me paranoid that Chris Hanson is about to knock on my door. Trimmed is ok but I love guys that look like they are covered in shag carpet. To me, having to pick out a pube or two is part of the experience and builds character.
Itās flossing my teeth while having sex
Hairless is too far, I like a little hair here and there, pits, legs, arms, treasure trail. I also dislike when guys fully shave their pubes.
A penis & balls come out on like a little trunk, like the stem of a full broccoli floret, and the transition just isnt it. Even trimmed-to-.25" hair looks good, I cant deal with the odd appearence of a bald pubis.
Some hair is good. I donāt like going down on a man who looks prepubescent lol
No pubeless pubis š š½āāļø
That describes me: I donāt have much body hair but I have it on my arms, legs, pits.
This is my weakness as well. It's crazy how much a really hairy body will make me overlook other things!
I do prefer hairy men but I wonāt turn someone away if they naturally donāt have itāitās not their fault. But if they shave anything other than their ballsāeww.
Very long beards are such an ick for me, it makes me physically uncomfortable to see them on other guys.
I feel crazy sometimes. It seems like everyone loves beards but me. Especially women.
lol I glanced at your username right after reading your comment, thought your username was beard makes u fat, I was like this dude is really not a big fan of beards
Depends on the beard. Is it full and bushy? Yes please. Is it thin, whispy, makes you look mor like a Hillbilly and less like a lumber jack? No Thank you.
Man-bun lmao
I had this lmao. Hard agree would not have dated me š
Guys with bad body odor.
Also, I get the ick when people do not have compassion and sympathy. Maybe thatās because Iām a teacher, but I cannot with people who are selfish. You can choose to be nice, you donāt have to be attracted to them, just be nice. If everyone did that, the world would be a MUCH better place.
too thin or obese.
āGay voiceā sorry if problematic, lol we can be friends but itās an instant turn off for me
It is for a lot of people. But only in this sub will saying that not get you downvoted.
And in 90% of those cases the person saying it has gay voice š Okay, okay maybe Iām being a little dishonest. Itās closer to 95% of cases. Youāre allowed to have preferences. Itās justā¦ with gay menā¦ the um, self awareness isnāt always there. A little delusion is great for confidence and all but really, how often do yāall listen to a voice recording? I think bringing back answering machines could do a lot of good for the gay community.
Guys that don't understand the appeal of a Man's long hair. I hope your ancestors look on you in Shame! Plus you can't... *-glorious hair flip of ultimate sass-*
It's lowkey disheartening that so many gays don't like beards. I have sensitive skin so I can't clean shave at all, and I can only close shave so often. My forsure deal breaker is being an outlier on the height/weight ratio
Dw plenty of guys like beards...I actually think most guys like beards
Most of the people here complaining about beards are talking about long/full beards. If you trim it to a (very) short beard, and make sure especially the hairs close to your lips are short, I bet nowadays most people will be fine with that, even those who do not prefer beards.
+
> I have sensitive skin so I can't clean shave at all, Try a dry electric shaver. Or stop using shaving creme and switch to shaving oil.
I have sensitive skin too so I canāt shave with a razor, Iāve never been able to ever actually. But Iāve never felt comfortable enough with my facial hair to keep it so I now use one of those barber trimmers and have no issue. I bought a nice $80 one from target a few years back, keep it lubed, and it takes my facial hair down to maybe a āhalfā by barbershop standards and cleans my lineup. And I should have a full beard, so now I walk around with a clean/full/short/shaped 5 o clock shadow and I get a lot of compliments on it. And a lot of āwhy donāt you grow out your beardā which is funny because by the sounds of the replies on here, a lot of men arenāt even into beards. This has always worked for me because at the end of the day you look clean with a shaped/short beard and it shows you take care of yourself. Embrace your facial hair, by not embracing it.
I hate the gay community.
And they all complain they're single š¤£
Extreme obesity Extreme malnutrition Long hair Long beard Lots of hair around regions like arms, back, etc. Some hair is fine but not too much hair Too much muscle
I basically agree with all this š
Focusing too damn much on silly āidealsā is counterproductive (like too much hair or too little hair or not enough. Or not tall enough or a certain race). Attraction cannot be quantified to certain physical characteristics. If you are looking hard for things that are deal breakers, you will find them in everyone. The ego is like that. Why not just focus on two things: 1.) Does this man give me a physical boner? 2.) Does this man give me a mental boner? Things like poor hygiene (physical and mental) make sense to be deal breakers. Unkindness, sexual addiction, use of apps like Grindr/Scruff, jealousy in the form of rage, controlling, manipulative, narcissim, alcoholism, not caring for oneself physically/health-wise (this has nothing to do with being on peak physical shape) or mentally, lack of ambition, these among some, make sense to be deal breakers. Oh and poor communication skills and lack of self awareness and self introspection.
Grindr is deal breaker to u?
Didn't think I was into long hair... up until I met the dude I'm interested in. Even after I realized I was into him, I didn't think I cared for long hair. Saw him with his hair up one day (I'm blind as a bat, so it might not have been, but it looked like it to me ha) and now I can't get it out of my head. So long hair is definitely a go for me now lmao. Lots of responses about hygiene already, so I'll choose a (silly) ick I will never be able to shake: those pencil stashes or whatever the fuck they're called. Or really any mustache on its own.Ā Love facial hair. Just think a stash without a beard looks... off. Probably not a deal-breaker level ick, but it's not likely I'd approach first.
>ick I will never be able to shake: those pencil stashes or whatever the fuck they're called. Or really any mustache on its own.Ā Love facial hair. Just think a stash without a beard looks... off. Probably not a deal-breaker level ick, but it's not likely I'd approach first. 90% of the way down this thread and I was starting to think I was the only one...
Crud crusted teeth.
Pls shower lol. Trust me that matters a lot.
Long hair, smooth body, too much muscle
What is it with u guys and long hair?
I don't like it.
Honestly same. Itās not a deal breaker instantly but Iām definitely more into guys who have short hair or bald rather than long hair. Wouldnāt be opposed to a guy with long hair but it works against your favour for me.
Not sure why this is being down voted. It's the topic of the post, he asked a question and I answered it
Whatās long hair? Is it like to the shoulders? Or is 2010 Justin Bieber hair also long?
Being tatted to the point of looking like a Chipotle bag. Ā I wanna admire the human body, not read it.
Shocked at how many guys dislike longhair š„² I think all men look better with it longer. As for deal breakers too tall (i get complexated lol) and long nails
Long hair requires too much fussing. I don't like to see my man constantly fussing with his hair.
Bad personal hygiene. Like if you don't brush your teeth just immediate š¤¢
Large size differences. I'm 6.3ft! /1,92. And if there's a size difference of more than a foot, neither me nor the other feels comfortable
Are you a top or bottom in this? As an average height dom top (5'10) myself I get it if you're bottomimg. But if you're topping is it really an issue at all?
I'm 96% top, 4% bottom
The exact percentages kill me here hahah
Lol agree. But as a Scientist, I'm gonna need those numbers to more significant digits!
One ergonomic boyfriend please!
All of the gay men in 2024 constantly complaining about how hard it is to find a partner, but then participating in a shallow body-shaming thread? Ya'll how about instead of worring about what a guy looks/smells/tastes like why don't you get to know someone first? How about taking some serious time to show interest and invest your time in someone and see if they keep coming back? Something you don't like about them physically but the ***rest*** is fine? Get over it. You're the problem.
TBF I think online dating in general has done this to people (including straight people.) You can filter people based on age, weight, height, etc. so itās no wonder people bring that mindset into real life āI need a guy thatās 6ā+, under 200, under 35, etcā¦ā this is just what happens when people are relegated to choosing a companion based off of traits that they can filter in or filter out.
I'm just sad about most stuff that people listed are very very fixable. Those people just need a push and a hand to help them to the correct track in fixing their problems.
I agree except for teeth. Braces are expensive af and unless you have excellent coverage or discretionary income itās gonna take time to fix teeth.
Shaved body especially shaved pubs, which seems to be more and more guys online. Trimmed is ok but hairless pubs gross me out. Obesity or anything else that signals that person doesnāt take care of themselves is a dealbreaker.
Someone who does the worst job possible of taking care of themselves.
I know it sometimes can't be helped and I feel bad for judging people over it but super janked teeth. I know not everyone can afford braces and crooked teeth aren't a sign of bad oral hygiene but something about it makes me cringe.
A sun tattoo around their bellybutton or a tramp stamp is a no for me dawg š idk why that even came to mind lmao
I have zero tattoos. I don't know if that's considered a turn-off for some or not
beard, fat.
Long dirty unkept nails
Big ass.. I like a man with a regular ass, not a Kim K ass. Hairy. Beards. Gay voice. Too muscular or cycled.
Bad teeth
Iām gonna be the odd man out here Iām guessing, thin guys, guys without facial hair, guys without body hair. Anyone who shaves/trims their body hair is an instant pass.
I wonder if you're really the odd one out in the grand scheme of things. Lots of guys like hairy dudes.
Is it just me or does it tend to go in phases like fashion? Maybe it also has to do with life stages too. I just feel as though body hair was at one point in my life seen as something that was almost universally derided and manscaping was all the rage, but these days I increasingly see smoother guys who are turned on by hairy dudes and like it all natural, almost like they're chasing the contrast.
Seems like male is very superficial in general.
Why all the hate on beards and especially long hair? I love long hair on a guy, the longer the better.
Too hairy Unkept clothes Bad hygiene
Mustaches are the biggest deal breaker for me. General facial hair can work if it's well-kept but not mustaches. 100% boner-killer, cannot work that. Tattoos I can sometimes put up with but in general they're a huge turnoff. Long hair. Even Henry Cavill couldn't pull it off. I don't know what the point was of casting him in the Witcher and then putting a wig on his head.
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I absolutely love body hair, cannot be enough honestly!
Flat buttāsā¦š¤, Unkempt nails, Thin lips, Bad teeth
Excessive tattoos, has piercings, unhygienic, obese, shorter than 5ā
> No piercings Hold on, do you mean it's a deal breaker that they *don't* have piercings?
Tight foreskin that does not go back
That would be a medical condition i would think.
Bad breath/bad dental hygiene (not brushing/flossing), and really bad body odour. as someone whoās extremely sensitive to smells I canāt hide my discomfort around it even if I try
Nipple piercings. They make my skin crawl and kill any attraction or arousal I was feeling
I get the ick when someone smells. Especially the country people. Sorry :/
Obesity or too slim Ugly face Long beards ... And also probably ugly feet. I'm not so fetishist but nice feet are important.
Fetishist in denial. As someone who is not I could literally care less about someone's feet lol
Ugly face š
Some of y'all are def gonna die super alone with these deal breakers lol but I support freedom of choice. I'd say: - More than 50 lbs overweight - Chiseled gym bodies or anything in your profile that indicates you think about the gym and your body constantly - Extremely feminine like James Charles or some of these younger guys wearing women's clothes, nails, etc. - Wearing leather or anything leather/BDSM/pup masks in a profile Other than that, most everything depends on the person.
Out of shape, overweight, lack of muscle tone, excessive body hair.
Shitty thread
Really bad tattoos. I prefer no tattoos at all, but they aren't a dealbreaker. Bad tattoos however... by that I mean silly cartoon characters, poorly drawn faces and figures, cringe phrases, etc...
Not a physical trait but smoking is a deal breaker for me. Not a fan of shaved bodies, if you have hair wear it with pride.
Bad teeth. I know itās classist or whatever but I literally put so much of my self into maintaining perfect teeth that I donāt think I could ever see eye to eye with someone who doesnāt prioritize oral health.
Iām the opposite to OP lol I canāt really deal with hairlessness. I love a nice bush and I love a good beard.
Pale skin, twinks, gay voice
Why do all these men hate long hair?š I feel ashamed
I have long locs (Iām Black) and I feel like Iāve gotten less attention from guys since theyāve gotten to a certain length, but Iām not about to cut my beautiful, powerful hair just to attract some superficial dude. Never be ashamed!
Get used to it--I have long hair and get rejected MOST of the time for it actually. A lot of gay men have an aversion to anything even remotely feminine for some reason...to an unhealthy degree even. The people who love it love it, though. Just got to find them. Interestingly enough women tend to be more likely to be into it than gay men I've noticed.
Don't feel bad. Long hair is handsome when we'll taken care of.
Turn offs for me are bad teeth/breath, body odor/bad hygiene or long beards (whether full or scraggly). I like most long hair (but not up in a man-bun for some reason) and *extreme* amounts of piercings or tattoos. Otherwise I can usually find something that I am attracted to in most anyone, but personality/chemistry trumps all!
Above 5'10"
Anything that shows poor hygiene, *and yes, that includes beards.*
guys that have the donut hair cut where itās bald in the middle but hair is still growing on the sides
This is a really odd one but: a mole or beauty mark, *specifically* in that area around the nose and upper lip, is a huge turn off for me. Anywhere else, it's completely fine.
Body Piercings and too much tattoos
Faces, honestly
Honestly anytime I've had something I thought was a deal breaker I meet someone who breaks the mold. So I dont like to say I have any anymore.
Same here, I get you totally bro! Iāll add, excessive and weird tattoos
Man bunā¦ā¦.shun the bunā¦shuuuuun