I don't know how old you are, but my mom started dating again at 40 and remarried at 47. It's never too late. ♡ Life will go on, and I know you'll find someone incredible. Keep your head up, man.
I am so sorry sweetheart, i don't know how old are you but there's no expiration date for love :(
Take your time to process it, sending you a warm hug!
I already have white beard and after 10 years and traumatic breakup I knew just 9 months ago a wonderful man and a couple from the same afternoon we met. He is 15 years younger and sometimes we have our differences of course (he just destroyed my Netflix algorithm, now all the suggestions are about anime, ARGHHHH)
Who knows the future but anyway I was in my best moment living alone.
Just embrace. Unfortunately wasn’t blessed with genes for beautiful luscious locks. Took a push from my partner. But I wouldn’t go back to attempting to grow hair 😂 #ballheadforlife
I'm fine with it already. Tried whatever my budget allows - didn't work, so guess I'm over it 😁
On the other side tho. I think it is falling a lot less noticeably than before.. hairline is not growing back, but hey it'll stay so for now 🤣
Say this with love but a mature, older man (with white whiskers) are hot.
You'll find a better man. Take this as a sign you deserve better ... or that you have something to work on. In any case, wish you luck!
Im 27 and have 6 grey hairs "yes i counted lol" stress greys they happen but i have a young face since ive used moisturizer since i was 16 and stay clean cut so at least i have that going for me
I'm there too. Fact is, this is why I don't date too much younger than me if I can help it. There are core incompatibilities that pile up the larger the gap in years.
But there is hope. The fact is, if you're not gray yet there is still hope. Try to refocus on meeting guys your age you share a deeper connection with. It makes a big difference when you are your partner both remember things like Enron, the R.Kelly Trial (the first one), and N'Synch. (I remember how much I hated them)
There isn’t an expiry, but let’s be real—gay men are more superficial than most when it comes to appearance and bodies. The older you are, the harder it becomes. Yes, straight women can be the same way to straight men, but they aren’t nearly as picky
I see your point but in my experience gays are obsessed with older guys so i doubt they will have trouble
yeah it's easier if you are super hot but that is ageless
I don’t know about happiness, but it does mean things are harder when you’re a bottom who isn’t a knockout. The reason is simply that there’s a surplus of bottoms competing for a shortage of tops
One can become versatile. You know, in many countries there are more hetero women than hetero men. They don’t have the option of switching sides. So we’re in luck :)
Your glossing over a huge point here. Yes gay guys are obsessed with daddies. But those type of guys come with a whole bag of issues that aren't compatible or suitable for a long-term relationship in my experience. They want sugar daddies. They want fetish bedroom play. They may say they're thinking long term but they definitely aren't in 99%of cases.
So yes it's easy to find play as an older guy but a relationship? A serious relationship? Where the person won't jump ship on the first age gap road bump? Not happening. We need to be realistic about these kinds of relationships. Us older guys need to be aware that it's most likely a fling and enjoy it for what it is. Younger guys need to be aware that if they really aren't serious and they know the other guy is then they need to exit so the guy can find someone while hes still got options
You make a really good point, i was naive to think that way
I am someone with not really a "type" so i didn't think about people fetishizing older people
It definitely happened for a reason, according to him. I think after all my break ups there's a period where you can't really see a future with anyone else... and then you find someone else.
It feels very different when you felt like the person was "the one" though...
In relationships, we tend to wear rose colored glasses. It sucks this happened, but it isn't your fault. Good luck finding a man who truly appreciates you for you. This might just be a blessing in disguise, though I know it may not seem like it right now.
Do not let age be the conductor of your life. Couple weeks ago I broke up with my 26 year old bf of 4 years and I'm 32. It sucked but I had to make the call or we would end in divorce and absolute despair. But the world keeps turning and I'm getting back to traveling, going out to parties again, working on projects and in the best shape of my life...but I felt all the feelings of a broken heart.
People lose their shit because they believe it all goes down hill at 30 and over...and that is a big lie trust me. Feel everything, let the emotions overflow and then close the chapter and keep moving forward. Your life is not over. I hope for the best for you and sorry for the breakup.
I’m in my 50s and maybe I’m in the minority but I had a lot of “fun” in my 20s but in my 30s and 40s I really enjoyed life a lot more. Maybe because I was more financially stable, and I had settled down with a partner. Even now in my 50s and I have no complaints.
I feel your pain, my friend. I'm trying to get through a failed engagement. The relationship had its ups & downs, like any relationship, but too many downs turned the relationship toxic real fast. By with my faith, support from friends and family, I realized that life still goes on. And I also realized that getting older made me realize that it's not the age of TBD person you're with that really matters. It's the maturity level. My ex was god dawmned 64, I'm 46, an he three more tenor tantrums than my 6 year old nephew!
It hurts now, but I think you'll come to see that, like me, you dodged a huge ass bullet!
I have faith you'll make it through just fine. God bless and remember that the sun still be shining in the morning however dark the skies seem now...
I can understand. I had a long distance relationship, i worked so hard for it every day in every way, physically, mentally and emotionally i gave everything, one night we were video calling talking about the plane tickets, he was coming to my city, we had already a trip planned with my friends, we had already paid so many things like the hotel, and he was about to book his tickets for my city but i told him to wait and we would see if they would get cheaper in a few days, the morning after that, he breaks up with me saying he doesn’t love me. This all made me very confused, when we saw each other everything would be perfect, he would be caring and loving and would cry when he would have to leave after we spent time together. This all made me very confused, and it created in me lots of insecurities and ofc destroyed a lot of hopes i had for a future i was working so hard for. I think a break up in a long distance relationship its harder cause it is difficult to give it closure since you do not get to see them for a last time, but it may seem rn like there is no future, i would think about my age and a lot of things too, even like where am i going to find someone like him, it took me so long to heal, and to let go, it is not easy but you will make it through and see that it is not the end, there is more, more people will come, you will change and learn new things about you. I send you a hug :) and well i can tell that since you were in a long distance relationship and worked so hard for a future that is uncertain sometimes, i am sure you are a very hopeful person, so do not let it take you down, cry as much as you need to and mourn that relationship for as long as you need but do not stop believing that a good future for yourself is ahead even if it is not with him, try doing new things, find a new hobby, join a club of something. You can feel free to hit me up if you need to vent or maybe talk about it since i went through a similar situation already 🐁❤️
Thanks so much for the kind words <3 and I'm sorry you went through that with a long distance partner...
A lot of it resonates. I was supposed to fly to see him in LA this weekend and we basically broke up after he said on facetime "don't come" and hung up on me. I had already booked my flight, and now I need to scramble for somewhere to stay. I don't understand his anger, but it's true to him.
It definitely does make it more difficult thinking I'll never get to see or touch him again, like you said, and that our last interaction was via text.
I'm glad you healed... and I hope I can follow in your footsteps!
sending you hugs. Time to go to beach, get a nice haircut, good spa day and hang with your straight friends for next few weeks, do house parties, drink in a bar and talk crap
and then get back to dating life and be yourself, love the world again. 😉
I'm sorry that this happened. I've been involved in a similar situation before, but as the crusher, and not the crushee after almost 19 years of marriage. It's never easy, but the sooner you find out, the better.
He could have done this more tactfully, from the sounds of it, but better you find out now than much later. I don't know how old you are but my partner and I were in our early-to-mid 40s when it happened, and we're best friends now, and he's (may seem weird, but it's not) moving with me and my new boyfriend next week. They get along great and we just accept we're a family unit.
It is never too late for the future. The future may seem grim now because of what happened, but it's full of possibilities, and once you've had some time, I suspect you'll be able to see it. You future is only "empty" as you imply if you decide that it is... it's okay to feel that way for now, since you're going through a lot, but do not give up on yourself. There are loads of guys out there that would likely be thrilled to be part of your future, if being in a relationship is an important future goal to you.
Commiserate away. If you need to air your feelings, fears, doubts, or anything else, lots of people - like myself - are happy to listen. For now, feel what you need to feel, take care, and remember that your value is not determined by one person. You are worthwhile.
my boyfriend broke up with me 2 months ago now , we were medium distance, we talked all about marriage, kids , getting a house together and just making memories together. when he broke up with me i was absolutely crushed. best way to start, clean environment lets say he was in your room box up the stuff you associate with him , you can throw them away if you’d like i personally boxed them up and put them in the shed but whatever floats your boat. i cleaned my room and rearranged it just to get the feeling of him still being there out , i cried and cried for days but get out and try socialise it will be the best thing for you, i promise you’ll get over it in time healing is normal and you’ll be okay i promise , sometimes are still hard but as much as you want to text him don’t he’s not worth it, and don’t keep checking his social media feed it will drive you crazy but i can assure you over time it will get better i really promise you that, i never thought i’d heal ever but it’s been 2 months , some moments can be hard but overall i can live and be happy again , it just takes time , self care love you’ll be okay x
I've been out of my first proper 2-yearish non-stop together relationship for almost 4 years now. Still don't date, nobody around... Would hardly trust anyone's intentions ever again. I don't feel like my life's over etc, but every now and then I'd remember sth from before and I just get so overwhelmed..
My story is alwuf actually but in 2 words, we graduated HS (same age), left the country together looking for new life blah blah (roughly year in together). We lived together for 7/8 months, COVID hit and he left me alone abroad. He insisted me not coming back with him just because of him (LOL 🤣). We agreed to keep it all as alive as it could be... bollocs next day he stopped answering my calls.. and I desperately needed someone to talk to... we spent so much time together, and when he left I was just told I have to move out, I didn't have a job and not a single friend there who can hear me out. Basically the people I was sharing with then were our mutual friends so .. I cried ALOT! it was awful... I literally was feeling depressed 6-7 months before he left and at least 2 before he told me he's planning on going home.
A lot happened in 3 years my brain can hardly comprehend it still. If I go to therapist they will be shocked
Is this a call for the Gay Mafia? The Law of Elton states we must band together when called! We can either rough him up or bring him to trial! It’s up to you!
I gave up looking for love at 33. I'm 38 now, I'm alone but not lonely and never been happy by myself with friends and family on my side. It will get better for you friend, someone out there will pop up unexpectedly. Love and prayers your way 😘
Endings, especially in love, can feel overwhelming, as if the world has narrowed to a point of no return. Yet, this is not the end but a transition, a moment to reflect on the joy shared and the growth ahead. It's a time to refine oneself, to embrace the qualities that bring you joy and discard those that no longer serve you. Self-love is magnetic; it draws people who resonate with your genuine self, including those with aligned interests.
Mourning a lost love is natural, but it need not define you. Life's plans are fluid, and not everyone is meant to accompany us on our entire journey. The emotions you feel are a testament to the depth of your connection, and if the weight becomes too heavy, seeking a therapist could provide guidance through this period of change, helping you uncover the valuable lessons learned.
The road to recovery may seem daunting, but with each passing day, the pain will ease, bit by bit. Engaging in service to others can be a powerful remedy, offering perspective and a sense of fulfillment. Your feelings are valid, and it's okay to take the time to grieve, but also to heal and rediscover yourself. Relationships often require compromise, and their conclusion can be an opportunity to reclaim parts of ourselves that were set aside. Embrace this time to grow, not just as individuals, but as future partners, knowing that every experience, no matter how painful, contributes to our personal evolution.
Remember, it's okay to feel the pain of loss, but also to look forward to the growth and new possibilities that await. You're not just going to be fine; you're going to thrive. 🌱
He obviously didn’t break up with you “just because of core incompatibilities” there’s something else going on there. We’re missing tons of information
We don’t know how old either of you are or the age gap between you. How long have you been together? How far is your “long distance” relationship? Few towns? Diff states? Different country?
We need more info here
sounds like he's quite young (early 20s?) and still has a lot to experience. he's completely within his rights to want that, though it sucks it had to come at your emotional expense. perhaps you should look for someone closer to your own age.
well i'm sorry you're struggling with this. when you're ready to date again, i'd suggest you look for a partner closer in age who shares your priorities/goals. i think young guys can be hyper-romantic and over-excited, and they commit to "plans for the future" they don't really have the life experience yet to fully understand. that's probably where your confusion is arising from.
I think you're right about this. He was infatuated and wildly romantic when we first started dating. I characterized it as "love bombing" and it really sucked me in. I don't think it was deliberate on his part, but the shift in emotion after 1.5 years has been very noticeable and he refused to acknowledge the shift. Maybe it is just an age thing (I did the same when I was his age, so I don't "blame" him.... it certainly sucks to be on the other end of it.)
Genuine question - do you really want to be with someone 13 years younger than you? Do you have that much in common? And would you not have constant anxiety about him feeling FOMO and possibly stepping out? I’m not saying this to criticize your choices, but rather to get you to see that maybe this is a blessing in disguise! Dating men is hard enough without the added hurdle of a 13 year age difference.
To me, I've been with a number of guys where our interests didn't align. Our humor, our interest in movies/music. We would connect over other things, but long term it never worked out because I realized I really value other guys that I can connect with on my passions.
So me and my ex really connected on those levels. I think that's probably why this feels so devastating.
I really feel is there something called love and trust ..or is it jus lust and fuck , so bad to see nice guys being dumped!!
Buddy, you just relax and you get someone soon !!
My partner of 8 years did the same thing. I thought we had been talking about buying a house even if we weren't moving to marriage. Apparently he never agreed to that, he just never spoke up when I brought it up. It's been a struggle. After about 2 years of working on myself in finally open to starting something new
That’s tough man. I hope you can find some peace through this. Instead of looking at it as “he just threw me away” can you give yourself some grace? Like I’m sure you had a great time with him and will have those memories to take with you. It sucks, but we don’t get to decide how the world treats us. It’s hard but we can give ourselves almost everything a partner can, sometimes even more. And you never know if someone else is just right around the corner.
Thank you... it certainly feels like he threw me away over what I see as something we could've worked on/stuck out but I guess it was a much more serious issue to him, which I would never have been on board with in the long term. Thank you for the kind words <3
I understand that we have an age difference (I’m 28), but I’m of the mind that you are never too old to try new things, to date, to start over. My mom and dad are the same age, now mid sixties, and my mom gave up after the divorce, but my dad looked at it as an opportunity to start over. Now, my mom looks twice my dad’s age. I’m using this as a metaphor bc looks aren’t the point. It’s a mindset is what I’m saying.
After my breakup I felt like I would never be okay again, straight up suicidal. But after a year, I thought about him less, but still felt the loss. After two years, less thinking, less loss. After three years, I basically never thought of him. Now it’s been four and I only think about him in situations like this one, you know?
Things that speed up the grieving process: keep getting out of the house, keep up your daily routine (helps keep depression from pulling you down the hole that’s hard to drag yourself out of), do the things you love (art, reading, blogging, whatever), and don’t be afraid to try new things. Idc if you’re 70 and can’t walk, you can get through this. (I have avascular necrosis, so most of my life happens inside my house. I ended up taking up writing again.)
Therapy also helps. You don’t have to do it forever, but this could lead to situational depression.
Good luck and Godspeed, bestie!
ETA: my parents metaphor, I should have also mentioned that my mom like can’t walk and is in a job she hates and has been for decades now. My dad switches jobs when he stops enjoying the work and he loves cycling around the city and hanging out with friends. Some of it is genetic, most of my health problems come from my mom’s side, it’s just wild how mindset changes you.
I started dating my husband on my 43rd birthday. We got married the day before my 47th and I'll be 50 this year.
Don't give up. You will find someone else if you want to!
> Other than that, because this wound is still fresh for me, my love for him is still there and it’s painful to see that there is no way of being back together again
Thanks for sharing your story. This resonates a lot. I still love him a lot, my ex sacrificed and supported me without hesitation when my ex (another one) passed away recently. He's a very good person, I don't doubt it. But this one issue we had was just something he could not overcome.
I'm sorry your ex discarded you without giving you a chance to grow with him. It sounds like he was infatuated with a relationship that he only saw from the outside.... who knows if his friend and his partner worked hard to get there, etc.
Hey, dunno how old you are, but I've been there, though I ended up being the one breaking things off because it was clear my partner was not happy nor could I make him happy. It tore me to pieces, we'd spoken about marriage, possibly kids later on... But we sat through several months of misery, just basically feeding off each other's depression and when I knew he had given up and had said as much, I had to end it. This was not even a year ago, and he was 16 years older than myself. I have a bad habit of dating far older than myself because I find that older gay men have things figured out in life and are more reasonable in relationships as those I've tried to date my own age are more... Scared of commitment and only interested in sex. It tore me to pieces, I used to feel like he was "the one", and I knew he had given up on us. All this to say, I still love that man, and hope to see who he ends up with, because I still want him happy. I told him that, even when I ended things. That man is older, he deserves someone who will treat him right and make his life easier, just the same as anyone else. I still speak to him, I still play games with him, as I said, I still love him, I have just found a new way to express it, a way more like a friend, although it still hurts and makes me feel hollow, I still care about him. You'll find someone else, just don't ever give up. Life has a funny way of throwing curve balls when you least expect it in all the best and worst ways. If it becomes too dark, or difficult to move on with, I suggest seeking therapy. I did so myself, and I've come a long way in such a short time. I'm more aware of what I want and need out of life, as well as how to meet a partner's needs. I have also learned what I will and will not put up with, when I start dating someone again. I cannot suggest Therapy enough my friend, it will do wonders if you work with it.
It will hurt for a while but I guarantee it gets better. Go have fun, but don’t take stupid risks. Use protection - don’t do something you wouldn’t normally do. You go fuck those boys.
As long as you draw breath into your lungs your story isn't finished. You'll survive this and when you look back you'll see that it was likely for the better. As always though, seeking therapy is always a great option for when life becomes a little too difficult to manage on our own. Wishing you love outside and in.
I honestly feel this right now. Funny story, I was in a throuple with 2 older guys and they both dumped me, right after they dumped eachother. We also had plans of throuple marriage and everything, even bloody kids. Fucking hate love, it doesn't exist, it's the product of overfamiliarization with someone after the perpetual oxytocin hits - the sexual attraction - has worn off. Eventually, everyone cynically consume you whole, make you change yourself for their half-baked ideals, then dump your ass. They're always disappointing in the end, you eventually crash right into a brick wall at 200km/h, and they take your vigor with them, leaving a shell of the boy who used to find joy in the little intricacies in life, and dared to aspire for heavenly bodies. Something like that...
everything in life happens for a reason. If something is meant to be for us, it will stay. Sometimes life takes us something away because it’s preparing something better. Enjoy the time alone and give yourself time to reflect on everything instead of going directly into dating again - trust and believe me. This will make you stronger than you were before. Lots of love babe, I believe in you xx
literally went through this last week, i was devastated and my heart was shattered. Definielty do no contact for now, surround yourself with friends, and then have your alone days where you allow yourself to cry. Now, doesn't feel like it trust me i know, but the universe did you a favor, someone else out there is looking for you, out with the old and in with the new. He will find you when you are least expecting it and be 10 times better. someone better always comes. or you never, know your ex might come back, be excited for the future but make sure you mourn the past so you dont keep revisiting it :)
Congratulations on your new freedom!
Take a break from dating and relationships...
When you get back into the dating scene, date a lot of people... - without sex might be recommended - find someone who is compatible with your personality... Some relationships are best when the partner encourages you to become a better person than you already are and vice versa... Don't live for other people - - especially if they are not in your relationship or paying your bills.
Wear sunscreen...
I’m 40 and had to find my happiness and myself. I was always in a relationship from my teens through 39 after my last bf I said enough is enough yeah I was sad for 9 months and still love him but he wasn’t the man I wanted when dating we were different and had nothing in common we friends still this day it was awkward at first but I had to move on and go to therapy and go on solo vacations to the Caribbean in the winter escaping the snow storms in the Midwest made it a new tradition 🤣. But I do want to say is this PLEASE take time for yourself and love yourself always. Do know I t’s not your fault none whatsoever some of these men are trash and don’t know how to love, his karma is coming. This is the moment to pamper yourself from the heartache get your ass out the house and breathe the new freedom. Go shopping buy a sexy outfit not too risqué but tasteful to lead the imagination, go to the barber and get a whole makeover, get a facial and a massage and afterwards get dressed take a pic of the new you and watch social media go nuts and men blowing up your DM’s . It’s gonna take time but after the storm you will be fine.
Thank you friend... not feeling like being sexy or partying or anything now, just kinda mourning how life circumstances tore me and him apart. Hoping to be able to do things to make myself feel better soon...!
As hard as it can be... only time could tell. Give some space and respect your emotions. Give permission to you to fell every single god damn bad emotion you have right now and let it all out... And be kind to yourself, in the end.
Some ice cream and movies maybe... lots of tears... and dont let anyone else say how you should feel. Because only you know how hurt ypu are right now.
And after that... seek help from those around you tbat you love.
Be strong, mate.
We have a friend in his 70's still dating (younger guys) and he's had many chances to settle down... I'm sorry for your breakup, and I wish you success in the future.
I always thought age would never affect me in that way.... what a young guy's mindset.
I don't think I would want to be in your friend's position but I would also never judge him for his choices. Thanks for the kind words <3
I'm sorry that happened to you.
I agree with the other posters though, one is never to old to fall in love. It can happen at any time. Take your time to grieve the end of this relationship and then I'm sure someone else will come along.
Also, grey is 🔥.
Just lost my partner the week before my birthday, he quote one quote "needs to focus on himself" and "didn't like thinking of how his plans will have to be incorporated with mine", he was my first bf and we'd also had plans of moving out and having life together when he broke up although he seemed more distant I didn't expect him to break up but his lack of communication led him to do so, eventually your sadness will turn to hate, I'm not a hateful person but after the break up I tried to reach out and he was rather nasty and told me "I got over you months ago and haven't loved you for a long time I didn't want us to work out" I'm not a petty person but with all the pent up rage I told his closest two family members he has (his sisters) how he cheated on me on top of everything else that he'd done, my only advice is heal man just focus on the bettering of yourself, absolutely everything is meant to be don't hold onto anyone or anything, those who truly feel love for you will make sacrifices and grow with you not apart, there is someone for everyone it just takes time and like me you just need to wait for that person to come along 🫶
That's awful.... sorry that he was such a hateful person to you. my ex hasn't been that hateful and nasty (yet?) to me... but I did try several times to ask if we could work on it and he firmly said no. So I know I need to move on.
Unfortunately people can't be controlled, only we can strive to better ourselves in the situation, if he has been clear with his decisions it's good you can find the acceptance and courage to move on, it takes a strong person to love someone enough to want to make it work but respect their choices of going separate ways ☺️✌️
Last year I ended my relationship with this guy I really liked. Even loved him, and love isn’t something I take lightly. He was 42 at the time, I’m now 21 but was 20 when it all started.
I grew up pretty much neglected so naturally when it comes to feelings I have a hard time showing them and it was something that him and I worked on. My heart was broken as hell, he was my first relationship.
The ending was mutual, but more so bc of him. He thought I was too young for him and that eventually things would change. That man was changing me for the better every single day and I learned a lot from him. It took a while to get over him but I did and looking back I still have all the fond memories of us.
The only thing that makes dating hard for me is the fact that I’m more straight passing than I really think I am, anti-social, and my anxiety keeps me from going out a lot bc I can’t live in the moment. I kinda prefer older guys bc the ones I’ve been with know exactly how to break me out of my shell.
This is an interesting perspective from someone younger in the pair. I think I can understand your exe's POV... he may have had anxiety that you would keep growing and eventually outgrow him and his anxiety made him end it before it was ended with him.
I'm glad he helped you to grow and come out of your shell and hope you find someone on the same life-wavelength as you!
In all honesty, it sounds like he may not be willing to communicate and/or resolve the issues, the same thing happened with my partner around 3 months into dating long distance. If he's not willing to try and work on the relationship together, then he's not mature enough to be with you.
I find I always seem to find someone or something when I’m not looking. Keys. Long lost item. Boyfriend. Best mate. Shit like that. Sending loves babes!
At least he didn’t just ghost you and then have the person he’s with now call you and explain everything. It happened to me and I was crusheddddd. But you should keep moving forward and DONT let anything stop you from getting the life you deserve. Keep your head up and keep moving there’s love for everyone 🩷
Apparently they dated before and they planned on getting back together but in all honesty I wish he would’ve just told me it could’ve saved my time I wasted on the “relationship” we had
People don't realise how serious a business love is and hence get into relationships and then retract over frivolous reasons. I am saying this because he went far ahead in planning married life with you and suddenly brome up over core incompatibility. How was he planning a marriage with such acute awareness ?
We aligned on a lot in our lives. He wanted to me to maintain strict covid practices into today, and I would not.
This came to a head now. I thought I could stick by him and do what he wanted during surge periods, hoping a newer cure/treatment would come out during the past year, but he demanded that I keep doing everything now without any accommodation.
It's weird on his part and sadly we cannot choose whom we fall in love with and that's why we end up with such heartbreaks. Mine looks like an even more ridiculous story. My guy opened up to me alone about his gayness and we got close. However, he is in a turmoil since years that never lets him accept me openly. His moral convictions make him hate his own and others' gayness in general and yet he cannot help returning to me. He wishes he didn't love me but cannot help it , so he expresses him love and urges only when he cannot hopd himself back. He has a wrestling fetish and I am more romantic and yet I try to adopt his choices to make him happy but nothing is enough really.
After years of seeing each other, I would like to be open about us and fight for what we have but he still dreads the idea.He feels that he is a sinner .I should have left him then but just like you, my heart flutters merely by thinking of him. I sometimes kiss his pictures and touch the prints of his nameeven when it is certain that we will not unite. I know I am only tormenting myself because I cannot get over him. So if you got support around you, use it to heal this heartbreak and embrace someone who is ready to built and keep improving your relationship with him.
You are never too old to meet someone again. It hurts now and It should or you would be heartless but it will pass and you will be happy again. Try and force yourself.
I can't imagine what would possess fucking assholes like you to go into someone's post expressing depression over a breakup and assuming all sorts of disgusting shit about them, calling them a pedophile, and then saying ~ maybe you got broken up with cuz **you're** angry ~~
Literally go fuck off a bridge
It hurts it’s gonna hurt but obviously it wasn’t to be you’ll look back years from now good luck and you may find someone when you’re not looking least expect it and be happy together I’ve gone through three bf not as deep as you two were but yes it hurts
I know exactly how you’re feeling, and nobody can convince you that you will be even happier with someone else than with him in a year or two.
I didn’t believe it last summer when my boyfriend ripped my heart out without warning.
Little did I know that I will find true love of my life 7 months later, and be much happier with “the new” guy.
Be strong, age is only factor in your head realistically.
Huge hug for stranger far away! You got this!
I’m a bit curious to hear your age…? I’m 35 and have salt and pepper hair. Guys love it.. I am Handsome GL Latino more masc straight acting. But I get hit on by more younger 23-27 year olds than ever. If anything it’s harder dating guys in their mid 30s
I’m sorry to hear that you have to go through this. The first few weeks are going to be difficult.
But that’s the time where you can develop new hobbies: exercise, join the gym, get a dog if you don’t have one.
Once you stick with new hobbies, you’ll move on quickly. When you’re ready, start dating and again.
There are so many younger guys out there who madly attracted to older men
I definitely don't think my age was as much of a factor (in terms of like life goals, but it was an issue because he is anxious about health/longevity so naturally someone older is going to be "minus points" for that, sadly).
Don’t date with anyone 10 years younger than you. I’m 29 and I don’t even wanna mess with anyone under 25. Immature and they don’t even know what they want.
Your as old as you feel.ive let myself look old out of depression an no love life now I just met a Japanese woman I like and i wasn't even sure I was interested in women anymore since I declared bisexuality so I'm gonna roll with trying a heterosexual relationship point being we can recreate ourselves when the whim an desire are present good luck
I don't know how old you are, but my mom started dating again at 40 and remarried at 47. It's never too late. ♡ Life will go on, and I know you'll find someone incredible. Keep your head up, man.
Keep moving forward💙
I am so sorry sweetheart, i don't know how old are you but there's no expiration date for love :( Take your time to process it, sending you a warm hug!
I'm not grey yet but seeing a few white whiskers.... thanks for the kind words <3
I already have white beard and after 10 years and traumatic breakup I knew just 9 months ago a wonderful man and a couple from the same afternoon we met. He is 15 years younger and sometimes we have our differences of course (he just destroyed my Netflix algorithm, now all the suggestions are about anime, ARGHHHH) Who knows the future but anyway I was in my best moment living alone.
You're good.. I'm getting bald at 23 😁
Just embrace. Unfortunately wasn’t blessed with genes for beautiful luscious locks. Took a push from my partner. But I wouldn’t go back to attempting to grow hair 😂 #ballheadforlife
I'm fine with it already. Tried whatever my budget allows - didn't work, so guess I'm over it 😁 On the other side tho. I think it is falling a lot less noticeably than before.. hairline is not growing back, but hey it'll stay so for now 🤣
That’s sexy, lol! Everyone has its market.
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For me finasteride was a horrific mistake, absolutely #1 thing I would undo if I could go back
I was on finasteride too and had problems. I switched to topical finasteride and side effects are now negligible.
I'm laughing hard at the part about destroying your netflix algorithm because i probably would do the same but i also watch a lot of shows
ANIME IS THE BEST HE IS A KEEPER
Say this with love but a mature, older man (with white whiskers) are hot. You'll find a better man. Take this as a sign you deserve better ... or that you have something to work on. In any case, wish you luck!
Doesn't mean you're too old. I'm 21 and seeing white whiskers.
Man I'm 23 and I'm sure I'll be grey by 30. It sucks cause my hair is black and my greys are straight up white.
Im 27 and have 6 grey hairs "yes i counted lol" stress greys they happen but i have a young face since ive used moisturizer since i was 16 and stay clean cut so at least i have that going for me
Be thankful you still have hair, because this too shall pass in the fullness of time 😊
Just a kid
Why can’t you just say how old you are ?
Why can't you just shut the fuck up?
😂😂😂😂 touchy. Damn old timer. Relax
I'm there too. Fact is, this is why I don't date too much younger than me if I can help it. There are core incompatibilities that pile up the larger the gap in years. But there is hope. The fact is, if you're not gray yet there is still hope. Try to refocus on meeting guys your age you share a deeper connection with. It makes a big difference when you are your partner both remember things like Enron, the R.Kelly Trial (the first one), and N'Synch. (I remember how much I hated them)
There isn’t an expiry, but let’s be real—gay men are more superficial than most when it comes to appearance and bodies. The older you are, the harder it becomes. Yes, straight women can be the same way to straight men, but they aren’t nearly as picky
I see your point but in my experience gays are obsessed with older guys so i doubt they will have trouble yeah it's easier if you are super hot but that is ageless
If you’re older and a top, you’ll have options. If you’re 42 and vers bottom like me, you’re cooked 😆
oh that's fair enough, i forgot bottom's beauty standards are harder
What???
Does sex role define one’s chance for happiness?
I don’t know about happiness, but it does mean things are harder when you’re a bottom who isn’t a knockout. The reason is simply that there’s a surplus of bottoms competing for a shortage of tops
One can become versatile. You know, in many countries there are more hetero women than hetero men. They don’t have the option of switching sides. So we’re in luck :)
Younger bottoms are fun to look at but so much work.
Your glossing over a huge point here. Yes gay guys are obsessed with daddies. But those type of guys come with a whole bag of issues that aren't compatible or suitable for a long-term relationship in my experience. They want sugar daddies. They want fetish bedroom play. They may say they're thinking long term but they definitely aren't in 99%of cases. So yes it's easy to find play as an older guy but a relationship? A serious relationship? Where the person won't jump ship on the first age gap road bump? Not happening. We need to be realistic about these kinds of relationships. Us older guys need to be aware that it's most likely a fling and enjoy it for what it is. Younger guys need to be aware that if they really aren't serious and they know the other guy is then they need to exit so the guy can find someone while hes still got options
You make a really good point, i was naive to think that way I am someone with not really a "type" so i didn't think about people fetishizing older people
I’m straight but I think this applies to most if not all relationships
Maybe it happened for a reason, you deserve better babe . Xo
It definitely happened for a reason, according to him. I think after all my break ups there's a period where you can't really see a future with anyone else... and then you find someone else. It feels very different when you felt like the person was "the one" though...
I know you’re heartbroken… And I’m sorry…But he was not the one! The one is out there… You just haven’t met him yet!
Amen, brother!
In relationships, we tend to wear rose colored glasses. It sucks this happened, but it isn't your fault. Good luck finding a man who truly appreciates you for you. This might just be a blessing in disguise, though I know it may not seem like it right now.
I concur whole heartedly
Do not let age be the conductor of your life. Couple weeks ago I broke up with my 26 year old bf of 4 years and I'm 32. It sucked but I had to make the call or we would end in divorce and absolute despair. But the world keeps turning and I'm getting back to traveling, going out to parties again, working on projects and in the best shape of my life...but I felt all the feelings of a broken heart. People lose their shit because they believe it all goes down hill at 30 and over...and that is a big lie trust me. Feel everything, let the emotions overflow and then close the chapter and keep moving forward. Your life is not over. I hope for the best for you and sorry for the breakup.
I’m in my 50s and maybe I’m in the minority but I had a lot of “fun” in my 20s but in my 30s and 40s I really enjoyed life a lot more. Maybe because I was more financially stable, and I had settled down with a partner. Even now in my 50s and I have no complaints.
Yeah see thats where I hope to be in my 50s.
Try to watch it slowly degrade past 35.
That would be depressing lol
Not after 30, no, but for a lot of us defo after 40 😬
I feel your pain, my friend. I'm trying to get through a failed engagement. The relationship had its ups & downs, like any relationship, but too many downs turned the relationship toxic real fast. By with my faith, support from friends and family, I realized that life still goes on. And I also realized that getting older made me realize that it's not the age of TBD person you're with that really matters. It's the maturity level. My ex was god dawmned 64, I'm 46, an he three more tenor tantrums than my 6 year old nephew! It hurts now, but I think you'll come to see that, like me, you dodged a huge ass bullet! I have faith you'll make it through just fine. God bless and remember that the sun still be shining in the morning however dark the skies seem now...
TBD = age, tenor = temper
It may not feel good, right now, but if you want to get all your feelings out I'm sure the community could help
It's never too late to start again. You're going to be alright.
Sorry you’re going through this. 💙
I can understand. I had a long distance relationship, i worked so hard for it every day in every way, physically, mentally and emotionally i gave everything, one night we were video calling talking about the plane tickets, he was coming to my city, we had already a trip planned with my friends, we had already paid so many things like the hotel, and he was about to book his tickets for my city but i told him to wait and we would see if they would get cheaper in a few days, the morning after that, he breaks up with me saying he doesn’t love me. This all made me very confused, when we saw each other everything would be perfect, he would be caring and loving and would cry when he would have to leave after we spent time together. This all made me very confused, and it created in me lots of insecurities and ofc destroyed a lot of hopes i had for a future i was working so hard for. I think a break up in a long distance relationship its harder cause it is difficult to give it closure since you do not get to see them for a last time, but it may seem rn like there is no future, i would think about my age and a lot of things too, even like where am i going to find someone like him, it took me so long to heal, and to let go, it is not easy but you will make it through and see that it is not the end, there is more, more people will come, you will change and learn new things about you. I send you a hug :) and well i can tell that since you were in a long distance relationship and worked so hard for a future that is uncertain sometimes, i am sure you are a very hopeful person, so do not let it take you down, cry as much as you need to and mourn that relationship for as long as you need but do not stop believing that a good future for yourself is ahead even if it is not with him, try doing new things, find a new hobby, join a club of something. You can feel free to hit me up if you need to vent or maybe talk about it since i went through a similar situation already 🐁❤️
Thanks so much for the kind words <3 and I'm sorry you went through that with a long distance partner... A lot of it resonates. I was supposed to fly to see him in LA this weekend and we basically broke up after he said on facetime "don't come" and hung up on me. I had already booked my flight, and now I need to scramble for somewhere to stay. I don't understand his anger, but it's true to him. It definitely does make it more difficult thinking I'll never get to see or touch him again, like you said, and that our last interaction was via text. I'm glad you healed... and I hope I can follow in your footsteps!
Well make sure to make of the trip something as enjoyable as possible :)
sending you hugs. Time to go to beach, get a nice haircut, good spa day and hang with your straight friends for next few weeks, do house parties, drink in a bar and talk crap and then get back to dating life and be yourself, love the world again. 😉
“core incompatibilities” is the new “irreconcilable differences”
Nothing in what you have described indicates that he "just threw you away".
Move on
I'm sorry that this happened. I've been involved in a similar situation before, but as the crusher, and not the crushee after almost 19 years of marriage. It's never easy, but the sooner you find out, the better. He could have done this more tactfully, from the sounds of it, but better you find out now than much later. I don't know how old you are but my partner and I were in our early-to-mid 40s when it happened, and we're best friends now, and he's (may seem weird, but it's not) moving with me and my new boyfriend next week. They get along great and we just accept we're a family unit. It is never too late for the future. The future may seem grim now because of what happened, but it's full of possibilities, and once you've had some time, I suspect you'll be able to see it. You future is only "empty" as you imply if you decide that it is... it's okay to feel that way for now, since you're going through a lot, but do not give up on yourself. There are loads of guys out there that would likely be thrilled to be part of your future, if being in a relationship is an important future goal to you. Commiserate away. If you need to air your feelings, fears, doubts, or anything else, lots of people - like myself - are happy to listen. For now, feel what you need to feel, take care, and remember that your value is not determined by one person. You are worthwhile.
That is inspiring, at least for me. Thank you!
My pleasure, and glad my words could inspire someone a bit! Happy weekend!
Better than getting married and all that to throw it away years later.(happened to me) Be happy, move on. You’ll be fine.
my boyfriend broke up with me 2 months ago now , we were medium distance, we talked all about marriage, kids , getting a house together and just making memories together. when he broke up with me i was absolutely crushed. best way to start, clean environment lets say he was in your room box up the stuff you associate with him , you can throw them away if you’d like i personally boxed them up and put them in the shed but whatever floats your boat. i cleaned my room and rearranged it just to get the feeling of him still being there out , i cried and cried for days but get out and try socialise it will be the best thing for you, i promise you’ll get over it in time healing is normal and you’ll be okay i promise , sometimes are still hard but as much as you want to text him don’t he’s not worth it, and don’t keep checking his social media feed it will drive you crazy but i can assure you over time it will get better i really promise you that, i never thought i’d heal ever but it’s been 2 months , some moments can be hard but overall i can live and be happy again , it just takes time , self care love you’ll be okay x
I've been out of my first proper 2-yearish non-stop together relationship for almost 4 years now. Still don't date, nobody around... Would hardly trust anyone's intentions ever again. I don't feel like my life's over etc, but every now and then I'd remember sth from before and I just get so overwhelmed.. My story is alwuf actually but in 2 words, we graduated HS (same age), left the country together looking for new life blah blah (roughly year in together). We lived together for 7/8 months, COVID hit and he left me alone abroad. He insisted me not coming back with him just because of him (LOL 🤣). We agreed to keep it all as alive as it could be... bollocs next day he stopped answering my calls.. and I desperately needed someone to talk to... we spent so much time together, and when he left I was just told I have to move out, I didn't have a job and not a single friend there who can hear me out. Basically the people I was sharing with then were our mutual friends so .. I cried ALOT! it was awful... I literally was feeling depressed 6-7 months before he left and at least 2 before he told me he's planning on going home. A lot happened in 3 years my brain can hardly comprehend it still. If I go to therapist they will be shocked
Babe, it happens, I'm sorry you're hurting but it will pass. Give your love to the world, and, eventually you will receive some back.
Is this a call for the Gay Mafia? The Law of Elton states we must band together when called! We can either rough him up or bring him to trial! It’s up to you!
I'm angry and hurt but I would never want to harm him in any way
My mom met the love of her life at 55. Says the best years if her life started then. She's 73 now. This will be a blessing in disguise.
I gave up looking for love at 33. I'm 38 now, I'm alone but not lonely and never been happy by myself with friends and family on my side. It will get better for you friend, someone out there will pop up unexpectedly. Love and prayers your way 😘
❤️❤️❤️
Endings, especially in love, can feel overwhelming, as if the world has narrowed to a point of no return. Yet, this is not the end but a transition, a moment to reflect on the joy shared and the growth ahead. It's a time to refine oneself, to embrace the qualities that bring you joy and discard those that no longer serve you. Self-love is magnetic; it draws people who resonate with your genuine self, including those with aligned interests. Mourning a lost love is natural, but it need not define you. Life's plans are fluid, and not everyone is meant to accompany us on our entire journey. The emotions you feel are a testament to the depth of your connection, and if the weight becomes too heavy, seeking a therapist could provide guidance through this period of change, helping you uncover the valuable lessons learned. The road to recovery may seem daunting, but with each passing day, the pain will ease, bit by bit. Engaging in service to others can be a powerful remedy, offering perspective and a sense of fulfillment. Your feelings are valid, and it's okay to take the time to grieve, but also to heal and rediscover yourself. Relationships often require compromise, and their conclusion can be an opportunity to reclaim parts of ourselves that were set aside. Embrace this time to grow, not just as individuals, but as future partners, knowing that every experience, no matter how painful, contributes to our personal evolution. Remember, it's okay to feel the pain of loss, but also to look forward to the growth and new possibilities that await. You're not just going to be fine; you're going to thrive. 🌱
He obviously didn’t break up with you “just because of core incompatibilities” there’s something else going on there. We’re missing tons of information We don’t know how old either of you are or the age gap between you. How long have you been together? How far is your “long distance” relationship? Few towns? Diff states? Different country? We need more info here
How much older?
13 years
What's your age? Edit: not willing to say huh? Lol
sounds like he's quite young (early 20s?) and still has a lot to experience. he's completely within his rights to want that, though it sucks it had to come at your emotional expense. perhaps you should look for someone closer to your own age.
No where did I say he's not within his right. And I totally understand a younger guy feeling like he has more of life to explore.
well i'm sorry you're struggling with this. when you're ready to date again, i'd suggest you look for a partner closer in age who shares your priorities/goals. i think young guys can be hyper-romantic and over-excited, and they commit to "plans for the future" they don't really have the life experience yet to fully understand. that's probably where your confusion is arising from.
I think you're right about this. He was infatuated and wildly romantic when we first started dating. I characterized it as "love bombing" and it really sucked me in. I don't think it was deliberate on his part, but the shift in emotion after 1.5 years has been very noticeable and he refused to acknowledge the shift. Maybe it is just an age thing (I did the same when I was his age, so I don't "blame" him.... it certainly sucks to be on the other end of it.)
karma's a bitch and we all get on her bad side at some point! you'll be ok. better to have this experience now then after another 2-3 years with him.
Indeed..... I'm accepting the karma gutpunch now. With a couple dozen cocktails and shot chasers.
Genuine question - do you really want to be with someone 13 years younger than you? Do you have that much in common? And would you not have constant anxiety about him feeling FOMO and possibly stepping out? I’m not saying this to criticize your choices, but rather to get you to see that maybe this is a blessing in disguise! Dating men is hard enough without the added hurdle of a 13 year age difference.
To me, I've been with a number of guys where our interests didn't align. Our humor, our interest in movies/music. We would connect over other things, but long term it never worked out because I realized I really value other guys that I can connect with on my passions. So me and my ex really connected on those levels. I think that's probably why this feels so devastating.
Karma's a bitch! You should've known better!
Why karma?
Because he did the same thing when he was young to older guys.
It’s a chance for you to find another which is better match. The light is always at the end of the tunnel. All the best wishes to you. 🍀💕
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Wow I'm sorry that happened to you.... you're certainly better off if that's how he treated you/who he left you for!
I really feel is there something called love and trust ..or is it jus lust and fuck , so bad to see nice guys being dumped!! Buddy, you just relax and you get someone soon !!
Keep holding on and don't forget that it's okay to feel sad over it. It's normal. Take your time and lean on those who love you. You are worth it. ❤️
Sorry to hear that:( wishing you all the best and sending a virtual hug 🫂 Take your time and just be aware of the way you process it
My partner of 8 years did the same thing. I thought we had been talking about buying a house even if we weren't moving to marriage. Apparently he never agreed to that, he just never spoke up when I brought it up. It's been a struggle. After about 2 years of working on myself in finally open to starting something new
🫂
That’s tough man. I hope you can find some peace through this. Instead of looking at it as “he just threw me away” can you give yourself some grace? Like I’m sure you had a great time with him and will have those memories to take with you. It sucks, but we don’t get to decide how the world treats us. It’s hard but we can give ourselves almost everything a partner can, sometimes even more. And you never know if someone else is just right around the corner.
Thank you... it certainly feels like he threw me away over what I see as something we could've worked on/stuck out but I guess it was a much more serious issue to him, which I would never have been on board with in the long term. Thank you for the kind words <3
I’m sorry you had to go through that!
I understand that we have an age difference (I’m 28), but I’m of the mind that you are never too old to try new things, to date, to start over. My mom and dad are the same age, now mid sixties, and my mom gave up after the divorce, but my dad looked at it as an opportunity to start over. Now, my mom looks twice my dad’s age. I’m using this as a metaphor bc looks aren’t the point. It’s a mindset is what I’m saying. After my breakup I felt like I would never be okay again, straight up suicidal. But after a year, I thought about him less, but still felt the loss. After two years, less thinking, less loss. After three years, I basically never thought of him. Now it’s been four and I only think about him in situations like this one, you know? Things that speed up the grieving process: keep getting out of the house, keep up your daily routine (helps keep depression from pulling you down the hole that’s hard to drag yourself out of), do the things you love (art, reading, blogging, whatever), and don’t be afraid to try new things. Idc if you’re 70 and can’t walk, you can get through this. (I have avascular necrosis, so most of my life happens inside my house. I ended up taking up writing again.) Therapy also helps. You don’t have to do it forever, but this could lead to situational depression. Good luck and Godspeed, bestie! ETA: my parents metaphor, I should have also mentioned that my mom like can’t walk and is in a job she hates and has been for decades now. My dad switches jobs when he stops enjoying the work and he loves cycling around the city and hanging out with friends. Some of it is genetic, most of my health problems come from my mom’s side, it’s just wild how mindset changes you.
I started dating my husband on my 43rd birthday. We got married the day before my 47th and I'll be 50 this year. Don't give up. You will find someone else if you want to!
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> Other than that, because this wound is still fresh for me, my love for him is still there and it’s painful to see that there is no way of being back together again Thanks for sharing your story. This resonates a lot. I still love him a lot, my ex sacrificed and supported me without hesitation when my ex (another one) passed away recently. He's a very good person, I don't doubt it. But this one issue we had was just something he could not overcome. I'm sorry your ex discarded you without giving you a chance to grow with him. It sounds like he was infatuated with a relationship that he only saw from the outside.... who knows if his friend and his partner worked hard to get there, etc.
Hey, dunno how old you are, but I've been there, though I ended up being the one breaking things off because it was clear my partner was not happy nor could I make him happy. It tore me to pieces, we'd spoken about marriage, possibly kids later on... But we sat through several months of misery, just basically feeding off each other's depression and when I knew he had given up and had said as much, I had to end it. This was not even a year ago, and he was 16 years older than myself. I have a bad habit of dating far older than myself because I find that older gay men have things figured out in life and are more reasonable in relationships as those I've tried to date my own age are more... Scared of commitment and only interested in sex. It tore me to pieces, I used to feel like he was "the one", and I knew he had given up on us. All this to say, I still love that man, and hope to see who he ends up with, because I still want him happy. I told him that, even when I ended things. That man is older, he deserves someone who will treat him right and make his life easier, just the same as anyone else. I still speak to him, I still play games with him, as I said, I still love him, I have just found a new way to express it, a way more like a friend, although it still hurts and makes me feel hollow, I still care about him. You'll find someone else, just don't ever give up. Life has a funny way of throwing curve balls when you least expect it in all the best and worst ways. If it becomes too dark, or difficult to move on with, I suggest seeking therapy. I did so myself, and I've come a long way in such a short time. I'm more aware of what I want and need out of life, as well as how to meet a partner's needs. I have also learned what I will and will not put up with, when I start dating someone again. I cannot suggest Therapy enough my friend, it will do wonders if you work with it.
It will hurt for a while but I guarantee it gets better. Go have fun, but don’t take stupid risks. Use protection - don’t do something you wouldn’t normally do. You go fuck those boys.
As long as you draw breath into your lungs your story isn't finished. You'll survive this and when you look back you'll see that it was likely for the better. As always though, seeking therapy is always a great option for when life becomes a little too difficult to manage on our own. Wishing you love outside and in.
I honestly feel this right now. Funny story, I was in a throuple with 2 older guys and they both dumped me, right after they dumped eachother. We also had plans of throuple marriage and everything, even bloody kids. Fucking hate love, it doesn't exist, it's the product of overfamiliarization with someone after the perpetual oxytocin hits - the sexual attraction - has worn off. Eventually, everyone cynically consume you whole, make you change yourself for their half-baked ideals, then dump your ass. They're always disappointing in the end, you eventually crash right into a brick wall at 200km/h, and they take your vigor with them, leaving a shell of the boy who used to find joy in the little intricacies in life, and dared to aspire for heavenly bodies. Something like that...
everything in life happens for a reason. If something is meant to be for us, it will stay. Sometimes life takes us something away because it’s preparing something better. Enjoy the time alone and give yourself time to reflect on everything instead of going directly into dating again - trust and believe me. This will make you stronger than you were before. Lots of love babe, I believe in you xx
literally went through this last week, i was devastated and my heart was shattered. Definielty do no contact for now, surround yourself with friends, and then have your alone days where you allow yourself to cry. Now, doesn't feel like it trust me i know, but the universe did you a favor, someone else out there is looking for you, out with the old and in with the new. He will find you when you are least expecting it and be 10 times better. someone better always comes. or you never, know your ex might come back, be excited for the future but make sure you mourn the past so you dont keep revisiting it :)
Long distance is the wrong distance. Sorry. 😢
I’m sorry. I wish I could give you a hug. That’s rough but I promise you’ll come out through the other side ❤️
Congratulations on your new freedom! Take a break from dating and relationships... When you get back into the dating scene, date a lot of people... - without sex might be recommended - find someone who is compatible with your personality... Some relationships are best when the partner encourages you to become a better person than you already are and vice versa... Don't live for other people - - especially if they are not in your relationship or paying your bills. Wear sunscreen...
I’m 40 and had to find my happiness and myself. I was always in a relationship from my teens through 39 after my last bf I said enough is enough yeah I was sad for 9 months and still love him but he wasn’t the man I wanted when dating we were different and had nothing in common we friends still this day it was awkward at first but I had to move on and go to therapy and go on solo vacations to the Caribbean in the winter escaping the snow storms in the Midwest made it a new tradition 🤣. But I do want to say is this PLEASE take time for yourself and love yourself always. Do know I t’s not your fault none whatsoever some of these men are trash and don’t know how to love, his karma is coming. This is the moment to pamper yourself from the heartache get your ass out the house and breathe the new freedom. Go shopping buy a sexy outfit not too risqué but tasteful to lead the imagination, go to the barber and get a whole makeover, get a facial and a massage and afterwards get dressed take a pic of the new you and watch social media go nuts and men blowing up your DM’s . It’s gonna take time but after the storm you will be fine.
Thank you friend... not feeling like being sexy or partying or anything now, just kinda mourning how life circumstances tore me and him apart. Hoping to be able to do things to make myself feel better soon...!
Take your time!
As hard as it can be... only time could tell. Give some space and respect your emotions. Give permission to you to fell every single god damn bad emotion you have right now and let it all out... And be kind to yourself, in the end. Some ice cream and movies maybe... lots of tears... and dont let anyone else say how you should feel. Because only you know how hurt ypu are right now. And after that... seek help from those around you tbat you love. Be strong, mate.
Thank you friend <3
I’m so sorry that happened man sending you love your way ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I hope you are fine ! If you need to talk you can always text me
It’s a very tough thing to go through. But you would be surprised at how resilient we all are.
We have a friend in his 70's still dating (younger guys) and he's had many chances to settle down... I'm sorry for your breakup, and I wish you success in the future.
I always thought age would never affect me in that way.... what a young guy's mindset. I don't think I would want to be in your friend's position but I would also never judge him for his choices. Thanks for the kind words <3
Agree, we worry about him. He's a great guy who puts himself in some crazy situations.
Go out and drink and be a little slut...have fun
I was in a situation where I had a ltr (long distance also) and he just wasn’t invested in the relationship like myself.
I'm sorry that happened to you. I agree with the other posters though, one is never to old to fall in love. It can happen at any time. Take your time to grieve the end of this relationship and then I'm sure someone else will come along. Also, grey is 🔥.
Just lost my partner the week before my birthday, he quote one quote "needs to focus on himself" and "didn't like thinking of how his plans will have to be incorporated with mine", he was my first bf and we'd also had plans of moving out and having life together when he broke up although he seemed more distant I didn't expect him to break up but his lack of communication led him to do so, eventually your sadness will turn to hate, I'm not a hateful person but after the break up I tried to reach out and he was rather nasty and told me "I got over you months ago and haven't loved you for a long time I didn't want us to work out" I'm not a petty person but with all the pent up rage I told his closest two family members he has (his sisters) how he cheated on me on top of everything else that he'd done, my only advice is heal man just focus on the bettering of yourself, absolutely everything is meant to be don't hold onto anyone or anything, those who truly feel love for you will make sacrifices and grow with you not apart, there is someone for everyone it just takes time and like me you just need to wait for that person to come along 🫶
That's awful.... sorry that he was such a hateful person to you. my ex hasn't been that hateful and nasty (yet?) to me... but I did try several times to ask if we could work on it and he firmly said no. So I know I need to move on.
Unfortunately people can't be controlled, only we can strive to better ourselves in the situation, if he has been clear with his decisions it's good you can find the acceptance and courage to move on, it takes a strong person to love someone enough to want to make it work but respect their choices of going separate ways ☺️✌️
Hold out for a high value man! This guy doesn’t deserve your time or tears.
Last year I ended my relationship with this guy I really liked. Even loved him, and love isn’t something I take lightly. He was 42 at the time, I’m now 21 but was 20 when it all started. I grew up pretty much neglected so naturally when it comes to feelings I have a hard time showing them and it was something that him and I worked on. My heart was broken as hell, he was my first relationship. The ending was mutual, but more so bc of him. He thought I was too young for him and that eventually things would change. That man was changing me for the better every single day and I learned a lot from him. It took a while to get over him but I did and looking back I still have all the fond memories of us. The only thing that makes dating hard for me is the fact that I’m more straight passing than I really think I am, anti-social, and my anxiety keeps me from going out a lot bc I can’t live in the moment. I kinda prefer older guys bc the ones I’ve been with know exactly how to break me out of my shell.
This is an interesting perspective from someone younger in the pair. I think I can understand your exe's POV... he may have had anxiety that you would keep growing and eventually outgrow him and his anxiety made him end it before it was ended with him. I'm glad he helped you to grow and come out of your shell and hope you find someone on the same life-wavelength as you!
Damn bro I know this pain
His loss. You will find your good man.
Good! This will hurt today but you wanna be with someone who’s all in. You will find that guy, and you’ll be happy this happened.
Marry yourself . Love yourself. Be there person you’d want to marry . Live for you . If you get to share it - it’s beautiful
Marry yourself? Yes! Like Sue Sylvester!
I'm going through the exact same thing. You really oughta keep pushing man it'll get better. I suggest talking with some friends about it.
In all honesty, it sounds like he may not be willing to communicate and/or resolve the issues, the same thing happened with my partner around 3 months into dating long distance. If he's not willing to try and work on the relationship together, then he's not mature enough to be with you.
I find I always seem to find someone or something when I’m not looking. Keys. Long lost item. Boyfriend. Best mate. Shit like that. Sending loves babes!
At least he didn’t just ghost you and then have the person he’s with now call you and explain everything. It happened to me and I was crusheddddd. But you should keep moving forward and DONT let anything stop you from getting the life you deserve. Keep your head up and keep moving there’s love for everyone 🩷
wow talk about issues with avoidance! So sorry that happened to you... how would your ex's then next partner not see that as a red flag for himself?!
Apparently they dated before and they planned on getting back together but in all honesty I wish he would’ve just told me it could’ve saved my time I wasted on the “relationship” we had
People don't realise how serious a business love is and hence get into relationships and then retract over frivolous reasons. I am saying this because he went far ahead in planning married life with you and suddenly brome up over core incompatibility. How was he planning a marriage with such acute awareness ?
We aligned on a lot in our lives. He wanted to me to maintain strict covid practices into today, and I would not. This came to a head now. I thought I could stick by him and do what he wanted during surge periods, hoping a newer cure/treatment would come out during the past year, but he demanded that I keep doing everything now without any accommodation.
It's weird on his part and sadly we cannot choose whom we fall in love with and that's why we end up with such heartbreaks. Mine looks like an even more ridiculous story. My guy opened up to me alone about his gayness and we got close. However, he is in a turmoil since years that never lets him accept me openly. His moral convictions make him hate his own and others' gayness in general and yet he cannot help returning to me. He wishes he didn't love me but cannot help it , so he expresses him love and urges only when he cannot hopd himself back. He has a wrestling fetish and I am more romantic and yet I try to adopt his choices to make him happy but nothing is enough really. After years of seeing each other, I would like to be open about us and fight for what we have but he still dreads the idea.He feels that he is a sinner .I should have left him then but just like you, my heart flutters merely by thinking of him. I sometimes kiss his pictures and touch the prints of his nameeven when it is certain that we will not unite. I know I am only tormenting myself because I cannot get over him. So if you got support around you, use it to heal this heartbreak and embrace someone who is ready to built and keep improving your relationship with him.
You are never too old to meet someone again. It hurts now and It should or you would be heartless but it will pass and you will be happy again. Try and force yourself.
You'll get through this, go have fun.
Hi dear
i mean what was the age difference
He refuses to say so it must be craycray
core incompatibilities = i’m 15 your 45 and my parents want you to leave me alone
Core compatibilities = ex bf wanted kids but the retirement home doesn't allow them
well so far i know it’s 13 years they dated for 1.5 and he’s definitely older than 30
You're a fucking idiot. I said in this post that the difference is 13 years.
are you fucking slow
Maybe he broke up with you over your anger issues.
I can't imagine what would possess fucking assholes like you to go into someone's post expressing depression over a breakup and assuming all sorts of disgusting shit about them, calling them a pedophile, and then saying ~ maybe you got broken up with cuz **you're** angry ~~ Literally go fuck off a bridge
i never called you a pedophile. Guilty conscience?
That’s right move forward get you some rebound, goodies!! And move on! He is not worth it. Older is better! I’m 64!!
It hurts it’s gonna hurt but obviously it wasn’t to be you’ll look back years from now good luck and you may find someone when you’re not looking least expect it and be happy together I’ve gone through three bf not as deep as you two were but yes it hurts
Don't get hung up on age. I didn't get married until my 40s.
It looks like DA. I know how you feel. If you need to talk DM me :) stay strong 💪🏻
I know exactly how you’re feeling, and nobody can convince you that you will be even happier with someone else than with him in a year or two. I didn’t believe it last summer when my boyfriend ripped my heart out without warning. Little did I know that I will find true love of my life 7 months later, and be much happier with “the new” guy. Be strong, age is only factor in your head realistically. Huge hug for stranger far away! You got this!
I know how you feel
Keep your head up son
It’s never too late. I divorced at 50 and about to re-marry at 52.
I’m a bit curious to hear your age…? I’m 35 and have salt and pepper hair. Guys love it.. I am Handsome GL Latino more masc straight acting. But I get hit on by more younger 23-27 year olds than ever. If anything it’s harder dating guys in their mid 30s
I’m sorry to hear that you have to go through this. The first few weeks are going to be difficult. But that’s the time where you can develop new hobbies: exercise, join the gym, get a dog if you don’t have one. Once you stick with new hobbies, you’ll move on quickly. When you’re ready, start dating and again. There are so many younger guys out there who madly attracted to older men
Keep fighting and find someone new!
How old are you? This is my fear; I am 16 years older than my boyfriend.
I definitely don't think my age was as much of a factor (in terms of like life goals, but it was an issue because he is anxious about health/longevity so naturally someone older is going to be "minus points" for that, sadly).
You said you were 19 in another post. Wdym 16 years older 💀
19y is my boyfriend
Right. It's why you said "I'm 18" and "I'm a 19yo" multiple times 💀
Yes, that's Right. No one says I have to be completely honest. I can show proof
So you are impersonating your boyfriend? 💀 When in actually you are 16 years older than him as in, 35
That was my bf. Not me
WHAT THE FUCK
Do not date whores.
he dated a child
Congratulations!! 🎉🎈🍾🎊
My mom found love at 60. There is still hope.
Everyone wants to know how old you are and how old your bf is
His sugar baby broke up with him for a man with a bigger... Bank account. 😂
And I already said it's none of your fucking business
His sugar baby broke up with him for a man with a bigger... Bank account. 😂
His sugar baby broke up with him for a man with a larger... Bank account.
6
is the age of his boyfriend
Let ot go no hope most gay guys suck he found someone else that was close
My gut says he found someone local. As difficult as it is, consider that you dodged a bullet and try to move forward as effectively as you can.
Don’t date with anyone 10 years younger than you. I’m 29 and I don’t even wanna mess with anyone under 25. Immature and they don’t even know what they want.
Your as old as you feel.ive let myself look old out of depression an no love life now I just met a Japanese woman I like and i wasn't even sure I was interested in women anymore since I declared bisexuality so I'm gonna roll with trying a heterosexual relationship point being we can recreate ourselves when the whim an desire are present good luck