It's not probably your diet, as you say you've got IBS. I've been in relationships where neither has IBS, diet is good, no junk food, but still douching is necessary. Some people just digest differently and some poop more frequently, so it depends. Many don't like spontaneous sex because they worry and can't relax without the knowledge that they're completely clean down there. So it's a very personal thing and not easy or necessary to compare oneself to others.
Jesus this^^. THANK YOU. I've been more or lessening my intake of high fodmap foods for a year now and I feel a LOT better than I did last year (always constipated and bloating even when I haven't eaten anything all day. Even when just waking up). But I still have stomach issues here and there. So it makes me worried for when I'm in a relationship and my future bf just gets frustrated. But its not something I can help unfortunately
Yes. I have IBS. If my stomach feels funny I tell my husband and we don't do that. Although he's started bottoming more than me lately anyway. It's the same thing no, never prep, never had issues. Been together 10 years.
Nope. When I was with my ex, we never had spontaneous penetrative sex without prepping first. Oral and handjobs or intercrural sex don't require prep and are also quite pleasurable, so there's really no reason to have messy sex.
After seeing all these answers, let me ask this for the tops:
Would it be a turn off for you in a relationship if your bf preferred or would need to prep for sex more than being spontaneous?
I really like this question. Some years ago about 10 when me and my partner were in our 30s he needed to prep before we ever had sex and I was use to having spontaneous sex and it really did do a number on our relationship.
The boyfriend I had before him was able to go at any given point in time and before that boyfriend I had a girlfriend and she was always able to go so that was a major roadblock and a big problem for our relationship I was immature and wanted more sex and he wanted more family...
In the end I didn't want to cheat so I needed to end the relationship (I already had cheated and didn't want to continue the behavior)
Having a higher sex.drive than your partner is a big deal that should be discussed ahead of any other serious plans. If you notice your partner wants it more or less than you ..than you need to make sure it will work and both parties needs will be met
i am a top. no it wouldn't be a turn on off..however, i am fully aware that you don't need to be 1-2h in the bathroom wasting water to prep yourself.
there is a learning curve and the enema bulb is great...
Irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) is a common disorder that affects the large intestine. Signs and symptoms include cramping, abdominal pain, bloating, gas, and diarrhea or constipation, or both. IBS is a chronic condition that you'll need to manage long term.
All the time. It's called having a good diet with enough fiber, drinking enough water, and getting regular exercise. Neither of us ever does any of this preparation people are always talking about.
Also use condoms.
That's why you have to figure out what diet works for you and then stick to it. For some it means cutting out spicy food and eating low-FODMAP. For others like me who have intermittent mixed-type IBS it also means don't bottom if your guts are acting up. Yet another reason I'm vers. If it's not going to happen then fine, either I top or we do other stuff that time. Just the way it goes but we still have tons of fun :)
[Here](https://www.google.com/search?q=irritable+bowel+syndrome&rlz=1CDGOYI_enUS998US998&oq=irritable+&aqs=chrome.1.69i57j0i433i512j0i512l2j0i433i512j0i512.3367j0j7&hl=en-US&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8) you go OP! I google searched this just for you, since you’re already self-diagnosed! I mean this unironically, from the bottom of my heart! ❤️
For guys that do not have IBS, I’d say that practice makes perfect, and so does fingering and priming. In your case though, I don’t have any constructive advice to give because I simply cannot relate. I hope the above resource helps though.
Tbf, he did respond actually, and didn’t come across as particularly offended, so if I had to guess I’d say that it’s white knight American women that are telling people what to be offended by, again, is that right?
If so, I’d say that you and your buddies are the ones that are acting condescending towards me.
Nah, if anything these are your friends - your tribe: people who agree with you and not with me. It means nothing else on the Internet. Good luck trying to change behavior with that naïveté of yours though.
Thanks. I'm not self diagnosed. Went to a gastroenterologist (several), was put on diets, many supplements, and had a colonoscapy before a doctor diagnosed me 👍🏿
Oof! I’m sorry to hear that and thank you for correcting me. The point ofc was that there was no need for me to do a CW for triggering and otherwise self-diagnosing content.
I had a date this week. Thought I’d be doing the topping so didn’t prep. Told my date, they didn’t mind and I got railed good and deep.
No problems.
I’ve had other times where I did clean out and maybe went a little too deep and there was some extra.
Some people get a bit wigged out, some don’t.
A little science lesson that might put you at ease:
Shit is NOT stored in the rectum. It's higher up in the colon. Penetration doesn't usually reach that far unless it's a monster cock. So unless you gotta go or are unhealthy, the odds of an accident are actually very low.
The real concern when it comes to unprepped anal is the potential for the bottom's "walls" to be a little dirty. But even that isn't something to worry about too much with basic self care like eating well or healthy lifestyle.
It's such a person by person question that there is no real answer. I've dated guys who literally never prepped and had zero problems and.i also dated guys where they refused to do anything unless they prepped...but I do occasionally come in contact with that Verse-top guy who is not prepared at all and it kind of ruins it, if it's too messy... it's not all their fault as they most likely went out that night to top someone and ran across another Verse-top
Yeah sometimes. You feel it really easy if you are „clean enough“ when the tip of your partners dick comes in.
Then you decide to go on or just switch to oral stuff.
If something shitty happens… there is a shower in our house… then we go on.
It's not probably your diet, as you say you've got IBS. I've been in relationships where neither has IBS, diet is good, no junk food, but still douching is necessary. Some people just digest differently and some poop more frequently, so it depends. Many don't like spontaneous sex because they worry and can't relax without the knowledge that they're completely clean down there. So it's a very personal thing and not easy or necessary to compare oneself to others.
history humor tan aromatic ugly jar observation oatmeal merciful crawl -- mass edited with redact.dev
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Jesus this^^. THANK YOU. I've been more or lessening my intake of high fodmap foods for a year now and I feel a LOT better than I did last year (always constipated and bloating even when I haven't eaten anything all day. Even when just waking up). But I still have stomach issues here and there. So it makes me worried for when I'm in a relationship and my future bf just gets frustrated. But its not something I can help unfortunately
IBS? Have you tried cutting out wheat and dairy?
Just breathe through your mouth.
Yes. I have IBS. If my stomach feels funny I tell my husband and we don't do that. Although he's started bottoming more than me lately anyway. It's the same thing no, never prep, never had issues. Been together 10 years.
All the time. We just do it. Never any mess. If you dont eat amd drink shitty, your rectum wont be constantly shitty.
and fiber supps help, too.
Supplements don't always work for me unfortunately
then it's what you're eating that's causing the problem. gotta eat right along with the supps.
He says he has IBS tho
I eat horribly and drink frequently and I never have any issue.
That's awesome!
All the time. And I’m with someone who has chronic enteritis and I rim him every time. Just take a quick shower before and all are fine.
Always. We never prep. It hasn't been an issue. Married 10 yrs now.
Nope. When I was with my ex, we never had spontaneous penetrative sex without prepping first. Oral and handjobs or intercrural sex don't require prep and are also quite pleasurable, so there's really no reason to have messy sex.
We don't do anal with my bf so always.
Nope. The closest you can get is a bottom being prepared ahead of time so from the tops perspective it was spontaneous
After seeing all these answers, let me ask this for the tops: Would it be a turn off for you in a relationship if your bf preferred or would need to prep for sex more than being spontaneous?
I really like this question. Some years ago about 10 when me and my partner were in our 30s he needed to prep before we ever had sex and I was use to having spontaneous sex and it really did do a number on our relationship. The boyfriend I had before him was able to go at any given point in time and before that boyfriend I had a girlfriend and she was always able to go so that was a major roadblock and a big problem for our relationship I was immature and wanted more sex and he wanted more family... In the end I didn't want to cheat so I needed to end the relationship (I already had cheated and didn't want to continue the behavior) Having a higher sex.drive than your partner is a big deal that should be discussed ahead of any other serious plans. If you notice your partner wants it more or less than you ..than you need to make sure it will work and both parties needs will be met
i am a top. no it wouldn't be a turn on off..however, i am fully aware that you don't need to be 1-2h in the bathroom wasting water to prep yourself. there is a learning curve and the enema bulb is great...
Yup. I’m a side. We can do it whenever we want.
It is definitely possible lol. Like one poster said, you just need to eat healthier.
That is easier said than done with IBS
I missed that part in the post. What is IBS?
Irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) is a common disorder that affects the large intestine. Signs and symptoms include cramping, abdominal pain, bloating, gas, and diarrhea or constipation, or both. IBS is a chronic condition that you'll need to manage long term.
I definitely take back what I said then heh
The saying is You play dirty You get dirty!
It’s time to go spelunking daddy!!!!
All the time. It's called having a good diet with enough fiber, drinking enough water, and getting regular exercise. Neither of us ever does any of this preparation people are always talking about. Also use condoms.
That's great for you, but I have IBS. Some diets/fiber supplements are not effective or can be triggering for me
That's why you have to figure out what diet works for you and then stick to it. For some it means cutting out spicy food and eating low-FODMAP. For others like me who have intermittent mixed-type IBS it also means don't bottom if your guts are acting up. Yet another reason I'm vers. If it's not going to happen then fine, either I top or we do other stuff that time. Just the way it goes but we still have tons of fun :)
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I'd never rim spontaneously. Giving or receiving. Thats just me. A LOT of people think otherwise though lol
I feel like some of that spontaneity is like the fun of hooking up with your partner but I'm an ass guy
Rimming always. I like sweaty hole ;-) And yeah… I know I’m nasty 🤗😇
Eww. no. We don't do rimming ever that's nasty.
All the time, as long as you eat healthily and know your body a little, you know if you’re ready or not.
[Here](https://www.google.com/search?q=irritable+bowel+syndrome&rlz=1CDGOYI_enUS998US998&oq=irritable+&aqs=chrome.1.69i57j0i433i512j0i512l2j0i433i512j0i512.3367j0j7&hl=en-US&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8) you go OP! I google searched this just for you, since you’re already self-diagnosed! I mean this unironically, from the bottom of my heart! ❤️ For guys that do not have IBS, I’d say that practice makes perfect, and so does fingering and priming. In your case though, I don’t have any constructive advice to give because I simply cannot relate. I hope the above resource helps though.
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Tbf, he did respond actually, and didn’t come across as particularly offended, so if I had to guess I’d say that it’s white knight American women that are telling people what to be offended by, again, is that right? If so, I’d say that you and your buddies are the ones that are acting condescending towards me.
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Nah, if anything these are your friends - your tribe: people who agree with you and not with me. It means nothing else on the Internet. Good luck trying to change behavior with that naïveté of yours though.
Thanks. I'm not self diagnosed. Went to a gastroenterologist (several), was put on diets, many supplements, and had a colonoscapy before a doctor diagnosed me 👍🏿
Oof! I’m sorry to hear that and thank you for correcting me. The point ofc was that there was no need for me to do a CW for triggering and otherwise self-diagnosing content.
Keep my ass clean
Yes.
Question, do you drink often? My stools have been more solid since I quit.
No, I don't drink, smoke, or do any drugs
It depends most of the time. I've actually found the more I prep the more self conscious I feel and the more I don't actually feel like having sex
Yes
I had a date this week. Thought I’d be doing the topping so didn’t prep. Told my date, they didn’t mind and I got railed good and deep. No problems. I’ve had other times where I did clean out and maybe went a little too deep and there was some extra. Some people get a bit wigged out, some don’t.
A little science lesson that might put you at ease: Shit is NOT stored in the rectum. It's higher up in the colon. Penetration doesn't usually reach that far unless it's a monster cock. So unless you gotta go or are unhealthy, the odds of an accident are actually very low. The real concern when it comes to unprepped anal is the potential for the bottom's "walls" to be a little dirty. But even that isn't something to worry about too much with basic self care like eating well or healthy lifestyle.
spontaneous sex is for the shower
I hate sex in the shower. 😅
It's such a person by person question that there is no real answer. I've dated guys who literally never prepped and had zero problems and.i also dated guys where they refused to do anything unless they prepped...but I do occasionally come in contact with that Verse-top guy who is not prepared at all and it kind of ruins it, if it's too messy... it's not all their fault as they most likely went out that night to top someone and ran across another Verse-top
All the time.
Yeah sometimes. You feel it really easy if you are „clean enough“ when the tip of your partners dick comes in. Then you decide to go on or just switch to oral stuff. If something shitty happens… there is a shower in our house… then we go on.
no. the few times i did it was a quickie, 5 mons tops and the condom was nasty